[ Rules ] [ ot / g / m ] [ pt / snow / w ] [ meta ] [ Discord ]

/ot/ - off-topic

Name
Email
Subject
Comment
File
Youtube
Password (For post deletion)

File: 1468179329312.jpg (56.73 KB, 366x488, portrait-of-mother-holding-son…)

No. 102090

How do you honestly feel about having kids one day? Something to look forward to or something to avoid at all costs?

No. 102107

I want 3, possibly 4. Having a big family with many siblings was one of the few aspects of my childhood that I adored.

No. 102109

My bf and I want 1 or 2 but we re scared we wont be able to afford them. im also scared i will look like a potato after giving birth

No. 102110

>>102109
If Shaneequa and Juanita can both manage to produce 7-12 kids each, we can at least give it a shot.

No. 102112

i really don't want kids, way too much noise and responsibility for me tbh

No. 102115

I think there is something really beautiful about motherhood/fatherhood.

No. 102117

>>102110
Why are you aspiring to be like Shaneequa and Juanita? It's almost like you want to be a welfare potato.

No. 102119

I feel like a lot of people are polarized on the subject, but I don't care either way about having children. If it happens, it happens.
However, I'd be scared to have a child because I don't think this world is good enough for anyone to be brought into it involuntarily. There's too much bad shit. I would want to give everything to the kid and offer them the best opportunities possible, and even then I'm afraid it wouldn't be enough. I think it's a bit selfish to willingly have children when you aren't in the most impeccable life circumstances, just because you think it's "beautiful" or whatever. This is someone's life, not a tattoo or a piece of jewelry.

No. 102122

>>102117
Well in the US being a mom is the closest you can get to having European-tier welfare, there are a lot of programs that get you free food and money.

No. 102123

>>102117
I don't mean we need to produce endless spawn but I'm saying 3 kids is doable and is nice.

No. 102124

>>102118
Except that in terms of living standards, this is literally the greatest time alive to be a human being.

No. 102125


No. 102127

I don't want any.

No. 102129

Not interested in kids at all, never have been. I just really don't see the appeal, except maybe having a relationship with adult children. I hate that, as a woman, I'm expected to looooove kids, while men are allowed to be much disinterested over the whole thing. I'm also getting to the age where people around me are starting to pop them out and it's really exhausting having to feign enthusiasm.

No. 102135

I'm completely self-absorbed and would much rather use my own money to pamper myself than to bring up a child that will only hate me for the first 20 years of its life.

No. 102151

I told my boyfriend that if we can get an Au Pair then we can have a child.

No. 102196

>>102124
>>102125
That's not saying much lmao.

No. 102211

I think it'd be pretty selfish, considering how my mentally ill me and my boyfriend are. I think I'd rather enjoy life and create a different sort of legacy.

No. 102226

There are a lot of kids out there in orphanages, so I'd rather adopt. I'm an only child and my parents are fairly traditional, so I'm going to have a great time justifying my decision when my time to settle down comes.

No. 102275

Probably won't have any. I run hot and cold emotionally and it wouldn't be fair to a child to have a mother that can't be bothered with them much of the time. I also have very severe mood swings sometimes; I'm afraid I would be abusive. Between that and never wanting to possibly pass down my depression and mental illness I can't see ever having a child or even adopting.

I'm glad that my parents aren't pressuring me about kids; I've said since I was a little girl that I didn't want children and my mom took it to heart.

No. 102285

>>102090
I've wanted to adopt children when I was older for years. But taking care of a bratty 4 year old and sick baby for an entire day has made me really reconsider. I'm now terrified I'd end up with a child I don't like or I'd end up disappointing. I don't know that I can handle a child past toddler-hood. I can hardly make it through the day with the kid to begin with.

No. 102288

>>102285
Different farmer here. I used to think I wanted to adopt but I've read too many sad, frustrating, sometimes scary stories about children with emotional detachment disorders. I'd be afraid of adopting a violent child I would never be able to connect with.

No. 102299

There's enough kids in the world. I'm doing the world a favor by never having kids. I don't care much about my family's legacy. My sister is already having a kid so I not obligated to have a kid of my own.

>have babies

>force everyone to be super defensive around baby for 25+ years

I don't think I'll be a good mother. I'm already stressing over work and college. I don't need a kid in my life to introduce more stress. When I graduate I just want to work and spend my money on some good food and entertainment. I don't care about sex. I don't about romance. Maybe I'll die alone, but at least I'll be independent and be free to go wherever without worrying about needing a babysitter.

No. 102305

I'm way too crazy for that. I can't stay with any one person for too long before I'm bored to death, so I probably won't marry, so kid won't have a father. I like the freedom to dump whomever whenever and move across the country as I please. Besides, I have an amazing mother who'd do anything for me and I know I wouldn't be able to be that person. Besides, the field I work on won't really allow me to afford a kid.


But the only real reason is I fucking hate kids and I see no point in ruining my body and wallet with one. But nobody takes me seriously when I say that, or they call me selfish. So there, a collection of good excuses.

No. 102307

>>102112
Same, its too much waste of money and It requires attention plus other stuff.
I prefer buy a house or travel.

No. 102309

I want kids someday but I'm only 25 and don't even have a boyfriend so it's not going to happen anytime soon. 2 is my maximum amount though, getting only one would result in a spoiled brat and 3 would be too expensive.

No. 102348

Is anyone else absolutely terrified of having their kid grow up to be a terror, no matter how well you treat them? I don't know how I'd react if my kid starting doing hard drugs or whatever else.

No. 102350

>>102305
>buhh muh body muh free time muh wallet muh FREEDOM
I swear this is every woman under 27 I know. Then after their 30's they just happen to get kids because the thought of dying alone and forgotten without a legacy gets to them. The infinite free time gets boring and repetitive after you hit your mid 40's and then it's too late to have kids.

Then again this board's average age is around 19-21 so I shouldn't be surprised. Children don't want to have children themselves so it makes sense.

No. 102354

>>102350
>infinite free time gets boring and repetitive
Are you a NEET? What kind of person has 'infinite free time'? Maybe post-retirement you have more free time without kids, but then you can start spending the money you saved from not having kids and go on cruises or whatever else you want.

No. 102356

I'm so mad that in my country you can't have your tubes tied until you're 30. I do understand that people who are 20-something can't always decide if they do want kids or not, but I think the age limit should be negotiable at least.

I adore little kids, they can be so cute and funny, but I would rather fiddle myself with a hanger than have one myself. I'm 24 at the moment, so everybody thinks that I'm going to change my mind (I mean I could of course, but it's fucking unlikely). I can hardly remember to feed myself, and as an introvert I can't handle human interaction for more than 48 hours at a time if I really really really like the person.

I want my tubes tied so badly, because I had to give up pills for a few years due to mental health, and I'm just going to a doctor in a few weeks to get new ones, and I'm so afraid they will fuck me up again. Condoms are great, but I want to be extra sure that I will not be having a future serial killer growing in me (because if I had a kid, it would most likely grow into a fucked up human being because I would rather invest my time in my career than in a mustard machine)

People who do want to have kids and start a family are fine to me, I'm not anti-kids or anything. All power and fertility to them by all means.

No. 102357

Besides me and my fiance being poor af, everyone in my family (self-included) has either killed themselves or has debilitating mental illnesses, so no kids for me, I'm not that cruel.

No. 102361

>>102348
This. I see many children who had ok parents turning out fuckups, spoiled brats or just generally terrible pieces of shit. I wouldn't mind if they don't have a dream job or anything, I just want them to grow up into good people.

No. 102367

>>102361
>ok parents
I hope you don't mean those child worshippers with their "stressless upbringing" methods? Too much stress can rpoduce fuck ups, but complete lack of punishment/stress produces spoiled shits. There is nothing wrong with punishment for bad action or behavior.

No. 102378

I wouldn't mind one or two, but before I have them, I need to get a few 'pre-requisites' down:

> developed a cohesive, secular culture in the family with a clear, congruent philosophy

> become able to successfully dispel and deconstruct sexuality and other taboo topics with children at a young age
> built up a network of family and close friends in an area with shared values and goals; essentially promote a small community unit
> prepared a curriculum of academic and psychosocial activities for the child at each age, and have it available for adjustment based on personality
> successfully manage to negate most toxic side effects of my upbringing, and prevent them from spilling onto the child

These are just a few off the top of my head; they're intended to counteract a lot of failure points in child rearing that I've noticed. In terms of material goods, I'm probably going to promote a pretty austere life for the child.

I'll start off with a structured, disciplined lifestyle for the first few years; and then slowly inject some intellectualism and easier to grasp philosophies (e.g: Stoicism, Platonism, secularized Sikhism) to promote development of 'conventional morality'. A few years down I'll try to put in a bit more diffuse topics like existentialism and Theravada buddhism. Hopefully that'd help the development of a post-conventional morality.

No. 102381

>>102367
tbh I think my parents did a good job at not treating me with punishment or stress, though that's probably because I'm already so anxious that it wasn't even necessary. My sister used to do a more agressive treatment with me and I really resent her for it.

You're probably right about most kids, though.

No. 102383

Kids are annoying so no

No. 102387

I like kids when they are just learning how to talk and at that age they are cute to look at but the idea of pushing something roughly the size of watermelon out of myself is enough to put me off. I'd be afraid of spawning a bratty or autistic kid as well.

No. 102402

>>102348
Yup. There's only so much you can do to influence your kids. They can be influenced by things outside the family - friends, schoolmates, even internet bullshit. It sucks to know they could turn out to be horrors no matter how awesome their parents are.

No. 102404

>>102350
>>102354
"Infinite free time" is a dumb reason to have kids imo. Nobody is boring enough to require kids to liven shit up after 40, especially when there is so much more to do out there. Some people just don't want kids, won't have them and they'll live perfectly happy and exciting lives without them.

No. 102409

>>102350
Did a woman who doesn't have kids murder your entire family, steal your job and your dream bf, or had a drink while in your company - thus making you sad and miserable because you can't have any fun anymore because you popped a little potato meatsack at the ripe age of 17 and the dad abandoned you?

I'm so sorry for you, anon, I really am. It's never too late though, you can still smother the brat in his sleep and blame the babysitter. I'll be your alibi.

No. 102427

>>102426
>strawmanning this hard
Does your entire life revolve around black people and Muslimes? Holy fuck.

No. 102428

File: 1468269118107.jpg (58.52 KB, 599x395, X9fHrQf.jpg)

>>102427
Kill yourself shitlib.

No. 102442

>>102350

>dying alone, forgotten withot a legacy.


you're still going to die alone with or without kids. Crotchfruit can't go to the grave with you.

No. 102446

File: 1468274018036.png (129.68 KB, 450x300, 5090611 _cf95a804d596f36479862…)


No. 102456

File: 1468278142783.jpg (279.89 KB, 900x600, 1365320649001.jpg)


No. 102458

It's something I imagine I will want in my 30's assuming my boyfriend and I stay together. I can't see myself being a mother anytime soon, but I do want kids some day, and will probably look forward to doing so eventually.

No. 102468

>>102151
Why would you have a child just to have someone else take care of it?

No. 102470

>>102378
God, it's a child. Not a science experiment.

No. 102489

i was the edgy 'kids suck' and 'just gonna be the cool aunt' girl til i was like 20

and now i'm 25 and desperate for kids but i need to find a husband first :(

No. 102491

Yeah i could never have kids i'm waay to selfish and i also rather spend money on asian skincare products or traveling than food sometimes so no. I also have mental illnesses and they are a struggle to deal with wouldnt be fair to put a kid through that. And if my kid turned into some sort sjw tumbler fag who said shit like no mom i'm not going to vaccinate me or my future kids cause of conspiracy theories or some vegan bullshit i would beat them. Ive said since i was a kid that i never wanted children but came off sounding like an edgelord then but now i'm 25 and i still dont want kids. I'm a great aunt and a godmother though and i love those kids but i'm so glad i can easily return those kids to their parents and go home

No. 102493

I really wanted my own child before…I wanted one so badly that it hurt my heart thinking I wasn't pregnant. But now I'm just worn out because of having to raise stepchildren with a drug dealing, meth-head mother.

No. 102494

>>102378
>raising kid in conventional morality and only teaching it something else after kid internalized the conventional already

Might as well not teach your children at all.

I like the way you think, though.

No. 102495

>>102446
>>102456
>>102426
>not recognizing irony even when it literally slaps you across the face

I hope you don't reproduce.

No. 102510

>>102470
Raising children is an enormous responsibility; you're literally creating a person. Being systematic with how you feed and academically educate a child has been pretty effective. I think stuff like a child's cultural background and philosophy education could benefit from the same approach. Those things matter a lot, and I'd be in a position to help them with it.

>>102494
I don't think a post-conventional morality can be successfully achieved until you've first learned the conventional version. I'm also worried that immediately jumping to post-conventional is going to retard empathy growth and spawn a sociopath, or have them seduced by some ideology offering easy answers.

Plus, conventional morality plays well into keeping a disciplined, structured lifestyle in early years; and their prefrontal lobe development (related to impulse control and meta-cognition) is going to be a big limiting factor in terms of advanced morality.

No. 102519

File: 1468320347001.jpg (14.99 KB, 480x360, 1321993728002.jpg)

>>102378
Oh my god, this entire post. I'm laughing so fucking hard.

No. 102520

File: 1468320574419.jpg (9.74 KB, 240x200, 1392035509001.jpg)

>>102510
THERE'S MORE TO THIS?? STOP I'M GOING TO PISS MYSELF.

No. 102521

>>102495
Jokes on you, nigger. I already have two kids.

No. 102530

>>102521
>parents on lolcow

Wew

No. 102673

my fiancé really wants children. i am unsure at the moment. i know it's pointless to wait for a perfect world but i would at least like conditions to improve. i am driven to be productive at my art and not at the moment ready to sacrifice my work for my child.

i would never ever admit this to my family or my fiancé so this is very uncomfortable to say. long term - i want to want to have a child, but the realty is that i am not ready now. i'm not writing the possibility off but i also want to be 100% ready to invest my time and love into my baby, which i'm just not yet.

having a child or not will probably be my biggest decision in life so i want to tread carefully here. i'm just scared too i guess

No. 102679

>>102673
>i would never ever admit this to my family or my fiancé

Do NOT let your fiance or his family pressure you into having a child. If you are genuinely not emotionally ready to deal with everything that goes into properly nurturing and bonding with that child, you will fuck them up for life. This isn't a friendly warning; it's a fucking guarantee.

Don't be that person. You will regret it for the rest of your life, and your child will severely resent you as an adult. You need to be firm with your fiance and his family and let them know that you are not ready to have kids. Consequences be damned, girl. The alternative is not worth it.

No. 102684

>>102679
you're absolutely right.

definitely not ready at the moment, i've been open about that at least. if it comes down to them insisting and me not being completely prepared for loving and caring for a child, i believe i can put my foot down, for the sake of all the reasons you mentioned.

luckily my partner and i have taken our relationship very slowly and i think he will be understanding, as its a decision that involves both of us. the family stuff will be harder but it's not exactly their choice either

No. 102697

My mom is pressuring me to have a child too in the future. I've confined to her as a teen how I didn't want kids but now she's upset that I still feel this way.

I want to work at a studio and just travel and stuff with my boyfriend. I don't see what's the point of having a child just to appease he thrist to be a grandma. She's really good and guilt tripping me too, as well as the rest of my family.

They like to use my father's early death as an excuse to have children. "It's what my father would of wanted". She has 3 kids. There's still hope that she'll get grandkids from my other siblings but right now I truly don't want them

No. 102702

I want at least 3 if I can. 2 bare minimum. I used to hate kids but I just really adore them now.

No. 102719

I want at least 3, 7 at the most. 5 would be the perfect number.
A part of me wishes to become the woman my father wants -an independent person who doesn't depend on a man-, and the other part wishes to become what I truly want: a housewive. I never got to spend time with my mother as a child, and she always had different boyfriends, that's why I wish to give all the love I never openly received from her to my children (don't get me wrong, I love my mother, but I was really autistic back then, and I still have issues recognizing forms of affection). I'm aware my father truly just wants me to be happy, but I'm afraid I'll disappoint him, because he's the only support I've had in my whole life, and he doesn't want me to go through all the shit her mother -and in some point, my mother- went through because of abusive males.

No. 102722

I hate children, pregnancy, childbirth, babies and everything related but my boyfriend really wants kids.

>convinced my to go off my birth control

>came inside me for months and was all excited buying tests and shit when I was late for my period
>he goes to his cousins for a week
>gets woken up every day at 6-7am by their kids
>watched his cousin scream at them every night
>comes back and asks me to refill my birth control prescription
>doesn't fuck me until it comes it starts working

Thingswentbetterthanexpected.jpg

No. 102727

My brother is 21 years younger than I am… I adore him, I love kids, etc etc but when I babysit him for long periods of time idk anymore. I get… bored. Maybe it's just because he's completely obsessed with cars/trucks/things with wheels and I don't even know how to drive.
He's 4 and I'm 25 for reference.
So I'm not ready to have kids yet. Maybe later, but I just don't see how I could handle it. I couldn't work all day then come home and take care of my kid and do all the household chores, I'd break. I just don't have the patience, I really wish I did though.

No. 102739

I don't want kids now. My plan is to finish the two years on my implant. I'll think again about a kid then. If it's still the big no-no, I'll get another one. When this one will be over, I'll think again. If it's still nope, I'll start thinking about sterilization.
I think I'll be better off without kids. I have bad genes, deep mental issues, am barely able to support myself at 26 and want to come back to school. Inflict a life of potential hereditary depression and anxiety on a kid with a mother falling apart every six month seems really cruel.

No. 102751

I'm far too immature, selfish, lazy, unempathetic and sadistic to have a kid, I can't even look after a cat properly for two weeks

No. 102766

>>102722
>had unprotected sex for months
>b-but I don't want children, I hate them

How awful and self-concious are you that you do not want children (which is totally alright) but let your partner convince you to go off birth control pretty much against yur will, to try to conceive a child you don't want and have no interest in??

Good thing you didn't get pregnant.

No. 102767

>>102766
The girl subordinating her own free will for a guy is a a story as old as time.

No. 102769

File: 1468420851322.jpg (11.87 KB, 241x230, 1421429093818.jpg)

I'm a fucking mess and can barely take care of myself.

Gonna hit 30 in a few years and then I'll basically be useless for children, maybe people will shut up then.

No. 102772

>>102769
People asking when you're going to have kids will ramp up around 30 since they want you to be aware that your ovaries are about to shrivel and die. Seriously, it gets even more annoying.

No. 102835

I want kids. Opposite gender twins to be exact. The thing is I'm afraid of raising them the wrong way, I mean I can't even take care of myself so how am I gonna take care of the twins and a husband at the same time.

No. 102841

>good friend and I get on the subject about having children in the car bc our other friend is talking about having her own in a few years
>without thinking I said having children is unethical
>friend senses my inner edgelord
>"Why anon?"

I tried to say my half truth piece like I think it's better to adopt because I'm technically an adopted child even though I had a relationship with my biological dad up until 13. There are so many unadopted kids who will never have permanent homes until they're legal adults and can fend for themselves. That's so sad.

But I really don't see how it's ethical to biologically reproduce even though I've felt compelled to before. We live on a finite planet where if reproduction rates continue as they are, resources will decrease impeding the quality of living. More land will be used for living and so the fights over territories will grow worse. That's if we're not hit first by a natural or manmade disaster.

Why should I sentence a child and their potential offspring to that madness? Nobody asks to be born. Saying you're reproducing for 'legacy' is selfish and arrogant. Saying you're reproducing because at least there's an afterlife where you'll get another life or a reunion is a guess at best, and why wager something as serious as a life sentence on something that can't be proven?

And at that: What would make me a good parent and could I forgive myself when I fuck up? I don't know.
When I was younger and still believed in religion having babies seemed so natural. But now as an adult when I'm informed and have all these existential questions it horrifies me.

No. 102844

>>102841
>We live on a finite planet where if reproduction rates continue as they are, resources will decrease impeding the quality of living.

M'Butu and Sanjay aren't going to stop having kids out of some reverence for your wonderfully ethical western values, you idiot.

Actually, by adopting these turdlets from the third world you INCENTIVIZE their birth rates, just like you incetivize them with the World Food Program and Oxfam.

No. 102845

>>102844
>implying I would adopt a fresh baby from third world poo in the loos
Btw third world women need hormonal implants and shots. Condoms and pills haven't done enough because of cultural and logistical constraints.

I was actually thinking of adopting in-America, perhaps an older child or teen with a lot of issues that had trouble finding a forever home.

There's a few documentaries on older white women adopting third world babies for gov't assistance, and then making it seem like they were troublemakers to get them booted out before they got to an age when they would require money to be raised. If they just gave them up they would lose their ability to keep adopting kids in these rotary mills and lose their gubment bux.
I hate those people the most, and those are the kinds of kids I want to protect.

No. 102848

>>102841
Wow, you're the first person I've seen who shares the same opinion as me. I want to adopt children because having your own always boils down to selfishness or accident.

No. 102849

>>102848
Yeah, I see why most people consider it an extreme and edgy view but it really is because I feel for other humans who have to bear the consequences sown by their predecessors. I don't believe in god anymore, so it seems really absurd to keep producing humans on a giant space rock when civil society will inevitably break down.

I've had an abortion before so I kind of know how it feels to be under the influence of hormones and society, but I really think this difficult choice is the most kind.

No. 102865

I don't want kids but I feel bad about it. I'm white with a decent IQ and I guess I would make an intelligent white kids. It makes me uncomfortable to see all these brown dumb children at the school near my house. Guess that makes me a racist.

No. 102868

I'm white, with a graduate degree (MS) and my husband is also educated (programmer). Neither of us want kids. Having kids is 1) selfish 2) expensive 3) too much work. I don't want to adopt for similar reasons and for the added kicker that I don't want to adopt some crackhead's brain scrambled kid.

As education goes up, birth rates go down, because people realize it's all propaganda to produce more workers, and it's not noble or any of the good shit they want you to believe it is.

No. 102876

>all these 21 year old edgelords claiming "having kids is ~so selfish~
I don't even have kids yet I still cringe at this every time.

No. 102890

>>102876
Yeah I don't get it. Adopted kids tend to have problems that need correcting.

But I guess these people are sheltered do goodies who live in a safe haven with little to no problems in the first place. Kind of like SJWs bitching and whining about other people's problems even though they have no experience with it.

And I don't want kids if someone's gonna get all haughty.

No. 102895

>>102876

God, this. This so much. 'So selfishhhh oh my god, how dare you have kids it's so selfishhh' Eyeroll.

It's like the people on r/childfree. I've never seen a bunch of bitter people claim how good their life is without kids so much. Their projection is terrible and how sad do you have to be to sit there and bitch about kids? I get it, kids are annoying, but fuck me. I don't go on a board dedicated to bitching about kids and bragging about not having them.

No. 102898

>>102895
I know a number of "childfree" women in their early 30's. I swear they get more bitter, ranty and determined to convince their friends and family that all children are horrible and all parents are selfish the older they get. It's quite sad. You'd think if someone genuinely felt this was the best choice for them, they wouldn't have to be so defensive about it.

I'm 100% convinced they are projecting and have some serious, unresolved anger towards their own parents about how they were raised.

No. 102900

am in my 30s and didn´t change opinion I have from the age of 12 - don´t want children.

No. 102902

>>102895
Childfree is hilarious. They constantly bitch about not wanting to waste their time and money taking care of a kid, yet most of them have several pets (or "furbabies" as they like to call them). At least kids eventually grow up and learn to take care of themselves. You'll be cleaning up your 12 cats' shit until they die.

There are also a lot of teenage posters who somehow think that not wanting kids at age 15 makes them special.

No. 102904

>>102895
I get the opposite that i am very selfish for not wanting to have kids I dont get the logic with that but i hear it all the time

No. 102910

>>102898
I'd think they're defensive because their decision is constantly challenged and dismissed by most people they meet. If there wasn't a huge societal slant on getting women to pop out children and basing a lot of their worth on their reproductive ability, I'd be inclined to agree with you more.

No. 102914

>>102890
I'm anon from >>102841, >>102845, and >>102849.

>Adopted kids tend to have problems that need correcting

Many people understand this. Nobody adopts an older child and expects them to come with no baggage. I was an adopted child and I felt sorry for my stepdad who had to deal with my emotional problems that my biological one caused.

>sheltered do goodies

I mean you do realize that even biological children, no matter how well parents raise them, can develop physical disabilities, mental problems, or behavioral issues despite having no family history.
I don't see how potentially having a bad child is a valid point to not adopt considering it's a crapshoot anyway.

>>102895
>going to reddit
You know it would be like me having a problem with radfems yet visiting a feminist forum that attracts radfems.
You're going on a subreddit where people feel free to vent their most extreme, unfiltered feefees and you're surprised they sound angry?
There's also subreddits on how reproducing a brood of crotchfruit is the best thing ever–because god told them to!–yet you won't find me lurking there.

>>102898
>You'd think if someone genuinely felt this was the best choice for them, they wouldn't have to be so defensive about it
See >>102910.

>>102902
>yet most of them have several pets
And this is problematic for you because…haha it requires money so the egg is on their face? It's none of your business what people choose to spend their money on, be it animals or hobbies. If it makes them happier than taking care of a child would then it's a non-issue.

No. 102916

>>102914
>tl;dr: i'm butthurt because my parents didn't love me

No. 102917

>>102914
Quality post.

No. 102918

>>102914
>crotchfruit

Go back to r/childfree, seriously. You just outed yourself.

No. 102943

File: 1468522810488.png (692.42 KB, 701x520, 1341999889001.png)

>>102910
Right, okay. It's definitely only this for every single person who is child free and never what I suggested. Just like how cops are either all racist, or none of them are. Truly, there is no nuance to be found in life whatsoever and everything is literally black and white. Makes perfect sense.

No. 102944

>>102904
>i hear it all the time.

Has it ever occurred to you that your social circle consists primarily of meddling assholes? That's probably a bigger issue in your life than merely not wanting to have children.

No. 102945

>>102943
I'm saying that their defensiveness is pretty natural if their choices are regularly attacked by society, and it's a bit too simplistic to use it as proof of mental issues. And judging from your post, it looks like you're the only one looking at things in black in white here :^/

No. 102952

>>102916
>my stepdad and biological mom love me
Anon stop.

>>102918
Uh crotchfruit is my word and I don't give a shit if leddit uses it. Why don't you go back to browsing there if you love it so much.

>>102943
As I pointed out earlier, it's your problem for going to a place where radicalized people gather like r/childfree.
It's like me going to tumblr and getting mad when I see extremes like obesity body posi and BLM propaganda. You're being irrational.
>vocal radicals=/=the majority of people

No. 103040

I actually like kids, and kids always adore me, I just get along really well with them.
But in all honesty I don't really want kids. First, I don't want to pass on my mental illnesses to my kids. I've been suffering from mental issues since I was a child so I know how crazy/scary it is, I don't want to inflict that on a child.
Secondly, I hate the idea of childbirth. I don't want to get pregnant, ever. I hate it so much.

My long term bf has admitted he definitely wants kids in the future but I dunno… I don't really but I can't tell him that.
I don't think I'd be against fostering tbh, I would gladly open my home to someone who needs it (I think I would also enjoy trying to be a positive influence on a young person who is in a crap situation because I also had a bad childhood) but my bf told me he strictly wants biological children only, they need to be "his", for me I don't get the same biological attachment so idk.

No. 103052

>>102090 There are alot of anons here that are angry at others who don't want kids because of their past.

If there are people who are admitting that "Hey, I really don't want kids because I have issues to sort through, and I don't want to fuck them up.", why is that a bad thing?

I know I'm going to be told I'm bitter or hurt, but some of us are genualliy worried we can't provide the best for a child. Every kid deserves that at least.

If anything, it's because I care enough about kids to not risk it.

I applaud those that are able to raise kids. It's tough.

Sorry that this was all over the place. Didn't mean to be soap-boxey.

No. 103064

>>102944
Its my family who says this not my friends what am i gonna do, get rid of my family. Also why is everybody so fucking sensitive here if you wanna have kids have kids if u dont then dont no need to be a bitch about any of it (i dont mean you anon especially just overall everybody who is arguing here).

No. 103065

I don't even plan on marrying.

No. 103076

How do you deal with hormones erasing who you are? My biological clock has started rewiring my brain and it's terrifying.
>commitmentphobe, always hated babies, deep fear of pregnancy
>end up in long term relationship anyway, can't fight it
>SO very understanding of my fears, accepting that I don't plan to marry, have kids etc
>recently babies are actually cute, feelsweirdman
After all this time of being the ice queen I'm scared to admit to him that I keep finding myself fantasising about our possible wedding and future family. I feel like an imposter!

>>103065
Most insightful anon

No. 103079

I don't want kids. If I do at some point, I'll adopt even if I'm with a dude, there's way too many kids on the planet already that need decent parents.

No. 103091

I'm just glad I'm gay lol. I don't dislike children but I'd probably rather die than have any of my own. Too much work, too much responsibility. Not to mention pregnancy is terrifying.

No. 103092

>>102914
Many people do NOT understand this. You do not speak for all people you got lucky but so many more people are not as lucky as you.

>I mean you do realize that even biological children, no matter how well parents raise them, can develop physical disabilities, mental problems, or behavioral issues despite having no family history.

Where did I say this was not the case? Its so much easier to throw away something that is not your blood. Thats how the world is.

>I don't see how potentially having a bad child is a valid point to not adopt considering it's a crapshoot anyway.

Because people who adopt have rose tinted glasses and think they are doing good in the world, but then when the kid has issues, oh lets throw him away.

>thats so sad

Oh yeah, a hobo on the street is sad too, why not pick him up? All those stray cats too? Why just pick some adoptee?

No. 103093

>>103076
I was the same. You don't have to feel like a impostor. You naturally change your opinions and views as you get older. I didn't want children AT ALL. Ever. Until recently and now I feel like I'm ready. Next year or end of this, I think it's a good time to get pregnant or start trying.

It took 10 years to get to this point but…it's here. I want to be a mother and that's okay. I want to give my children so much love and good experiences in their childhood. I'm looking forward to it kinda.

…I still hate other people's kids, though.

No. 103094

>>103093
You sound pretty grounded about it. Did you make a conscious effort to sort of slowly phase in your new behaviours or did you just not even try to hide the changes in yourself from other people?
I know this is a solidly autistic question from a grown adult, but recently when I called a baby cute I got a lot of remarks about how I'd changed and I don't know how to deal with it. Can I also ask how old you are planning to have kids at?

No. 103096

>>103079
>I don't want kids. If I do at some point, I'll adopt even if I'm with a dude, there's way too many kids on the planet already that need decent parents.
I don't understand this excuse, it's not our personal fault that people breed uncontrollably.

Those places who have a very youthful population must be bastions of human civilization.

No. 103098

>>103092
>You do not speak for all people
…but you do and that's why you can sit there and tell me they don't? Pray tell, what's your personal experience with the adoption system and how adoptive parents operate? Where's your stats?

>Where did I say this was not the case?

Nowhere I suppose, and that's fine if you agree. I was making the point that obviously even if people have biological children it doesn't stop them from being "bad" for the parents or becoming orphaned.

>Its so much easier to throw away something that is not your blood

But apparently not because of all the unadopted and disowned biological kids. Kek.

>think they are doing good in the world

They objectively are doing the world a service.
Now whether or not they do it out of sincerity or because there's something in it for them like government money is different. But if they're taking children off the streets or out of government facilities that cost the taxpayers more money then they are doing good. It dissipates child homelessness, ergo adult homelessness. Homelessness and poverty are huge burdens on civil societies.

>hobo on the street is sad, why not pick him up?

Because there's a difference between adopting someone innocent through an official program and then randomly picking up an adult (who may not want your help btw) who wouldn't owe you crap given their legal autonomy.
That said: There are people who host "hobos" as well. People host homeless shelters or set up their homes for meals.

No. 103101

>>103096
Don't take it as a personal criticism if you want to have kids. Consider it instead as someone else's personal goal to not contribute to human overpopulation or to ensure that at least one more child has parents who wouldn't otherwise.

No. 103114

Fuck no to kids. I like having a life and being able to do whatever I want whenever I want without have to worry about snot nosed poopy pants following me around.

No. 103118

>>103096
I didn't say it was, why so defensive? I just don't personally feel the need to have my own genetic kid when there's plenty to adopt already.

No. 103248

>>103098
No I don't. I'm not on their or your side, but you are on one of the sides. I'm not speaking for anyone because I am on neither sides.

> I was making the point that obviously even if people have biological children it doesn't stop them from being "bad" for the parents or becoming orphaned.

Which was irrelevant because I never said anything regarding it.

>But apparently not because of all the unadopted and disowned biological kids. Kek.

You think some of them aren't thrown back in? They all just sit in there? please.

>They objectively are doing the world a service.

Rose tinted. There are underground adoptions that go on. And again, with acting like adopters are saints.

Innocent.. that sounds so sinister. But don't worry Mother Theresa, you're a wonderful human being!

No. 103257

My boyfriend wants one when we get married, but honestly I don't want to pass on my genetics. Being an autist means I have a good chance of passing it on to my offspring along with a long family history of mental illness. Plus it turns out I may have a rare genetic disorder that I don't want to pass on. On top of all that I have what used to be called depressive personality disorder and I don't to have a child if I'm going to be dealing with major depression off and on my entire life. I told him if he's okay with a donor egg or adopting, I'm fine with it in like five or ten years.

No. 103258

>>103114
16 year old detected

No. 103268

>>103248
>I'm not on their or your side

Yeah, you're clearly on the "I think I know everything" side and "people who do things I wouldn't personally do are wearing rose-colored glasses" side.
Nice non-argument. No facts, no stats, just your opinon and what-ifs. Yuck.

No. 103279

>>103258
bait detected

No. 105139

>>103091
Another genetic dead end.

No. 105213

>>105139
Not her but I'd take that as a compliment

No. 105215

>>102356
What country are you in?

No. 105217

>>103076
I didn't realize I was required to give an """"insightful"""" answer.



Delete Post [ ]
[Return] [Catalog]
[ Rules ] [ ot / g / m ] [ pt / snow / w ] [ meta ] [ Discord ]