/ot/ - off-topic

>>1722614
I created this thread because I hate that there's no place online to speak honestly about sex work. Everywhere, if you say anything bad about it, you'll be shouted down by the "Don't beee whoooorephobic!!1" brigade. Even sex-worker specific spaces like r/SexWorkersOnly or r/SugarBabyOnlyForum are full of sex workers who believe it's "hot, fun, and empowering" and only want to talk about the good and if you don't toe the party line you'll be banned. It would be nice to have somewhere to speak honestly with, and get advice and support from other sex workers. Whether good or bad.

I did a few dom sessions when I was 17-18. I went through a craigslist ad back when they still allowed sex exchanges. I'm sure it still goes on covertly these days, but I'm glad it's not as out and open as it was when I was a teenager. Anyways, I wasn't really up to par of what the madam/mistress wanted. I wasn't pretty enough, meaning, I was a bit chubby but being underaged granted me at least some sort of monetary value. I only went for it because I couldn't make the cut at massage parlors. I'm sure had I been more "beautiful" I would've became addicted to it but after the last session, I stopped, not sex work in itself but going through some sort of pimping agency. I developed an eating disorder not long after all this and have been a street hooker at times. Extremely lucky to not have caught any diseases, but it all felt horrible and nasty. It was very dangerous but I was homeless and out of options. I was underweight at this time and it was easier to pick up decent clients. I was finally "pretty" enough but even so I think back to those times when I sold my body and I want to vomit. I hope I can forgive myself someday for putting myself through all that. I roll my eyes at sex work positivity. I know people look down on former hookers, but nobody really wants to help us. It's either "yasss go queeeen" or being degraded for something that is literally what many women have no choice but to do and what so many men pay for.

There’s a sex work thread in /g/

>>>/g/203317

you're welcome

I know there’s a thread in /g/ already, but I appreciate the specificity of this one. I’ve been in recovery from escorting for several years now and I feel like I’ve mostly done it alone because you just really can’t talk to civilians about this. They either cape super hard for the sex trade despite having no understanding of it…or they assume that because I’m not wallowing in shame or self-pity over this thing that I did, it means that I approve and endorse the industry and think it’s “empowering.” I don’t, I’m well aware that it’s a damaging, dangerous, classist and racist industry that fucked me up mentally. I’m just also not going to waste my time feeling miserable over what I did to survive a shitty time and shitty situation. And I’m not going to beg to be understood by someone that’s never been in my shoes and never had to make the kind of decisions I’ve had to. It’s rare to find someone that’s capable of understanding the nuance of it, so I just don’t tell people anymore.

>>1722722
Why can’t this one also be in /g, there is a reason /g exists and its exactly for these kinds of topics nonnas. There is enough trauma dumping on /ot.

>>1722644
Thankyou for sharing this story, in regards to forgiving yourself I can say I’ve only had this feeling very recently, I go for runs near the hotels I worked from and can almost “talk to myself” in my memory. This went from hate early on, to gradually loving that person.

What I did was I met someone very driven who I could learn from, he got me to learn how to code, and get a job in tech. Got my life together, overall this took 4 years as I was such a wreck with depression and thinking all that I was good for was SW

But now I made myself a routine weekly, got a nice apartment, made goals to reach, and I’m happy with who I used to be. She was in the worst stage of my life and proudly I can work hard to never ever go there again.

I’m not happy that I did porn/escorting but I can rationalise with myself it happened because I was mentally not ok, I was suicidal and just doing things like porn for the self harm sort of sense

It has happened and that’s ok, but you can become someone new. What you did doesn’t define you in any way.