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No. 135848
>>135847Thanks anon.
Another note: most "improve yourself socially" websites are aimed at men. Sure, a lot of the tips apply to both men and women, but then the author makes a passing reference to "getting girls" and I'm instantly reminded of the fact that I'm a retarded girl who has to resort to guides for neckbeards.
No. 135851
>>135849I think they also miss the point. Yes, it's overall easier for women to get laid. The keyword is GET LAID. They are projecting their own desires onto women, who are, amazingly enough, biologically different and do not derive the same satisfaction from casual banging as men do.
Being in a loving relationship is another story. Yes, most women could be in relations if they lowered their standards enough, but being forever alone is
not about not having options. it's about
not having options that will truly make you happy.There are many forever alone women out there.
Sorry anon, that's my rant.
>>135850The thing about a shit personality is that it is far more difficult to fix than ugliness. :/ if you can find your counter, it's easier.
No. 135854
>>24327Hey, visiting from /r9k/, nice board you have here.
Men who develop that sort of skewed attitude towards women are often in a situation where they have very little opportunity to interact with women normally.
As a result they develop broad generalized opinions about women based on the few mostly negative encounters that these type of men are likely to have had.
I would guess similar things can happen with women.
Such behaviours are often partially involuntary, like when you get mugged by a gang of Arabs and can't look them in the eye in the street for months afterwards.
You begin to associate this group of people from whom you are estranged with danger and pain, because of the limited and profoundly damaging nature of the interactions between you, and they.
Or something like that.
No. 135862
>>135861If only staying positive was really so easy as making a simple choice.
When the material evidence points to the foundations of your life crumbling underneath you, and your balance of social capital is entirely in the red, then keeping a positive attitude about it a strong sign of lacking wits to fully comprehend your situation.
Sometimes I feel like there is a conspiracy to make it socially frowned upon to express negative emotions.
No. 135863
>>135850Yes. This. Over the years I've become far less of a nasty bitch due to forceful self-restraint. All those times my mom said to me as a kid to hold my tongue really stuck with me when I realized nobody wanted to be my fucking friend anymore. Also, my SO is extremely calm, cool and collected and never drops down to my petty level when I'm angry, and knows how to ease me out of that state. It's like magic, to tell you the truth.
To everyone in this thread: I'm not saying you need to go run and find someone who can help you and you can help, but if you ever come across the person who balances out your crazy - significant other or not - try your damndest to keep them in your life because it's rare as fuck to find someone like that.
No. 135868
>>135859I used to be like this but then I had a manic episode and spent a year+ with only my grandma with dementia for company. Now I am a complete social retard that creeps people out and has no idea how to start conversations. I can't even fake it anymore – when I'm spent, I'm spent, and there's really not much I can do about it besides go home and sleep.
It's weird, because even though I have to learn social skills all over again, I'm relieved I don't have to be fake anymore. I was always anxious over having everyone like me, or finding out about the shit I talked. Just take happiness from where you can get it, I guess.
No. 135870
>>135846I'm extremely two-faced. I have a really nice and I think what people would see as a genuinely very innocent side. I'm a lolita and all my cosplay friends and lolita friends think I'm really sweet and actually won't curse or swear around me and silly things like that.
I'm incredibly vindictive and very calculated with revenge, though. I plot out how to ruin people extensively if they cross me and have a lot of people on that list. It always goes through my mind how easy it would be to ruin people and screw someone over hard if they cross me. I like anon board because I'm both shy and it's easy to use the nature of these boards. I'm still plotting how to take down who I hate the most, because I want to tailor it just perfectly to ruin them. They're really horribly cluster B types, though. At least, I feel like I have some sense of justice in not pulling anyone through the mud.
No. 135875
>>135870former me. i guess i just havent had the chance to exact revenge lately, but i used to use your exact methods.
being evil is great
No. 135880
I fancy posting in greentext.
>overbearing dad, would snap at everything at no notice
>kowtowing mother "listen to your father", while resenting him
>grew up submissive, after puberty/moving out of house/coming back I changed for the opposite
>the only way to get whole family to go along is to go on the attack, be the loudest, pounce first
>pair this with social retardation, selfishness and extreme jealousy
>any bf I had was sweet as pie, usually sub
>I harass/abuse/nag them to the point of crying if they make me jealous
>that could be literally anything, any mention of an ex, bumping into an old friend and wanting to reconnect etc
>will go out of my way to make them jealous if I feel the need
>literally do not care about anyone elses problems
>back when I tried being popular had to mentally list people's big problems (diagnosed with a terminal illness, has abusive bf, recently miscarried etc) in order to get by
>absolutely don't see the point in asking "how are you?", will zone out if the answer is more than 5 seconds long
>absolutely hate being pursued, prefer going after who I like so I have control over the relationship from the start
>get so pissed and start scheming if someone slights me
>yesterday my friend refused to give me a lift despite it being cold
>so now every time I'm over I'm going to eat a bit of the chocolate bar he's been saving for 2 months for his bday, leaving the packaging intact
>every time something like this happens I rage hard, promise to myself I'll ruin his life, break his heart, then leave him so he can be miserable and regret ever crossing me
Also I do rage hard at the robots saying women have a social circle by default. OK so I'm unemployed, no money to go anywhere and not in education. Where are these friends coming from? Are girls supposed to magically connect on the train, in a queue and that's it, you've got like 20 best buds because that's just what girls do? It's so detached from reality it just angers me.
No. 135883
>>135881First of all, sorry if I sound incoherent, English is not my 1st language. Secondly, I think I can relate to that anon. I don't know if yours are the same as me, but mine is like, I have lots of interest/hobbies, but I can't keep it long enough. I started one hobby, gets really into it, but I get bored pretty quickly, so I hopped into another, and the same thing happened over and over again. It drives me insane sometimes and now I'm completely numb to anything because currently, I don't have any interest I wanted to pursue. The same thing happened to the uni major I picked. I still like it, but the interest is not there anymore. I'm worried about getting a job later when I graduate and I wonder if I will feel the same as I treat my hobbies. For sure, hopping from job to job won't look good on resume, and I will end like the bitter adults I always hated to be. Uuugh…I don't know what to do anymore…
No. 135884
>>135883This is the story of my life.
Also, your English is fine. That reminds me that I've started learning so many languages that I can't focus on for long enough to become fluent or even functional in. :/
No. 135885
>>135882I see things I want to do it's just I try them and I'm like "oh…this….isn't fun at all."
>>135883I'll pick something like say learning the guitar and for months, even years I'll research it and be like "that's what I want to do!" but I'm reluctant to spend money on a guitar because yeah like you, I get bored of it and it's a waste of money. Then I eventually spend money on all the gear and drop the hobby and it was all just…a waste.
Like you, I don't like my college course anymore. I just feel like everyone has at least one thing they really love and it makes them an interesting person and I'm there like "one time I tried ballet…it made me feel nothing."
>>135884Sometimes learning multiple languages can help you learn others though. Plus it's nice to have a few phrases in one if someone happens to speak it too, just build on them slowly.
No. 135887
>>135880i'm anon from
>>135877 and i think we are similar personality wise. to answer the last question i would say treat sociability as a skill set like driving. do it enough and it becomes muscle memory but know that you need to train it and use it frequently otherwise it would start regressing. but also you can't force the jump from mere strangers>acquaintance>best buds in a short amount of time. most people have close friends that have lasted years and it's hard to break into social circles when you don't have credibility with them. you do however have novelty and that's what i've been using to establish new friendships.
also i've never really been jealous when a guy expresses interest in women besides me. like that's completely natural and i look at other men too. but for many guys they see this as a red flag: they actually want me to show jealousy as a gf which is counter intuitive to how they usually complain about "naggy clingy girls". I have a suspicion it's because guys know that sympathizers are guilty of the same crime. if i were looking/talking to other men i would be less persecuting of them looking at other women. they would want me to be jealous as proof that i wasn't considering other men. should i start getting jealous with my future bf's?
No. 135891
>>135854It's a result of your venomous echo chamber actually. Even other boards on 4chan aren't as pathetic as robots.
You can have no luck with women and not become a misogynist, the trick is to not take girl advice from a board notorious for being full of people who don't interact with girls, ever.
No. 135896
>>135857I hate men. Not in the feminist way, but they fucking annoy me.
Yes, I know i'm attractive.
No, i will not fucking smile for you.
No, you can't have my number.
No, I don't want to date your 300 pound ass.
No, i will not "be nicer" to you, unworthy slime.
I'm also starting to hate women because they're so goddamn pathetic and useless.
You seriously can't learn such a simple code?
How have you never downloaded a new OS on your P.C?
Why can't you understand simple logical statements, why do you always think in feelings?
Stop being so damn catty about everything, and stop trying to compete with me.
Everyone honestly irritates me, and it's showing in the way I treat people. How do i get off this train?
No. 135903
>>135848I think those sites are made by guys who think all a girl has to do in order to get a date is have boobs. Totally untrue. I can't get anyone to even notice me for three seconds and mine are huge.
I'm not actually cold. I just have very little outward emotion. I have feelings but not what a lot of people would call normal emotions. I'm very blank, get over things immediately or are just not affected by them much at all.
People see that as icy. So I'm forced sometimes to pretend I have emotions I wouldn't be displaying at that time. Having to act fake to be perceived as normal is very draining.
When I tell people I'm a foreveralone they act like it's no big deal because "you're so pretty". You must be blind. I don't think I'm attractive.
And I kinda want to make that my thing. I hate myself so much that I'm starting to like it. Putting myself down is like fuel to keep going now. I enjoy hating myself.Because It's all I've got.
At least I don't think the world owes me a boyfriend because I've become garbage.
>>135851I'm fine with no relationship. In fact that's one thing I can't handle because I cannot be there for you emotionally. I just can't do it. I'd have to fake the emotions. I also have problems forming attachments to people. Even people I've known all my life are like ghosts to me. They just float through my life and if they are gone too long I kind of forget about them and feel no need to see them again. They become strangers. In short I can't seem to miss people.
When someone dies, even a close relative, I just sort of nod my head and life goes on. I can't get worked up about a death. I have tried. But I view it as reality that can't be avoided. and once you are dead I won't see you again. So the distance lengthens and there's no connection left.
I tried to explain this to my family. They don't understand and think I'm exaggerating. But it's like I was born with some factory defect. I was put together with missing pieces and they can't fit back in. The pieces didn't fall out of the box. They were never put in the box to begin with. So I can't be fixed. I'm stuck like this and I feel so isolated. I hate being stuck with this brain. I hate it. But that's the way it is. I'm stuck like this for another 50 years or so. Hopefully in the next life I will be normal.
But I would like someone to find me appealing. But that never seems to happen much. When it does it's someone more messed up than me. Someone way too old or someone I'm not into. And I realise that my options are way limited. I'm not even being picky. I'm literally left with what I don't really want from the beginning. If someone gets attached they will inevitably be disappointed.
I wish neckbeards realised that girls aren't magical sets of boobs that can get any man they want by winking. We have the same awful problems. I'm clean and well dressed and polite. But socially and emotionally I am just not there and it is not something that is fixable. So I try and try but the only way to appear normal is to put on a performance.
No. 135905
>>135903I feel you on some levels, anon. I have huge boobs too, always hated them. I didn't really see them as "sexually attractive"; more likely they made me feel way more awkward and I always felt like a 40 year old mom rather than sexy hot young women with them. Just gross and matronly. Something about me just isn't sexy or appealing to guys. No amount of boobs or prettiness can help this.
I have a bf now and I had one before. I met my ex at a party (one of the three parties I attended during my school life). I was available, he made his intentions clear, so we ended up together. But it always felt like a sheer coincidence rather than deep feelings of love. He was just a guy I somehow tricked into seeing me as sexy and desireable and interesting. He left me after a year, because I was boring, passive and didn't evolve at all; he matured and I stayed a socially awkward, bland person.
Even my now bf I see as a person I somehow tricked into thinking I'm cute and sexy and interesting. Each day I dread he finds out I'm just a boring, not very good looking girl, and that most of my smiles are fake and I only smile because it seems like an appropriate thing to do from time to time. I don't even really know if I love him; it's just nice to have a human being around that likes you and gives you compliments and sees a version of me that is so much better than my actual percieved self.
At college, I'm always alone. During the almost three years of my studies I have made zero friends. The only two people I know are friends/acquaintances I knew before. First I hated it, all my friends at other colleges made friends and party and had fun. Nowadays, I'm just glad I can be alone and that I don't need to talk to someone. Actually I try to actively avoid people because I just want to be left alone. Being anonymous makes me feel much more secure and with so much less pressure on human interaction.
I wish I actually
had depression just to have an excuse for my behavior. My mom suggested I might be depressed, but I don't think I am. I do feel happy once in a while, and I do feel sad a lot of the time, and I still sometimes get excited and joyfull or angry. I'm not suicidal. I just think I am a very socially awkward person who isn't really good at interacting at others, and due to my introvert nature I'm not even interested most of the time, and I'm happier alone. The rest of the stuff is just a shit personality with lots of insecurities, laziness, etc
No. 135910
>>135909Even the most socially awkward people I know (who are outwardly far weirder than I am) are able to form these bonds. Plus, I look like a normal person. There's no physical reason why people wouldn't approach me, so it must be that I give off a bad vibe. :/
I'm able to make friends, but I have to do all the inviting and heavy lifting. I've never had a friendship where the person liked me as much as I liked them.
You're very much not alone, anon.
No. 135911
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I'm a raging, jealous, envious bitch.
Envy is literally the first emotion I remember feeling. I was a little kid who went insane when I saw any girl who was prettier, had cuter dresses, or was allowed to do any of the girly stuff (nail polish, makeup, etc) my parents forbade me from doing.
It didn't get any better as I grew older. I got jealous when my friends wanted to hang out with other friends, I raged whenever someone was better than me at something I cared about, it drove me crazy that my family wasn't as affluent or cultivated or established as everyone else's.
As an adult I have insane trouble dating because I can't fucking stand that the guys I see have histories with other women. I worry that I'm not as pretty, not as smart, not as charming, not as talented. That he'll leave once he realizes he could do better - it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I could go on and on.
No. 135917
>>135915Ye dawg that was me.
I didn't think anybody really read my post so I'm so happy that somebody not only read it but is making an effort to incorporate it into their life because it's really helping mine.
I was in a pretty dark place prior and had been for a long time, filled with misery and spite and rage, and at the heart of it all, pride.
I scoffed at the notion of this at first, and did so for a while, until I came across a few passages of Tao Te Ching and a close friend who was super into spiritualism began inviting me to these mindfulness sessions. At first I waved it off as some dumb religious crap, and again scoffed at it, but now it's something I try to live by everyday. I've not only become a better person, I'm a fundamentally happier person now too.
Have you noticed much of a change in your mood/attitude yet?
No. 135922
>>135896I get the male part. Tbh I think they're fine in most areas except romantic, where they become fucking morons.
Once you date them all this shit comes out, like they play stupid games to either try make you jealous, or try hide any idea they could get it up thinking of another female body (both lies are damaging). They'd become insecure if you're earning more than them, or try to curtail what activities you do because it's dangerous (like traveling late/alone), and of course a good bf will let you do it, they know you have common sense. But their concern fucking weighs on you. And the common sense they would've had if they were your friend is out the window. No social intelligence at all, no concept of how to work through issues except to tell me and have me be their counselor.
And I won't even start on sex/fetish issues. God damn.
And for the female side, you can get tae fuck. Seems like you're judging them for not having the same niche interests as you, fuck off mate.
No. 135931
>>135930Or you could try really hard to become interesting, but I don't imagine you would succeed. I mean, I'm certain it's possible, since no one was ever born interesting. For example, I bet you were a very boring baby who could only cry and not much else.
But at this age, you're most likely set in your ways already. Luckily, drugs exist, which you seem to have figured out already.
No. 135934
>>135933Uh, so you're mocking me because I mentioned drugs.
I already tried suicide. I've been quite afraid of dying ever since. When I was in hospital I thought dying meant to feel your last emotion forever, in my case absolute boredom with a splash of fear. Not an appealing prospect. Obviously this near-death experience was bullshit but it scared the shit out of me.
Even though I think you're right I would not recommend suicide to another person, not even on an image board. You seem to fit in here quite well.
No. 135935
>>135934What the fuck? How am I mocking you? I'm just sharing my own opinions and way of life.
I would recommend suicide to everyone ever. Being alive is pretty much the dumbest thing you can do. I have no idea why people put up with this shit.
No. 135947
>>135929ADHD? I've never even considered that. I've been diagnosed with depression years ago.
I find it hard to concentrate and I'm doing awful in college. Also I'm really forgetful and easily distracted so I fit some of the symtoms for ADHD. But I definately wouldn't call myself hyperactive?
I feel like if I get diagnosed with something like that my only option will be to take medication which numbs me even more. I just want to be happy, you know?
No. 135948
>>135947Could be ADD?
ADHD= Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder
ADD= Attention Deficit Disorder
Could really sound like it, it is also linked to depresson.
No. 135952
>>135929>>135883Are you me anons? Ive lost interest in several hobbies and switched majors 3 times. At this point im just going to get a University Studies degree to incorporate all the classes I've taken because this is my fifth year and Im burnt out and dont wanna take more time to complete a major.
Also I've been diagnosed with ADD. I got prescribed Adderall but it stopped working after a week and then again after they upped the dosage, so I stopped taking it. I got prescribed Ritlin awhile later but my parents talked my out of it because of side effects. Although now Im considering going back to the doctor to see about other meds. My focus has particularly shitty the past couple months…..
Sage for OT
No. 135953
>>135947>take medication which numbs me even moreAs far as prescription amphetamines go this is a meme, as 4chan would say. I didn't know what "numb" really was until I started taking vyvanse and realized that "numb" was the definition of what I used to be.
I never used to find anything very funny or emotionally compelling until I went on vyvanse. Now I tear up during movies and actually laugh out loud instead of just being sort of amused at most.
I also now feel like absolute shit come nightfall when I've only screwed around all day, and super comfy cozy & content if I've spent the day getting shit done instead. I think getting rid of the "numbness" is part of what makes these drugs so effective.
I'm ADD, not ADHD btw. Also concerned about having to take it forever but atm its very much worth it to me.
No. 135955
>>135952Usually Ritalin does give you a tolerance. Adderall/amphetamine is more likely to do that because it’s a releaser while Ritalin is a re-uptake inhibitor for the same neurotransmitters.
However you can avoid building a tolerance to Adderall by making small breaks during holidays (1-4 weeks).
Then there’s atomoxetine which is an antidepressant used for ADHD patients. It works better for some people since it focuses more on norepinephrine than dopamine (Ritalin and Adderall both increase dopamine and norepinephrine levels). There are also other anti-depressants (Bupropion for example) used off label to treat ADHD. Contrary to stimulants these don’t have an abuse potential. You don’t get a high but you also don’t build up a tolerance. Ask your doctor about it.
No. 135956
>>135929>>135947I'm
>>135883 anon, and same, I never considered ADHD/ADD before since I don't have any psychological condition before, but it might be possible…I think I'm going to seek professional help for this, thank you for the suggestion anons.
No. 135957
I'm
>>135929 and I also never considered ADHD/ADD. It was when I went to a psych for drug and eating disorder related problems it was detected. Most of my problems back then were related to ADD and vanished once I got proper treatment. It often goes undetected in women because just like with autism women tend to hide the symptoms better through social adaptation. Especially when paired with a slightly above average IQ:
No. 135958
>>135955I only took aderall 5 days a week to avoid building a tolerance and also didn't take it during breaks, but that didnt help.
Thanks for the other drug recommendations, Ill definely ask about those
No. 135959
File: 1462626686018.png (295.36 KB, 500x497, 9bUk96h.png)
I'm bumping this thread to complain about myself.
I hate myself for so many reasons but mostly because I know if I was anyone else, I would definitely hate myself. I'm stubborn and bitter but oversensitive and a whiner. I'm lazy and unmotivated, which brings everyone around me down. In fact, pretty much all I do is make other people miserable.
Plus, I imagine people are rejecting me when they aren't (thank you, mental illness) and overreact to it. One of my friends once told me that sometimes they couldn't understand me because I mumble instead of talk and I went home and cried then deleted and blocked them off everything. Fffs, I'm ridiculous.
No. 135961
>>135927Man, me too. I don't blame other people, I know that if I was more interesting I would either have more interesting friends or I would be able to make the conversation interesting. But a lot of the time it just doesn't feel worth hanging out with people unless there's alcohol involved to force us all to be more entertaining. I don't even really like drinking though, so I just ignore people and have lost contact with almost everyone I've ever been friends with. I definitely can't find a man I like enough to spend lots of time with either, so I'm perpetually single.
I don't know what's wrong with me but being alone doesn't bother me at all. People just can't be more interesting than fiction or music or the internet, it's a drag having to ditch those things for real conversation. And I don't have to worry about my own insecurities that pop up whenever I have to interact with people (thinking I've said something embarrassing etc). I just don't know how sustainable being a loner is, I've been doing it for about 6 years but surely I'll start feeling it eventually.
No. 135962
File: 1462687957408.png (460.71 KB, 600x725, aa148b21415d6483508cf9c2010cbd…)
I hate myself so much and I'm so insecure that I'm basically an attention whore. I constantly need people talking about me, even if it's bad, I'll purposely start shit just to get people talking. My look all reflects on this too, typical whore showing off too much to get some looks, always showing off cuts in hope that someone will ask if I'm okay. People paying attention to me is the one way I feel real, I suffer from a lot of "unreal" feelings and stuff.
And yet, despite wanting attention, I still break down when I have to talk to someone. so pathetic.
No. 135967
How do you let someone know they have a shitty personality?
I have this friend and we've been friends since we were 12 (we are both 21), and she's been one of the people that i've been closest with for a very long time. She moved away for a year, and i'm not really sure what happened.. I think she ended up being very well-liked at her school and started partying/ clubbing a lot (which is fine), but i'm starting to think it changed her for the worst.
She's sexist towards men, really embarrassingly loud, really self absorbed (talks about how many people want to fuck her, how hot she is constantly) and uncompassionate, has a hard time remembering anything because she smokes pot all the time and not self- aware at all (constantly makes racist comments towards others). I also have a hard time bringing her around new people and my roomates because she comes on VERY strong and speaks about 5 octaves higher than everyone ever. As a sidenote she has BPD and it's recently gotten worse, as she becomes very manic and has a hard time containing her excitement.
I love her to bits but recently i've been thinking about dropping her, but i'm her favourite person. None of my roomates like being around her and my boyfriend hates her, but she's literally one of my only friends. I know my old best friend is inside of this loudmouthed show-off but i don't know how to make her realize that she needs to work on herself in different ways than she has been. I recently convinced her to get medicated for her BPD and i'm hoping this helps a bit and makes her have more of a filter?
Any advice? Should I just stop being her friend? Is there a way to tell her she's being shitty in a not mean way?
(ps i know all of this makes me sound like a garbage human because I have like no friends, but I promise im ok)
No. 135968
I'm REALLY fucking petty about wanting people to like me. As in, if someone says they don't like me I'll be really fucking annoyed and automatically hate them even if they've not done anything wrong besides just saying or hinting so.
It's not because I think I'm so great so I can't see why some wouldn't, I just like having peoples' approval. They could despise me deep down, but if they acted nice around me I wouldn't give a fuck because I'd have what I want.
I've never been really popular but I wish I knew the feeling of being one of those bitches with 2k friends on facebook, constantly having people blowing up my phone, and having hundreds of people follow my mundane and boring IG and Twitter. I don't even have social media.
I want to be queen bee but I don't want to put in the work. I'm one of those people who will take hours or days to respond to a text/IM, and I was definitely that kid who back in chatroom days would say 'brb' and never return to talk.
I like it when people approach me and talk to me first because it makes me feel wanted and important to somebody, however that just makes my unpopular situation even worse.
And I'm disgustingly bitter about people who do have large support circles, like people who can set up a patreon in a time of need and receive thousands just for minor problems like having something happen where they can't pay rent for a month. Or getting thousands donated to their charity causes just because people want to see them succeed.
I don't outwardly act like an attention whore, because again I hate disapproval no matter how minor, but holy shit sometimes I just wanna go Kate-tier and just start doing my own thing and pretending to give a shit about causes just so I can be known.
God knows that bitch is petty and introverted as fuck but there she is getting her way and getting into the GLB ffs. She's not even pretty, but she made her brand around hideous glasses, emo hair, and bad makeup!
No. 135969
I think at the core of my being, I'm a nice enough person. But my shit personality REALLY comes out when I'm at work, and it doesn't help that I work with the public. I do whatever I can to avoid eye contact with or talking to customers, and I'm always a sarcastic asshole. It's the small talk that fucking grates on me. The hi how are you's, talking about the weather, complaining about our card readers having too many questions, that sort of thing. I get irrationally angry when I'm trying to be short with a customer and ring their shit out so I can move on, and they're asking me how my day is going. Like, I know that it's just friendly meaningless small talk, but I don't know you, it's none of your god damn business how I'm doing. Anyone else feel me?
No. 135970
File: 1465220683195.png (26.82 KB, 846x680, tumblr_o290qoZ07H1uf58t0o1_128…)
sometimes i go on social media and look at girls fatter/uglier than me for validation
No. 135971
>>135970I love looking at girls from my elementary/high school on fb and see who of them got fat or who didn't even graduate and ended up having kids instead of pursuing an education and still live in my shitty ass small town.
Ops.
No. 135972
>>135960me.
I am so jealous over my best friend as back in highschool, even though me and her were similar in that we didn't talk a whole, just kept to ourselves, everyone would talk to her instead of me. I tried my hardest to come off as sweet, and nice, and everyone thought so, but they never really made efforts to actually talk to me. I want to talk to people but I feel like I'm annoying everyone, and that I'm talking too much and I honestly don't get social cues. I don't know when the proper time to be talking to someone, or if I should, or whatever. I am so socially awkward. But I'm trying to get better.
Guys don't really talk to me, and when guys really flirt with me, they are weirdos. Not in the neckbeard way, but the very wishy washy kind of way. They say one thing but do another, and vice versa. I keep blaming myself for it like maybe I just don't get social cues and maybe they tried to hint that they want me to leave them alone, but I just don't know. I feel like I have no personality, and then they realize. Idk.
I have such low self esteem. This one guy I was talking to, when I was texting him, if I saw he left it on read, I would be mentally punching myself like god why did I ever text him I'm so annoying he hates me why do I even try I'm so embarassing but then he will respond like a minute later and I'll be back to normal. This guy always tells me to text him too, but I still feel like I'm bothering him, but I also want attention. I wish I had more guys to talk to but I'm such an autist I can't keep convos up with anyone. I don't really text my friends either. All I do is sit at home playing video games, and maybe once a week I'll actually go out. It's awful.
I am extremely selfish, I don't like showing emotions like crying infront of others, and I would rather talk bout myself than hear others talk about themselves. I have such a bad habit of turning the convo onto me. But once again, I'm trying to change that.
No. 135978
>>135977Thanks anon for replying but when when I get angry I just get angry at myself and cry and make things almost worst for a bit
I'm trying to use a diary for goal setting though, I do want to change, but I'm just shit. I hope you're doing okay
No. 135981
I have a lot of personal problems (seemingly chronic loneliness, depression, trust issues) and I constantly act shitty cause of it. I put others down all the time, usually I'm joking but I do it so much, it probably doesn't seem like it. I act like the smartest bitch in the room, even if I'm not, constantly act like I'm better than everyone else. I put up a front that I don't give a shit about anyone or any fucking thing to keep myself from getting hurt. I really feel alone in my life but every time someone tries to help I ruin it with my "You couldn't help anyways, its not like it'll make a difference, you should just go away, I'm not worth the time or effort" and isolate myself from them.
On top of all that I'm an ugly motherfucker, straight up man face and a total fatty-chan. I would try and lose the weight but I'd still have all the stretch marks to remind me of it, since they are literally everywhere. I just feel really given up on everything. I've went to therapy a total of 4 times and still nothing changed, medications never seem to work either, I've tried a lot of them.
This thread is dead basically but hey, at least I get to vent, right?
No. 135982
>>135979I'm kind of the same way except I'd don't feel bad about it. I think objectively it might be "wrong", but I don't feel guilty because I feel incapable of interacting with people in any other way.
Almost everything I do, every social interaction I have, ultimately is because this person or that person might be useful to me or I might gain something from them. Whether it's just being nice to them or going out of my way to do favors/nice gestures for them, it's all with that goal in mind.
I don't think I'm a sociopath either. I think it's the result of an abusive childhood and being raised by a manipulator. That's my best guess anyway.
No. 135984
>>135981Apparent dermarolling can help with stretch marks. I've never done it but you've got anons in the skincare thread swearing by it.
Also therapy isn't something you can just do a few times and be cured of your mental ailments. You gotta keep at that shit for a while, and in some cases, forever.