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No. 141005
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Forcing myself to go out and meet new people, it's been a year that I'm doing this. Like they say, no man is an island.
Overall, it's been… fine, I guess.
In 2012 I committed "social suicide". Left my job, stopped talking to the few friends I had and dropped out of college because ~reasons~. Even though I know I'm in an anonymous board, I feel like nothing that I could ever say would justify why I did it.
I'm an introvert, maybe a misanthrope or just a pessimist. In the end, I gotta suck it up, deal with it and go on with my life.
No. 141007
I hate being in a group with 3-10 people because I always feel like they are staring/judging me and I don't have a good chat.
Groups with more/less people are fine because when there's only 2 or 1 I can be more relaxed and open without too much fear of judging, and with 10+ people it's just too crowded for anyone to acknowledge my presence, so it's perfect.
>>141004>I'm not even remotely interested in making friends, sadly to say. People always leave, I'm not an interesting person and I'm too lazy to make the effort to befriend others.I'm kinda like you but it's me who always leave. I always feel like I'm bothering people by hanging around and not talking much.
Sometimes i think the only person I'll be truly comfortable with after time has passed is my husband.
No. 141008
>>141007>I hate being in a group with 3-10 people because I always feel like they are staring/judging me and I don't have a good chat.Groups with more/less people are fine because when there's only 2 or 1 I can be more relaxed and open without too much fear of judging, and with 10+ people it's just too crowded for anyone to acknowledge my presence, so it's perfect.
For me, groups of 3-4 are perfect because if I don't feel like talking or being social, I can just stay quiet and listen to others or do my own thing instead of joining in and still feel present. If I'm alone with only one person, I need to stay active all the time and it's exhausting. And if I want to say something, the group is small enough to notice me and take me into account.
But holy shit, big groups. I always get anxious and feel lonely as hell, nobody acknowledges me and I get the feeling that I should just leave instead of ruining the time for everyone.
No. 141014
>>141012Same, anon. Do you ever get super bored or just start crying randomly when you think about your loneliness? It happens to me all the time and I can't help it. I wish I had at least one person to talk to but it seems like it's harder nowadays to approach people because everyone's got their own group of friends already. Whether I'm trying to talk to people online or irl, it's hard either way and I don't know how to interact without getting anxious.
When I'm in public crowded places I get super nervous and think everyone's looking at me even though I know no one really is. Dating is definitely out of reach so I play otome to make up for it. On top of this I feel like a failure for dropping out of high school while everyone else graduated and is probably studying something they love.
No. 141019
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>>141006this. really annoying when people act like it's some zany personality trait you could magically overcome if you tried. especially when you get physical symptoms like stuttering, or shaking like
>>141012feels bad, man.
No. 141020
>>141019Tnx a lot, I also felt like
>>141012When I go outside I feel like everyone is watching,judinging me,my hands get dead cold, I get light headed,my heart beats faster than a "normal person"and when I move I get all twitchy and Shakey this also happens when I speak to others,getting slurish and can't figure out what to say next and I feel like a plain idiot bothering other people.I cry cause I can't control this. I try to get help but I felt like a bother to that person This all happens as soon I step out my comfort zone.
No. 141021
File: 1438178183320.jpg (120.54 KB, 600x600, letsdothis.jpg)
I went from literally living in a closet on my computer with only online friends to being nicknamed "Sunshine" at a customer service job and making friends with everyone easily.
If you're American (or your country is not anti-ADHD), get on an antidepressant (Effexor XR has been great) and Vyvanse (a slow release Adderall.) Shit changed my life. Get Buspar for anxiety (it may increase from the Vyvanse, but it's worth the trade.) I also did a year of dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) which was life-changing and I'd recommend to anyone. Finally, eat less carbs (when you get cravings, only eat whole grain things like oatmeal or fruit because there's lots of fiber) and more vegetables, and do cardio for 30 minutes 3-4 times a week (if you don't get a runner's high from significant cardio, you're probably just not breathing in the most effective way.) And always, always drink more water.
If anyone has any questions about anything, I've been on these meds for a while so I can try to answer. I've been on 7 different antidepressants (Celexa, Lexapro, Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Effexor extended release and non-extended release) and benzos (Ativan, Xanax, and Klonopin, stay away from those omg; Buspar is better and non-addictive/very few side effects). I had moderate to severe depression since I was 8 years old (and hypothyroidism since 12) and finally got it under control with lots of trying different shit. Mental illness is awful and I'd like to help in any way I can.
No. 141022
>>141006I've had similar issues
anxiety got progressively worse in high school, left irl school and did it all at home. this actually made me socially awkward having no contact with anyone IRL (would not leave my house even on weekends, i was happy just staying home and gaming)
fast forward a few years, been baker acted a few times, spend around 5 months in inpatient care total. Finally diagnosed which is great but scary since I feel like I tell anyone they will think i'm weird or a bad person and abandon me (which makes my abandonment issues worse KEK)
- bipolar 1 with psychotic features (stress brings them out usually)
- BPD
- GAD and (trichotillomania, think brought on by anxiety)
can't maintain friendships, feel like a total loser
the worst part is that i'm actually pretty normal besides my health issues. I love traditionally girly things like makeup, shopping, clothes, etc but have never been able to have a long term female friend (or male friend even). I just feel like I bother anyone so I go away.
>>141021I was on buspar for a while and it wasn't too bad. I also second don't go on benzos, they will fuck you up long term way worse.
No. 141023
>>141006>>141020 same person here talking •.•
>>141021I tried consoling once, after 3 days my consoler wanted me to take pills (I don't rember what kind tho,but it was for anxienty)+ send me away to a mental health school to school. But there was no way I wanted to do that so then I left consoling,but Im willing to try pills now would you recommend it?
>>141022 I can relate thing tbh, I was told I had anxiety but was never diagnosed in the system :|
No. 141025
>>141021I used to be on Lexapro and it gave me night time sweats and made me empty and zombie-ish to the point that I started cutting just to feel something again. I need to be on meds again but I keep holding back because I'm paranoid of weight gain and other strange side effects. I heard wellbutrin is good but I don't know how to go about requesting something specific without it being awkward.
I'm sick of being bored and unmotivated and feeling like putting effort into life is pointless.
No. 141026
>>141024It's hard when you feel unmotivated, but it is worth trying new doctors if you can.
I found out about a neuroscience/psychiatry place in my local city (initially went there because they had pay-what-you-can therapy, Google "low cost mental health" with your area name or ask acquaintances, or call a local doctor office and ask if they know of any such place.) Anyways, when I began seeing someone for psychiatry there I was assigned to a nurse practitioner (NP.) I have had the BEST luck with NPs versus with actual MDs, whether they were specialist like this or GPs, let me tell you. I think it's because they begin as nurses, work, and then realize they want to be able to do more for their patients, so they take the motivation to go back to school. They are people that truly want to help others.
I began by opening up with everything truthfully, and clearly I needed a new antidepressant. She seemed somewhat cold the first session or two, but after that she began opening to me (and she turns out to be a huge Star Wars/Miyazaki fan, go figure! I encouraged her to put more of those figurines around her office and she did!) I would see her every month until we were at the right dosage of Effexor for my depression (maybe 3 months) and then we decided that the Effexor alone wasn't helping enough with anxiety so she introduced the Buspar. That helped right away, not as much dosage tweaking needed.
My boyfriend was also on those two pills, and he told me about Vyvanse. I had been on Adderall before, so I decided to ask her about it since we had more of a relationship at that point. I told her how I've always had concentration problems and that I was on Adderall about two years before and it was the only thing that allowed me to accomplish work, but that it was a very harsh high and then crash sometimes, and that I had "recently heard about this pill called Vyvanse that's like a slow release version of it." She got on board with me, and I still (1.5 yrs later) haven't asked for/really needed an increase in dosage, so that also makes them realize you're not just drug-seeking if any of you anons are worried about that. Later, she switched me to Effexor XR because the side effects if you accidentally miss a pill on the non-XR were kind of messing me up sometimes. The XR made an even BETTER difference in my depression.
Don't be afraid to ask for what you need, but do it in a carefully planned out way, and build trust with your NP/psych. I only see her every 2-3 months now.
No. 141027
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>>141025Lexapro had some of those effects on me, too. I am not sure if there is an extended release version of it, but that might help if you can't get on Vyvanse. Vyvanse… when you're on anti-depressants, it gives you life again, and your depression is still gone.
I take my 3 psych pills when I wake up, lay in bed and 15 minutes later I can feel my body like "powering up" like a robot, lol. I go from feeling groggy. Then, it's easy to stand up, get dressed, go make myself a healthy breakfast, and smile. Feed my fish, pet the dogs, etc. It puts joy into life again, for me, and my boyfriend and the other person I know who is on it. It makes you say, "Okay, I can face this day. What do I need to do now to make things happen?"
Oh btw, it also curbs appetite since it's a stimulant. It's a nice side effect if you need weight loss. But make sure you eat some quality food that will fill you for a while right around when you take those pills so you don't run on empty (you won't feel it too much during the 8-hours or so that it's active in you, but it's not too good for your body to be running on stimulants and nothing else. Bad for your liver.)
>>141023I have to go to work now, but I will write more for you later!
No. 141028
>>141027Thanks so much for your reply. I find your posts helpful and comforting, it gives me a bit of hope for myself.
Question for when you return: I'm wondering how well do you sleep? Do stimulants like vyvanse make it hard to get a good rest or do they usually wear off by then?
No. 141029
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Okay, back from work.
>>141020>>141023What do you mean by advocate? I'm guessing by your English (it's not terrible or anything) that you're from another country, so depending on which one, you may have more/limited options as far as therapy and medications.
I used to be the same way with people, even at a really young age. I just felt fear in very common situations, which would lead to me crying very often in front of others - embarrassing, which often made the problem worse. No one would understand why I was upset a lot of the time, and when you're that anxious, you can hardly explain why, as you know. As I got older, I withdrew from socializing gradually, as I felt more physically comfortable chatting online, since I could plan out things to say so I wouldn't look "stupid." I've been there.
My DBT therapist told me at the beginning about a study done with babies in which the researchers blew air at them. Some babies got excited, some babies ignored it, some showed a mild negative response, and some began crying. Basically, this is to illustrate that we have different sensitivity levels that may or may not change throughout our lives. I can't find that study, but here is an article discussing similar research.
http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2014/12/19/371679655/some-early-childhood-experiences-shape-adult-life-but-whichWe don't know why this is yet, and we don't know how to fix it. But we do have things that can help us cope, including medications and therapy. I think, for people like us, they are close to necessary in order to live an independent enough life in any modern society. They certainly have made things a lot easier for me.
But that's not to say they fixed everything. If you read above, I was on many, many different pills before finding the right ones, and even then, I needed more help. I was on Lexapro/Celexa for 2-3 years without therapy and was at a plateau that whole time; my depression improved from baseline, but I still wasn't happy. I still thought and felt negatively on a regular basis.
Also, I was initially against pills when I was a teen, but after a while, I realized I should give it a shot because I was miserable and I had to admit that to myself. No matter how much I willed myself to "fight" through it, I would end up falling hard again, and I finally said enough is enough. It's okay to accept help, from pills and from people. Again, I think for people like us, it's pretty much necessary.
I would end up like this picture a lot, sometimes even when I was on antidepressants.
No. 141030
>>141029Continuing on…
It was a long journey for me to get balanced out. I was 23 when I finally was able to have a "normal," independent life. I had to hit rock bottom before that happened, and it wasn't pretty. (A fight with my YOUNGER sister who was mostly supporting me financially for 6 months, on New Year's 2014, drunk, took the few benzos I had left, rolled into a ditch in the middle of the night, my family was scared of me/hated me for a while after that.) I wouldn't like others to have to hit rock bottom like I did so they can begin recovering.
About therapy: I had tried a few therapists before, no specific program, just talk therapy. It helped me get through the days, but I found myself still without direction or hope, staying at home forcing myself to play video games I couldn't even enjoy, not hearing back from jobs/unable to concentrate on my online job. I was trying out different antidepressants at this time and they were giving me such bad side effects that I couldn't stay on them. I would actually spend a lot of time just staring at the wall. (Wow, revisiting this time is almost making me cry right now, haha.)
After that crazy night, I was able to move in with my father (he had multiple addictions, not too much help) and get on health insurance (part of what was stopping me before from getting better treatment.) I went to the ER for suicidal ideations. I felt so stupid going there! I mean, I had wanted to die for years. But I had to keep telling myself I needed help. They referred me to the DBT place after talking with a mental health coordinator, that I might do better in a more structured therapy program. I Googled DBT and learned it was made primarily to treat people with BPD, Borderline Personality Disorder. I tried to tell myself I wasn't "that crazy" after reading about BPD, but I had to admit that I did fill a lot of that criteria. (I have still not been diagnosed with it, and I don't know if I have it or not - but it's not something that matters to me anymore, because the therapy worked well whether that's my label or not.)
After a few weeks wait, I had my intake appointment and expressed all the horrible feelings for an hour, and I was assigned a therapist to see the following week. The place was really comfortable and welcoming with all kinds of tea to choose from to bring into your session and a hot water machine.
DBT incorporates "mindfulness," paying attention to what you're doing and where you are right at the moment. I had been interested in Buddhism and meditation for years already since it could supposedly help mental issues in many different ways, but never learned how to meditate and got frustrated when I tried because my mind would wander and wander. I always had a problem with "spacing out" and oftentimes that's when I would be thinking of the past (usually bad things I couldn't change, causing depression) or the future (worrying about how I was going to be able to face this or that, anxiety.)
No. 141031
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>>141030Well, I'm going on longer than I intended to and it's a little fragmented, sorry guys. This
is cathartic for me, though, so thanks for letting me post it.
So yeah, therapy. My therapist is really nice, and the most active listener I have ever met in my life. It was nice to be heard, and have someone trying to understand and almost always succeeding. I felt and even told her this later that I had thoughts and feelings like, "how can she help me? She's too perfect, no way she's been through shit as bad as mine." I was much more judgmental about myself and others at that time and I didn't even realize how much and how often until I started going there.
DBT requires you to agree to some terms before beginning treatment. One is that you will not be open to suicide. I almost didn't do the program because, for two weeks in a row, we debated why that can't be an option, but eventually we found a way that I could agree (not worth going into right here, has to do with my "religion" agnosticism.) So we began. I was given a Diary Card to fill out every day, like shown in the picture. It was actually pretty fun to track my feelings and such and then talk about it with her at the beginning of the next session.
Soon she began teaching me about the concepts DBT programs are based on: our minds have three "modes" (reason mind, emotion mind, and the merging of the two, wise mind) and each are most effective for different situations. They give you a whole binder containing worksheets and information pages on different "skills" you use in different situations, when you have intrusive thoughts, etc. I did SOOOO many worksheets. At the end of every session, she'd give me "homework" sheets based on what we'd talked about. I got so into it that I would ask for more. I can try to find an example in a minute here. But, when I would be freaking out or something, I would go fill out a worksheet that asks questions about it. They were easy to complete, but it's like - you're using logic to make your mind realize that hey, this is not how things actually are, I just
feel this way right now - that doesn't make it true. And I would usually go from feeling like 70% shameful or sad or what have you, down to like a 25%. Sometimes doing a worksheet would get me to 0% of the negative feeling, sometimes it would only help like 10% or not at all, but they helped often enough that they really became an important tool.
No. 141032
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>>141031After a few months of this, I got to begin the once-weekly group sessions in addition to my individual sessions. There were about 5-9 girls in the group depending on when they would graduate the program (and some dropped out of course.) At first it was intimidating, but I quickly began to look forward to it. In DBT the "group therapy" is not just sharing your sob stories. It's more like a class with two therapists guiding/teaching. The first 45 minutes would include an opening mindfulness session for about 5 minutes (there were SO many cool ones we did - sometimes it would be a meditation type, where we closed our eyes and fun ones where we each patted the desk to a certain rhythm and had to switch to the rhythm of the person next to you once it went around - etc.) Then we would all go around and briefly share what we thought or felt in our bodies and minds during the activity. This is how I learned to meditate. Next, we would pull out our group homework we'd all done hopefully and we'd go around and each discuss it. This is the only part of the group during which you might hear a story about someone's life, by the end of group (9 months for me) I really didn't know
too much about most of their lives. But yeah, talking about how they had a fight with a friend and were so angry afterward that they felt like breaking something, but thought about and used a skill, like "opposite to emotion action" and thought "what will happen if I break this lamp?" and actively stop themselves from doing it. Well, you gather a lot of inspiration and ideas from the others' stories. It was invaluable.
We then had a 5 minute break, and when we re-gathered, the lesson would begin. We'd learn about a new skill or skills, maybe view a slideshow, watch a video related to it, etc. We'd all take notes like in school. Then they'd give us the homework sheets at the end.
So yeah. Twice a week, lots of homework, lots of ups and downs… and gradually, less downs. I saw my therapist every week up until May and still schedule an appointment every couple of months when I can use some help. She always gives me ideas and different perspectives on situations that I may not have seen before (I got better at doing that over time, though.)
Sorry this was so long, but for anons who haven't been in a program like this - I never knew such a thing existed, how it could be - I wanted to share.
>>141028As far as sleep goes… I have had trouble with it for years. For me, as long as I take the Vyvanse early enough in the day, I don't have a problem. The half-life is 8 hours. My boyfriend takes one in the morning and a second one in the afternoon for 16 hours of "go," so at night, he takes his third Buspar of the day and Seroquel, a sleeping aid that's not as dangerous as Ambien supposedly. I tried Seroquel once when I couldn't sleep and felt pretty depressed the next morning, and since I currently don't need it, I haven't messed with it since. I believe I just had taken too much of it for a first-time. Also, it makes you stupidly hungry for the hour or so before you fall asleep. I mean, you will likely inhale your refrigerator, I've almost seen it happen…
No. 141036
I think that "switch" in my mind has just shut and I can't really connect with other people. Either the conversation is something I'm not satisfied with, or it gets into personal info and suddenly I get uncomfortable and shut down cause it reminds me I'm not just an impersonal anon anymore. Like, I don't even know what to say anyway. Don't even know what I want out of a friendship.
It's weird though, I get along with my parents like a house on fire, so it must mean that I AM able to connect and make friends (even if only with other weird people) but my mind just declines that possibility time and again.
I'm thinking of making a tulpa because they seem interesting
>>141015>people aren't as fulfilling as you'd think. don't feel shame for indulging interests in private. no one has to know anything. eventually you start feeling less lonelyThis
No. 141039
>>141024It's temporary. I kind of want to get off of it now. At first, I was amazed by how well I though it worked, but now, I feel like it just messes me up and I want my old mind back.
That's the thing with Amphetamines, you develop a tolerance and then they don't work so well. Even when you stop taking them for a while and start again, it doesn't have the same effect, you just feel way over hyper and on edge because you aren't as used to it.
I think it increases the amount of dopamine in the brain or something. You think to yourself "wow, I love this drug!" because it makes you feel good while you're taking it without really considering if it's helped or not. It makes it difficult to do things that you have to do instead of things that you want to do, not a lot of work gets done and you fall into your old habits. It makes you crave pleasurable stimulation like music or video games, and it also makes it hard not to masturbate all the time because it increases sex drive in some people.
TLDR after a year you wont even want it anymore. You're habits will follow you, work of fixing them instead of going on drugs.
After all this time, I've finally figured out what was really wrong with me. I couldn't focus or motivate myself and assumed it was my ADD, yet it all got better when I visited my family and had people to talk to every day. I think we, as a society, need to stop medicalizing normal behavior. If you're living in social isolation, then it's perfectly normal to be depressed. It's natures way of telling you that you're in a bad situation and need to get out of it.
No. 141041
>>141040Please, could you give me some more info?
How'd you go about making your tulpa, like what methods? I don't really want to do it using a wonderland. Also, how can your tulpa help you socially? Do they actually lessen how much anxiety you feel? pls resbond
No. 141044
>>141034I actually tried this for a while. I found that I'm just as awkward in skype chatting as I am in real life.
Also, you get contacted mostly by guys whose only reason to add you is because you're female and they obviously expect things from you. It's not that simple.
No. 141045
>>141044>Also, you get contacted mostly by guys whose only reason to add you is because you're female and they obviously expect things from you. It's not that simple.ugh this shit. I got contacted by a depressed guy, he said nobody cares about what he says, so I tried to ask him about himself let him vent or just talk, you know, "care"…immediately he shuts down that train of conversation and asks what I look like IRL and sends me his picture.
I'm like JFC why do I bother
No. 141046
>>141045almost all robots think having a gf will fix them thats a problem they have to overcome.
I've also tend to find the ones that are depressed/shutin/just dying inside, don't mention it straight away or if ever.
No. 141050
>>141046If this is what you think of robots then you are dead fucking wrong. It has nothing to do with being saved. It has nothing to do with you either. It has everything to do with that somehow we are the ones who are different and fell through the cracks. There are kids half my fucking age having sex while I somehow cannot. Where the "just be yourself" to us means death because who we are is undesirable by anybody else. We cannot find partners, we are unable to do what everybody else seemingly does and its a pillar of being "normal". Something we all deep down wish we were.
So fuck you and your high and mighty "having a gf wont fix your problems". We fucking know. We just want to be human.
No. 141055
>>141050stop being a piece of shit feeling sorry for yourself.
If you want to act like a sad sack, no one is going to hang around to be dragged down with you. Everyone already has their own baggage to carry.
Secondly, I feel like guys like you have higher standards than you should.
Just don't be a douchbag or speak like a fucking fedora & look clean (& wash your damn hair).
& MEET PEOPLE. If your hobbies are games/anime whatever the fuck, go to conventions/forums meet people with similar interests.
The perfect girl isn't going to just float through your window into your lap.
No. 141056
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>>141055did u read the thread title
No. 141060
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>>141046I gave up on the getting a gf thing a few years ago now I just hide my depression by maintaining the appearance of normalcy
I think maybe the people like me who don't feel they have a place in society felt they got gipped out of being something great like as if a thousand years ago we were going to be a great warrior or leader, but now we live in a society where everyone is so similar that that's almost impossible
No. 141063
>>6108Fuck off. As a male, you're only worth the things you produce and you've produced nothing in your life. That's why no one has cared, cares, or ever will care about male suicide. When he dies his resources are up for grabs, and if he creates nothing then he was a leech anyways.
That's why when a girl cries we comfort her, because her value is inherent and only exists when she is healthy. When a man cries it just shows he's incapable, and we demand that he become something worth something.
No. 141065
>>141003i'm an introvert, it's hard to make friends, and sometimes it feels lonely, but the most of time i feel happy with my loneliness with no parties, etc
idk if i'm socially awkward, people think i'm a little weird but i dont know how things make you a socially awkward person so i dont really know
>>141005i think this years it is my social suicide too
i'm not hanging out with nobody, just with my family
in the case of the studies, i've dropped all that and started to study by myself, and i think it's going well, i'm very distracted easily and also just too shy to be in school classes, my voive is too low to be heared in the classrooms, etc, maybe it apperas just some dumb excuses but i feel really nervous with many people in classrooms, so i prefe studying by myself
i can learn more and better that way too
>>141011You husband is a nice person, i wish you a happy and long live with him
>>141012the only thing i do for making friends is adding people on faccebook or other social pages, but when they talk to me i feel nervous, and i just make excuses when they intend to invited me to places
>>141017Then start visit non boring pages
>>141057>>141063
> why Feminist is not only for females No. 141074
>>141073Sounds similar to me. I had a lot of friends up until 7th grade, then a bunch of little things happened:
-I had a falling out with my friends
-I got beat up
-8th grade I switched to a shitty city public school, had no friends, learned nothing. I literally didn't have a math class, they couldn't find a teacher.
-Switched to a suburban HS, had no friends and failed most of my classes because I learned nothing the previous year
-parents fought constantly
Nothing major really happened to me, but it was the combination of all that, plus just being an angsty teen- I shut down. For around 5 years I just stayed in my room and played an MMORPG. I lost the ability to communicate. "If you don't use it, you lose it" is so true.
I'm.. improving? I can talk to my family and cashiers normally, but that's about it. Still no friends.
I'm also into art. I guess I'm a little above average, but I practice daily. I'd really love to be a decent artist.
No. 141075
>>141074Yep sounds similar. I think it was all those little things for me too. Not talking, driving, etc. over time really made those sorts of skills vanish.
On top of that, the few female friends I do have are kinda known around the new city I recently moved to are event planners/sponsors (I don't even know the difference, but they get free tickets just to be there). They've tried to introduce me to people, put me on dates, and none of it ever turns into anything.
I've come to the conclusion that it's probably because I cared too much about making friends. Although its lonely I really do feel happier just 'doing me' and focusing on art.
Plus the way I see it, I can either totally focus on improving myself/my art and possibly being proud of it one day; or I can spend all my time worrying and focusing on social situations that, for the most part, never seem to get anywhere. I know it's a rather glum attitude to have but it personally makes me feel happy
No. 141077
>>141003Started a new job this week. I suffer from anxiety and depression and I almost quit after day 1. But I didn't. Main problem for me is new enviroments and meeting new people. This is my first job in 2 years since I had a bit of a mental breakdown and couldn't even get out of my house due to my last job.
I don't particularly enjoy social company. I have my close friends and a boyfriend, but outside that i'm not really interested to intermingle with new people, aside from my anxiety. Same with going out. I'd rather spend my time at home where i'm comfortable and everything is in my reach. I don't know if that's considered a 'problem' but it makes me feel alright. I'm still functioning at work with people. I'm just glad my hours are short and sweet.
No. 141078
>>141077I feel the same about the new environments and people. I'm on long holiday and technically should be getting a holiday job just as everybody else has but I'm freaked out by the sheer idea of even dealing with people. I'd rather spend time and home and do the stuff I like or spend time around my bf (who's the only person I talk to on a regular basis anymore these days) than to do something else, but I honestly can't think of doing this for months straight whilst my finances burn up.
I can talk to people just fine, but too much of it always gets to me. Plus, I'm terrified of mistakes and getting yelled at by superiors. I'm still looking out for a suitable job where the hours are more flexible that I'm somewhat comfortable with. I don't know how I'm going to cope or function properly if I do find one, though.
No. 141079
File: 1464201737281.png (19.79 KB, 300x300, dIXH5hI.png)
>>141073>>141074Dang you guys sound similar to me!
I've been out of school for a year, and because I'm usually in my house with little to no social interaction I feel I've been having a lot of trouble speaking and gathering my thoughts properly. It's really weird since I've never had this problem before.
I'm also into art and looking to hopefully score a job so I can buy all the art supplies and weeb shit I want
but the idea of going to an interview and having to potentially lie my ass off about how social I am is nerve-wracking
No. 141080
File: 1464204455480.jpg (46.92 KB, 500x375, 1454706549318.jpg)
I don't have more than about 3 friends and when I try befriending their friends it feels like I'm trying too hard or I come off as weird or annoying to them. It sucks to have that kind of fear of rejection since it makes me anxious in any sort of social situation. And I've always been the "odd one" in my social groups at school, but I'm always thinking that other people know that about me and I'm sick of it. But with strangers I can manage to come off as at least friendly.
No. 141081
>>141078Unfortunatly when you start a job you will always make mistakes. I'm over that fear and it's just something you have to accept yourself. If you're anything like me, failure and rejection freaks you out more than anything - but trust me, after 3 jobs, i'm over fucking caring about making mistakes in my first few weeks. No one should put you down for being new.
Just find something which is easy for you. I'm working with a online company which sell products, so working with computers for me is a diddle (even though i'm new to the software but i'll get use to it). It's so easy for people who suffer from anxiety to get worked up about silly little 'what ifs' but I promise you, if I can do it you can too.
No. 141084
>>141082You sound almost exactly like me.
I've hardly left the house at all for the past few months, my mom is the only one I talk to and even now we're drifting apart. My sisters are strangers to me.
I feel like everyone at my age is going out and having fun lives and I've already wasted my youth. Never had a SO or anything. The only thing that keeps me going these days is my interests in fashion and music but it's silly because it's not like anyone will ever see what I wear anyway.
I had a close friend (potentially more?) online, but they never initiate anything anymore and I think they've lost interest.
I look back at the massive amount of time I've squandered holed up in my room and I just feel like there's no way out.
No. 141089
I'm very socially awkward, but I'm also a fucking extravert. So basically I make my own life insufferable by creating awkward situations every time I interact with other people, which is every fucking time I get out of the house. I like having chitchats with strangers, so I start them…while not having ANYTHING to say and talking WAAAAY too fast lol. Sometimes I also realize a bit later that I sounded like a complete retard and it makes me sad. I'm also kind of emotional and yet it's really hard for me to express my feelings verbally, so it makes everything even more awkward. I don't know how to phrase compliments and other nice stuff like a normal human being so everything ends up weird.
I also smile all the fucking time, somethimes even when another person is telling me about something awful. Can't do anything about it, I just really like almost everyone I talk to.
Also my eyes have a tendency to get all watery every time I'm worried or excited or basically feeling any strong emotion and people often think that I'm starting to cry lol.
Basically the only person I can talk to without feeling like a retard is my husband, and recently I've been feeling like I dont need anyone else in my life but him. And he's an awkward introvert, so we pretty much stay inside all the time, even ordering our groceries online. It's so much easier to live that way. But when I'm going to get my hair done or do something else where there are other people…pls kill me.
I'd also really like not having to go to work EVER, because, well, AWKWARD, but thats kind of frowned upon in the modern world, even if we dont really need money, my hubby is earning more than we need and even if something happens I have a huge apartment to rent out.
Is this shit normal?
No. 141090
I used to really hate my akward self, and felt like I would never be able to cope/manage it. It took a while but I found something that has been working for me.
For me the best thing that helps is exercise, it really helps keep my insecurities at bay throughout the day. I see a significant difference in how I feel socially if I don't exercise (1+ hour hikes). I guess it has to do with the seretonin/dopamine increase after a hike. I also take a small dose of Ritalin on days I have work which makes it easier for me to interact with people, it helps the impulse control issues I have.
I still do social akward things from time to time, but they don't bother me as much as they used to and I'm not doing them as often (or I just don't care/notice anymore?).
>>141089Hey Anon, I'm glad you were able to find someone who loves you, hopefully the same will happen for me.
No. 141103
>>141102Since he's on twitch I assume it's not grossgore, but still probably figure out before hand if you're dtf and reconsider going if you're not.
If you're okay with it, do some video calls with him if you haven't already, also let him know you're a little shy and ask him what you're doing the first couple of days so know what's going on ahead of time and can avoid awkward things like if he wanted to take you to a party or to hang out with people you haven't met. Maybe try a cheap date like him giving you a walking tour of the city, that way you have something to talk about and you don't have to be dumped straight into alone time, or just ask to chill around the house with him if that's better for your anxiety.
No. 141105
>>141103>>141104we've been video chatting too, it definitely has helped.
he said he wants to fly me in for a few days and was telling like he was gonna take me out on dates and show me places where he lives (and going to meet his mom).
I'm gonna be mostly out and about with him I think. I'm also partially nervous because he is friends with tons of huge huge streamers and I don't really want to be on their streams if I can avoid it.
We also bought concert tickets for later this year in december as well so I would be going back again then (so maybe i'm not just a booty call? maybe i'm too optimistic haha).
No. 141106
>>141105Why not just tell him how you feel? About all those things you are nervous about?
Being open and honest about things is good for any relationship.
No. 141108
>>141105Meet his mom? Woah, how long have you two been talking?
If you think it's something with substance I think you should just be upfront about being anxious, it's understandable.
No. 141110
>>141106>>141109Yeah I'm going to tell him. I just didn't wanna seem dumb or something.
>>141108like two months, I think it's more so that he is very close to him mom (single mom raised him) and he doesn't really have any girls over ever/doesn't date much. we aren't getting married or anything like that just dating now.
No. 141112
>>141105lol theyre not going to make you go on stream if you dont want to. dont even worry about that.
how popular is this streamer?
No. 141113
>>141110Good luck!
This anon
>>141111 is right, he sounds really sweet
No. 141115
>>141114Same here, anon.
I've solved this problem by finding one person who can tolerate me being an extraverted weirdo 24/7, which is just the right amount of human contact for me. I also don't go outside a lot so I won't get all awkward while trying to talk to strangers for no reason.
You might wanna try this, it made my life so much easier!
No. 141116
>>141004I understand how you might feel. There are times when I genuinely believe that I was meant to be alone, as well.
There are times when I really truly want to make friends, though, but I always end up leaving them. Even with chatrooms, I just can't seem to find the courage to type up something as simple as "Hello, I'm Anon!" without thinking it over a few hundred times and then deciding against it.
Going out in public is terrifying because it feels like everyone feels disgusted and embarrassed of me by default. I feel ashamed of myself every time I'm near another person, but thats probably more of an insecurity problem than a introvert/socially awkward one.
I tend to avoid people that are friendly, too. It's like I'm afraid of developing relationships in the first place. I don't have any friends except for one whom I'm now dating after many years. It feels like I'm exteremely dependent on her and not quite sure how healthy that might be for either of us which makes me feel a little guilty
Eh, I'm trying to learn to find comfort in being alone again.
No. 141120
File: 1469158121784.jpg (19.36 KB, 300x300, 201601_2312_hhfii_sm.jpg)
I was always a bit of a loner. And I don't even know why but I somehow ended up making friends in secondary school. Until they weren't my friends anymore (turned into rabid SJWs) and I ended up all alone. I made some other friends anyway, mostly via FB and common interests like weebshit, but I was in a really bad place so I was really embarrassing and annoying to be around. Don't want to get into that too much but I'm actually very friendly, except then I was also socially awkward so I came off as weird.
It was then that I attended some festival and I remember being so bloody happy and bubbly all day until I posted some pictures of an older schoolmate with her friend on FB and tagged it 'Becky and (her) friend'. The friend commented 'aww, she thinks we're friends, poor thing :('. I think that was the straw that broke the camel's back.
I dressed weird, liked weird stuff, people were taking the piss behind my back all the time and so I just decided to… stop. I contacted nobody ever again and they never contacted me. None of my friends, old or new, cared about me.
I went abroad the year after that and tried making friends again but it was so weird, I was on exchange in France (yes, I'm that anon) and they would sometimes talk to me but most of the time they didn't even want to say hi. I wasn't even overly weird at this point, I dressed pretty plainly. I said hi and was polite to everyone, but most of the time they wouldn't even say anything back, didn't want to talk to me about jack shit, and just went on ignoring me.
I've always felt like the ugly duckling because that's how everyone treated me. In secondary school it was because I was a weeb (not even a proper weeb, just… odd), but why during my exchange year? I was, for all intents and purposes, normal. Maybe a bit nervous and awkward but otherwise fine.
There I met a girl from Montenegro and a guy from Iran who contacted me first and wanted to hang out and it was so weird, like someone actually wants to hang out? And I slowly became… Well, a 'normie'.
Now I'm doing my Master's in Northern Europe and I'm actually super friendly, but whenever I approach someone they're super reserved and don't want to do anything with me past group projects and the like. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really that bad to be around but at this point I don't actually give a fuck anymore. Everyone here acts like you're mental for even asking someone to gasp go for a drink or to the cinema after classes. Like they have a set friend quota and everyone beyond it is a bag of shite not even worth a proper hello. Some of them even act high and mighty about it, like posting memes on Facebook such as pic related.
I don't get it, I'm not asking you to eat me out, Christ. I've always been saying hello to everyone I know, asking people how they are, how their day was, trying to start a conversation but here everyone acts so fucking uncomfortable, like I told them I fucked their dad or something, and I'm lonely again. The only people who want to talk to me are men in pubs very obviously attempting to make me their pull for the night.
No. 141121
>>141120Ugh, there's one pseudo-friend in my life who pulls that shit on me. He'll shoot the shit with me and then suddenly stop replying (over text) whenever I mention hanging out.
Go sodomize yourself with a drainpipe, J, why do you keep talking to me if you're going to pull that shit? I should just block youI completely understand what you're saying anon. It's tough when you live in that culture, maybe try hanging out with people who are from places that are more open about that sort of thing? I've had no trouble being welcomed by and hanging out with South Americans (namely Brazilians) who at the time I barely even knew, and they were awesome.
No. 141122
>>141121Yeah, I tend to hang around a lot of Slavs for whatever reason. Russians are okay but they're always in their own separate group, however there's a lot of Poles/Czechs/Serbs/Bulgarian girls around and they're great craic. Best of all they never pull the 'uhmm sorry my English isn't very good so I'll just talk to my pal here in my native language and ignore you even though you're standing right there' shite, they'll use their arms and legs if need be just to explain something to you. For some reason the locals here think less of them and always act condescending as fuck even though those girls are better people than they'll ever be.
The only thing about them is they're always working because they come from poor families, so they can't come shoot the shit with me almost at all and we rarely talk otherwise. But I don't blame them or anything.
No. 141123
>>141120I used to kinda do that to people who wanted to hang out because I'd feel super awkward and worry that they'd think I was super weird if they talked to me for too long. But I'm not European, so I don't know if what you described if some sort of cultural thing.
It still sucks though, hopefully you'll find one or two people you can really get along with, since introverts tend to do better in small friend groups.
No. 141128
>>141120It sucks to be in your position anon, but you come off sounding a little entitled. Not everyone has to be a social butterfly and some cultures are more reserved than others. In some countries people will need a considerable amount of time to let other people in their space and to consider spending their time with them and that's okay.
I have the opposite problem. I live in a southern european country where being loud and extroverted is the norm and people are expected to socialize everyday after work/classes. If they say no then they're rude or "high and mighty". There's no time for personal interests or hobbies and being by yourself is almost seen as a disease. It's not nice either…
No. 141132
>>141120I'm sorry you're going through that anon. Sometimes people unconsciously have a pattern they fall into all of their lives. Parts of your post make me think you might be projecting a little, but that doesn't mean I don't believe your point of view either.
A lot of times when I was younger I would wonder what was wrong with me and why no one wanted to be my friend even though I considered myself normal. But I never took the initiative to get to know people and would be very taken aback about people wanting to hang out with me and feel like they were only inviting me out of pity. It was really conflicting.
At my work I say hi and ask how people's days are but small talk is very boring. So even with being friendly people might still not want to hang out with you. They might feel it's weird because they know nothing about you personally.
No. 141133
>>141132Tbh you're probably right, I can notice those patterns as well but it's very difficult to break out of them.
I think it's likely a combination of both, mostly because I hear others complaining about the same thing from time to time. Whatever the reason, I think I'll just try to learn to enjoy my own company for a while and see what happens. Kinda sucks when you're a socially cucked extrovert.
No. 141135
File: 1470620753319.jpg (79.66 KB, 1024x855, 1466087350409.jpg)
I'm not, for the most part
My girlfriend has a friend over and I've been kind of third-wheeling it the whole time because I'm not sure of how to interact with new people.
I've been kind of socially dependent on her for a while, so I haven't really bothered trying to befriend anyone else.
Right now, my face is kind of buried in my laptop and I've suddenly forgotten what sites I usually browse all day. There's this kind of burning sensation in my stomach and I feel really tense and can't really get in on the pizza because I think I'm getting nauseous but my tummys grumbling.
It feels a little worse cause she's a lot better than me in many ways, so it's also a matter of personal insecuritys. I don't want to ruin their time by letting it develop into jealousy, but she's kind of chosen people over me before, so I wouldn't be surprised if it happened again
I'm trying not to read to into it, but I'm too shy to get involved with them because I'm really awkward and their having a good time. I want to leave, but my girlfriend kind of loves making scenes and I don't want it to seem like that big of a deal
Just kind of hoping that I seem invisible at this point
No. 141137
>>141003Not necessarily an introvert or extrovert i flip between the two depending on the context of situations.
I've just left school and now entering uni all my friends went to other unis or left town for good and i just don't bother contacting them anymore because i can't do long distance relationships.
I now literally have zero friends and haven't been able to make "friends" with people in uni. I feel really unnatural and awkward asking if people want to hang out after class or finding excuses to make conversation.
I find myself always constantly trying to impress others in the hopes that they will stick to me, i have a bit of social anxiety i suppose but i'm almost always the initiator of social interactions. I try to ease tension if i see it appearing. I may be a bit too picky with people because i want friends who i can confide in and trust fully but i'm a superficial cunt so i also want them to be good looking. I'll take a boyfriend/girlfriend i don't care anyone i can talk to about personal issues i'm sick of faking passionate interest in randoms to impress them in the hopes that they will actually like me.
No. 141139
>>141138I also struggle with getting close to people. I've never started a friendship, it was always the other person. I currently have no friends either, I decided they're too much work for me to handle anymore. But hey, that's just the way I am. My biggest suggestion is to google search your problems, there are a lot of good sites out there that can help you get over whatever roadblocks are keeping you from friendship. That's what I did.
Do awkward crying situations happen to you often or something? Either way, you'll have to tough it out and comfort that person. You can't leave a friend to cry.
What do you mean by personal questions? Like favorite shows or asking about family? I don't really know what to tell you. That's standard stuff when it comes to small talk or getting to know someone. I used to really struggle with that getting to know people, but ehow and practice helped me learn how to get to the point where I'm confident with making acquaintances. I come off as pretty cold or awkard so most people have no interest in being friends. Also, another stupid obvious but good thing to look up, "how to make friends".
No. 141143
Long post incoming about how I was partially isolated as a child, it's made it harder for me to make friends and maintain relationships these days(Im 23 btw). I was wondering if anyone else has had this kind of experience:
Ive only recently realized that the way I grew up is a big part of why I have a hard time making and keeping friends. My parents divorced when I was four years old so growing up, I lived with my mom mostly, but stayed with my dad on weekends, holidays, and at least half of the summer. That was fun(at least until I hit a certain age) but my dad unintentionally isolated me. When he would take me to play with someone, it would be my cousin who was much younger. But since my dad worked night shifts half the time on weekends he would be sleeping during the day so I would be playing with toys alone. During the time i was with my mom she would set up playdates with other girls so I had some social interaction with kids my age. My mom also moved alot during this time so some friends I had a wouldnt see again except for one.
Then in middle school he moved to another state for a better job. So i saw him every other weekend and spent a month or two of the summer with him. During the summer he would enroll me in different classes(gymnastics, art, etc) so I socialized then, but I never hung out with anyone outside of class. The days I didn't have class I would be stuck in the apartment all day alone since my dad didnt give me a key(he would be at work), but there was nowhere to walk to anyway. I would see my older cousin a few days a week and that was it. He never encouraged me to meet new people or introduce me to his friends' kids.
My summers were like that until my junior year of high school when I got a job for most of the summer and only visited him for a few weeks. During junior high and high school I made friends from school and would see them after school but during alot of weekends and half or more of the summers I barely saw them. Now I have this weird pattern established of only hanging out with people during the school year and meeting people in class.
When I got into 7th grade, my mom stopped moving to different towns every year and we stayed in the same area until I graduated high school, thank god for that.
Once i got into college it became harder to make friends. Im in my 6th year(and last) year and I still have a bad habit of not hanging out with people during the summer. I have one good friend and a cousin that I see a few times over the summer and thats it. During the school year it takes me a whole semester to make a new friend or two and actually hang out or eat together. Once summer hits I stop trying.
No. 141146
>>141144Damn, it's like I'm reading something I wrote. I've been doing this for a year and I feel so much better.
Yesterday I saw a friend and it just proved to me how much I hate interacting with people. I got back to my place all upset about this and that and feeling it was such a loss a time.
I used to beat myself about being like this for a long time, I'm just know accepting that I'm just not and never will be a social person. It's a relief.
No. 141147
Anyone else out there who constantly feels obligated to be super active on social media? I'm 18 and only use FB to communicate with people from school for projects or whatever…last time I actually posted something on my timeline was over a year ago, and that was actually my first post. I have also have an instagram to follow bloggers/models but keep it completely private, mostly because my life is so boring I don't have anything remotely interesting to share.
It sounds so sad but I only have two real friends from hs who actually knows me outside of school. Everybody else just doesn't really interest me or bother to actually interact outside of that…just so glad i'm done with that bs. Even with my two friends, its not exactly a perfect friendship - one of them is a really passive and it used to drive me crazy having to constantly initiate things. But now i've sort of just accepted that, otherwise I won't have any friends at all…
I'm starting college this fall and I really want to become more social and have more of a presence online even though I think i'm really awkward. Trying to open up to people more easily - I do think I have a personality but it really only comes out with people i've known for a period of time :/
my dream life is to be super attractive cute/sexy azn chick (maybe even one of those "gamer" girls) with tons followers, sponsors…how awesome is it get cash and fame just for having a pretty face? nowdays it seems pretty easy to do so with tumblr and insta, might as well take advantage of your youth right. i'm actually saving up for PS right now :-)
>>141144wish i could do what you're doing and completely disconnect myself from social media. funny thing is I wanna get into the tech industry i feel pressured to really put myself out there because that's what employers check now. Like it used to be just the resume and interview, but NO now the standard is: linkedin, published articles on medium, have a portfolio with a "cool" personality, run a blog etc
Woaahh I didn't realize how much I wrote lol. but if anyone else out there like me hmu, maybe we could chat some more. totally open to making online friends
No. 141152
>>141150>I'm scared shitless of being flamed on a gameYou should play with /v/-/vg/, by rule of thumb, the more autistic the game, the better. Everyone loves to meme about /v/ being this and that, but in the years I've played games with /vg/, ARMA, SS13, Minecraft, Space Engineers, Factorio, Pulsar, Wurm, Planetside 2, not only did I never have issues, I've never really seen anyone being flamed unless they were outright dicks actively screwing over other players. SS in particular tends to have its own set of drama, but that aside. However, if you only want to play pleb-tier games, assfaggots and the likes, you're better off not playing at all, those games really attract angsty retards.
No. 141153
>>141046Truth. Much of the time a relationship just changes things up a bit; swaps one problem for another. That kind of thinking is very common though and sometimes the fact is that you won't magically find something/someone that will make you happy, you can only find that yourself inside yourself, right now, not in some fantasy of the future or how you think it "should" be.
Life will never be the projection of a psychological fantasy and our brains lie to us in this way to get us to get up and do shit more. It's a trick. A way to keep us reproducing.
No. 141155
>>141150wow, i had to make sure i hadn't written this my self. about two years to a year ago, i lost a lot of weight, thinking it would make my anxiety better and make me feel better about myself. nope, i got obsessive and hated myself even more than then i was fat. my anxiety got even worse because now i had to deal with creepy guys hitting on me and catcalling all the time. i ended up gaining a lot of the weight back recently, and in a way i almost like it. i still hate myself for being fat, but at least my body hate feels justified and i don't have to deal with awful creeps all the time.
i do the same thing with pushing friends away. and i'm fucking awful with keeping online friends. i prefer solo games for this reason too.
No. 141156
File: 1474425298583.jpg (56.15 KB, 500x498, J6h7F.jpg)
I swing between:
>no friends
>never had a bf
>sad
>look for friends
and
>have friends
>nearing having a bf
>still fucking sad
>stop contacting them and become a hermit again
I don't know what I want anymore. When I'm with people I want to be alone, but when I'm alone I want to be with people.
So far, I've found the most comfortable I can be is alone, but chatting with people on anonymous message boards. I know that I'll sink back into despair and loneliness like I always do eventually and scramble to find friends that I'll eventually ditch again because I want to be alone. IT NEVER ENDS.
Someone please fix me.
No. 141159
>>141157I'm concerned that when I'm 30+ and maybe start to grow out of image boards I'll have nothing left and just end up offing myself.
Also, I've never had a bf but it looks very pleasant. I think ideally I'd have a hermit bf that isn't a complete neckbeard that doesn't have friends either. Just us against the world, sounds nice.
No. 141161
>>141159> I'm concerned that when I'm 30+ and maybe start to grow out of image boards I'll have nothing left and just end up offing myself.There's a whole world out there, and even so you can always find a hobby or even better, a job that you will like doing. Dedicating your life to a subject or a cause is more rewarding than serving someone that will take you for granted. Focus on bigger things, more important things, practice stoicism, work on yourself. Don't fall for the love myth sold by the industry, there's no such thing.
> Also, I've never had a bf but it looks very pleasant. I think ideally I'd have a hermit bf that isn't a complete neckbeard that doesn't have friends either. Just us against the world, sounds nice.Sounds nice but I'm afraid it will never happen. Men as charming as they can be or appear honest in the start are bound to cheat on you or find another one after they get bored of you. Surely, after lots of time spent on imageboards, you had enough of insight how they think. Men can't and won't take you seriously or see anything but a disposable object for pleasure.
No. 141163
>>141162Yeah, nah. I don't hate men and neither do I bitch about them on the internet. I just noted that in today's world and with the social dynamics we have, investing in a relationship is a guaranteed loss of time and energy. Time is valueable and we should use it on better things. I don't really care how you feel about it, I was just giving a word of advice to
>>141159 since I have or had the same problem.
No. 141165
>>141163I'm not talking about hating men, I'm saying that what you're saying about men is
exactly what redpillers say about women.
>Men can't love you like you want them to>They will eventually get bored and trade up>Men are slaves to biological instinct No. 141166
>>141165No it's not. Men can't love at all, fullstop. When men say they love, they actually lust or they say it without meaning it. Women have been fed all these lies by the media that men are romantic, that they feel love and that there is a prince charming out there, which couldn't be more wrong.
> They will eventually get bored and trade upYeah they will. They will try to "upgrade" or if they stay with their current partner, they will cheat. However, women tend to be more forgiving about it because boys will be boys, right xD
> Men are slaves to biological instinctYou could argue we all are to a certain point, it's just that men applaud themselves no matter what, the women on the other hand will be the eternal culprit.
You don't have to agree with me, these are merely the observations I got from seeing my friends in relationship, hearing about others, hanging out with guys and so on. Girlfriends as time passes by, become prostitutes, mommy v.2 and personal maids to their bfs. Whether what I say is true or not, one will judge on his/her own.
To conclude, I think being an introverted person is an advantage as you are less likely to be under social pressure for trivial matters, and you function better when alone. Therefor, there is no need to distract yourself with energy draining relationships and you can focus on things that matter instead.
No. 141167
>>141166wow
what man hurt u
No. 141177
>>141175Indeed. Men constantly bitch about women on imageboards, actually on the entire internet. Even on unrelated songs or news article that have nothing to do with women specifically there is a guy in a comment section spreading hate on women for I don't know which reasons, yet you can't make a simple observation that no one with a bit of brain can't deny on an imageboard for WOMEN without getting these ridiculous remarks. The points mentioned here
>>141166 aren't even extreme or farfetched.
You would think that anyone that has spent significant time on internet, in particular imageboards, would already know how men resonate.
> bullshit like "T-THIS IS REVERSED REDPILL, UR AS BAD AS A ROBOT, LOL U MANHATER LOSER!!"This so much. I wish they could fuck off to whatever the trashboard they came from.
> Tbh, I wouldn't be surprised that most of /g/ posters are men at this point, specially in this thread.I really do hope it's just men, as there are plenty of women that attentionwhore: "Oh I'm not like those disgusting feminists, I love men!!! you are so superior! Pls let me be your wifey <3 xoxo".
I wonder what would be the female version of whiteknighting? Hmm…
No. 141180
>>141175>>141177This isn't a women only board, nor is it Tumblr 2.0
People are allowed to disagree with you, this site isn't your personal hugbox. Do different opinions really offend you that much?
No. 141181
File: 1475247535517.gif (1.07 MB, 254x254, yoho.gif)
>>141180Yeah really.
>tumblr 2.0That's a good way to describe it. Also I really doubt most of the people on /g/ are boys pretending to be girls. My bf can barely stand when I talk about make up lol why the hell would one pretend to be a girl to talk about stuff they find boring?
Also, back on topic:
>>141160I hope so. I tried to do the 4chan thing again but it's too full of people in their early twenties and teenagers and I can't do it anymore. I wanna bitch about oldfag stuff. It's just hard to find friends when you get to a certain age. And I do this thing where I really WANT to be with someone socially but I talk myself out of it and go do stuff by myself instead because it's more comfortable. I hate it sometimes. I hate that people feel like a burden on my time.
No. 141182
>>141180> This isn't a women only board,The name of this board is GIRL talk, fucking retard? Perhaps work on your comprehension skills before commenting?
> People are allowed to disagree with you, this site isn't your personal hugboxIt's not my jimmies being rustled here. I just stated I was surprised with such a negative feedback from a personal observation. Jeez, like kys
>>38560> Cancer. Please pay for my chemocringe
> Some men are shit, yeah, for sure, not all. 'No men can feel love' Nigga what.Huh talking about a safe space, can it get through your thick skull that maybe, just maybe it's an observation? Like kys stupid cunt.
No. 141188
>>141187If you think that imageboard users are the stereotypical basement dweller losers, that's far from the truth. Imageboards are quite mainstream and if you lurk there enough, you'll notice that they represent people from all walks of life. For the record I don't hate men, nor do I have any grand illusions of some "sisterhood" or matriarchy that rules supreme, I was just saying that love that is sold by the industry, with a good reason since it's profitable, is a myth. No wonder so many people get depressed today being sold madeup pictures and stories. For introverts, their self dependence should help them in avoiding that trap.
The point of my post was to advise a particular anon and that's all there is to it. Don't follow the advise, fine by me. I wasn't expecting so many butthurt replies lol
No. 141192
>>141191>>141189There's nothing wrong with dressing up alone, if you have lots of kids in your area you could dress yourself and the house and put some joy into the world by being a great mark for Treak'or'Treaters.
Or just romance yourself in a seasonal way. Bake some themed snacks and eat them in the bath with a classic Halloween film, a spooky bathbomb and some wine. But if you're not into it, don't feel shamed into feeling like you should be.
No. 141194
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I decided to be proactive and invited a few friends over to my house for a Halloween party. I planned this over a month ahead but I'm still getting nervous. This is my first time hosting a party besides a birthday party. When should I ask for final +1 notice and how do I organize what they should bring? I just hope I don't bore them with my soirée.
No. 141196
>>141194I feel for you anon. Event planning for work is fun to me but parties for home is an anxiety nightmare waiting to happen. I'm always afraid no one will show up.
I'd say the weekend prior ask them if they're coming and if they'll be bringing anyone else. If you're able to sometimes doing an event through Facebook or Evite can help to keep it organized as well as let you know how many will attend. But if you use it I would send it out between now and no later than two weeks before the party. For a Halloween party I would ask people to being booze. Food is easy to procure but it always seems like booze runs out the fastest and then you have to make a run in the middle of the party.
No. 141200
>>141197I totally feel the same anon: I'm now in my second year of university and totally failed in making any friends. I was not very popular to begin with in high school, but I had at least a few friends.
I just feel so insecure, everybody else around me is having fun and I'm always home alone…
In the beginning I really tried to talk to people, despite being shy, but for some reason everybody avoids me.
No. 141201
>>141199 We used to have get-togethers but once everyone started going to college they went from us meeting up to hang out and cook/play videogames/watch movies to sitting in a barn watching the guys play beer pong and smoke weed. If I tried making plans they'd either be forgotten or they couldn't afford to go, like spending $30 on a bus trip.
The one who kept contact with me was an older friend who was a lot of fun to be with, and he along with his boyfriend had jobs so we all had the money to go out to eat or have fun. Things got pretty
problematic with family drama (for all of us) and we eventually just got too caught up in our jobs to hang out.
Now I'm back in school but I'm really quiet and keep killing conversations because I can barely converse anymore.
No. 141202
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Well I don't have many friends only about 4. But the lack of friends is not why the main reason I'm posting. The reason I'm posting is because I want to know why I hate people touching me. Its weird I don't like anyone touching me not even my family. I hate it I would rather they just ignore me then touch me. I want to know why this is its not like i was abused or anything. So any ideas why I'm like this /g/??
No. 141203
>>141003Badly.
I try so hard to connect with people at work but I come off as jittery and weird. I want to hang out with a girl outside of work because I can tell she's as nervous and awkward as I am but I'm not sure how that would even go.
I wish every day felt like I took two valiums, that's the only time I've ever felt comfortable in my life.
No. 141204
>>141003I don't have any severe or crippling problems with socializing, I may have a bit of generalized anxiety when pushed into random social settings but I just really can't hold on to friends.
Every semester at uni I make at least a handful of friends from tutorial sessions, lectures, classes and labs, some I really like hanging with to study and to work with in lab but I just don't have the balls to invite them anywhere or to initiate anything further than "business friendship." Only one girl I've known this semester has bothered contacting me to keep in touch long term I was sooo hyped by this, it didn't surprise me too much since we had some deep conversations in class and had a decent chunk of things in common our relationship felt a bit more personal. I have some numbers on my phone and I really want to invite some of the people I've met to the movies or something but I just can't work up the strength for it. I'm going to force myself to, i'm done worrying about rejection the only way I see through this is to force myself out of my comfort zone.
>>141200I'm joining a club next semester probably the sports club, you should join one too it will force you into socializing more, being exposed to more social settings will up your chances of making friends. Well that's hopefully the plan anyway…
No. 141205
introversion is powerful, you fucking faggot.
introverts are thinkers. they're also hunters. i should tell you i'm a dude at this point and the things i say may not apply to you women who for some reason all have low confidence.
it's different than shyness, which i'm sure has already been said in this thread. shyness is having anxiety about social interaction, introversion is how you prefer to spend your energy.
if i'm around people too long, i get drained. i have to go away.
if i get a lot of time alone, i can recharge. i especially like voice chats like skype, mumble, ventrilo, discord, et cetera. with those clients, i can choose when i talk. it's easy to pretend i'm not there.
i also prefer talking to people in writing. i like to keep in touch with my family by emailing them. NOT THAT THEY EVER FUCKING RESPOND.
unfortunately, introversion is associated with stupidity or shyness or whatever, while extroversion is associated with apparent intelligence. nonsense, of course.
if we're going to go full blown MBTI, everybody has an introverted aspect to them. for example, i have extroverted thinking, which means i can extrovert about rational thoughts: labeling, categorizing, identifying, planning, etc. i can talk at length about something i understand, or i can ask you a shitload of questions.
my primary function is introverted intuition, which is pretty hard to understand, but basically i live in the world like a stalking cat. you know, being withdrawn, having fluid movements, quiet, high situational awareness, and whipping out my rationality when you least expect it. women tend to think of me as the strong silent type, but it's really just that i don't feel like expressing myself often, and don't see the need.
No. 141207
>>141202are you highly sensitive to touch? if we were fucking and i pulled your hair, would it make you completely limp?
if so, it could just be that you're easily stimulated by touch, and anyone who stimulates you without your permission gets interpreted as a violator.
there are many people who communicate by touch a lot, which would piss me off, too. the fastest way to make me say rude shit to you is by putting your hand on my shoulder while you're saying shit to me that i consider stupid.
on the other hand, if the same person touched someone else's shoulder, that might make them relax, drop their guard.
some people might assume you'll feel better if someone gave you a nice big hug.
i'm not a touchy-feely person, but i knew a girl who had to give me a long, extended hug every time i met up with her in person. after a while i figured out it was because she liked that i was taller, denser than she was. i'm actually obese, but to her it was like…a comfy iron maiden.
No. 141211
>>141203Same.
Otherwise I'm fine, but I tried too hard to make friends in college and as a result most of my class thinks I'm annoying or autistic. I only managed to befriend people outside of class who don't know that everyone is for some reason weirded/grossed out by me.
Some people are really weird, they act all friendly and when I get close to them they flat out tell me 'I want to be alone, leave me be', or 'I don't like talking in the morning, be quiet' yet they act all close and like I'm their best friend otherwise. Some of them just avoid me and never speak to me first unless they have to. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I've tried to talk to people but they avoid me, when I don't do anything they say 'we thought you preferred being alone so we didn't talk to you'. At this point idec. If they can't decide, I'll decide for them and stop associating with anybody from there, end of.
Right now I'm fine being alone.
No. 141213
>>141197I'm in a similar situation. I never had many friend at highschool to begin with but I had those 4 or 5 friends I would hang out with everyday. I never lost contact with them "formally" after hs but they got new friends at university/work so they kind of left me behind. And it wasn't really because I didn't try, I used to try to invite them to hand out, they just said they couldn't only to hang out with their new friends. It hurts and it made me stop trying to reconnect with them.
I got a some friends at university but now that we graduated, we all live scattered along the country and we rarely meet as everybody's busy.
I'm currently unemployed after working in retail and it sucks because I want connections, I need connections but I can't seem to have the ability to make them. And the fact that I spend almost all my day at home (only go out to job stuff) doesn't really help me.
No. 141215
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I'm such an idiot oh my god.
I'm pretty sure two people tried to start a friendship with me but I'm an awkward idiot so wtf-ever.
I was at a thrift store looking through the clothes, and this girl was making friendly chat like, "have you found anything good?" I said it was the first time I was at this store and she was like, me too! And She asked if I'm from around there and I said I just moved, etc., she just did too, so on, some more chatter. But I can't keep a conversation going because I'm me so that's that.
Then last night I was walking home, and I heard some (decent) music being played really loudly. I started following it and saw there was a band outside this barber shop/tattoo parlor playing. So I stood around for a half hour until they ended, and there was a girl next to me who was definitely reaching out and being friendly and asking questions and stuff, but I am me and even though I knew exactly what was going on, I can't put myself out there, even for friends.
I haven't had a friend in so long, I just, it's difficult to let it happen.
No. 141217
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>>141197>>141213Really similar as well
I haven't had a real life friend in five years and i never have the chance to meet anyone because i'm unemployed and live in the middle of nowhere.
Last year i tried to contact my 3 best friends but only one of the really cared after the first sentences and we haven't talked since.
I was curiously looking through facebook pictures today and i came across a recent group photo of my old friends and it kind of hit me how lonely i am.
No. 141220
>>141219Iktf.
I had a good friend who was always 'busy' whenever I wanted to talk to her on Facebook, not even irl. She never once attempted to contact me on her own, it was always me who initiated every single conversation.
Then I just gave up, obviously she's too busy to be friends in the first place so w/e.