/ot/ - off-topic

I think that in large part, 4chan is to blame for the fact that I'm always skeptical about coming into new friendships with other females. I always assume right away that they'll be too "tumblr" or horrendously unfunny, or rather just not appreciate my type of humor. I also find myself averted to any type of social media attentionwhoring, which is pretty common among females my age these days. It takes a while for me to warm up to other females as friends because of these unspoken mental blocks. I definitely always still make an effort, but I've yet to actually feel like I have a legitimate friendship connection with any of them. I don't feel like this stuff makes me superior, it's just been ingrained into me from spending so much of my free time on chan style image boards for so much of my life. On the flipside though, I don't think I'd actually enjoy being friends with a fellow anon irl. Maybe i am just severely autistic.

That's exactly what happened to me. It made me really paranoid about friends in general, because I just assume men are as autistic and gross as guys on image boards and assume women are mostly normalfags since it was rare to run across a woman there, unless she was an attention whore.

Over the years, I have managed to befriend a few dudes from 4chan, but I always felt like they were lowkey trying to get in my pants or that they were one rejection away from going full incel and trying to dox me or something.

No luck with women so far, despite giving the lolcow friend finder thread a go. I'd love to have some girl friends that I could talk shit with, but I guess for some reason we don't click. It starts off okay but we never click and end up going our separate ways.

4chan has made my world view so pessimistic and honestly just offensive. I still spend a lot of time there and it makes it really hard to relate to people. I feel like that place has me held hostage.

My interests and humour have become very autistic and edgy. It's not like I can talk about 4chan related things to other people and I spend a lot of time on there. How do I fix this? I really try but the place is too damn addicting. I've cut off the place cold turkey before, but I don't know what else to do with all that free spare time. Especially since all my interests are intertwined with the hobby boards. Even when I stay strictly in productive hobby boards, I always end up straying back into the ones bad for my mental health.

I look at other people as Stacy, Chad and beta orbiters regularly, and fuck, I was really close to calling myself autistic when I did something socially awkward in the presence of an acquaintance with an autistic brother.

I don't know how to function like a normal human being anymore, especially socially. I always want to make new female friends on lolcow and real life but I'm way too socially inept at this point.

>>136359
No, I go outside.

The reason I spend a lot of time on imageboards is because it's anonymous and it gives me a feeling of safety. Other places online all have accounts with usernames and a certain culture that I'm not too fond of.

I'm a yuropoor and where I live very few people are SJWs, so I'm not worried about that. I don't mind female friendships and I don't see other women as 'Stacies' unless they exhibit that kind of behaviour and look/act like an instaho. So far I've only met a few girls like that.

It takes a while for me to warm up to people in general and I'm not very feminine so most people don't really bother with me. I'm not ugly but I'm slightly socially awkward and dress/look very plain, whatever I wear always ends up looking like granny's borrowed clothes on me. I don't like social gatherings much so most people just kind of ignore me.

I'm not very pessimistic, just jaded. I see a lot of people on both 4chan and whatever SJW hub is popular these days as retarded gimps parroting whatever is popular in their political circle whilst calling the other side stupid. It's… whatever.

I used to care about people's opinions a lot back in the day but nowadays it's like a passing gust of wind, everyone has one and I just can't be bothered to give a solitary shite.

Much of that is thanks to 4chimp.

I too essentially grew up on 4ch. I started posting around 2005/6, mainly on /b/ then moved onto a plethora of other boards.

It definitely changed my perception of things. For a while I hated other girls because I fell for the "ugh girls are terrible" meme (though this wasn't 4ch exclusive I think, it seems a lot of girls have thought this at some point) and it definitely stemmed from my shit self esteem.

One thing I really don't regret from 4ch though is my sense of humour. It's admittedly really dumb and I still laugh at stuff like NIGGERS or POOLS CLOSED but I've always considered it largely harmelss and just in good fun. It's nice to laugh at silly things like that every once in a while.

I was depressed and stopped going to school, the last girl who I would consider a friend (hung out with, etc) and didn't move away or die totally dropped me and that was the beginning of the "end", really.
That was over a decade ago and I really have a difficult time with friendship. I have no friends. Unless I just give off a lesbian vibe, there have been a few times where some girls started talking to me and seemed to want to start a friendship, but I'm awkward af and can't keep a convo going for multiple reasons, so of course nothing materialized.
In addition to that, I don't want a boyfriend because I'm uncomfortable with my body. I'm doing a lot better about it now, but it is still a significant thing holding me back from any form of relationship.

I'm actually pretty sure that if I found /cgl/ two years earlier (basically when it started), I would have become an aspiring idoru or something in my teens. Maybe life would have been better were I an attention whore idk.


>>136364
>One thing I really don't regret from 4ch though is my sense of humour. It's admittedly really dumb and I still laugh at stuff like NIGGERS or POOLS CLOSED but I've always considered it largely harmelss and just in good fun. It's nice to laugh at silly things like that every once in a while.
I totally get that, same. Also, the times when I get super stressed and angry about something that I have a meltdown brewing, it results in me basically shitposting and trying to be offensive in the idiotic imageboard way. It's really stupid but it is what it is I guess.

I never liked 4chan. The few times I went I was either grossed out or found it very boring. I haven't had girl friends since I was 16, and I've throughly given up. All women to me are either gossiping mean girls, immature or annoying, or I'm jealous of them in some way, although that's definitely improving. All men to me either don't exist, or I see them as potential husbands. I've also given up friendships with males. Every male friend I've had for years now has confessed their interest in me, and I never have an interest in dating them. It makes me feel kinda bad to stay friends with someone who likes me a lot more than I like them. I found Lolcow by accident after trying to find proof that Dakota photoshopped all her photos.

>>136364
>>136365
Thirding, anon imageboards basically gave me my morbid crude sense of humor. I have to remind myself to hide my powerlevel constantly.

>>136359
I haven't had any close female friends since high school. My best friend at the time was a pretty shitty person – she didn't use image boards at all but she was the "I'm not like other girls!!" type. I remember her insulting a female domestic abuse victim and saying "Girls are so stupid, why wouldn't you just leave him if he was abusing you?" and so once we started college I "grew apart" from her and haven't made any other female friends since. I have a few pretty close guy friends who I talk to via the internet pretty often but I have to keep them at arm's length because I'm not interested in them and I'd hate to lead them on. The only woman I speak to consistently anymore is my mother and it's super depressing. I need more female interaction in my life.

>>136364
>>136365
>>136367
I relate, I've had to train myself not to use racial slurs casually, especially "shitskins" (I am brown myself so people would probably be slightly concerned about my sense of self-worth lol). It's just fun to eschew all social boundaries and be a degenerate sometimes, especially on the internet.

does everyone here see other girls as their enemies? I feel like everyone has said something about being jealous or finding other women irritating/childish/whatever. the only time I've felt compelled to avoid other women is when they make an effort to be mean to me (which admittedly a lot of girls on 4chan did) or if they have the same characteristics I find annoying in men. maybe I just give them more of a benefit of the doubt than men? like I'll find something compelling about girls who are loud and speak their mind but I don't have that same patience for loud men at all. even with SJWs or whatever I try not to pass judgements on them, a lot of them have had really terrible experiences that make them that way, but I've met a few who got there through the same 4chan self-loathing cycle.

I think the humor bit comes in more with gross shit than anything else. racial slurs have always made me uncomfortable (I'm kind of a bleeding heart about stuff like that, I'll get really upset when people use most any slurs), but the thing that really took hold was just the bizarre surreal gross stuff. good girl points/shart in mart/ autism stories are hilarious to me now, every once in a while I'll just spam matches on tinder with surreal-y terrifying nastiness.

>>136369
I wouldn't say I see other girls as my enemy but I am a little intimidated by them. I grew up in a really small conservative town and most of the people who shared my interests happened to be boys. I had one female friend who was a shitty person (see >>136368) and part of the reason I stopped liking her is because she tended to shit on other women for no reason/out of jealousy. Since I had so few friendships with girls growing up, I feel kind of intimidated in that I have no idea how to be friends with them, even though I know it's not really that different from being friends with a guy. Even when I remind myself that I'm certainly not that special and there are other girls with my interests, I still have a hard time getting close enough to be friends (I have trouble making friends with both guys and girls tbh but it's a little worse for me with girls, most of the friends I still talk to are people I've known since like middle school).

I'm not trying to 32 inch waist chan here, but I'm a pretty normal looking and very above averge looks wise, which as we all are aware will get your further in life than if not. My power level is never on display. As a result, I'm pretty much exclusively approached by other above average looking basic bitches for friendships, and not much else. I'm not socially awkward and can easily pass for a normal girl like them. I make an effort to join in on their normie activities and conversation but I find it existing at times. It's all so superficial and boring to me. I can't display my 4chan humor because it's socially unacceptable, and I have to pretend to think their normie humor is funny. It's gotten to the point that I just don't bother anymore. I know it's my own choice but I still get pretty lonely at times. It's like I'm dammed if i do dammed if i dont.

>>136371
Exausting*

Fuck me

4chan fucked up my relationship with men, at some point I worshipped men and hated women, thanks god I am out of that phase.

>unspoken
You mean unofficial. It was spoken very frequently – nearly every single time I or someone else indicate they're a woman.

>>136374
I meant unspoken because nobody told me or anyone else not to talk to other women, we just didn't.

>>136375
Yeah anons kinda right. Anytime the fact that you're a female was even slightly hinted at you were attacked with TITS OR GTFO CUMDUMPSTER, etc. I'm not sure if it's still like that over there, it's been a few years

>>136376
Now everyone just denies that there are "femanons" on /b/, /v/, etc


I spent a lot of time on 4Chan as well and it honestly just made me a lot less emotional. I definitely went through the humor thing, but the biggest change was definitely the way I felt about more emotional and social issues.

Always heard of 4chan but never actually visited the site until about 3 years ago. Kinda ended up stuck there as I had nothing else to really do with my days as I wasn't working and I had(have) no friends. Unfortunately I ended up on one of the worst boards to be female, r9k. I spent most of my time there and /cgl/ (which is how I found out about this site about half a year ago) I hated basically everything about r9k, but because of boredom I kept coming back to it just to lurk it. Even though I believe the people to be completely delusional with nasty personalities, the negative atmosphere hurt my self esteem and just depressed me even more. I projected a lot of their insecurities onto myself, even if it didn't make sense. For example, people there are really insecure if they're short. Being short is really only a male insecurity, I don't think most people care about a short woman, but now being short bothers me a lot and I'm really insecure about it too. I have a hard time looking at other people taller than me because I feel they don't respect me even though I know that's not really logical. I told myself I needed to get away from that place if I wanted to slowly get better mentally. It was a toxic place where nobody even liked me simply because I didn't hate literally everything while being a meme spouter. I've been off that place for about 3 months now, I think my self esteem is slowly coming back, it helps to come to lolcow and have light hearted conversation with other women. Unfortunately i recently lost my only female friend, but in my experience women are usually better friends to each other than a man can be. I think they're usually more supportive than males are, which is something I value a lot because I'm the really emotional type.

I've always been more of a lurker, so I think I managed to keep a bit of a distance between myself internally and what was going on in the 4ch threads I read. In a sense, I was probably already pretty fucked up far before I started regularly going on 4ch, because I don't think I was ever shocked or sickened by some of the stuff on there (gore or whatever). During the time I read 4ch the most, all my friends in school were female, so I don't think it affected how I view girls much, aside from being very wary about any girl who openly talks about going to 4chan. And I've always been very reserved and measured about who I interact with which contributes to a low friend count far more than 4chan ever did. Actually, 4chan made me a bit more social because I fell into an online group of mostly normally functioning people just with a twist in their sense of humor or interests.

For me, it was just a site I read. I never took anything said seriously, and honestly I forget sometimes that these are actual people writing stuff. I stopped going because it got too hivemind-y and people got too relentless in shoehorning their political/ideological shitpost in every single thread.

>>136378
Being short is actually a plus for girls. As long as you're not a literal midget, most guys will like that. Really tall girls on the other hand, not so much.

I just miss being part of a loosely knit group where you could call duck rolls or call someone a faggot without someone else getting triggered. Granted tumblr is mostly where the triggering stays, but it was okay to call your friend that out loud. Chans were rotting corpses when I found them, but I still enjoyed my turn at poking it.
I was fat and lonely and 14 so as fun as it could be I'm glad I never got dedicated to the shitpile.

>>136381
It's not really about what guys like or whatever. It's a universal respect thing. Until about 2 years ago, I never thought about height. Not my own height, not other girls height, not men's height. I just really never thought about it. But then I read about people complaining about being short, and then I realized I was short, then I got really insecure. I don't care if someone is short, but I feel like taller people do, that they wont respect me or take me seriously because my height. I can't shake this feeling, it just eats at me. I wish I was just a few inches taller.

>>136381
>everything is about whether or not guys would like it
gross

>>136383
it's this basically. i'm not insecure about being short, but it does feel like whenever i try to assert myself in a normal way, like not letting myself get pushed around on the bus, people look on me like i'm an insolent child and not as a grown ass woman tired of getting elbowed in the face.

it does have its perks though. got my way to the very front of a packed concert because people are willing to let you in front of them. and people tend to underestimate me, or assume i'm meek or quiet or whatever people assume short ass women are like, so i think when i do something unexpected it stands out more.

>>136381
Who's the girl in the picture? She's qt

>>136385
Her name is Katya, she's some kind of turkic. Very kawaii. Here's another picture.

>>136386
>katya
>turkic
Tatar, you pleb

>>136387
Well according to google
>Tatar, also spelled Tartar, any member of several Turkic-speaking peoples that collectively numbered more than 5 million in the late 20th century and lived mainly in west-central Russia along the central course of the Volga River and its tributary, the Kama, and thence east to the Ural Mountains
Tatar are Turkic? So what's the issue?

>>136384
Yes, exactly. And if I'm out ANYWHERE with my parents or family members it's assumed I'm literally 14. It's incredibly embarrassing and I automatically FEEL 14 as a result of the way I'm perceived. It affects my self esteem and confidence. Guys assume I'm 15 or so and 17 year olds hit on me. It's very unnerving.

>>136388
Robot is gonna get bugurt his waifu is actually a "shitskin".

>>136391
Looks as turk as one can be. But muh 3D perfect waifu

>>136386
OT but i get so weirded out whenever i see katya. she looks just like this serbian guy i used to work with. they have the exact same face; i'm beginning to believe that they were identical twins snatched apart.

>>136389
My parents once paid a child's admission for me when I was 18, kek.

I definitely get the "feel younger" thing. It mostly comes up when I try to look more professional/classy/fancy. I don't know, those looks just seem so…off. Like kid playing dress up. of course, could just be me as an awkward fuck, but even a basic white button up and trousers look more "school uniform" on me than "temp secretary".

>>136369
I think the enemy/I'm not like other girls mentality stemmed largely from insecurities for most girls.

Like you're in this community where women are largely either hated on or completely loved (and those girls tended to have a specific 'look'), so unless you fell into that category you were completely ignored and/or made fun of yourself. So the whole beaches and shores mentality became the norm.

YEARS ago I made a thread about it on /adv/ where I talked about not having female friends and how at the same time I didn't want any because I didn't like them and stuff, and an anon made an amazing response that was basically "You have shit self esteem and you're projecting that on how you perceive women. Get over yourself and you will make female friends". It was such a revelation, lmao.

>>136394
OT but play about with fabrics and cuts that you see on movie depictions of career women. I'm also a short temp office lady but 'womanly' staples like chiffon or silky blouses, earrings and smart updos tip the balance away from schoolish. But then again, you should just enjoy your youth, I look haggard af and don't feel like I am treated with resepect any moreso than when I was babyfaced.

>>136395
It's really nice to imagine someone actually getting good advice from /adv/, I remember it just became a redpill general

>>136391
>>136391
hahahaha omg

>>136390
I'm not a robot and it was a joke. Pull that stick out of your arse.

>>136398
Truth. I'm not a robot either and I posted that first pic of katya. I know this site was linked on /r9k/ several times, but there's no need to be paranoid.

>>136386
Thanks! I'm the anon that asked. I liked her style in that particular photo…she kind of reminds me of Anzu

>>136396
/adv/ is fine, you've just got to learn to separate the whining teenagers out from the rest, because they give fucking terrible advice and are the redpill morons you're talking about.

This thread resonates a lot with me. I found 4chan about 7 years ago and I mostly just lurked there constantly. Before that I was on Livejournal but it was on its death bed by the time I left it for 4chan. I also used to visit /r9k/ a lot which is fucking stupid to do especially if you're a woman. It made me hate myself and distrust men because of the constant women hate threads. I stopped going there after a while because it just made me more depressed than I already was. I started going full weeaboo and visiting /a/ a lot instead which was a good move from /r9k/ at least. I haven't had any real female friends since the beginning of high school (8 years ago) and I also lost touch with my only close online female friend because I was a self-pitying, depressed neet for a few years. Now I'm in my 20s and I'm mostly friends with guys I've met through 4chan and I don't like to get too close to them if they aren't gay or if they are single and straight. I have to count my blesssings because hey at least I have friends but at the same time I really miss female friendship. When I do have the chance to converse or make friends with girls I am always afraid of acting "autistic" or offending them somehow because Tumblr culture is so prevelant these days. I'm also automatically intimidated if I find a girl who I would want to be friends with because I think they are too good for me. I just want some chill female friends who are cool with offensive 4chan style humor and perhaps enjoy vidya or anime.