/ot/ - off-topic

A have a pretty disfunctional family, shit sucks. I look back at my childhood and the conditions I thought were normal were awful. My Dad is a raging, alcoholic manbaby that I cut contact with a few years ago because as an adult I couldnt deal with his shitty attitude. My older sister is very similar to my dad, substance abuse and volatile narcissist. She always mooches, refuses to work, and spends her time hooking up with guys or bullshitting about being an "artist/hippie/yogi/leech" on social media. My mom tries but she enabled my sister to be such a crazy bitch by doing nothing about it. My sister is my personal lolcow but it is not so funny in my own life.

Trying to think of a funny story but its hard. The time she pawned my stuff? All the times shes physicalky attacked me or destroyed my things for telling her no? Every time she tries to call herself an artist while sitting around getting drunk everday? All of the creepy abusive boyfriends shes brought around?

I grew up in a Jehovah's witnesses family. It was hell.
They control your entire life: you can't befriend or date non JWs (you can talk to them at school, etc but you have to avoid getting close), watch/read anything they dislike, you have to preach in your neighborhood (even children), avoid family members and friends who left the cult and NEVER ever think for yourself.

You also can't get blood transfusions, so if you need one in the hospital you will probably die. They sign a document that guarantees your "choice" of not accepting blood even in case of accidents.

But the worst part of all of this is that my ex stepfather was a pastor, which is called elder in the religion/cult.

He abused me. Destroyed my self esteem. Threatened me. Name it and he probably did it to me.
And shit went on and on for years because no one believed an elder would do something like that. I didn't know who I should reach out to because they raise you in a bubble, and everyone I talked to in the religion stayed on his side.

Long story, but in the end he was exposed and my mom got a divorce. I have lots of stories to tell but it's hard to relive everything.

Basically, it was shit. I've seen they doing so many retarded things you won't believe it.

If a JW ever knocks on your door please be kind and tell them you're not interested instead of arguing with them.
Many JWs don't leave because they can't – if they do, they will be shunned by their families and friends. So they choose to stay in the cult. Same for teens and kids, they have no choice.

>>173083
Damn. I'm so sorry anon. Random question when I was younger we lived next door to another Hispanic religious family and their kid died because of an allergic reaction. I guess they didn't believe in epipens? Is that a common thing with JW

My uncle is legitimately a neo-Nazi. Swastika tattoos everywhere, goes to Hitler rallies, etc. It's fucking embarrassing.

>>173107
Thanks, anon.
They use every kind of medicine and attend doctors normally.
The only thing they avoid are blood transfusions.

>>173083
It's like the west's version of islam

I was diagnosed with and in therapy for major depression and PTSD from living 20+ years with (mostly)emotional and physical abuse from both my step-dad and my mom.

I was always left out and (emotionally) neglected as a kid as well as being constantly yelled at, insulted for minor things and attacked for being "disrespectful".

Same things occurred to my younger siblings but I was treated much worse, because I was not his kid (he was very manipulative with my mom and everyone around him, I still don't trust him to this day; even though God changed him).

We were always "the perfect family" while in the public eye, and I denied the abuse for so long it was easier to live with. That denial was stemmed both forcefully and willingly, until recently I've decided to come clean to my therapists about it.

It hurts just thinking about it.

Oh god here we go.

Birth mother- narcissistic tendencies, BPD still untreated at age 53. Threatened suicide at least 5 times a year. My earliest memories of her include being driven home from school in fifth grade whilst she screams and cries about how she should just crash the car with us both in it.
At six I didn't keep my room tidy so one day all my plush toys were pinned to the roof. We always lived with some boyfriend or in a shitty flat until she decided we had to move again. Never lived anywhere longer than a couple of years growing up.
I was the golden child. One Christmas I remember getting a brand new DSi and a game released the week prior amongst other things. A few hundred bucks worth of gifts and we were always dirt poor. Anyway, my older sister the scapegoat gets given a battery operated can opener and no batteries and mum is so pleased with herself asking me how much I love my new games and asking how good the can opener is despite not even being able to use it.

This same woman suggested that my psychotic episodes weren't necessarily psychosis but spirits trying to communicate with me because I was sensitive to them and that I should open up my mind and practice "white-lighting" whatever that is and talk to the spirits trying to communicate with me. She thought that I could be a psychic when I had voices in my head telling me everyone in public was watching me because they knew I wasn't really a human.

Going out in public with her as a kid was torture. You had to stay no closer than four steps but no further than 10 steps away at all times. Even in your 17th birthday you can't go look at a shop by yourself. This resulted in screaming for half an hour in the food court and catching a bus home.
She's find a reason to make any cashier feel like shit especially if she was a younger girl. They'd be too slow or look at her funny or not say hello politely enough and mum would launch into another screeching fit. Once we'd left the store she's randomly start shouting at me about how incompetent she was as if I made some poor teenager behind the register slightly slower than another with lasers from my eyes or someshit.

This has become a huge list of anecdotes but one more. The hot chocolate incident. I was 12 or so, and mum took my sister and into the mall. They got coffees and I asked if I could get a white hot chocolate. It was $1 more than the coffees so the answer was no. I was well trained to feel guilty for such acts of greed (asking for a thing! Pig!) and said I'd just have a bottle of water then since it was all I really drank.
This was apparently a guilt trip to mum so she got a large white hot chocolate after spending 15 odd minutes telling me I was selfish and greedy and gluttonous for asking for it and then she and my sister sat there nagging me to drink it, asking every sip if it's nice and if I'm happy now that I've wasted money and made their whole day awful and stop crying to make them look bad. Episodes like this were usually followed up a few weeks later by visiting the shops again and asking me why I never ask her for anything, and am I doing it just to make her feel mean. I honestly thought I was a manipulative narcissistic psycho for years and years because of her lol.

My father was a narcissist, pathological liar, and probably a psychopath or something too. Who knows? I was going to say it was nothing too crazy, but maybe it was. If you want to get a good idea of how my father was, go watch some of Onion's videos. He reminds me so much of him.

He treated my mother and I like shit emotionally and sometimes verbally. He would literally do anything to not work, sometimes injuring himself on purpose, just to collect workers comp. There was even one time before I was born where he left to go to work and called my mother, claiming to be kidnapped. She called the police and they found him tied to a tree in the middle of nowhere, claiming someone tried to kidnap him. In the end, turns out he did it himself to try to get out of going to work for awhile. I have no fucking idea what he was thinking.

The kicker was him being arrested when I was 18 and my mother and I discovering that he had been sexually abusing my childhood best friend from age 7-16. I'm pretty sure I witnessed some things, but I don't really remember much, thank God. It took me a long time to accept that he groomed me to get to her, though I don't think he outrightly molested me.

Now he's sitting in jail for 50 years and still denies it. He wouldn't even admit it to save me from having to testify against him. He writes to me occasionally, asking for money or numbers for lawyers, because he claims the prison won't treat his medical issues and that he has enough fodder to sue them for negligence. Yeah right. He really fucked me up, but I'm in therapy now and am working on my self-esteem and stuff and will hopefully have enough strength to finally cut contact with him in 2017.

my dad was an immigrant who started working part time at a fast food restaurant to working as a sous chef in the foothills full time. we lived pretty comfortably in a normal area of the city, although he was never home. this didn't really bother me because he wasn't really around and it just struck me as normal. i later found out that he would stick around work after hours drinking with his friends and cheating on my mother. she dedicated her entire life around him and was heavily dependent on him, emotionally and money wise. she never paid attention to my sister or me, all she talked about was him and saying how evil he was and feeding us a bunch of negative shit. i didn't really understand but i used to cry a lot. she eventually became very emotionally abusive and would drink every night. she used to tell me how much i reminded her of my dad, personality and physical wise. she encouraged me to commit suicide and said i was an embarrassment to her. she would make me text my dad really sexual questions while she got drunk and laughed. she came home intoxicated once and threatened to take away all my resources (therapist, internet, public school) and would scream about how no one cared about her. my sister ended up having her first anxiety attack at this time. she ended up having this boyfriend who would ALWAYS watch father/stepdaughter themed porn and would be strangely affectionate with my sister but also verbally abuse her. when i brought it up to her, she denied it and said i was making it up for attention and how no one cared about her. i hate my mom so, so, so much. she had a miscarriage recently but is pregnant again. i hope the baby dies because she CANNOT parent. she probably has some personality disorder or something. she's fucking crazy.

my step father has horribly abusive and a terrible alcoholic. he has come close to killing my sister and i so many times. i remember calling the police on him one night when i was 7 because he was choking my sister and punching her in the face and they never did anything. for years the police came to our house because of his abuse and the only thing to ever come from it was court ordered AA. I basically chose prostitution to get away from him. he slept with a loaded shotgun and would pull it on us or him so many times and blamed me because he was so depressed. years later he joined the military and everyone lauded him a hero but i never will forgive him. all the money he claimed for still being married to my mom went to his girlfriend and the kid he had with her along with the other children she had with military men. that woman basically fucked military guys for benefits. my mom ended up dead and he laughed. it was all pretty sick. like other anon, i was blamed for money problems. i would ask for school books and it would become a fist fight because he couldnt afford a 7$ book but he could drink literally a case of beer a night. i went to school with years old clothes and it was mortifying to have friends who would want to hang out at my house because of holes in the walls that would get punched out and the old beer bottles and shit laying around.

at least now living my own life i can do whatever i can to not live like that any more. i wont let my kids have that sort of life..

>>173134
fuck, anon. that sort of reminds me of a close friend's life. I'm so sorry to hear you had to go through with that.

actually, I'm sorry for everyone in this thread. I hope you can live happy lives despite your past and horrible family members, guys.

I'm going to try to keep this concise.
My dad has severe OCD and bipolar disorder.
my life is fucked up because of this.
if anyone can relate with that i will be more detailed but,
I don't want to be a wall of text.


my life is a complete mess because of this and i'm ruined.

My mother got rid of me when I was 15. The social workers took me to a coffee shop after school and literally said, "your mother is abandoning you, Anon. You can't go home again." I was never rebellious, reckless or obnoxious. The worst I did as a child/young teen was dress in a gothic sort of style. Before being abandoned I spent about a year living in a child "halfway house" but was never allowed home. Alarms on the doors (that was a common theme in future group homes I was in, too), logs kept by social workers analyzing your daily personality for psychological flaws, your manner of dress kept track of, medications of any kind locked down. My mother would scream all the time and was very militaristic. I was sheltered my entire life. I was never allowed to ask questions, basically not allowed to speak unless spoken to. One memory I have that paved the way for my sheer terror of her was bringing math homework home that I was struggling with, I just couldn't get it. The teacher told me to do it with my mother. Well, I was struggling even at home. My mother lunged across the table, putting her hands on either side of my head and squeezed as hard as she could while screaming at me and lifting me off the chair at the same time. This lasted minutes. I learned then and there to never ask for anything and to avoid her as much as possible. There was a physical abuse aspect several times with her, but her main focus was destroying my character and emotions at every moment.

My mother was a ward of the state as a child and for years before abandoning me she would threaten that I was "going". We would be driving, and she would purposely drive to the state office and stop, point and say, "that's where you're going." She couldn't wait to get rid of me. When I was gone, she moved in two borders, got a government job which she told me I had been holding her back from and started living a single female lifestyle, like I was an inconvenience and had caused her life to stall. She always told me I was the reason her body was ruined, and I guess she took everything negative in life out on me… life was so hard growing up that today I struggle with normal things.

My mom is a single mom who raised three kids on her own. I was always the black sheep, and she would constantly belittle me, abuse me, manipulate me, and threaten me. She has gotten sick over the years, and keeps pulling the "I'm sick, so you have to only think about me" card. When I was diagnosed with clinical depression, she would tell me I had no reason to be sad, because I'm not hurt like she was. I had to go into a quiet submission and keep my emotions hidden away from her, because if I even told her how I felt, she'd hit me or tell me I was a disgrace. Things got progressively worse, and one day she was "online dating" this asshole who pretended to be a military man for her money, you know the shitty ass scam. She fell for it and sent over $1,000 worth but couldn't somehow afford the mental treatment I needed. I was in a long distance relationship with my current boyfriend, and she constantly made fun of me because mine was "fake" and hers was as real as ever. I retaliated, and she landed me a sucker punch and pulled my hair out from my head with full force. I was too scared to step outside of my room without her threatening to kill me. I've come home to hear screaming about how awful I am, and how I only love myself, but she wants me to dedicate my entire life to her. I've been mentally ill for so long, and when she got diagnosed with "depression", she made it all about her and how I'm faking it, when I was on medication against my will. She laughed when I was assigned medication. She would drug me would I have anxiety attacks so she wouldn't handle them. She's ruined my sister's life, and she wanted to ruin mine. When I went off to college, and I had to leave temporarily, my mom called me an embarrassment and to go kill myself. I recently went to another therapist, and I was misdiagnosed with BPD and I have a severe case of anxiety, and my mom is the problem. I live miles away from her now, and seeing a call from her or even a text gives me the worst anxiety attack. I can't live my life normally. I can't talk to new people, I can't function after someone yells at me, I fall apart. I can't sleep without crying about how terrible my life has been. I have scars that my mom has left one me, from cords, to her biting me, so her scratching me, and her punches. From her telling me that I am undeserving of love, I can't believe I truly am loved in this world. My mom is the scariest thing in my life and I hope one day I don't have to talk to her anymore. She's done worse things than what I've said here, but I'm not ready to let people know about the abuse and trauma I've had.

>>173127
Holy shit and I thought my mother was crazy. Yours was an extreme case. I'm sorry for all what you've been throught with such a crazy woman for mother, anon… Please tell me you don't still live under the same roof any longer.

My brother in law went on a murder spree a few years ago, he's currently in prison. And I have a cousin who committed a gang related murder when he was a teen, served his time, is normal now like a decade later.

>>173202
Yeah I've been out of home since I was 15. I live with my fiancée now and went no contact with my Ma over a year ago. TBH I thought she might have been dead until she invited me to Christmas lunch lol.

Reading the stories here, I'm grateful she wasn't worse and that's about it. Thank you though anon. It feels good to be validated in hating her

My entire family is full of drama and craziness so like I've never met my dads side of the family and almost everyone on my moms side is either dead or not talking to each other because of 30+ year old drama which is pretty hilarious tbh.

Within my actual family, my sister is the crazy one. She had a rough couple of years on hard drugs so she'd act out and do regular druggie shit (disappear, steal from family members, hit people, etc.) and she's cleaned up a couple of years ago but I'm convinced she's genuinely a psychopath because she pulls shit that is exactly textbook and she genuinely doesn't care about anyone else and will trample on and destroy people just to get sympathy and get what she wants.

I gave up speaking to her about 4 years ago and get updates from my mom. It's great I'm following in my family tradition, lel.

it seems like a lot of you would benefit by visiting r/raisedbynarcisists tbh.

>>173228
I'm from there fam. It's kinda bizarre how many formerly abused kids are here

>>173228

I suspect that my sister is a narcissist, she was always spoiled even after the other siblings were born. She was always my stepdad's favorite. Even though she has a job that pays her enough, she still expects my mom to buy her things, like today with the nails, jewelry and Victoria's Secret underwear.

Oh and the over 9,000 selfies she takes just like Laineybot, at least she smiles lol.

My grand-pa went on a sex spree a few years ago, there were some story about him and prostitute. Month later, he hung himself, in his tool shed. My grand ma found all sort of sex items when she had to clean out his shit.
He was always a little weird, prone to anger and had radical political ideas. He physically abused my mom when she was younger because she was from a previous marriage. She's wary of everything, can't have friend and always see what bad could come out anything. She raised me to be the same even though she wanted a better life for me and did everything she could to give it to me.

But even knowing all of that, when I think about him, I can't help but remembering fondly him offering me a taste of his homemade honey or driving me and my cousin to pet this cute newborn calf he named "surprise".

>>173228
Been there, its crazy how similar abusive families can be.

Anyone else find themselves drawn to people from similar backgrounds? Most of my friends also have bad/absent fathers as well.

Parents are pretty nuts. I grew up and my mom was cool, very chill. Granted, she was on drugs pretty bad. My dad has always been a douche and drughead.
We weren't poor or anything but whenever my dad or her got a bonus at work that's where it would go. I remember one day I spent a whole Saturday while they walked around the house smoking crack and my mom hallucinated someone in the closet talking to her. I had to talk her down and tell her no one was in there for hours, I was only 9 years old. After that my parents both got clean for the most part and that's when my mom got strict, she "didn't want me going the route she and my dad went" and would scream at me for even simple things like not doing my chores right away or going to bed a little late.
As of right now she's convinced someone is hacking her phone and keeps running to her providers store screaming at people to fix it while they tell her nothing is wrong. This morning she asked me to fix someone on her phone, when I went to grab it I guess I went to fast or something and she pulled me down and started screaming, "GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE" while beating on the center of my chest really hard. I could let go because simultaneously my dad was twisting my arm and pulling my hair down so I couldn't move.

They never used to get physical with me until this past month, I've had my hair pulled, been swung at, slapped, kicked, etc etc. As for mental shit my parents are also both really religious so I'm always told to not listen to rock music and that I'm going to burn in hell for something as simple as saying "oh my God".
I'm getting out of here soon. I'm trying to get a car at the moment and then I'm saving up to move out of state with an old friend. I'm just trying to hang in there and hope I don't lose it myself.

>>173501
I hope this doesn't sound obvious and insensitive, but have you report it to the police? Are you able to in your country?

got molested by a family member when i was five that i still live with today. they never did it again and are nearly unrecognizable from the person they were before. never overstep boundaries, provide for our family like they never did before. i'm an atheist but i have so much respect for religion in some ways because becoming devoted to their faith really did change them for the better. my life would be so much different if they'd been sent to prison for what they did but i don't know if would have been better to be honest. i just repress the memory and live with it. some days i don't even think about it at all.

Grandparent died. Family going though pictures and cleaning out house, found stash of me and grandparent having sex shot by grandma, full piv stuff and I think I was ages 3-5 in those pictures. I don't remember any of this but no one in the family talks about it, I think denial, and the pictures were destroyed. Awkward, I should probably get counseling one day.

Mentioned in another thread about tumblr kink-cows, but my older sister used underage pictures of me on her dd/lg fetish blog. They ranged from maybe 11-16 years of age. She did not claim them to be herself, but it messed with my head. A picture of happy preteen me bending over a fence to look at a petting zoo, sandwiched between a girl getting choked out and a black and white picture of a dick. I was consistently raped and taken advantage of by a father figure at around 8 years old, so you could say it was especially problematic. I'm sure he didn't target her, as he made a beeline for my room the moment he got home and had an opportunity. But in addition to posting pictures of me, she stole my life story–saying that she was the one who was taken by this man, that she suffered from the same ailments I have (no, older sister, you do not have fucking breast cancer), to garner pity from her perverted followers. To seem more fragile. The idea of an older sister, someone you are often meant to trust and rely on, flaunting you as pedobait to a bunch of faceless daddy dom types–can you imagine? And using your suffering as an opportunity to roleplay as the sick and frail victim. Suffice to say I did something that had her blog taken down, because it was eating away at me for a couple of months. I have trouble looking her in the eyes. She really disgusts me. I only just came out to my mother about it (leaving out some of the grittier details) because I felt kind of violated. She will keep quiet about it like I asked, but at least we can give my sister the side-eye together.

I still can't tell if she had ill intention or if she really is just that stupid. Either way, I hope to distance myself as much as possible.

My mother would abuse me physically and emotionally every day until my parents divorced and she moved out when I was 16. She made me believe that I deserved every bit of it making so I literally never even thought about getting help. I had perfect grades and behavior but the smallest mistake would earn me a severe beating and scolding e.g not having my shirt buttoned all the way up, getting an A instead of an A* in my math GCSE.
Fun Incident: My dad worked abroad when I was about four/five to make us a bit more money. I was awoken in the night by one of her screeching psychotic episodes. Scared shitless (as I always was) I froze in bed and listened to her scream to no one in particular about how dad was cheating on her abroad. She would have delusions like that often as she would come up with these things out of the blue at completely random times.
She then called him up on our phone (it was in the late nineties) and screeched for a good hour at him about it. She would actually imagine women that he was apparently cheating on with full descriptions of their appearance and everything, including stuff they did together, where they where from etc.
She would try to get my dad to 'admit' to cheating on her by screeching and threatening him with my safety. But that night she actually came into my room and dragged me out of bed. I would like to say that every time she did that I was afraid she would actually kill me. She dragged me to the phone and started to mercilessly beat me holding the phone receiver next to my face so my dad could hear me scream in pain, completely helpless to do stop her.
Keep in mind this was eastern Europe and he was in Scandinavia, at like four in the morning. He had to call my grandparents to come get me from the next town over. She beat me to unconsciousness so I have no idea if my grandparents came or not because next day I was still at home (on the floor where she left me). She was back to her normal self (less screechy and just emotionally abusive) and by then I knew not to question anything that happened so I just went on with my life.
She did other shit but I don't think I have it in me to tell the other stories. She did shit like >>173127
when she would threaten to crash the car with me in it. She also tried to drown me in a lake.
Fun times.
I got loads of help and came to terms with it with the help of my dad and friends so am fine now.

>>173302
>offering me a taste of his homemade honey
Please excuse my autism, but is this a euphemism? If so, my condolences.