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No. 1218977
>>1218953This has been my struggle my whole life, yet I went to college for art. I always think about what I could have been without cptsd.
>Family put pressure on me to share my art with them since a young age, over time it shut me down>I remember my dad screaming at child me for being too shy to sing a karaoke game he bought me. I remember crying because I wanted to sing for him but I didn't know the song. I Knew I could never explain that to him because he was irrational and terrifying.>Never felt safe to sing or make art around family again.>Tried to do graphic design in college but got too scared to actually make a portfolio to be judged by others so I did art instead>lived for approval from professors but was too afraid to ever truly be myself and get lost in a process>Only did bare minimum to graduate. Final work to display for a show was random shit. >I have no idea who I am or what I'm good at, all I know is that I love drawing the human body and one professor told me I was one of the best students he ever had>didn't realize I was traumatized until the end of college when I was diagnosedAnd here I am. An adult child who has emotional blocks around art, which I majored in. I have an iPad and an apple pencil and I struggle to use it. I feel like I have the most expression when I make songs, oddly enough.
No. 1219028
>>1219006fuck
nonny i'm sorry..
No. 1219999
>>1219983Yeah, sorry anon. It sucks. My family is muslim too, i just called it a cult instead of mentioning what religion it is because i didn’t want to derail the thread or start a discussion about religions lol just wanna be heard purely on a personal level rather than a religious experience. I have seen muslims that don’t stomp on their kids personhood so i don’t blame it entirely on the religion, my family happened to be
abusive and bitter and they used their shitty religion to justify being shitty.
also I genuinely view it as a cult anyways lol No. 1220696
>>1219999How are women treated in the Muslim religion
nonnie?
No. 1220703
>>1219429Uh wtf anon I’m a bpdfag myself and I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about. Some of you guys speak about this like it’s a universal bpd thing. Not all bpdfags have the lack of identity. It would probably be helpful to avoid these types of people that have traumatized you if you were able to identify more about what past “bpd” people have done and if it’s really bpd or more like narcissistic abuse. Bpd doesn’t excuse things like
abusive behavior. I personally have only been comfortable with breaking down emotionally with my family or my ex boyfriends; not all of us are low functioning druggies that are raging at the gas station attendant for not having cigs kek. Ik a lot of artfags like LC and generally speaking art circles are full of crazies with off the chart narcissism and
victim complexes.
No. 1220808
>>1220761yeah sometimes I wonder with mine being more intermittent if it's really bpd self harm or not. then again there's no model of consistency for how often bpd self harm has to be either. I feel like it's still not mild enough to be only related to cptsd symptoms though
the overlap is enough to make it difficult to tell on top of the US dsm not containing it. i wouldn't say I do it for attention as much as I do it wanting someone to either notice I'm not okay, or to more obviously alleviate my pain
No. 1222230
>>1220808CPTSD is NOT mild. It's just internal bad coping versus external. It destroys you, makes you terrified to move on and try things, and cripples you with the inability to cope with life in general. I'd say a big difference is whether you can point to a lot of your episodes being from emotional
triggers, versus seemingly random. There's a big difference between a cry for help and acting out for attention, I think.
No. 1223392
>>1223391Me too anon, try zoloft it helped a little bit
Still don't feel like interacting with the real world though
No. 1223413
>>1222230>it destroys you, makes you terrified to move on and try things, and cripples you with the inability to cope with life in generalI do have an extreme fear of failure and often don't want to do things or don't end up committing
>I'd say a big difference is whether you can point to a lot of your episodes being from emotional triggers, versus seemingly randomit seems like it's been both, both being under duress or just random bouts of sadness
then again it's constantly like I'm under duress so that would be implying I was healthy enough to have a long string of good days
No. 1223557
I'm so tired of holding on, I feel like things will never get better. It only gets worse. I sometimes wish I could go fully crazy so that people could see it and stop expecting me to be normal. I'm so tired of appearing normal, but falling apart inside. Thank you for making this thread. It's a sad, but comforting read.
>>1223391I know what you mean, I'm in a similar situation. I feel like watching the world from the outside I can see exactly how it all works, but when I try to put myself in that world I just can't make myself fit.
No. 1223724
>>1223391I'm there with you anon. I'm trying to reconnect with my real world self, I feel like my whole adult life was created on autopilot, and I woke up this year to realise I don't want any of what I built and I have to start over.
I am listening to my intuition for the first time instead of taking the easiest, safest path and everyone probably thinks I'm having a breakdown but I've never felt so purposeful.
No. 1223730
>>1223708Yeah, or the second I put myself out there and try something it goes to shit and I wonder why I bother, and it's clearly my fault that I'm a failure, then it takes months to recover.
God I am such a fucking lover. I had so much going for me.
No. 2530821
>>2530703I always saw it as
>PTSD = out of it and copingE.g. army vet who returned back home
>CPTSD = out of it but still in the culture that made it happenE.g. rape survivor still living in a misogynistic world where rape could happen again, she can't even go online without moids threatening women with rape, TV shows have women raped as a plot point, moids spam porn, no escape from the "not if but when" OCD spiral
>>2530698I actually kind of agree because I see cluster Bs as "abused child who acts out and grew up into an adult who just mimics and replays the abuse because that child never got to grow up in a normal environment and has no idea what being normal even is." And that's exactly why certain bpds are so dangerous even if they don't mean to be.
No. 2530991
>>2530701You = low iq = too much on reddit and lolcow.farms
>>2530821100% of bpds have been raped
100% of veterans have raped
See a pattern? It’s almost as if bpd is female ptsd but selfhating women HAVE to hate bpd . Just watch girl interrupted, where the protagonist literally was a
victim of child grooming but instead of being seen as a
victim she’s blamed as the denominator.
Bpd is not a bad disorder and the stereotypes about it are based on idiots who think every traumatized women are out to get you, when most bpds are just
victims of society and will keep to themselves.
No. 2530994
>>2530991i was raped and i've never been impulsive, manipulative or narcissistic. most veterans aren't like that too, unless
triggered. same for me. do not try to claim another label just to avoid stigma.
No. 2531005
>>2530994Bpd =/= manipulative or narcissistic.
Cptsd = bpd
And cptsd =/= ptsd
You want to compare yourself to a veteran who has raped civilians? Be my guest, but you’re exactly the problem why women don’t take psychologists seriously. You do realize “bippies” are considered loathsome by their therapists because therapists cannot treat chronically traumatized people. They literally admit that it’s easier to help someone process a car accident than a woman who has gone through multiple rapes, institutionalized youth care, parental
abusive and whatever neurological divergence problem they have going on that would still eb there even without the trauma. Aka the woman society hates. So you better stop villainizing a diagnosis that consist of women that are like yourself
No. 2531013
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>>2531005Forgot image
All of the symptoms contradicted themselves, there’s not a single symptom that doesn’t overlap with the other. Cptsd and bpd are one and the same, now the mistake is to group bpd with cluster b, but it’s no wonder that it has been, look at how hateful the retards on this female only (supposedly) are about bpds. Even though it’s our ptsd. ‘Nyways I am not gonna die on this hill that ptsd is not a misogynist diagnosis, supposedly it’s reserved only for male veterans, but lmfao. They can always choose to not go to iraq and rape their women but lol they had to fight for our freedom. (Psychopat men eww)
No. 2531017
>>2531005Nta but look…you can be both a
victim and an abuser. Contrary to popular belief they are NOT mutually exclusive. I think both you and
>>2531009 are both thinking in pretty black and white terms. The jury’s out whether BPD and CPTSD are the same thing (that’s for the next version of the DSM to decide), but I don’t think it even matters. If you have BPD you have a responsibility to get help and learn to control your symptoms. Trauma is an explanation, not an excuse. And it
is possible to unlearn most of the symptoms.
You’re not doing yourself any favors by denying that the disorder causes destructive, potentially
abusive behavior.
No. 2531022
>>2531016Bpd classically was given to an angry woman who is fed up of being traumatized
Ptsd was first given to vets yes, 20 years ago you’d have earned the diagnosis BPD. You’re so disgusting and are part of the problem. Of course i know ptsd nowadays is given to everybody just like adhd is, and there have been women diagnosed with BPD who are just covert and arent at all like what you said. Why do you hate the bpd so much? Because they’re a hysterical crazy woman. Can’t you see how misogynistic that sounds? Just admit it. You have all the symptoms of a borderline except the stigma that men and retard farmers (who are prolly men or sheep) have created
No. 2531026
>>25309912nd ayrt
I didn't mean to sound like I was saying vets are better than bpds sorry for giving you that impression nonna. When I said "certain bpds" I was thinking of my mom's schizo exbf who tried to kill her. I have a female bpd friend though and I help her through her episodes when she feels compulsive. She's attempted suicide before and has been disowned by her own mom so I feel protective over her. My observations about bpds came from that and wasn't meant to come across as dismissive or something negative.
No. 2531031
>>2531017Misread it. I fully agree. Though the black and white thinking is a bpd/cptsd symptom
Hehe. Yes, stigmatizing somebody who is already traumatized is not gonna help anybody except the people who enjoy belittling others. I have been diagnosed with cptsd, prior with bpd, idek if they have dropped the bpd thing or not, from what i know is that my laundry list of traumas is just something therapists don’t understqjd how they can deal with, and frankly said, idgaf. I am working hard on improving my patterns and shit even if therapists basically admit that they can’t cure me from my cptsd
>>2531026Isn’t that just psychopatic/sociopathic?
No. 2531038
>>2531030Ok retard. Go play the
victim somewhere else.
(infighting) No. 2531059
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No. 2531071
>>2531066Yup. No one is allowed to b a
victim except them. They can't stand not being the center of everyone's worlds 24/7.
No. 2531076
>>2531013Your shitty cherry picked graph proves nothing. BPD is inheritable and doesn't always need trauma to be present, CPTSD is not inheritable and is directly caused by trauma. Stay in your own thread and quit speaking over others and trying to co-opt their diagnoses because you refuse to take accountability for your own. We get it, nothing is ever your fault, you're a perfect
victim through no fault of your own and can't help treating others awfully as a trauma response. CPTSD sufferers don't feel a need to manipulate others or purposefully put themselves in danger and suicide attempts to gain pity. Just because you found a few shared traits does not make them one and the same because you want them to be.
No. 2531085
>>2531015Typical bippie gaslighting behavior.
>>2531022>Bpd classically was given to an angry woman who is fed up of being traumatizedYou just love to quote anecdotes with no factual basis, don't you? While that may have happened OCCASIONALLY, and some CPTSD sufferers have been misdagnosed with BPD, there is are huge undeniable differences that separate BPD from CPTSD.
No. 2531100
>>2531098People on this website are so obsessive over bpd its kinda disturbing
Anyways what do you guys think of the similarities of autism and cptsd?
No. 2531105
>>2531100I haven't heard about an autism - cptsd correlation but that's interesting. socializing can be quite stressful for people with cptsd.
I have heard about adhd and cptsd overlapping, specifically because disassociation/etc. causes you to be inattentive
No. 2531256
>>2531129U probably got misdiagnosed. Every person I met w BPD has pretty much no sense of self.
Imo women get way over diagnosed with BPD while men are under diagnosed. There's alot more males with BPD than people realize but they rarely get help and when they do they mostly diagnosed with depression or some shit bc BPD is seen as a woman's PD. It's retarded
No. 2532200
>>2531143>>2531256Yeah I think I was misdiagnosed with BPD but it’s annoying bc CPTSD is kind of a newer term and it has so much “overlap” with BPD stuff. I also despise how my symptoms and background are assumed to be BPD. Like for instance people will see old self harm scars and just assume you have BPD right off the bat kek.
>>2531636Yeah I guess so. My biggest complex is my scarred arms though. I’m the only one in my office who wears long sleeves everyday and I feel so self conscious about them slipping and people seeing the scars all over my wrists and stuff. Ik this isn’t really related to CPTSD but I feel like my old scars are the only thing that hold me back from being able to pretend nothing ever happened to me. Otherwise I would wake up a “different person” tomorrow and pretend my childhood was perfectly normal.
No. 2532252
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How do you make the nightmares go away? I'm proud to have healed a lot and I don't really struggle with the past all that much anymore, I can talk about what happened without feeling torn up about it, but I still get nightmares constantly. They're usually very literal remixes about situations like being threatened, assaulted, stalked, forced, ostracized, etc. I could fit both PTSD and CPTSD because I had both long-term and acute trauma but since CPTSD is a newer term I only had official diagnosis for PTSD, although like I said my symptoms have improved a lot from when they were at their worst.
All the advice I find is either generic stuff about healing from the pain, which I've already made a ton of progress on and I'm not sure what more I can consciously do besides continuing what I'm already doing, or people coping with substances like alcohol or weed. Some sources said they might be a chronic symptom even after significant improvement. Is there really no way to make them stop?