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Anonymous 09/08/15 (Tue) 12:09:54 PM No. 161127

Should I tell my bf I cheated on him? ;__;

We had a 2 year relationship. Now since August I moved to this town because of college. He's very sad already because he's pretty lonely.

Now my roomate, who is a guy came back yesterday night and was crying because his gf left him. Well I wanted to comfort him and we talked a lot and very deep on his bed. And well,

The hug went to a kiss, the kiss leaded to more intense kissing and so on..

Now is the next morning and I feel horrible. I think I should tell my boyfriend indeed. But the thing is he was already fucked over in a former relationship and always afraid of cheating. And I never wanted to hurt him so bad. I don't know what to do. I really didn't plan this and didn't really want it too. I just feel so dirty and terrible I don't know what to do.

Anonymous 09/08/15 (Tue) 12:29:01 PM No. 161128

Just tell him. You've seen the movies/dramas, shit will always find its way to him eventually and if you don't tell him now, you'll probably regret it. You know it's the right thing to do. Be truthful and hopefully you guys will be able to work through this! Keep building your relationship on trust.

(then again I can't hold a relationship to save my life so i'm pretty much talking out of my ass right now)

Anonymous 09/08/15 (Tue) 12:40:34 PM No. 161129

Just tell him anon, no point hiding it because he'll find out because people always talk and people always do. Plus you'll feel better.

It wasn't right what you did and you're aware of that which is good. But if your boyfriend needs time or doesn't want to continue the relationship with you OP you need to respect that. I say this to both guys and girls, when someone cheats they need to be told basically "its your own fault at the end of the day" because it is. BUT this doesn't mean things can't be sorted out, if he comes round, just talk about what needs to be patch up and just keep working at it. Like other anon said, you need to keep building up that trust and talk, talking is the key and being honest. You'll be alright though, worse things can happen.

Anonymous 09/08/15 (Tue) 12:47:07 PM No. 161130

>>161127
You literally had sex or was it just a kiss?

Please tell him, your relationship is doomed if you think its OK to cheat anyway.

Anonymous 09/08/15 (Tue) 01:22:03 PM No. 161131

>>161130
It was the later one. We did everything. I'm so terrible.

And for the other advices: how should I tell him? What would be the least hurtful way possible?

Anonymous 09/08/15 (Tue) 01:26:04 PM No. 161132

>>161131
>It was the later one

Sorry that's not true, my brain is total shit right now. I meant the first one. We did more than just kiss.

Anonymous 09/08/15 (Tue) 02:02:13 PM No. 161133

It may be hard but you have to tell him,it's worse if he discovers by himself. He'll get mad of course, but again, I'd be worse if you don't tell him and he discovers it. Good luck anon

Anonymous 09/08/15 (Tue) 02:02:36 PM No. 161134

It'd *

Anonymous 09/08/15 (Tue) 02:25:24 PM No. 161135

Please tell him.
Someone I know found out about her bf cheating over a year later.
They tried to continue the relationship but the trust was gone since he not only cheated but also lied to her for so long.

You have a bigger chance of working things out if you are honest. After all he deserves the truth.

Maybe a long distance realtionship isn't the right thing for you anyway.

Anonymous 09/09/15 (Wed) 12:24:20 AM No. 161136

As someone who has been cheated on, I'm offering my opinion. Sorry if it's unpopular.

I hate cheating and always did. But when a previous boyfriend told me he cheated I forgave him because he told me and I thought that meant he wouldn't do it again. However, turned out he kept doing it even after and I found out and broke up with him. After this, I know I will never forgive a cheater again.

That said, don't tell him. If my ex had honestly meant he'd never do it again I'd rather not have even heard of it the first time. If you really know you will not cheat again I recommend not telling him. You said he's afraid of cheating and that would probably hurt him a lot.

That said, you need to evaluate why you did this. Maybe you should break up with him yourself. LDRs aren't for everyone.

But anyway, I recommend not telling him. If you choose to tell him tho, just be straight: "Listen, I'm sorry, I made a mistake and I cheated on you. I understand if you need to think about it and I respect whatever choice you make"

Anonymous 09/09/15 (Wed) 01:25:34 AM No. 161137

Unpopular opinion here, but like, I wouldn't tell him personally.

I've been in a 9 year relationship now, both since we were 15 years old.
I've never cheated on my boyfriend and I doubt I ever would because he fulfils everything for me emotionally, physically, socially, mentally, sexually, aesthetically etc. and literally every other man pales in comparison.
We are each other's best friends, we hang out almost every day, share the same hobbies, finish each others sentences and are moving in together next year once he completes his dissertation and graduates.

Sounds like a pretty strong relationship right? The kind of relationship that could end up lasting until death?

Now imagine, by some tragic, drunken, horrible, horrible mistake I slept with another guy and me confessing led to our breakup. It's all gone, forever, because of something completely retarded I did whilst out of my mind drunk and impaired.

Your relationship is only 2 years old granted, but compared to most Western relationships that's actually p. long.
Your could be me in like, 7 years.

What he doesn't know won't hurt him etc. etc., but it will continue to hurt you so lock it up, toss it away and forget it ever happened.

tbh I think that even if I did cheat my boyfriend would eventually forgive me, but he'd never, ever trust me completely again and every time I went out he would be up all night constantly worrying about where I was and what I was doing. I don't think I'd want that; would you? If you tell him even if he doesn't break up with you then he probably will eventually. The stress will be too much, not to mention the destruction it'll wreak on his security.

If you truly believe that you will never, ever, ever do this again, don't tell him, don't throw the relationship away over a dumb, drunken misjudgement you will never repeat.

If you believe there's ever the potential within you to cheat again, tell him, for his sake, and if he decides to breakup with you then fair game because I wouldn't stick around with somebody I'd be constantly worrying about cheating again.

Anonymous 09/09/15 (Wed) 01:52:06 AM No. 161138

>>161137
Sort of agree with this post. If you tell him your relationship will be ruined even if he "forgives" you.

But OP wasn't even drunk at all. Jesus christ, OP, was your roommate way hotter than your boyfriend at least? I can not imagine being stone cold sober and sitting on another guys dick if I cared about the relationship at all.

Anonymous 09/09/15 (Wed) 02:34:42 AM No. 161139

I cheated on my bf with my ex.
I didn't even feel bad, even though I loved my bf. but I loved him more like a partner, and I had a special bond with my ex (I loved him more in a passionate way) . BUT even though I didn't feel bad, subconsciously I became more SUSPICIOUS myself, and now that bf is an ex.

Anonymous 09/09/15 (Wed) 02:37:46 AM No. 161140

>>161139
Must add how I HATE cheaters.
It was almost like an out of this world feeling, segregated from the rest of my life (My ex is in the army overseas, so his relationship with me is kind of a 'life of it's own' since he isn't part of our daily life anymore.) Anyways, I still don't feel bad, I just feel more untrusting, since even me who hated cheating so much, did it when the circumstances allowed me to not feel bad.
I even deeply loved my former bf, so that didn't even stop me.

Anonymous 09/09/15 (Wed) 02:39:08 AM No. 161141

Triple post but, OP how would you feel if your bf cheated on you ?
Are you ever suspicious?

Anonymous 09/09/15 (Wed) 03:02:18 AM No. 161142

>>161138

Wait, she wasn't drunk?
I don't know how I got it it my head that OP was but if she was sober this changes a lot.

OP gurl, I ain't gonna lecture you on how you dun goofed but, you should break up with him for his sake tbh.
If he still wants to stay with you after you tell him why, well, good luck.

Anonymous 09/09/15 (Wed) 04:33:57 AM No. 161143

>>161127
>didn't really want it
Then why didn't you stop it? Fact is, you knowingly cheated on him and now you feel guilty, which you should. You're a piece of shit.
Tell him, and then break up. He doesn't deserve someone who pulls that sort of shit.

Anonymous 09/09/15 (Wed) 05:37:23 AM No. 161144

>cheating advice thread
Situation:
I've been chatting (smut) online with a guy for a while.
Recently, I got a bf.
First guy knew that our chats would lead to nothing but has become very needy when I said I was going to break it off with him. This made me feel bad, so I said I would continue chatting with him.
What do I do?

Anonymous 09/09/15 (Wed) 05:41:02 AM No. 161145

>>161144
Stop. He's not your boyfriend and you didn't make any vows. All you did was cyber or sext or trade nudes or whatever. It's his fault that he got attached to you when he knew nothing would come of it.
It's unfair to your actual boyfriend.

Anonymous 09/09/15 (Wed) 06:10:53 AM No. 161146

>>161145
That's what I thought, but I still feel like shit because I get the impression that he doesn't have any other social contact.

Anonymous 09/09/15 (Wed) 06:42:55 AM No. 161147

>>161143
I agree with this person. Except not about the telling him thing, because I myself am too much of a cowardly piece of shit two faced cunt to do that. I'm too selfish to be honest with him and let him go to find another girl who isn't hurtful and disgusting.

I'm not the OP, but I've done what you did. I don't know how to deal with it. I feel incredibly guilty. I will never do it again. (inb4 once a whore, always a whore.) I'm scared of my boyfriend finding out because I don't want him to experience that pain. I just want to lock it away and remember that I'm a disgusting individual who deserves no love and no peace, and to try to provide kindness, loyalty and love to my bf while I am still his girlfriend. I don't know what else to do. I haven't slept in weeks. I have considered killing myself many times because am so disgusted by my very existence (easy way out, I know.) I deserve every ounce of pain I get from my stupid fucking disgusting decision.

I will say this, anon: Always, the truth eventually comes out.

Anonymous 09/09/15 (Wed) 07:28:37 AM No. 161148

>>161147

maybe i'm just a whore but cheating is so not worth killing yourself over?? i've cheated on a bf before because i'm an asshole and i felt so guilty i told him pretty soon after. even if he breaks up with you after, who cares cos you cheated on him anyway. it's not fair to hide it from him and if it's making you suicidal, just tell him dude

Anonymous 09/09/15 (Wed) 11:07:08 AM No. 161149

>>161148

Nah it ain't worth killing yourself. I've never cheated on anyone, I don't agree with it. But lol it isn't worth suicide.

Anonymous 09/09/15 (Wed) 04:33:19 PM No. 161150

>>161135

Listen to this anon. If you tell him yourself and show remorse ASAP as opposed to him possibly finding out down the line (which is very likely one way or another), the relationship will have a much stronger chance of surviving this.

Your relationship will probably take a 3-6 month long hit while trust is built back up, but just think of it as a chore/task and that he'll get over it eventually. It's usually the cheater who calls it off in these cases because they just don't have the patience. And be ready for annoying displays of distrust and accusations months down the line (shit like asking to check your phone/email, etc). A lot of people don't have the patience for that, but if you survive, your relationship will be stronger than ever.

Anonymous 09/09/15 (Wed) 04:37:41 PM No. 161151

>>161150

One more thing, if you do tell him, make sure your delivery is tactful and sensitive. Sit him down in person and tell him when you have a lot of time for his inevitable followup questions, even if it has to wait until you guys see each other again.

Don't do what I did and let it build up for so long to the point where you have a break down and just belch out a confession over text at 8AM.

Anonymous 09/09/15 (Wed) 09:41:37 PM No. 161152

>>161137
9 year relationship..and you've never lived with him. Had me going at first anon but you don't have a strong relationship at all if 1. That is your mentality 2. You two have never even lived together.
This advice is so bad.

OP just tell your boyfriend. He will either break up with you or he won't. You need to take responsibility for your actions. You can't possibly lead a great relationship when you have a huge lie like that under your belt.

Anonymous 09/09/15 (Wed) 10:40:15 PM No. 161153

>>161152

When did I ever say that we'd never lived together?

You shouldn't just assume things Anon, because when you do you make an ass out of u and me :^)

(Also that being said there are plenty of people in strong relationships that never end up living together for financial/space reasons/they have children in their house they don't want to disrupt and you're very ignorant/young to believe otherwise).

Anonymous 09/10/15 (Thu) 12:17:20 AM No. 161154

>>161153
So, you guys have lived with each other? You took the time to reply and yet you didn't bother to properly defend yourself. Until then I'll keep on assuming.
And honestly anon, with your logic of not telling your SO in the event that YOU decide to cheat..well your relationship is already doomed.

Anonymous 09/10/15 (Thu) 01:40:45 AM No. 161155

>>161140
>Must add how I HATE cheaters.

Funny how that goes. I was in a pretty shitty relationship that was an ordeal to get out of. First time I was cheated on was like a stab in the chest. All trust was completely lost after that. We still had to make our living arrangements work so as time went on the cheating became less and less painful until it was finally at complete indifference.
A bit different from OP's situation since my ex was an ultra douche and these girls thought they were dating him. Emotional cheating is extra shit.

Now, despite having a proper relationship and doing things right on the surface, deep down I haven't been able to care about anyone like that again. I wouldn't be bothered if my current bf slept with someone else, aside from worrying about protection. To OP, it will absolutely destroy the trust you have if you tell him. Personally, for a one night stand with no romantic feelings involved, I wouldn't tell him. When people think of cheating I think more than the sex it's the emotions that make it a big deal. Even me now as an extreme giver of no fucks, while I wouldn't care if my bf slept with someone, I'd still be very upset if he was actually dating someone on the side. So figure out if you're just high on hormones or if you're not emotionally satisfied. If it's the latter then break up for his sake.

Anonymous 09/10/15 (Thu) 02:11:44 AM No. 161156

>>161154

Yes we have lived together until we enrolled at separate universities, and I don't need to defend myself petal, you're the one making a twat out of yourself by creating these imaginary scenarios relating to online stranger's lives in your little noggin'.

Why do you care so much about my relationship anyway? Maybe concentrate on making your own.
A good dick up your arse would help to dislodge that massive stick you've got wedged there :^)

Anonymous 09/10/15 (Thu) 02:26:50 AM No. 161157

>>161156
You honestly need to calm down. The only reason I replied in the first place was for the sake of OP. I only acknowledged you because you were the only one giving bad advice?

Anonymous 09/10/15 (Thu) 02:57:51 AM No. 161158

>>161157

>you're going to cheat!
>your relationship is doomed!
>if people don't live together after a long-term relationship your relationships is bad!

Yeah, I'm the one giving bad advice.
Come here sweety, if you can't find a big daddy to pull that rod out your butt I'll do it for you, I'll paint the alphabet on your cunny, lolcow special deal.

Anonymous 09/10/15 (Thu) 03:17:05 AM No. 161159

>>161158
You are quite defensive. Could it be that you're the one who is insecure and I clearly hit a nerve?

Anonymous 09/10/15 (Thu) 03:35:23 AM No. 161160

>>161159

Who's insecure, the one discussing her amazing 9 year relationship or the one that's trying to tear it down and repeats how it will never last?

You sound insecure as fuck Anon. I am starting to think your last partner cheated on you and that is why you are all up in here spreading that salt.

Anonymous 09/10/15 (Thu) 11:25:56 PM No. 161161

You should consider suicide.

Anonymous 09/11/15 (Fri) 11:12:03 AM No. 161162

File: 1441969923141.png (1.1 MB, 1280x696, Revy002.png)

>Should I tell my bf I cheated on him? ;__;
Absolute degeneracy. He's going to know your a whore.
>>161161
This.

Anonymous 09/11/15 (Fri) 11:13:01 AM No. 161163

>>161158
You sound like a fat wizard, and future catlady in training. ~ /cow/boys

Anonymous 09/11/15 (Fri) 06:54:00 PM No. 161164

I kissed a dude when drunk while I was seeing someone (ldr). I felt terrible after and told him and at first he was like "oh it was just a kiss I wouldn't have said anything if it was me" then he told me a month before while I was busy with finals and didn't have much time to talk that he cybered with some girl online and told me it was my fault why he cybered the chick (he was horny and I wasnt "attentive" to his needs). We were never officially bf/gf but exclusive btw. Even though I kissed that dude I was still super upset by this because in that time I was busy I really just wanted to talk to him all the time and say fuck school. This was also a guy who said he had been badly cheated on before so idk OP tell him if you need to but you might find out some upsetting things from him too.

Anonymous 09/11/15 (Fri) 11:01:55 PM No. 161165

>>161137
You don't 'accidentally' have sex with someone. That's not how sex works.

I have been in the exact situation you described, but I didn't cheat on my partner as I'm not a scummy piece of shit deep down.

>>161127
My partner recently moved away as well and I am pretty lonely because of it. I honestly don't know how you can sleep at night knowing how your partner is feeling and knowing you fucking cheated on him anyway.

You should tell him. You're a bad person and he deserves better than you.

Anonymous 09/12/15 (Sat) 12:08:48 AM No. 161166

>>161161
>>161162
>>161165
Clearly all virgins or have been cheated on.

Anon certainly is in the wrong but telling them to an hero is v edgy of all of you.
Anon, just be honest. Keeping it a secret is not option. He will find out most likely after some time. Let him know the truth and go from there.

Anonymous 09/12/15 (Sat) 09:13:48 PM No. 161167

>>161166
Only one of those even tells her to kill herself, reading isn't that difficult.

No idea why people are trying to make the OP feel better either. She's a cunt.

Anonymous 09/12/15 (Sat) 09:24:23 PM No. 161168

Imagine telling this to the tumblr feminists tho?

"good on u girl u go get that dick!"

"omg yh were girls so its fine bby"

"hes only a guy, who cares?"

kek

Anonymous 09/12/15 (Sat) 09:59:13 PM No. 161169

>>161165

>I have been in the exact situation you described, but I didn't cheat on my partner as I'm not a scummy piece of shit deep down

Confirmed for not actually reading my post otherwise you'd have known that I didn't cheat on my partner either.
Never have, never would.

Anonymous 09/12/15 (Sat) 10:31:14 PM No. 161170

>>161167
Uh, yeah reading is an important skill anon! Clearly if you fucking read you would see one of the other anons quoted suicide anon.

Anonymous 09/12/15 (Sat) 11:24:53 PM No. 161171

>>161170

>Anon certainly is in the wrong but telling them to an hero is v edgy of all of you

>all of you

It was 1 of them out of the 3 you quoted

Anonymous 09/12/15 (Sat) 11:26:45 PM No. 161172

>>161169
Sorry I never meant to imply you did, I was talking about anyone who would cheat on their partner in that situation.

Anonymous 09/13/15 (Sun) 04:20:49 AM No. 161173

Any update from OP?

Anonymous 09/13/15 (Sun) 09:13:32 AM No. 161174

>>161173
yeah, any update on this filthy whore?

Anonymous 09/13/15 (Sun) 09:27:38 AM No. 161175

>>161174
The projection in this thread is incredible.

Anonymous 09/14/15 (Mon) 03:52:00 PM No. 161176

>>161175

It's filled with perfect angels who've never made a mistake or hurt someone else in their lives. OP is obviously bothered by this seeing as how she's posting to an anon image board, and no one is doing her any favors by convincing her she's a whore and a cunt.

All that does is breed bad self-esteem. And you know what people with bad self-esteem do? Cheat on their partners.

Anonymous 09/14/15 (Mon) 03:58:38 PM No. 161177

>>161176

Thing is, women get away with cheating and men don't. OP knows she's in the wrong, OP has probably told the boyfriend by now. We told OP to go tell him. Everyone should leave it at that.

Anonymous 09/14/15 (Mon) 04:00:58 PM No. 161178

>>161177

> Thing is, women get away with cheating and men don't.

HAHA no. Our culture takes female infidelity way more seriously than male infidelity, which is almost expected.

Anonymous 09/14/15 (Mon) 04:10:57 PM No. 161179

>>161178
this

Anonymous 09/14/15 (Mon) 05:54:49 PM No. 161180

>>161178
>which is almost expected.

proofs

Anonymous 09/14/15 (Mon) 06:35:15 PM No. 161181

You should tell him because of the risk of stds

OP 09/15/15 (Tue) 08:24:18 PM No. 161182

>>161173
Yes and I told him obviously. Also I told my best and basically only friend and she hates me, too.

Oh and said roomate is basically ignoring me and treating me like shit, so welp I hope that satisfies most of you.

But I think I can make it through it. Somehow.

I just can say that even if you have a person you like or are really horny you should NEVER EVER do it. It destroys everything and everything just gets worse.

Anonymous 09/15/15 (Tue) 08:50:08 PM No. 161183

>>161182
She wasn't really your best friend if you told her that and she hates you. She obviously cares more about your bf than you, don't be shocked if she's fucking him after you two breakup.

Anonymous 09/15/15 (Tue) 09:26:08 PM No. 161184

>>161182
I'm sorry you're having a bad time, OP. You did the right thing telling him.
All this will end sooner or later, take it as a chance to learn a be a better person. Everyone makes mistakes. And I hope your bf has support as well.

Anonymous 09/16/15 (Wed) 02:32:06 PM No. 161185

I don't know how someone could make a conscious (not drunk) decision to do lewd stuff with another person when they KNOW they have a boyfriend/girlfriend

But hey maybe that's just me

Anonymous 09/17/15 (Thu) 02:27:48 AM No. 161186

>>161185
Oh, so when you're drunk it's okay?

Anonymous 09/17/15 (Thu) 06:55:33 AM No. 161187

>>161186
No, don't be stupid.

Anonymous 09/19/15 (Sat) 05:27:35 PM No. 161188

>>161127
Love these threads.
I sometimes get sad over never having a gf then threads like this always keep reminding me that women aren't capable of loyalty or love.

Anonymous 09/19/15 (Sat) 07:48:20 PM No. 161189

File: 1442692100397.jpg (126.32 KB, 400x400, Laughing elfman.jpg)

>>161188

Anonymous 09/19/15 (Sat) 07:58:15 PM No. 161190

>>161188
Think most women feel that way about men.
Let's be honest, most people are shit, gender regardless.

Anonymous 09/19/15 (Sat) 10:12:18 PM No. 161191

>>9029
If you're a male, I don't think you can really have a stance on the fact most humans feel this way about the opposite gender. Usually you fall inlove or whatever and the other one dissapoints, on both sides of the gender scale.
I'm not sure about the divorce rates, but most couples I know, the males have been the one to initiate the divorce. Probably varies in different countries because of culture and beliefs. In most relationships I think women would rather hang on than give up.
I think women are more likely to stay in abusive relationships for example because they are stubborn af, and women are more likely to feel 'unconditional love' or whatever. If I punched my bf he'd just say fuck no and leave.

I think it's just common sense that genders just don't trust each other. I don't trust most people in general. Women and men are shit in different ways.