File: 1468218875155.png (18.39 KB, 128x128, image.png)
Oh sorry, you were ovulating
? Well that changes things drastically, doesn't it?
I was in an LDR for 2 whole years. You've no excuse.
I'm genuinely curious about why people cheat and how it happens. Was that really all there was to it? Do you remember what was going through your head while it happened and right after?
I think this is a really interesting topic tbh. And btw, sometimes the victim in a relationship is the cheater themselves. It doesn't make what happened right but it brings up a conversation that needs to be had before the cheating even took place.
its ok anon i feel you.
we can feel shitty together.
if anything, my cheating has only made me feel extremely paranoid of my current partner.
(if thats any consolation to you people that feel that need to relentlessly rag on cheaters.)
File: 1468276510593.jpg (31.98 KB, 460x283, congrats_bitch.jpg)
You know who resorts to this insult? Fugly fat bitches who can't get any dick.
File: 1468278560630.jpg (16.62 KB, 250x250, 1300044776986.jpg)
I am skeptical that you are actually OP.
File: 1468278622772.jpg (3.51 KB, 126x114, 1317593640732s.jpg)
so sorry for your troubles, dyslexia-chan.
Your guys' relationship sounds unhealthy as fuck. I hope there's been actual communication and understanding on both ends as to why these things happened, otherwise y'all should break up immediately and seriously take some time to work on yourselves.
Also, yes, I would say that's cheating since you guys were not definitely broken up and instead merely "kind of" broken up.
I'm not that anon, obviously, but I can try to give insight.
when I did it, it was simply because I felt like I could. there was no real thought to it, I didn't go out seeking men to cheat with . if the opportunity arose, I took it. it was sort of an adrenaline rush, but I always told my partner after. about a day later or so. it was rarely anything below the belt. I've been single since then, mostly because that period of my life was very dark imo.
but I also destroy my relationships too so idk. I think I have commitment/intimacy issues because I recently destroyed a new romantic interest, and it pisses me off because it was the first guy I have ever had a "crush" on in years. I really like the guy and I immediately tarnished anything we could have ever had lol.
Gonna offer the perspective of an ex-serial-cheater here for anyone interested.
inb4 I am saying this is true of all people who cheat, I'm not. This is purely what went down with me.
I have had 4 notable/ serious relationships in my life, and in 3/4 of those I have cheated. At the time, I made excuses like "my partner treats me horribly" to justify it. I know now that, for me, that was bullshit. I cheated because it was fun to build a connection with a new person, I was horny, and I genuinely didn't feel any guilt at all. There was nothing deep to it.
I'd quite frequently fuck the other guy, then go home and sleep in the same bed as my partner with no issues. I never actively went looking for opportunities to cheat. I just went with the flow and if an opportunity came up and I felt like taking it, I would.
One of the bfs I cheated on with maybe 10 people over the course of 18 months. He never found out. I was only caught once by my 3rd long term partner, who found out I'd been having a prolonged affair with one guy. We carried on in the relationship for a few months after he found out and eventually split up for other reasons.
The relationship I am in currently has been going strong for almost 4 years and I have not cheated. I have absolutely zero desire to do it any more. That isn't for lack of opportunity, or even worrying about feeling guilt, I just don't feel like doing it. I don't think it's because my current partner makes me feel more fulfilled, or even that there haven't been opportunities, I just really have no desire to do it any more.
A few years ago when I came back from school for the summer I got into a relationship with a guy I'd known for about eight years. He was so sweet and gentle and kind and he was perfect. When I went back to college in the fall I was big into the party/drug scene and I cheated on him constantly. I'd feel awful about it the next day and then go out and get absolutely wasted the next night and do it all over again. I never told him but he ended up finding out regardless. It tore him apart and he was never the same after it and it was only when I got clean that I realized the extent of the damage I did to him. Ill never forgive myself and the regret of my actions for the span of our year relationship is something that haunts me every day even though we have both moved on. The regret is something that you become accustomed to after a while, all you can do is chalk it up as a learning experience and try to move on.
He's met a lovely girl who he is engaged to and they're having a baby together soon. I ended up apologizing to him when I was done my rehab and he told me he'd already forgiven me when he found out I went to get help, just wish I could forgive myself.
TLDR: shit happens, get used to feeling like shit about your actions and dont expect any sympathy. Learn from this experience and don't do it again.
sage for blog post.
Weh weh weh I'm allowed to destroy trust and fidelity and horribly hurt the person I am supposed to love because I was drunk an horny.
If you're so lacking in self control don't get drunk around people. Your excuses are pathetic.
Ovulating? Big woop. Go rub one out instead of sucking whatever cock was closest.
Ah gee, ovulatin'.
Do you guys think broads should be able to vote while ovulating? I don't. Some dictatorial type flashes them the dick from behind the rostrum and BAM! We're living under Mussolini.
Goddamn you, ovulation, if it wasn't for you women would qualify as adults, could own accounts and drive vehicles.>>171842
>do you think its only about self control?!>/was too weak to call it quits >>171877
Not to the extent people with a victim complex would like. Just saying "gosh, it was hard" doesn't excuse you at all. If everyone reasoned like you and applied it to everything society would fall apart with the constant theft and murder that'd go on.
>Rarely does someone ever cheat on anyone to purposefully hurt them.
Yeah, you cheat to satisfy your ego at the cost of someone who's usually in love with you, trading a little of your pleasure for a whole lot of their trauma/humiliation/etc.
If cheating isn't a big deal why is stigmatizing cheaters a big deal? Get over it, it's just a bit of stigma. :^)
Cheating isn't a crime.
Cheating is still a horrible thing, and most cheaters even with understandable reasons are shitty people. But they're not the ~ absolute worse ever.
But did I say they were? When I reference murder and theft its in the context of self-control and accountability, not infidelity.
Free people with control over their actions ought to practice it and their failures should be acknowledged even if they experience strong urges - precisely because they usually accompany serious breaches in conduct. Wouldn't you agree?
Oh cry harder because you can't help jumping into bed with someone who isn't the person you have led to believe is your only partner.
Why do you expect sympathy?
You disregarded the dignity, trust, and respect of the person you were in a relationship with. That's pretty much the entire foundation of a couple and you decided it was less important than an orgasm.
Why should people feel bad or reassure you its okay to hurt someone like that when there was ALWAYS another option. You don't get pats on the back for being selfish.
If you can't or won't be monogamous why enter a relationship that isn't open?
If its not working out or you're drifting apart or whatever, why wouldnt you just end it and then go date or have sex with whoever you want?
What situation in the world exists where you are literally incapable of stopping yourself from having sex without first leaving your partner?
What's your guys' opinion on being the person that the guy cheats on his gf with?
Someone kissed me at their flat party, and due to my slow drunk reactions it happened a few times (and felt so nice, damn it), once I pulled away my only reasoning to him was "don't do that, it's bad, because it's wrong". Stayed over at their house and next morning they tried to kiss me and I was like "uh, no".
I felt so bad for the girlfriend, and the fact he cheated so easily, and was so persistent about it too!
My immediate gut feeling was to go straight over to the gf and tell her, then I figured I'd sleep on it. Now it's been about a month and I haven't said shit. I mean, is it my business? Does she have a right to know? Should I give her a right to be ignorant to it? She's always making joking references that he's hitting on other girls, so maybe she's aware?
Being drunk is no excuse and you knew he had a gf.
Side bitches aside. How do you deal with other women being all up on your BF without seeming like a paranoid psycho? I know they're just friends and he haven't cheated, but I can tell that some of those girls have other intentions, he just can't see it himself.
you don't? your bf has his own autonomy & you have to trust his capacity to make decisions for himself. acting like a paranoid psycho is just going to weird everyone around you out, including him. if it's really something that's weighing on you, talk to him about it in private like, 'listen just my two cents but i'm pretty sure stacy is angling to get in your pants and tell me you won't do anything with her just so i can have some peace of mind' because short of attaching him to your wrist by a leash or ripping out the jugular of the next girl who bats her eyelashes at him, that's p. much all you can do in your situation.
also>being drunk is no excuse
that's like if she got into a car crash that night due to inebriation and your response is 'impaired judgement and inhibited reflexes is no excuse for crashing! you knew that other car was on the road!'
A lot of times people do things because it feels good for themselves. It's selfish but it's hard not to think in terms of "well what they don't know won't hurt them." That's usually how it is. They feels about what they are doing for themselves and don't feel bad until the other person actually is hurt. Morality usually doesn't come into play until the person is caught.
I've been the side ho a couple of times and didn't care because they were my friends and I didn't have intentions of breaking them up. When I was younger I felt like their girlfriends weren't my problem and they're free to make their own choices but these days I feel like that's too apathetic and cheaters shouldn't be encouraged.
I think it's wrong of course, but I don't think people are incapable of change. If it's not a repeated offensive then I feel like it can be overlooked as just a small blemish in their character.
If I were the person being cheated on personally though, I would want my SO to hurt the person they cheated on me with ten fold to what I felt if they wanted to stay with me.
They feel good about*
Ugh I always make mistakes :(
But anon, slowed reaction times is a valid excuse for not pulling away sooner to tell him it's wrong than if I was sober. However, enjoying it and not stopping immediately as I realised just who it was that was kissing me. That was wrong.
Man, it was a fucking weird feeling going back there to sit in the same room as his gf. I opened my mouth to say the words "your boyfriend just kissed me", but shut it again. I think it was the first outright "bad" thing I've done.
Worst thing is knowing that now if a future boyfriend ever cheats on me…I think I kind of deserve it. I didn't go looking for that guy, I didn't hit on or try seduce him, but I didn't stop him, and I didn't tell the girlfriend.
Being cheated on would tear me up, too. I don't know why, but I always found it one of the biggest betrayals one human can do to another. It amazes me when I see people on Jeremy Kyle show talking about their spouses cheating like they bought a fucking pet without their permission or something.
Alrighty then, I've never cheated and never been cheated on, technically. I have been an unwilling participant in an open relationship for his sake but that was my bad for agreeing so w/e
(blog post, skip if no1curr)
My partner and I are both openly bisexual, and we communicate with each other about sexual desires. Both of us are perfectly satisfied with each other, no actual need for other people. But when he wants dick or I want some boobs, we talk about it and involve the other partner in whatever happens, and talk about it again, afterwards. so neither of us feel like we are cheating, or are being cheated on, because it's all done with genuine consent.
If you aren't satisfied sexually or emotionally then fix it or move on. Don't cheat, it's scummy
File: 1468559201612.jpg (9.75 KB, 194x260, Youateyoursalt.jpg)
calm your tits, we don't do it often at all. It's not like there's lines of thirsty singles wanting to fuck with a happily committed couple.
It IS a crime if you are married.
But if not, no. You are still shit tho.
Husband is definitely 10000x worse but I still think sleeping with a man you know is married is bad. Just because you're not connected to the wife doesn't mean you haven't screwed her over.
You can't go back on what you did though. I think you'd only be a truly bad person if you kept doing it with no remorse.
I really don't see the problem if you like something you should go for it. It should be the guys responsibility to control himself. Especially if the guy comes on to you first its not like women are evil succubus its 100% the partner's responsibility not to cheat.>>171907
Damn someone got dumped for another chick lol
Don't bother with that anon. These kind of people have made the decision to turn off the considerate, empathetic part of their brain and upon being confronted with that, throw up their hands and declare anyone who has a problem with their attitude is a salty and irrational.
A lot of people deafen themselves to how their actions affect others in order to preserve their ego and avoid having to confront their own ugliness.
I was looking for a rational discussion and that reply was just a grammatically incorrect spout of insults. And then they justify it by saying just because their daddy dumped their mom for another woman they have the right to instantly hate anyone in a similar situation despite them not even knowing the full story.
Sorry I don't care how sad your situation is that kind of behavior is just irrational and immature and you defending it makes you just as stupid.
I kind of cheated on my ex with this fat, racist, bisexual, libertarian guy. (Ew) Idk, I thought we weren't together anymore, and I was really drunk so I forgot I called my ex and he told me he loved me. I guess we got back together for real the next week.
And I've never really cheated on someone, but I did cause someone to cheat. I met this cute guy at a music festival, and I spent a ton of time with him and even did molly with him while talking about his sexual fetishes even though I knew he had a gf. I also ended up sharing a hammock with him and kind of giving him a boner. We were already crossing a line, but then we got super drunk, he came onto me, and we hooked up in front of all of his camp mates. He denies that anything serious happened, but I dry humped him while he told me what a bad person he was. I really hate the fact he has a girlfriend, and apparently all of his friends hate her too.
Alcohol causes some weird things to happen.
The understanding took years before it happened. I could never get a satisfying answer out of why he did because nothing makes cheating right. People are responsible for their actions regardless of the situation.
I'm understanding of it and forgiving because I have to be to stay in our relationship. It happened once and we have a great relationship now. A family too. His past with being abandoned by his birth mom, orphaned by his adoptive yet abusive mom, and just never having a stable family life does factor in to what he did though it doesn't excuse it. He is still held responsible for the things he did to me but what's done is done and we were able to move past it.
wait what? I never cheated on anyone but okay.>>171914
Eh society just likes to push the blame on women no matter what. Hence the term homewrecker. Notice how nobody ever uses that term for a guy? There's even a website "exposing" the women men cheated with but not the guy who cheated, lmfao.
Im talking about this sitehttp://shesahomewrecker.com/
Those sites don't even have pictures on them and am leak was exposing cheaters in general, its just that most of its users are male.
Try again pls.
File: 1468782567936.jpg (65.61 KB, 500x333, dontdatehim2.jpg)
>>171923>"Anyone notice how there's 'X' but no 'Y'?">gets shown instances of 'Y'>"B-but since 'X' exists, that means 'Y' isn't real!">moving goalposts ("it needs pictures!")>pic related, you're still wrong
Shit logic; try again please.
And if you even paid attention to Ashley Madison, you'd have seen the social fallout of the exposed males. By the way, the male homewreckers (the other man) get the shit beaten out of them more often than slandered on the internet, unlike women. But I'm sure you'll find a way to dismiss that too.
>>171924> That picture dosent even show a cheater, just some random guy that "likes to have sex"
Wow after scouring through that site this is the best example you could give me?
>By the way, the male homewreckers (the other man) get the shit beaten out of them more often than slandered on the internet
Exactly my point dumbass. People generally don't publicly shame men the way they do to women.
Shit logic; try again please.
File: 1468783717444.jpg (50.85 KB, 522x526, 2-dontdatehimgirl-com.jpg)
>>171926>b-but that picture didn't say cheating
It's not just for cheating, dum-dum. Here, you're wrong again.
>Exactly my point dumbass. People generally don't publicly shame men the way they do to women.
Nah, I remember your point being:
> society just likes to push the blame on women no matter what
Which you then tried to exemplify with the interent smear sites.
Now you're now desperately backpedaling into making your whole point being exclusively 'how they're shamed on the internet' because that's the only way you don't have to recognize how the blame is vented onto male homewreckers (via violence).
You came in saying there are no sites for males that perform that function. You got proven wrong. You then squawked about meaningless modifiers like having a picture attachment, and then got proven wrong again. And now you're trying to readjust your statement after the fact because reality doesn't match up with your arguments.
Shit logic; you lose. Keep embarrassing yourself honey, by all means.
File: 1468784084904.png (86.75 KB, 570x278, playerblock.png)
*Internet smear sites
So first you started derailing by throwing insults thinking I was cheater, now when I pointed out you didn't even read the conversation you start to derail with something else.
> Shit logic; you lose. Keep embarrassing yourself honey, by all means.
Lol is this really the highlight of your day? trying to win "arguments" on lolcow by derailing? Congratulations you 'won' :^).
did you even read the original post? anon didn't fuck the dude, but she was blaming herself because he came onto her while she was drunk & she didn't immediately shut him down.
it's like having another car rear-end yours, but getting blamed for the accident.>>171925
why does this guy not have his own lolcow thread? he inflames my guts with rage.
File: 1469085756021.jpg (93.22 KB, 640x360, cucked.jpg)
Is he a cuckold, or do you not realize how big of a deal infidelity is?