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No. 136630
>>136625I was. I wasn't really allowed to go out and I wasn't allowed to walk everywhere, they drove me (and it irritated me because they insisted on pretty much dropping me off at the door for wherever I was going even if it was a pain because of traffic, sometimes it would have been so much easier to get dropped off a block away and walk but nope). Anyway, this definitely contributed to my being sort of anxious and feeling out of sorts doing "adult" things. I will say though, I never struggled doing said adult things, I was raised to be responsible, but it's just an odd feeling.
Also my only move of "independence" was to move in with my bf right away.
Anyway OP you don't seem to be doing terribly. At least you're going somewhere, and not everyone moves out right away at 18, if anything that's a bit more uncommon now.
No. 136632
>>136625Anon you have nothing to worry about. My brother went to college while living at home. He didn't move out till his mid 20's so he could save up for a place after college and he's doing perfectly fine. A lot of people live at home while going to college so you aren't a late bloomer at all.
>>136630My parents did, and still do, what yours did with the whole care thing. Back in high school, even if my sister and I were together, we had to be dropped of EXACTLY at the front door cause "dangers" or whatever.
My mom found out I walk back to my college dorm alone at night a lot and she nearly freaked and said I should find someone willing to escort me home. Her reasons were because I'm small and she worries all the time about people coming after me. She's crazy overprotective. She didn't shelter me but she's just paranoid and super protective. She means well but she's learning she can't keep me protected all the time.
No. 136635
File: 1476411537579.jpg (8.01 KB, 250x201, kot.jpg)
>no license
>pay for my car and insurance soon
>car
No. 136639
>>13662520 really isn't bad if you're living with your parents. At least in the states it's not until around 24-25 it becomes socially expected of you to have moved out, but even then if you and your family are fine with it, who cares.
Honestly, since you go to school and have a job you're already ahead of a lot of my friends that are 20 & still living like it's summer break. Learn to cook maybe 5 staple meals, learn how to pay a bill (if you don't already), & practice scheduling things/ making plans/ traveling (even just to a neighboring city) on your own.
I have the opposite problem as far as sheltered-ness; my parents didn't really mind whatever I did as long as they knew (or assumed) I was safe. The main things that made me feel ""adult"" in the last 2 years were traveling out of country by myself, learning how to get home from any given location in my city by train/bus,setting up my own bank account, & watching the house for my mom when she was out of town for 3 weeks.
To be honest anon, you don't sound too bad off. Having a job & attending classes are really good. Moving out is terrifying for anyone if it's their first time- maybe think about moving somewhere not far from your parents so if you ever need them, they aren't across the country.
No. 136642
File: 1476752617498.gif (2.73 MB, 359x202, 45435346.gif)
I was a little overly sheltered as a kid, but I think the main issue that delayed adulthood for me was being a caregiver for a long time.
I'm in my late 20's and have done nothing since I got out of high school. I've never gone to college, gotten my driver's license, had a job, etc. I have a boyfriend believe it or not, but he's abroad right now, so I don't really hang out with anyone.
A lot of stuff has happened in the past few months though and now I'm completely on my own and having to figure out most things by myself. I've pretty much just been thrown to the dogs, suddenly living by myself, having to hurry up and get my car and find a job while I still have a little money saved up to live off of.
The bad thing is that I can barely function, because of my depression and anxiety. Shit is so hard all the time, especially being alone now, that I just think about ending it. It doesn't feel worth the struggle, and I don't feel like I have much to live for anymore.
At least before, I stuck around because I was a caregiver and someone depended on me, but now there's nothing for me to do except jump into adulthood and get a shit entry level job somewhere while I try to figure out what the hell I want to do with my life.
No. 136643
I was practically smothered by my mother as a teen. 4 years ago I moved away to a big city in the neighbouring country, before then it was constant fights, panic attacks and self-pity. Now I have a great bf and honestly I'm super happy. I'm going to an okay college, a bit later than everyone else but that's alright.
I get depressed sometimes because people in my class think I'm weird and don't really like talking to me but I've made a few nice friends who think I'm cool for whatever reason and they're great. My lecturers think I'm annoying, which is whatever, I don't care for them.
I'm really socially awkward which is my biggest problem rn and I look like Frankie Muniz if I don't wear undereye concealer or cover my ears. I didn't have much of an exciting childhood because I was poor and the only thing I ever heard from my mother was 'we don't have money for that'. I've gotten really into fashion and feel ashamed for spending so much money on it but it's a really weird feeling to buy something and have thousands of euro left over after that. We used to earn like ~£200/month and split it between the both of us (mum and I).
I wish I had the Gilmore Girls childhood, I hate being expected to dress boring just because I'm 23 whilst everyone else is 19. I don't really think of myself as an adult yet, and I like doing 'silly' things just for fun. Who gives a toss.
Really most things stem from not having enough money to be a child and have fun as a kid. I've always wanted a festive Christmas, to go somewhere sunny on holiday, lots of food on the table, not have to go around with rotting teeth, etc.
Now I live with a chronic Christmas-hater so I'll never have my big Christmas, ever.
No. 136644
Ah yes, I feel these feels. I can barely order a pizza, let alone do adult stuff. At least I became good enough at making puppy eyes and manipulating people so that someone else does all the stuff for me while I reap the tasty rewards.
I do feel terrible about it, so I'm getting professional help to see if it makes me not as shitty. But at least my mom had it coming. She deserves me to depend on her and suck all her money away until she dies for the way she raised me.
>>136643>being expected to dress boring just because I'm 23 whilst everyone else is 19What an odd place you live in. I'm 22, going to college, and not too different from my 18-19 yo peers. We dress the same, act the same, go to the same parties, hang out etc, only difference is I live by myself & I'm almost graduating/more knowledgeable than they are.
No. 136646
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Yeah I'm 23 and still live at home, don't have a driver's license, job, etc. and I spent my entire youth attention whoring online so of course I have no friends. At least I have a boyfriend….
No. 136651
>>136646Are you me?
Same here, minus the attention whoring. I've been 'anonymous' since I was 14.
>>136647For me, my boyfriend has friends that are over a lot and they're friendly with me but I know they would never contact me on my own.
No. 136656
oh god this is my thread.
One of my most mortifying HS moments was when I managed to convince the parentals to let me go to a school dance, only pops showed up in the middle and DRAGGED ME HOME IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. I never attended another dance or social event for the rest of my high school days.
I was insecure and shy to begin with, so my parents' 'overprotectiveness' was an excuse to sulk in my room, alone, after school, dicking around on the internet (which was literally the one thing they weren't strict about). I sunk into depression, didn't help that by the time I got to college, everyone I knew had already been working and renting their own places and fucking around Europe. And I was still at home doing jackshit.
I'm 24 and have been making up for lost time by taking short trips on my own with the little money I have from my crappy job, but I am still SO BEHIND people my own age, it's frustrating. Even if I had the money to move out, I would have no clue how to begin the apartment search. No clue how to make friends in a new city. Hell I don't even know how to fit in at work right now.
That is the worst part, I literally have no clue how to do the most basic adult things. Literal autists and crazies have figured it out before I did.
No. 136658
>>136656This is kind of a "facebook effect" type thing. A lot of people (I actually want to say most) don't have super fun, exciting lives when they're young because they're limited by money, school, work, etc. And go look at that incel thread if you want to see people who really don't live at all. You're still young and you've already gotten started so don't worry about it.
This may be bad/unpopular advice but getting a bf really helped me come out of my shell (and he's not even an extroverted type of person). I was able to travel some more and do a few things I've always wanted to do because then I had a "partner in crime." Obviously a really good friend would work just as well, sometimes you need someone with you.
As for basic adult things just look it up on the internet.
No. 136661
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Is it weird that I still hold my dads hand when we go anywhere, especially when crossing the street? Is it weird that I've never been grocery shopping alone at 21? Is it weird that I'm a KHV that has never had a bf?
My parents have seriously stunted my mental growth. I'm pretty much 100% dependant on them for everything. I feel like they've never challenged me to do things on my own, while simultaneously barring me from attempting things by myself. Like, they were so afraid of me making mistakes that I wasn't allowed to do things by myself, ever. And the rare chance I was allowed to try, they physically and verbally punished me when I failed, making me so afraid of trying anything new.
I wish they just let me try things on my own and make mistakes, I feel like an overgrown retard.
No. 136663
>>136661Stop holding your dad's hand. That's the oddest thing about you.
If you can't go grocery shopping alone because of lack of transportation or some other life circumstance, that's understandable. If not, you should really try grocery shopping alone. It's more fun anyway rather than being dragged along and doing a small task like that will be a good opportunity for you to start working towards being more independent.
No. 136665
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I was oversheltered my whole life which resulted in me being bordeline autistic in my "adult" years.
I wasn't allowed to go out with my friends, ever, which resulted in me losing all of them eventually. I wasn't allowed to play with other kids because "i might get hurt" or they might be "bad kids", so at recess i sat down with my head low and whenever kids wanted to play with me i had to reject them out of fear of angering my mother (which i really regret doing now). I eventually ended up being the bullied kid because i was "too quiet" and never fought back.
In the slim chance that i did get to meet with my friends, my mother would always call me and did not let me walk even to the friends house, even if it was right next to my own house she had to be with me.
Whenever i mentioned having any kind of dream or hoping for a job, there would be a pity party about how they already pay my expenses and i do not need a job.
Now i'm 19 pushing 20 and get anxious if i even leave my house. I get terrified while speaking with strangers because my family always had me believe that everyone was out to hurt me and taking out this mindset is being quite difficult. I have no friends at all and no social media, which slims the chances of stopping being socially retarded or doing anything with my life even more. I am depressed and have anxiety attacks over the most normal things like picking up the phone or playing online videogames. Only recently i was even able to talk to people online, which never gets to become anything more than a few chats since i basically have no hobbies or experiencies to tell and come off as a try-hard. I'm scared of talking to people, but i try to force myself to when i can, to practise, but it's difficult learning your average 5-year old social skills at 19 years old.
Recently i'm trying to fight off my parents over-sheltering by trying to do stuff or saying things i wanna do (go to concerts, go shopping alone…) but my mother dismisses me since she believes i am not "experienced" enough to live my life alone, which is her fucking fault to begin with, and i lose all my hopes and become anxious of doing them and back to square one.
So basically, i'm a NEET, with no friends, no job, which never leaves the house, only has a HS diploma and crippling depression and anxiety thanks to my mother believeing it's best to be "careful".
At this point i believe i either snap off the terror i have of my parents at once or end up hanging myself haha.
No. 136671
>>136625it's perfectly normal and acceptable to be in that situation in your early 20's. this decade is your experimental years where you really learn to be an adult.
when you're 30 in that situation, now you have a problem.
No. 136672
File: 1479609418698.gif (1.46 MB, 245x300, tumblr_o8jmkcoVXU1r11s4xo1_r1_…)
I'm in this situation right now. I'm going to be graduating university and I hope I'll be able to move out. The rational part of me is saying "stay at home, and save money, and pay off your debt before you move" but I just want to leave and begin my adult life. I feel like college has just been an extension of high school for me.
I want to move to a big city and get my own apartment and live ALONE.
No. 136675
Being oversheltered sucks, and I'm sorry to hear that it had a negative effect on so many of you.
I started university in September, and I was supposed to move out into a dorm (without my dad's permission, I was determined to do it anyway). When I told him what I was about to do he first threatened to disown me, which didn't stop me because I have student loans and can survive. But then he threatened to leave my family and move elsewhere. My family depends on him as the sole earner. I couldn't be that selfish in case he was serious.
He keeps saying that he won't allow me just because he's worried, and won't be able to sleep if I stay the night elsewhere, while my mom has nothing against me moving out.
I managed to convince him to very reluctantly accept that I will go on a university trip to France next year, which I've paid for (at first he said he would leave the family if I go on that trip too). He also knows that I spend a lot of time in my dorm, but hates it when I stay away from home past 8pm.
As the weeks go by I notice myself falling into some kind of depression, because I feel hopeless, powerless and like no matter how hard and how many times I've tried to change his mind or at least lessen the consequences, it doesn't amount to anything. The trip abroad thing made me feel hopeful at first, but when I told him I'd paid for it he scolded and guilt tripped me for it like all other things I do.
My flatmates ask me every day when I will spend the night there. They're all such nice girls, I have a cute room with pretty decorations and brought some of my belongings in there, hoping to move the rest in too.
But this situation of being in a kind of limbo feels like shit. I keep wondering, why did it have to be me? What the fuck do I do?
No. 136681
>>136679have you tried reaching out to your friends, inviting them out instead?
>>136680ignore this anon please. its completely normal to have a FOMO feeling as an adult.
No. 136682
>>136681I do on a regular basis, but it's often that they are busy with other shit because unlike me they actually have a life and proper social circle. Plus every time we do stuff, I'm limited by inconveniences such as I need to get home by a certain time/find accommodations due to being a fuckup who lives in the burbs with my folks. I'm trying my best to get on a proper adult footing but it takes time, yet I can't delay having friends because then I'll really go crazy.
Also, I'm pretty paranoid that the few friends I have do talk behind my back about my shitty situation which honestly makes me want to crawl into a hole and not emerge until I've magically gotten my shit together.
No. 136683
>>136679>>136682This is me to a T, anon. The only difference is my parents dont care as much about me going out (when I do), bso my problem is the fact I don't have a car/dont drive so I hate always asking friends to pick ME up or drop me off. I too am paranoid about them thinking Im wierd for not having a license, or having a lot of friends, and it bums me out when I see them hanging out with other friends.
I do ask them to hang out but they're always busy with other things. Im in college and I have more free time than them. Ive asked one of my friends to hang out for the past couple of weekends and we're always trying to find the right day when we're both free, but sometimes I think its because she just doesnt want to hang out with me. I know its paranoia and insecurity, but its so hard to stop thinking like this. My friends seem excited to hear from or see me so I dunno why I put myself down :/ plus some of my friends are seniors in highschool and they have jobs/cars/license and I have none of that. it makes me feel like Im not an adult. Im only 18 so its not that big of a deal yet but I have no experience with anything it sucks.