File: 1453624158158.jpg (1.25 MB, 2592x1936, image.jpg)
No. 167311
>>167310Thanks anon :)
I reckon I should be able to take it. I was hand fed grapes earlier this afternoon.
No. 167314
>>167312Propose to him?
Idk maybe he's not ready for marriage yet?
Some people take longer to come around to the idea. Do you two live together?
No. 167315
File: 1453631548329.png (96.21 KB, 332x333, 1453149826498.png)
>>167314Im thinking of proposing to him but when I told him about this idea he said it would be embarrassing for him (or something )
no, we do not live together but we mostly spend 24/7 together anyway
he probably is not ready for marriage but he also said that we wouldnt be able to afford wedding rn (which is true) and he doesnt want to be engaged for too long (personally, I would be fine with waiting 5 years …)
No. 167316
>>167309Avoid people telling you what to do. I want a super tiny wedding, very low key and I had to deal with women (and a few men!) from both sides of the family trying to guilt me that
"a wedding is something for the whole family"
and
"I had a big wedding and it was great"
Well I know a lady who married in front of 7 people, with a dress from a second hand shop, and they've been together 30 years now. Don't listen to people it's you and your dude's big day.
No. 167317
>>167312>>167315>it's been two years>not even living togetherAnon are you sure this is the right decision? Personally I wouldn't want to marry someone I only had a relationship with for two years and with whom I haven't even really lived together.
I think there's still quite a difference between spending a lot of time together and actually living together, splitting bills, grocery shopping, all the little things you do. It just isn't the same to me. And if you have been with him for only two years, that is not a long time.
Honestly I am with your bf here. Wait until you are both 100% sure and comfortable, until you can afford a wedding, and then you can get engaged and plan an actual wedding. It's no use being a fiance for 5 years, that is not the point of getting engaged. If you trust him and your relationship you should be able to wait a few years without being engaged as a "back up".
No. 167318
>>167317So true. You don't really know someone until you learn whether they snore, their little morning routine, what they do with dirty socks and whether they like the window open.
Living together is like a pre marriage test
No. 167323
>>167319Oh god I hate this
Like I'm spending a decent amount on my makeup and my cake, I don't want either smoothed and ruined.
No. 167324
>>167321Were having the ceremony and reception in the bush lol. There's pretty eucalyptus forests everywhere around here and its way better than being fucked over on the price most good venues charge.
I'm gonna put the money that would have gone to venue onto the catering. I'd totally go bridezilla if my guests got bad food.
Are you guys getting married in church or a nice hosting venue?
No. 167325
>>167322If you both like the idea of a 'who dunnit' murder mystery type thing you should go for it! It would be so much more fun than a typical wedding, the guests get to interact more and its a fun way for new in-laws to break the ice and build relationships.
It could be like 'who stole the bride?!' And then when they're all gathered looking at the last clue you walk down the aisle and people are all 'holy shit marriage yes!!'
No. 167328
>>167322A lot of hotels host these events.
>>167324I was hoping for a venue because I'd like to have everything as smooth and convenient as possible. Most venues already come with their own furniture, often catering, bathrooms, etc and are willing to do some basics for the wedding. As much a I love the idea of doing the whole thing in the park (and it is cheap), it just seems like a massive and expensive pain to organize all the set up, clean up, and all the outside extras that other people then have to be called in to do.
No. 167330
Don't make it so big and stupid that you'll forget things you should be remembering.
Worrying about stupid shit like "omg the swan ice centerpiece is melting too fast!" No one gives a shit about most of what you might freak out about.
Make it meaningful. It's not about how much everything costs, what you put in your wedding favors, who will be impressed with your dress, or be jealous of everything. It's a very special moment, so at that time, let everything fade away into the background as you look into each other's eyes.
After the ceremony is over, take a few minutes, just the two of you, to breathe and center yourselves.
Don't go annoying and ask your whole sorority house to be your bridesmaids. Yes, that did happen, and it was the most ostentatious wedding ever. My husband was in the wedding, so I just got drunk and smoked cigars with a friend of his.
Do you. Yes, I'd keep in mind that receptions are most fun when you can involve everyone. That way it's fun and memorable.
My cousin put disposable cameras at each table for everyone to take their own reception photos. I loved that idea.
It will not go perfectly. Don't sweat it.
Finally, remember this: a wedding does not make a marriage. I think a lot of women that divorce quickly got the "and they lived happily ever after" syndrome.
Have fun, make it meaningful and find a way to always remember the good times.
No. 167335
File: 1453730734320.png (308.22 KB, 443x273, ssss.png)
>>167326Yep, I'm in this situation. Lucky for me (or unlucky, depending on your perspective) my family is dysfunctional and broken up, so I'm just going to have a tiny ceremony in my fiance's country, that was at least his family can come.
One thing you can do in your situation (my friend did this) is to have the religious ceremony in one country, and the legal one in another. That way both families get a party and don't need to pay for tickets.
I had a different friend who had her family fly in, but she paid for the hotel and everything, and it ended up being insanely expensive, and expect a lot of people to say NOPE for having to fly, since it's a commitment.
No. 167337
>>167332My family: Catholic
His family: Jewish
We threatened to elope and it was decided to be okay if we had a non-religious ceremony. His family, save for his Grandma and Mom/Dad, all don't speak to him any more but fuck them, they were catty rich women with nothing better to do than question everyone else's lives.
No. 167338
>>167335Hey, I'm the OP. I just wanted to say my family is dysfunctional as fuck too and ill have none of my own family there.
It doesn't matter in the end, the day is about celebrating you and your fiancée making a commitment and that you guys are in love. Nobody who isn't willing to celebrate that shouldn't be there.
Surround yourselves with the people who actually love you and treat you the way you deserve anon
No. 167339
>>167337We are planning something similar. I come from Lutherans, he comes from Catholics and were both atheist.
So uncomfortable.
No. 167340
>>167326My boyfriend is from Mexico and I'm from
The U.S, but I'm Mexican-American (mom and dad were born in Mexico but are now U.S citizens). Because we're both from Mexican backgrounds and Mexican families, we already have an advantage, and I'd love to have the wedding in Mexico because that's the country where the majority of my family and his family live so it would be easier since trying to travel to the U.S is a pain in the butt. The other thing is, my boyfriend is here on a visa that he has to renew every year so I'm hoping that one super cool thing that happens is that he could get his residency and eventually citizenship if he marries citizen like me. But that's a different discussion.
No. 167343
>>167342They pretty much are, if you actually read extensively about them.
Enjoy paying an extortionate amount of money for something that has very little intrinsic value besides your vanity.
Sounds bitter, but it's true.
No. 167347
>>167344Lol
I'm op. we'd been engaged for over a year before I made this thread. Cute assumptions and shit tho.
I hear there's this place for bitter idiots like yourselves called r9k.
No. 167348
>>167347Kek you sound like a salty little bitch.
I take back my congratulations.
No. 167350
>>167342Your boyfriend knows what's up. Women are literally brainwashed from birth to want diamond engagement rings, but it's been a huge scam since the mid 1900s. Lookup why diamond rings are bullshit. There are tons of diamonds out there, but the companies take a tiny chunk and charge hundreds/thousands for it. Why a diamond anyway?
It's bs. And you're also supporting child labor by buying into it.
No. 167351
File: 1461057562448.jpg (242.69 KB, 1600x1200, anime-wedding.jpg)
>I'm getting married guys!
>let's make a marriage general!
>btw here's my overinflated jew rock that is legitimately worth less than a lump of coal
>diamonds are a girl's best friend teehee though ;)
>but it's totally a wedding general!
You can really tell bitches like OP are only after attention when they:
A., start a new thread claiming it to be a general but then post their experiences right in the OP instead of in the first post of the thread, because they need to ensure that EVERYBODY sees it.
B., they create the OP using a person image instead of a stock image or a weeaboo illustration like picture related which have now become custom.
OP really needs that attention guys. Don't deprive her.
No. 167352
File: 1461062161559.jpg (6.81 KB, 180x200, Nenya.jpg)
My ring, it's Nenya, the ring that Galadriel wears in the Lord of the Rings.
It's not one of those very expensive rings, but as if that matters. I've got the same ring as a very powerful Elvish noble!
The wedding is going to be as small as possible, and the party will probably be just eating cake while playing D&D at our house.
We've been already engaged for a year, but there isn't really a lot of rush. We'll see when it's exactly the right time.
No. 167353
File: 1461063681388.jpg (22.15 KB, 500x390, image.jpg)
>>167348Lmao wow ouch.
>>167349I'm in the thread some salty faggot started shit posting in because they're mad about diamonds. Where do you think you are?>>26576
Its not even a fucking diamond holy shit why are you so butthurt about some people getting rocks anon.
No. 167354
>>167352That's so cute!
Elvish inspired jewellery is gorgeous, and there's no need to spend a fortune. Its just a party.
No. 167360
>>167359When in doubt, attack the facial features of a person you've never seen in your life, amirite.
At least I don't buy into the shekel pebble charade :^)
No. 167361
What is it with these bitches who thinks anybody that criticizes them for their autism is "totes just jeluz uwu"
>>167355 >>26568
You're deluded if you honestly believe that most of the users on lolcow don't have boyfriends, fiancés or husbands. You're not special for being the bazillionth woman to fall into the marriage scam, and you'll be even less special when you eventually divorce.
No. 167364
>>167326I have a friend who was in this exact situation. What they ended up doing was throwing two 'weddings' so both families could attend in their own country, even though their actual marriage was just a small courthouse ceremony. The American wedding was pretty low-key, but when they got to Japan the groom's family went apeshit and basically threw money at them to get the whole nine yard package. She got like three different wedding dresses (traditional kimono, white western-style dress, and one for the reception) and their wedding pictures were beautiful.
Obv. it was a much bigger deal for his family tho since they hadn't had a real chance to see their son since he moved to the states. So I would maybe just get your license already and then plan out how to include both families in your celebrations, even if they're on separate continents.
No. 167366
>>167361dude, it's /g/. It's not /snow/ or /pt/, there's nothing wrong about making a thread that starts off with a personal anecdote.
idk why farmers always have to make it about getting attention for yourself, it's not like this site is in danger of being overrun by tripfags like /cgl/ back in the day.
No. 167367
>>167312i dont know how old you are
but 2 years isnt
thaaaat long
if you're not longer in your twenties and dating for over 3-4 years, then maybe…
No. 167368
>>167342Depends. If he's just skeptical of the diamond/wedding wing industry then no, that's just something that's good to be aware of.
But I see a lot of dudes use it as an excuse to be misogynysts and pull the whole "stupid women, diamond rings are a scam and every woman who doesn't completely abhor the idea of getting any sort of wedding ring is a dumb [insert string of insults here]". Dudes who think like that are definitely ones to be avoided.
Even if diamond rings are a scam, you still have the right to enjoy them and want one. It's sort of a waste of money but so are weddings in general. It doesn't mean you shouldn't get it if it would make you happy.
No. 167370
>>167367I've always heard that 2&1/2 years is about how long it takes for the chemical rush 'infatuation' stage of love to wear off.
that's why it's my rule of thumb. If I've been together with someone for over 2.5 years, I figure we're probably compatible enough to be able to stand one another for more to come.
No. 167371
>>167358Op again- dude its /g/ on lolcow. if I wanted attention id post on forums that matter.
Its a wedding general, the idea is to compare experiences and notes. You're so worked up over nothing its a little bit insane.
Slightly different op picture than usual has ruined your day and caused a meltdown for you. Get off the Internet and into some support groups.
No. 167372
>>167369Why come here to tell people 'lol you'll divorce. I hate your jewelry'
I know about the diamond industry, loads of people do. its hardly a secret.
but you don't need to shit on people who still get one.
No. 167373
>>167372I do though.
When people do stupid things, you ridicule them no?
Why would anybody go out and drop fat $$$ on a rock they already know holds no intrinsic value beyond the cost of its marketing campaign?
That is what stupid people who're bought by adverts do. I'm always going to laugh at that.
No. 167374
>>167372I'm not against marriage as a concept, but the bloated, corporate, materialistic farce it has become today, that is only further emphasised by this worthless sodding rock rubs me up something terrible.
I can't understand why people purposefully buy into this shite knowing full well it's shite. It fucking bewilders me.
No. 167375
>>167373>>167373Eh, diamond rings still look pretty neat though.theres also the benefit threat they don't tarnish.
You're coming to the majestically smug conclusion that consumers consume. Congrats.
No. 167376
>>167373Do you think anybody will ever change their minds because you're being an asshole about it? Nah its to stroke your own ego.
>>167374Fair enough but your assumption that everyone ITT is just attention seeking and giddily planning on dropping a few hundred k on their party is pretty silly.
Why even go to a thread about weddings if you don't like the industry?
You guys aren't making anyone change their minds about their weddings at all. You're just making yourself look like an ass. You're the guy who goes to the engagement party to loudly rant about how awful weddings are and that the bride is a whore. What was the point?
No. 167377
>>167375There's no smugness in it, I'm partially enraged by the entire way our system is set up and that despite having all this knowledge readily available and fully acknowledged, people go ahead and do this shit anyway. I'm exasperated to the point of choking.
Why do people trade emotional sentimentality for shallow material fulfilment.
You know what just ignore me. I'm just having one of those "CAPITALISM REEEEEEEEEEEE" weeks.
It's just so fucking depressing you know.
No. 167378
>>167377>>167377Holy shit do you really think people are all just shallow fucks wanting a pretty rock?
Be a bitter pretentious wanker, whatever but why shit all over someone because of that?
Deal with your shit and stop telling other people they're stupid and doomed to divorce just because you're having a bad day you fucking child.
No. 167379
>>167378
>holy shit do you really think people are all just shallow fucks wanting a pretty rock?That's exactly what I think.
If you're the type of person that emotionally manipulates your partner, whom you're supposed to love and care for btw, into spending an obscene amount of money on buying you a rock you KNOW is worthless, you KNOW is inflated, you KNOW has been deliberately marketed in a way so as to manipulate you into making a purchase, that you KNOW people in poverty are financially enslaved into mining where they frequently die, you're the very definition of a shallow, vain, mindless automaton that is incapable of contemplating a desire beyond what her De Beers Jew-sanctioned marketing campaign is shovelling down her cock-lodged throat and it is women like you that are the reason that so many of us have reputations for being materialistically psychotic whores.
How fucking sad do you have to be to only feel like your relationship is validated by your kike mineral.
No. 167381
File: 1461113186587.jpg (39.54 KB, 401x318, image.jpg)
>>167380>>167379I'm emotionally manipulating my fiancée to buy diamonds? Cool story salty, but he asked me to choose a ring and I chose to use the diamond from a family engagement ring I inherited. Where the hell did you come up with emotional manipulation from?
Plz keep pulling things about me from your ass though.
The ring is a tiny detail of the day, and the day is about my fiancée and I making our vows to each other. Let me guess you think I demanded a 10k dress and care more about the catering than the man I'm going to spend forever with and make a family with.
Whatever your issue is with weddings, projecting it all over me isn't gonna help you.
You're just making guesses about shit to bolster your own bitter arguments about how super smart and superior you need to feel because someone has a chunk of mineral that you don't like. Get some Prozac or something.
No. 167383
File: 1461120036884.jpeg (252.8 KB, 746x1076, image.jpeg)
>>167379Reminds me of this I saw an hour ago.
Sage for busuzawa.
No. 167385
>>167373I like knowing I'm keeping shitty children in a job that helps out their families and gives them some fucking back bone to hard work.
God bless blood diamonds.
No. 167386
File: 1461135865567.jpg (27.92 KB, 550x450, 10-hacked-off.jpg)
>>167385
>I like knowing I'm keeping shitty children in a job that helps out their familiesYou're a colossal fool if you think any of these children actually get paid an equal or fare wage, if they get paid in currency at all, and you're fucking sick for believing that children should be out doing back-breaking work for upto 14 hours a day at a key period in their life when they're supposed to be out playing, learning and developing.
This child was granted the great opportunity of losing her fingers and her entire hand because of the diamond conflict in Sierra Leone.
14 years old Anon. Still, gotta get that rock on your fat, sausage fingers though huh.
No. 167388
>>167374>I can't understand why people purposefully buy into this shite knowing full well it's shite. It fucking bewilders me.cause it makes them happy, is that so hard to understand? lol. why does anyone do anything? cause it makes them happy. some people enjoy materialistic pursuits, some people enjoy more intellectual or esoteric pursuits
>Why do people trade emotional sentimentality for shallow material fulfilment.cause you go on the assumption that everyone's emotions and sentimentality work the same, that everyone enjoys sentimentality and that people should think they way you do. for some people, materialistic stuff is connected with sentimentality. others just like it. it's "just so fucking depressing" what not everyone thinks the same way as you? you come off very holier than thou not recognizing there are gonna be differences between people, and i don't even care for jewelry myself either
i mean by the same token, someone could ask you why you go on this shallow websites made to basically make fun of other people, why don't you pursue some deeper and more intellectual pursuits, but instead you settle for this shallow website…similar argument
No. 167389
File: 1461140463836.jpg (10.52 KB, 275x261, image.jpg)
>>167386You autistic fuck.
No. 167390
>>167386Its not like the girl in your photo is gonna wear the rings now is it?
Someone's gotta.
No. 167394
>>167379women don't get married just to get their hands on 'shiny pebbles', dude. and honestly it says more about your own opinions of women that you judge every one with a diamond on their finger as materialistic, stupid and manipulative. If everyone thought the way you did, nobody would ever treat their significant other to any kind of special gift or occasion. Diamonds? Just shiny rocks. A dozen roses? They're going to wilt in a couple days, what a waste of money, the florist industry is a gyp. Dinner at a nice restaurant? Man, women are such greedy, materialistic whores, making her cuck boyfriend spend his hard-earned cash on overpriced salads and bread rolls.
ffs, it's common knowledge that 'romance' is expensive as fuck and mostly useless, but people still buy into it because it makes them
happy.
No. 167396
>>167394You entirely missed the point of what it was I was ranting about.
I don't hate the marriage industry, I hate the De Beers company and their scam that morons like OP keep buying into see despite knowing it's a scam. Like, they know it's a scam. They know it hurts people. They know they're being scammed. They know. But they do it anyway. Even though they know. Why.
>>167395It's mitigatable to an extent Anon.
Honestly as a student in the West, you really need a computer. It's an essential in the modern era. I don't feel good about it but I know it's a necessity.
A scam rock isn't an essential, and it's a stupid purchase too.
No. 167397
>>167395My bad, this was directed towards
>>167386.
>>167396Wow, you are a bigger hypocrite than I even thought. You don't 'need' a computer, you don't 'need' to be a student, you don't 'need' to be in the west. You don't get a pass just because you, like, totally need this laptop, you don't understand anon! Face it, you're just as self-serving and selfish as everyone else. At least that anon has a husbando and a diamond ring to show for it.
No. 167398
>>167396you clearly don't get it, dude.
my point is that any romantic gesture can be seen as a 'scam', if that's how you want to portray it. Singling out diamonds doesn't make sense, if you're willing to stand by what you said previously; there are plenty of practices out there just as overpriced and just as needless. Most companies price their products at a dramatic mark-up from the actual cost of production. You can call it a scam, but it's kind of standard business. really what seems to be pushing your buttons is just that companies like De Beers were way too effective with their advertising campaigns. The diamond industry single-handedly created a world-wide tradition with merely some well-placed marketing campaigns. I can see why you'd be annoyed with these companies because of this, but I don't understand why you'd take it out on a bride-to-be. If it bothers you so much, just insist on a different kind of ring when you get married, yourself.
Imho, I think most guys go to diamonds as the default because it represents a significant financial investment in the relationship, as well as their own financial capacity to provide for their wife and a potential family. Maybe this was why it got off the ground in the first place. So maybe blame the grooms for their 'materialistic' choices, but I'm pretty sure that most brides don't get to pick out their own engagement ring (as opposed to wedding band) because the proposal is supposed to be a surprise.
No. 167399
File: 1461187749854.jpg (35.3 KB, 427x276, labdiamond.jpg)
I'm getting a lab created diamond. No ethical issues to worry about, cheaper than the real deal, and they look fucking identical so I can get a bigger badder looking ring. problem(s) solved.
No. 167401
>>167399An environmentally and fiscally aware farmer? Oh my days I'm getting a case of the vapours.
What are you going to say to those people who try to claim that it doesn't give you the same "status" though.
No. 167402
>>167396Okay it's IP again and ill say it again.
My diamond is fucking antique, and your assumptions about me are retarded. Go cry about minerals and Jewish people to someone who gives a fuck about the debeers. You're throwing a tantrum about shit you've guessed at and you still can't seem to see how you're a retard.
What's the point?
(derailing) No. 167404
>>167403Holy shit you think I'm the only other anon in this thread?
My god you're embarrassing.
No. 167407
File: 1461286850692.jpg (70.78 KB, 400x600, 2016.jpg)
Re: engagement rings
I think the "classic" rings look tacky. I don't want my bf buying me expensive jewelry or an expensive rings and I'd feel so good with something more sentimental that reminds me of him, like a simple silver band engraved with something would be so much more genuine and touching. Something inspired by our relationship rather than a magazine.
Its sad because my ex bf bought me diamonds (which I sold, gg) and he ended up being a cheater. I hate it when people are image-obsessed. Someone that treats you genuinely is so much more important, someone that actually loves you is so much more important.
As for a wedding, I actually do want one but only as an excuse to wear a cute dress like pic related, I'd want it to be small (tbh it would be kinda cute to elope and do something cliche like have it on a beach while the sun is setting or something).
No. 167408
File: 1461302594541.jpg (65.6 KB, 602x558, allure-bridals@2x.jpg)
>>167407Yeah I think I'd only like a "classic" ring if it was something sentimental or important to him/his family. And kek my reason for ever getting married would also be for the dress.
No. 167409
>>167407>>167408These are absolutely gorgeous! I wish I had more excuses to wear grand dresses like these.
I really hate that strapless wedding dresses are so common. I feel like they don't look good on anyone, especially if you're flabby and don't have toned arms.
No. 167413
File: 1461350704556.png (79.91 KB, 217x205, ring.png)
re: engagement rings
i'm really happy with my simple solitaire (its exactly what i asked for)
sometimes i see bigger flashy rings and kind of want them. but then again i think they look too costumey.
to highlight my simple engagement ring, i picked out and bought myself my wedding band.
i'm really happy and i'm having the ceremony next week
No. 167416
>>167409Say Yes To The Dress has given me a deep-seated disgust to strapless dresses.
So many flabby-armed hicks
shudders No. 167419
>>167309>Tacky awful things to avoidspending money on a ring because an advertisment agency told you that that is what you supposed to do and then showing it off to your friends
I hope you and your husband are happy together and if you feel like getting married is a good decision then good wishes to both of you, but PLEASE don't buy into the hype and spend shittons of money on useless stuff because it is "tradition" and "everybody does it".