File: 1468179329312.jpg (56.73 KB, 366x488, portrait-of-mother-holding-son…)
Same, its too much waste of money and It requires attention plus other stuff.
I prefer buy a house or travel.
>>102305>buhh muh body muh free time muh wallet muh FREEDOM
I swear this is every woman under 27 I know. Then after their 30's they just happen to get kids because the thought of dying alone and forgotten without a legacy gets to them. The infinite free time gets boring and repetitive after you hit your mid 40's and then it's too late to have kids.
Then again this board's average age is around 19-21 so I shouldn't be surprised. Children don't want to have children themselves so it makes sense.
I'm so mad that in my country you can't have your tubes tied until you're 30. I do understand that people who are 20-something can't always decide if they do want kids or not, but I think the age limit should be negotiable at least.
I adore little kids, they can be so cute and funny, but I would rather fiddle myself with a hanger than have one myself. I'm 24 at the moment, so everybody thinks that I'm going to change my mind (I mean I could of course, but it's fucking unlikely). I can hardly remember to feed myself, and as an introvert I can't handle human interaction for more than 48 hours at a time if I really really really like the person.
I want my tubes tied so badly, because I had to give up pills for a few years due to mental health, and I'm just going to a doctor in a few weeks to get new ones, and I'm so afraid they will fuck me up again. Condoms are great, but I want to be extra sure that I will not be having a future serial killer growing in me (because if I had a kid, it would most likely grow into a fucked up human being because I would rather invest my time in my career than in a mustard machine)
People who do want to have kids and start a family are fine to me, I'm not anti-kids or anything. All power and fertility to them by all means.
I wouldn't mind one or two, but before I have them, I need to get a few 'pre-requisites' down:
> developed a cohesive, secular culture in the family with a clear, congruent philosophy
> become able to successfully dispel and deconstruct sexuality and other taboo topics with children at a young age
> built up a network of family and close friends in an area with shared values and goals; essentially promote a small community unit
> prepared a curriculum of academic and psychosocial activities for the child at each age, and have it available for adjustment based on personality
> successfully manage to negate most toxic side effects of my upbringing, and prevent them from spilling onto the child
These are just a few off the top of my head; they're intended to counteract a lot of failure points in child rearing that I've noticed. In terms of material goods, I'm probably going to promote a pretty austere life for the child.
I'll start off with a structured, disciplined lifestyle for the first few years; and then slowly inject some intellectualism and easier to grasp philosophies (e.g: Stoicism, Platonism, secularized Sikhism) to promote development of 'conventional morality'. A few years down I'll try to put in a bit more diffuse topics like existentialism and Theravada buddhism. Hopefully that'd help the development of a post-conventional morality.
tbh I think my parents did a good job at not treating me with punishment or stress, though that's probably because I'm already so anxious that it wasn't even necessary. My sister used to do a more agressive treatment with me and I really resent her for it.
You're probably right about most kids, though.
Did a woman who doesn't have kids murder your entire family, steal your job and your dream bf, or had a drink while in your company - thus making you sad and miserable because you can't have any fun anymore because you popped a little potato meatsack at the ripe age of 17 and the dad abandoned you?
I'm so sorry for you, anon, I really am. It's never too late though, you can still smother the brat in his sleep and blame the babysitter. I'll be your alibi.
File: 1468269118107.jpg (58.52 KB, 599x395, X9fHrQf.jpg)
Kill yourself shitlib.
>>102378>raising kid in conventional morality and only teaching it something else after kid internalized the conventional already
Might as well not teach your children at all.
I like the way you think, though.
Raising children is an enormous responsibility; you're literally creating a person. Being systematic with how you feed and academically educate a child has been pretty effective. I think stuff like a child's cultural background and philosophy education could benefit from the same approach. Those things matter a lot, and I'd be in a position to help them with it.>>102494
I don't think a post-conventional morality can be successfully achieved until you've first learned the conventional version. I'm also worried that immediately jumping to post-conventional is going to retard empathy growth and spawn a sociopath, or have them seduced by some ideology offering easy answers.
Plus, conventional morality plays well into keeping a disciplined, structured lifestyle in early years; and their prefrontal lobe development (related to impulse control and meta-cognition) is going to be a big limiting factor in terms of advanced morality.
File: 1468320347001.jpg (14.99 KB, 480x360, 1321993728002.jpg)
Oh my god, this entire post. I'm laughing so fucking hard.
File: 1468320574419.jpg (9.74 KB, 240x200, 1392035509001.jpg)
THERE'S MORE TO THIS?? STOP I'M GOING TO PISS MYSELF.
>>102673>i would never ever admit this to my family or my fiancé
Do NOT let your fiance or his family pressure you into having a child. If you are genuinely not emotionally ready to deal with everything that goes into properly nurturing and bonding with that child, you will fuck them up for life. This isn't a friendly warning; it's a fucking guarantee.
Don't be that person. You will regret it for the rest of your life, and your child will severely resent you as an adult. You need to be firm with your fiance and his family and let them know that you are not ready to have kids. Consequences be damned, girl. The alternative is not worth it.
you're absolutely right.
definitely not ready at the moment, i've been open about that at least. if it comes down to them insisting and me not being completely prepared for loving and caring for a child, i believe i can put my foot down, for the sake of all the reasons you mentioned.
luckily my partner and i have taken our relationship very slowly and i think he will be understanding, as its a decision that involves both of us. the family stuff will be harder but it's not exactly their choice either
I want at least 3, 7 at the most. 5 would be the perfect number.
A part of me wishes to become the woman my father wants -an independent person who doesn't depend on a man-, and the other part wishes to become what I truly want: a housewive. I never got to spend time with my mother as a child, and she always had different boyfriends, that's why I wish to give all the love I never openly received from her to my children (don't get me wrong, I love my mother, but I was really autistic back then, and I still have issues recognizing forms of affection). I'm aware my father truly just wants me to be happy, but I'm afraid I'll disappoint him, because he's the only support I've had in my whole life, and he doesn't want me to go through all the shit her mother -and in some point, my mother- went through because of abusive males.
>>102722>had unprotected sex for months>b-but I don't want children, I hate them
How awful and self-concious are you that you do not want children (which is totally alright) but let your partner convince you to go off birth control pretty much against yur will, to try to conceive a child you don't want and have no interest in??
Good thing you didn't get pregnant.
File: 1468420851322.jpg (11.87 KB, 241x230, 1421429093818.jpg)
I'm a fucking mess and can barely take care of myself.
Gonna hit 30 in a few years and then I'll basically be useless for children, maybe people will shut up then.
>>102841>We live on a finite planet where if reproduction rates continue as they are, resources will decrease impeding the quality of living.
M'Butu and Sanjay aren't going to stop having kids out of some reverence for your wonderfully ethical western values, you idiot.
Actually, by adopting these turdlets from the third world you INCENTIVIZE their birth rates, just like you incetivize them with the World Food Program and Oxfam.
>>102844>implying I would adopt a fresh baby from third world poo in the loos
Btw third world women need hormonal implants and shots. Condoms and pills haven't done enough because of cultural and logistical constraints.
I was actually thinking of adopting in-America, perhaps an older child or teen with a lot of issues that had trouble finding a forever home.
There's a few documentaries on older white women adopting third world babies for gov't assistance, and then making it seem like they were troublemakers to get them booted out before they got to an age when they would require money to be raised. If they just gave them up they would lose their ability to keep adopting kids in these rotary mills and lose their gubment bux.
I hate those people the most, and those are the kinds of kids I want to protect.
Yeah, I see why most people consider it an extreme and edgy view but it really is because I feel for other humans who have to bear the consequences sown by their predecessors. I don't believe in god anymore, so it seems really absurd to keep producing humans on a giant space rock when civil society will inevitably break down.
I've had an abortion before so I kind of know how it feels to be under the influence of hormones and society, but I really think this difficult choice is the most kind.
Yeah I don't get it. Adopted kids tend to have problems that need correcting.
But I guess these people are sheltered do goodies who live in a safe haven with little to no problems in the first place. Kind of like SJWs bitching and whining about other people's problems even though they have no experience with it.
And I don't want kids if someone's gonna get all haughty.
God, this. This so much. 'So selfishhhh oh my god, how dare you have kids it's so selfishhh' Eyeroll.
It's like the people on r/childfree. I've never seen a bunch of bitter people claim how good their life is without kids so much. Their projection is terrible and how sad do you have to be to sit there and bitch about kids? I get it, kids are annoying, but fuck me. I don't go on a board dedicated to bitching about kids and bragging about not having them.
I know a number of "childfree" women in their early 30's. I swear they get more bitter, ranty and determined to convince their friends and family that all children are horrible and all parents are selfish the older they get. It's quite sad. You'd think if someone genuinely felt this was the best choice for them, they wouldn't have to be so defensive about it.
I'm 100% convinced they are projecting and have some serious, unresolved anger towards their own parents about how they were raised.
Childfree is hilarious. They constantly bitch about not wanting to waste their time and money taking care of a kid, yet most of them have several pets (or "furbabies" as they like to call them). At least kids eventually grow up and learn to take care of themselves. You'll be cleaning up your 12 cats' shit until they die.
There are also a lot of teenage posters who somehow think that not wanting kids at age 15 makes them special.
I'm anon from >>102841
, and >>102849
>Adopted kids tend to have problems that need correcting
Many people understand this. Nobody adopts an older child and expects them to come with no baggage. I was an adopted child and I felt sorry for my stepdad who had to deal with my emotional problems that my biological one caused.
>sheltered do goodies
I mean you do realize that even biological children, no matter how well parents raise them, can develop physical disabilities, mental problems, or behavioral issues despite having no family history.
I don't see how potentially having a bad
child is a valid point to not adopt considering it's a crapshoot anyway. >>102895>going to reddit
You know it would be like me having a problem with radfems yet visiting a feminist forum that attracts radfems.
You're going on a subreddit where people feel free to vent their most extreme, unfiltered feefees and you're surprised they sound angry?
There's also subreddits on how reproducing a brood of crotchfruit is the best thing ever–because god told them to!–yet you won't find me lurking there. >>102898>You'd think if someone genuinely felt this was the best choice for them, they wouldn't have to be so defensive about it
.>>102902>yet most of them have several pets
And this is problematic
for you because…haha it requires money so the egg is on their face? It's none of your business what people choose to spend their money on, be it animals or hobbies. If it makes them happier than taking care of a child would then it's a non-issue.
File: 1468522810488.png (692.42 KB, 701x520, 1341999889001.png)
Right, okay. It's definitely only this for every single person who is child free and never what I suggested. Just like how cops are either all racist, or none of them are. Truly, there is no nuance to be found in life whatsoever and everything is literally black and white. Makes perfect sense.
>>102916>my stepdad and biological mom love me
Uh crotchfruit is my
word and I don't give a shit if leddit uses it. Why don't you go back to browsing there if you love it so much.>>102943
As I pointed out earlier, it's your problem for going to a place where radicalized people gather like r/childfree.
It's like me going to tumblr and getting mad when I see extremes like obesity body posi and BLM propaganda. You're being irrational. >vocal radicals=/=the majority of people
There are alot of anons here that are angry at others who don't want kids because of their past.
If there are people who are admitting that "Hey, I really don't want kids because I have issues to sort through, and I don't want to fuck them up.", why is that a bad thing?
I know I'm going to be told I'm bitter or hurt, but some of us are genualliy worried we can't provide the best for a child. Every kid deserves that at least.
If anything, it's because I care enough about kids to not risk it.
I applaud those that are able to raise kids. It's tough.
Sorry that this was all over the place. Didn't mean to be soap-boxey.
How do you deal with hormones erasing who you are? My biological clock has started rewiring my brain and it's terrifying. >commitmentphobe, always hated babies, deep fear of pregnancy >end up in long term relationship anyway, can't fight it >SO very understanding of my fears, accepting that I don't plan to marry, have kids etc>recently babies are actually cute, feelsweirdman
After all this time of being the ice queen I'm scared to admit to him that I keep finding myself fantasising about our possible wedding and future family. I feel like an imposter!>>103065
Most insightful anon
Many people do NOT understand this. You do not speak for all people you got lucky but so many more people are not as lucky as you.
>I mean you do realize that even biological children, no matter how well parents raise them, can develop physical disabilities, mental problems, or behavioral issues despite having no family history.
Where did I say this was not the case? Its so much easier to throw away something that is not your blood. Thats how the world is.
>I don't see how potentially having a bad child is a valid point to not adopt considering it's a crapshoot anyway.
Because people who adopt have rose tinted glasses and think they are doing good in the world, but then when the kid has issues, oh lets throw him away.
>thats so sad
Oh yeah, a hobo on the street is sad too, why not pick him up? All those stray cats too? Why just pick some adoptee?
I was the same. You don't have to feel like a impostor. You naturally change your opinions and views as you get older. I didn't want children AT ALL. Ever. Until recently and now I feel like I'm ready. Next year or end of this, I think it's a good time to get pregnant or start trying.
It took 10 years to get to this point but…it's here. I want to be a mother and that's okay. I want to give my children so much love and good experiences in their childhood. I'm looking forward to it kinda.
…I still hate other people's kids, though.
You sound pretty grounded about it. Did you make a conscious effort to sort of slowly phase in your new behaviours or did you just not even try to hide the changes in yourself from other people?
I know this is a solidly autistic question from a grown adult, but recently when I called a baby cute I got a lot of remarks about how I'd changed and I don't know how to deal with it. Can I also ask how old you are planning to have kids at?
>>103079>I don't want kids. If I do at some point, I'll adopt even if I'm with a dude, there's way too many kids on the planet already that need decent parents.
I don't understand this excuse, it's not our personal fault that people breed uncontrollably.
Those places who have a very youthful population must be bastions of human civilization.
>>103092>You do not speak for all people
…but you do and that's why you can sit there and tell me they don't? Pray tell, what's your personal experience with the adoption system and how adoptive parents operate? Where's your stats?
>Where did I say this was not the case?
Nowhere I suppose, and that's fine if you agree. I was making the point that obviously even if people have biological children it doesn't stop them from being "bad" for the parents or becoming orphaned.
>Its so much easier to throw away something that is not your blood
But apparently not because of all the unadopted and disowned biological kids. Kek.
>think they are doing good in the world
They objectively are
doing the world a service.
Now whether or not they do it out of sincerity or because there's something in it for them like government money is different. But if they're taking children off the streets or out of government facilities that cost the taxpayers more money then they are doing good. It dissipates child homelessness, ergo adult homelessness. Homelessness and poverty are huge burdens on civil societies.
>hobo on the street is sad, why not pick him up?
Because there's a difference between adopting someone innocent through an official program and then randomly picking up an adult (who may not want your help btw) who wouldn't owe you crap given their legal autonomy.
That said: There are people who host "hobos" as well. People host homeless shelters or set up their homes for meals.
No I don't. I'm not on their or your side, but you are on one of the sides. I'm not speaking for anyone because I am on neither sides.
> I was making the point that obviously even if people have biological children it doesn't stop them from being "bad" for the parents or becoming orphaned.
Which was irrelevant because I never said anything regarding it.
>But apparently not because of all the unadopted and disowned biological kids. Kek.
You think some of them aren't thrown back in? They all just sit in there? please.
>They objectively are doing the world a service.
Rose tinted. There are underground adoptions that go on. And again, with acting like adopters are saints.
Innocent.. that sounds so sinister. But don't worry Mother Theresa, you're a wonderful human being!
>>103248>I'm not on their or your side
Yeah, you're clearly on the "I think I know everything" side and "people who do things I wouldn't personally do are wearing rose-colored glasses" side.
Nice non-argument. No facts, no stats, just your opinon and what-ifs. Yuck.