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File: 1460950586222.jpg (95.12 KB, 450x432, clock_explosion_dali_by_t_sha.…)

No. 139027

If you had the ability to go back to a certain time in your life, AND keep the memories of the choices you made in the future (to help influence the decisions you make) would you change anything?

No. 139028

This thread gives me so many feels.

I would literally give a limb to go back to June 2007. That's when my downward spiral into depression, ADHD, anxiety, ED, and self-loathing began. I would prevent myself from making the awful choices that would encourage and exacerbate my natural tendency to those pathologies.

No. 139029

I think I would. I'd go back to when I was graduating college in a horrible crippling depression, in 2013. I'd break up with my then boyfriend RIGHT THEN to the horrible things that followed (suicide attempt)… I would then never have attended this graduate school, which I only did because of aforementioned terrible boyfriend. Everyday is a shameful reminder that I let someone else shape important life decisions…

I'd have met my current beau ASAP and never put him through any of the things we had to suffer through because of crazy boyfriend.

Doing these things I think would make me, current day, so much happier and with 50% less debt…

No. 139030

I would go back in time to choose a private university over a public one. Even though the school I'm at now is ranked higher, there are fewer resources and the professors really don't care about the students. I think I would wind up a lot happier at an easier, smaller, better-funded university, and maybe I wouldn't have needed to give up on so many of my dreams.

No. 139031

>>139029
also, I'd be able to tell my dad to get screened for cancer sooner.

No. 139032

I would be tempted to go back to the beginning of high school and take it more seriously, but I wouldn't want to go through my parents fighting/divorcing again. I'd go back to my early 20s and quit playing MMOs, not get fat and focus on a career

No. 139033

>>139027
I would go back to when I was 5 years old and just do everything different. I would've treated my grandmother different, I wouldn't have gotten involved with the wrong crowd, I would've taken school more seriously. I'll never forgive myself for letting me spiral down into mental illness, abusive relationships and drugs. I had a bright future ahead of me…

No. 139034

If i could go back in the past id like to just experience the good times of my childhood. Maybe when i was 5/6?

No. 139035

I'd go back to when I was 6 and tell the girl who made me feel like shit for the next 6 years to shove it. If that doesn't stop me from falling into the mental illness spiral then I wouldn't go back in time at all. I don't want to live through the worst of it again.

No. 139036

File: 1460963254449.jpg (39.67 KB, 500x383, time.jpg)

I would go back at the end of high school and choose not to go in such a far away town on my own, I would choose to stay a little longer with my parents, work on my mental health, make money by working with my dad in our little shop, and just enjoy a little longer the peacefulness of my little town.
I would start doing sport a lot earlier and choose a good field to study.
Maybe I wouldn't be a depressed school dropout if I could change all that.
I would also prevent myself from burning so many bridges, I'm so sad that I've lost so many relationships.
I would try to be more loving towards my parents and communicate a lot more with them, I would try to get my mother on therapy too.

No. 139037

File: 1460963530182.jpg (399.25 KB, 1920x1080, maxresdefault.jpg)

>>139028
Are you me?

I'm always fantasising about going back in time to ,,fix myself''.I would go back to when I was 8 and not let anxiety/depression get the best of me,I wouldn't let the endless circle of procrastination start,I would learn well in school,espacially math that's the thing I regret not learning the most.Although I'm only 19,I feel as if I have no hope and my life is pretty much done.But maybe it's all my fault in the end,maybe even if I had the opportunity to go back in time I would still do the same.

No. 139038

I feel like I'm always thinking about this. Sometimes it's just guilty pleasure type stuff ("I could go back in time to high school and totally kick ass and get a ton of scholarships and be really confident and popular!!"). Sometimes it's other stuff, like wishing I could go back to when I was five and was molested so I could bite my cousin's dick off. I think I'd go back to high school, realistically. I spent so much of high school being reserved and suppressed. I could have had a much better time and been a much better person today.

No. 139039

>>139037
I remember feeling the same way as you do when I was 19. I'm turning 26 soon, and I would be lying if I said I never struggle with my mental health anymore, but I did experience a big "shift" both at 22 and at 25. After talking with a lot of people it turns out this is a very normal experience, as your brain develops and your life experiences grow. I would recommend seeking professional help with any mental healt issues, but I guess what I'm trying to say that for a lot of people it does get better. Your priorities and outlook on life will change as you grow, and if I could give one tip to anyone your age it would be to try to enjoy your age, and try to remember that you are still very young! Good luck!

No. 139040

>>139037
Anon from >>139028 here. We are basically the same person, including the endless cycle of procrastination that has only gotten worse with time and the regret of not having studied math.

:(

I would give up EVERYTHING to be able to go back in time and fix things.

No. 139041

>>139037
19 is so young, your life is not over at all, and your life wouldn't be over even if you were 30 yrs old or 45 yrs old, your life is over when you decide that nothing more can be done.
So many people are struggling with the idea that they can't go any further than the point they are right now.
I wish you the best, and I hope one day we can read those shitty lolcow threads and laugh at how petty we were and how stupid our fear were.

No. 139042

I go to sleep fantasising about this almost every night…

And 14. Specifically 14.

No. 139043

>>139039
Thanks for the reply and positive perspective anon.My parents suggested I should see a psychologist two months ago so I did.I've been to 4 psychotherapy sessions since than and I can say it made me even more depressed because I realised how truly fucked up I am,but maybe that's the first step to getting better.All these years I've been hiding from my feelings,not expressing them.It hit me quite hard beacuse I came to the conclusion I've been depressed since I was only 8 years old and damn that's a long time.I hate talking about my feelings because it drains me off.My psychologist said I should see a psychiatrsit for my final diagnosis,I'm going to see one in a few weeks and I'm super nervous about that and I'll probably be put on some sort of medication,I'm quite skeptical about this sort of medication because of the side effects.

I can't truly enjoy my age because I have problems socialising,I have 0 self esteem and I'm extremely anxious,can't form bonds with others,I have paranoid thoughts.While I'm writing this I realise that's probably why I have no hope and feel so old,I'm emotionally and mentally fucked from an abusive childhood/child neglect plus the pathology(my mom has undiagnosed mental issues,she's completely delusional and socially avoidant,has paranoid toughts) I'm always scared of going crazy.All of this plus the fact that I had the bad luck to live in a country where mental health is bad implemented and a new thing.Most people don't think mental problems are real.I was impressed when my dad and grandparents/aunt suggested I should see a psychologist,even if we didn't have the best relationship over the years,they opened up so much to me and I truly feel loved and suported,they try so hard to make me feel better I kind of feel bad I don't.

>>139040
It sucks because I have limited options for uni/job since I don't know math.I also realised my thinking is analytical/logical so maybe I would have been good at math.I remember before my depression kicked in math was my favourite subject,the one I found the most intriguing.

>>139041
I know physically I'm young,but mentally/emotionally I'm lost and even if I go further it will always be similar.I don't think my fears are stupid,every fear has cause.

(sorry for weird english)

No. 139044

Anon who started this thread. Guess I'm a shit for not posting mine, eh? I do feel for all of you, I've made a lot of stupid decisions in my life as well, so now my adult life is just that much more difficult.

If I could go back I would have worled harder in high school and not skipped class with the druggies to be "cool".

My dad (who turned out to be an abusive fuck) took me out of school because he said "I wasnt going anywhere anyways skipping class" to work as his mule for his "family run company" we didn't make any money and I rarely got paid. I had to run away from home at 23 and I was homeless for two years, ha-ha. I found my way back to my hometown and get by on minimum wage, but God do I wish I finished high school. I'm trying to complete it online but I work so much I barely have time to.

Then again I guess at 14 you can't really distinguish wether or not someone you're supposed to trust your life with doesn't turn out to be an asshole.

No. 139045

>>139044

Worked* damn you autocorrect, ha-ha. Plus with all of the stress I find myself coping by eating and I've gained so much weight lol. I think I should probably go to therapy or something to have someone to talk to but sometimes starting threads like this and listening to others, it's sad that we are going through this but it's nice to know you're not alone, like there's nothing wrong with you, you know? Everyone has bad times in their lives. Nice to be able to vent about it.

No. 139046

>>139044
That shit sounds rough anon. Hope you manage to finish high school!

No. 139047

Would there be a single person who would answer no? Stupid question really.

No. 139048

>>139033
This is exactly what I was going to say… I always hope that when I die I'll get another chance

No. 139049

>>139046

Ha-ha I'm trying!!! Kinda hard tho sometimes, just know if I finish it I'll get a better chance at better paying jobs.

>>139047

Some people honestly think everything happens for a reason. Sometimes even that philosophy is hard to live by but sometimes I think if I never went through the stuff I did I wouldn't have been at the right place and the right time to meet my boyfriend, it's all about circumstances I guess.

No. 139050

I fantasise about this all the time.

I would go back to the time of my birth. Do every single thing over again.

No. 139051

>>139047
Agreed, it's a thinly veiled attempt for people to blog

Now for my blog: I would probably only change 2 things, because any other 'horrible' experiences were still things which I feel I can eventually overcome and so that's ok I guess

1. Don't date my abusive ex. Perhaps I would just date another abusive guy down the line eventually though?

2. Pick different college topics. I carry around so much self hate for failing all because I stacked my plate too high.

No. 139052

>>139027
Everytime I decide to cut my own hair.

No. 139053

I really hate dwelling on the past but I do it all the damn time.

No. 139054

>>139033
same though for me the turning point would be age 10.

No. 139055

Fuck yeah I would. I would go back in time to quit the abusive relationship I've been stuck in for years and can't get out of due to a number of factors. It's honestly the only thing that I regret every day. Every other mistake I can live with.

No. 139056

I'd go back but only if I knew certain things. Stay away from mom's gossiping to preserve my childhood innocence, lock my rook whenever Peter came around, beg everyone around me to go to counseling for my dads passing because my mother sure as hell wouldnt listen, be nice, be loyal, differentiate between real friends and friends that are only good to be around for a little while, put myself out there constantly, do well in school, stay away from a certain boy on a certain social media site who fucked me up completely without even trying/beig aware, don't cut, work out more often, eat better, keep my cardio level up, make sure id get therapy as soon as i got back home from my exchange program when I was 15, gey a job, etc. I'd go back with all that on a list I guess. There is so much I would change. In a way I'm excited for the futute and changing but at the same time I dont want certain people around me to change, which is selfish. Wish i wasnt like that.

No. 139057

I would basically take back the eating disorder and substance abuse/alcoholism. I never grew up properly and its fucking debilitating.

No. 139058

Start using sunscreen daily at a much earlier age.

I had a relatively normal high school experience, but fuck going through that all over again despite whatever regrets I have.

No. 139059

I would go back to the summer before 6th grade and try not to be so fucking autistic for the next four years.

No. 139060

I would go back to just before I was about to start this shitty college degree I'm stuck on and I'd get a fucking job.

I have no idea if my life now would be better or worse but I at least would have experience and some actual money saved.

No. 139061

I would go back to Highschool and start from Junior year again. I would try to fix my family issues and just live my life mostly the same(minor differences would be based on what I know now, so immediately choosing my major instead of shopping around, staying away from people I don't like, etc.)

My family issues made me lose like 3 years of University and none of it was even related to me, it was just family bullshit that I got sucked in to. If I could stop or just get it mostly gone it'd be amazing.

No. 139062

Go back to 8th grade and not befriend someone I thought I could be nice to. Ended up being used by them and kinda agreed with everything she said just to have a "friend". Being so retarded and naive like that irks me. I'd also fix the death of someone i cared about deeply but sometimes i worry if that's foolish to think.

No. 139063

I would go back to the 7th grade. Start watching Anime and reading Manga more. I probably would have discovered lolita fashion earlier too. Go to Anime Conventions at an earlier age. Read more novels. Try to get better grades in school (ended up with a 3.72 GPA overall). I would have studied harder for the ACT & SAT. I would have applied to Carnegie-Mellon, Case Western, Notre Dame, Syracuse, UChicago, and other private schools for my undergraduate degree (I love UChicago's campus and the people that go there). I felt out of place going to a public, state university. Buy all the dream dresses that I am now trying to search aggressively when they were first released.

No. 139064

I'd be more outgoing and bold and make more friends and burn less bridges. The people in my hometown were horrible, basic cunts so I'd try to blend in more and be less of a weeb.

I'd also stop attempting to fix my wardrobe before planning it out thoroughly. So much money spent on ugly shit just because I needed it 'now' and nothing better had come up.

No. 139065

>>139063
….this is like everything someone should go back in time to avoid. Your future sounds bleak, anon.

No. 139066

i wish i took more advantage of scholarships available to undergrad students. my parents always made me feel like i cant do anything because of money, so i never really tried to do anything new or exciting. i wish i had studied abroad or something. yea sure i can go travel now as an adult but idk i feel like i missed a good experience

No. 139067

>>139065
maybe anon had a really normie childhood and worked a lot so she didn't have much time to have fun.

No. 139068

>>139063
>Start watching Anime and reading Manga more. I probably would have discovered lolita fashion earlier too.

NO

No. 139069

File: 1466352959611.gif (1.73 MB, 500x280, 1458647742428.gif)

>>139027
I want to go back to my childhood.
I wouldn't change anything. I just want to spend more time with my parents and actually enjoy being a careless child.

No. 139070

I would go back to when I was 9, and call the cops on my father and have him go to jail, before he could start abusing me and force me to make choices I didn't want to make. (He had drugs in his possession and an illegal handgun, so he would've gone to jail).

No. 139071

>>139069
Same. But I kinda also want to be the little boy I never was. Still, being boobless and hipless again would rock.

No. 139072

File: 1466430857317.gif (1.42 MB, 500x281, image.gif)

With all the knowledge I have now?
I'd go back to basically birth take much more advantage of being young and cute, as well as knowing as much as a 18 year old as a child. Be a child genius, and could probably steal a couple of inventions.
Tell my family to invest in Apple.
Skip my emo phase.
Get better at drawing.
Not read in the dark.
Learn as many languages as possible from a very early age, etc etc.

It's basically my dream to go back and change my future, because I'm scared for my current one.

No. 139073

>>139072
I'd do something similar. I would take advantage of any future knowledge I have to try and set myself and my parents up for a wonderful life. I'd skip over the angsty shit and focus on studying so I could get a job that pays a ton. I'd save myself from so much heartbreak too and stay away from all the people who betrayed me. Maybe then I wouldn't grow up to be a miserable alcoholic.

No. 139074

File: 1466467328992.png (110.15 KB, 500x500, 1456185099843.png)

I'd go back to when I was five years old. I would spend the next three years flying to murrica and trying to stop 9/11 and other bad happenings as a child psychic.

..Or I'd just learn a lot of stuff I'm interested in at a very young age, so I can get a job I actually love. Now it's too late for that.

No. 139075

1. back when I was 12 (or about to turn 12) because I had an experience I feel changed my personality for the worst. or
2. Back to 2011 Because that's when I moved back into my country. No specific reason other than I would have technical knowledge and would be able to breeze through college, no shit about failing a course or anything.

No. 139076

>>139073
>>139072
It would be really interesting to see how puberty hormones would mess with this.
Although we're already running into problems here since I guess to have your memories you would need the same adult brain you have now so no funny second puberty hijinks and no youthful brain plasticity.
Not that I actually know any of this stuff, I've just watched too much tv.

No. 139077

I would go back to the womb and make sure my mom dies on the way out

No. 139078

>>139077
Jesus christ

No. 139079

I would have been better to him…I still regret what I did and I miss him

No. 139080

1) Date a few women before settling down with my bf. I love him but it's forever going to eat at me that I never got to explore my sexuality and he doesn't give a shit now.

2) Get help for depression way earlier. Should have gotten it as a child. It probably would have stopped a whole chain of horrible events including me putting up with shitty friends, years of self harm, gaining weight due to comfort eating, going out more and being less sheltered…

3) Just followed my dreams and stop trying to please other people. I should have stuck with the subjects I liked in school instead of taking the advice of teachers who told me I would literally amount to nothing. I should have painted, written poetry, learn to code, start a youtube channel…whatever as long as I wasn't doing it just to please people who literally didn't give a shit about me anyway.


I feel like I really wasted my teen years. If there are any teens reading this, use the opportunity to go wild and experiment and discover who you are. Don't let mental illness hold you back, you can get help for that. You'll never get those years back and trust me, as weird as it feels to be "different" and "rebellious" when you're in school, it's 1000 times weirder when you attempt to go through that phase in your 20s.

No. 139081

>>139080

> Just followed my dreams and stop trying to please other people


Same here. Had I done that, I'd be a much happier person and probably have a better sense of direction. At least I'm working on all that now but it still bothers me how I let myself be pushed around.

No. 139082

>>139081
It's so funny how as I was typing that it felt like such an obvious thing. Like I had heard it a million times when I was younger and it just didn't resonate with me until I had gotten older.

I'm still the same now myself but the difference being that I have better friends and I don't have to put up with the really intense atmosphere/shitty underpaid teachers that I had in school. The people you surround yourself with make all the difference.

No. 139083

I'd probably go back to when I was 5 and stay far away from the person who sexually abused me. but maybe that is selfish, because then he wouldn't have gotten caught and could have hurt more children.

No. 139084

I would have never dropped out of school. I would have told a teacher or anyone really, that I was molested multiple times in school. I would have told myself that depression & shitty friends don't last forever. I would of stayed as a straight A student instead of completely flunking. I would have done so much more, I had opportunities flying at me & I took none of them. I would have kept drawing & I only stopped because I was told I sucked at it. I would have told myself to eat because starving yourself isnt worth it. I'd give anything in the world to have a second chance because I've taken so many things for granted.

No. 139085

I wouldn't have listened to my parents like I did. I feel like a lot of the shit I'm dealing with now is due to then giving me absolutely horrible advice.

No. 139086

>>139085
I feel this. My mother always acts like she knows everything there is to know about the world and I used to trust her with my life. She'd always talk shit about others and say how stupid they are and then I moved away from home and realised just how disgustingly sheltered I was. Her advice ended up being the opposite of the best thing to do and she STILL gets upset when I refuse to listen to her. She's just convinced she's the smartest person ever.
If I'd listened to my dad and aunt I would've been so much better adjusted.

No. 139087

>>139085
It's funny, I always have been some sort of rebel without a cause and liked doing exactly what people told me not to because I want to see what happened. I never followed my parents' advice and I think it was all for good. They had a fucked up relationship and view on life.

No. 139088

File: 1479942715635.jpg (45.34 KB, 728x546, aid1354633-728px.jpg)

Couldn't find a more relevant thread to post this, and I don't wanna make a new thread.

Do you guys think it's pathetic for a 27 year old to still be daydreaming about when their life will begin? to still be in the same place they were when they were 22 and 17 with no change? to still have no direction in life? Still have dreams like going to Japan or something that would be trivial to an adult with their shit together? Basically be an adult teenager?

I'm kind of on the fence between "this is pathetic and sad" and "this is still acceptable as long as you're under 30"

be honest. this isn't me, so no feelings will be hurt.

No. 139089

>>139088
I feel like this all the time and we're basically the same age (I'm 25). I have a lot of things I want to do but I feel that I'll be too old when I can finally do them, if I ever will. But I also feel that "if I'm under 30 is okay" thing.

About time, I would come back to my childhood. I would like to be the extroverted kid I was back then in order to make friends. 2009 was also a really shit time so I'd come back there just to avoid making the same decisions I did back then.

No. 139091

File: 1479992041278.png (682.52 KB, 910x608, tumblr_lpmq1dxX5q1qgz6q0o1_128…)

>>139090
sounds like you've completely given up, but honestly i think it's never too late to do anything as long as you're not dead (except for age related things like being an idoru lol)

i use quotes from diet sites and just imagine them used for my situation as motivators, pic related.

No. 139092

>>139088
yes, it is pathetic!!! although global economic circumstances etc. have changed, i'd guess a majority of 27-year-olds historically have been financially independent. it is not okay to be 27 and living with your parents imo. it is not okay to have no plan and constantly rely on others' resources.

27-year-olds nowadays say shit like "i can't have new experiences bc i'm broke" and then go and buy the new ps4 console or eat fast food every day. that's a life going absolutely nowhere.

No. 139093

Anon from >>139028 here, holy shit so much has changed in the past seven months.

Maybe this will help someone: go take a trip to a place you've never been. You don't have to break the bank. Bring friends but make sure it's about you. While you're there, do as much as you can and meet as many new people as you can. If it works out for you like it did for me, you'll have a shitton of fun AND you'll see that life could be different, that it doesn't matter if you spent half your life miserable and depressed (like me), things can change.

I took a random trip with a friend not long after I made that post, met a great guy there, and basically got my life back on track after years of NEETdom. Highly recommend. Before I couldn't see how life could possibly be better. Now I know that the world is a big place where great things can happen…if you start making the right choices.

>>139092
This is so true.

No. 139095

I would go back to when I was 13 and stay friends with the normie girls I used to hang out with.
They were bitches to me so I ditched them but I know they are all still friends now so I feel like I missed out on having a dumb teenage group of best friends to talk about boys and makeup instead of pretending I was gay for 6 years.

No. 139096

File: 1480286816288.png (76.03 KB, 741x289, sadtimesman.png)

i'd probably go back to the time i was 9 and prevent my cousin from drowning, i could've told her not to go out the day she did. feelsbadman

No. 139097

>>139096
Holy fuck anon I'm so sorry for your loss that's so shitty. I hope you can eventually find peace and know there was no way you could have known :(



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