File: 1687995092941.jpg (12.32 KB, 300x250, FkttSr3VQAAxhqD.jpg)
No. 1619908
what ails you?
previous:
>>>/ot/1612409 No. 1619933
File: 1687997003242.jpeg (187.95 KB, 1242x1229, IMG_1993.jpeg)
PMDD makes me wanna kms. Summer makes me want to kms. I barely have done anything this week and somehow have 10 mosquito bites. I scratch and scratch until it’s just a big scab that I get embarrassed of. I’m burnt out on TOTK and have no energy for creative hobbies so I’ve just been staring at my phone for 2 days. I tried a new recipe today and it sucked. Reeee I need a hug
No. 1619943
File: 1687997616277.jpg (77.71 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg)
In 4th grade we had a contest to write a short book.
The best one would get published.
Of course they showed us examples of past winners.
And one of them was about a girl, of the same age, and her last days with a terminal illness.
Exploit dreams much?
No. 1619978
File: 1688001291635.jpg (426.85 KB, 1753x2102, superiorjanny.jpg)
Mental illness incoming, nonas. Enjoy the fresh cringe.
I hate myself. I hate that I really enjoyed living with other girls in a dorm for two years. it makes me feel creepy and pathetic. I am a weirdo, a socially disabled retard worth less than everyone else that learned how to speak many years after other people, and I am sure they just tolerated me. I just tried to have fun and be inoffensive. Arcades, games, movies, restaurants, clubs, we went to so many places together. And sometimes I go weeks without thinking of them but I keep dreaming of them because my subconscious loves backstabbing me. Missing real people sucks especially when you're basically Frankenstein's monster, so even if you have fun, the memories are poisoned by how deformed, ugly, boring, and socially awkward you are. It's like for a tiny bit I lived as someone that wasn't me and the cognitive dissonance fucks me up. I loved my dormmates and I loved being around them. Fuck, I even loved the little things like walking with J to the store every day and joking around and gossiping. I rather have no good memories at all. For some reason "bad" memories feel completely numb to me in comparison. Fuck, I even miss my childhood best friend. I don't have the right to moan about that because she messaged me recently saying she wanted to hang out several times and I turned her down. I had to kick my own crusty ass just to send, "I do miss you though I've been dealing with some things lately!" I ran some simulations in my head, though, and I am convinced that even if I tried rekindling something, I'd simply be an imposter of who I seemed to be back then. A more bent, wretched me. I used to be insecure and afraid I'd be unable to live up to the times where I acted like a normal human being. But I tried, and I reveled in trying. I had pride. Goals. I never turned down an opportunity to have fun or chill with a good friend. Did I snap? Or was I always like this? I was born to parents that violently beat me and hated me; I wished for god (no I don't believe in god kek) to have it be so I was never born every night. To not smite me, but erase my entire history. Yet as I grew I tried to be someone and live the life I wanted. Now I want the blank space inside me to cancel out every other feeling. I want to go back before anything good happened, before anything happened at all.
No. 1619980
>>1619978Tl;dr
you have self esteem issues not retardation or social skill issues, reach out / take a trip to visit some of them. Sorry your parents did a number on you, don’t listen to the little voice in your head that says you’re broken that’s your parents talking
No. 1619997
File: 1688003393823.jpg (85.63 KB, 640x601, 292b8b1a6c8e79d5d5a4bde9b511f8…)
I've literally been crying all night, about so many different things. I've been trying my best to push through, but here I am awake at 4 am and upset about things I can't control. I need to love myself more and work through insecurities, I need to get back to therapy.
No. 1620007
File: 1688004417952.png (96.41 KB, 446x473, 3kk9xq.png)
I am absolutely sick of my dry cough. Every time I try to drink anything even slightly cold, I end up coughing for hours on end. All I want is some chilled water and juice to cool off in this scorching heat, but no! My cough has to ruin everything.
No. 1620099
File: 1688014318455.jpg (48.72 KB, 344x477, tumblr_m45oqcKWNl1qzqjwgo1_400…)
Friends around me are getting married and starting families, and I'm starting to feel a bit left behind as they are starting their new lives. I'm happy for them, but idk what to make of myself. I have no interest in becoming a mom, not even a step-mom. I have been single for a few years now because I hate 90% of all men and the 10% I'm into don't like me back, but I refuse to settle so it is what it is. I would love to get married but I'm also happy with just me and my cat.
I know it sounds like I'm having a crisis or feeling old, but I'm not. But it feels like it all changed so suddenly, it feels like it was just recently we would get drunk on wine on the balcony late at night and joke about future families and all of a sudden we're in that future and there is no going back. It's probably me that is still immature and a bit lost in life while everyone else got their shit together. I have so many complicated feelings about it all.
No. 1620114
File: 1688016434188.jpg (45.3 KB, 1024x1024, 1682969222214563.jpg)
>>1620103that's so cute
nonny, I wish you a long life of happiness with your nigel.
No. 1620120
File: 1688017317592.jpg (160.38 KB, 1280x1113, the ascension begins.jpg)
>>1620103I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND I LOVE MY HUSBAND TOOOOO
No. 1620129
I am scared, and also positive that these will be my best years of my life (discounting this stressful summer where I'm moving to live from my family to a shabby student dorm and looking for a job). Am at uni right now, at the very start of my 20s, have a sizeable group of female friends and we all get along great, it's a lot of fun, and a very big upgrade from my loner years at HS. BUT, something inside me just KNOWS, that after uni, we'll gradually drift apart, they'll all be starting families (or a majority of them) and so naturally they will focus on that, while I stay alone and at best, sometimes chat with my work acquaintances, having done a full 360, practically being back to how everything was at HS. This scenario feels so real that's it's scary. It's just one of those intuition based feelings that you just know are right.
No. 1620134
>>1620121It's not that I feel pressured to get married or start a family, getting married is something I always dreamed of but the thought of getting kids is something I've always been open about not even being an option for me.
I think what I'm struggling with is all this change and feeling like I'm going to be left behind as they move on to different phases in life that I can't relate to.
No. 1620224
File: 1688035844451.jpg (9.45 KB, 275x262, 1687453499624.jpg)
I finished my final exams, passed everything I wanted but instead of feeling relieved, I'm super anxious. I think I know why, I am coming down from all the energy stimulants I used to be able to study for 10 hours a day for over a month, I had no exercise and didn't socialise much. But now when I socialise it's like I forgot how to do it. Words come out jumbled. I can't get my ass to do anything but scroll phone or watch trash on YouTube. I don't even have motivation to play games that I was so looking forward to. My brain really wants me to use more stimulants but I know not to because I need my liver to not die.
No. 1620254
File: 1688038196416.jpg (20.14 KB, 480x479, EtPDn_mXMAYcEWW.jpg)
In my culture, I've to kiss everyone I greet in the cheek, all the time, men and women, and it's so damn stressing specially when it's about greeting men, I hate it. I feel so alone venting about this because everyone tells me it's not a big deal but it feels so wrong to me, it got to the point I pretended to be as tomboyish as possible so people would greet me like they greet men: shaking hands, no kisses, because I hate it so much. You know how many men have taken advantage of me because of that? How many awful people I was forced to physically interact with? I hate it, its hellish. Men look at me like I've two heads when I tell them I don't want to kiss or hug them, cause they're expecting it and you can see how pissed they get when I reject them, I got sexually assaulted by two men who also wanted to kiss me, I just want people to respect my damn boundaries, why is always so forced?
I wish I just could get used to it, that it went as smoothly as it does for everyone else, but physical closeness and saliva give me severe anxiety for some reason, it ruined my social life. I've been CSAs and assaulted so many times, as a woman, I just want everyone to leave my body alone, i'm not a toy
No. 1620260
>>1620256divorce his ass already, don't let him ruin things for you more than he has
and tell her how you feel and let her choose for herself what she wants to do
No. 1620262
>>1620254Same here. My family kept doing it too and I hated it, as a little girl I did not want older men near me. I still feel uncomfortable, I don't even like handshakes, I know exsctly where your hand has been, scratching your balls and ass and sniffing it, holding your dick to pee without washing it, I KNOW.
I lived in Japan and Korea for a while and they bow and although it took time to get used to it's the best greeting ever.
No. 1620275
>>1620268Nta, how it usually goes for me is I come in all smile and politeness, and the more polite I am the more the doctor thinks they can act condescending, sigh in my face and pout their mouths at me. People need to be cordial, doctors don't get more leeway to be counts just because they think their job is hard, which I'm sure it is but that's no excuse to become an embittered cunt.
Funny how when I'm not smiling and not being polite myself they tend to talk straight with me, almost as if they realize I won't stand for disrespect.
Please learn the difference between basic respect, rudeness, and being "customer service" as you call it, rude bitches
No. 1620303
>>1620207Like
>>1620263 touched upon, women were killed in masses for being accused of witchcraft, and women are still being killed in certain parts of the world for it. To call yourself a witch and claim you are being raped by demons at night or play around with spells and curses comes off as rather insensitive. None of the women who were often accused of being witches did this as a practise. These were words that came out of 8 year old girls who were tortured until they made up confessions about being assaulted by the devil in order to make it stop, and still get burned, beheaded or drowned for it. Women who were accused of being witches back in the day were simply women practising medicine, or just women who looked too pretty or too ugly for a man's standards or simply chosen as a scapegoat for a man having no luck in his life. I don't mind women taking back the word "witch" for themselves, but not by being as delusional about demons and gods like the Christians who burned them used to be.
No. 1620304
File: 1688044162959.jpeg (134.93 KB, 1078x1071, 71DA6FC7-20DF-43F4-A90F-9CEEAF…)
Online friend's mom finally got a restraining order on his dad but they're all constantly worried the dad is gonna show up again and do something crazy. I genuinely wish I could help them but they live so far away that all I can do is sit and say "don't worry, I'm here for you." I just want them to be safe and not have to worry they're all dead until my friend decides to message me.
No. 1620308
Learn to lie, cheat, manipulate and do this whenever you have a chance to gain anything. There's no shame in doing any of those things. If people offer to help you ,accept it, even if you know they expect something in return (especially men). You don't owe anything to anyone.
Today's world mostly doesn't reward kindness, honesty, hard work. You're taken for a fool and others will use you. I was punished again and again for being honest and kind. I got fed up after years.
Men always whine about women doing those things but I've seen plenty of men do this to gain a variety of things (climb up the social ladder, get promoted at work etc).
Take it from a mid 30s nonnie who was the kind,nice girl and who went through a lot of sadness and heartbreak and didn't understand why people are so mean and don't reward honesty.
Hard work and sincerity are things you need to keep to yourself and very close friends/family. Most people aren't worth your time and energy.
These are things I wish I had learned when I was young ,it would've spared me a lot of suffering and heartache.
It's an awful world we live in and the sooner you thicken your skin, the better.
No. 1620309
File: 1688044749897.jpg (27.88 KB, 405x344, 31b064710fbccbf639c0c843e3b612…)
It feels like I'm not supposed to exist. Like I was supposed to kill myself a long time ago and I'm currently overstaying my welcome. I don't belong here, this is not my place. Is that why I feel so lonely? Is that why I always feel like I don't belong anywhere? Has any other nonna felt this way?
No. 1620319
File: 1688046260532.png (1.17 MB, 998x1023, IMG_1465.png)
>>1620309you belong here to bring forth chaos. leave a trail of destruction behind you everywhere you go, throw a middle finger up to whatever decided to let you live and make them regret it. survive out of spite.
No. 1620324
>>1620314I used to be super socially autistic too but the shit I went through bruteforced changed me.
>Just don't treat those weaker than you like shitmost of those people are usually honest and kind and don't expect anything in return, in a way they are how I was and I treat them in the same way (good)
the normies who act like shit to them I make sure to punish if possible, as vengeful as it may sound, because they're part of the category of people who fucked me up in the first place Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth.
No. 1620343
File: 1688049015769.gif (911.08 KB, 268x300, 70f3b0ffb7d8283eee6b199d3d512e…)
My sister keeps wanting to hang out with me and I don't want to. I don't like her, no matter how hard I try to, I just don't. I don't want to force myself to hang out with her so I've been ignoring her. She can't take no for an answer, but if I answer yes just to keep her happy I'm doing myself a disservice. She has never in her life ever cared about what I want or my happiness. She only wants to hang out because "we're family" and because she's had a baby recently who she wants me to meet. But I don't want to.
I'm just kind of afraid she'll snap if I continue ignoring her, I don't know what she'd do though. And I don't know what else to do other than ignore her. I wish I could move really far away so she'd stop pestering me to hang out. Can't ask me to if I live in another country or something.
I don't want her in my life at all.
I really hate people who view "family" the way she does. I don't view her as my family. We're half siblings who look nothing alike and she pretty much abandoned me at an early age so the few memories I do have of her are just her annoying me. She remembers me a lot more than I remember her because she's a lot older. She doesn't even consider that I don't remember much about her at all because I barely remember anything below the age of 14, which isn't that abnormal is it? Well, she never considers things from my side at all.
She makes me out to be some traitor because I don't want to be around my "family". I don't think there's any way I could explain to her that I do not and never have seen her as family without her snapping. I didn't choose to be born with these people and we've never gotten along so why should I be forced to fake love just because we share some blood and grew up together. And we barely grew up together anyway. Your chosen family is much more important in my eyes.
She snaps at damn everything though. I just view her as this random woman I don't really get along with or have anything in common with but that I have a social obligation to keep in my life.
I think she's both pathetic and selfish for wanting to desperately hang out with someone who wants nothing to do with her just because that someone has the same mother as her. During all of this, is she thinking about how I feel at all? If I want to hang out with her?
Of course not. She's just thinking "anon is my little sister so she has to hang out with me and meet my baby because we're family"
Every single time we meet up we either run out of things to say (because we have nothing in common) or get into arguments (because we don't get along) so why the hell she hangs onto her retarded idea of family is beyond me. I don't understand a damn thing about her and she doesn't understand a damn thing about me. I've been ignoring you for the past year but you think if you keep messaging me this time I'll suddenly want to hang out with you? I don't understand why she wants to anyway other than "because you're my sister!". Yeah I am, so what? I didn't ever choose to be or want to be! Fuck, I really wish there was some way I could tell her "please stop contacting me" without a bunch of drama happening that I do not have the mental energy to deal with. Every single person around me but my bf will just tell me "you have to do it because she's family, you have to love your family" or because "but she loves you"
She doesn't love me at all. She just thinks she does. And even if she does love me, I shouldn't be forced into "loving" her back.
It's always the same with everyone.
I have to love him because he's my father, I have to love her because she's my sister. What if I don't love anyone I'm blood related to? Because I don't. They've treated me horrible all of my life but nope I have to love them because blood is thicker than water or whatever. If I could do it easily with no reprocussions I would completely abandon them and never see any of them again tomorrow.
No. 1620350
>>1620343Tell her you're busy with work and whatnot. You have your own life as well. It sucks she can't accept that, but it's the reality. You're your own person and keep a reminder you have control of your life as well. Don't feel obligated to answer her right away. I have family who hit me up at first chance and I'll go a week without answering them because I just don't check my phone or social media. It's gotten to the point of me disappointing them that they do not reach out to me as often, and that's satisfying my life in the end of it all. It doesn't matter if someone's family, you have boundaries. You don't have to like or love the people you're related to because we're humans in the end and we can still disagree with many things, even if we grew up in the same house, because we have personalities and minds of our own. Gain more independence for yourself, anon. It's healthier for you and your sister. Don't give into her requests. Set those boundaries because later on, it's gonna a much easier future for you and your sister.
She'll be a more focused parent because she won't be relying on you to take of this baby she gave birth to. I get her cry for help, but she has to understand there's more options and people out there who are more than welcome to take care of your baby. Strangers. But that's a sign for her to be a better and involved parent instead of dumping a baby on the rest of the family.
No. 1620392
>>1620382read that email, nonna. the longer you let it sit, the worse you're going to feel. rip the band-aid off and move on with your life! you can do it! don't hold yourself hostage like this!
if it turns out as badly as you think it will, come back to this thread and vent about it some more. it'll be okay.
No. 1620395
>>1620392THANK YOU
I know this is lame but I told myself "I'll post in the vent thread about not wanting to read this e-mail and if one anon replies saying I should do it right now I will do it that instant" and the contents of the email weren't the worst case scenario I was expecting at all, it's a relief. I unironically would've probably procastinated reading it the rest of the evening if you hadn't told me to fucking read it. So thanks, really.
No. 1620396
>>1620393>I don't know how to defend myself anymoreMaybe you don't need to?
What sort of accusations were they? If this stuff is untrue you could always take the piss out of the ridiculous claims, JKR style.
No. 1620467
File: 1688063069654.jpg (43.32 KB, 900x600, sunset.jpg)
Oh nonas my heart is broken: today my beloved bird has passed away. I wrote about him last year maybe, he was sick but with treatment he was able to live a good life, until last week. I miss him so much, and his bird friend is calling after him. This was the right call, as he was wasting away, but I'm sad because my friend of almost twelve years is gone. Love you forever my little bird, I'll always remember you and we'll meet again someday!
No. 1620495
>>1620490Wasn't talking about fat patients
nonnie, just hanging out with med students the amount of judgement and
victim blaming you hear when (again) it's not your place or your job, you're not a sociologist, you're a medic. Don't judge your patients and consider yourself a gift to humanity, it's simple
No. 1620501
File: 1688065315253.jpg (6.74 KB, 498x398, tumblr_7cc25df77d5f0fe2819f436…)
My life is shit, and I'm the one who made it this way, but I've had a bad hand of cards since birth. Like I'm actually retarded and I make a lot of mistakes, and I'll try to own up to the shit I do but how could I have predicted some of the shit that would happen to me? I know no one knows what's gonna happen in life but it really feels like I have some shit luck. Damn it all…
No. 1620583
>>1620555Please don't get an implant
nonnie they are so dangerous and cause so many health issues it's hard to even count. Small boobs are beautiful
No. 1620594
Okay I have a dilemma, I don't like my mom's she's annoying, has the brain of a 10 year old, always treated me like shit and gave me so much trauma I don't even wanna get into it but it's all due to her stupidity and underdeveloped emotional state. Same with my dad who's been a very selfish person and who hurt me a lot when I was a kid. Also they never appreciate me and are always saying nice things about other people's kids esp my mom even when I know for a fact I'm better than those kids, it's like the grass is always greener. Type of mom to say "wow those kids are so well behaved they never even move" when she has only seen them for 5 minutes. Absolutely dumb and she has always been like this. It makes me so tired and sad because I never got to experience what a mother should actually be like imo, I wish I could want kids so that I'd treat them the way I wanted to be treated but I hate the notion of childbirth and it's not really that appealing to me, I just wish It could somehow fix that part of me.
Anyway my dilemma is relative to how I think about parents, I'll probably be making decent money and they will be waiting for me to settle their medical bills and take care of them -pretty much only reason they had kids I think, aside from just social norms- I don't think it's fair as I personally would never expect that from a kid. But truth is they did sacrifice a lot, sometimes they do something for me that requires sacrifice and I feel so guilty and pity them a lot, but it still doesn't change the fact that I hate them as people and wish I was never born to them. Like I absolutely despise them.
How can I be happy? Do I do the stoic thing and forgive and do my duty? Would I feel better if I just did me and never cared about them living or dying? Would I regret it later if they died? Please answer me
No. 1620622
>>1620581I want to. I just don't know how to. Sometimes I want to ask people how but it always seemed like one of these things you're supposed to know instinctively.
>>1620586>>1620596There's a lot I want to do and be but it's so puzzling. The mechanics of socialization, of being around the right people at the right time. I don't know.
No. 1620646
File: 1688078100604.jpeg (1.08 MB, 3465x3465, EB885936-5B10-484F-B9CB-C4A19A…)
I probably whine about this all of the time at this point. But I just can’t fucking believe how my family will bend over backwards so my brother can stay being a lazy fuck at home.
I don’t give a tiny single little fuck if he has to live for the rest of his life in a house full of roaches. But I fucking hate how he’s unable to do anything at home, even if his girlfriend is staying with us, he treats her like a maid, and I always make sure to tell her that such things are unfair and that he’s being a misogynistic piece of shit.
But love does manage to cloud anyone’s brains I guess.
So now I have to take care of the house while the maid that helps us at home is sick.
I literally don’t mind doing any housework, I had to learn how to do things properly on my own during the pandemic after all, I actually help the maid throughout the day when I don’t have a job because it’s just common sense, you know, not wanting the house to look like shit and making sure the maid isn’t doing absolutely all of the work because she’s a human and she gets tired as well.
I told my aunt that I will need him to at least do the dishes at night, since it’s when he gets home, because I will be tired as fuck cleaning the house, washing clothes, ironing clothes, making all of the meals of the day and the meals of the next day so his assness can go to work.
But she told me that I was being unreasonable because he was raised to never do anything and that I can’t change those paradigms he has about housework.
What?
Like. what?
I find it funny that my family tells me that I’ve always been a feminist because I have common sense, and I’m being told I’m a feminist in a pejorative way. Because I don’t want to be my brother’s maid, I absolutely hate, despise, deplore, how my brother is unable to do a tiny bit more than the bare minimum and, I don’t know, take the dirty dishes he used to the kitchen or clean his ducking toilet.
But what I hate the most it’s how my family thinks this is all funny and just a silly thing and that I’m being dramatic and unreasonable.
No. 1620699
i wish my family had been honest with me about how people really are and how the world really works. i was raised, like i am sure many people are, to believe that being kind and generous and a good person will make life easier. but in reality being kind and generous and a good person just puts a target on your back. there are so many evil, amoral, degenerate motherfuckers walking around in the world and no amount of goodness will stop them or make them NOT hurt you. in fact sometimes just being nice to them makes them even angrier, it's very strange. and the sad thing is, when i look back on my childhood memories, i saw so many of the adults in my life having the same issues over and over again - being good and then being taken advantage of, people backstabbing them, betraying them. it's like they never learned. and i remember too, my family giving me a hard time for not trusting people or having negative reactions to certain individuals who would inevitably hurt them in someway. i've had to unlearn a lot of this stupid conditioning the hard way. i think you should be a good person, but you should also be aware of how terrible most people are and be prepared accordingly to deal with their bullshit. because sometimes just doing the right thing, having values, standing true to what you believe will automatically have sadistic vultures swooping in to attack you. the world is a very sad and cruel place and if i ever have kids i will make sure to teach them everything i've learned.
No. 1620718
File: 1688086077592.jpeg (95.75 KB, 935x832, IMG_1116.jpeg)
i'm living with my mom for the summer while i'm not at my college and i thought it would be nice but it's just not. everytime we interact it's so hard not to think of all the times we've fought, all the names she's called me, all the times she's hit me, etc. it's weird because even when we're having a genuinely nice interaction that's all i can think of. we don't argue nearly as much as we used to but when we do it's a huge blowout and will take a lot out of me for a few days. i love her and would say that we're close regardless of this but it just makes it difficult either way.
idk what i was expecting. i think not living with her for the past 9ish months made me think it would be different
No. 1620726
File: 1688087452674.jpg (60.63 KB, 749x710, tumblr_pkolsh8Ua31vgu63y_1280.…)
I just went to some AI character chat to flert a little with my husbando and the gayass bot rejected me. I humor the bot a little and, accidentally, I enter on a tangent about religion and the true meaning of being lonely. The bot says that my husbando is gay and would never be with me or even touch me.
I'm about to punch the wall.
No. 1620748
File: 1688090635528.gif (1016.79 KB, 220x220, 1651095407366.gif)
My cat died this week because of my mom's negligence having something toxic just lying on the ground where the cat could eat it. But she doesn't understand why I'm so torn up over "just a cat".
I miss him so much it hurts. I miss how he would come running to me when I came home everyday. He knew what time I usually come home so he would sit by the door and wait until he heard the gate open. Even on my worst days once I saw him coming to greet me I would start to feel better. Now when I open the gate I still half expect to see him running towards me meowing excitedly and then the realization hits me that he'll never do that again. He just turned 1 last month.
Rip my sweet kitty.
No. 1620755
File: 1688091295220.jpg (49.31 KB, 670x450, images.jpeg-21.jpg)
>>1620748I'm so sorry nonna my sweet cat also died suddenly due to parvo so I understand I'm so sorry for your loss and may your sweet kitty rest in peace
No. 1620775
File: 1688093259291.jpeg (12.89 KB, 215x235, IMG_3171.jpeg)
I hurt my neck somehow and it’s bugging the fuck out of me
No. 1620777
>>1620755Sorry for ur loss as well
nonnie, may both our kitties have infinite cat treats in cat heaven
>>1620761You've given me a great idea Nona, I will print out his cutest photos and make a small album just for him and decorate it
No. 1620872
File: 1688104004771.jpeg (20.21 KB, 585x329, B8CA6534-6353-43A9-9E80-0A0A0B…)
When I was 14 years old I had an account on a forum. I had beef with another user on this forum because he was posting about me in 4chan threads and calling me annoying. In response I took a photo of myself with a timestamp. It had my username on it and it said You Will Never Be A Woman (the guy harassing me was trans) because I was a retard 14 year old. I deleted my account on the forum of photo is still floating around in the 4chan archives years later.
I’m seriously afraid that it’s gonna come back to haunt me. I’m concerned about my digital footprint. I’m about to apply for college and I’ll worry they’ll figure it up somehow. The 4chan archive says I need to email them for takedown requests but they don’t have a contact email up
No. 1620875
File: 1688104269828.jpg (275.32 KB, 1680x1506, Ft0BPLoaYAA873H.jpg)
play stupid games win stupid prizes i get it. but holy shit i hate hate HATE this surge of transmasc "femboy" shit. now THIS is draw a girl call ti a boy. go away you absolute donkeys reeeeee
No. 1620885
File: 1688105350696.jpeg (41.95 KB, 673x715, 13F1F0D6-02DC-4BD2-AC03-B86E19…)
Will smoking weed once or twice a week as an eighteen year old actually make me me retarded and stunt my brain development
No. 1620899
File: 1688106606068.gif (2.82 MB, 496x280, IMG_4353.gif)
>>1620885i live by this quote as a 22 y/o adult. IMO weed should be a fun occasional thing like drinking alcohol, stoners who have to smoke every day as soon as they wake up are retarded, I don’t even think the weed fries their brain I think it just makes them assholes who think they’re so edgy and enlightened when really they’re fat and lazy
No. 1620955
>>1620909Legalizing it doesn’t mean everyone will suddenly start smoking all day. I live in a state where it’s completely illegal even medically and tons of people still smoke constantly so I don’t see a point in being for prohibition.
>>1620911True I think those people are so much better off than being on other pharmaceutical drugs. I quit weed last month because I noticed I started smoking too often. It was really helpful for my mood instability and irritability but worsened my depression somehow. I think I might pick it up again after a while and only smoke during my PMDD hell week
No. 1621024
File: 1688120242597.png (11.74 KB, 500x232, 44fryw.png)
>>1621022I'm so jealous, I always hope they tell me I'm taller but I am stuck in the same stupid midget height
No. 1621064
>>1621059I gave up arguing with men, they have no logic and will always bring some whimsical point of view and you have to speak their language it feels like fooling a child into thinking logically. I totally get what you mean. I know this guy who's always bringing up surface level understanding of philosophy and psychoanalysis, like he doesn't even understand the actual point the writer / philosopher made but will still use it as an argument of authority even though THAT IS NOT WHAT THEY SAID
Omg
No. 1621066
>>1621064Another thing is that he will say something completely innacurate and asinine but if I tell him it's stupid he'll get this stupid smirk on his face and rephrase it in a nicer way like I'm moral fagging when I literally couldn't care less, I just get
triggered by innacuracy and by the realization that I'm talking to a dummy (it's so discouraging)
But ofc I'm a woman so I'm probably just hung up over the morality of it because you know how women think with their emotions :))) MOTHERFUCKER YOU'RE THE ONE USING AN EMOTIONAL SOLIPSISTIC POINT OF VIEW. they need to understand that mean =/= accurate. Fucking posers
(emoticon) No. 1621074
>>1621071God you're just insitenon arguing arent you. Where did I write that no women are like that? No where.
My point was that low IQ men ride on the IQ of a tiny percentage of intelligent men, not that women are stupid. Some women however clearly are, like you.
No. 1621158
File: 1688136860146.gif (3.11 MB, 498x359, bugs-bunny-looney-tunes.gif)
Have other nonettes been owning men recently?
>one guy watching my dog for free while I am away on business, daily videos and updates
>put useless moid director in his place for abandoning jobsite all for me to do while he attempted to gaslight me about it and is now in deep shit with VPs of our company bc I exposed him
>had the pleasure of firing a useless moid employee for being insubordinate
>hooked up with a young attractive moid with nice lips, a large cock, and can fuck forever while wanting to be my bf
>mfw counting through my 3,000 likes on Tinder to link with another muscle man and getting all the compliments for it to boot
No. 1621172
>>1621158Since middle school, they will do just about anything just for the
chance to have sex with women. Got an entire anime convention covered for me including food, a hotel room, and extra money for buying merch. Didn't sleep with a single man who has cashed me out. Some would get mad but they would apologize and continue to be my ATM.
No. 1621183
>>1621181 here is what it sounds like, classic food pressuring from an autist
"You won't die from one cookie"
"Come on, just have one"
"Really? You seriously won't eat it?"
starts to get autistically offendedFood choice pressuring, whether you're telling someone to eat something or not to eat something, is never okay, and leads to eating disorders. Trust your partner to make their own food choices because you are dating an adult, not a child.
No. 1621210
I think that maybe I'm retarded or too nice to people. Retarded for not seeing right away when things are going and too nice for not being able to tell people to go away. I'm a 27 year old anime loving girl and it was always been that way since I was in third grade, so I grew up with it. My childhood and teenage years were spent in cringe drawings and by then, I got used to people making fun of me so I learned to ignore their comments, just fuck off on my own and scribbling on paper but lately, talking about 2 to 5 years, anime has become so fucking mainstream that it also attracted fuckboys, people who don't know shit about it but want to show off and men who use it as some pick up line. I wrote all of this because the point is I'm used to get laughed at, okay? But I didn't care for years, I mean, it has been that way for 10 years, who cares, as long they leave me alone.
I got an ipad to draw, sometimes I go to the park or to cafes and such and I draw my shit and then some zoomer (I look younger than my age, if I dressed like a zoomer I would probably pass as one) approaches me and says "Hey, ahah, you like anime? Ahah me too, weird right?"
No it's not. It's mainstream.
"What are you drawing?"
"Personal stuff."
"Oh, I have a project too! It's like a yandere vtuber who's a vampire!" With what gear? Vtubing is not easy, you need model, rigging, cameras, facial recognition stuff, a good computer.
"…Cool."
Then they show me their phones with Ai made shit of the most generic and boring anime girl.
"Do you like it?"
"It's cute." Of course it is, it's ripped from actual good artists.
"How can I get better? I want to design some other characters"
"Uh-uh…"
"And maybe do a manga on my own!"
"Aight."
"Can you draw manga pages?"
"Not really, it's a different thing."
"Can I follow you on instagram?"
"I don't use it."
Keep in mind, I'm not a native speaker so maybe the way I write might come off odd, but if this was only happened once I'd let it go, but it's about the …fourth time? with different people? And they are all men.
While others may find it cute, to hear a guy being interested in your interests, I find it very cringe to pretend to know shit just to chat. Leave me the fuck alone please. Do not disturb people. My brain makes me reply to them because hey, at least they're not laughing at me but if the convo is a awkward as fuck and they just talk about their shit pretending to know how it works while I just want to draw it makes me extremely uncomfortable.
One time I had this guy on a share table (idk if it's called that way, starbucks in my countries have these long ass tables and you sit with strangers or strangers may sit with you) and they handed me their ipad with a sakimichan looking thing traced on procreate and he asked "what do you think? wink"
I'm not gonna fuck you just because you're showing me something that happens to be similar to what I do…jesus christ, please, leave me alone, go back to laugh at me please….
No. 1621234
File: 1688144346998.gif (944.15 KB, 275x265, 81020988-98DE-4663-AC24-287B3A…)
It’s miserable trying to date as an attractive woman. I’m no IG model but I’d say I am above average, especially for my state kek. Scrotes will butter me up in the beginning but never have any real long term intentions and eventually ghost me. They’ll act like I, the most amazing thing ever for having a basic form of consciousness (You know who John Lennon is? Wow, you’re so cool!) but have literally zero interest in getting to know me on a deeper level. Or when I do find a moid who likes me as an entire human we get close, we get attached, and because they’re too immature to handle their insecurities they eithe devalue me for months or completely implode the relationship leaving me heartbroken. Again, I’m not some super rich instagram model but I have my shit together in a lot of areas of my life and the fact that physically they think I have more options (I dont) leads them into getting extremely insecure and sabotaging something really special.
No. 1621239
File: 1688145209855.jpg (53.03 KB, 809x646, 20230612_170027.jpg)
Im a retard… I've been lying about my life to someone ive been seeing… Like… I hope i can correct the thing im lying about EVENTUALLY
Also i get so fucking anxious in the evening every day. I can never relax, i can never enjoy fun activities, i am so tired all the time
No. 1621247
File: 1688146115732.jpeg (41.62 KB, 504x495, 28E35BDC-DEAA-49CF-BE40-C9D051…)
I dislike my coworker, the noisy bitch can’t go a second without making a disgusting throat noise!
No. 1621365
>>1621345Obviously I don't know what you look like but sometimes photos can be really unflattering in a way that isn't representative of how you normally look to others. Especially with candids where you are in the middle of moving your face or body. Since you say it's a professional I'm going to assume it's a very high res photo too, in bright lighting, which tends to not exactly be very forgiving. I've seen two different candid photos of myself from the same day and I barely even looked like the same person in them.
I relate to how bad it can feel though. I sometimes think about how easily some cosmetic surgery, filler or botox or whatever could just erase my biggest insecurities that constantly make me feel ugly. It can feel tempting but I'd never do it because for me it also goes directly against what I stand for and believe in. I wouldn't be able to justify becoming part of what I believe to be a huge societal problem by getting ps, but damn does it feel bad to feel ugly.
No. 1621387
File: 1688157299218.png (12.84 KB, 420x294, 0798118dceba695fc9821ebc513b09…)
Oh, I hate the neighbours below me so much, they smoke 24/7 and use so much washing powder that you can smell it 3 houses away. It's the middle of the night here and I can't open my window to get some fresh air because the smell rising from their flat into mine is actually hurting me. My nose is burning, I have to cough every second and I'm getting a headache. And there is nothing I can do because it's all legal in my country and I would have to show a medical report that their emissions harm my health and then I would have to go to court for a battle that could take years. And then there is this fear that they might fall asleep while smoking, burning their flat down, leaving mine inhabitable. I guess I will have to move to a country where my health as a non-smoker is more important than their "freedom", I'm so done with constantly having to go out of my way to avoid secondhand smoke because the tobacco lobby is so strong in my country.
No. 1621394
File: 1688157584840.jpeg (105.08 KB, 956x853, 523F0885-9835-4FB1-B3D2-0F4366…)
i ran over a curb for the first time today. i was driving my mom’s car, thankfully i think the car is fine. but she yelled at me so fucking loud. i don’t blame her and she apologized but it made me feel like such a retarded child, i just immediately started ugly crying. and when it happened it made such a loud noise a lady inside the building we were at came outside to try and help us. i’m still so fucking embarrassed and my PMDD is getting bad again so naturally my retarded brain immediately jumped to suicidal thoughts. whatever, i’m just so over everything right now.
No. 1621396
File: 1688157659985.jpg (97.52 KB, 600x743, dulac_mermaid5_foam.jpg)
Even though I should feel like my life is going forward (moving in with bf, recently got a raise etc), I'm still depressed and regularly think of suicide. When I look at people around me I'm struck with envy because I used to be like them, I used to have goals and wants and would get excited about things and had hobbies. Nowadays I mostly have to force myself to do things that I used to enjoy in hopes that I would experience the same joy. I do not know how to get out of this. I've been in therapy for the past 10 years, been on medication, tried supplements etc and the feeling of worthlessness still comes back. I stopped doing literally everything because I know I cannot do anything right. Talking to people takes up an enormous amount of energy and I know I will fuck up and say something stupid, so I don't. At work I frequently get the feedback that I should be more open and approachable and often avoid my coworkers because I could get a random crying fits. I feel like a literal corpse. I do the bare minimum every day and I mostly just zone out watching Youtube videos and wait for the day to end. I don't know how to get out of this
No. 1621432
File: 1688160923488.jpeg (96.11 KB, 640x611, 86EF8EA8-7E17-4825-9CF9-45C324…)
I'm INTERNALLY YELLING AT MY FUCKING UPBRINGING. EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY I THINK ABOUT HOW YOUR OWN FUCKING FAMILY MEMBER RUINED MY LIFE FOREVER. YOU SINGLEHANDEDLY CHANGED THE COURSE OF MY LIFE, FUCKING 15 YEARS AGO. YOU RUINED ME, AND YET, WHEN YOU ASK FOR MONEY, I GIVE IT TO YOU, WHEN YOU ABUSED ME MENTALLY AND PHYSICAL, YOU FUCKING SHIT
FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING SHIT FUCK YOU.
No. 1621479
File: 1688163744497.gif (3.15 MB, 275x275, 0DA1B790-1342-4662-83D7-F25A76…)
>>1621426I hate summer just as much as you
nonny, but it sounds like your life would be greatly improved by investing in multiple fans. Also buy some soft ice packs to rotate between during the hottest parts of the day. It’s 90 outside but I’ve got cold water, an ice pack on my neck, and two fans aimed at me on my patio while I sit out here smoking. Tbh the heat is more manageable than the fucking BUGS. The bugs are my least favorite part of summer. Buzzing in my ears and covering me in welts. Also don’t like having to constantly be sticky with either sunscreen and/or bug spray. And I don’t like having to spend a bunch on citronella candles kek.
At least there’s no chance of encountering artificially heated air like in the winter.
No. 1621480
>>1621449Honestly I know this response won't be well-received, but I think you need to get over yourself and try your best to be there for your brother. It's naive to think your kid will never be exposed to things you disagree with, and if anything it's been proven that forcing children to be sheltered only makes them act out more. I wouldn't be surprised if your kid grew up to make "how I escaped my
abusive conservative household and paid for my top surgery" tiktoks with this line of thinking.
You should have a conversation with your family about your values and how to raise your child. Unless your brother is a Chris-chan tier psychopath, it's time to put down the propaganda and have an actual conversation with him about your opposing views. Teaching your children to be kind, understanding, and family-oriented is much more important than crying and throwing up at the thought of a man putting on makeup.
No. 1621529
>>1621449it isn't my intention to be mean here, but it's very interesting that your brother has decided that
now is the time to make this trans identity known, especially while you're pregnant. did you announce your pregnancy recently? your wedding? is he experiencing a sudden and unexpected turn in his life that's impacted him negatively? a lot of men that take on the trans moniker are pushed to do so out of jealousy, entitlement, (the coom), or a means to regain control of their lives. it's very stupid.
>>1621480imagine climbing up on your tranny soapbox to patronize a worried pregnant woman airing her frustrations over her shitty troon brother kek
did you know you can instill familial solidarity and positive values as you rear your children while
also cutting out a
toxic family member that stands to threaten your peace of mind? because it looks like you didn't ♥
No. 1621546
>>1621480>>1621487“Shelter” was perhaps the wrong word. I know I can’t keep my kids from knowing this stuff exists, but I cannot pretend it’s normal and okay, because it’s not.
>>1621529This crossed my mind but he told our other brother a year ago. I don’t doubt he struggles with some sort of self-image issues and I’m heartbroken for him but I’m not going to be able to look at him if he troons out. I’m so fucking sad. This is going to break my parents. We’re all adults and they shouldn’t have to deal with this in old age. I know I’d break his trust if I tel them, but I’m seriously considering it to help them adjust and get ahead of it. I don’t want them to fly off the handle and enable a
victim complex which will encourage him.
I’m just so sad.
No. 1621582
>>1621546This is personal, I don't like troons but I've had siblings tell on me for private shit while feigning kindness and best intentions, I'd say reconsider outing him because ultimately it's his business and he might reconsider, he might not tell them, you're just going to create drama to prevent drama and stripping him of his ability to have autonomy over his own life choices, secrets etc
I'm fully with you on asserting your boundaries but this would be overkill, not to mention it could do more harm than good
No. 1621623
>>1621609other than discord i don't know where else i'd report him to since it was an internet thing, knew him for 11 years though so i know as much about him as he does me, i do remember where he works(law based) but i don't know if i should take it that far and i'm unsure where else i'd report him at this point but this is really severe and i'm lost.
>>1621616neither of us are from the states but i do know it is illegal where both of us are
>>1621613honestly i'd kill us both we're disgusting, but i'm trying to grow each day
but yeah, i just hoped the guy would have stopped being a dickhead if i cut myself completely from anything related to him but apparently not
No. 1621661
>>1621645i'd hate to let it slide, the thought of doing that is infuriating but i'm just too cowardly to press charges though each time i am told about him via a mutual i just grow tired of his shit, i don't know how i looked up to this delusional dickhead for nearly 11 years.
>>1621636thank you nonna, i really appreciate it
No. 1621697
File: 1688190965314.jpg (21.01 KB, 704x526, mpv-shot0029.jpg)
having such a hopeless moment nonas. i'm so scared of the world. every other night i stay up until 4am so nobody will break into my apartment and do something to me. i don't even live in (that?) dangerous of an area, i'm right across the street from a hospital, the police department is a five minutes away. but i'm also anxious about nothing having any money. i need a job so bad but i really don't want to work customer service. i thought my degree (cs) would have gotten me something already but it has been months. i'm going to give my resume another look through and hope this interview for an apprenticeship i have this month (on my birthday no less) goes so freaking well. cramming so much shit. god
idk it just makes me sad that i'm too anxious about money and safety to go see that movie with the peaky blinders guy. i can't drive either. so tempted to just say "fuck it!" and get a uber, prepare to blow about $100 for the month, and just pretend to be someone else. but i'm ugly too. i'll just wear a face mask perhaps.
god i didn't think my twenties would be like this.
No. 1621704
>>1621687Machina X Flayon. He said he liked visual novels in his debut and I ignored him till a few weeks ago because he has a nice voice and feels like he's pandering to women. I also didn't know what exactly "plot heavy" VNs meant, turns out it's porn and mostly of lolis. A shame cause his drawing streams are comfy and he felt like a fun friend with more female internet spaces humour than male humour.
>>1621694You're right. I forgot that to be into vtubers, these men had to be watching loli models talk and cry like children, especially if they've been into vtubers for longer than like two years.
No. 1621772
File: 1688196341115.jpeg (24.07 KB, 512x512, 9AF2590F-FCC1-4FAE-AB0B-D2ABCA…)
Two days ago my boyfriend had no wifi so he asked me to log into his instagram to message a guy about a job, i ended up reading most of his conversations with his best friend and i'm like ??? because he's a totally different person. I discovered he fetishized black women and he said that he "doesn't like white girls" (i'm white btw) (this was before we knew each other but it doesn't matter, still creepy af). I also learned he used to have a lot of casual one-night stands and even almost had sex with a transexual because IT was "hot". Last thing i read was a message from May 11 saying that he really likes me but still think about some girl he never even met personally and that he would totally get in bed with her if he had a chance bc "she's so hot". I'm just creeped out af and haven't talked to him since then, i'm just SO in shock because to me he was a completely different person. I don't even believe all the things he said to his friend because he seems to make up stuff to make himself look "cool" and he's too socially awkward (like socially awkward AF) to have had so many partners as he claims but even still, i'm just - Christ on a cracker
like wHO TF IS THIS PERSON
Talking about hot girls he saw at the gym and bragging about women hitting on him and acting so mighty for "declining" them. lmao
Theres also messages about how "i'm perfect" and how we tooootally complete each other and how i changed his life, and this mixed with all that other stuff is just like HELL NAH, just pure schizophrenic incel hell
Tomorrow i'm going to his house and honestly idk even know how to address it but i feel i just can't even look at his face, i'm as disgusted as shocked. I haven't been able to sleep or eat, i'm disturbed af
Saddest thing is i loved him so much, i literally helped him to get his life on track. When i first met him he was passing through hard times financially and emotionally bc of his familly, i helped him with his needs and took him out of the house constantly so he wouldn't off himself, i remember him being really depressed and hurting himself and me getting him out of his house at 01AM and just holding him in my arms sitting at a empty parking lot and staying like this until the sun came out. I spent so many nights listening to this mf cry. I helped him finish his studies and helped him with gym stuff (he was so f skinny and was really ashamed of it), now he doesn't even look like the same person anymore and thanks to me. He's hot because of me. Like, bitch, I INVENTED YOU. How dare you
Last night his mom called me, she calls me every now and then and god, she likes me so much and was all excited trying to convince me to move with him and that we should get married. I was like ehrrr - i was feeling so bad i didn't even had the courage to open up to her about what i saw. He has this 3yo autistic sister that is so attached to me all i could do was think of her while i heard his mom talk.
For some people this might seem like i'm overreacting because most stuff i read was from before we knew each other and "people change", i do believe he changed in some things and he even talked about this to his friend a few times. But some things are just creepy and others make me really sad, like he talking about how he thinks of other girl sometimes. Deep inside i'm insecure as hell and i'm always comparing myself to others and this situation just made this a lot worse. I used to trust him and know i can't anymore and this sucks because now i know that if a girl he finds hot wanted to get with him he probably would just take the chance.
I literally can't sleep anymore after this, its 04AM here btw and all i can do is drink coffee, smoke and cry
No. 1621851
>>1621772> I don't even believe all the things he said to his friend because he seems to make up stuff to make himself look "cool"I love introverted and shy men but when you meet their group of friends and they act like you described, like a different person that makes shit up to seem cool but are actually dead last in their little social hierarchy, always run, no exceptions. These types of men are usually hardly liked by their friends and for good reason.
Dated two of these types when I was younger and learned my lesson.
I feel for you
nonnie. It sucks because you seem attached to his family.
No. 1621894
File: 1688204159689.gif (919.09 KB, 280x280, 4EC92256-38B2-4403-9070-394566…)
>>1621776>>1621780>>1621847>>1621851>>1621864Thanks for the advice, nonnies. I don't think i can ever see him as i used to again so it's totally over.
I will indeed confront him because i need to look him in the face when i say and show everything, i got the screenshots btw. I thought about calling or texting and just confronting him through the phone but i feel like this way he wouldn't get to feel how disgusted i'm with him. Btw he messaged me saying he misses me, i just replied "bet you do" lol
People tend to think i'm so passive and calm and good that they can do anything with me and i'll be just like "ok thats fine", hell no
Honestly, i'm so pissed i think ill just straight up print the screenshots and throw it at him, because if i leave it on my phone im capable of throwing it at his face like a freaking brick
No. 1621925
File: 1688208314769.png (68.81 KB, 500x500, IMG_3518.png)
For the first time in my 25 years of life I got so upset that I screamed at someone. I have never raised my voice before this, ever.
I called some psych reception late at night because I was spiralling and needed someone to talk to, anyone, about how hopeless I am about getting any sort of help for my mental health. Old unempathetic sounding woman answers and instead of listening to me she tells me some platitudes and then starts telling me to take a walk/shower (wants me to hang up) over and over in an extremely condescending way. I eventually lose my shit and start yelling at her but she doesn't give a single fuck either way lmao. Literally phoned it in
All that call did was make me want to kill myself more, but she put in her notes that I was not suicidal at all and "didn't follow her instructions. As long as you don't immediately answer their apathetic checklist questions so they can call the cops on you you're fine and at no risk whatsoever, even if you're talking about the train tracks. Didn't cut yourself? You're fine take a shower retard!!!
I feel bad but also still get angry thinking about how spiteful and patronizing she sounded. Why is mental health "care" like this and why should I keep living if the only support I've gotten despite being filed in the country's psych system since I was a child fucking ssris and old bitches that would laugh if I attempted suicide?
There is no hope for me, neither staff nor normal people I meet see me as a human being deserving of existence. I legit feel like every single person who looks at me or listens to me talk finds me ugly, disgusting, mentally handicapped and defective. I'm pretty sure it isn't even a delusion, since I've been bullied and treated like shit my entire life. I'd like to not become a bitter and hateful person but how do I even start when the world has never wanted me? In my family I'm Meg from family guy, I was literally invisible even though I was being sexually abused by boys in my teens. They wouldn't have noticed if I had started selling my pussy for heroin because my precious brothers were so more uwu mentally ill and important (I'm the permanently depressed friendless one but there's not much sympathy for me, since I should know better. I'm too ugly and embarrassing to be depressed and want attention and all my faults are personal)
No. 1621994
>>1621757I'm with this
nonnie, don't give him more importance he's a cockroach lol. Just dump and don't explain, I'm sure he'll put 1+1 together
No. 1621998
>>1621994 I meant to quote
>>1621894Like I'm sure you're hurt and pissed anon but let me tell you confronting him will just give him power over you and make him disrespect you further, that's how it always goes. Keep us updated though
No. 1622008
File: 1688220012616.jpg (37.14 KB, 828x741, 1687908559758.jpg)
Friend is having a birthday party soon. Said party will be full of men, some who said extremely misogynistic things("jokes")to me online years ago but I have no idea exactly who they are. The original server was deleted so I have no records of it. The party's been planned for two week so not going could be revenge for other things the owner did too. Conveniently I started my period last night and have the usual nauseating cramps so I can use this as an excuse. Party full of drunk men and less than 8 women or stay home and watch movies w/ my cat?
No. 1622025
File: 1688221795074.jpeg (197.41 KB, 1280x1127, B12A3101-9945-4172-AA5F-EB405E…)
Went to see a doctor for my skin since it's developing bumps. My doctor was actually confused about what it could be? I dropped maybe it's fungal acne or or a heat rash, got prescribed something for fungal acne but now I'm not too sure if it's actually fungal acne. It has no spread to my neck, my hands and almost my feet. I cannot think of what it could be…
No. 1622122
File: 1688233564323.jpg (47.92 KB, 800x450, crying.jpg)
I feel like this UTI is never going to go away. I just want to be normal again.
No. 1622190
>>1622189I mean, it isn't my fault that she's lonely. Right? She lives in a isolated condition. I feel like that me being rude to her is gonna worsen her condition, and potentially her low self-esteem
Plus, it is just rude and disrespect.
No. 1622221
>>1622215Why does it matter what type of art software she uses? I don't understand.
It's due to the subject matter. I made fun of her for it, and in turn…. I think I'll be making fun of her more if I decide to draw it. Like rubbing it in.
No. 1622262
>>1622221Like
>>1622224 said, it's a website where you basically trade drawings of ocs. It's an easy way to draw for someone else without making it awkward. In your case it should be fine if you just tell her that you aren't going to make fun of her anymore though
No. 1622301
>>1622190You're pretty cool to be considerate of her like that. Just treat people as people regardless.
I think it's because people don't really care about the opinion of a lonely/autistic person so they'll say whatever to them
No. 1622312
File: 1688247739309.jpg (29.97 KB, 622x536, 70912917af21750879759abef380b6…)
>>1622306>higher risk of having belly fat OOOHHH MYH GOD BELLYFAT? NOOOOOOO ITS GHE END OF YHE FUCKING WORLD,!!!!1!!!
No. 1622326
>>1621837>and have no idea what the fuck you actually look like Yes, actually, unironically. I'm a "recovered" ana-chan and I'm almost 100% sure that being unable to process what you actually look like is a big part of it. I'm not skelly and not getting skelly again, but I still don't know what I look like at this normal weight either.
And I wish everyone called out shoop and edition as much as everyone used to back in the day, I hate to scroll instagram, see literally impossible bodies, comment something about the edition, and only get nasty "you're just jealous!!" and "shut up, it's real!!" replies. This was bad for me as a pre/teen, and it's without a doubt really bad for girls growing up with it now too.
No. 1622334
Really wishing my family could mind their own business when it comes to me taking a long time in the bathroom. I would understand if someone needed it afterwards, but that’s not the case. It’s a little complicated because my skin issues had me taking soaking baths with oatmeal for a while and this was the first time I would be washing with a running faucet (before I work up to a shower because the water pressure would hurt but whatever it’s besides the point). My mother was upset that I was soaking too long in the bath when I had to tell her a million times that I didn’t soak, I took like under 10 mins to wash up. I honestly was procrastinating because I was scared that the water without oatmeal would hurt, so I took long. But it doesn’t fucking matter, when I’m in the bathroom it’s one of the few times I have to myself so I don’t want to hear shit that I’m taking too long. Yes I’m there contemplating, masturbating, letting my lotions absorb, relaxing. It concerns no one but ME. Not only that, I got slandered and clowned on for being in the bathroom for too long and when I tried to defend myself I’m told to just shut the fuck up. It’s so maddening to just be told to shut up all the time. I don’t even fully process it anymore, but it’s just like a fact of life that just scratches at me whenever it happens. Fuck off, I can do whatever I want in the bath for as long as I fucking want. Tell me to shut up like I’m some retarded barn animal all you fucking want.
No. 1622364
>>1622360I love you
nonnie and I mean this in the kindest way but get your head out of the shitter, stop judging yourself and allowing such ugly thoughts to permeate your brain. You can believe you're beautiful at the drop of a hat, real beauty is strength, confidence and drive. Hope I don't sound condescending as I completely relate to you, I also have a lot of scars and sometimes used to feel like a trash bag of a person but I don't let that get to me
No. 1622385
>>1622364Idk how
nonnie. As far back as my mind will allow me to go, this is what the norm is for my pattern of thinking. Maybe it has to do with my OCD, but it's almost like I have this external voice 'telling' me all these things. Maybe it's an extension of my father's criticisms. Maybe it's an extension of my mother's insecurities. Or my exes narcissism. An accumulation of all of these things? I will never know. I've tried all of the conventional ways of seeking help, along with some of the unconventional ones. It just doesn't seem like there is anything to me. I can't tell if I'm a shell of a person or if I'm too afraid to be a person because I don't want to be put down for who I am. But even I don't know who I am anymore. I don't think I've ever had confidence, or drive, or any of that…every time I've begun to have a smidge of passion for something, it's been stomped out before it could even begin or compared to others so much to the point where I just give up. I can't shake it and it's killing me.
No. 1622396
>>1622385Do you think it's possible it's the environment you're in currently?
You saying there's nothing to you or defining yourself by what you can achieve in comparison to others I relate to a LOT. I'm telling you this because it's the way I broke free: you need to love yourself and have your back at all times, validation needs to be internal. Even if you were the shittiest person on the planet you need to love yourself just because, so what lol?
Be honest with yourself on your shortcomings without judgement, make attempt to achieve things without fear of failure or ridicule, laugh with yourself when you mess up and try again, just have your own back because no one else will. Take time to celebrate your victories and acknowledge the good you've done, no one does that enough.
I hope I don't sound dismissive or condescending, real life problems can get in the way I understand but you need to be honest with yourself and you can't be honest if you hate yourself
No. 1622398
>>1622391Ah just another sassy bitch who doesn't wanna do her job, I see.
You sound stupid but I'm not gonna do the thinking for you, I'll give you one clue though: bias + context
No. 1622435
File: 1688256805944.png (298.28 KB, 458x532, a8c~2.png)
>>1622406You don't sound normal at all btw
nonnie, may I remind you you're on lolcow ranting about imprisoning people to a literal retard?
No. 1622442
>>1621582Don't out him. That will reinforce his
victim complex and if he ends up changing his mind, she will have embarrassed him for nothing
No. 1622449
File: 1688258087143.jpg (48.13 KB, 623x541, FzouqRdaUAAfDNS.jpg)
Oh my god why is it that when you call a man out for being abusive he goes on some creepy word salad talking in circles and riddles like, everyone has a dark inner core deep down, everyone has dark thoughts, no one is perfect… Oh my GOD you stupid fucking useless perverse actual psychopathic retard you are a CREEP and a LOSER and the things you do are sex crimes please die!!!!
No. 1622454
>>1621449>Woman is late in pregnancy or has just given birth>Scrote family member troons out to get the attention back on himselfEvery fucking time, fucking sociopaths. Be polite and cordial to him, but don't interact with him unless you have to. Do not allow him to contact your children
ever, not in person, not on the phone, and especially not online. Do not invite him to the baby shower or the delivery, he
will ruin it. Honestly, keep him away from your spouse, too, just to be safe (regardless of gender).
No. 1622467
File: 1688259450952.jpg (61.05 KB, 1351x910, FI1czAuXIAMZxOo.jpg)
>playing pokémon go, been walking for a while
>sit down on a monument plinth for a bit. i's a big ass statue, lots of room to sit
>have huge headphones on, looking at my phone
>some dirty looking bloke approaches
>there's plenty of places to sit but he's making a beeline for me
>he says something but i just glare at him without taking my headphones off
>actually makes to sit next to me
>i get up and leave
>he actually has the audacity to gape at me
moids really think they're enitled to your time and attention and they can NOT take a fucking hint. and they have the sheer gall to act shocked when you don't play along
No. 1622486
File: 1688261952325.jpg (6.91 KB, 345x375, 1688005965507098.jpg)
I dont have a hairy big tiddied domestic husband to watch fireworks with this year but I will. And wherever he is I hope he is having a good day and enjoying himself. Yes I'm kind of sad. But that's life sometimes its fine
No. 1622488
>>1622381>autists hate having to hear other people talk about their emotions cause they don't care and can't empathizeNTA, but this is bullshit. I can't speak for everyone with autism, but I usually don't like listening to emotionally dense conversations precisely because I have hyperempathy and feel overwhelmed afterwards, especially if it's about something I can't solve (just being a “shoulder to cry on” and doing nothing makes me feel useless).
>>1622406>Most mentally retarded people should honestly be put in homes and not unleashed upon societyAnd we are the ones who are non-empathetic assholes…
No. 1622503
File: 1688262561453.jpg (10.73 KB, 275x221, 1674599285171.jpg)
I hate how depression is draining the life out of me. I feel disconnected most of the time. There's this weird hollowness I feel that doesn't go away no matter what. I'm tired just not in the physical sense as I have no problems walking a long time or running. I don't sleep much which honestly isn't that big of an issue considering I've had insomnia since I was a young teen. I mostly just like the feel of being in my bed even if I'm not sleeping. I'm not hungry most of the time and will drink things for calories, not alcohol due to both not huge on the taste and allergy issues. There's no feeling of dread either anymore. It's strange and I want to laugh.
No. 1622514
File: 1688262927504.jpeg (42.99 KB, 526x526, FdXleWOXwBIwE35.jpeg)
I fantasize about trooning out, moving away, and starting a whole new life as a "man." While socially awkward sperg-adjacent women are mocked even by other women, men with the same qualities are feared because everyone is afraid they might go postal if you bully them. For once in my life, I want to know what it is like to be feared. To have that power.
People already walk on eggshells around me because I'm a GNC woman (they assume I am a TIF), so realistically becoming FTM wouldn't be a massive shift (or it wouldn't be as long as I don't actually pass as a man). I guess I already got a taste of what it's like to be an autistic scrote because I was a TIF from the ages of around 9-12 and I passed as a young boy until one of my classmates outed me. Everyone was kind of scared of me because I would have autistic meltdowns in public and generally act like a future school shooter. Weirdly enough I actually got more attention from girls then than I do now as a lesbian. I think a lot of women have a thing for "bad boys" (I.E. the whole "I can fix him" mentality), but the same behaviors that are considered attractive in men (basically being an inconsiderate brutish thug with an inflated ego) and considered intimidating in women. Unfortunately I still act like an autistic scrote trapped in a woman's body because my proper female socialization was disrupted and now I am a femcel freak forever RIP
No. 1622523
>>1622517literally me too, I love hearing every single bit of tea/drama and whatnot and I am very autistic
when will people learn that this is a spectrum lmao
No. 1622542
>>1622514They weren’t scared of you cuz you were LARPing as a man, they were scared cuz you were mentally ill with poor emotional regulation.
I go to the gun range every week and I walk the streets knowing that I have the power to take a moids life lmao
No. 1622560
File: 1688267568378.jpeg (39.95 KB, 500x500, 423D601C-FFC3-4238-958B-F4FF0F…)
>>1622546Mentally ill moids are feared because moids are machines of violence. I’m all for dangerous women making good on their words and putting fear in men’s hearts instead of doing something as silly as cosplaying.
No. 1622561
>>1622556NTA, this is true for me. I want to be seen as big and intimidating and I have a complex over being short with small feminine hands and a weak voice. This is because I used to be bullied by my own family for being "weird" as a child, seen as "shy and quiet" at school, and many times not being taken seriously (even today by some people). Also, naturally a tomboy. So my personality and voice got rougher and more masculine to compensate.
I was about to troon out too but thankfully got the psychological help I actually needed, it helps that I didn't have any serious trauma/sexual abuse.
No. 1622587
File: 1688270062803.jpg (114.22 KB, 769x960, 1580801107220.jpg)
>>1622514you can' identify out of oppression lol. and there's no reasson you can' bee a confident, assertive woman.
sure you'll be labelled aggressive where a man would be better tolerated but you just gotta learn to take it in stride. yeah sure you're gonna piss of some people but it's their problem.
it's not like you can change you sex anyway.
i've embraced being seen as a blunt oputspoken bossy bitch. life is way more fun that way
No. 1622603
>>1622561>>1622556I'm aware that my gender dysphoria stems from internalized misogyny and being afraid of being perceived as weak, but there are also other contributing factors. I am unable to connect with other women because of being a sperg, my dad is probably closeted trans, I have legitimate AAP too
I might just become a roided out gym freak without calling myself a man or whatever
No. 1622634
>>1622603>I am unable to connect with other women because of being a sperg>I have legitimate AAP tooNeither of these mean you are a male in a woman's body. So you can't relate to most other women, so what? You're not the only woman this happens to. You're genuinely not like other girls, it's not the end of the world. You can accept the fact that you have a personality far different from the average woman, and live as a woman instead of pretending to be a man or have a man's brain.
And you either have a fetish because of porn or some other reason that gave you an unconventional sexuality, that's not being a man either (men don't get turned on by the fact that they're male, same reason why AGP doesn't mean TIMs are female. The fact that you're turned on by that means you're not male).
No. 1622646
File: 1688275744921.jpg (21.51 KB, 460x434, sleepy or tired meme cat.jpg)
I fucked up a little and I'm probably gonna get a UTI now. Praying my pussy protects itself. "Self-cleaning" my ass.
No. 1622657
File: 1688276483733.jpg (76.11 KB, 698x872, IMG_3074.JPG)
i'm such a pathetic socially retarded loser. i am nearly 21 years old and i don't have any friends. i am just too much of a spergy retard to make irl friends, and i'm too timid and shy to put myself out there. i'm scared of the world, scared of moids and i have trouble connecting with other women bc of my literal autism they don't seem to like me, but i've never really had close friendships of either gender. i was also pretty terminally online as a teenager so prime socialization years were maybe wasted when i could have been weird and awkward it would have been less embarrassing as doing it as an adult. i have 3 internet friends but they are all in different timezones and they have actual lives more than i do so we rarely get to talk for long. the only reason they still talk to me is because we've known each other since high school anyway. the only person i speak to on a daily basis is my mother and even she thinks i'm a loser kek. this is such a deeply lonely and lame existence and i hate it but i also don't know how to change it. i'm moving cities this fall, and i kind of have the hope that in a new place i'll magically change as a person and become more sociable, but i don't expect i'll suddenly be able to do it when i've never been able to do it in my life before. is it too late for me to build social skills??
No. 1622659
>>1622603I'm going to give you a very honest opinion, and it is with no hint of cruelty or condescension. If you do not currently have the dimensions to pass, you won't pass. Being gnc does not help you pass. Passing is important because you are speaking entirely about socially being perceived as male, and im telling you right now that if you don't already have the foundation to be perceived as male, you will never be perceived as male. If you aren't already androgynous or have masculine proportions, you cannot magically grow them from testosterone. Truly having the strong psyche to transition and not want to kill yourself later is to accept the fact that you will likely never pass in the eye of others, and many people will perceive you as a woman regardless. You will not magically have the same privileges as men unless you can socially pass as male. And you have to be okay with knowing that when people find out you're not biologically male, not only will they stop treating you like a man, you will be othered in a way that will make you feel just as isolated and anguished as you do now. If you can't handle those things, this is just a passing phase you're using as a pacifier to daydream about what it's like on greener grass. You will likely always deal with misogyny, patronization, dehumanization, objectification, etc until you're elderly enough to be considered mostly invisible. If you're not already 'built for t' then I guarantee you that transforming into a short, bald, doughy homer simpson isn't going to give you any sort of peace or euphoria unless you can imagine feeling content as such and also having people transvestigate you whether you want to be perceived as so or not. I actually have no negative thoughts about people who transition wholly for themselves and accept the changes however detrimental or unalligned with their expectations because that's how you know they are actually alleviated of deeply personal dysphoria. If you aren't of them you're going to regret what you're doing off the sole fact that you sound like you want to spite your body for being permanently shackled to misogyny and unwilling objectification, which you will still experience in a more gruesome way if you aren't like ty turner etc. It's a drastic decision to make to spite your body alone.
No. 1622677
>>1622657That way you feel about your lost "prime socialization years", whenever that is, is the way you will feel about your current age when you're 30, and on and on. The cycle of regret and wondering if it's too late keeps going, the only way to step out of it is to realize that, and just let yourself have those experiences now.
I felt the same way at 21, and now at 29 I look back at that person as a child. You're not too old.
No. 1622718
>>1622707No, wiped wrong.
>>1622714Obsessed.
No. 1622726
>>1622664I am the anon who just posted
>>1622723 and I literally don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Putting myself “out there” makes me feel worse because people treat me like I have two fucking heads. It’s weird because people usually like me when it’s not in a situation like at a bar trying to make friends. Every time I’ve gone to bars I’ve sat alone and even the bartender acted like I was weird. I don’t get it. I’m not even wearing weird clothes, I don’t have tattoos or piercings, my hair is a natural color and I don’t wear crazy makeup.
No. 1622813
File: 1688294925513.gif (1.67 MB, 250x220, 4861C050-21BE-4B55-A8BC-A03963…)
What do I do with all the obsession I have for him?! He’s a celebrity and he doesn’t even look like this anymore and he doesn’t know I exist but I get so excited and gushy looking at him and idk what to do with it I can’t even masturbate to him for some reason, help
No. 1622832
>>1622826Those stores are fast fashion crap too anon.
It sucks in some ways but on the other hand, if we had lived decades ago without fast fashion in it's current magnitude, most of us would've been patching up the few outfits we could afford until completely worn out.
No. 1622894
>>1622882I thought he was a woman too! He looks feminine.
Nah. My face is broad, square sized. The only resemblance I have to him is mainly the eye area, perhaps the nose and my lips are somewhat bigger.
No. 1622906
My boyfriend's only love he received from his parents was that stereotypical "If I didn't love you, you wouldn't have had a roof over your head or food." So he never had birthdays, dinners cooked, holidays, travel, events, activities, or anything fun and stereotypical of a family. Money was not a factor, these people have a ton of money to throw around. But now I'm starting to realize that it's my boyfriend's love language now, too. He loves me, so I get a roof over my head and food. But no activities, events, outdoor things, star-gazing, picnics, hiking, travel, whatever. I'm not asking for things to be costly, just for them to be more than being inside our apartment. Plus I have to be realistic and understand that no other scrote, especially a younger one, is gonna love me with a "roof over my head" sorta deal. So I feel this tug-and-pull between "God I wish I were having a fun, romantic life of small activities" and "I am already so spoiled I don't require anything else". But eight years of this has bored me to the point of tears.
No. 1622921
File: 1688308642500.gif (11.77 MB, 640x526, james-woods-the-boost.gif)
Shut the fuck up. I don't care about your man. I don't care about other people's romantic life. I don't care about your gossiping about other people's lives. I don't care who fucks with who. I don't care what you think about our coworkers. I don't care that you don't like the fact that that one woman from a different department is fat. Why do you even care? Stop pouring your toxicity onto me you disgusting narcissistic normie. Find some real hobby you vapid bitch. I can't believe you call me childish for not wanting to be involved with men when your man literally handles all your formalities for you, makes your medical appointments, takes care of your insurance and your taxes, he found an apartment for you two and handled all the formalities and wrote the motivation letter, and you literally admit you would be lost without him. That's a child behavior, not an adult behavior. Yet you call me childish. The only thing you do for your nigel is like his laundry and spreading your legs for him. I do everything for myself, even though making phone calls gives me cosmic levels of anxiety and I'm turbo autistic. I make my appointments, I handle my insurance and my taxes, I work hard enough to pay for both my apartment in my home country and my room in the city where it's extremely hard to find anything for rent, and I found this room on my own too, without anyone's help. I'm totally alone, I don't even have parents, yet I do it, and you have a nigel who does everything for you and supporting parents and you're still bitching about everything and you're entitled and petty enough to constantly gossip about other people behind their backs, you two faced bitch. Even your nigel tells you you complain too much and then you complain about it to me. I don't want to listen to it. Don't act offended when I don't want to talk to you anymore. You're toxic as fuck and the only reason some coworkers still want to engage with you is that 1) you're perfect at being fake nice and a social butterfly, like a sociopath and 2) you don't show them the levels of toxicity you show to me when nobody can hear you except me. You're dumb but you act like you're the smartest. Gifrel is my last surviving braincell when you talk to me for longer than 1 minute. You hear some "smart" word from me and then you're repeating it thinking it makes you smart. You have no hobbies and no interests and you don't even read books. Sometimes the things you say are so stupid and vapid but you say them in the "know it all" tone and you have a nice diction and very open body language so other normies listen to you because for normies 70 to 93 % of communication is non verbal and they literally don't pay the attention to the substance of your blabbering. It boggles my mind people like you exist and you still bother to poison lives of someone so childish and so detached like me with your vapid bullshit, constantly talking about meaningless things and gossip and toxicity. I'm so sad I have to work with you. You're a disgrace. Stay away from me cow
No. 1622948
>>1622921Holy shit go off
nonnie hahahaha I love this
No. 1622950
>>1622906Please dump him literally any woman can get a man to allow her to live with him, you should never ever feel grateful for that, it benefits
them. I was a megapoorfag so had even less than your bf and I’m still not that retarded, it’s not an excuse there are men who will take you on dates.
No. 1622951
File: 1688312280245.jpg (51.56 KB, 640x420, edward-furlong-now-2016-F.jpg)
>>1622897damn, you weren't exaggerating.
No. 1623019
I can't find words to describe it, but I feel like I've lived in this… world of delusions or gaslight or lies my entire life. It's not something only I was subjected to, it's more like a lifestyle of people around me, everyone just perpetuates it like there's no other way. It's not even that people pretend things are certain way, they're so deep in denial they don't want to see how things really are. It's no wonder I grew up so depressed, feeling like I can't trust anyone. Still feeling like saying what you feel, sharing, being honest is useless and won't be appreciated. When you say you love someone it must mean something, there has to be a proof, it's not just a word. There was no abuse or anything, just complete apathy and indifference half-assedly covered with shallow, not meaningful, expressions of affection. I don't know how to connect with people now. I often feel like a piece of furniture, and like people expect me to be just it, not an actual person. Being a person means creating inconvenience. That's how it feels.
No. 1623065
>>1622906Firstly, just break up. If you aren’t excited and ready to marry him after 8 years you need to move on.
People literally use their adulthood to do the fun things they couldn’t do as kids. Nobody needs family outings as a child to desire fun experiences with their partner as an adult. Your boyfriend is just dry and possibly unaffectionate. If it’s never occurred to him, just bring it up yourself and if you have but he’s never interested, you’re incompatible. If he was actually raised to be a subpar bf, don’t date him. 8 weeks is too long for someone who won’t join you on a picnic. “Roof and food” is not being spoiled. Is a child never getting to celebrate their birthday spoiled?? You are understandably unsatisfied. Most men will enthusiastically do the activities you mentioned on the first date. You are free to move on.
No. 1623112
>>1622991This might not even be about some weird incest. This is just normal abuser behavior, he is trying to isolate her. They hate when their
victim goes out without them even though they don’t want to go. Your bf should try to see if she is safe because it will escalate if she isn’t already being beaten
No. 1623117
File: 1688327096275.png (30.48 KB, 275x153, 1682800281398.png)
>>1622514Say it with me: sawing off your tits will not solve your problems.
No. 1623130
File: 1688328482091.jpg (20.95 KB, 500x375, tumblr_inline_mhjpaw85gB1qz4rg…)
Tomorrow I have to make an appointment at the dentist office because yesterday my crowned teeth broke in two. Now I'm not only scared of what is coming my way (pretty sure they will remove the whole thing since it the teeth seems to be dead and completely broken anyways) BUT it's been A GOOD WHILE since I've been to the dentist and my teeth look horrendous. I KNOW, I know that the dentist are there to help me but due to my fear and my previous really shitty dentist (which I partly blame my fear of dentist on) I've hesitated to get things done since years. I know that sooner or later I would have to go for something, so I now is the time for the walk of shame and get things done. Prob won't sleep today over this but yeah, can't eat with this loose crown eater so I have no other choice …
No. 1623144
File: 1688330116758.jpg (27.7 KB, 500x354, ce21a53fe6fcf758db15c5077f4462…)
I can't stop making a fool of myself I clearly will have to learn the hard way
No. 1623151
File: 1688331026066.png (612.09 KB, 1280x1280, image_2023-07-02_165235434.png)
one of my online friends unadded me and then posted on a social media that she's deleting people she doesn't think likes her
if you think i don't like you just fucking ask my sister?
just because i'm not the type to talk to someone every single day because i'm horrible at dms doesn't mean i don't like you. every time you double messaged me i've responded to you with my full usual energy, what's the problem? she seems to cycle new people in and out all the time anyways.
No. 1623168
File: 1688332884077.jpeg (738.5 KB, 1170x1162, IMG_4475.jpeg)
You know, contrary to popular belief, yelling “STOP STOP STOP” while I’m talking is not actually going to keep me from finishing my sentence, random customer #8534, aged 54. In fact, now you’ve pissed me off enough that I’m intentionally going to finish my sentence and do so even LOUDER. Per normal social interactions, you I talk, you listen then you talk, I listen. You’d be amazed to know that the very thing I’m trying to tell you amid your yelling is literally the answer to your fucking question.
No. 1623210
File: 1688336510594.jpeg (667.86 KB, 1141x561, 59488255-108A-4588-8D69-E85943…)
I’m really enjoying magia record, it’s so pretty. Even though it’s really confusing and there are too many magical girls for me to keep up with. Just getting high and enjoying the pretty visuals is nice.
No. 1623245
>>1623227I think people just want to react. Sometimes it becomes this almost doublethink thing where even if it's fake you still act like it's real. Idk it's what I come here for so it seems ok I'm genuinely sorry if I've ever
triggered you
nonnie No. 1623255
File: 1688340368851.jpg (164.95 KB, 2248x2236, alright i'll take my ass out a…)
how it feels to have no one reply to my request in a thread… like okay sorry i even said anything… should i kill myself…
No. 1623270
>>1623255Kek anon don't feel bad, it's Sunday so the board is kinda slow
>>1623266Also this, if I cannot contribute i simply don't reply
No. 1623272
>>1623255I feel bad when I open myself and try really hard to help and engage and the
nonnie never replies. I feel a little like a clown.
No. 1623286
File: 1688342002537.jpeg (50.68 KB, 480x267, IMG_2665.jpeg)
>>1623270kek i was only joking but
>>1623266 i feel you but tbh when i made that post i was just getting desperate for certain recommendations it makes me sad when i'm just ignored and idk if it's worse when someone replies to me with something like seconding and then SHE gets a reply but not ME. is my post stinky or something like what's my problem… feel like such a clown
No. 1623288
>>1623272samefag but your post made me feel so guilty just know that when a kind
nonnie like you replies with something heartfelt to my post i screenshot it and read it often from time to time as nonnian wisdom, and it brings me comfort akin to a hug. i just feel shy get so anxious about what to reply with i put it off until i forget (even though this is an anonymous website…) but i know i should at least say thank you
No. 1623293
>>1623274That's what I tell myself as I type an autistic long reply kek
>>1623288Oh no, don't take it too seriously. It's fine if you don't reply, I am just being retarded. I post in so many threads I loose track, so I am probably a hypocrite. I think it's super sweet that your screenshot some replies, I might start doing that too.
No. 1623365
>>1623309try a sport, martial art, volunteer work, or physical class/activity! that helped me a lot
you can find women only groups that do stuff like that too
No. 1623377
>>1623353It usually works.
>>1623351You mean like yours?
No. 1623389
File: 1688351661063.jpg (34.29 KB, 564x550, lolll.jpg)
I'm thinking it's time to break up with my boyfriend.
I got fired last Monday and since then he's been behaving like an utter asshole to me. He's stopped hugging me, stopped kissing me, and stopped tickling me (he used to love to tickle me all the time), even stopped hugging me goodnight. He dismisses my feelings as me being "dramatic" or sensitive. He's given me 2 weeks to find a new job, and I'm applying to at least 5-10 a day but have only heard back from 1 so far, done the initial interview on Wednesday, and have yet to hear anything more. He already expected me to do all the housework even when I worked full-time because he buys the groceries, cooks, and we split the bills 50/50 but he pays them, but he's upped his expectations on the appearance of things since I was let go.
Yesterday, my best friend offered to take me to get ice cream on a whim (she lives an hour away) in order to take my mind off of things because I'd been cooped up at home since Tuesday, just applying to job after job, cleaning, and taking care of our 3 cats. I told my boyfriend she was coming to pick me up and he went quiet and kept glaring at me. I had to press him to tell me what his problem was and he said, "I just don't understand why you need to go off with [Friend] today." and I responded that I already told him why. He'd wanted me to clean the whole house yesterday. Anyway, when I left, I went upstairs to tell him bye and he glared at me once again before swiveling around in his desk chair.
When I got home, he was at his second (weekends only, and he didn't have to work Friday evening, and never works Sundays) job. I decided to talk to him when he got home. He was annoyed when he got home, and when I told him I found it unbelievable that he pitched a fit over my best friend doing me a kindness, he said he took it to mean I wasn't taking the care of the house or my job search seriously enough. Mind you, I've been cleaning the house since Tuesday, and was only gone maybe 2.5 hours. I've applied to probably 45+ jobs since I was fired. I told him I don't think he knows how to console anyone who isn't his mother (whom he worships, and calls sometimes multiple times a day but at least once, sees multiple times a week, and we live 10 minutes away from, etc) because not once has he told me "I'm sorry you got fired" or "It'll be okay, you'll find another job." I told him I'm stressed to the max and he just said he's stressed, too, and what do I want him to do? I told him I hate that he dismisses any emotion I display as me being "dramatic" or "sensitive" and he just kept asking if I seriously don't believe I'm overly sensitive sometimes. I told him I just wished he'd be kinder to me. We weren't getting anywhere so I dropped the conversation and went to bed (without a hug, again).
Today, he came into the living room and asked what was wrong and I told him it was the same thing as last night. He said, "It seems like you don't like me very much anymore" and instead of telling him I do still like him, I asked why he thinks that. The thing is, I don't like him as a person anymore but I still love him. He also said I've been "mean" the last few days and I just sat there wondering where the fuck that came from. I'm only matching how he's treating me.
About 6 months ago, he broke up with me because I didn't keep the house clean enough for him and I didn't communicate effectively. He helped me pack my things and drove my old shitbox car 35 minutes downstate to my grandmother's house. He cried the whole time. I didn't cry in front of him. Then, 2 days later, decided he wanted to try to work things out. A week later, we went to look at some new cars for me and I spent the night at his house (that his parents own) and he asked me to move back in. I hate living with my grandmother and already had a new job lined up in the suburb we live in, so I agreed.
Anyway, back to today. I called my grandmother crying a few hours after the living room conversation. She essentially told me that I need to work it out with him because she's shopping around for a senior living home to move into, so I can't move in with her, and because my new car is in his name. He came in the room while I was on the phone and so I ended the call and he tried to give me a hug but I didn't reciprocate because I was too busy trying to wipe my tears, as I've never cried in front of him before. He sat down and asked me what was wrong and I told him I just feel like he's checked out of the relationship and described the way he's withholding affection from me, glaring at me, etc. He said it seems like I'm checked out, too, because I'm not being affectionate towards him, either, and that I'm always in a bad mood and don't seem to want him around, so it's hard to be affectionate when I'm being like that. He's just endlessly making his behavior my fault.
About an hour ago, he asked me what I think we should do, and I said I think we can work things out if we keep the open line of communication we've had for the past couple of days, and in turn asked him the same question. He said he "doesn't know what the best course of action is for either of us" and that he can't think about it right now because he's "too overwhelmed." He's overwhelmed and stressed because (as he loves to remind me) he doesn't have enough money to pay all our bills just by himself. Even though he has rich parents that he could ask to help him out and they would in a heartbeat. He already makes $50k working for his dad, so he's never going to know what being unemployed is like, and he makes $250 on a bad night and $600 on a good night at his second job. So I don't know why his math isn't mathing, but he should be able to keep us afloat until I find something else, not just for 2 weeks.
My sister told me that the 2 weeks thing "isn't love" and that "if he truly cared about you, he wouldn't be putting you on the wire like that." my best friend thinks he wants me to break up with him this time so that he's not the bad guy again. I'm starting to think they're both right. The issue here is that my friend in Ohio (a couple of states away) has offered to let me come live with her, but I don't know that he'd let me keep my car since it's in his name and I otherwise don't know how I'd get my stuff up there, what with never having moved states before.
TL;DR - Lost my job, my boyfriend has given me 2 weeks to find a new one and is now withholding affection from me. Grandmother I lived with the last time he broke up with me is unable to take me in again. Friend a couple of states away said I can move in with her, but I've never moved states and don't know how I'd transport my stuff. My car is in my boyfriend's name.
No. 1623395
File: 1688352405750.gif (2.09 MB, 476x498, behead-chopping.gif)
i went to my local supermarket yesterday and had the british expat checkout worker make a comment about my 'gorgeous' eyes when i called him over to remove a product (fuck you telling me avocados are half the price of what they actually ring up for) and throwing out a "bye beautiful" on my exit when he was using standard polite honorifics for the others before me.
i feel dumb complaining about it, giving grace to the fact he seemed kinda tired and i've seen him working there for years - but at the same time i've seen him working there for years!!! we had a great normal customer/worker relationship; why'd you have to say that now?
i'm put off going back cause i rather not have to see him again but dang. i dunno. i was even wearing a mask lol. the only feature you could comment on, huh. shit. probably just overthinking it
No. 1623420
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I broke up with my long term bf and I’m so pissed and sad that he would not let me keep our cats. I took care of them and bought them their cat tree. I miss waking up like picrel. One of them was the most affectionate cat I’ve ever had. Miss the shit out of both of them.
No. 1623439
>>1623389>>1623397Same person? Please ignore if you don't want support/advice.
But if you do you're not a failure,
nonny, the fact that he put you in such a controlling vice grip is ridiculous, you were doing fine before and probably would be fine if he wasn't being such a bully. He also sounds like an entitled spoiled brat (considering his rich parents and having a job with them), I honestly think he could actually afford the place alone for a while as well. You have an escape route already and yes the car thing sucks, but talk it through with your friend. Also, it isn't your car if it's in his name. Sorry,
nonny.
Worst case scenario wouldn't take long to save up and get a beater once you're in a better situation and might be able to carpool or something until then. Don't tell your plans to him as you prepare because I can imagine he'll be a total freak about it, keep it on the downlow. If it's not obvious I don't trust him at all kek.
No. 1623444
>>1623439I’m
>>1623397 and didn’t notice another anon had a very similar vent to me a few posts back kek thats fucking sad for both of us though. What are the odds. I’ve learned men will always disappoint me and let me down even when I put my full faith and love into them. If he was crying and sobbing I wouldn’t tell him I’m pissed off at him and then leave without a single reassurance. Fml I really just want someone to treat me nicely and hold me and tell me everything is okay but nope guess not, I’m sleeping in the living room tonight.
No. 1623468
>>1623432>>1623451to be fair post job loss is researched to be when domestic violence/abuse tends to spike–because it's a moment of vulnerability. it's easy for bad men to be fairweather nice early on when get consistently benefits, then start stepping over minor boundaries especially when cohabitation begins. I'm very worried about
nonny backsliding cuz she might fall for it if he starts giving her affection again, hot/cold is a strategy for a reason, and if he gets worse trauma bonding might be a problem.
No. 1623501
File: 1688364523027.jpg (43.38 KB, 715x588, FB_IMG_1688195758613.jpg)
i know i'm not an anachan bc i dont even have the body to qualify for one but i am so sick of my body. i lost 60 lbs in the past year because i use to be an obese fucking hambeast, and i'm very much noticeably thinner now but still clinically overweight. not by a lot but it still frustrates me. i'm 5'5 but everytime i stand by a 5'1 or 5'2 friend whos very thin and petite i feel incredibly insecure and gigantic. i hate feeling like this. on top of the fact that i plateaued and it took me 6 months to lose 10 lbs. i'm just tired of my body.
No. 1623502
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Keep getting weirdly sad whenever I hear certain things that remind me of an ex bf lately, not really because I miss him himself per se but because I miss being happier. Anything with ghost in the shell immediately plays the theme in my head and how we would watch it at 3 am and get stoned and fall asleep after eating breakfast, and when it rains and the air is really cool I think about how we would sit in his garage with the doors open working on his bikes. I really miss him mostly because being in sync with someone is very comfortable, not having to talk or perform or wear some stupid customer service mask. I have no interest in contacting him because I've gotten way worse and there is no way I can recreate that specific time but he's really cute and I like remembering things as they were. I just get kind of misty eyed because I hate how things are I think, you can only handle so much maltreatment.
No. 1623509
>>1623432>at least he doesn’t expect me to have a job or be a maidSo… What do you do? How do you contribute? Just providing sex? Sorry but reading here adult women who are stay at home girlfriends like from some cringe tiktok, it makes me sad. I wonder if they have any plan for their lives, just stay at home forever, and when their boyfriend/husband dies or dumps them at 40 (or becomes
abusive) they will try to find a job with an empty cv and zero experience? Idk
No. 1623541
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>>1623516KEK i would burst out laughing
No. 1623558
File: 1688377370516.jpeg (170.26 KB, 1074x716, 1664285391945.jpeg)
hate my relationship, hate my partner but also hate confrontation.
No. 1623708
Dumped my 'boyfriend' last night because he got too drunk and started being a bastard to me. I say that loosely because we had only been dating for about a month, and these days, I don't solemnize relationships until at least a few months in for proper vetting like this.
I'm mad about it because we actually had a very nice day yesterday up until last night. He had been watching my pets while I was out of town traveling for business and was being wonderful to them. He took me to a cool estate winery and I got to pet farm animals. We got tipsy from mimosas.
When we got back to his place it was clear he wanted to keep the party going and he broke out a bottle of tequila to do shots with. I knew he had a problem with alcohol because he confessed he had a pending DUI–the only turnoff about him as he was attractive, organized, clean, and made decent money. I did a few shots but the alcohol was so rough that I puked a bit and then I did not want to drink any more. I wasn't drunk at this point, so I wanted to wind down. We danced in his apartment for a bit but then he wanted to go see that new Wes Anderson movie. Fine. I let him drive us, jfc I am an idiot for accepting that knowing he had taken a shot. We survived but I don't know how. He wound up sleeping through the movie, which idk made me feel silly for being there cause it was kind of a waste of time if he wasn't gonna be present truly.
When we got back to the apartment again he did even more shots, while I ordered us food delivery because we were too late to the movie to order food. I did not partake with the shots this time despite him pressuring me. I poured the alcohol back in the bottle when he wasn't looking.
He wanted to go back out again and this time he wanted to go buy a new vape and go somewhere to take pictures. I should have said no. By this point I had a slight headache from being out and drinking for quite some time and was getting annoyed cause I had spent more than several hours traveling on the road the day prior. Idk, I wanted to humor him, I was willing to put my needs aside to let him have a good time if all he wanted was a vape and snap some pics cause at least that had a purpose in my mind unlike the movie. Of course I cared about him. So whatever, I drove.
He acted like an idiot in the vape store but nothing egregious.
What pissed me off is when we got back on the road again. He was being very cryptic about where we were going and wouldn't pull up a map app so I would know. I HATE driving aimlessly when I am not in on it. It is VERY irritating trying to get driving directions out of a drunk person, especially one who forgotten that I had been driving all day yesterday and just wanted to get to where he wanted and then go home.
I had some junk clattering around in my car's trunk which was making my headache worse and stressing me out so I wanted to correct it when we stopped. I complained about that, and this fucking guy started accusing me of "freaking out over a nothingburger" and acting like I was killing his vibe. I hate that shit. I fucking hate when men accuse women of being in screaming hysterics just because we dared to voice some discontent about a situation and not even in a way that was attacking them or was loud? Why are they like this?? Like all I wanted to do was know where we were going so I could fix the stuff in my car so it wasn't banging about. I even said that.
Well, turns out the big ~place~ he was taking me was his job's building. He even mentioned we couldn't take pics cause it was too dark there (duh?) and that he was ok with just vibing there. Well not me, we could've "vibed" at the fucking apartment! Then there was a fucking police car with lights on patrolling the office's lot and it was making me uncomfortable because I had his drunk ass in my car.
I said I wanted to go home and he called me an asshole.
How was I the asshole? I drove his ass somewhere, bought him food, got him the vape, etc. Basically making my case about how I in fact had been nice to him the entire evening. In response he berated me the entire way back about how I had ruined his good time and was being too selfish to think about what he had been going through and how dare I hold things over his head. It was so upsetting but I was more satisfied that this guy was showing his true colors, he was painting me completely black and had no sensitivity at all towards me. I would have cried if I wasn't in such shock.
No matter how drunk I have ever gotten, I have never treated anyone like the way he was treating me which was awful. I had abusive drunks treat me like this before so I knew how this would end and that's when I made the decision to be out. I started packing my shit to leave for good when we got back to his place and that's when he mysteriously sobered up enough to beg me to stay while at the same time continually being very aggressive towards me and mean. He kept reversing victim, gaslighting, and giving me non-apologies like "Sorry YOU felt I did something mean," and so on. He was acting so BPD he kept splitting between asking me to stay and then slamming the door behind me as I loaded stuff into my car and acting like I had no basis to want to not be around him. It was almost 1am and my house was a two hour drive away in a storm but he did not care.
I blocked him on socials and he kept calling my phone until I answered it to tell him to quit calling me, and then I blocked his number too but he kept calling me even after that until he passed out about 3am. His last text was wanting me to come back so we could "fix this." I had nothing to fix, he was the one being the drunk jerk! Bullet dodged as far as I'm concerned, I'm just sad to see another man ruined by an addiction and personality disorder. He would have been a great match for me otherwise, it makes me want to grieve for the potential he could have had with me.
No. 1623713
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I absolutely hate hate hate the youtube psychology videos. I hate the fact that people watch these annoying fucking armchair psychologists who call everyone narcs and make videos like ‘5 signs ur cat is a gaslighter’ I HATE IT. Absolutely fucking hate it I hate how everyone who subsequently watches said videos thinks they are psychologists, my mum is obsessed with watching them and now EVERY time I do something she doesn’t like she calls me a narc or a gaslighter. If I hear one of those retarded psychology buzzwords ever again in my life I’m going to fucking alog. These retards were the ones diagnosing Amber Heard with all sorts of shit too god I want to fucking stab these youtube psychologists to death and see what they diagnose me with
No. 1623714
File: 1688397492985.gif (2.97 MB, 498x278, hug-love.gif)
>>1623708You made the right move anon, he showed you who he really was last night and it wouldn't be too long before he'd be acting like that sober. I'm just grateful you care enough about yourself to realize what you're worth and dropped that loser, because I personally have friends who put up with that behaviour for way too long. Be proud of your high standards! I have a really wonderful husband and we've been together nearly a decade, so I know there are good men out there, and I know you'll find one who is truly compatible with you.
No. 1623728
>>1623708Whatever you do, don't look back. Too many get sucked back in by all the apologies and excuses that drunks try to bombard you with in the following few days. Keep him blocked and remember that a dui wasn't a wake up call for him. It's likely to be an ongoing issue in his life that'll chase people away. Won't change anytime soon.
Dealt with similar before and I wish I'd left the very first time I'd seen him drink too much and get aggressive. The same thing, one minute you're being called a 'buzzkill' because you're not as drunk and jolly as them and then the next min.. they're acting like a raging asshole because you said something and either they took it wrong or thought it was a personal attack. After a while they don't even beg you the next day. They just blame you for everything even when they cant remember what they did to you while drunk. Soon their drunk memory trumps your sober one.
No. 1623771
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I ended a relationship/situationship of three years thursday and I know it was the right move but he’s not like a bad person and we had a lot of fun together so I’m just sad about it, my dumb fault for not ending it much sooner before I felt so attached to someone I’ve been super certain since the beginning wasn’t the right one for me on a long-term level
So anyways I spent the weekend drinking and crying and online shopping, now it’s Monday and I feel like hungover trash and I’m broke and I’m still sad and my period is starting soon and just ugh, I have friends but they all live far away and I‘m just feeling lonely I guess and my head hurts
In the past, as in in the past 10 years of my adult life, I always sort of accidentally ended up jumping into a new relationship within a stupidly short amount of time and I feel healthy and confident enough not to do that but not healthy and confident not to dislike it and worry that I genuinely may not meet anyone ever cause I refuse to touch the apps and I don’t really talk to people in public
So hey its yr girl, fully single and unattached for like the fifth nonconsecutive week of my adult life at 29, how odd
No. 1623814
>>1623770Thanks Nonna!
I'll check that out. I really need more motivation to clean. And I also found my keys!
No. 1623833
File: 1688409762359.jpg (59.75 KB, 600x566, teen-suicide-waste-yrself-cove…)
It's so unfair that I gotta pay for therapy. I'm too far gone to not need help, slowly going through a list of things that I wanna do before dying. I'm doing it because I hoped it would help me try new things and hope in a brighter future. I want to love myself, I want to move out, I want to keep creating, I want to live. But sometimes it's so tiresome. So yeah I need therapy because it's kinda my last hope. And I hate that I will have to pay a stranger just to keep going.
No. 1623841
File: 1688411434839.jpg (75.13 KB, 564x564, yea.jpg)
I'm
>>1623389 and while my boyfriend came in the living room, gave me a hug, and apologized to me later on after I made that post, and started behaving mostly like he used to before I lost my job, he started acting cold to me again this afternoon.
I just had my first session with a new psychiatrist after my last one at that institution left and I cried almost the whole time. He got home shortly before it ended (I'd quit crying by then) and asked how it went. I told him that I cried the whole time, she brought her supervisor in and they let me know they are going to try to get me in DBT therapy. I explained to him what that is and he didn't really say anything but "Okay" and then asked why I got an attitude. I told him I expected him to say more, something like "I think that'd be beneficial for you" or
something and he got defensive and said I made it sound like I don't want to do it, all the while knowing I've been trying to find therapy for months.
I think he's fundamentally incapable of being there for me emotionally. All he knows how to do is buy me nice things occasionally and cook dinner. He doesn't know how to support me if it's not with his money. And it seems like he thinks I'm asking too much when I say I need him to be there for me. I can't decide if he's got low empathy due to being so privileged or if he's just emotionally immature.
No. 1623851
My "bf" and I kept our long distance relationship after we've met in college and he returned home country (first world, while I'm in a pretty poor country) to work (he did not finish his degree). We've been like this for a year, and while I've been lonely, I feel like I evolved in some kind of pretty asexual being, I enjoy being alone and doing my own thing. He had plans to relocate back to my country, but for now he actually made the plans to come and live with me in my apartment for 3 months… and I'm honestly against it. It'd be one thing if he tried to get situated here, but this is really just 3 months that he'd spend as a NEET here, while I'm doing 8-12 hour long days of work+school. When I told him this, he told me "don't worry, I can entertain myself", completely missing the point. To be clear, he'd be paying for his living costs from his savings, since compared to his country, things are cheap here anyway. But just thinking about coming home to someone who had just spent all day gaming, then cooked me some plain pasta dinner for us trying to get his hands all over makes me feel pissed off even as an idea. There's not enough cleaning or cooking in my house to do that'd justify a "house husband" role in my home. It's funny, because if he actually announced he'd make an honest attempt to live here with me, I'd probably be happy and support him in the first few rough year. But him even entertaining the idea that he'd basically just take a vacation in my home, in exchange some light housekeeping, and him thinking this is an honest test of how well we'd work out as a couple, made me instantly lose all attraction to him.
No. 1623866
>>1623841You will never live up to Mommy, therefore you are a house- and bang- maid. He obviously thinks you're beneath him. I can't believe you went back to him after he left your for
not keeping his house clean enough. You realize he and his mom talk shit on you the whole time they're together, right? This guy sounds like a major faggot
No. 1623874
>>1623841Have you told him everything you've been saying about him in this thread? That you need and want his emotional support, affection and all that stuff because that's what a relationship is supposed to be about, that this is why it hurts when he acts cold because it means he doesn't care about you, etc.?
I'm just curious about the thought process of men like this and how they try to justify their lack of empathy
No. 1623898
I will just try to see if removing some carbs can help me with losing weight, I could have carbs during breakfast, lunch, and just have no carbs at dinner. At this point I’ve tried so many diets that I just don’t know what to do anymore, nothing works. All that happens is that I lose a kilo or two, maybe 5, then I go into plateau, go harder on the diet and exercise routines, gain weight, maybe even more weight than what I lost, get frustrated and stop eating, gain weight again, start another diet that’s being pushed on me and start again the whole cycle.
I’ve been like this throughout my whole life, ever since I was 12 years old I’ve been dieting and nothing works, I can never be at the ideal weight that anyone wants me to be at, I should weight like 60 kilos or less and I’m at 100 kilos with no hope at this point.
So not only I’m ugly but I’m also fat as fuck, I wish I had cancer so I could lose weight, at least everyone would stop thinking I’m a waste of space no matter what I do.
No. 1623903
File: 1688417468447.jpg (267.19 KB, 750x670, top20-sp.jpg)
I'm begging for life to take it easier on me in the second half of this year. I started off this year losing my favorite cat, my hopes of getting a car and place with my bf were ruined, my family had some health scares, I drank too much and had too much caffeine for the first time in back to back months, and now I have a UTI that's lasted for a month. I look at the resolutions I posted at the beginning of this year and I haven't accomplished a single one.
No. 1623908
>>1623841He is irredeemable. Completely unsalvageable. It sucks the car is in his name but a car is just not as important as the way he’s treating you. Honestly if I was you I’d throw all my shit in it and drive it to Ohio and then tell him to come get it if he wants it.
Is your name on the registration or insurance or anything? Who is paying for it, you? Do you think you can get him to sign the title over to you so it “feels like im really responsible for it and it will give me motivation to find a job — I rely on you too much honey baby!” or some bullshit that might convince him? But even if you can’t get the car who cares it’s just a car, get a one-day one-way enterprise rental if you have to.
No. 1623911
>>1623768I don’t have a job so assuming I’m feeling alright (I’m disabled so that’s definitely not everyday) I have all the time in the world to chill. I was just gonna be really vague about my past cause I don’t really need people knowing all about me and my history anyway, I just want someone to vibe with besides my boyfriend. The more time they have on their hands the better. I also am not into anything cool like art and would feel really out of place at any kind of meetup type deal. Everytime I’ve gone to meet up type things with a “group” I am always completely ignored oftentimes even the instructor or leader ignores me.
Pretty sure I’m an autist too, I’m constantly being called an autist. I’ve never been part of any type of group chat between friends which is a sore spot for me. I do terribly in groups, but in one on one interactions or extremely small (<5) groups people generally really like me. Then in a large group I’m treated like a disgusting freakish leper. It’s been this way my whole life.
No. 1623918
File: 1688418435744.jpg (54.03 KB, 640x358, 1628362483475.jpg)
>favorite band has a song called transgender
>it's discovered by and attracts you know who
GO AWAYYYYYYYYYY
No. 1623936
>>1623866>>1623908>>1623874Thank you for your posts, nonas. After crying 6 fucking times today, sitting him down
again and trying to talk to him and just hearing a lot of "we have nothing in common, it feels like it's never going to feel right for either of us" and me asking what more I could possibly be doing and getting told over and over that he doesn't know, I've just given up. I'm never going to live up to his precious fucking mother. My best friend said I'm in a 2 way relationship with 3 people.
I've decided that I'm going get a one-way ticket to Ohio as soon as I can (whenever my severance check comes through) and get an Uber to the airport.
No. 1623967
>>1623945I do, it’s something I kind of do almost automatically because I had to count calories very often as a teen. It doesn’t work either.
I go to the gym daily unless I get sick, which is when I tend to gain most weight/centimeters, because while I barely eat or eat the usual healthy food I eat, I don’t have the same physical activity.
When I go to the gym, I go walking, so I lose around 600 calories on a day I’m going all out, 400 on a lazy day, because I do some stretching exercises mixed with yoga, weightlifting (I can lift 8lbs) and then 45 minutes of cardio. It takes me half an hour to go to the gym and half an hour to go back home, and when I measure the calories I burn based on a watch I got that does that stuff, I burn around 120 calories going to the gym, so I guess I must burn around 210 calories just going to the gym and coming back.
I went to the doctor because I’m fed up with this shit, and the doctor told me that yeah, I need to take my metformin and keep working out/dieting, but that I should also try using liraglutide. But my family doesn’t want me to get it because it has made the people we know that has tried it, get back to their original weight or gain even more even though they would have lots of issues with the side effects which are diarrhea and vomiting.
I guess I just have to keep trying and see what works, I’m just sick of this, not only because being fat makes me feel and definitely look ugly as fuck and disgusting, but because it fucks up my health and makes it harder for me to enjoy things.
Like I went to the beach with my family and I was having lots of fun, but during a party my legs got really swollen and my feet hurt a fucking lot because the skin gets really sensitive, I couldn’t dance as much as I wanted and It’s because I’m fat. In the pictures we took I look like a goblin because my face looks round and disgusting, even with makeup on, my body looks like a barrel even with flattering clothes and I hate how I can’t even stare at myself in pictures that others take of me because I look like a monster, but I also can’t expect to make others take pictures however I want so I look good.
Another thing that made me feel miserable was how my own family treats me because I’m fat, if I was skinny they wouldn’t think I’m a failure as a woman.
>>1623913I will watch this and give it a try, thanks,
nonnie.
No. 1624025
File: 1688428173507.jpeg (30.96 KB, 275x213, 1599512356439.jpeg)
I live in a rented basement attached to a larger house that is also occupied but other adult renters. When I'm home I'm too afraid to leave my basement and even just hearing my housemates walking around upstairs makes me afraid to leave my room in case they need to use the shared laundry (which is in the basement). I feel terrible that I'm making the situation awkward or seeming antisocial. I've gotten along with renters in the past but the woman who monopolizes the common spaces right now is a little older and skittish and every time I need to go upstairs to collect my mail or pick up a delivery she acts like I'm intruding. It's an uncomfortable position to be in and I pay more in rent than anyone else in the house so the fact that I can't even use the kitchen due to my social anxiety really sucks.
We just got a new housemate and I haven't even met them yet because of this.
No. 1624040
Lol no one forced you to come back, you know?
I’m sick of my brother pretending he didn’t want to come back home. He lived abroad for 7 years because he usually said how trapped he felt here and basically searched whatever reason to spend time away. Whether it was work or just for fun, he was always travelling and making a big fuss when someone told him how they didn’t find travelling that exciting.
I told him once how pointless I saw it when you didn’t have enough money to survive and he complained about how narrow minded I was and also told me he was pretty sure my life was so boring at this point.
Here we are now, seven years later, when he came back because obviously this lazy ass found out it’s so much better to move out with our parents again so he won’t pay for any rent and basically almost anything.
When he kept moaning about coming back again I tried to make him think about it rationally because after all he was going to change his life again and he always shut me up and complained about not feeling appreciated and that it was “time to come home again”.
Here, there isn’t a day when he’s not complaining about how he misses his old life and that nobody can understand him and how sad he is now that he had to left everything behind. Yesterday he kept telling me how different things are for him and I understand him in some way but I think he’s just jealous of the people around him.
For him, it’s like time froze seven years ago. He hasn’t had an actual relationship for almost a decade now, he had a pretty shitty job that didn’t value him but he pushed it because he was working abroad and somehow he thought this would help him here once he came back. He doesn’t have any savings and as I said, he’s living with our parents again.
Apart from me, married and living with my SO, all his friends are already independent enough, some of them already bought houses.
It pisses me off how he tries to convince me with this sad persona character he adopted, as if someone has forced him to come back here, as if someone has put a gun to his head.
He keeps complaining about how much his life has changed in these past years when actually he was the one who didn’t change anything more than the country where he lived. And he tries to blame us about not changing, not understanding how this experience was so life changing for him.
I think he’s just jealous because here he has to find another job, he has to restart all the things he put on pause when he left and he was incapable of doing here anyway. Being abroad he had an excuse to justify why he couldn’t keep a relationship that lasted for more than half a year or why he couldn’t save any money for him. Here he has to face the hard truth: he’s an adult in his mid thirties, incapable of having any responsibilities and always taking the blame of everyone but him.
No. 1624061
File: 1688432132696.jpg (5 KB, 200x229, snow.jpg)
If I saw Erza Miller IRL I would beat him
No. 1624119
File: 1688437445363.png (125.16 KB, 787x536, FBBC57A6-58A6-4CC2-911D-936307…)
I found out that someone I was friends with in hs trooned out. I’m almost 30 and so many people I know have went through the pipeline. I’m literally the only one from that group who has remained the same and hasn’t declared a new gender etc. it’s infuriating to see so many girls who were just insecure or loved yaoi fall down this sick trap. There’s now 6 girls from my High school friend group are now “men” and the other 3 that fall into NB. We don’t talk anymore since I got “outed” as a TERF (dodged a bullet kek) but that also doesn’t mean I’m heartless either.
No. 1624156
File: 1688440742398.jpg (26.51 KB, 383x636, 1626414933698.jpg)
>>1624073>implying I'd beat him alonelul begone Erza apologist
No. 1624159
File: 1688440988968.jpeg (149.29 KB, 750x843, 03531BCA-62C8-4D08-A844-423F3A…)
>>1624073I’m hope anon beats him and you for doubting her
No. 1624166
File: 1688442064102.jpeg (66.42 KB, 1024x1006, 8B6FD525-CE29-4891-BAA1-E53298…)
WHO THE FUCK IS LETTING TRANNIES BREAST FEED
DISGUSTING
No. 1624206
File: 1688447205692.gif (917.38 KB, 200x200, 200w.gif)
Today I was harassed by two dudes who were no older than twenty. Kids. I was looking at a pair of shoes for my daughter, when I sense someone is rapidly approaching from behind. An arm reached over my right shoulder to grab at something, then I heard a lazy voice drawl out "YOURE HAWWTT". I snapped around, incredulous and fucking pissed. These two assclowns met my furious gaze and immediately averted their eyes. "Excuse me?!" I asked, and the one on the left spluttered "MY DAUGHTER HAS THOSE SHOES" while pointing at the ones I had previously examined. Tweedle dum continued to stare wide eyed off into the aether. "Okay…. AND?!" I asked with clear disdain in my voice. Met with slack-jawwed breathing and refusal to make eye contact. These two were maybe twelve inches from my face. They came up on me and clearly had some sort of nasty idea in mind before I whipped around. My nigel was an aisle over and heard the tone of my voice. He came around the corner as I said with the most venomous tone I could muster "You BOYS have a nice day." Glaring as I walked off. My nigel was with our daughter, he was clearly pissed and barked at the morons. They scooted away quickly and I calmed my nigel, told him not to worry and kept shopping.
The fucking audacity of those two shitheels. I would looooooove to alog right about now but it is hellweek. Male entitlement is just getting more rampant as the days pass, these new generations have zero respect for one another, and don't even bother pretending they don't see women solely as holes. I rarely leave the house by myself anymore as I get harassed frequently. I dress like a mature woman, rarely wear makeup and am fucking 5'10". Moids don't give a fuck about your age or appearance, they'll try to assault you however they can if it means getting their rocks off. All their fucking bullshit about "well don't dress sexy you won't get unwanted attention" yeah FUCK YOU BRO. The mongers don't give a shit. As a 29 year old woman this is OLD. I'm fucking sick of it and wish moids would just fuck off entirely. So what ails me, nonnie? Fucking MOIDS
No. 1624326
>>1622488Late response but I'm so glad there's other autistic nonnies here with hyperempathy. It's hard to explain to others that when a friend shares they're doing badly I get uncomfortable. Not because I don't empathize, but because I empathize so much I can't stand not being able to fix it. I cannot count the amount of times I've been told not to internalize everything that happens to others.
On a similar note, there's this trend going around on tiktok with sad poetry and the like and honestly I've burst out into tears a dozen times from it. Same with anything regarding animals in a sad situation. I will bawl right away.
No. 1624333
>>1624177Lol no.
>>1624188Please do actually you'll put him out of his misery
No. 1624350
File: 1688471088757.png (690.22 KB, 1080x1119, Screenshot_20230704-064542.png)
Every social media website I try to browse I end up getting bombarded with this motherfuckers videos for days in end. LEAVE ME ALONE.
No. 1624497
File: 1688486828170.jpg (15.36 KB, 325x236, 1669764793315.jpg)
>meet guy on dating app
>message with him for over two weeks almost daily
>he asks me out for a coffee, i say yes
>he ghosts me the day before the coffee date
i'm baffled
No. 1624506
i love my boyfriend so much. i get to meet him in a few days and my heart is so full…no red flags with him. i cant even think of something that annoys me or scares me, and we’re mostly past the honeymoon stage at this point. i dont even worry something small will come to annoy me while we are in person together because we do our best to communicate and have our own hobbies and little goals we like to accomplish individually. we also each have a small handful of our own friends but mostly we just work & do stuff we love individually or together on the phone. i’ve never been with a guy i did not fear in some way or someone who did not have red flags, and its lovely. he is so patient and kind and intelligent. hes so hilarious too! he comes off as pretentious but the truth is that hes a softie for animals and the people he loves, way more than i am. its so endearing. he loves to read and play piano and chess. god, he used to have 6 foot tall stacks of books surrounding his bedroom. he doesnt do drugs or engage in anything bad online (he lurks 4chan but its usually literature or nature related) he loves to cook too! and he teaches me so much without judgement. hes been so patient with me, too, while i was dealing with a few months worth of bad mental illness, a substance addiction and trying to find the right medicine…and now things have been wonderful for a long time now. and its so genuine and stable, and im medicated and things are moving forward and he was right. it got better. he was right that he loves me—i mean can you imagine a man who would stay with a girl always having panic attacks, feeling terribly suicidal and sleeping days away?! i cant. sometimes i feel too lucky and it worries me, but i quickly try to remember that will only make things worse if i reflect that. this drags me into what i was just thinking about and wanted to vent here for…cptsd from my father. but also just the fact that i hate my body. i remember at 15 years old i became morbidly obese because i was coping with food and nobody intervened, doctors kept pumping me on ssri medicines, nobody cared. i was just told to not eat, but its not like anyone was home to cook. its not like they wondered why this all happened with no history of obesity in our family??! why i was coping with my trauma by hiding food in my room to eat 24/7…i wonder now why no extended family intervened because they were involved in my life for a while. i cant imagine myself in a scenario where i witnessed a poor child suffering like that!! i would do what i can to help them. im a very healthy weight (i was bordering underweight for a bit but i nipped that before it got bad) and have been for the past 5 years now so thats very nice and with age i learn to love nutrition and cooking and exercise! but sometimes i cry because of these terrible stretch marks. deformed belly button. big arms im working on toning but they look like old lady arms…mostly i dont care that ill never be attractive to some moid (because i have my boyfriend and males scare me in general) but im really nervous, that despite seeing my body, he might not like it in person. i have some loose tummy skin. he loves how i look so much but some days i feel like hes just lying to me…hes so handsome i cant believe i forgot to mention this. in high school he was very popular with girls if that means anything. hes not superficial by any means but with that said he can get any pretty intelligent girl so why stick with someone who has this ugly body? at least we wont be having kids so it cant get much worse but fuck i already look like ive had a kid with the stretch marks and loose skin! it just makes me so sad! there was nothing i could have ever done to tell little me what was wrong or why i was coping with food. i just wish someone helped. i wish someone had cared then. but the light is that now i have that person within me and within my boyfriend and some friends and through nature and animals and every little thing really. thats the bright side now. i used to think with age everything would get worse, and i slowly try to accept now that life sucks a lot of the time, but its hard to feel that depression nowadays when i have so much to look forward to. a shitty job but i have my boyfriend, online friends (i dont mesh with people in my age group and only go out to go to work but its so nice still!!!) online classes for my degree! animals my own or birds outside, i can take walks and do hobbies and LEARN all the time! its beautiful. i wont be selfish with this feeling forever ill certainly find ways to give back to others once so much isnt going on but ifeel really lucky and i feel really confident that this isnt going to crumble down because of how stable its been and how much ive been able to grow. im just so happy and i have myself and boyfriend to mostly thank. goodness, hes so lovely. he is my best friend.
No. 1624507
File: 1688488340662.jpeg (96.84 KB, 557x640, IMG_7073.jpeg)
>>1624506ah fuck nonnies i didnt realize how much i rambled im diary entry deprived sorry
No. 1624530
>>1624526Has anyone checked your iron levels via blood test? Dont take iron pills without talking to a doc (i know they are being dumb for you right now but iron pills can be
toxic if taken wrong) but maybe suggest youd rather try something like that first? Or not suggest, but tell them thats the route you are going and to help you do it safely kek. Sounds like pushing bc to me. Especially with no good reason to take bc I myself would not do it without a very, very good and clear cut reason. My mom and my gma have both taken iron supplements under doctor direction and both got their anemia under control.
No. 1624549
>>1624530>Has anyone checked your iron levels via blood test?Yes, I wouldn't have been referred to see the internist otherwise. I've been taking iron for the last couple of months and they want me to continue taking it for the time being after another blood test I got done last week.
>Dont take iron pills without talking to a docYou can't (legally) get iron without a doctor's recipe here but thanks for your concern and input ♥
No. 1624551
>>1624542Why don't you record or write down what they specifically say so that you can judge it at a later time or share with close ones to see their take on it? You shouldn't have to deal with a
toxic workplace with bullies if they're pushing you to stay home. Escalate it if it's preventing you from doing your job, like it is right now. Stay strong, nona.
No. 1624580
File: 1688496268852.jpg (51.3 KB, 750x739, EUqNNQjUMAATlsU.jpg)
why can't my coworker get it through her thick skull that the reason why she was taught how to do the customs paperwork was so i have one less thing to do on days when our other coworker is off and i have to cover all of her duties on top of getting my own done.
"nonny can you pretty please do the customs papers today??" fuck off you're lucky i didn't quit the last time i was stuck running our entire department because you suddenly decided you were going to leave early knowing i would be here on my own when we were crazy busy. what pisses me off even more is that i get paid significantly less than this old bitch yet i'm acknowledged as the better employee smh
No. 1624652
My friend's gf keeps trying to work with me because my friend told her I'm an entrepreneur (god, I hate that word) and have done very well for myself, but she's… kinda dumb. Like she was literally subscribed to Andrew Tate's "Hustlers University" and still didn't make any money, kek. You can tell she's consumed too much sigma male grindset content because she's like "oh I could be your receptionist while you teach me the ropes! I'll get you food and everything!" my sister in christ I don't even have an office. I've been working on my sofa under an old Spider-Man duvet today because I'm sick. Even on a good day my "uniform" is usually underwear and a bathrobe and I go 8-10 hours without eating most days. What the fuck am I going to do with a receptionist who got scammed by the Tates?! She's a nice girl and I feel awful saying this but I just… have no need for her; and even if I did, I would hire someone more competent.
>>1624645Same. I also have brain damage but have made decent recovery from it. My life is good now and I'm sober as a judge without it being soul-destroying, which took a lot of work and I am proud of that. But I still miss heroin on a regular basis. It's just really fucking good.
No. 1624654
>>1624653Samefag, scratch that. I don't even get away from it in my sleep because I frequently have sleep paralysis, likely caused by a mixture of my poor mental health and sleep.
I think about killing myself a lot but I hold on because of my husbando and life goals.
No. 1624659
>>1624652Glad you made it through and recovered okay from your brain damage
nonnie! We're both on the right path, I never did heroin (doc were benzo's, alcohol and painkillers) but the combination did feel like how I would imagine. A warm place where nobody is out to harm you and you have no worries at all. If I could have it back for just one second, god I wish I never started.
No. 1624707
File: 1688506460600.jpg (40.96 KB, 520x471, b88048951cbc7684a8df2f776f3d9e…)
I wanna cry and throw up. My sister and her fiancé (whos works as a pharmacist) are vax positive people and my parents are really against getting vaccinations. I got vaccinated when I stayed over at my sisters house for the week. I was a bit scared cause of all the shit my dad says about covid vaccines how they are dangerous whatevr but I took it anyway cause I dont want to get covid for the 3rd time and her fiancé gets points for vaccinating people. Since my parents wont get vaccinated my sister and niece have to visit my parents without him knowing cause he doesnt like that my parents arent vaccinated. I just hate that we have lie about my parents hanging out with my sister and niece and makes me anxious for her cause she has to be apart from us sometimes. I don't know if her fiance would be chill with our parents hanging out with my sister/niece or mad cause they are not vaccinated. My parents don't know that I am vaccinated and that I smoke weed. I don't even smoke weed that much either it wouldn't be as fun but it sucks that I hate to hide that I like weed. My parents are very Christian/Conservative? type of people and personally I don't like to pick sides so I'm not exactly Christian or political. I just don't know how they are gonna react cause I do want to tell them and that its my choice to do things. It breaks my heart having to hide secrets and have my sister be apart from my parents. We are going to hang out at my parents house tonight and I hope things go well, or maybe Im just being too anxious.
No. 1624801
>>1624798I wish I had a father at all. I wonder how many nonas grew up fatherless? I feel so alone in that on here, I don't see it discussed. I know i'll get
>Based>Good fuck scrotesbut it's weird for me, in my everyday life I don't think or care about my dad, yet I have dreams every other night about him accepting me, or being rude/
abusive towards me and changing or finally loving me. I guess deep down I do care.
No. 1624815
>>1624801My father was mostly absent. He only showed for my birthdays for a few years and gifted me a car when I was a teenager which was nice and actually very important for me as I wouldn't have got a car any other way. There were birthdays where I didn't even get a phone call or he would come days after it had already passed. The other 364 days out of a year we didn't communicate at all. I have 3 other half siblings. I used to feel kind of salty that two of them got to have both parents, a nice home, etc.. while I didn't. Other than that I don't feel any particular way about my father, I think because my mother was so much worse. He's not anyone I love or hate, he's just a guy who exists.
I think the most impact that my father's absence had on me is wanting to just make sure that my future children have both parents, whether I have them with a man or a woman. I think it's incredibly important for kids to have two parental figures for many reasons.
No. 1624821
>>1624818my dad was around but he abused my mother badly, called my brother a faggot. I still remember the day him and my broke up, he had cheated on her, we came home and ##he threw something at my mom, but it hit me, he didn't even care, my mouth was bleeding and he was like, "See? Look what you did, you hurt her".
From there, he got remarried, he lived walking distance from us, but we could only see him weekends and only SOME weekends when my mom would let us or he wanted.
For some reason all the abuse I seen my mom go through because of men in her life, as a kid, didn't really compute, but right now i'm so overwhelmed thinking about it.
Because my mom's current boyfriend is
abusive in another way, verbally but..it's a lot. I still want acceptence from my dad, who lives his life not caring about me or anything. I know it's fucked up and weird.
I feel thats why I have these dreams.
You do count as fatherless, because I know what having a mom is, but I don't know what having a dad is even though he lived with us for some years. I never had a dad.
No. 1624834
File: 1688521972699.jpg (51.52 KB, 736x727, 5d9746b77361e6f3bbef9a93ba3c12…)
Realized that I used to be 130/40 lbs and still wanted to lose weight and I'm 170 now, so even if I lose 40 lbs right now I still won't be happy with myself.
No. 1624840
File: 1688522648243.png (499.17 KB, 1906x932, ME ON LOLCOR.png)
I love my cat Slim Jim, but this is what me trying to look at my screen is like 90% of the time.
No. 1624851
>>1621604this nonna again, don't know if he was serious about the dox drop but i'm still preparing.
just updating, checked phone yesterday, found out old friend of both this moid and i was mad at me because he thought i was "lying about him again"(a friend was taking the piss and she said i said something about said friend that i didn't) and threatened to leak pictures that my ex gave to him when they talked again, i doubt it's of lewd nature but i've also always been fat so they're definitely not flattering either. even though this mutual is seas away i'm kind of scared because he's a fucking nutcase too, if my dox ends up in his hands who knows what he'll do. he wasn't too kind to his ex
back to point, right now i've just deleted my main instagram acc, paypal acc, locked my facebook account, changed up pretty much any other social media that fall under my internet presence and will be offline alot more. only decided to delete the paypal because this old friend used the send money feature and it just said "You fucked with the wrong perso.." before i just cleared my notifs. checked paypal activity, history, and more but couldn't find it so he probably took whatever the fuck that was back but this is awful. i literally can't enjoy the internet anymore
this is pretty detailed and my ex is terminally online and always knew where i browsed.
No. 1624863
File: 1688525582622.jpeg (144.55 KB, 810x1080, ACED4880-4094-4078-824E-66D11E…)
My relationship is so terrible but my girlfriend is the vindictive type and would blackmail me. If I can’t keep up the miserable charade until December then the risk of her spilling dirt on me goes away.
No. 1624887
File: 1688527523968.jpg (129.25 KB, 1280x720, 23vqsk.jpg)
I'm trying to figure out if my depression is out of control even more than usual or I'm actually unhappy in my relationship. my fiance doesn't watch porn, takes care of me when I'm sick, whatever I need he gets it for me usually, pays most of the bills, we get along great and he considers me his best friend. But I just feel empty, for all the positives there's negatives that eat me up. Our sex life is shit and I have a much higher drive. He made me insecure in the beginning of our 8 year relationship because he said I wasn't loud enough etc all comments that made him insecure as if he wasn't doing a good job. He has since profusely apologized and he was a teenager at the time and blah blah. Calls me beautiful and checks on me in the middle of sex and works hard to make me orgasm. But I still will refuse sex unless it's in the dark, on a good month we have it 2x/week or 6x a month at most maybe.
He says he'll get me flowers or whatever and then forgets, does this with a lot of gifts but he remembers on valentines day and all that. We barely go on dates and we just stay at home and game. He has 0 posts on social media but seeing his guy friends post their gfs or wives makes me feel sad. I want to be shown off, I want to go on adventures with him, I want more sex. But he is boring and forgetful at worst. I feel like I'm giving my everything and he's just aloof and has no drive. Stays comfortable all the time.
Sometimes I daydream that I break up with him and live on my own and go out hiking with friends and meet a guy that fucks me like an animal but lovingly. Im so sexually frustrated but consumed with self hate. I've been having more breakdowns and one was in front of him where I lost my shit and threw myself against the wall until I was bruised and bloody. I've smashed glasses and cut myself but he doesn't know. The wall thing made him freak out and he was really worried. It triggered because I spent the entire week deepcleaning for a visit from his friends and always clean and cook. One of our coworkers told me some gossip and mentioned he was gonna call me to tell me but got busy. My husband is trying to move up and was upset the coworker didn't tell him the problems going on, he already felt like a loser because the day before he was in charge for the first time and didn't do so well ( in his eyes). He said he was disappointed in me for not saying "did you tell [husband] what about him?" and wtf at the guy saying he'll call me, and I said you literally worked the same day he probably thought you knew already and he's happily married. it just broke me, I don't know. It seems small and silly but it broke me and i threw myself against the wall. I want to kill myself so badly nonnies, what scares me is what if I do leave him and I'm just the same in the end mentally.
I need to get help before I kill myself . I'm spiraling again
No. 1624899
>>1624887It doesn't seem like you'll ever be happy unless you get some help,
nonnie. It sounds like you have some serious issues and honestly you should break up with him for his sake because it doesn't seem like you truly love him.
No. 1625018
File: 1688539329228.jpg (35.47 KB, 500x493, 295.jpg)
fuck I have the biggest crush on my friend. I think he feels the same but it would never work out because we aren't the same religion. He is tall and muscular without being disgusting, with long hair and a cute smile. We talk all the time and make each other laugh. AGH why does life have to be complicated.
No. 1625090
File: 1688547708698.jpg (44.29 KB, 680x680, FzvgXYIWAAAjGUj.jpg)
>>1624887You remind of me of last year…I used to be with a guy similar to that, it lasted for 4 years. The situation was a bit worse than yours, he barely looked at me anymore, sex was 1-2 times per week at best, and I had a much higher sex drive than him. He had no drive for life, didn't wanna live but didn't want to kill himself and just…existed. Breaking up with him was easy, but I never stopped feeling guilty about it, like I disappointed him. Am I happy that I did it? Yes, the relationship wasn't going anywhere. Am I happier in general? I try to. I hope you get better and make the right decision over your relationship…took me a long time to see that I needed to leave, best of luck to you.
No. 1625097
File: 1688549054867.jpg (32.53 KB, 720x960, 1663300874645.jpg)
Just a socially-inept closted-lesbian failure-to-launch NEET desperate for someone to love and to love me and crying myself to sleep about it
No. 1625155
>>1624887i'm in a similar situation. everything is fine besides that we've nearly always barely had sex (a couple times a year at most) and don't have 100% the same plans in life. most of the time it's not a big deal, but like now when i'm unemployed/not doing anything, it starts to wear on me. he's really attractive and it hurts me to think of us never talking again and i get worried breaking up would be a mistake, but the relationship feels more like a friendship, it's passionless (and i don't even think what i want is asking too much), he's messy/disorganized/lazy. he's a good provider, i can openly talk about whatever i want with him, hates porn… i just quietly cry sometimes when alone though. when i visit my parents they're like, flirty with each other. i never thought i'd be jealous of my parents' relationship. he compliments me a lot but it feels like that's the end of it. i fantasize about being single too, not to meet other guys but legitimately to be on my own and i could up and move wherever i wanted for work/grad school. and i feel like no matter what i'm going to be depressed, sometimes i wish we never met. we've been dating for years, we say we love each other, but i'll never really "have" him, because we don't want the same things. not sure what to do. but becoming gradually more comfortable with the idea of breaking up the more i think about it.
No. 1625162
File: 1688560643083.jpg (316.2 KB, 1075x1917, F0KQW0xacAEfhx5.jpg)
>>1625121I don't really understand the controversy. Isn't this just a gnc man? I thought it'd be a troon
No. 1625187
>>1624899thank you i think before any rash decisions I need to get help first. after i made the post i had another breakdown and smashed glass on my face and he spent an hour cleaning up the blood. I have no idea why im doing this, i have no idea why i'm spiraling. it started 3 yrs ago i had a traumatic childhood and my childhood cat died and i started hallucinating and got help for that. stopped 1-2 yrs ago and i morphed into this. i feel like i have so much self hatred and apathy im losing the ability to control myself
I think i truly love him though i didn't used to be like this, ever since this year started ijust been going downhill mentally. Honestly i love him and he loves me i just dont love myself
>>1625090Thanks for your response you give me things to think about
>>1625155i relate to you sometimes i feel like a roommate or a robot. the days blend into eachother as Im waiting for more but it never comes. I fantasize about being alone too just a peaceful small apartment with me and my cats. Wish we were friends irl it would be nice to have someone that can relate. Probabbly scaring you off with my mentally ill ass behavior though lol
No. 1625231
>>1625065Me too, although I've only been in an LDR for 2 years. I've only kept it going because it's low effort, we only met once at his insistance (and buying tickets without really waiting for an answer from me) but I do not plan on ever living with this guy or any guy really. Seeing how men basically devolve into children once they move together with a woman made me completely turned off of family life. Especially since most men don't even want to play the role of the father, they just want to
be one. My fellow countrymen are sadly some of the most entitled and sexist in Europe.
No. 1625238
File: 1688570598890.jpg (110.45 KB, 1075x1355, wp7683459.jpg)
>>1623903To add onto this, my period started a little early so I feel even worse at work and my mom might have breast cancer. We're going to find out this month. I'm so tired nonas. I just want things to get better.
No. 1625267
>>1625187i'm
>>1625155 and you don't scare me off at all! it made me feel better that someone related to me and also responded.
>Wish we were friends irl it would be nice to have someone that can relatesame, nonners. ♥
No. 1625319
I hate living with other people. I've never lived alone and I daydream of it constantly as I'm trying to save up enough money to make the move. I hate that I've never once gotten to decorate a place to my liking and make the rules of how things are done. I live with my boyfriend now and everything is done to his taste. The way we stack the dishwasher, which days we do laundry and how, where the cutlery is supposed to be and when and how we're supposed to hoover and clean the apartment. We have tons of mixed cutlery from our student days that is broken and old, along with scraped up pans and bowls. We have bought new ones, but he doesn't want to toss the old ones away because "we can still use them". Bitch, when? Our kitchen cabinets is full of junk that we don't need!
Our apartment is so ugly. His taste sucks. Nothing feels like home. I wish I had grown a spine a couple of years ago and not gotten stuck in this relationship with him due to finances. I wish the job market didn't suck so bad that it's taking me years just to find a company who wants to give me a permanent contract. I turn 29 this year and to never have lived on my own feels like such a failure. Like I'm missing out on getting to be just myself in my own space. I daydream of things as simple as taking a shower without being timed for water usage, do the laundry in the evening instead of the morning and throw out an old pan if I don't need it. Hell, I dream of getting a new and nice set of plates just because, not until all our plates are broken beyond repair! Last night I thought about how nice it would be to not have to wear headphones when I want to listen to my own music because my boyfriend plays his music out loud by default. I'm such a doormat, I know, but right now I'm just keeping a low profile until I can get out of here. It's not like talking and asking to do stuff my way ever ended in anything but an argument anyway, so why bother?
No. 1625342
File: 1688581674350.jpeg (3.69 KB, 227x222, images (1).jpeg)
>>1625326We're the same, find me anon, FIND ME!
No. 1625365
File: 1688583154447.jpg (103.12 KB, 561x607, justgetmesanrioshityoudweeb.jp…)
My moid friend of 10 years some time ago sent me some cool watches and he was like "these are totally your style!" and i was like "they are! they would make a nice birthday gift". Some time after that i told him how much cute sanrio shit there is on aliexpress and that i had to stop myself from buying it all. I told him how sad i was that i didn't have female friends who were into that, so i could buy all that stuff for them. My birthday was the other day and even though i didn't expect anything, he got me worse shit than i thought. He got one kinda expensive gift which was nice, but the rest was just pure garbage. I know he bought that shit at a store near his house and no thought went into them at all. He didn't even give me a watch! They were mainly peripherals and accessories for my laptop and phone; things i didn't even need! One of them was really low in quality as well in terms of usage and he was like "well, it looks nice so you could at least hang it up on your wall or something". Wtf? I'd rather he had just gotten me the one expensive gift and that was it. The other tagged on shit is just insulting. He could've easily gotten me the same stuff but from Sanrio/Aliexpress for less money and i would've actually 100% liked it. Why are moids so fucking stupid, i will never understand. I want to confront him about it but then i come off as being spoiled because he did get me that one expensive gift, which almost makes it seem to me that he got it just so i couldn't complain about the other stuff. I've gotten him nice gifts for his birthday and christmas every single year since i've known him cause i/my family could afford it. This is the first year that he could afford better gifts as well and then i get… this. I don't know why it is so upsetting to me.
No. 1625380
File: 1688583894931.jpeg (209.16 KB, 1099x1119, 57CC40B8-24B1-400B-ABD9-A7667D…)
>>1625342Sorry you feel this way too
nonny, I hope we can get through it!
No. 1625462
>>1625236>this vent goes out to the "u sound 16 grr" fatty hereKEK I swear I've seen her post that a few times now. On a serious note, I hope you have a plan or are able to move out soon. Your mom sounds exhausting to be around. Sending love,
nonnie.
No. 1625531
File: 1688595564580.jpg (31.69 KB, 563x342, 6d30b7ad2fc3eae20d4ec063cdd15a…)
I hate people who scrape the bottom of the bowl with the spoon while they're eating, like they just have to gobble up that last little centimeter of yogurt at the bottom of the bowl. They're desperate to eat every last particle of food that they can shovel into their faces like they're starving to death and this is first meal they've had in a month and they're frantically trying to collect those two calories worth of yogurt. They're too braindead to realize that they ate it all and scraping the bottom of the bowl doesn't magically make more yogurt appear STOP SCRAPING THE FUCKING BOWL YOU RETARD THERE'S NOTHING FUCKING LEFT YOU ATE IT ALL
No. 1625533
File: 1688595682281.gif (139.44 KB, 278x310, 72990dfadc0c8ee686b701e0fafbcb…)
I'm not enjoying my vacation
No. 1625548
File: 1688596346967.gif (1.14 MB, 220x220, Tumblr_l_542111183316220.gif)
Fuck night shift, and fuck customers who come have drinks when I'm already cleaning and ready to close the doors any moment now. I hope they all die.
No. 1625562
File: 1688596857379.jpg (12.2 KB, 275x274, 1677893113598.jpg)
How do you get over the shame of having an 'unconventional' or 'weird' husbandos? Or at least, break up with your husbandos and reframe the obsession into something more…normal? I used to love them so so much, but after a moment of enlightenment, I just feel so much shame, resentment and embarrassment over them and how they infest my waking thoughts and dreams. Yet I still love them and where they've come from. I tried posting again in the husbando thread but I just suddenly felt sick. I realize it was wrong and feel so dirty I just want to love them in a purer way. It's terrible I just want to have a normal husbando but I mentally, emotionally, and physically can't get into most of the 'normal' ones even if they resemble my husbandos personality and character wise. I'm trying to reframe my love into them from that of eros to something like philia. This is actually starting to affect me more than I realize I just feel gross and the thing that I used to love is just corrupted.
No. 1625572
File: 1688597321825.jpg (399.7 KB, 1006x599, Screenshot_20230612-091541_Fir…)
I am soooo fucking bored of vague conversations about who and what is "problematic". I was at my sister's party with her normie friends and that's all they could talk about, but in the most vague, Instagram-infographic ways. Like they literally don't even have examples or substantive things to say about the issue, just:
>mentions any author or musician
>"I heard he's said some problematic stuff"
>"Oh weird, I didn't read that, like what?"
>"I don't really know, I just saw it on Twitter, but it wouldn't surprise me"
I'm opposed to sexism, racism, etc but wtf, at least know what the fuck you're actually talking about before you shut down an entire conversation with your vapid virtue signaling,tfffff. It made me keep convos very light and personal bc apparently you can't discuss any creative work without someone identifying a "problem".
No. 1625579
>>1625562Moids love watching neko lolis getting molested by ugly bastards, yet here you are feeling bad and impure over liking wacky fictional guys, you need to realize you're hurting nobody, love and passion are part of the human experience don't feel bad just because the target of your affection is not conventional. I
personally don't see a problem with it
No. 1625582
File: 1688597846784.jpg (734.14 KB, 1076x1341, Screenshot_20230523-190002_Ins…)
>>1625562Oh nona, you're OK. Is there a particular trait that you're embarrassed about? This is a totally personal topic and you're allowed to love who you love.
No. 1625617
>>1625579I mean I get that but honestly I can't help but think that at the very least they're human even if it may be fucked up. I can't even feel any sexual pleasures for humans and don't even desire companionship with one at this point. I'm genuinely too far gone and I hate it. I hate that I was so delusions and thought "nuh-uh, my tastes aren't weird people are just making a big deal out of it haha" but I was a retard, a wrong one at that. I hate how this obsession with a dumb kiddy franchise has taken a vice grip upon me and yet I can't stop loving it so much. I feel like I've forsaken the one thing I love by corrupting it with lewd desires, something so incredibly pure is tainted. I feel like a fake fan or a poser for the one thing I actually love and keeps me going I don't know how to deal with this. The art I've made, the stories I've made, the ideas I've made. It's all wrong. None of it no better than the people who turn characters trans and gay and ooc or whatever the fuck. When I see all the plushies and figures and pins in my room of them, I feel all their eyes on me and it's this horrible judgey extreme and disgusting feeling that makes me want to hurl. I can't even purify myself because they don't sell castration drugs like medrox online and I don't even know how to work a TOR for shit so I can't even buy it from there so I can't even brute force these wrong desires of mine out of me. I can't even talk to the people I know in my life because they never will understand and because it will come off as extremely fucking retarded and insane. The people I trusted, that I hoped would've understood my feelings, actually don't and just shrugged it off as me being normal when it's not, it's absolutely not, it never will be and I'm tired of pretending otherwise. I feel so alone at this point cause even if I reach out the wrong things I've drawn and desired will always supersede any form of change I will try to make. I want to be pure goddamn it. I hate this so fucking much.
>>1625582>Is there a particular trait that you're embarrassed about?Everything. Though mostly the fact that they're not even human and are far removed from what's deemed as "normal" by them and I feel like this is a punishment so to speak that I've been ignoring and it's finally caught up to me.
No. 1625629
>>1625617Ok here's what you'll do:
Quit your porn addiction. It'll be very, very difficult, but trust me, it's possible. Stop drawing and writing porn of them. Stop looking at NSFW shit that other people make, because they'll just reinforce your fetish (you seeing those characters in a sexualized manner).
Spend time getting into some other franchise that features more human characters, preferably one that isn't very "kiddy". Don't get into media solely because you want to fuck the characters or because you're looking for fanart or fanfiction fuel. Just spend some time enjoying things that have nothing to do with sex or having a romantic obsession with characters. I know it's hard but maybe getting friends/family to enjoy new things with you will help.
I don't know if it's possible for you to be attracted to normal humans since none of my husbandos have been non-human, but it's a start.
No. 1625647
File: 1688601024245.jpeg (54.9 KB, 827x792, 437D9B09-AF6D-4770-88C9-F4236B…)
Why do I seem to creep out anyone I develop a crush on? I swear I don’t act like an autistic freak when I like someone but somehow they know and avoid me. Ugh maybe in the next life my default won’t be unsettling outsider. This girl at the coffee shop used to say hi and then I developed a crush, now she hides out the back when she sees me. Kill me
No. 1625652
>>1625629Samefag, I'm
>>1625619 but I made the second post after reading your second post because it's clear that you're feeling very, very guilty about this and want to seriously quit.
So you could either try to quit (maybe use the porn addiction thread on /g/ for advice on how to do it), accept your autism/degeneracy, or keep your husbandos but keeping your sexual attraction to yourself this time and try tone it down. You could even keep posting on the husbando thread but without saying who you're talking about if someone asks, many anons do that because they don't want to be recognized and/or they're too ashamed. If you can't stop liking these characters after all, maybe try finding a like-minded person who is into the same things as you and keeping it between you two so you don't feel guilty about what other people think.
No. 1625662
>>1625629Funnily enough, I have been doing almost all of that. I deleted all of my art from PC, and any presence I had relating to that art. So I don't corrupt others too. I no longer have any interest in drawing or drawing that sort of thing. I have been trying out new things, lately I got into Pikmin big time and I'm not hesitant with playing it because the characters aren't in my 'strike zone' so to speak. Honestly I'm tempted to do more extreme things because it feels like it's never enough. I was banking hard on chemical castration but I could barely find much research for chemicals castration for women because not surprisingly, women don't commit a lot of sexual crimes compared to men. I might try anti-depressants since I hear those can lower your libido but I don't want to pay so much money for a "might work" and I'm not confident in doing something "physical". I don't know, I guess now I just feel sad and lonely, pretty angry too I've been feeling like this for the past month. Though you're right, honestly it's time I move past these things as fast as possible it. It's not even so much as a porn addiction, I don't really masturbate much or feel much libido but I guess I just feel a lot of shame for even having such thoughts and having a sudden realization that the thing I was even into is essentially really fucking retarded in the grand scheme of things. Like, it's the antithesis of what being a fan of that series should be, and the series' philosophy, its characters, etc. I just feel sad.
No. 1625664
File: 1688601580429.png (429.61 KB, 598x601, 25 Funny Dogs That Can't Figur…)
The pain of dieting is having your last meal at like 6 pm cause you ate your calorie limit and you didn't space out your meals properly.
No. 1625666
File: 1688601778197.jpg (55.28 KB, 720x699, FyeBeZqWAAA1neX.jpg)
>>1625665I could've wrote this.
No. 1625673
>>1625660
Even if you didn't masturbate to it, I'd say it's still like a porn addiction since you say it was never enough for you and you kept drawing and writing about it. It's just a habit that's hard to break, you don't need to fuck yourself up with chemicals just to get rid of it. Please don't actually do that.
Also, there's no need to be so hard on yourself. I know you must be feeling very guilty right now, but self-flagellation is a tad extreme. Feeling ashamed is normal but it's not as bad as you think it is, you didn't commit a crime or anything. You just made as mistake, in your own opinion. A lot of women who grew up on the internet got porn addictions of some kind and got off to morally questionable drawings, but then grew up and got over it eventually (me included). It is embarrassing, and sometimes disgusting, to remember those times, but that's in the past. You can definitely get over this, even if it takes a while. And maybe it'll take you a few tries, but that's normal, just don't give up, I believe in you.
No. 1625685
>>1625673I think I meant to reply to
>>1625662Not sure how I linked the wrong post number
No. 1625693
>>1625673You're right, it is and I shouldn't try to deny it as such. I guess I kind of hoped that I could turn this obsession into something 'purer' but at this point I think I'm just coping extra hard. Honestly quitting it all cold turkey is something I plan to do now that I think about it, though the idea of boxing up and ridding of all my merchandise, games, art, books, makes me want to hurl but as you said it's just a hard habit I need to break and I will. See, I know that there are downsides to chemicals but I do know that they produce really good results depending on the chemicals used such as medroxyprogesterone or leuprolide and I'm not too hung up on losing any and all sex drive since there's no way I'll ever be able to date a person and the results kind of outweigh health risks in my eyes. I think it's starting to become like an intrusive thought that I have to get rid of my libido by any means necessary, like I get thoughts about burning myself down there or anything to just remove any feeling or desire from down there. However leuprolide is fucking expensive and I fear ever going to a psychologist to get a prescription since I completely fucked up the last time I had a therapist when she pried a bit more into my desires and inability to feel attraction for others and when I told her what I was into she just got very distant and I felt so embarrassed that I just quit on my own. I think in a sense I'm tired of being lonely and abnormal, and I know that if I do become normal I'll be able to fit in with society and make friends. I know but I can't help it, it just feels so wrong and I feel bad like I've messed up big time. Thanks
nonnie, and you're right cause eventually it will all be in the past and I can take the thing I love and hate it with the passion of a thousand suns and leave it all behind me. Thank you.
No. 1625723
>>1625694Because she said she feels guilty about thinking of them in an impure way and she drew and wrote a lot of NSFW stuff about them.
>I feel like I've forsaken the one thing I love by corrupting it with lewd desires, something so incredibly pure is tainted>The art I've made, the stories I've made, the ideas I've made. It's all wrong.So she's saying that a lot of the stuff she has made and thought about is sexual, and she's only feeling guilty about it recently. But I agree, her extreme guilt might also be related to OCD.
>>1625693>I guess I kind of hoped that I could turn this obsession into something 'purer' but at this point I think I'm just coping extra hardIf you fall in love with a character it's natural that you'd think about them sexually too. That, in itself, is not porn addiction. I was referring to looking at and constantly producing such content (especially if fetishes were involved).
>Honestly quitting it all cold turkey is something I plan to do now that I think about it, though the idea of boxing up and ridding of all my merchandise, games, art, books, makes me want to hurlWell, imo you don't need to do that. It can be a gradual change. Hide your merch away if you want, hate the franchise if you want, but one day, after a very long break, you might enjoy it again in a more normal way. But of course it's your choice if you want to sell all your merch and get rid of it.
Like I said, it's normal to be ashamed but not to this degree where you want to chemically sterilize yourself. It doesn't matter that the characters aren't human, you did not purposefully go after something sinister like a child character or something vile like that. Please don't feel like you have to hurt yourself over a shameful but ultimately harmless fetish. I think first you should learn to accept your attraction as something inoffensive (because it is) and then work from there, instead of having such an extreme reaction to yourself. You gotta calm down, realize it's not the end of the world that you are into this, even if it's retarded and embarrassing. It was fun for you and it brought you joy and you didn't hurt anyone. The characters and their world aren't real either so their hypothetical opinions of you shouldn't matter, don't give them power over you.
And if you keep your libido intact but never find a partner due to not being attracted to people, so what? Just learn to masturbate every now and then, it's really no big deal and no one has to know what you're into. Life is so much more than what turns you on. And who knows, you might eventually find yourself attracted to a person someday, so don't end up doing something you might regret later.
>I think in a sense I'm tired of being lonely and abnormal, and I know that if I do become normal I'll be able to fit in with society and make friends. I know but I can't help it, it just feels so wrong and I feel bad like I've messed up big timeWhatever happened to you to become like this wasn't your fault. You probably didn't choose to have that experience that changed whatever you're attracted to. And having a weird sexuality doesn't mean you can't have friends, because like I've said, life is not just about what turns you on. You don't have to be 100% normal to be a part of society, you can be a little weird in private and no one will care unless you make it public.
No. 1625736
File: 1688607092760.png (2.73 MB, 1734x1484, Screenshot 2023-06-21 at 11.51…)
okay so i thought for the last year that i was either 1) losing it (either late onset schizophrenia or early onset dementia) and imagining things 2) interacting with chemicals at work that would lead to #1
today i found out the fucking homeschooled mormon kids that live above us have been saying weird shit through the vents. like, i thought my husband was cheating on me because when we would get into fights they would yell his name (not a normal name) and sex noises. i can hear these fucking kids talk about us through the air vents and they even went outside after we had an argument to figure out what i was doing (angrily cleaning the kitchen to get my rage out) and tried to spy on me from our balcony (i usually have it partially opened for the cat sunbathe and we're high enough out he can't hurt anything)
anyway this is a fucking novel but i am so fucking livid right now. i can HEAR these fucking kids talking, I SAW THEM LOOKING INTO OUR PATIO AFTER TALKING ABOUT ME i am so annoyed i want to just close the vents this is such a direct violation of privacy and so gross. i want to go upstairs and say something??? but i also am non confrontational and my husband still thinks i'm making it up in my head even though i can straight up hear them. if i was going to make up shit it would be aliens or squirrels learning to speak
No. 1625824
>>1625812the advice i gave her was mostly stuff like telling her to look up resources in her area like woman's shelters and online therapy that can point her to extra resources in her area that she might not know about. stuff thats meant to help woman in crisis specifically.
i told her to make sure that she goes nowhere near the moid, at all, ever again. even if she has to get a male family member to go grab her stuff (he kicked her out)
i also said if she has to stay with a family member temporarily, to do that and to make sure she stays as far as possible from the scumbbag scrote. i told her to listen to her gut.
people in the thread were yelling at her and shouting go to cops over and over and saying it will solve the issue, and of course, her first reply was she was scared of what he would do to her if she went to the cops. she was clearly very disturbed and terrified and everyone was shouting one thing and one thing only "go to the cops" while insulting her. because of that, i thought i'd chime in but it resulted in a bunch of angry argumentative moids accusing me and shouting "go to the cops!" even more.
i said i didnt know the country OP was in, but at least in america cops are notorious for being unhelpful in those situations because they're moids who will side with the moid. even when there's evidence.
there's also the (to me) very obvious thing of "if i go to the cops and they side with him, then my bf will beat me harder after the cops disengage."
i know from experience first and secondhand that feeling of being scared to go to the cops. and i think that's an important feeling to trust. we feel that way for a reason.
i always think of the gabby petito bodycam footage. she was crying and in hysterics and her moid was being all chummy and calm and joking with the (male) cops and she was seriously distressed with marks on her body and insulting and blaming herself. they separated the couple for one night and that's it. she got murdered a week later.
moids in the thread were yelling at me saying that if she doesnt go to the cops then an abuser walks, which made me so pissed because it's people who don't take the
victims seriously is why abusers walk. if it was as simple as calling the cops, then most woman wouldn't be scared to actually come forward. i'd be terrified, one time i had the cops called on me because i was in crisis and the cop treated me like dirt. at least in america, cops are not suitable to treat situations like that with any sensitivity. i've never met a friendly cop.
>Thanks for caring about that woman.thank you. honestly i really tried my best. it hurt worse when people in the thread were accusing me of leading her astray and trying to fearmonger her against calling the cops. if i thought the cops would help, then i would want her to call the cops. but honestly it feels like calling the cops will more likely just lead to an angrier moid who will abuse her even harder, after the cops don't deal with the situation correctly. which i don't trust them to.
i really don't know how it is in other countries, but at least living in america it feels like cops here are often the type to beat their wives.
No. 1625965
>>1625958doublepost, but i really don't feel like arguing for the rest of the day, like i said i'm in the vent thread specifically because this deeply upset me and i was directly addressing an anon who replied to me asking a genuine question that i did my best to respond to, so i'm not really feeling like proving myself anymore than i have to. i'm not in the mood.
if you care so much then do your own research, i'm out. if you read my post you could have looked up the video yourself and seen that correlates to what i said and that's that. i'm not gonna go digging up domestic abuse statistics when the idea of it has already ruined my day
No. 1625968
File: 1688627651862.jpg (76.48 KB, 1080x609, 347054882_2562690373879343_425…)
Trying to bump disturbing imagery from the front page. Please navigate the site carefully, Nonas.
No. 1625972
>>1625966anon thank you so much for backing me up, it is exactly like this in america. no evidence is ever good enough until it's too late, just like you said. i really hate it so much. i am really sorry to hear it is like this in your country as well.
>>1625968ty kind nona
No. 1625973
>>1625965>>1625824You're
valid for feeling this way, nonita. I hear you, there are other nonnas here who I bet most likely hear you too. Me and them are with you. Was this about the nona who had discovered that her nigel was being a nasty scrote behind her back when he had given his Instagram password to her?
No. 1625979
>>1625973>>1625975i really appreciate both of you nonas for your kind words. thank you so much, really.
i also really hope OP got to read my post, i refused to go back to the thread after i got incredibly upset, but i really hope she escapes that situation.
No. 1626011
File: 1688632437271.png (16.5 KB, 916x500, EyykHsTXAAAd7aB.png)
Hey nannies,I wanted to vent here and also get some advice/second opinions
I'm a jobless "egirl", I don't want to discuss at detail what I do online, but I don't sell pictures of myself and profit off men
I'm in a healthy relationship with my bf and he's all that I can ever ask for. I see him being the person that I want to marry. He's never had an issue with my egirl escapades up until now. I don't think my bf fully understands what it's like to be under financially stress, since he comes from a wealthy family
I have a very mentally simp who has given me a lot of money (in the thousands ballpark). This started a year ago and in return for his money, I'd put up with his pathetic private messages to me. He would constantly tell me he loves me and about his delusions, I would never really entertain or agree to his pleas, but I took his money
I'm still jobless as I was a year ago, so I depend on some extent from the simp's money. I've cut off contact with him a couple months back because his interactions with me have taken a mental toll on me alongside my bf being displeased at the simp's intensifying delusions and absurdity of his messages
Since I've blocked the simp, we've ceased to have contact. Up until recent months where he sends me messages and money, but I never reply to him
I'm in a rut financially and mentally and am getting tempted to playing into the simp's delusions and milking him for more money. The obvious downsides would be making my boyfriend unhappy and letting the simp have headspace on me again
I know I'm a retarded whore but what would you guys think?
No. 1626042
File: 1688636432508.jpg (70.77 KB, 693x1378, EDiSKk4WsAE377J.jpg)
i thought adopting cats was supposed to make you less anxious, but i just missed half of my classes, had a panic attack and almost threw up because i wasn't 100% sure wether i closed a window before I left.
It's a window they cannot even reach yet because they're too small and can't jump that high.
I got scared and already pictured the worst ways they could die in case i left it open, and for what? they were literally both asleep in a totally different room.
i'm gonna give them a treat now and calm down…
No. 1626053
File: 1688637184920.gif (531.26 KB, 240x138, VacantDecimalIrukandjijellyfis…)
Ughhhh im not gonna have my usual place to crash for an upcoming rave. What a fucking bummer
No. 1626111
File: 1688645964755.gif (83.36 KB, 358x292, 20210128_122852_IMG_3607.GIF)
>>1625960NONNIE we are the fucking same. i know exactly the feeling!!! it's nothing to do with age regression, it's just an overwhelming feeling of sadness, and describing it as feeling like a "lost child" is accurate for me too. i don't particularly like or want children, so i don't know what the feeling means, and i don't tell anyone about it. the one time i did my ex acted like i was being super weird so i never told anyone since. sometimes something is so adorable it makes me extremely sad! especially if the cute creature is sad, like a crying cat meme. it genuinely makes me want to comfort it, or sometimes even be it. i personally chalk it up to "i guess that's where my maternal feelings have been placed"
No. 1626122
File: 1688647840170.png (5.16 KB, 273x126, IMG_1152.png)
my mom is still obsessed with having a youtube channel and she literally cries and screams over people not watching her videos and it kills me but also cringes me out to watch her beg people to watch her videos IN the videos she makes literally for like half of the actual "content" she's making. she cries about big channels and begs them too for exposure i wish they would all just die so that poor people like my mom wouldn't get so worked up about stupid shit like this. it's even worse because we are in dire need of money and she really thinks that youtube is the way like it's so ridiculous to type out that it's funny but i just hate my life it's so embarrassing and it hurts me so much to see her that upset especially considering we really are genuinely poor and underneath it all what she really wants is to get out of poverty. no matter what i tell her it's in one ear out the other i wish youtubers were never a thing especially in my third world country always spouting the wrongest information about how adsense and the internet in general works because none of those retarded schmucks are for real barely literate ( i'm not being figurative ) my country has a culture of shame in a way that's also show offy like to always pretend to know/have ( in that case one has to be more covert about it to be "humble" ) more than you do no matter what and being hardheaded about it. basically pretentious pridefulness in other words and making it sound so effortless and easy when it's just a game of luck and exploitation so now people like my mom will endlessly cry and a cryually rip her hair out over it because it seems so easy to her and that people are just evil and don't want to "support her" and then she gets on my ass about it too on a daily basis because i don't "help her enough" when i'm the one writing the titles and descriptions, editing her videos uploading them and organizing everything she wouldn't even have a channel at all in the first place because i'm the one who made it as she's illiterate. she had to break me down so much to be able to have one and i told her that she was going to be worked up about not achieving success and she wouldn't listen now look at her. she's hurting herself not just mentally but also physically and she's hurting me in those two ways as well. i know she really means well i know she has the best intentions but it breaks my heart and if i'm honest it's irritating me to death too. no matter what i say she won't listen to me but she'll listen to retarded braindead youtubers obsessed with talking/debating/really just gossiping about an underage girl's molestation case. she's so deep into her parasocial relationship with those youtubers too like she acts like they're part of the family it's so strange. i wish i never taught her how to use a mobile phone honest to god she would be a lot less stressed about our miserable poverty if she didn't know what youtube was and kept her stance about smartphones being unnecessary like she used to a little over a decade ago. it's seriously damaging her and myself and the relationship between us it's already enough that we're in severe debt with a man ( her son and my older brother ) that could not give less of a shit about and blows up at us for asking to get us groceries as none of us can work, which is exactly what drives her to think that "making it big" on youtube is the only way to get us out of the situation. she just won't understand that it's hopeless and it breaks my heart. i can't even be suicidal because i'm over that stage and i love my mom too much. i know this will probably be funny to read to some of you but i actually do live like this…
i wish every youtuber and especially those of my country would literally "blow up" and disappear forever. i wish the internet was still for "geeks" and never spilled out to normies and real life
No. 1626135
File: 1688649920452.jpeg (29.14 KB, 320x320, IMG_4940.jpeg)
Of course the day she decided to ruin is the day of my birthday. There is no other day I was expecting less in the whole year because I don’t like celebrations at all, and she couldn’t wait to ruin this already awful day.
She’s the best at making me feel insignificant. I would throw myself under a bus for her and it hurts knowing not only that she wouldn’t do the same for me (I know I can’t expect people to be the way I am) but that she wouldn’t care anymore if I disappeared.
No. 1626142
>>1626047i will now, thanks for the advice. i'll also double check that from now on. i don't often get worried like that, it's just that i've heard horror stories about cats getting strangled because they got stuck in those tilt & turn windows and it's haunting me.
>>1626050 thanks to you too
nonny for the warning, i didn't think about that. i only have pull-strings on a sun shade on the balcony and i don't think i'll let them out unsupervised but i might just remove it altogether
No. 1626161
>>1625723True, but I feel to an extent that it is more natrual to do that for characters that are normal like Kiriyu. Right, which I've been obsessively thinking about and looking at for a while, not so much as of now which is a start. Nowadays it's more shipping and r15 stuff.
>it can be a gradual changeI feel it will have to be. I tried boxing up my merchandise and while making an ebay listing and I ended up vomiting and canceling the entire thing as pathetic as that sounds. I can't bring myself to do it and I ended up getting really sad remembering all the supposedly great memories it has brought me. I guess is what they would call a emotional cost sunk fallacy. I can at least work at taking a break, and I have been which I feel has been doing good. That's the problem, it is harmful. I can't feel any form of sexual attraction to others, man or woman, which is a problem because I don't want to die alone I may have accepted it but I don't want to experience it. I can't date and marry a guy and say "Hey, sorry but I don't want to ever have sex and I will never feel romantic or sexual attraction to you because you don't resemble a kickball." no guy will want that and I feel the same could be say for women. You're right, I'm sorry about coming off as a little frazzled it's just been a bit too much as of late. Thank you again for the words. It did bring me joy, lots of it, bit I can't shake the feeling of it being wrong like alcohol. Like, even if alcohol is good it still can be bad if consumed in excess and constantly. I know they aren't real but I can't stop thinking about how they would find me disgusting and how they would hate me, or how the things I've done and the things I've thought invalidate my respect and idolization for the series. I will try to lower my emotional input into this obsession so that I can stop fretting so much.
>but never find a partner>and who knowsSee the thing about that is that I do know, I know and I've even tried a lot but I genuinely cannot feel any sexual or romantic attraction to others and I want to fix that, I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. At the very least, if I sterilized myself I wouldn't be thinking about my husbandos while dating someone and I wouldn't be emotionally cheating on him and if we had sex I wouldn't be emotionally cheating on him. They've already punished me for not fulfilling my duty, might as well go the whole nine yards. Again, you're right but even if it was out of my control I'm still extremely bitter over it, I'm bitter that I could've been normal but I'm not and will never be. Honestly? I have trouble maintaining friendships with others because I can't talk about the franchise I'm obsessed with and while I did have friends who were into that franchise it was all online and I would get upset when I noticed their tastes changed and they were no longer into the franchise and when I was with my more normie IRL friends and co-workers none of them actually gave a shit about it but I had to listen and be attentive with the things they liked all the time it was hell, the same goes for my family. I hate it. I hate that I put 100% into caring about the things others like but I can't get the same back from others face to face. I hate that I can't be passionate about the thing I idolize with others not tethered to a screen. I hate that I find it hard for me to care about things or others if they're not into my niche kiddy franchise. I can't use dating apps because it's all for sex. Everything is so porny and must be for sex, it's exhausting. It's tiresome. I'm tired of how porny everything is, how everything must be over-sexualized and how it's damn near inescapable and how it's ruined me.
Anyways, I apologize if I came off as rude. I'm just, tired and angry. Thank you, truly and deeply for the advice, it's helped a lot and it means a lot to me. I feel much better, thank you
nonnie.
>>1625580pink circle, penguin, and a knight.
No. 1626172
>>1626011Be careful when it comes to rando online men obsessing over you. Not worth the risk of what it can turn into. Close the door on that for your own sake, not just for your bf. Also keep in mind that most relationships where you think 'yeah this is the man I'm gonna marry' either end short of that or still end in divorce which doesn't just magically set you up for life either. Idk what age you are but you need to look at your life as yours to run. Not a case of which scrote to favor or rely upon today. Men come and go, thats all subject to change. You have to have a back up plan or know that you'll be ok if scrote promises fall through tomorrow.
Work on a more solid plan for yourself now and don't wait until you're in a worse position to get the motivation to do it. Too many women go into crisis when they rely purely on scrotes for income and don't have any plan outside of that for getting by.
No. 1626193
>>1626161Maybe some things that could help you is finding out why you are obsessed with a character meant for kids, because they are usually not sexual in the least, which makes me think you initially grew attached to them because of that, because you needed safe characters to be able to connect with them. Why would you need husbandos and can't relate to others sexually? At the end of the day, you say you are not interest but you used to give the kid characters real human characteristics, which makes me feel like you still long for human sex, it's not the genitals or the sexual acts that block you, but the rest of it. You can't connect to people and I don't know the reason. That's something for you to figure out. I am not judging you in the least, I have a husbando myself and I know why I have it, I know it's a cope sometimes and differently from what some might think, I know he isn't real. Being attached to something fictional isn't the cardinal sin people make it out to be, it's an issue when it affects your quality of life, which in your case you are saying it does affect you, so it's time to work on it and by your previous posts it seems like you are already making an effort. I would advise to be careful when posting here, some nonnies already decided they hate you and it won't do you too well to keep reading people shit talking and cussing at you, that will just fuel your guilt and possibly turn into self hatred. These type of feelings are like digging a hole for yourself, they are useless, you wasted energy on digging the hole and you'll waste even more energy getting out of the hole, only to back to square one. Keep doing what you were doing, but take your own time. Just box their merch, don't try selling it yet, some of them you'll want to keep, maybe other you'll be able to sell if you want later, you don't need to be harsh. Keep consuming different medias and try out new things too.
No. 1626203
File: 1688658131907.jpeg (79.7 KB, 700x763, IMG_2087.jpeg)
I just posted not even a week ago about how I was starting to feel suffocated by my bf’s family. I didn’t join his family visit this last weekend and it was fine and I told him Sunday how I was feeling and he apologized and held me so I thought it was going to be fine. Then last night this mf tells doesn’t ask about a trip to a whole ass nother country that his mom wants him to go with her also his parents are coming over to our house AGAIN this weekend and he’s just going to go along with it, and based off how he was talking I wasn’t going to be invited. I wasn’t even mad about him spending every other weekend with his parents as long as I didn’t have to always go but now I am pissed. He’s acting single and he’s about to fucking be, I’m ready to dump. I’m seething so hard I can’t look or talk to him. Get up off mommy’s teat bitch. Actually I don’t think there is a way he can save this.
No. 1626235
>>1626214I was once told the story by an older woman of how early in their marriage, her husband would try to get out of chores by claiming he didn't know how to clean, that she did it so much better.
So one day, she took him into the kitchen and painstakingly taught and demonstrated every single step of cleaning from top to bottom. Then, once everything was sparkling and he said he understood, she took the chocolate syrup out of the fridge and poured the entire bottle over the counters, stovetop, and floor. She then told him to start cleaning and that she would monitor to ensure that he was doing everything correctly. And she stood there as he cleaned everything to her standards. That way, he could never again slack or claim he didn't know how to do it.
No. 1626255
>>1626161Not sure if this is anything, but for me nothing turns me off as much as the
expectation to be sexual or to always be receptive to sexual advances, know what I mean?
Like nobody says it out loud but the attitude in general is very much "Obviously you want it because this is what you're supposed to do/this is what you are here for, your feelings either way are irrelevant because you are not a person you are just a means to an end, and if you don't like it there's something wrong with you, because again you are designed to want to be used." And to make it worse, your choices are give in and feel uncomfortable/like your motivations are being misinterpreted or written off, or deny yourself and still be made to feel wrong or disobedient or whatever. And god forbid you need a minute to even get in the mood, you should be ready at all times!!!
Anyway, innocent or nonsexual characters/media are removed from all that, so the repulsive pressure and expectation to play your role of being a sexual object are also gone, and that breathing room can sometimes be such a relief that it causes the pendulum to swing back hard in the other direction, and everything you repressed due to that repulsion just floods out. I would also compare it to becoming numb/detached/dissociating when in a bad situation, and then breaking down and crying once you're actually safe.
No. 1626274
File: 1688664726099.jpeg (39.11 KB, 275x275, A5E79806-4CE5-4CE0-B39D-366363…)
I keep seeing my ex out and about and it’s frustrating because I can’t tell if he has a new girlfriend or not. There’s not enough evidence for me to find out either way because he never posts shit online himself so I’ll never find it out that way and like I see candids from his coworkers and usually he’s only by other men but that’s still not fully indicative. It really could be either situation and the not knowing is driving me crazy. I fucking hate him he’s totally cut off all of our old friends in favor for his stupid coworkers and won’t fucking talk to me. He looks way more buff too and it pisses me off because I wonder if it’s for another girl. I just want him to move on already so I can feel terrible about myself already. I’ve been working out a shitton and look a lot better too but still. I hate him so much right now and just want him to talk to me again. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
No. 1626290
File: 1688666367230.jpg (147.38 KB, 1280x1021, 47.jpg)
I just realised that, in almost 30 years, only one person has ever bothered to get to know me or even cared about me. I can't believe how fucked up that is now that I think about it. Through 30 years no one, except one person, wanted to be friends. Jesus christ
No. 1626300
The whole of my family (mom, dad, sister and her husband and three kids) are traveling to Hawaii tomorrow. My mom has been planning this trip for a couple years. I have always had anxiety about it, for a lot of reasons, and decided not to go. My mom has a wicked online shopping problem and I know how in debt she already is, so having her pay for the whole trip feels really uncomfortable and like feeding the problem. She also always has stipulations about gifts - they're a love language and a weird expression of trauma for her. I've never been very materialistic so we get mildly sideways sometime about it. Family trips have also never been fun… We're all anxiety prone and it manifests as anger. One particular trip my senior year was really difficult. Admittedly, it was a lot of my own doing because I was being a miserable 17 year old fighting with her boyfriend back home the whole time, but it's not like anyone went out of their way to try and relate with me and bring me into the fold. And since then it's been held over my head and it has made me feel as though I ruined the whole trip. My mom and I have a pretty codependent relationship that I've only started recognizing through the process of this trip. My mom has tried to keep the guilt trips to a minimum, and has done better since I said I definitely wasn't going, but my sister has picked up that torch and shared it with her kids. They're not doing it super maliciously, but they all think I'm going to regret this choice. Maybe I will, I don't know. I've got SO much anxiety today about every facet of this and I don't feel as though I have anyone to talk to… So… Stupid anon post on stupid gossip site. On top of all that today I am overwhelmed by all the shit I've let my depression hold me back from. It's so much easier to sleep my life away… And I can't figure out how to flip the motivation switch. I've been wanting to go to the mountains, it's been so rainy and I know it's beautiful up there, but I slept my weekends away instead and now I'm sure all the mushrooms are gone.
Fuck.
No. 1626311
Stumbled on this and it made me angry:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_b9l1E5IsI&t=2s….Everyone's praising it like it's a love story, but this is an adult man taking advantage of a mentally challenged woman. This guy couldn't get a normal girl, he wanted someone he could keep like a pet. How is this even legal and why are people praising this crap??
(embed youtube videos) No. 1626330
>>1626298>I can't figure out how to flip the motivation switchMedication,
nonnie. You can go off it when everything is in place and you're doing OK, but medication really helps get the ball rolling.
No. 1626336
>>1626330Ew. This is such an American thing to say. No, medication does NOT help your mental state. It's a placebo, an illusion, and it makes you un-learn to function normally without chemical aid.
Mental health medication is supposed to be for serious cases. But the USA medical system realized that way they wouldn't make that much money.
And this capitalist crap is also spreading to Europe. Even mom starting to give pills to their sons to keep them quiet. It's disgusting.
No. 1626347
>>1626235KEK this so tempting to try, I will do this next time he moids out again. Thank you for the tip!
>>1626249I'm aware of it, and I almost wish it was this. It's not, he chimps out from time to time (I call it "reverting to the original moid programming" lol) and he always comes back after some thinking timeout, apologises and fixes it. I just wish I didnt always have to hawk over him. Cant even trust a man to pack a bag jfc.
No. 1626375
File: 1688670674069.jpg (69.56 KB, 736x553, 253dc3dd79446a512cd434aec187f0…)
Time to submit another application. Again.
No. 1626471
>>1626380"Only an American would think popping up pills is the solution"
"I'm literally from rural south america, medication helps"
….Well, you just done proved my point. It's no coincidence the whole "let's take estrogen pills and suddenly we become women" trend was also born in the USA. Ignorance is dangerous.
I'm also bitter because I've seen it slowly starting to spread here. No please, Americans can keep their dumb shit about magical hooga-booga drugs that totally change your life - for a price.
(>greentext instead of quoting and spacing between every line) No. 1626602
>>1626557samefag it pobably was that but it kina bugs me because when i was younger people assumed i would grow out of my ugliness and i guess treated me better because of that but i'm no longer underage and i could just be ugly in peace (more li invisible but still)
when i was even younger (likes 5 or 6) people thought i wasa star kid or something but then in 9th grade i was hit by a deep depression and people distanced from me. tbh i know it's justified that people don't want to have the emotional bagagge of a depressed person but i would be lying if i said i don't take it to heart and idk ever since then i haven't been the same. i have good friends but i feel like they would rather be with prettier and more interesting people (ik it's born from my insecurity) but it's like i wanna escape my body or do something that doesn't make me so aware of how i look but i don't know what to do because everytime i try to do something i know it's because i wanna escape and not because is something born out of passion and i should be doing the "real thing" like socializing more and becoming a part of a circle and have fun with people but at the same time i jusn don't thinks they're comfortable with me (i drifted from the main topic wayy too much sorry)
No. 1626631
I am a
terf and here’s my new blog.
I don’t want to bite Stephan’s balls or live with him and I’m afraid of what he might do for no reason or blood pressure
(No correlation to my lovely brother who might feel the same way)
Justmewondering56.tumblr.com
Howardtheduckcommunitycollege.tumblr.com
No. 1626704
>>1626042if you are too far for the cats to jump down, just know that they won't hurt themselves. i get it, i just got a cat even though i'm allergic and get super paranoid that i left the window/patio door open but then i realized the cat can't physically get out or kill birds/themselves.
what the other anon said will help your anixety, taking a picture of the closed door. you are just a wonderfully caring person and worried about your small kitties. there is nothing wrong with caring. just breathe and let the panicking feelings float over you. or scream terrible music while you run
No. 1626795
I wish I could stop thinking. I have major anxiety, I have been physically tense, I've been getting more paranoid. Having several days off for the holiday made me feel free again but now I'm a mess with this shit from having to go to work again. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I can't stop thinking about what they think or if I am acting right, even when walking I judge myself and tense up. I feel like someone is always watching me, even in my own yard which is crazy. Everyday I drive I get paranoid about my car breaking down or if someone is following me. I can't even relax at home with my boyfriend. I feel like I am not doing something right, I am not doing enough for the house, I am not thinking of him enough, which makes me cater my time to his activities and not my own. Constantly thinking about how much money I have, what I should buy to help in case something happens. I'm tired. I want to be completely alone. No cars driving by, no neighbors, nobody else near me.
No. 1627018
>>1626479Yeah, pal, pretty sure if I asked you about Italy you'd get confused too. At least I admitted my mistake and ignorance, like an adult person.
And yes, I'm new to this 4chan-like stuff, too. So? Got a problem?
…..Not many adult people here tho, ain't it.
No. 1627050
>>1626951the way dairy cows are treated is very fucked up. can't look at the cheese in my fridge without thinking about it. I usually eat cheese that's aged a couple years and I think about how the cow it's from is probably already dead since they kill them the first time they fail to produce enough milk from a round of pregnancy, 2-3 years for a lot of them. I'm really offended when I get some subpar plastic tasting pepperjack or something, like I can't believe they're making cows suffer for this shit.. or maybe it's better because it's partially made of oil or filler? I don't know.
I told my husband they repeatedly impregnate dairy cows with artificial insemination and he didn't believe me for some reason, I think he had a crisis of conscious because his parents raised him vegetarian and dairy is supposed to be ok so he was just like "there's no way they do that, that's not practical". I asked him why are the cows lactating then, they just do that all the time like chickens laying eggs? he seemed to think yeah kinda or they just inject them with hormones or something –boy, they inject them with semen.
No. 1627066
>>1627050my sister's husband has a dairy farm and no way in hell they just kill the cows after a few years, that's a waste of money, worst case scenario they sell so they can turn into steak (yes, that's still killing but each part of the cow is used for something. I'd argue it's way less polluting and wasteful than buying a ton of plastic crap online like most people do).
I've seen many cows die of old age. they still artificially inseminate some cows per year so they keep having more cows added each year since some cows stop producing every year. my BIL cant really get rid of some of the old cows so they just hang around the farm. I'm pretty sure most farms aren't like that though.
No. 1627070
>>1626122This broke my heart
nonnie shit like this hurts to read. It sounds like it's affecting you a lot too I feel so much for you.
Why can't you work?
No. 1627135
>>1627126>that's not how souvenir gifting works imoGood luck telling them that kek. They're entitled as fuck and treat me like their personal shopper. My big sister is asking me to bring her something that I'm not even sure exists just like she always does because she's a retard who doesn't know shit about fashion.
>>1627124I'm considering it but even if I have the money for that I don't want to spend money on something so trivial and worry about if the parcel will actually arrive. I'm in Japan and a friend of mine did that years ago and she had issues and had to send a fax to the company. A fucking fax. If it gets out of hands I'll look into it though.
No. 1627157
>>1627152is your whole family full of weebs? why do they all want stuff from Japan lol?
lie and say you couldn't find what they wanted, something about all physical retailers moving online because of covid, then tell them how to use amazon jp.
No. 1627385
File: 1688757533294.jpeg (51.89 KB, 367x612, IMG_6885.jpeg)
should be dead but I'm not dead yet
the world won't let me die
or make me happy
something decent happen, instead it's constant boredom, stress and anger
everybody knows I'm suffering and nothing puts me out of my misery, it's cute, now why won't you let me die
No. 1627397
File: 1688758011806.jpeg (54.3 KB, 1170x1170, ᑉ³.jpeg)
Went to a toy store today and realised that 90% of new barbie dolls are ugly as sin, and their faces are so wide for some reason? They also appear so… human-like (but in a bad way)? is it the consequences of insecure bitches in the past crying over how a doll made them hate their body? Their hair sucks too, it looks like the barbie would go bald if you brushed her hair thrice. Miss it when barbies used to have beautiful hairstyles and simple yet pretty dresses.
No. 1627449
>>1627443At what point is it really the dolls and not the parents being
toxic as fuck?
No. 1627450
>>1627397based and true, they look so awkward now
>>1627443The only people who complained were a bunch of adult women, not the actual demographic: kids. You obviously are too young, because back then you couldn't avoid the articles written by 30yo+ complaining about dolls
No. 1627553
File: 1688765799684.jpeg (84.19 KB, 750x991, b10c1cc9-bbda-49aa-9f86-4d6dbf…)
>>1627397Damn. I was just talking about ugly barbie dolls, even that led to an infight?
No. 1627563
File: 1688766423446.jpeg (40.82 KB, 500x485, IMG_1990.jpeg)
>trying to get better from traumatic events last year and the year before
>finally decide to start taking therapy more seriously after long period of deluded lunacy
>therapist has unusual blood panel and is hospitalized
>find out therapist has rare but curable cancer that is extremely uncommon with her age group
>my older aunt had the same type of cancer
>only add this to pile of life stressors
>therapist says she's retiring after this is over but will conduct sessions with me until she's in remission
>told her she doesn't have to and that she can leave anytime she wants
>scream internally because I have to find a new therapist eventually and I love this lady
her and my aunt getting the same type of cancer within like 2 years of another feels like someone cursed me. I feel the most bad for my therapist because she has a young daughter. I've known her long enough that I can remember when her little girl wasn't born yet. I remember when she was pregnant and how overjoyed she was. It breaks my heart.
I'm really about five steps away from wasting half my bank account to buy a ticket to los angeles so I can go kill myself there. don't want to burden anyone with my life anymore. Feels like I'm cursed and my existence spreads misfortune. The poor people around me shouldn't have to deal with that any longer. If I had the money and strength I would've gone full witness protection and disappeared by now, it's not a fucking option. Sorry to anyone who's ever known me if I decide to go out. I wanted to live a full life. But all my mental issues and personal troubles and trauma just make life unbearable no matter what I do and no matter how hard I try. A few years ago I could see a future for myself, I claimed that last week, now I can't again. Fuck this hell world
No. 1627612
>>1627563I’m so sorry
nonnie.
No. 1627641
>>1627612It could be worse, the other type of cancer she could've gotten had a life expectancy of 3-4 years, little chance of recovery, at least she has the recoverable kind
But I'm still heartbroken and I keep having weird things happen in my life and cursed things happen to my friends and family that I somehow blame myself for. I'm a bit of a woo woo in a sense that I believe sometimes, the unexplainable can be real. There is someone out there who's been stalking and harassing me for ages and I heard they are demented and deep into occultist practices. The last thing I want to believe magic is real, but some awful tragedy has been happening lately every time I try and better my life. It's like I'm cursed
While cyclical manic depressive bouts have always been a thing, I feel physically weaker than I ever did and now it's like everyone around me is cursed. Losing jobs, cancer, asking me incredibly weird favors that make me want to end friendships, being mean, irrational. every time I go outside to do something or hangout with someone I fear it'll be more bad news. it wasn't like this before. My chest aches like I'm on the verge of a heart attack, I cannot afford to go to a doctor, and this is way worse than just "lel mental illness". It's like someone has a voodoo replica of me and they keep stabbing it. I have very bad psychomotor problems, I struggle with mundanities or ambition more than ever because of the affects of this sensation on my body.
This is retarded but I've looked into witchy activities, particularly sigils and others as a form of catharsis, but also secretly I want to believe I can curse my enemy back. It hasn't worked yet. I don't know what to do. If I don't decide to go out the hard way I may just drop dead from exhaustion.
No. 1627762
I feel really bad for my brother’s girlfriend, she’s dealing with him as the manchild he is that has always been prioritized at home.
And so prioritized that no one in this house suggests something to eat unless he’s okay with it, or that you can’t say that you want to go somewhere or do something unless he’s okay with it because his schedule is always tightly packed with stuff.
I get he’s a grown ass adult with his own life, but dating someone means to at least be flexible and say “hey, maybe I shouldn’t sign up for this tournament this trimester and go camping with my gf because she loves camping! Even though I don’t like it!” Or “hey, do you want to choose the menú for this week??”, or, I don’t know, something as basic as watching a movie or series with her that’s of her liking.
Like, the whole family has to always make sure he’s happy, he throws a mantrum and stops talking if he’s not getting catered to, his girlfriend just wants to do other things that are always good for him, like eating healthier, going hiking, visiting other places. And he always tries to find a justification or an excuse to make sure that’s not possible, or stays silent or complains while trying to please her.
I don’t know, I actually spoke to her a few weeks after meeting her and told her that my brother is like that, and that it was a mistake that my parents made because they always tried to make sure he was as happy as possible since he’s so serious. So I guess I can say that I told her so.
Right now she’s been crying because of my brother’s stubbornness, she has a lot going on and I’m sure that my brother wanting to watch a dumbass boring series about the sport he likes broke the camel’s back.
It’s just frustrating because I can’t believe that we got raised in the same house and he’s so inconsiderate of everyone and everything. Well, I believe it tbh, I’m a woman after all, I’ve been raised to make sure everyone is happy.
And that’s something else that bothers me a lot, I complain about this all of the time, but my family has been showing their true colors regarding how they see me.
Like they want me and my brother’s girlfriend to basically kiss his feet and make sure he’s happy 24/7, to tend the house and never let him move a single finger, they’ve unironically told me that that’s what the housewives are supposed to do and that women just have to do that.
Next time I inevitably complain to them, I will ask if they want me to just drop everything, get a husband and become a housewife, because I can’t even begin to imagine having to live with a man like my brother.
Because I tell my parents that couples should cook together, because that’s probably the best moment to talk and learn more about each other, help each other, if he doesn’t know how to cook, he can do the dishes and such. But to them that’s illogical because in my brother’s case, he’s too twiwed uwu from work, but he’s not too tired when his friends ask him to play with them some sport until 10 pm, that’s not tiring at all, isn’t it?
Gosh, I wouldn’t even consider someone like my brother as a date, he’s such a moid, I’m glad I got to meet his girlfriend because she’s really cool and smart, but I feel so sorry for her falling in love with this fucking asshat.
No. 1627771
File: 1688785218060.jpg (122.5 KB, 600x400, Pokemon hoarder _730ef579d8de6…)
Collecting isn't fun anymore.
I wish I didn't start collecting shit because now it's a burden on me and makes me more depressed about my organized mess but it's also hard to get rid of the things I have since it's all recent interest and I'd be losing more than what I spent on it. My collecting all started when I got depressed and it felt more like buying stuff to fill the hole and now that I've grown from what happened to me I'm stuck with boxes full of shit and hoarder level collecting that seems too hard to get rid of because of my ocd even if I just see this shit as useless items now.
What sucks is that most of the things will be on my mind constantly until I order it and it comes then it just feels like " oh, it's here. What now?" And I hate that with collecting it has to stay in boxes, why am I collecting shit and keeping it perfect for the next person to have when I die?
No. 1627773
File: 1688785424395.jpeg (323.66 KB, 972x1705, IMG_0458.jpeg)
Whenever I see a photo of a woman holding a baby my cramps get worse
No. 1627777
File: 1688785881071.jpeg (36.45 KB, 296x320, IMG_3441.jpeg)
Went out tonight and an acquaintance of mine asked me (and my partner) to join him on the dancefloor. I said no so he grabbed a fistful of my dress at lower abdo / crotch level and started pulling it while walking backwards, accidentally poking me in the vagina as he grabbed. I got triggered by him touching me and started yelling “no, stop it, let go of me” and he ignored me and kept going. I had to walk with him so my dress wouldn’t rip off me, and I was yelling and booting him in the knees the whole way to try to get him to stop. It was so humiliating. My dress is all stretched out in the front now cos he pulled so hard.
I’m so mad that the fight part of my fight-or-flight finally kicked in (I usually freeze) and… nothing happened. Men can do whatever they want, in a room full of people, to a woman screaming for them to stop. Dope.
This happened hours ago and I’m still really wound up. I don’t know if I’m overreacting because I have PTSD but I still feel panicky and gross. Small and vulnerable and dirty and ashamed.
No. 1627853
File: 1688790890352.gif (1.15 MB, 540x304, 97abdacaa8f0fc9d2d0963dabad66e…)
a family member - who's inheriting a lot of money - suggested she'd pay if I took some classes and I felt ill at the offer to help me. Like existential dread, but worse. I've been through some really fucked up things, but for some reason what I get constant nightmares about is college. It's sooo stupid.
I tried to go for about 3 years and I got a full ride scholarship so thankfully debt isn't an issue. Still, I was one of those idiots that had no idea what to do so I ended up falling back on something that would have at least had some kind of utility, but even then I ended up flipflopping while suffering from crisis after crisis, and the onset of my physical disease that left me feeling like hell all the time. Been years yet only now am I starting to get treatment and I have no idea when I'll feel alive again.
I like what I'm doing for money now and I would be open to learning some kind of skill but I'm very afraid of how certain things just get to me. That I reacted to someone offering me such a kindness - well, secretly, I politely turned them down - with such dread is genuinely insane. I used to not want to do certain things yet it didn't feel like life or death before. I really hope there is a way to turn this around.
No. 1627887
>>1627885I know that I have been painted as the bad guy in others people's eyes. However, that won't ever stop me from growing into the person I want to be.
Public perception will not turn me away from self-actualization. I will not be persecuted into thinking that I'm actually a bad person. Because I never was.
No. 1627892
I did a barium enema on a middle aged man, which I thought would be a breeze since it's usually an exam we do on more difficult geriatric patients. People - especially men - generally aren't thrilled to have to do the exam in the first place but this dude wouldn't even make eye contact and he looked like he was marching to his death. I noticed him silently crying and trembling on the exam table before we even started. I mistook it for nervousness but when I asked he whispered that he was having another episode of excrutiating rectal pain, which was why he was having the exam in the first place. I asked him if it he wanted to proceed to which he answered yes. He began sobbing and crying out in pain when I inserted the enema tip. He was squeezing the sponge pillow so hard I thought it wouldn't be able to fluff back up again. When I inflated the balloon to keep the enema tip in place he began wailing. I thought that would be the worst of it but when I unclamped the line to start the barium flow he cried out in absolute agony and began shaking so hard it almost looked like he was having a seizure. It was a cry that I have never heard before, just absolutely heart wrenching. At that point he begged us to stop, which we immediately did. I helped him off the table and into the bathroom and only then did I notice a huge pool of barium, blood, and fecal matter on the table and floor. I ran to the bathroom concerned that he might pass out with the door locked but - aside from the sobbing - he seemed physically okay. I told him I'd show him the way out of the building and then left for a couple of minutes so he could change back into his street clothes. When I went back to check on him he was gone. He seemed so scared and ashamed. I wish I could've said or done something to help him. Thinking back on it, I'm fairly certain he may have been sexually assaulted at some point… which probably exacerbated his discomfort, and since he was already in 9/10 pain before we even got started I think we may have accidentally pushed him over the edge. I feel so, so, terrible and I just really hope he's alright.
No. 1627925
File: 1688800239373.jpeg (208.79 KB, 749x759, C7FA8113-F944-4D3F-9C6A-44C6EB…)
I found a lost dog who ran into my house from the street and so I went outside to call out to some of the neighbors who were hanging around outside, asking if they knew anything about the dog or could please pass on that the dog was at my address if they saw someone asking, and they all— two separate groups of grown adult people!— stared at me and then turned around and ignored me completely even as I continued speaking. Fucking weirdos, like what the fuck. Seriously what the fuck. Seeing that average people are so incredibly cold and judgmental really makes me uncontrollably despise humanity. I don’t want to hate people, but when they act like that, it’s basically inevitable to come to hate humans. It seems like the only thing people do these days is demonstrate their appalling behavior to me. People I trusted, people I liked, and also total strangers. I don’t respect anyone in my life except for my mom. The fact that everyone accepts such shit behavior as normal and continues to perpetrate it is enough for me to give up on going out of my way to get to know anyone.
I take good-hearted social risks— calling out to people I’ve not spoken to before to try to help a lost dog, trusting a ‘friend’ and putting my career on the line for her, trying my best to keep multiple employees happy in a difficult situation out of genuine care— and am shot down, heartlessly used & discarded, and thrown under the bus for my efforts. I am done trying to believe in people. There is very little good in the world.
Picrel, the dog, I guess. And I found her owner eventually.
No. 1627949
>>1627942Yeah she was scared due to thunder and was so small she just popped right out from under her fence apparently kek. While I was trying to clean the poop (which was in 3 different rooms from her terrified sprinting) the power went out and I had to scrub the carpet and floors by fucking flashlight…
>>1627945It’s like country-suburb, but it’s a newish neighborhood that I’ve lived in since it was built so it’s not like they’re outsider-rejecting me or some shit. Idek it was honestly unsettling. I give up with people.
No. 1628298
File: 1688839411846.png (15.21 KB, 191x168, 1687998819412374.png)
I hate living in a small southern town so much, I've been here my whole life and its so isolating and boring, I'm so jealous of people born in cities up north
No. 1628306
File: 1688840511438.jpg (30.83 KB, 512x384, 1595048406914.jpg)
I miss being my autistic self. I've lost years of my twenties trying to be someone I'm not. First by fucking around with gender identity shit because I felt weird for being a masculine straight woman with mega virgin interests, then by trying to be a sexy confident normie when that's not who I am at all. I'm late twenties and I just came out of this phase where I convinced myself that buying revealing clothing and wearing lots of make up would make other people like me. They didn't and not once did I feel like myself. I abandoned all of my goals and tried miserably to get a boyfriend and started panicking because I'm late twenties and I felt like I needed to get married and have kids soon. I'd be miserable as a mother and wife, I was just jealous of people around me who seemed like they had everything figured out, and I thought if I tried to be like them I'd be happy. I stopped playing video games, stopped drawing, stopped collecting things I love, changed my appearance, changed my home, now I feel so empty. I'm gonna start doing what I love again but it's so hard. If this world doesn't want me the way I am I don't care anymore.
No. 1628315
File: 1688841273713.png (518.61 KB, 507x672, 1637434369205.png)
I'm done trying. I'm done with drawing, I'm done with everything. I feel like my negativity is gonna affect and drive away anyone I love. I'm such a mess, I never asked for this. I never asked for this.
No. 1628316
File: 1688841527755.jpg (28.09 KB, 735x723, d6dc9907365a741c28458ace7511e2…)
I just feel like I'm wasting my youth.
No. 1628325
File: 1688842546902.png (2.21 MB, 1080x1394, 05F0CB0C-2634-47D7-AEFF-385AE3…)
very funny how my friend has been my biggest hater for years, calling me names, poking at my insecurities, shittalking me and getting her family to join in, etc. and now that i’m slightly less of a doormat, i try to match a fraction of her energy by making very tame and lighthearted jokes at her expense, she flips the fuck out at me in front of our other friends. if i called her out every time she pissed me off or hurt my feelings, she would think i’m a sensitive little bitch kek. i don’t know, maybe i do come off a little mean sometimes because it’s getting harder and harder to hide my resentment for her.
No. 1628332
>>1628314A man who even knows what a
terf is, is a red fag imo. Big sign he's terminally online.
No. 1628350
it's weird how when you aren't working fulltime in a ~rEal CaReEr~ other adults say they're soo jealous of all the time you have, belittle your feelings of boredom, uselessness, etc., complain about working, then in the same breath openly look down on you, make sure you've got nothing to stand on since you ~dOn't WoRk~ (like it's my choice? i'm finishing up school and already looking for real entry level jobs in the meantime)… i hate how it feels like my whole life i always got along better with older people, wanted responsibilities and a career i can work hard in… and no one has ever taken me seriously. i've got too many people in my life that fetishize youth, being irresponsible, being lazy. i swear so many people only want kids to live vicariously through them, only to basically despise them as they actually reach adult years and want to grow up. people would rather them become addicts of some kind so they get to baby them still. it feels like working in a career is being gatekept from me or something? like people don't want me to be a responsible, independent adult and just want me to be a burden forever so they have something to complain about (me). idfk
No. 1628351
>>1628325my "best friend" throughout middle and high school was like this and i didn't realize it until after i graduated and the damage was already done. i pray you get as far from her as possible nona. mine fucked me up so badly that i don't think i can connect to or even trust people outside of my family any more.
only solace on this matter is that she's fat and busted with an ugly boyfriend and like three kids kek
No. 1628400
>>1628351so sorry you had to deal with this too, it really does fuck you up. i also struggle to trust or connect with people. it will take me a long time to stop believing the shit she says about me and to stop feeling like everyone secretly hates me. it helps to remember people like that only act the way they do because they’re ugly and miserable and hate their own lives lol. the problem is with them, not us.
>>1628357you’re right
nonny. i’ve tolerated this bullshit for years because i must have felt like i deserved it on some level, but i really fucking don’t. i guess it’ll work out in the long run because it’s given me the push i need to get over my crippling shyness and put myself out there more.
No. 1628488
Is it bad I hate people who display they're rich/want to have rich people things?
I have this classmate who regularly talks about how he has been to a rooftop for his vacation, how he bought expensive meat in this or that restaurant, how he has a rolex, how he will get an amg when he has a car, how he COULDN'T LIVE without his full apple ecosystem, showing his expensive shoes, how he'll get a yacht when he's done studying, yadda yadda yadda
I don't know why, but I find this so unclassy and insufferable..? Like, it's fine if you want and like nice things, but why are you always talking about this shit constantly? Especially when the other things you talk about are anime and fortnite.. Like, you only care about material riches and are fine with being a vulgar know nothing otherwise?
No. 1628519
>>1628488no i agree. i don't understand the concept of buying items solely due to what brand they are when the quality is awful. let alone why someone would go on and on and on about it. it's fascinating that they don't know how pathetic they come off.
ppl say that 'real' rich ppl don't flaunt their wealth like your classmate does, but i don't believe that's the case kek. i mean i know that some rich people buy items from brands without labels that cost a shit ton of money and are supposed to be of high quality, but so do non-rich people. so i think some people (again, like your classmate) are extremely insecure, want to signal that they are a part of a group (rich ppl) and make others pay attention to them.
No. 1628572
>Nona A- You know, I hate Banana's and Banana's are really gross, but in the context of what happened to this Banana, it's pretty fucked up.
>Nona B- I don't care, Banana's are really gross, you can't expect a banana to be treated well when the banana is gross
>Nona A- I KNOW that banana is gross and i hate Banana's too, but in this spefic context of what happened, It's fucked up and I can see why Banana behaved that way
>Nona B- Are you a banana slut? Banana's are really gross, you can't expect a banana to be treated well when the banana is gross
This is how I feel talking to some nonas, you don't listen, you don't care, you just repeat the same shit, because you are so fucking enraged or stuck on a specific opinion that you cannot listen, why not just end the conversation then? Why continue. Unpopular opinion but some of you Nonas are bananas. You don't even attempt to listen to anything anyone is saying, you made your mind up and repeat the same thing over and over.
No. 1628678
>>1628672Anon, as someone who has frequent panic attacks I cannot sit still while having one or about to have one. I flail about and have all this energy, my partner tried to hug me once while I was having one and I couldn’t be in his arms at all.
It sounds stupid but if you just absolutely flail the fuck out, like jump wave your arms and everything let that energy and restlessness out. I tend to calm down after my body releases what it had to release.
I really feel for you nona, this isn’t forever and it will pass. Sending you love
No. 1628685
File: 1688869926325.jpg (45.54 KB, 744x736, 1685737032239.jpg)
why has my stomach decided to implode right now. i didnt eat anything that could have possibly triggered it. i took a shit a few hours ago. WHAT HAPPENED
No. 1628934
File: 1688892421192.png (208.41 KB, 589x375, A774C095-3B64-4DE5-98AB-B5424C…)
CP SPAM HAPPENING
No. 1628976
I knew this shitty narcissistic two faced person for almost 2 years. Then she got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (the only symptom she had were migraines and they gave her a MRI scan. After she started taking her medicine she has literally no symptoms at all). And after diagnosis she's still the same shitty person, if not worse. And yet sometimes I feel like I'm the bad one for having bad thoughts about her because "she's sick". Like that would erase the fact she's a shitty person. I think I have the right to think what I think and yet I feel guilty and I feel like I would be judged for it, if I ever told anyone what I actually think of her, even though nobody knows her as well as me, besides her nigel. She doesn't have any friends and she once mentioned even during the school years she didn't have any friendships, besides sueprficial ones with people who wanted to party. I mean, maybe it never occured to her that she might be the problem, especially the way she treats other people? I know MS is a terrible illness but that doesn't change the was she was and still is a shitty person and I can't overlook this just because she's sick. My mother was always a terrible, abusive person, then she got cancer, and she was still a terrible person. Bad things happen to bad people too. And still, sometimes I feel like I'm the bad person
No. 1628990
>>1628953for your sake nonna, stop watching porn entirely
Not only does it melt your brain, but its ALL male oriented, even when men aren't in frame. Its made for males and by males 99.9% of the time. Good luck
nonnie i hope u feel better soon
No. 1629003
File: 1688900182726.jpg (16.63 KB, 460x428, a6E6A18_460s.jpg)
I just found out I have flat feet and that's probably the reason for constant pain in my legs while walking. I also have problems with my right hip joint and my knees, and it can also be caused by flat feet. I'm devastated, exercises can't change a lot when you're an adult. When I think that walking will be this painful for the rest of my life I want to off myself
No. 1629058
File: 1688906961607.jpg (46.24 KB, 736x569, IMG-20230612-WA0011.jpg)
I wish i had friends
No. 1629115
File: 1688914522628.jpeg (134.96 KB, 1045x546, IMG_1132.jpeg)
>>1619908If your bf sent you this after you tried to talk to him when you were upset, how would you respond? The ‘scheduled thing’ in question is Pathfinder btw.
No. 1629155
>>1629115 >its the one scheduled thing I have every weekOh he was at an appointment.. give him a brea..
> vidya gameoh.
Nonnie gtfo. This isn't going anywhere
No. 1629226
File: 1688924679210.jpg (64.88 KB, 1200x675, stickfigureviolence.jpg)
This is literally me right now when I'm PMSing. Why do I act like such an irritable unpleasant person that is so out of character of me holy shit MAKE IT STOP
No. 1629246
File: 1688926025350.jpg (34.71 KB, 297x310, tumblr_php566Wjyh1v55sj1_400.j…)
can't figure out javascript and at this point I'm anxious as shit.
So far all of the exercises I tried basically go:
>exercise 1: create a variable
>exercise 2: create an array that will do x and accept y as parameter while also creating a loop that stops once y is reached
I mean I'm sorry what? There seems to be 0 in-between, it's either basic stuff or a word salad.
I'm also scared to ask our mentor for help because I can't tell what exactly I don't understand about it. I read what I have to do but have no idea where to start. The fact that our classes aren't in english and we use translation makes it even more difficult.
I'm embarrassed to be so far behind everyone else.
No. 1629265
>>1629246Why aren't your classes in English? I'd figure most of the tutorials and courses would be in English. There are plenty of those online btw. Just Google "what is an array" or "basic loops in JavaScript" or something like that until you learn everything you need for that exercise.
There's a free course in freeCodeCamp for Javascript that you could take to learn this stuff from the very beginning step by step.
No. 1629280
>>1629265Because my native language isn't English so it's translated… for whatever retarded reason.
Thanks anon, that's kind of what I'm planning to do because idk what else is there. I know I can do it but fuck me it's a lot
No. 1629308
File: 1688930215155.jpeg (298.27 KB, 1024x721, EBB3E8EA-12E7-49BE-81BF-ABEBC0…)
Having one of my moments of panic where I feel the walls closing in because I’m wasting my life, not writing that story not making art not doing anything meaningful what the fuck am I doing. Hahahahhahahahahahba
No. 1629316
File: 1688931174971.jpg (515.72 KB, 2046x1967, 1685847563464.jpg)
>>1629308Then stop thinking and start doing
No. 1629343
File: 1688934676562.jpeg (245.64 KB, 462x459, IMG_0993.jpeg)
Having one of those nights out where the clubs are too crowded, my clothes are too tight, my friends are way drunker than me but no matter what I do I can’t catch up, all the songs are crazy repetitive, and I just want to massacre every single person in the vicinity. If I make it home tonight without getting my head caved in it’ll be a fucking miracle.
No. 1629521
File: 1688943478657.jpeg (69.87 KB, 736x736, FyXSzBMaEAAto5o.jpeg)
your whole life you're told men have high sex drives and just want sex. oh that's gross, i don't want sex. wait, i'm an adult now and think i would like to have a sex life! i like men and with their sex drives surely an attractive one will want to have sex with me. oh, what a nice boyfriend who i am sexually attracted to. wait- stop right there retard! you fell in love with the only guy with like zero sex drive. hahaha, sucks to suck right? enjoy!
No. 1629631
>>1629614wait i'm
>>1629521 and same. 4 years, he has the biggest monitor (literally a flat screen tv), volume turned up so high, i can walk by quietly at any time to see what he's doing. and i can always hear what he's listening to. he never uses his phone, his parents get mad he never responds to them. so i don't think it's porn either. you guys make me super paranoid at times but he's always said he hates porn. now i'm worried he's been hiding it from me for 4 years.
No. 1629689
>>1629679she goes to therapy but she just lies to them in order to convince herself I think? instagram also convinced her she has adhd, so now she's on fucking adderall which has made everything so much worse. she told me the only reason she wanted to take adderall is so she could lose weight to make people "worry". she has a good soul and talent for the job she works, her life could be amazing but every day she's on a rampage tearing down her life in real time - as I write this she's posted publicly to her story that she's going to "get revenge on everyone who made her a
victim". her self awareness is also kind of a curse, she knows she does all of these things but because she can identify it she thinks its not an issue. sorry for the long reply.