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Did your pet monkey get you pregnant and you had to burn it to death? Get it off your shoulders here!
Previous thread: >>>/ot/1678508
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Calm down noniqua
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Do we know the same freak?
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Unfortunately I don’t actually know if the AI bot that wrote the script for this was male or female coded
Unfortunately I think it's just not a funny joke nonnie
, those videos are really uncanny and disgusting so it just doesn't hit right. I don't think you're a moid for what it's worth kek
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Pretty sure the complaint was that it ain't funny
I'm no expert, but that sounds like a stupid place to work if they can't even be firm with people who harass their coworkers. Maybe job hunt for a better place so you can get away from her?
Sorry you're some autist's new special interest kek. Stay strong, nonna.
I wish I had some sort of mentor to tell me steps to take in my life which would make everything okay. I dont need massive success, I just want to afford to save money for retirement, car repairs, a new bra, a dinner date not even at a fancy restaraunt…I want to feel like I have a solid path to stable yet modest living. I dont know what to do or if I am headed any particular direction at all. Used to be that college degree → job → promotions was the basic path, that isnt the case anymore but I really wish there was a general trajectory that I could follow which would reasonably be expected to yield success….I kinda fucked myself over in my career path maybe, or maybe not, I really dont know. I am stuck where I am for the moment, if I change anything I am doing I will tip the precarious financial balance I have going on into something I dont know if I can handle. I am considering picking up another job, a real basic one, just for some extra cash but I am afraid that my time will get limited to the point my 'real' job (I work for myself) will suffer, and idk if I am willing to give up any progress I have made for myself for a few guaranteed dollars handed to me by corporate. Blerg. That and I am embarrassed because I am older than expected for those types of roles now, and I dont want my family to think I am failing if I tell them I picked up a job stocking shelves or something. Ironically I see a lot of 'older' (not teenager or early 20s) people doing these jobs so I wonder what their stories are…
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>lost mother to religion many years ago (she was always terrible in certain ways but at least she had cool interests – jazz and vampire novels – and wasn't a christfag)
>losing online friends to gendershit/circles so permeated with it that common ground can't be found, 'cause i'm at that point where i just can't handle "queers" (insecure narc heteros)
>irls are normies. stuck in a small town for now so it's either bible thumpers or literal npcs
life sucks. i'm so lonely
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I fucking hate it when someone finds out I’m mixed with Asian and their stupid ass smile gets wiped off their face the moment I mention I’m southeast Asian. Sometimes they say “oh you don’t look that Asian”… Mother fuckers what exactly is making me look less Asian right now vs a few minutes ago when you were all excited that you thought you might of been interacting with your precious irl animu/kpop girl. Like, you are so weird how do you not see that!!
I’m also dating a Korean dude and some people get extremely excited when they hear about that. They act like I won the lottery, like I’m dating someone of royal blood. Like I’m living the fantasy kdrama life. Like no, he plays league of legends in the current year. You want him? Take him. He’s a mamas boy, so have fun with that
Are you talking to these people online? How are they surprised when they see you otherwise? They sound weird
Fetishizing Korean men is weird and those comments sure are retarded but I hope you're good with your bf, anon. Be careful, i read a research that said that %80 or something similar to that of Korean men manipulate and overly control their partners.
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so fucking annoyed, the ONE time i ask my coworker for a favour so we can switch what time we take our lunch breaks next week, it's suddenly a huge hassle. "oh anon i have friday off, i also have to leave early thursday too, oh yeah and I have an appointment this week so it works out better". i don't give a shit about your fishing trip! i don't want to be stuck with 20 minutes to myself every night all next week after commuting home from work because my family will be away so i have to do all of the cooking, cleaning and looking after the pets myself. whenever they ask me to switch or do them some kind of favour I always say yes. such bullshit, next time one of them asks i'm saying no!!!
also picrel is me dropping my mask and looking absolutely pissed off but telling her "it's fine" kek
What happened, nonnie
? Storytime please
No, further East but somewhat close to India. >>1688406
It’s half and half with online interactions and real life interactions. But usually it all comes from people who are in their 20s-30s. I never get comments like that from older people.
Also, not really. He definitely fits that statistic of being controlling and manipulating. I’ve been working on becoming emotionally detached lately.>>1688407
Indian girls are beautiful! India also has a lot of history with my culture and I think their history is a lot of fun to learn about. >>1688408
I didn’t realize until it was too late. We live together now. He always played up this attitude that his mom is annoying him and he’s mr independent. But in the end he was just recruiting me to be his momma. Also yes it can make life hell!! These guys think they can do no wrong because their moms act as if their sweet little boy could possibly do no harm. >>1688417
Blasians have it hard from what I’ve seen, people will straight up deny that you’re Asian. I had one friend who brought her Korean grandmother into work just to prove to people that she isn’t a koreaboo. Also yea, I feel like people view East Asians as the cool Asians and south East Asians as stupid and dirty. That’s how others will start to treat me when they find out what I am.
???? Tell her! Tell her this and then become TERF
buddies! Don't keep that to yourself, that only helps the moid
You can go back to twitter or tumblr if you're just going to mock anons in the vent thread talking about their abusive
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i'll never have sex. my standards are too high, i refuse to have some basic 6/10 scrote huffing and grunting over me. he needs to be hot and perfect and he also needs to fuck like a god. i'm not a prize myself to mass society but i am a prize to me and i will not allow anything less than my perfect prince unironically. i need ai and vr to advance to the point that this is possible
its ok nonnie
i grew up eating canned peas as a treat and the nhs refused to medicate my hashimotos
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I saw these picures earlier. Very nice photography and he is very attractive, but his body in this pic fucking sucks.
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I am scared that i might never reap the fuits of my effort. I don't know for how long i can take being mediocre at everything I do.
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The inverted triangle body is just too strong. He's big on top and little at the bottom like the genie from Aladdin. I think it must be the clothes, I looked up other photos and his body looks fine in them. He also looks different in other photos but what instagram hoe doesn't.
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>>1688652>inverted triangle makes him so hot to me
I know someone who you'll love
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is there a name for something like 'venting culture' cos i'm tired of it. coworkers/acquaintances of my generation will vent about their personal problems to anyone around them, my coworkers will come in sighing and immediately start ranting how they're having a bad mental health day because their mother yelled at them and blah blah, do they not think others also have problems they just don't talk about? on the plus side i love imageboards and am glad to only interact with posts i want to instead of being rude by telling someone i don't have the energy to listen to their endless venting. i'm glad this thread is here for anons who are feeling badly and want to talk about it too. i do feel empathy for people but it's exhausting to hear only bad things every day, i'll probably be friendless forever because of this but that's fine.
jesus christ. im sorry you and your brother had to experience that. i always think of cp as deep web stuff, but its horrible to think that it is actually accessible and someone (kids even) can easily stumble across links to find it >>1688740
i just worry that youtube will keep the channel up for a while since there's nothing explicit. and even then, i know these people are ready with burner accounts to reupload. but… yes, i hope they take it down quickly>dd through mediafire
fucking hell i need some brain bleach
thanks for the replies anons ik its silly but i wish i hadn't seen it
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>one guy told me men are afraid of me
>a couple of people told me I'm attractive
>the only guys that openly hit on me now are uggos and before that, 40 year olds when I was underage
>decent looking guys are nice and I see some signs of attraction in their eyes but they never openly hit on me
I don't know what's the truth anymore. I feel so ugly because of the fact that only uggos hit on me and I never had a boyfriend. I'm too autistic to talk to men so I will never initiate a conversation with anyone. I have one male coworker that is kinda decent looking in my eyes and his girlfriend is uglier than me and she's also fat, other people also think she's ugly, so by using this example as a point of reference, I can assume that I could get someone on his level of attractiveness, if someone like her can have someone like him. And yet, nobody decent looking, around his level, hits on me. By this logic I should be uglier than her, but all the evidence I gained suggests I'm not. I'm so confused and touch-starved I can't cope anymore. I don't even think about sex, I just wish I could be held by some decent looking guy that doesn't disgust me, I don't even dream about anyone handsome anymore… I just wish I could feel, at least once in my life, what it's like to be around a guy that doesn't repulse me and be openly liked by him
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Sometimes I wonder if I'm too much? My boyfriend gives me (almost) daily feet and back rubs, cooks for me 9 out of 10 times, gets me off, listens to me, and gets me everything I want. I send him silly couple IG videos of like "When you move your hand away from your girlfriend for a sec while giving her a back rub and she does a sad face" and the comments are just vile. Calling the GF selfish and asking for a lot. I wonder if his friend ever think of me as someone spoiled and he's a "simp" wtf is a simp, how is he a simp if we're in a relationship.
It doesn't help that when I talk to my girlfriends about what he does for me, their boyfriends don't do those things. Sorry, I'm just thinking too much and I have a bunch of internet brainrot.
It's so dumb because simp is a relatively new slang word and its by definition about a male doing things for a woman he is not
in a relationship with and will never
be in a relationship with. What is he meant to do, then? Just sit around not talking to you?
Or looking for something that will make you happy/content
Anon, chew some gum it’s only 5 calories and you’re probably just wanting to munch or chew something.
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Tradwives, femininity coaches, hyperfemininity, High Value Women™, hot girl this, vanilla girl that… this whole femininity "movement" (for lack of a better word) online is so grossly manufactured. "How to date a wealthy man" "Classy ladies do this, not that" "Get baby botox at 18 because you're an old hag by 25!" "photoshop? no, you're just jealous of my clearly natural 10" waist!" SO FUCKING SICK OF IT. How the hell are we going so backwards?
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thinking about losing weight for promoting my second hand closet shop, and for saving money on food. sadly my face would look very sunken and depressed, skull level scary anorexic type of cheekbones and nasolabial folds. i would look 20 years older. i am not sure if it is worth it. now i feel fine but sometimes insecure when i see skinny people who are pretty. but if i got skinny i would be insecure about my face and thinking about getting botox and fillers. i am afraid i won't get a partner with my body like this, but also afraid of not getting a partner with my face like that. seriously i look sick in the face when skinny. i have the type of sharp bone structure where i could pass as normal weight even if i was obese. which one is even more important for attraction, i don't know. i wish i could pick one and stick with it.
I keep obsessing over other people because they seem to have something that I don't.
Like, someone's funny? I'll become obsessed with them and try to find out why
Someone's happy in their relationship? I'll be obsessed with them and try to find something wrong
Someone's richer than me? I'll try to find faults in their lifestyle
Someone's good at drawing? I envy their talent for expressing themselves
Someon's got a better grade? I'll start wondering what's wrong with me, even if they were ahead by a little
I'm just SICK of this. Why can't I be comfortable in my own skin? Why do I have to envy everything in everyone? I'm just so sick of it : ( it ruins my mood
Not true! Just keep working on bettering yourself (to your OWN standards. Not some moid's) and searching. You don't have to settle, don't reward scrotes for being wankstains. Good job dumping your ex, it sounds like you did the right thing.
Take heart, and good luck with your search for the right nigel, nonna!
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I realized I haven’t had a fully sober day in weeks
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wow,so she really was THAT type of girl, the popular one, had a macbook ,a mac PC and a mid level dslr camera when she was only 14, lives in a house,eats fancy foods, went to parties a lot and seems to enjoy having a drink too, went to trips in Europe every summer and it looks like she's definitely upper middle class
to top it off she has model height and is very pretty and seems to have a sweet personality
sometimes I wish I wouldn't go detective mode, this depresses me and makes me think I have no chance with guys like hers, no matter how much we have in common and how good we click
What?>no change with guys like hers
What? Are you trying to steal a 14 year old girls bf
nta but read again, she said when
the girl was
only 14. easy mistake anon i misread all the time too
we're all adults now nonna, I initially met him and they're now a happy couple, I was curious and out of boredom I did some online digging and found out a lot about her. She grew up quite privileged and very cushy life
curiosity killed the cat, or better yet, made it depressed
Yeah I realized after replying, kek im retarded.>>1689196
Anon please don't compare yourself to others. Her being tall and different looking doesn't mean you're lesser than her and while I understand it made you feel bad, it doesn't mean you're any lesser than her. I'd advise distancing yourself from her bf for your own good, you'll find someone who appreciates you, not having gone to Europe as a teen or having a stupid camera doesn't mean you deserve any less.
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I got my first boyfriend and it's difficult, knowing the truth about men. Thing is, he acts like an angel, his life entirely revolving around me and what he can do for me. He'll act like his sweetheart self as he always does, and then randomly something inside me snaps and I remember his true male nature. I can't stop thinking about the degenerate thoughts he has and the kind of sick shit he'd do if he got away with it (because he's male). When this happens I pull away instantly and can act cold and bitchy for days at a time. He gets so upset when this happens and starts getting worried I'm about to break up or have met someone else. I keep giving him this hot/cold treatment. I have to admit that I'll make up something to argue about during these times so I have an excuse to be mad at him. He'll be confused and stressed because the argument came out of nowhere. I make him anxious, constantly. We've been dating for close to a year and I'm slowly realizing I'm emotionally abusive. I feel bad about it, but then I remember he'd do much worse if he could get away with it and only acts nice because relationship = steady supply of vagina. I feel so conflicted being deeply attracted to, loving, missing, longing for, someone who'd drown me for the chance to fuck a K-pop idol or a VS model. I should keep treating him like shit, no I shouldn't
Not to "not all males" you, but maybe this kind of thinking is putting the cart before the horse. If you haven't witnessed him doing depraved shit, then maybe don't assume he'll do it. It will fuck you up in the head.
The question you should ask yourself is: what are you doing dating someone you're convinced is a monster, just waiting for the opportunity to commit harm? This thought pattern might say more about you than you think.
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Was diagnosed with moderate sleep apnea yesterday. I've always had a regular bmi of around 20 but likely I've apnea for most of my life, I have never felt rested upon waking, start my days yawning and frequently fell asleep during the day. The fatigue has truelly ruined a large part of my life. I want to cope by buying a cute bag for myself. Are Kate Spade bags any good??? Also I'm so fucking pissed this stupid moid on Mercari hasn't shipped my item yet so I gotta wait till I can combine all my items for shipping!!!
Anyway I gotta man up and pack food for a picnic with my bf later and pretend i am not sad
thanks nonna, I needed to hear that. sometimes I feel really discouraged
I think it's for the best that I distance myself a bit from them.
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ever since my gf who i still love left me and cut off all contact in may my fears of abandonment have gotten so much worse. i found a reddit post she made about how she couldn't deal with me because i'm too mentally ill and she was ready to "jump ship if needed." i feel like nobody will ever be able to love me because i'm too much and i'm going to die alone. i also have daily overwhelming anxious thoughts about how our ferrets are doing because there's no way for me to know. they're going to die and i'll never know. i abandoned them. i'm a bad person.
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This won’t end any sooner, seriously, my aunt has to repeat the same things over and over and over and over and over and over again and it’s so tiresome, jesus, just drop the subject already, I know that you know that I hear that she said that you said and he heard that he knows that she knows and we all know about it, I heard! You said it! She said it! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m basically so mentally numb, my brain can’t keep up with all of this shit.
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It's at least 30C in the offices at work but my boss is too cheap to turn the AC back on so we aren't sitting here sweating
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I've started to work towards one huge life decision that I really wanted for the longest time, but it's so nerve wreaking since so many things can go wrong on every step, and it will ruin everything. But if I won't do it now, then it might not happen like ever, with how things are going right now. It really shouldn't have to be this hard and expensive. I'm so stressed out.
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>when your friends used to fight over being your best friend as a kid and now people are just naturally repelled by you without even talking.
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I dont think i could ever live with a moid. What a filthy dirty creature.
I am currently living with my brother-in-law, he's the only man in the house and he is so nasty, I have to clean his filth and if i complain about him being nasty i am the bad person.
Update on >>1686920
my dad called me from a train payphone states away and is begging me to tell the social services that he is legally staying at my house so they will give him money. The police dept already called before he did and I already told them he isn't so idfk what he thinks will happen. Convo went like this
>"Hey do me a favor. the social services are going to call tomorrow and I need you so say "yes" when they ask if I can live there with you.">me remembering all the times he's tried to use legal jargon to manipulate people (thinking he could use this as legal reason to actually force himself into our house) and also all the times he threatened to kill my mom and stepdad>say no, I wont do that for him>"Please, I'm begging, I need to get back into the state, they wont give me money if I don't have a place to stay.">he got evicted from his house for not paying for it and has allegedly been staying with a friend>you literally don't have a place to stay so idfk what you think will happen once you get here>ask him if he still plans on staying with that friend and if he wants me to contact that friend so he can vouch that he is living there>"No.. I don't want to spring this on him… I wont tell him but he'll let me stay when I get back if I show up in person.">so you're ok with lying to social services AND lying to the person you're actually staying with? I literally can't fucking help you>"Please, I'm shaking, I'm going to be homeless, I guess you don't love me, I thought you had a bigger heart, etc etc"
I'm just so sick that everything with him is lies and manipulation. Now I feel guilty because he's making it seem like my fault that he's going to be homeless, not the fact that he never payed off his house, that he chose not to get jobs for multiple years, that he's an alcoholic with multiple DUIs, that everyone else in the family has a restraining order on him, that he spent his last bits of savings on leaving the state without telling anyone so he could threaten to kill his family member, that he's choosing to lie to social services… I'm disgusted that he expects me to get him out of this mess, but I also feel so sad that literally every other person in the world refuses to help him out of this hell of his own making. It's just so pathetic to see a grown ass man act like this. I feel sad imagining him as an old homeless guy but he did this to himself…
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Ask to try topamax I’ve never been less hungry in my life also I wanna go brawl in the streets and then cry about it and then scream at anyone who dares side eye me for crying and chase after them
I'm in the same boat except even older…
It's so inbelievably painful or dare I say traumatizing when you're already depressed, anxious with low self esteem, then force yourself to try and make friends and then get rejected again and again resulting in you feeling even more low… it's simply a vicious cicle that I can't seem to break out of for close to a decade already.
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Lately I've had the blues over missed opportunities in the past. It feels really bad and I keep thinking how many "firsts" and friendships I missed out on by taking the unconventional path. I still like how my life turned out, but I wish I got to experience it anyway.
For reasons I can't say, I couldn't start college when I was supposed to. It was nothing related to my grades, just bureaucracy. I wasn't allowed to go to a real college even though I really wanted to, so I went to trade school instead. It was piss easy, but there was no student life per se and the people I studied with were normies with families who didn't care to make new friends or try new activities, just get the diploma and gtfo. I finished that and started working.
I liked my job a lot and it became my new passion. My boss then asked me if I would like to go to grad school to get a proper education for what I'm doing. I started college and it was a really bittersweet experience.
Despite starting during the pandemic, college was so magical. I loved the campus and atmosphere, I even met my bf there, but I never got to be young and free with the whole world in front of me - make new lifelong friends as a freshman, join clubs, go to parties, etc. I got to try some of that now, but it's just not the same.
I'm not close with my classmates cause I started late, and feel way too old at most student parties so I don't go anymore. I missed the train and now it's no longer fun because I have a whole ass life behind me.
I would've loved to go to college as a teen, paving my own path through life is so lonely. Nobody can ever relate to me. My bf calls me a trailblazer and tries to make me feel better about it but for lack of a better word, I just wish I was the same as everyone else.
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My parents are so psychotic. My dad would constantly cheat on my mom before they were married. And even a little bit after. Now my mom loses her fucking mind when my retarded father stares and smiles at other women and they argue about things like this all the time. I hate living with these two fucking schizos but I have no choice. I’m so jealous that my sisters are comfortable and live away from all this with their bf/husband. But I’m stuck living here and they can’t really help me. My mom also complains about other women just jogging on the sidewalk. Calling them whores who want attention just because they’re wearing tight clothing. She’s also just very judgmental and I avoid being around her like the plague because then she’ll stare at me and point out some flaw.
I feel bad because clearly she has a lot going on especially from all the emotional damage and gaslighting my dad did to her. My dad acts like absolutely nothing is wrong and my mom just cries and vents to me about she wants to divorce him but never does. It’s exhausting. Praying I can get out of here soon. I am so tired of living like this. It is genuinely so depressing.
I just can’t believe that everyone just thinks that I enjoy going to a doctor and listening to long lectures about things that I just know.
And I still can’t believe that they think I have bad habits. Yes I’ve binge eaten before (when I was 12 after getting bullied, and during my last days of internships) but I stopped it.
I workout, I avoid any sugars, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke anything, I have a healthy sleeping schedule, I drink water daily. And I’m still fat because of my issues with Insulin, not because I want to.
So I just can’t believe my aunt told me today that I also have to do something because what have I not been doing?
Like what else should I do? I have to get a bunch of tests and shit done to control my insulin levels, the only way for me to not worry about it is by killing myself. Because I’ve done absolutely everything and everyone still thinks that I’m fat, therefore I never do anything.
I wish I could just die already so everyone stops thinking that everything is my fault.
There’s no food at home? Well, it’s anon’s fault, she’s fat so she has to be eating a lot!
The groceries are expensive? It’s because anon is fat and buys random shit!
There’s no time to do things? It’s because anon is fat and she has to go to the doctors, to a gym or workout at home!
The things I need to do are expensive? Well anon! Why don’t you just stop eating??
Just fuck off, I wish I was dead, seriously, it’s always the same issue all over the time, I can’t even be anorexic or bulimic because then they lecture me about how that’s not how I can lose weight.
If I could get murdered I wouldn’t have to worry about anything, but I guess I’m too fat to be considered a good victim.
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I’m getting really sick of these fucking UFO retards.
>AHHH THERES SOMETHING IN THE SKY ITS ALIENS AHHHHHHHHHHH
Meanwhile it’s just jupiter or saturn and you can barely see it. It’s like a speck of dust in the sky kek. Why not chill out and just enjoy the pretty planets in the beautiful blue sky instead of being hysterical…
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Fucking hate going to the library on campus. I get so pissed the second I hear any sound and everyone in there is so damn retarded that they'll have full ass conversations or eat food while people are trying to fucking work. I wanted to scream when I heard this girl's nails tapping her phone screen.
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Jupiter did not zoom by quickly this morning lol, it sat cutely next to the moon for a little while and then orbited in the opposite direction at the exact same speed! It looked like they were gonna kiss for a sec I loved every minute of it watched the whole thing
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I get that therapists are supposed to challenge your worldview but I genuinely feel like my therapist hates me and/or is convinced that I’m a sociopath. She told me that she thinks I have a “desire to manipulate other people and control their thoughts” and that I’m terrified that people will judge me yet I judge them and do the exact same thing that I hate others for doing. She told me that it seems like I’m making no progress and “every day is like groundhog day.” When I was telling her about the toxic relationship I used to be in I started laughing nervously which I have a habit of doing whenever I bring up something uncomfortable and she started laughing too.
Are you fullblown tism or do you just have some underdeveloped communicative skills for someone your age? Sometimes it’s harder for people to want to engage in or even continue a conversation if it feels underwhelming or predictable. I’m really sorry you’re being avoided nonnie
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My Nigel finally just looked at me and told me he used to wonder if I was misinterpreting things with my family but he thinks they do genuinely dislike me. How it hurts to see me try to have the “close family connection” they all boast about and have with each other. Watching me go out of my way for them while they leave me in the dust. Even in emergencies. How a big part of my recent suicidal breakdown is their treatment. He’s right. He really is.
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Sometimes I feel like my friends aren't accepting of my interests because they genuine think they are normal or my thing, but because they see me as a psychoanalysis paper, and they like to overthink the little things I choose.
>"I picked this chai tea at the store"
>"Well anon, isn't it interesting how you picked such a strong flavor, but from all the brands you still got the one with more sugar, socialization made its works, the tea industry puppetering the store through the shadows"
Dude, I just picked some random tea package to try it out, it's not that deep. Stop being so passive aggressive and buy your own tea then.
i understand you. >>1689532
i've been on antidepressants for some time and they just make me feel really numb. i'm a hermit-crab type of neet so most days i just sit in my room and feel blank, ironically they made me feel more suicidal as i realized i don't really have much going for me. hurt everyone i love, my death would benefit them. i believe this.
not that successful, even using physical health improvement to get that happiness up but it's futile. it all feels futile. the burner email idea sounds nice, i'll like that. maybe in time, thank you nonna.
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My skin is ruined from decades of acne. I started getting acne at 10 years old all over my face and upper body. My mother didn't let me eat dairy substitutes because they were too expensive, so I kept eating dairy products while being allergic and constantly having cysts on my back and pimples on my face and chest. I still get them monthly unless I focus my entire life on constantly doing skincare and dieting (other foods cause breakouts too). It's all fucked because even if I got rid of it, I'd still have all the indented and raised scars on my face, and the red and white marks all over my back and chest. I feel like a failure at womanhood. Most people have nice skin without any blemishes.
I think it's a mixture of both. I know the social rules I need to follow but most seem manipulative and fake to me. I feel like a bad person trying to be like my peers. I'm finally starting to feel comfortable with myself and I don't really feel willing to change for the sake of others, so I'll deal I guess haha>underwhelming or predictable
Oh no haha I'm both of those things. Thank you for your kind words, appreciate you nonna
hello, are you still around? i'm the nonna you replied to>>1689479>>1689862
i don't know what to say but i do want someone to talk to. i have made a burner email, i'll leave it here
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I'm shitting full on blood clots and bright red blood near enough daily and my doctor still won't do anything about it, he said I have an upset stomach because of anxiety and to do breathing exercises?? My stomach hurts, my butthole hurts, I'm anemic from blood loss and feel tired, sick, and cold 24/7, and now I have to take pictures of my poop to show the doctor the next time i go, because he doesn't believe there's blood so my camera roll is filled with shits now
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Once again facing the conundrum of needing to reject men and dreading their reaction.
I started to date a guy who I admit I was mainly attracted to for the money. I somewhat trusted him when I found him on a dating app because we had mutuals, but I realized his appearance was drastically different when we met irl and he used pics from several years ago. He is the textbook definition of an early 20s hot guy hitting the everloving fuck out of "the wall" in his late 20s. Bad teeth, balding, pudgy, but nice cock I guess? His personality is sweet but he is a goof and not in a kind way, in an idiot way where he is unassertive and does not think for his own good. Sure he makes money, but he is always acting tight despite having no debt aside from a car payment and blowing $500 a month on card games. He strikes me as juvenile, his equally immature friends are also man/womanchildren who don't aspire to do anything besides play games and go to Disney once a year and it just isn't for me. He's changing himself for me but all I see in that is a gateway for resentment and not truly wanting the things that I do such as family. I've been through this once and I don't wanna do it again.
He wants to make plans to live together several months into the future but I need a man who can provide now.
I told him I needed to take things slow but ofc he wanted to secure the title with me and already tried to tag me as being in a relationship on socials which I have not reciprocated. I told him on Saturday that I don't see us in a relationship right now, but he's yet to take down those fucking posts and now allllll of his friends are liking them and congratulating him. So won't I just be the cold, heartless bitch when I finally have to get stern and tell this nice guy that it's no dice?
I really don't wanna deal with this fallout but now there's another guy who I adore and is more attractive in spite of not making as much money as me. He always wants to go out and do stuff with me, and even wants to provide a living situation for me. He doesn't spend incredulously on dumb hobbies, wants children, and has introduced me to his family already.
I hate that I have to walk on eggshells and let the other beta down slowly and then deal with the potential tantrum when he finds out he didn't get picked. I wanna be able to tell him something really manipulative so that way he will feel like shit if he even has thoughts of dragging my name through the mud. I hate that I have to be manipulative in order to protect myself, it's just that experience has taught me that men don't handle rejection AT ALL.
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I think I come across as moidy but I honestly am just maladapted. it's making me mad at myself, not the nonas who point it out. I also feel like a lot of us are super combative and protective of this space because we are actually inundated with moids and trannies and all forms of male violence (even online they manage, because male behaviour) that we point fingers too quick.
they have kind of ruined every last space we have? historically and now, in the BIG WONDERFUL FUTURE, THE WORLD AT YOUR FINGERTIPS we still get shoved into these weird fucking ghettos and men in dresses still keep barging in and telling us to get out. I'm fucking so so so fucking sick of them.
I swear it's either a couple of seething troons or some twitterfags mad, it will pass.
any oldfags willing to put their hand up for farmhand? I'm ancient but I don't think I could hack the duties. their job might be easier (again) if it wasn't for moids. I'd say troons and moids but they're same but different flavours. if anything I'd argue the garden variety moid or incel is nowhere near as dangerous as an AGP, who has the societal BIG NOD to let him get his ~barbie bulge~ out in public.
also fuck you to the nona in the MTF thread when I posted new kikomi when it dropped, 1. I'm not her (I wish I had the idea first) 2. reeee everyone is handmaiden then someone does something and you're like "played out, cringe". like the women here need to stop acting and pandering to faggots and all the faggots need to go back to LSA. men steal EVERYTHING
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Had a dream I was in high school again and got raped by some ugly fat moid gym teacher that looked like he came out of a doujin I wanted to kill myself so badly when I woke up
>>1690289the dumbass shit thread, i don't even know why she posted it in there instead of /g/ where it most likely wouldn't have started a fight>>1690295
i don't think it started off as bait either maybe a little with the whole "autists are incapable of love" shit
,not until people told her how retarded she sounded for saying she'd take a bullet for her moid when she doesn't even know if he'd do the same. she kept dragging it out herself too so i don't know why multiple nonnies (unless it's someone samefagging in multiple threads) are rushing to defend her when she's just as bad
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I've been feeling really stressed from work, I am PMSign, feeling generally uncertain and stressed from one life plan that I put all my will and purpose in might not work out after all culminating in me starting to cry at the store when a lady much older than me answered the phone with "hi mom". I want to cease. No weed either. So it's bottoms up I guess.
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>It's some shizoid furry fetish shit
I honestly don't know if I want to do it or not. The pay is equal to one days work at my regular job, but to be honest I'd rather work one more day than draw that shit. I know I sound like an ungrateful lazy pos but I can barely find the motivation and time to create the art I want to make, and forcing myself to draw weird furry fetish stuff really isn't something I want to do.
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Be a cleaning lady in some rich as fuck country and apply for a working visa, learn the language and then try to stay long enough to qualify for citizenship. I've cleaned near every toilet in my city and put up with spoiled retards for years, now I have decent money saved up, a degree, a strong passport and zero fucks to give. Came here with nothing but a hs diploma from a third world shithole.
And if you say that's beneath you as if paying your bills and having an honest job is worse than living under the thumb of a testosterone-poisoned imbecile, I will come to your house and suck on your toes every night while you sleep, maybe tickle them a little. Sweet dreams nonny
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ever since i was a child whenever someone is alone in a room and it gets too quiet i immediately assume they committed suicide or if they go outside for too long i also keep thinking they died somehow. i can't shake off the thoughts and it gets especially bad at night. i've missed sleep many nights irrationally thinking everyone died since primary school. to this day the night terrors haven't stopped. the dread i feel is indescribable and it feels so real, i keep reeling over dots i connect in my head confirming my fears. even if someone is asleep in the same room as me at night i still feel like they're dead and i can never muster up the courage to check because i don't want to face a dead person again even if i try to stare at their torso to make sure that they're still breathing i somehow convince myself that i'm hallucinating the movement i remember when i was younger i cried and pounded at the door while my dad went to the bathroom after an argument with my mom because i thought he was going to hang himself. i can't even pinpoint when this started, i was already like this before i even saw any dead body. i'm so anxious all the time because it takes up a big part of my thoughts. really doesn't help that i do have extremely suicidal family members who i know have attempted before, and that i have been right before. from school to university, out with friends, anywhere i am the thought haunts my conscious incessantly
anon, your words were assuring to me if anything. i can't afford a therapist right now but when i do i'll think of bringing this up. it really messes with my head when i know i'm having those thoughts but the people dying is just so plausible in my situation isolated from the paranoia even after i come down from the looping thoughts, it feels so real and being aware of what's happening is such an exhausting chore but i'm working on it. thank you anon for being kind>>1690542
me too, i don't even want to type what scares me to not manifest it into reality but i lived with old people and i always get scared pale something's happened to them when they don't pick up the phone quick enough or at all. the feeling of helplessness is the worst, i even start thinking about how to deal with the dead already beyond all assumption and it freaks me out because i'm really not prepared at all and even if i was there's little i can actually do from a distance.
There's this guy at my work I really like, but I'm too socially awkward to show it. He's an extremely open, chatty and funny person, a typical Leo if you believe in that stuff kek. The thing is, he can talk a lot with everyone except for me. Even when someone says some dumb shit to him, he always picks up and they start to have an exchange that always lasts at least a minute, it's always more than just two sentences etc. But with me, it's just basically a few words exchange and then there's silence. It's always awkward. He's also not as humorous as with others, and he almost doesn't talk. Others talk to me normally. There's no difference between how others talk between each other and how they talk to me. Only this one guy talks to me differenly than he talks to others. From others I know he has a pretty good opinion about me, but maybe he just doesn't like me personally, and that good opinion is just about my work ethicts or something related? People tell me I'm farily attractive so I don't think it's because I'm ugly and he just can't bear to look at me. Also when there's me, him and somebody else, he looks at that person he talks to, but when he talks to me, he basically doesn't look at me. Maybe gives me one glance for a second and then he stares in a different direction all the time, even though he still talks to me. What's wrong with me? Can somebody explain this?
Idk, if he left only you out that would be quite rude and kinda sus
, I get why he'd invite you, people would ask questions otherwise. From your description I get the vibe that he's trying to keep it professional.
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Not really sure how men expect women not to become muh scary femcel blackpill misandrist kill all men doomer zoomer peepeepoomer when they propagate shit like this. Either it's one of many negging bullshit posts to keep women on their toes (the OP seems like a pickme), or it's true, likely because men are brainrotted from porn and other media (or there's just something in their ape brains that makes them permanently dissatisfied with any woman). Maybe all OSA women really do have to be delusional to ever be with a man, and I should just be glad I was born at a time where all the stupidity is being peeled back and there's less gaslighting. I don't know anymore.
I'm an only child so I know all of my parents valuables are being left for me to inherit. I don't really care for much of it, but I guess I could sell that shit off or keep some for sentimental value (some expensive watches and jewelry). My cousin, who's been living with us to go to university here, said my dad told him he'd be getting a few things too. None of the jewelry or watches mean much to me, but I'm mad at the thought of it anyway because my cousin is fucking useless around the house and I know my extended relatives wouldn't even think of extending me the same thing. His family is well off enough in their home country, but even though my family is doing them a "favor" by helping him come over to study and providing a place for him to stay, etc, I know they would never offer me anything. It's just the principle of it, yknow? I have always thought that my dad is too generous to my extended relatives, because we live in the U.S. and they live back in southeast asia, so they're "poorer" than us. Never mind that they live in luxury apartments/literal mansions. We live in the "rich" country, so we're "rich" and therefore we should continue to buy things for them and send them home. And what do we buy for them? Gum and chocolates and luxury bags. "Nona! It's so much more expensive there because of the currency exchange!" Ok? And? It's not like not owning an LV bag is going to make or break their lives. I'd have significantly more sympathy and understanding if they were actually in need, but no, they just literally want luxury goods lol. We could become homeless and I know they wouldn't do shit for us.
I don't want any of them to be given a single thing just out of pure spite. They have never done anything for my family except take, take, take. I spit on all of them.
I wasn't involved in this infight and have no clue what everyone is talking about but>also fuck you to the nona in the MTF thread when I posted new kikomi when it dropped, 1. I'm not her
Kek, I was going to post a kikomi drawing once but decided not too because I thought I'd get accused of being her, same with a Sillypoo youtube vid
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found out my bf's ex is a decently successful model in korea and not only is she very pretty she's also almost my complete opposite in terms of looks and looks the way i sometimes wish i did. the only upside is that she is a (diagnosed) bippie so hopefully the thought of bf dating a much uglier girl after her would make her seethe like boiling milk.
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my left earbud broke completely now everything i listen to sounds like SHIT AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
lmao you may be my friend tbh
Thank you, that actually makes me feel better to know she was just probably bored and didn't mean any harm
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i NEED to get railed this evening
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Started studying fullstack web development two weeks ago, and I'm starting to panic. People are already starting to form groups and I don't fit in with any of them even if I can chit-chat with most of them (the only girl I clicked with seem to have dropped out), and some people are already building complex codes and websites while I'm still struggling to wrap my head around all the different functions of flexbox and how to use it, and today we were also introduced to grid which I'm having a really hard time with. I'm not going to quit and trying to give myself more of a chance, but fuck do I feel like a bloody idiot.
i mean honest to god if it just ended at their pronouns i would be okay with that. but to even believe in gender it seems you must also alter your world view to a point where things like "wakashu" are not evidence of pedophilia but beautiful proof of how """"poc
"""" cultures had no strict gender roles and were totally accepting of fluid identities or whatever before the White Man came and told them what a man and a woman was. oh and you can't ask them to identify a woman's place back then (or question them if women were also allowed to have fluid genders or w/e) without being seen as an ebil terf
and subsequently grey-rocked/frozen out of discussion.
absolutely exhausted i hope every weird pronoun user kills themselves. i just dgaf anymore you are all so retarded it pisses me off irl
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I'm crocheting in a continious round and I took the stitch marker out of my current round (by accident) so now I can't tell where the first stitch is. And I can't really frog because I made a lot of joins to add new colors.
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Wondering how much of my retardation is inborn and how much is from the trauma that was my childhood. I used to think it was more from the abuse but my siblings grew up the same as me aside from being molested and they all turned, well maybe not well adjusted but at least more functioning and capable than me, kind of makes me believe maybe I was always just naturally retarded, the abuse probably just exacerbated that. I just want to be normal. It’s awful and embarrassing being second eldest but still living at home because I’m too incompetent to leave. I honestly feel like I would just end up homeless, since I don’t have a good relationship with my family and would absolutely not come back once I leave. I feel like I don’t even know how to be a human, no one taught me. I want to vanish.
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I'm highly attracted to shorter wimpy bisexual men with sociopathic tendencies and obvious issues
I don't want to be. It's not good for me
so, i've been cosplaying for a while, and while i understand its an expensive hobby (granted, it seriously doesn't have to be if you're super resourceful) i'm so sick and tired of finding out my friends are like, either super rich themselves or have super rich parents. i feel like i cannot relate to people at all, the ones who are buying a bunch of alcohol, fancy dinners, and dealers room shit at every con, while i'm here budgeting exactly how much i can spend. most of the reason im even on this site is to complain about rich people who don't contribute to society in even the most basic ways. I don't care about being labeled a jealous hater when my family struggles to pay rent. I also don't think it's fair to say I should just give up my hobby because of it. I go to cons dirt cheap as long as I work the convention. I don't know. Like, indulging in expensive shit isn't really a requirement, is it?
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I slipped up and mentioned a serial killer around this moid who has ASPD and he asked me who the serial killer was and now he’s been obsessively researching him. Pray for me nonnas
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just got home from an earthquake. never been in one before and i honestly felt like my life was about to end the feeling of helplessness is unlike any other the imminent death felt so real all i could do is honestly pray. people died. i'm honestly just mad at the people responsible for our infrastructure lives were taken because of their incompetence and it isn't fair. thankfully though i was in a safer zone than those i just mentioned. when i knew i was okay the first thing i did was text my friend if she was okay. it literally felt unreal i thought i was having the shakes until my door and dishes started slamming violently and i felt catatonic with fear until i heard my neighbors in my building leave en mass outside. seriously so scary. i can't even imagine what the people that died were thinking in their last moments and the fear they felt. i don't know if i can sleep. the news said the second waves of earthquakes are going to be imperceptible but i'm still too frightened to go to sleep. it wasn't the worst earthquake in the world but it was the worst one of my life and that's enough for me. my heart is still pounding so hard
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once again, I fucking hate retarded people.
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Oh my god nonnie
, I'm so glad you're okay. Those poor people.
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thank you anon, let's see some better days
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Could rally use a big thing of gatorade rn
Wtf I hope he leaves you alone and dies.>>1691791
I’m sorry, I’m glad you’re ok. That sounds so terrifying. >>1691840
Same, sometimes watching funny things can help in my experience, idk why
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I thought maybe they had deleted bait but no, it was totally innocuous month old posts? What the fuck is going on? Farmhands stop being retarded challenge
Ahh, okay I get you>>1691927
Oh I wasn't there for those, I was heavily under the belief the site was infested with trannies at the time but I'm not so sure that's the truth anymore.
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There's a wood pigeon that keeps coming in my garden to eat bird seed. It looks so plump and tender, I want to catch it and put it in a pot roast.>>1691921
On IBs it's possible for mods to delete and ban posts by IP or even IP range depending the IB software. Maybe there was so much shitposting from one IP that the farmhand decided that it was worth it to delete the posts by IP instead of doing it manually. The problem with this is that if it's a VPN or a dynamic IP other people using that VPN or in the range of the dynamic IP will get their posts deleted and seemingly innocent posts made by the person that the farmhand intended to ban will also be removed.
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I am in a really not good living situation. It sucks bad and may even be dangerous but I've got no other options. I can't afford to live on my own and I'm not a career Stacy, I work minimum wage, I'm probably going to be stuck here until I'm 40. It's my mom's house. I'd been living with my boyfriend for the last year, I loved it, I only started living there because there was no room for 4 people in the two bedroom apartment my mom rents and since I was unemployed,focusing on school, it just made sense for me to be the one to leave for the time being. So my mom, my brother, and my sister lived together while I stayed at my boyfriend's house. At first I didn't like living with my boyfriend, his house is very different from mine, but then I loved it. I could leave the bedroom and nobody would try and fight me or anything, nobody would chastise me. It was so nice, I love my mom very much, she's never mean to me or anything the problem is my little brother. Where do I start? So my sister had a seizure a while back which made her disabled, she lost a lot of her independence. She ended having to hop houses until she ended up living with my auntie for a few years. My aunt is a kind woman but sadly never had any kids, because of that she's very attached to her ex husbands son. She loves him very much and takes good care of him but this guy, very obviously does not really feel the same love. He takes advantage of her kindness and is just generally a bum. We'll call this pseudo son of my Aunt's "Cory". Cory and my sister,"Tilly", lived together at my aunt's house. Apparently tension was building with them which became very obvious when I went over there and my mom ditched me. They seemed so uncomfortable, especially uncomfortable with the fact that I was there. Later my sister called my mom with some wild news. Apparently she and Cory had done drugs, provided by him, under our Auntie's roof, (cocaine to be specific) and then Cory raped her. Which was traumatic to say the least. She was still in diapers at this point and he still raped her. She had very limited mobility as well. Tilly had been keeping this a secret and didn't want to say anything for fear that Auntie would lash out. Our mom told Tilly not to say anything until she was able to secure a new apartment but Tilly couldn't take it anymore. She told my aunt causing my aunt to lose it, at first it seemed like she was going to be reasonable about it but then she started very obviously acting in favor of Cory, villainizing and bullying Tilly, yelling at her for leaving cups on the counter, even taking off her door. My sister couldn't stand the bullying and my mom was getting pretty pissed with our aunt so she moved Tilly in with us. This whole drama had a ripple effect,tearing the family apart, nothing has been the same ever since then. Anyway with my sister moving in there were 4 of us and it was only a 2 bedroom. My mom slept on the couch, my sister slept in my room, and nothing changed for my little brother, Ray, he still had his own space and stuff but he was the angriest about the change in the living situation,lashing out at either me or Tilly constantly, it was extremely stressful so I left because i couldn't take it anymore. He'd always been like this since he was 14, he's 19 now. But the stress in the apartment made my fucking heart palpitate. My sister is sweet but was constantly engaging him, going back and forth with him , even going out of her way to call him out when he did stuff that was rude. I think at some point I learned to put my head down and weasel my ways out of his mood swings and stuff but she wasn't having it. Anyway,expenses were going up in the household, everyone else was working but I was still in school trying to get my HSD (I'm 21). I became another mouth to feed so my mom asked me if I could find another place to stay, just for a little while. This really saddened me at first, I didn't want to leave but my boyfriend offered for me to stay with him which works because we'd lived together for a bit when we had covid and it went well. While living with my boyfriend I came by to visit the apartment here and there. I realized how much healthier my life was becoming away from the apartment but whenever I came home the reality of what I'd be coming back to was always staring me in the face. Me and my sister were sitting on the couch and my little brother walked into the room, he came in and immediately started chastising everyone, we ignored him until he started accusing us of laughing at him. Everyone was sitting there straight faced. It only escalated, he started calling us slurs, threatening to kick our asses and stuff, it was really weird, he was so aggressive really suddenly. My mom had to hold him back and physically wrestle him outside as he screamed about us laughing at him or some wacky shit. Then when my mom got him outside he punched a wall causing his fist to bleed and started threatening to kill himself. My mom took him to the store with her to get him to cool down, apparently when he was there he ran off and she couldn't find him, when she found him he continued to threaten to kill himself. That is the one time my mom seemed freaked out enough to consider getting my little brother checked out mentally. She didn't. I'd been telling her he needed help WAY before that and she would get genuinely pissed off and the one time she was afraid for his mental health too,it passed, and she went right back to ignoring it. I'm so tired. I can't exaggerate how tired I have become. Ray eventually stopped threatening to kill himself but started threatening to kill me and Tilly. When Tilly moved out I had one person who understood and didn't downplay how extreme Ray's behavior was. One time I brought a kitten into the house and everyone was having fun, it was a very cute cat. Ray came in and I asked him if he wanted to meet the kitten. He got all mad and said "Get that dirty cat out of here." I got annoyed because what the fuck was his problem? So I ignored him and went back to playing with my cat and the rest of the family. I went into my room to get some food for the cat, I had treats in my drawer and he was in there. this annoyed me because I never go into his room even when he's not there because I don't want anything to do with him but also out of basic respect for boundaries. He was in there and when I asked him very politely if he needed anything and why he was in there he responded "Shut up,bitch." Of course I got angry and asked him why he would say that and of course he started threatening to put his hands on me and started getting in my face. This was fully just petty shit over me having the nerve to show him a kitten I guess? Even though he likes cats? I got angry enough that I went back into the kitchen and grabbed a knife because he's bigger than me, and if he put his hands on me he was getting cut. He talked all of the shit he could from behind my mom and I still had no idea why the fuck he was trying so hard to upset me. I went back home with my boyfriend that night and began dreading having to go back there. I personally think my little brother inherited NPD from his father, my mom always complains about how Ray acts just like his dad and his dad had every NPD trait in the book…Ray does too. Anyway a few weeks ago my sister moved out and I finally moved back in, it's my first night back here, I'm not happy about it but my boyfriend can't have me at his house anymore because we're always directly under each other and only have one bedroom which is just too intense for him.
I truly hate how uncomfortable and scary it is to be around him and there is nothing I can do to escape it, I'm stressed and I feel like im gonna lose it. I wish I could really convey what it's like to have a unhinged narcissist around all of the time but I feel like I've blocked out a lot of the stuff he's done that was especially outrageous.
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I wasn’t supposed to drink, but my friends asked to come over and now I’m hung over again smoking weed because I feel sick, for the second time this week
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just found out someone i've been friends with for 7 years or something like that is not only a degenerate coomer (knew this) but also a femboy lover
Disgusted. I don't even want to be friends with him at this point.
If you asked me two weeks ago who my best friend was it would've been between this guy and another, but now it's easy.
She sounds pretty NPD to me.
I don't waste my time with that kind of people, but if you want to help her, you can go with her to seek a therapist that can help her with all those insecurities.
Thank you nonnie
, sometimes I'm genuinely afraid of what he might do, but it makes me want to try harder to graduate get a good degree and put my mom somewhere safe so everyone can cut him off and be done!
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I just want a job and have some money again. I want to get a haircut so it looks nice. I want to buy new clothes that aren't 3 sizes too big and have holes in them. I want to go to museums. I want to travel and see my family and friends again. I want to be able to buy my new nephews and nieces christmas presents and be the cool aunt, but all of this relies on me getting a job. Worst part is that I almost had it all, after six months of part time I was promised full time with a pay rise before summer, but then the company fucked themselves over and fired me and several others to save money with a "sorry we gave you false promises, take care". I am so defeated and sad and I keep sending applications and trying to make connections, but no one calls me back. No one replies. It's like I keep throwing my applications at a brick wall, but the brick wall has a big sign saying "fuck you" all over it. I just want to ball up and cry every day. I can't take this feeling of failure anymore. It's been years of struggling and things have only gotten worse the harder I try.
My advice would be escaping your mom as soon as possible, and pretending you're an autist wrt your lack of social skills. Then look up advice on how to build those skills similarly, and go from there.
I'm sorry you were forced into a caretaker role at such an early age, nonna. I hope you can get away from your mom soon.
Lol are you for real? Dude pays a prostitute and when he can't get it up he claims she "raped" him, offending rape victims
Nice partner you've got there. Such a catch!
I’m already so tired, graduating isn’t easy, I should’ve listened to my parents and checked out if I have all of the papers a month ago. But then again, I was too busy helping my aunt woth my uncle that has cancer, and no one ever offers me a ride for stuff that I need to do, and no one likes it when I go out without supervision.
My family definitely believes I’m retarded instead of just socially awkward because of my aspergers.
Now my aunt keeps telling me that I don’t have all of the documents I need to give to the uni, but how? Like, I really doubt a university will accept a student with only an ID card and two ID sized pictures.
Like, how could they accept a student without certified grades, without this document that says that you’re part of the population of students that are trying to get in an university, and without the certified high school degree??
It literally makes no sense, I simply couldn’t have been allowed without them, and yeah, I sent them the copies because I won’t fucking send my original documents by mail.
So why is my aunt telling me that I don’t have them now? Why is the system telling me that my data doesn’t exist? I don’t get it and I want to die.
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i’m in the middle of my period and I keep craving food and ordering it and then cancelling the order before it comes kek idek what to do
Average male rape "victim
I'd really like to play a game to relax, but video games are so hard to break into. Mobile games are designed to be addictive and keep you coming back spending 5 hours a day playing, which I can't because I'm an adult with a life. the last one i tried (genshin) it was so difficult to exit the fucking game, i was swiping and pressing buttons and nothing worked to escape it. Console games require you to buy the game itself plus an entire console, and I guess a TV to use as a monitor, so you have to keep all this crap for it in your apartment, and even if you buy it? by the time the next game you actually want to play comes out, that console you bought will be obsolete and you'll have to buy a new one to play the next game on. So you just keep spending money and accumulating a bunch of crap to clutter up your dwelling space.
Computer games require a trillion dollar gayming rig and suck up enough electricity that it would be cheaper to take a carribbean vacation by that point, then you have to have a whole giant desk and a bunch of gear and a gayming chair and all this. I'm really sick of how much of a moneygrab it is. I used to have minecraft on my laptop, although it never actually ran well on it, but it would take 20 minutes to load, by which time the urge to play has already passed, and now it doesn't work on my computer at all and the tech help just shrugged his shoulders and denied me a refund.
I feel like you can't possibly play video games unless you're some kind of trust fund kid with a huge house and thousands of dollars to throw in the trash.
I do this too sometimes nonnie
. My brain drifts to the worst possible scenarios like “what it _____ died?” and then I get worked up about it like it actually happened. Hate it.
not to be autistic but you can get a gaming laptop for a few hundred, maybe $1k at HIGH MOST or get a used one and literally pirate everything and emulate
you don’t need a special chair that’s silly
you can get a good keyboard for $30, mouse even cheaper
or buy a used switch/3ds and hack
never ever pay full price for a game!!!!
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Nonas I'm so bummed and mad right now. Sorry this is a long post.
Yesterday my best friend from HS (we are in our mid-30s) hit me up that she was going to be in town today before an event she was going to at 5pm, asked if I wanted to meet up. Of course, I haven't actually had a chance to see her in a while, she lives about 45 mins away so its not that bad but the gas is insane right now and she always has to care for family members nowadays.
But I was stoked she was going to be in town.
Anyway I called her today around 1, she said she'd let me know when she was on her way, ok, cool.
THEN she texts me around 2pm, and casually drops in, "oh btw I'm meeting up with (insane, alcoholic pickme I can't stand to be around but who my friend is friends with for some unknown reason, they used to drink together before my friend got sober) downtown before the event, and btw she's coming too, we already made plans, let me know if you wanna meet downtown with us."
So I bailed out, using my cluttered house as an excuse (clearing out a storage unit right now so things are chaotic) but Nonas, I feel like I'm the problem? Since I always bail when that hot mess bitch is invited, she's a proper lolcow in her own right, recently changed her name from a basic Becky name to some ~mystical empath hippie crystal woman~ shit and I just, like… can't fucking stand her. Last time I saw her she was blackout drunk and tried to kiss me in front of her then-boyfriend, who was like 15 years older, and his toddler child lmao. Just a mess.
But she's mutuals with my other friends from HS still and idk, I'm just mad. And of course if I complain directly I'll be the one with the problem. Am I just too autistic? What the fuck. Why does this happen.
It's not the first time either, I stopped talking to another friend I'd had for 20 plus years because she would constantly blow me off and ignore my texts and instead hang out with this other pickme girl who posts lingerie pics on her IG and doesn't know who her baby's father is, the same baby she dumped onto her parents to care for.
Like, I love my actual friends, but I end up losing out on them because I can't or won't tolerate being around psycho lolcow-tier pickmes? I'm not even exaggerating to make them sound bad, in fact I'm easily identifiable if anyone involved sees this post. But I don't care.
I'm just feeling really betrayed cause I feel like my friend totally buried the lede on today's plans because she fucking KNOWS I don't like drunk girl. Not even that I don't like her, but her behavior is embarrassing and makes me uncomfortable. I was pretty cringe in HS, I will own it, I was a cringe fujo, blatant edgelord autist, but like, that's a long ass time ago now and most of us aren't like that anymore.
Ugh I hate people and I'm always the problem I guess.
Agreed, it's all marketing and hype. Don't eat garbage, don't smoke, all you need is a little spf and good habits, not $900 baby foreskin moisturizer. Clinique works fine.
The second part of your post is too true though, like I hate how botox and fillers are considered the bare minimum these days. But at least those make a noticeable difference, unlike the $80 rose extract baby seal tears undereye cream.
stop hating this is insane coming from a one piece fan, baby’s first anime it was literally on 4kids
t. loves jjk
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that’s just twitter and fujos for you, none of which should be interacted with
which is weird though, because twitter loves OP, it’s probably just complete non-anime normies enjoying the OPLA
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You can make it in nonnie
, I believe in you!
I got my driver's license three months ago. It took me so much time and I spent so much money because I had the biggest phobia. That’s why I got it now that I’m 32. It took me lots of courage and mental strength because I was petrified about the idea of me driving.
Since the first moment that I started to study, my boyfriend didn’t make a positive comment about it. All he kept repeating me was how useless I am, how a menace I would be.
I actually passed my last examen at the second try and it went pretty well.
Half and hour before I had to take the exam, he got mad at me because he told me I wasn’t listening to him (I was scared shitless at this point, I interrupted him because he was reminding me a mistake that I did when I had taken just three classes, I did more than 50), I tried to tell him that reminding me how I fucked up eight months before wasn’t helping, but he just…exploded. He told me how someone like me shouldn’t drive in first place and that if I was so nervous, I shouldn’t be taking that exam because he was 100% sure I would fail and also kill someone.
I went to my exam -with the worst stomachache ever-, almost crying and trembling but I still passed.
When I went home and told him that it went well, he didn’t even talked to me. When I knew I passed, all he said was “okay”. Not even a congratulations. Nothing. For weeks I had to lie every time someone asked me if he was happy for me, reminding how cruel he was in a moment when I needed him the most.
Three months later, I drive almost everyday and I feel so proud of myself because I know it’s not something special but to me it means the world. Today I came home and I tried to explain him that it was the first time that I felt truly happy and accomplished about me driving because I had a pretty good afternoon. He didn’t even look at me when I was talking. At some point, he just scoffed and told me that this isn’t something special, that having a drivers license is nothing, that I waste so many years of my life without having it.
>so do you think you’re special? You’re not! So you drive now and what? you should have had it a long time ago, you’re only 10 years later, wow!
And I know it’s not something that important, getting it, but people is always asking me if he’s happy for me (as he should be) and I lie because I don’t know how to even explain that my partner is not only not proud of me, he seems embarrassed of having someone like me in his life…he always makes me feel as if I’m nothing, as if I’m just a nuisance
I agree with nonna >>1692775
Get out of there and leave him. I got my licence with 18 and never drove since (I'm also in my 30s) because I have trauma from my parents and public transport is nice where I live. I understand how you are feeling, how proud you are of yourself and how proud you should be. Having a licence and driving isn't just "nothing", it's a big deal for people like us and your boyfriend sounds like a guy who doesn't support you and belittles you at every possibility. There are better men out there, don't waste more time with him. Be proud of yourself, maybe go on a road trip now, your boyfriend will never change and it's not healthy to be in a relationship with someone that makes you feel worthless and like nothing, you deserve way better.
Your boyfriend is emotionally abusive
from what it sounds like. I agree with the other anons. Leave him. And be proud of yourself for such an accomplishment even though you were nervous/afraid! I’m proud of you!!
Holy shit anon, it really sounds like you’re not realizing just how absolutely abnormal and destructive the things he says truly are. If he loved you, he’d be happy for you, not put you down.
I’m proud of you, look at how far you’ve come, even despite all of the fear and anxiety you had. You deserve someone to cheer for you, this clearly means a lot to you and I’m so happy that you’ve accomplished it.
I know that I really shouldn't for my own well being, but I stalk my ex and his new gf on Twitter like once a week because she's become my new personal cow and I'm hoping his new relationship ends really badly.
He cheated on me a lot, got addicted to porn, was frequently watching and obsessing over camgirls, sexted with a tranny, and then started wanting to troon out himself. He's now dating a girl 5 years younger than him that has the femcel phenotype, hates trannies, rages at sex workers on Twitter (despite apparently considering joining OnlyFans a few months ago herself), is super misognyistic herself, and overall just seems really cringy and chronically online. I secretly love knowing that if she knew the truth about him, she would absolutely despise him because of all the tranny stuff and the camgirl watching.
I'm in a relationship myself though that is going very well, and I'm so happy. So I definitely should stop keeping up with what either of them do. I'm just mad that he's happy when he doesn't deserve it, he did terrible things to me and he deserves to be miserable forever
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I’m depressed because I don’t go out, but I don’t go out because I’m depressed. I’ve been okay with being by myself for six or so years but I think loneliness is really catching up to me now and kicking my ass. I don’t know if I can change….or even if I want to? I just don’t know
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i just want a normal ass fanfic without the stupid mental illness. i havent read fanfics in 10 years and i want to read one because stupid vampire but it's so filled with troonshit and other zoomer shit
You are seriously amazing, nonnie
. Give yourself credit. You did something you were absolutely terrified of and you conquered it anyway. Do you know how many people just give up on things they want to do because it's difficult and anxiety-inducing? And you had a full blown PHOBIA, not even just a little bit of anxiety. That is something to be proud of, not ashamed of!
Also, your boyfriend is straight up evil. If anyone should be ashamed it's him. I hope you realize he is acting out of malice, not just ignorance, and get your ass out of there.
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>sibling is hikki through and through
>one day just stops talking to family (including me)
>literally ignores whatever I say, goes back to their room almost instant they see me entering the same room where they are
>about five years go by of them just sitting on computer in their room
>I happen to cry about it to my counselor, she assures that the social workers could help
>the social workers help my sibling find a job and apartment near it
>troons out the second they move out (spent years only talking to people on discord and such, I know shocking)
>starts talking to family again and going outside
>says things like "I hear you still mope in your room" and stuff that sound as if they just one day decided to move out
>never addresses years spent not talking, three years of those were during the pandemic/lockdown when I had to be in the same house as them 24/7
>probably never even thinks how I felt as a messed up teenager to lose older sibling who I used to talk with daily
>parents complain that I don't want to spend time with said sibling or show interest in their life
>constantly talking about how great it is that they're doing so fine now, ignoring my needs or problems (I guess because the one in neetdom was always the priority and the one who they tried to figure out how to help?)
I think I'm just going to leave far away since the money isn't problem, I feel like I have always jut performed to these people to keep them happy. I have tried expressing these things to them before.
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My older sister is a whole entire fucking child and the family just lets her get away with it. She’s literally 20 and she’s still got it figured out that she can just scream (and I mean genuinely scream) at me and my 11 year old brother until our parents intervene and tell us to stop ‘upsetting’ her (we weren’t, and we never raise our voices or deliberately upset her.) She’s just got it in her head that’s she’s somehow always a victim of someone and that everyone in her life is out to get her. One example was her ranting that I supposedly felt that I was ‘so much better than her’ (okay) for not knowing about the name of a specific cocktail (because I don’t drink) whilst she has a shitty grip on her alcoholism issues whilst at uni. Best part of her most recent retarded rambling was polishing off the speech by screeching at me to get a job. Me, who’s doing a law degree. When she’s never worked a day in her life and is one year out from graduating out an English degree. I simply had to laugh. And of course, I was the one who got dragged for it.
quite inspiring. i'm 21 and can't drive, do have my learners but that was all theory- big anxiety to actually get myself on the road but this gives me hope and i'm proud of you, it's never too late to achieve anything.
as for your boyfriend, you should not have to put up with that. everyone experiences life at their own pace and to put you down for that is emotional and mental abuse. spite. surround yourself with people who will celebrate what you've done and appreciate you for who you are. he does not deserve you.
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tfw my airways are inflamed and I can't practice the french horn
I'm sorry nonna. Growing up with an older sibling who makes you walk on egghshells all the time is the worst, and it's even worse when your parents are enabling that behavior. The worst is that they will keep seeing themselves as the victim
even when you grow up, in your eyes you always "bullied" them.
>>1693590>just be a lumberjack, sis
because that's reasonable. nta. most non-city jobs are either minimum wage or for scrotes, because they are brute strength wage gorillas. remember those alaskan crabbing shows? how many of the workers were women? there's a reason women in bojunkle towns all get married at 19.>>1693597
charge the battery.
i need help seriously. I am hoard/consooom anon, but I want to have nice things, I’m kinda a weeb, so I have lolita and jfashion clothes that I have never worn, because I am fat and ugly, normie clothes that I dont wear because i am fat and ugly, i have anime figures that I recently started to massively buy because just now at 30 i have money, and I buy artbooks and such, and manga, but I have mo space for them. I also have a collection of videogames. My biggest thing is that I have been fat and ugly to do anything. I understand now that I don’t need any of the things I have wasted my money on because of it. But I want to hold to it still. But I dont have space. I am so conflicted, what do I do? I dont want to let go of it. I also have a hoard of mail, mostly bills and debts. I am going to trash them, who cares if they contain important info, that’s good right? I was originally gonna post in stupidquestions but, it’s not appropriate. I need help or advice, especially from anons who might have gone through the same. I am a retard 30 yo womanchild who still lives with parents and probably forever will. Because I am too stupid to live on my own. I can’t be the only one like this, right?
watch some of those hoarder shows and get therapy before you are too far gone. >I can't be the only one like this, right?
There are plenty of other mentally ill people, don't worry, nonna. TLC will show you others like you.
My stupid question was turning into a vent so I'm here to talk about my sister, I know we had a shit emotionally abusive dad and an absent mother but I find her to be so sociopathic, especially now that we're fully grown up adults. She didn't beat me up but she would throw huge bricks at my fucking head, for no reason, maybe I accidentally kicked some sand that touched her shin, that would be enough to warrant a whole ass brick thrown at my head at 5yo, I remember it being before I started school so had to be 5 at most. She never showed any interest in our pets, surprisingly she didn't harm them but she never fed them or brushed them, but she would do this whole "I LOVE animals, I love my family" to anyone who would listen, even as a kid I wondered if she knew how deranged that seemed to the people who had seen her at our place. She would either ignore me or physically and emotionally batter me, I have huge ass scars on my arms because she would claw at me just for passing her by too loudly, she burned my hair due to what I can guess to be jealousy because as a kid I had very different type of hair than she did. Now she has awful anger issues, she has pets she never takes care of, no pet she has ever been around has enjoyed her company, her husband takes care of the animals and they seem fine but she does the same with her kids. I go around to take them to the park or for a sleepover, ask what cereal they like so I can get the right kind and she says she doesn't know what they eat, doesn't recognise names when I say we bumped into her kid's best friend on the way over here, doesn't know their favorite shows or even colors. She keeps taking photos of them, posting them doing the exact same shit she did as a 10 year old, I love my family, my pets, they are my world and they love me too! ask me a thing about them and I cannot answer and will seem bored and not notice how people look at me like I am weird. I genuinely, wholeheartedly think there's something missing in her, I know our dad was an awful asshole but he always focused on bullying me, but maybe he managed to do something awful to my sister before I was born that manifested this way I don't fucking know, but it's disturbing. It's fucking chilling, how the fuck do you have kids and pets who never wanna be around you yet you keep on this facade that no one believes in because it's so clear, not even subtle, how the fuck do I as an aunt who lives quite far away know the kids' friends parents names and she doesn't know what fucking cereal they like? Yeah because you don't even feed them, like ever. She has broken her own fingers "slapping" her husband, gotten into trouble with every boss or supervisor, she always gets bullied at work and I just can't help thinking she is always the problem because she was fucked up from the get go, and at this point it's her responsibility to take care of her mental health. She also has diagnoses she refuse to seek medication or therapy for, god knows why but it's creepy to see this seemingly very motherly and well put together woman be so, I don't fucking know, dead on the inside? This was a lot but stuff happened today and it made realise she was never normal.
sigh. here we go. I wouldn't have a problem with abortion if you libshits stopped pretending it's anything other than fucked up. yes, you are terminating you're child. you are killing it. admit that fact and move the fuck on and stop trying to rebrand it as this thing that is totes ok and totally normal!
Kill you're child in peace and don't say a word about it. no one needs an enlightened social media post about you killing you're child.(infighting/derailing)
Never understood women who love to pretend abortion is barely legalized murder we all tearfully tolerate. "Murder is justified sometimes except when it's not and I know best when it isn't because I'm better than those sluts who rack up abortions like xbox achievements" yes, yes, those pesky no good women who don't fall to the floor traumatized should be forced to go through births because they didn't really
need the abortion, you're right.
Also gotta kek at "you're killing your child" that's a fetus. Doesn't even know what where it is, and they miscarry all the dang time. I guess we're all murderers, here.>>1693865
I wish the internet was widespread when you were gestating. We could have framed your mom's celebratory abortion announcement.
I have so much bullshit itll take days to sift through so much paper , but ill try thanks nonna>>1693641
Thanks nonna for your comment, and I feel this. I get so depressed looking at my old clothes; they were thrifted from long ago back before the craze so I have some good pieces but they dont fit me anymore. It’s all just so depressing. I was diagnosed with PCOS and just recently insulin resistance so I feel so defeated; I will never lose much weight again to where I can fit them again, and I cannot eat like before, so I’ve been feeling so bad about everything.
nonners i know, i'm not acting like i'm better than them. i know i'm on lc, that's the only place i fit in without being ridiculed (not this post, but my other posts get by just fine, i'm your average poster).>>1693877>not having a tribe
how the fuck do i fix that if i don't get along with anyone non-anonymous?
Eh, have you considered that you just aren't that interested? For example almost all "love" is often just temporary, mostly a social construct, and ends up failing. Without society it wasn't really a thing for two people to be together forever either. A lot of modern day therapy and thinking wants people to end up in hetero relationships so it frames any woman that feels differently as odd/having mental issues.
Beware. I knew someone that just never liked anyone in that way and tried to "fix" herself by dating men that ended up mistreating her. It was tragic and after making peace with it she realized she just wanted to pursue her hobbies and friendships.
Nta, but you know, I think the problem lies more in your self confidence issues. Calling yourself fat and ugly in such a negative way is imo an externalization of your self esteem issues.
Idk nonna! Not everyone is born beautiful and with thin perfect metabolism genetics. The best you can do is focus on radical acceptance or whatever it's called, and maybe look into turning your old clothes into something nice like a scrap blanket/quilt. That way you'll learn a skill and have something for your brain to focus on.
I do feel you about the PCOS. Moving forward, the best thing to do is figure out a steady exercise regime and diet that you like that keeps you healthy. (I assume your doctor put you on metformin, so be sure to take that like you're meant to, if so.) Once you have those figured out, you'll reach a weight plateau, and then you'll know what size to build your wardrobe to. A lot of people will mention HIIT workouts, but if you don't want to do those, then don't. Not everyone wants muscle, and not everyone wants to spend so much time at the gym because they simply don't enjoy it. You gotta find some positives to occupy yourself with. Oh, also, weight gain and bloating is related to bad sleep hygiene, so try resting at consistent times and for the amount you need.
Sorry if this was all stuff you already knew. Just remember being in your situation a long while back, and I hope some of this was helpful. You'll be okay, nonna. You're not some hideous creature, you're a woman going through a rough time right now. It'll get better.
Let me know if you want help/advice with the "hoarding" and paper pile up, I don't know if you already threw that all out kek
I've been medicated a million different ways for 10 years. This is just how it's going to be.
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Nonnas I don’t know what to do anymore. I am sisyphus. Constantly moving forwards and backwards. I am so incredibly alone but I don’t allow myself to try and change that and frankly I don’t know how anymore. I think I need a fresh start before I kms and like idk move to a walkable city make many friends and have a good friendship group but simply how? I think I may be destined to repeat my cycles forever. What needs to change for things to improve for me anymore I do not know. I have contemplated interacting in or posting in the friend finder thread but have got too anxious and the lines between anonymity and real life become blurred and I’m unsure how I feel about that currently.
SA I think my toxic
relationship probably plays a huge part in my issues but thats something I’ve been generally struggling immensely with, I struggle being alone but I know I deserve better and outside sources have described my relationship as toxic
and (emotionally) abusive
, it feels like it should end but I’m still holding on for whatever reason, guess I’m delusional (about this among other things kek) but I believe this is a big reason why I’m so stressed about trying to improve my life and make it fulfilling I don’t know this is all cringe and I am regretful for existing for this long on false hope.
Nta but>stop listening to lana del rey
Kek, for some of us Lanafags the daddy issues came before the music, not the music gave us daddy issues lol
men either seethe about abortion because they see it as rejection of their defective cum or they fuck women without condoms while pressuring them to abort as if it's like having a haircut
men DO NOT give a fuck about abortion, the veneer of pro life is them being insects wanting to inject their genetic material no matter the cost. + to punish women for having sex with men that are not them in particular. men do not care about anything beyond their penis and balls frankly
women really never treat it casually, when they seem to do so it's obvious coping/joking that men somehow get ultra triggered
about because they care soooo much about "murder" (as if they don't kill their families every day)
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Trying to make fun of olivia rodrigo's ugly boob job and can't because thriftfags mortal enemy can't stop sperging(carrying infights cross-thread)
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I hate gift receiving and never ask people for gift. I hate it because they always put 0 thought into it and just give you shit you don't like. They claim it's to be nice but they couldn't even bother to get to know your likes and interests to actually make a thoughtful gift. It just shows they don't actually care/know you.
My bf's parents gave me one of these and 1. I never wear bracelets 2.It's ugly and looks cheap 3.It's too big and almost falls off. They couldn't call my bf and ask him what type of jewelry I like. Now I have to keep this shit in case they ever ask about it, thanks for the clutter.
My bf's sister also gave me an ugly shirt once that was way too small. It's donated now. She also always gifts him things SHE likes, and they just clutter the house.
NTA but>you are so stinky i can smell you through the screen>do your laundry
What are these comebacks?
If he's not taken yet, at that big age, there's a good reason.
He is unlikely to commit to anything serious, especially if he's never been married. I am old myself and see this in the men around me. Men who aren't committed by mid/late 30s are usually what used to be called "confirmed bachelors".
Nta but>attractive people never divorce each other
Ever heard of Hollywood? But seriously, it can happen anywhere and just because people divorced doesn't mean one of them was crazy or abusive
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I hate hate hate pornsick moids especially otakus! I have the misfortune of sitting next to one during a flight last weekend. He was reading hentai manga on his huge screen mobile phone shamelessly. And he smelt bad too! Disgusting!!! Thank god it was only a one hour flight or else I would've jumped off the plane. There should be a law banning moids from being into anime/manga because they ruin everything. Only women can be interested in it.
Ntayrt but most people in hollywood (mostly the men tho) are crazy or abusive
, kind of proves anon's point kek
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Seeing white passing people with massive hateboners for white people is so weird. Like they always sperg the most about how much they hate white people but obviously it’s only for personal vendetta. This girl is (rightfully) criticizing Taylor Swift for being a snake and going on and on about not being able to trust white women but is also a Pewdiepie fan? Girl you don’t fucking care you’re just a handmaiden. I’m not trying to be a bitch over white people criticisms but like sometimes the hypocrisy is too much.
I'm late, but I initially thought the OP is a reference to this video.
Onto the vent: I feel so empty and unmotivated these months. It's like I'm a husk of my former self, with nothing left underneath. I'm bored all the time, but nothing sparks joy anymore. Nothing matters. I don't care about my goals, or, if I do, I just feel annoyed and disappointed that I have some sort of inner resistance to achieve them. It happens rarely though, for the most part I just feel extreme pressure from realization how pretty much none of it matters. Not on a grand scheme of things, and not to me anymore. I did develop a routine of healthy habits however, but if I'm being truly honest with myself, I do these things mostly out of boredom. Everything else, everything that made me myself, all these sources of deep emotional experience, all of that just… it's retarded. It doesn't make sense. Doesn't serve any purpose. Doesn't matter. I'm not allowed to experience these things. Something in my mind tells me that.
Sometimes I think about suicide, but not the same way I used to when I was living in an abusive household. These days it's kind of apathetic. "Yeah, nothing to see here anymore. Don't care if I die tomorrow. Nothing here matters anyway." I genuinely start to feel frustrated that I wake up. It's not like I have anything to be frustrated about much, I finally actually have time and resources to heal. Is this a part of healing, to feel hollow? To feel like nothing matters? Or I just got worse…? Or maybe I'm not used to being in a healthy environment and have opportunities, so my brain kind of stresses itself out of habit. Either way, I'm so tired of living.
There’s lots of different medications you can try, I know it’s not always a chemical imbalance that can be fixed but it helped me and it took over a decade of trial and error. Professional help is really important too because we tend to only see the worst in ourselves. Having an unbiased person work with you makes all the difference and can help you get to the root cause of why you feel this way. Taking care of yourself in general seems stupid and futile but you will feel better if you do, so why not try before throwing in the towel completely? I’m a shut in too, and I didn’t understand the point of suffering if it was all just a repetitious hell regardless of what I did. I don’t have good relations with my family, I don’t have family at all tbh but there’s still hope to feel happy someday. I went from “If I die, who will be competent enough to take care of my cat?” to “I was not seeing things objectively and there is a reason to keep going, even and especially if it’s for self improvement”, and you deserve to give yourself a chance at least. You deserve to be happy, you don’t have to accomplish some great thing or make people proud of you to deserve happiness and peace in your life. No one asked to be here but we trudge through and eventually things improve. I was also really bad when my meds got upped before it gradually got better and I saw the point to being alive, how much potential I have even now at 30 and stunted due to PTSD/the like. The transitional period was fucking horrible but I knew I didn’t want to die so I had to endure and it eventually got better. I’m not a brand new person or anything but I see my potential and the point now, I have the perspective to at least try. You’re going to die someday anyways nona, at least stick around for something in the meantime. You won’t regret living when you’re on your deathbed, y’know? You’ll have given it a real shot and have given yourself the opportunity to feel better. Make a burner if you wanna talk, mine is email@example.com
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nayrt. please elaborate Nona what are ur bullying tactics
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And now the only farmhand on duty is PMS’ing bad so everyone is getting punished for one retards behavior. Kek. Just because laundryfag flew off the handle in the wrong thread doesn’t mean that it’s OP’s fault?(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
Right? I was reading the summary and trying to understand what OP did to get redtexted cause they didn’t even link the shit derailing that’s been going on.
This ship is sinking
Yeah pretty much that. Especially if you recently got radicalized and you didn't give a shit about preferred pronouns one way or the other 2 years ago.
I personally stopped caring about trans people hurting themselves through the brainwashing, and at my core I believe life is too short to make someone upset over something minor like pronouns, so I don't care about most trans people irl since usually not unbearable and usually don't make me feel uncomfortable. But when you're online you just see the worst of the worst. Thankfully those types are terminally online.
Yeah, that’s about my same situation actually. Thank you nonnie
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nonnies I want to go ape shit, I want to lose myself, I want to just scorch everything, I want to break free, leave, never come back. I'm in my 30's working a dead end job that makes me miserable, I haven't had a real relationship ever, my body is constantly breaking apart, a BPD-chan took years of my life, my friends only use me to dump their emotional baggage on, I'm just so done with life and every single day just being another dull ass disappointment waiting to happen and nothing just matters anymore. I barely have the energy to get up from bed and feed myself, I'm so anxious and depressed and I have no energy to even seek help. I'm so fucking tired of living like this and I feel like despite being so young my life's course has been set and I'm never going to recover and I have nearly 50 years left of this suffering. Fuck this stupid fucking life, I at least wish I had the mental capacity to do my dishes.
Nta but >tfw I only learned how to maintain every day hygiene and making phone calls by myself at 25
Some people are retarded autists anon. Looking at my iq you wouldn't tell I'm retarded but in real life I am quite retarded. I also got my first job at 26. Thank god I have some talent to rely on and some people want to buy my art, if I could only rely on my 'normal' job, I would be totally miserable and wanted to kms. I couldn't go to uni because I couldn't handle being around people, and now I feel like it's too late. I feel sorry for retards like me who don't have any skill that someone actually wants to pay for and can only do shit like retail. Anyway, my point is it's still SHOCKING to me how much normies can achieve in like 3 or 4 years. Their lives can change during that time so much. Meanwhile for me it's just small changes. Everything takes me much more time. I can totally understand 10 years wasn't enough for someone to fix their life
You've made it so far already nona! It's okay if things take time, you're doing your best where you're at and we're cheering for you.>>1694740
Praying we all get to be as blessed as you apparently are.
Something that helped me a lot with those little bitches was getting someone to deep clean my house, like moving every single tiny little object, putting it aside and cleaning everything.
Then we threw boric acid almost everywhere (we have a dog) and got bait that we put basically everywhere, and they disappeared for a very long time, now we have to repeat the cycle because they’re reappearing but this is what happens when you live in an apartment.
Our car just broke down and we can't even afford to fix it. We're barely scraping by. I say "family" but really it's just two of us now. I know we probably should get one though.>>1694851
Thanks anon, I want to deep clean the house soon. It's just hard because I've been ill and have limited energy everyday.
I actually cut off several friendships over them having transphobic friends, would retweet callouts that outed people as “TERFs” and so on, but on my adult years I got out and realized males on skirts never unlearn the way they were raised as oppressors, and that TIFs on all of my circles behave exactly like any other non-straight woman around them. Talking to trans people IRL, no filters, is what made me peak.> the internet radicalizes people
Funny because I live in a Spanish speaking country and everyone defines their gender and pronouns in English because they learned it online. The internet radicalized them.
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I know she's a grifter but Pearl is one of those women I struggle with not a logging.
The people she associates with are so mentally ill.Especially Godlywomanhood or whatever tf her name is. How do they live consuming and spreading this garbage rhetoric? Is the money really worth it?
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Even with the maximum allowed dosage of ADHD medication and reminders and notes and whatever, I continue to make incredibly stupid inattentive mistakes at my workplace and I feel retarded. I'm having recurring meetings with my manager where I have to repeat myself constantly and say 'Yes, that's not how I should have done x' and 'I will keep this in mind' only to promptly forget everything we discussed and keep doing the same mistakes. Shoot me
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I hate having a fat ass!!! I want to wear form fitting pants you know the professional work ones and I want to wear a suit but I'm a short legged wide hipped woman and I hate it so much I can only wear skirts that fall free after my waist because everything else doesn't fit me and also looks horrendous. Why couldn't I get the tall skinny gene from my father's side and got my mom's birthing body genes instead ugh and when I complained to some women about this they looked at me like I'm crazy I'm sorry I want to wear classy clothes and not get rape stares for wearing something that wraps around my ass instead of an ugly skirt
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My boyfriend is such a sensitive crybaby. I really have to watch my mouth around him because he'll get offended at the smallest things and I often have no idea how he could've even interpreted my words as something bad.
>bf wants to get a dining table so he could play board games with friends, keeps asking which table to get
>I say I don't know, am busy studying for a uni course
>he keeps coming in and showing me tables, asking where to put them, what do I think
>I'm busy, I don't care about the table get whichever one you like
>he gets pissed because I'm "being rude"
>try to explain I can't focus easily with him playing his music loudly and constantly barging into the study, say I have to get this done so I will go sleep in uni dorms until I'm done with the course if he doesn't stop
>he starts crying and asks if I'm breaking up with him, now I have to spend time comforting him and apologizing because he won't stop sulking otherwise
Lord deliver me
Male having a BPD moment.
You laid down a reasonable boundary but instead of respecting that he reversed victim
so you had to spend emotional energy making him feel better cause you didn't spend emotional energy earlier trying to validate his shopping choices by being his personal home designer.
Does he do this habitually anon? If so, it could be a mental illness that's not gonna get better anytime soon.
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got into an argument with the HRA lady because i told her i was fired and she asked me if i have proof and im like no? and she was like they dont have it in writing that you were fired? And i keep telling her no and she keeps asking me about why and how thats strange. Like is it? is it really? the only 2 jobs i was fired from i never got a termination letter. They just told me verbally. Like so where do we go from here? I tell her that it is not a even required document that you need. She gonna say well people lie about getting fired. And im like well if thats a common thing then maybe that should be listed as a required document. But as of right now it isnt one so stop asking me. I ended up apologizing because i always feel bad when i get mad at someone just doing their job. My issue was just im on hold listening to that annoying song for over an hour and you want to ask me for MORE documents??? aFTER I GAVE YOU MY WHOLE LIFE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. like i have to give you my birth certificate, my first born child, my natal chart etc and you ask me for MORE!? all this for $300 and to be treated like im subhuman at the grocery store for using an EBT card. I HATE IT HERE. i got approved though!
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Celebrities thread complaining about infighting just to continue to infight about infighting instead of reporting posts and walking away.
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I don't know how to use Pinterest and is starting to stress me out, none of my pins gets ANY traction at all, I don't even care about likes, I just want my tutorials to reach someone! How is everyone else getting traction but me?? Why is it so hard??
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I finally put my finger on why the modern e-girl fashion is uncanny for me: the cosplay factor.
I'll explain in the best way:
E-Girl fashion is just a cosplay of the emo fashion and no shit, trends change and evolve and normally, stuff gets revamped in a 20-year cycle, I'm not mad about reee nooo my teenage fashion!!! but what puts me off is the overall feeling of this trend:
Basically, zoomers are now what I looked up as a tween, I used to look at scene queens on my family pc, buy magazines with tokio hotel and cinema bizzarre (eurofag here) and I would seethe that my mom wouldn't let me dye my hair for a long time, I used to froth at emo fashion in the store windows, I saved up for some red extensions, used to wear shit eyeliner but whatever and Drop Dead/Living Dead Souls/Tokidoki/Cupcake Cult stuff was the absolute shit you had to buy to be considered a true emo but after digging out my tween/teen clothes I noticed that those clothes, despite being made only for the emo and edgy hype of the mid-late 2000s, still were wearable? I mean, I have the courage to wear it kek but they resisted a lot, with proper care I also restored and sew some stitches into my Poizen Industries edgy gloves and they're great for the colder season, they're comfy and thick.
Now when I look around and see e-girls I can see the shit quality. I can see the Shein and Aliexpress and it's giving me the same feeling about seeing cosplays of Disney princesses: sure, it's a costume, not a real thing. Their skirts are cosplay skirts, not like actual black skirts, the shirts are shit polyester printed with plastic, peely prints (the ones who flake, you know), the shoes are aliexpress demonias, and the real thing isn't really good either, but their makeup is perfect because they are terminally online and their wigs are also fake.
Don't get me wrong, shitty raccoon hair and makeup were terrible and thank god we moved past that but when I look at them it's like I'm looking at a cosplayer: perfect face, shitty "costume" only worn for the hype and cutesy tiktoks. I'm not even being classist because I'm sure as fuck these girls are richer than me with simps/donations/tiktok revenue and they purposely throw all of their money on shein shit, they're free to do it, but I'm also free to feel uncanny when I can smell the plastic of their ahegao shirts because it's the same plastic, fake feeling of cosplay costumes.
I've only seen autistic kids wear alt fashion in public and they don't look like that. They look autistic. These girls wear the stuff only indoors and only for tiktoks - it looks like a costume because it very much is a costume, and they don't spend a lot of money on it because they won't actually wear it. It's an investment to get clicks and internet points that they can convert into sponsorships.
I was very young when emo was popular (tho it didn't stop me from being a weird little wannabe) and a bit older when scene was big though I wasn't very into that, and I have to give mad respect to people who wore that around. I lived in a village and remember the two emo kids getting roasted left and right for years for wearing hacked together outfits, bad dye jobs and vans they had to travel to another country to buy.
I thought about them the other day. It must've sucked.
i'm going to drop the idea. he's got a new love interest i hear and i feel… hollow. i'm happy for him, but i feel hollow. dude…
Eh, I live in a big city so I can see many flavours of e-girls and trust me, they are like that, plus many fast fashion brands sometimes jump on the bandwagon (sometimes meaning that right now there are a shitton of zoomer centric fashion so they have to constantly cather to them) so if you see like a cheap, fake leather corset, meaning shit plastic, you bet every egirl will wear it due to the accessibility factor but will also set the bar so low, it looks like shit. This also caused the actual emo fashion to go up terribly in terms of money, because brands like Minga or Ragged Priest obviously want to surf up the hype and people on depop/vinted are reselling 2000s pieces with like 400% markup when in reality I distinctly remember making my baby emo fashion with anything, I went like to Home Depot for chains and I still got them, aliexpress chain are light and cheap and they cost like what, 4 times more? I used to get black, plain zip up hoodies, make a hole for the thumb and then discoloring them with bleach, it was also very fun! Now everything is right on demand on chinese websites and it feels so fucking weird.
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I hope she’s having a nice day
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Today at work I had an uncontrollable attack of laughter arthur fleck-style, there was literally no reason, nothing that was funny to me, I just felt like laughing and I couldn't stop for like 5-7 minutes. My coworker thought there was something wrong with me. I had basically nothing going through my head at that moment, I also didn't even think what would others think about me. Embarrassment came later. I'm starting to worry about my mental health again. Could it be like a release of tension build up from masking or something? I'm an autist
I dealt with weird restleness, exhaustion, strange mood swings and waking up during the night for the last year or two. Turns out my thyroid is fucked. Might be worth checking out nonnie
My doctor already tested my thyroid and it was fine. They couldn't really find the reason for my constant feeling of exhaustion. Honestly I've been exhausted since I was like 11-12 years old, since my puberty hit. Strong anxiety also started at that moment. I felt like there was constantly something to worry about, enough to the point to make me stressed out all the time. Problems at school because of bullying, then I refused to go outside and my school performance dropped, my mom was diagnosed with cancer, my alcoholic father was bothering us, mom was abusive
, as an adult I couldn't move out because I felt like I wouldn't survive alone and I also had to take care of my mom out of guilt, then after her death I got insurancee money and I constantly worried someone would steal it for me, my mom was in debt so I also worried they would find a way to take my apartment from me etc. It was ALWAYS something to worry about. I also had strong episodes of hypochondria and I was sure I had cancer too. Now I'm worrying of how I'm not able to go back to my home country because of shitty economy and how I'm so alone since I never had any friends and I struggle to connect with people. It's always something so I feel like it's impossible for me to get rid of chronic stress and it kills me, me ability to eat and sleep properly and take care of myself
what this nona said >>1696158
I like other body types on other girls and don't think it's a healthy choice at all but I just don't look good at anything besides thin, and nothing has cut weight for me so far the usual ways. I have tried so hard to like myself and I can't. I don't think I'm doing a good thing but I just want to not hate myself again
NTA if anon wants to vent with no response she can get a diary. Anon is replying with a very sane, reasonable reminder that could potentially make anon reconsider or at least try for some harm reduction.
I know that as soon as I feel like maybe I should just restrict more, I'm immediately turned off by the thought of losing bone density or the ability to shit. Being skinny ain't worth that stuff to me.
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I’m having GI issues that I’m assuming is irritable bowel syndrome, and while I was reusing an old planner today I found out that the exact same time 5 years ago I went to see a GI doctor. Now my mom is telling me that if I don’t feel better soon I need to see a GI doc again because she previously had an intestinal polyp removed and her grandparents died from colon cancer
Tenacity is all we have nonnie
. Keep applying for jobs, I promise you’ll find something. I’m in a similar bind currently many are because job crisis
but we are going to make it
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I started drinking for a few nights on and off to deal with the rage, feelings of helplessness and emotional instability and I feel like this is how alcoholism starts.
I don't know. I usually try to forget it because they are just kids (teens more about it) but I don't understand why they started being so mean. I only recently became an adult and I don't have any money/a job so I don't think I can cut them off yet. My goal is to never talk to my family again.>>1696271
thank you nona, i wish the best for you.