/ot/ - off-topic

I tried it, I wouldn't recommend tbh. Always full of weirdos.

Well, it depends on what you're looking for I think. I had no success with online dating. All the guys that I would give it a go with just wanted to hook up. I didn't meet any that actually wanted to date and pursue a possible romance. Pretty easy to find someone just for fucking though.

I had success finding some decent looking and interesting guys when online dating but of the two I ended up actually "in a relationship" with, they didn't last. The best friendships etc I have made online were not on social networking or things like that, but rather forums and shit of mutual interest.

I have attempted to go back to online dating but…idk. The awkwardness of meeting a stranger at Starbucks for the first time, the fact that you have already talked about everything online and have nothing to say on your first date.

I get lonely, but I think I would rather be single than force it like that. I'll meet someone eventually and I'll know from the beginning if we mesh or not.

The guy I last went on an OKCupid date with was financially supporting his ex girlfriend and her son (not his) and I was just kind of like yeah…I'm done with this. Seems like a lot of people view online dating as a way to rebound or "get back out there" when they aren't quite ready and pretty much everyone had some kind of baggage.

I have some interesting stories though I guess.

OP don't

>>157284
As someone who has online dated exclusively…op you'd be better off single and hoarding cats.

Don't do it because you cannot control what the other person is doing. They can say they're exclusive with you, but you don't know how many people they're saying that to. If you're dating someone in person, it's a\bit harder for them to lie to you, especially if they're spending a lot of their time with you. IMO people who date online are more likely to lack the social skills required to interact with others irl.

Both of my serious adult relationships were with guys I met online.

The first one might now count. Both he and I met one of our friends through craigslist. She kept insisting that I seemed like this guy she knew, so she put us in the same msn chat once. We really hit it off through msn chat, not even knowing what the other looked like. After talking on msn for a few weeks, we met up as a group in real life. Then we dated for almost 4 years.

The second one, which is the relationship I'm currently in, has been going strong for 1.5 years, and we've been living together for a little over a year. We have had joint finances for maybe 10 months, moved to a different town together, and he even spends time with my parents when I'm working. And we met up irl after 2-3 days of talking after OKC. I honestly didn't even read his profile or look at his pictures, because I wasn't interested in dating men at the time.

It really isn't that bad. I also went through a long phase where I would meet men online (OKC and craigslist), go on one date, pay for everything, dominate the convo during dinner, then never answer their messages or texts. This was only with the creepers, though. Oh, and I did end up liking this one qt3.14 but he wouldn't make a move on me after almost 2 months of dates, so I gave up.

Online dating sites are really all about luck it seems. Even though I met my current bf of almost a year and going strong on OKC, I would still parrot the others here in saying: proceed with caution.

Honestly…I think it would be better to put photos of yourself on an average day rather than your super dolled up hot pics. Hot pics encourage creepers and sex fiends and may discourage perfectly compatible guys who feel intimidated. Remember, online dating, like irl dating, is vastly skewed into the female camp…so it doesn't really matter what you write in your profile. A lot of guys won't even read that before messaging you. But pay attention to the ones who do. In my case all I wrote was "I prefer video games over TV shows" as the ONLY mention of video games on it. 8/10 guys straight up went for "I love games too!! What's your favorites?" And I don't even like games a whole lot… just more than TV.

Sorry that this is so long. Idk I guess I got lucky. But if you keep your wits about you and are able to draw firm boundaries and know when to cut the losers loose, you shouldn't have too much of a bad time. If not a few awkward dates and such. Also always arrange first dates in public spaces and or let someone know where you'll be, as you should when meeting people off the internet.

Thanks for all the replies guys, I appreciate it.

I don't think it could be anything I could try right now. Something about trying to socialize with guys and go on dates seems really exhausting to me, i don't think i have the skin for it. I recently got off my NEET butt and started trying to get a job.. so maybe if I ever get to a better place, it could be something to consider..however i'm just not too keen on the idea..

Honestly I wish I could just get back together with my ex bf, he was mutual friends with all my friends, and i feel like we just "clicked" perfectly. However, I haven't seen or talked to him in years, and i have a feeling he wants nothing to do with me..But I guess thats for another thread.

>>157283
Well, it looks like you experienced the exact reason why I've been so scared to even try.

I mean my roommate found a nice girl after a few tries, but hes a lot more sociable than me…

I dunno… I think I'd rather keep playing video games until the right person comes along and be lonely up until that point.

i met my husband on OKCupid

it's weird to explain but also everyone is plugged into social media 24/7 so i don't understand why we still have the dating model of 1985

>>157288
>Honestly…I think it would be better to put photos of yourself on an average day rather than your super dolled up hot pics.
I like this advice

I'd be willing to give it a try but I think it'd be hard to find quality people for me. If you're having trouble finding a bf and you want one, you should give it a try. Beggars can't be choosers.

>>157290
If you would rather do that, then don't complain if do feel lonely.

And do you have a lot of dating experience already?

what do you do if a perfectly decent guy messages you, everything looks good, you'd get along, but you're just not sexually attracted to him?

>>157295
you drop him
duh?????
unless ure just looking for a friend

>>157296
men on dating websites get their jimmies all rustled when women don't find them irresistibly sexy and just wanna be "friends"

>>157297
tell him sorry but this isn't the right relationship for you or something and block him

How are you supposed to meet people if you do not use online dating?

>>157299

By meeting people through online friends which honestly is the best way then using a dating site. Like online friends you play games with or groups you just talk to. The online relationships I did have when I was younger was formed from thoses.

I've been single all my life and went on one date through OKC. The guy seemed nice and the date wasn't all that bad until we were at the movies and he kept trying to grope my legs. I feel as though he took advantage of the fact that I had little experience with what a first date should be like and looking back at it now the whole thing really creeps me out (needless to say, I did not date him again.)

As others have said, I'm more inclined now to stay single until I meet somebody than to wade through the hoards of creeps you meet online, but I guess I'm kinda biased considering that date fucked me up my impression of online dating quite a bit.

>>157301
*fucked up my impression

I think you should try local online dating instead of random websites where people might live on the other side of the world, so you have the chance to flesh it out into a real relationship more easily.

I am a bit jaded though. I dated someone online for about a year and a half when I was around 16. He said he was male and about my age. We talked all the time and felt it was "tru wuv" and all that shit.

He finally gave me a selfie after almost two years and he wound up being a 20something woman who was (sorry, this is superficial) haggard, actually obese, had barely any hair and destroyed skin. I noped the fuck out immediately. Thank god they didn't live in my country. But it still sucks I was lied to like that for so long.

I have met lots of friends I adore online during the following years, but even if I wasn't with my current partner I would never date online like that again. Not just because of deceit, but people can show or hide anything they want online and some of those things you don't know my appear in a really bad way later on.

>>157303
Damn OP, that sucks. I do feel sorry for the woman. I wonder what happened in her life that she felt she had to deceive you.

>local online dating
tfw you live in a town full of basic asshats…

I've been aggressively online dating (Tinder & Bumble) recently and have a few things to say about it.

First, ghosting really hurts. Please don't do that to someone. All you have to do is say "Sorry, I'm not interested because …. Bye". Wait for a day (so they get a chance to read it), then unmatch. I have scores of matches from Tinder where the conversation was going great, then they drop off the face of the Earth and I'm left with this awful, empty feeling inside. It really makes you start thinking everyone is a giant asshole.

Second, what does "No hookups" even mean? I decided it means no one-night-stands, and that makes a lot more sense. Because otherwise it's like you are trying to use a dating app to have non-sexual relationships with people, which is incredibly dumb.

Here's some profile pic tips so you don't look like a complete autist. No sunglasses. Why the fuck would want to see a picture of someone in sunglasses? Don't have someone else in your main profile pic. Pic related. That is very confusing and it makes you look like a awful bitch when you put your unattractive friend in the pic to make yourself look better by comparison. Do not use pictures with your back to the camera. God this shit is so obvious but I see it all the time.

WRITE A PROFILE! I saw someone up thread saying "I said I like video games more than tv, and all the boys kept asking me about video games" WELL NO SHIT! What do you expect them to say? That's all you gave them! It's very hard to initiate a conversation on these things, and you try to find a subject that is interesting to the person. The point of chatting is to get to know them better.. right?

Be engaging. There are a lot of chats where I just fucking bail out because the person is soooooo fucking boring and simply giving one word answers to EVERY question I ask. They ask me nothing about myself. What are they expecting to come from it? Can someone please tell me?

Tinder vs Bumble: Bumble's app is way, way better than Tinder and makes it easier to scroll pics and stuff. They also have their "hook" which is that women must message first after a match within 24 hours or the match disappears. This is pretty cool because it forces some dialogue. The quality of the women on their is better too. They are more professional and smart.

When I first signed up with Tinder I met an awesome woman and we had an outstanding fwb situation we termed "Fallout and chill" because I would come over and watch her play Fallout 4 until I started kissing on her neck and…. Then she found a guy she wanted to get serious with and ended it..

I'm exhausted with the process of putting a lot of energy into these conversations and having them be so dull.. Sending unsolicited dick pics is appalling, but I can see how some dudes might get so burned out on the process they just start spamming their dick to everyone, hoping for something. Which is something you should watch out for, btw. A lot of the women I've spoke to said that happens a lot. Good luck.

>>157305
>Be engaging. There are a lot of chats where I just fucking bail out because the person is soooooo fucking boring and simply giving one word answers to EVERY question I ask. They ask me nothing about myself. What are they expecting to come from it? Can someone please tell me?

Yeah, this is really irritating.

Like, do you just expect to sit back while I to entertain you? And if you're not interested, why can't you just say so and end both of our miseries?

>>157304
Thanks. Looking back at it now, it was pretty sick she felt the need to deceive me like that, especially considering I was a gullible 16 year old. I'm not traumatized anymore but fuck, right after I saw her picture I legitimately thought about never getting online again. I was so shocked my boyfriend of almost two years was… that.

Tbh she most likely thought it would be better for her to live in a fantasy world where she was some hot guy (she liked yaoi) and simply didn't expect to get so close with someone. Just sucks I had to get dragged into that emotionally. Although I guess we all have to learn not to trust people after something shitty happening.

I've tried online dating sites/ apps but for some reason the people I meet on there never really held my interest. I didn't want hook ups at all, I wanted to find someone I could see becoming somewhat series. But no one ever interested me.

That said, I am currently someone I did meet online, but through a MMO. It felt a lot less forced and much more natural. Well, as natural as meeting online can get. We had been friends for a few years and when a friends with benefits "relationship" of mine ended we got more serious. We've been together for almost 6 months and we're actually meeting for the first time this week.

Different strokes for different folks I guess.

I met my fiance on Plenty of Fish, one of the jankiest dating sites out there. My best friend also met her husband on there. Results not typical, but it's always worth a shot.

>>157309
I met a successful, completely normal guy on Craigslist who I dated for a while and am still friends with. That's an even jankier place than PoF.

>>157309
Do you live in a relatively well-off area? Besides luck I'm thinking that's a major factor in why some people are more successful with online dating than others. I'm in a metropolitan area with a lot of universities/companies so the pool of "decent" single guys is larger and it reflects in the guys I've encountered on different dating sites.

>>157305
>Be engaging. There are a lot of chats where I just fucking bail out because the person is soooooo fucking boring and simply giving one word answers to EVERY question I ask. They ask me nothing about myself. What are they expecting to come from it? Can someone please tell me?

THIS.
I met a guy online, and we have been talking since January. First, he lied about his age (lol he said he's 21 and turns out he's 18 lololololol). He did plans for us for summer and we used to talk a lot but afer reading our chats I realised I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS TALKING. He just replied with one word or super short messages.
I confessed him that I like him like a month ago, he said he felt the same. And I felt super happy for that. But then he started to try to make me feel jealous (playing the oh we don't live in the same city, I'll try to make her jealous so she'll like me more. #WRONGGGG) to the point I ended up getting mad, but didn't let him know. It was his behaviour what pissed me off, not that his friend likes him and invited him to the cinema and her house. Fucking lol when I discovered he went with his friend and the sister of his friend hahaha he made it sound like a date and it wasn't like that.
He started to talk less (is that even possible? lol) because a classmate and I became very close. He's very attractive and I think he believes there's something between us (if I tell him I'm with my friend, he just changes the topic. Like 'I'm with X, we are going to the cinema' 'oh did I tell you about the dog my friend has? The dog needs a new haircut'. Shit like that. The last chat was like 2 weeks ago, he left me on read. I told him what I did that day and never replied. And it's always like that. I ask him 'how are you', he replies but doesn't ask back. I ask about his week, he never asked me. I always ask him things, he never asks me. And that little brat is online 24/7. Always talking about himself, work, politics or money. That's not how you impress a girl. If he expects me to send him a new message, he's wrong. I deleted our chat and I'll 'crawl for a guy' (it's like going after someone even tho they don't want anything with you/they act cold with you).
I went a lil off topic but because I'm mad. Sorry lol to resume up: he's boring, replies with short messages/one word and wants me to go after him (which is not gonna happen)

>>157312
>I deleted our chat and I'll 'crawl for a guy
I mean I'll never crawl

>>157312
How old are you? Because this sounds ridiculous.

>>157314
20 lol and yes, it is ridiculous. What a waste of time.
When I discovered his age, I asked why he lied. He said he thought I'd turn him down for being younger. I didn't mind since he seemed to be mature but as you can see I was wrong.

I think it can work, but to be fair, I haven't had much success with dating sites. I've always felt pressure to try to force chemistry when it comes to dating sites.

That said, meeting someone online shouldn't be discounted. My boyfriend of about 3.5 years and I ended up meeting because of Omegle. Extreme case of good luck.

>>157315
I would've guessed 16. You sound juvenile.