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No. 139036
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I would go back at the end of high school and choose not to go in such a far away town on my own, I would choose to stay a little longer with my parents, work on my mental health, make money by working with my dad in our little shop, and just enjoy a little longer the peacefulness of my little town.
I would start doing sport a lot earlier and choose a good field to study.
Maybe I wouldn't be a depressed school dropout if I could change all that.
I would also prevent myself from burning so many bridges, I'm so sad that I've lost so many relationships.
I would try to be more loving towards my parents and communicate a lot more with them, I would try to get my mother on therapy too.
No. 139037
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>>139028Are you me?
I'm always fantasising about going back in time to ,,fix myself''.I would go back to when I was 8 and not let anxiety/depression get the best of me,I wouldn't let the endless circle of procrastination start,I would learn well in school,espacially math that's the thing I regret not learning the most.Although I'm only 19,I feel as if I have no hope and my life is pretty much done.But maybe it's all my fault in the end,maybe even if I had the opportunity to go back in time I would still do the same.
No. 139040
>>139037Anon from
>>139028 here. We are basically the same person, including the endless cycle of procrastination that has only gotten worse with time and the regret of not having studied math.
:(
I would give up EVERYTHING to be able to go back in time and fix things.
No. 139041
>>13903719 is so young, your life is not over at all, and your life wouldn't be over even if you were 30 yrs old or 45 yrs old, your life is over when you decide that nothing more can be done.
So many people are struggling with the idea that they can't go any further than the point they are right now.
I wish you the best, and I hope one day we can read those shitty lolcow threads and laugh at how petty we were and how stupid our fear were.
No. 139043
>>139039Thanks for the reply and positive perspective anon.My parents suggested I should see a psychologist two months ago so I did.I've been to 4 psychotherapy sessions since than and I can say it made me even more depressed because I realised how truly fucked up I am,but maybe that's the first step to getting better.All these years I've been hiding from my feelings,not expressing them.It hit me quite hard beacuse I came to the conclusion I've been depressed since I was only 8 years old and damn that's a long time.I hate talking about my feelings because it drains me off.My psychologist said I should see a psychiatrsit for my final diagnosis,I'm going to see one in a few weeks and I'm super nervous about that and I'll probably be put on some sort of medication,I'm quite skeptical about this sort of medication because of the side effects.
I can't truly enjoy my age because I have problems socialising,I have 0 self esteem and I'm extremely anxious,can't form bonds with others,I have paranoid thoughts.While I'm writing this I realise that's probably why I have no hope and feel so old,I'm emotionally and mentally fucked from an abusive childhood/child neglect plus the pathology(my mom has undiagnosed mental issues,she's completely delusional and socially avoidant,has paranoid toughts) I'm always scared of going crazy.All of this plus the fact that I had the bad luck to live in a country where mental health is bad implemented and a new thing.Most people don't think mental problems are real.I was impressed when my dad and grandparents/aunt suggested I should see a psychologist,even if we didn't have the best relationship over the years,they opened up so much to me and I truly feel loved and suported,they try so hard to make me feel better I kind of feel bad I don't.
>>139040It sucks because I have limited options for uni/job since I don't know math.I also realised my thinking is analytical/logical so maybe I would have been good at math.I remember before my depression kicked in math was my favourite subject,the one I found the most intriguing.
>>139041I know physically I'm young,but mentally/emotionally I'm lost and even if I go further it will always be similar.I don't think my fears are stupid,every fear has cause.
(sorry for weird english)
No. 139045
>>139044Worked
* damn you autocorrect, ha-ha. Plus with all of the stress I find myself coping by eating and I've gained so much weight lol. I think I should probably go to therapy or something to have someone to talk to but sometimes starting threads like this and listening to others, it's sad that we are going through this but it's nice to know you're not alone, like there's nothing wrong with you, you know? Everyone has bad times in their lives. Nice to be able to vent about it.
No. 139049
>>139046Ha-ha I'm trying!!! Kinda hard tho sometimes, just know if I finish it I'll get a better chance at better paying jobs.
>>139047Some people honestly think everything happens for a reason. Sometimes even that philosophy is hard to live by but sometimes I think if I never went through the stuff I did I wouldn't have been at the right place and the right time to meet my boyfriend, it's all about circumstances I guess.
No. 139051
>>139047Agreed, it's a thinly veiled attempt for people to blog
Now for my blog: I would probably only change 2 things, because any other 'horrible' experiences were still things which I feel I can eventually overcome and so that's ok I guess
1. Don't date my abusive ex. Perhaps I would just date another abusive guy down the line eventually though?
2. Pick different college topics. I carry around so much self hate for failing all because I stacked my plate too high.
No. 139056
I'd go back but only if I knew certain things. Stay away from mom's gossiping to preserve my childhood innocence, lock my rook whenever Peter came around, beg everyone around me to go to counseling for my dads passing because my mother sure as hell wouldnt listen, be nice, be loyal, differentiate between real friends and friends that are only good to be around for a little while, put myself out there constantly, do well in school, stay away from a certain boy on a certain social media site who fucked me up completely without even trying/beig aware, don't cut, work out more often, eat better, keep my cardio level up, make sure id get therapy as soon as i got back home from my exchange program when I was 15, gey a job, etc. I'd go back with all that on a list I guess. There is so much I would change. In a way I'm excited for the futute and changing but at the same time I dont want certain people around me to change, which is selfish. Wish i wasnt like that.
No. 139069
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>>139027I want to go back to my childhood.
I wouldn't change anything. I just want to spend more time with my parents and actually enjoy being a careless child.
No. 139072
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With all the knowledge I have now?
I'd go back to basically birth take much more advantage of being young and cute, as well as knowing as much as a 18 year old as a child. Be a child genius, and could probably steal a couple of inventions.
Tell my family to invest in Apple.
Skip my emo phase.
Get better at drawing.
Not read in the dark.
Learn as many languages as possible from a very early age, etc etc.
It's basically my dream to go back and change my future, because I'm scared for my current one.
No. 139074
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I'd go back to when I was five years old. I would spend the next three years flying to murrica and trying to stop 9/11 and other bad happenings as a child psychic.
..Or I'd just learn a lot of stuff I'm interested in at a very young age, so I can get a job I actually love. Now it's too late for that.
No. 139076
>>139073>>139072It would be really interesting to see how puberty hormones would mess with this.
Although we're already running into problems here since I guess to have your memories you would need the same adult brain you have now so no funny second puberty hijinks and no youthful brain plasticity.
Not that I actually know any of this stuff, I've just watched too much tv.
No. 139080
1) Date a few women before settling down with my bf. I love him but it's forever going to eat at me that I never got to explore my sexuality and he doesn't give a shit now.
2) Get help for depression way earlier. Should have gotten it as a child. It probably would have stopped a whole chain of horrible events including me putting up with shitty friends, years of self harm, gaining weight due to comfort eating, going out more and being less sheltered…
3) Just followed my dreams and stop trying to please other people. I should have stuck with the subjects I liked in school instead of taking the advice of teachers who told me I would literally amount to nothing. I should have painted, written poetry, learn to code, start a youtube channel…whatever as long as I wasn't doing it just to please people who literally didn't give a shit about me anyway.
I feel like I really wasted my teen years. If there are any teens reading this, use the opportunity to go wild and experiment and discover who you are. Don't let mental illness hold you back, you can get help for that. You'll never get those years back and trust me, as weird as it feels to be "different" and "rebellious" when you're in school, it's 1000 times weirder when you attempt to go through that phase in your 20s.
No. 139082
>>139081It's so funny how as I was typing that it felt like such an obvious thing. Like I had heard it a million times when I was younger and it just didn't resonate with me until I had gotten older.
I'm still the same now myself but the difference being that I have better friends and I don't have to put up with the really intense atmosphere/shitty underpaid teachers that I had in school. The people you surround yourself with make all the difference.
No. 139086
>>139085I feel this. My mother always acts like she knows everything there is to know about the world and I used to trust her with my life. She'd always talk shit about others and say how stupid they are and then I moved away from home and realised just how disgustingly sheltered I was. Her advice ended up being the opposite of the best thing to do and she STILL gets upset when I refuse to listen to her. She's just convinced she's the smartest person ever.
If I'd listened to my dad and aunt I would've been so much better adjusted.
No. 139088
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Couldn't find a more relevant thread to post this, and I don't wanna make a new thread.
Do you guys think it's pathetic for a 27 year old to still be daydreaming about when their life will begin? to still be in the same place they were when they were 22 and 17 with no change? to still have no direction in life? Still have dreams like going to Japan or something that would be trivial to an adult with their shit together? Basically be an adult teenager?
I'm kind of on the fence between "this is pathetic and sad" and "this is still acceptable as long as you're under 30"
be honest. this isn't me, so no feelings will be hurt.
No. 139089
>>139088I feel like this all the time and we're basically the same age (I'm 25). I have a lot of things I want to do but I feel that I'll be too old when I can finally do them, if I ever will. But I also feel that "if I'm under 30 is okay" thing.
About time, I would come back to my childhood. I would like to be the extroverted kid I was back then in order to make friends. 2009 was also a really shit time so I'd come back there just to avoid making the same decisions I did back then.
No. 139091
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>>139090sounds like you've completely given up, but honestly i think it's never too late to do anything as long as you're not dead (except for age related things like being an idoru lol)
i use quotes from diet sites and just imagine them used for my situation as motivators, pic related.
No. 139092
>>139088yes, it is pathetic!!! although global economic circumstances etc. have changed, i'd guess a majority of 27-year-olds historically have been financially independent. it is not okay to be 27 and living with your parents imo. it is not okay to have no plan and constantly rely on others' resources.
27-year-olds nowadays say shit like "i can't have new experiences bc i'm broke" and then go and buy the new ps4 console or eat fast food every day. that's a life going absolutely nowhere.
No. 139093
Anon from
>>139028 here, holy shit so much has changed in the past seven months.
Maybe this will help someone: go take a trip to a place you've never been. You don't have to break the bank. Bring friends but make sure it's about you. While you're there, do as much as you can and meet as many new people as you can. If it works out for you like it did for me, you'll have a shitton of fun AND you'll see that life could be different, that it doesn't matter if you spent half your life miserable and depressed (like me), things can change.
I took a random trip with a friend not long after I made that post, met a great guy there, and basically got my life back on track after years of NEETdom. Highly recommend. Before I couldn't see how life could possibly be better. Now I know that the world is a big place where great things can happen…if you start making the right choices.
>>139092This is so true.
No. 139096
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i'd probably go back to the time i was 9 and prevent my cousin from drowning, i could've told her not to go out the day she did. feelsbadman