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/g/ - girl talk

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Townhall is scheduled for May 22nd, GMT 2PM.

File: 1527231140139.jpg (41.99 KB, 500x351, family.jpg)

No. 83389

Of course you can't predict the future, especially if it involves having a family or being married, but it's always fun to imagine!

Discuss how many kids you'd like, ideal husband/wife, pets, or where you would want to live with your family, etc.

I'm terrified of ever becoming pregnant because of stories I've heard but I've always wanted to adopt a child in the future. Along with getting married and either living out in the countryside or somewhere in the city in Europe. I know my current boyfriend and I have talked about wanting to have a dog and cat if we ever lived together!

No. 83391

I'm also terrified of giving birth and wanted to adopt a child when I was younger. Starting a family comes closer now and somehow my fear got better? I still think that it's horrible, but I want to know what becoming a mother feels like and I also want to pass on my genes. I think this might be something biological; suddenly I stopped fearing pregnancy and started getting all excited when seeing children. I always thought that planning a family/fantasizing about kids (this sounds wrong lmao) was square, but now I often think of how it would be to have a child.

That being said, I want to marry my boyfriend (have been together for 8 years by now) and have one child. I still think adopting a second child would be a possibility. I don't know about the place, but I do want to have a garden for my child/children to play in!

No. 83402

I want to have a sweet, supportive, and caring househusband to come home to everyday after a day at the office. His only tasks would be cooking and cleaning, otherwise he can just enjoy his hobbies and I'll support us financially. I'd also expect regular sex (almost every night is ideal), but from men that's a given anyway kek.

Ideally we'd live in a medium sized house with a sizable backyard and a bit of privacy. A small fish pond in the yard would also be cool, and if I have a chance I'd love to have a separate building dedicated to fish and insect husbandry since that's a hobby I wish to pursue. Sort of like king of DIY has. Although just one room in the house/having it be part of my office would be fine, too. I'd like our house to be filled with a lot of artwork and sculptures, and because I'm an artfag who has only lived in rented apartments since childhood I'd love to paint murals myself on some of the walls.

Family wise I would prefer to not have children, instead opting to be just an aunt if circumstances permit. I only desire a loyal life partner and some animals, it's all I've ever wanted. I don't even want other friends. The idea of having someone to love, provide for, listen to, goof around with, and basically spend all of my free time with brings me to tears. And I hope whoever I meet feels the same.

Sorry this all sounds so specific and spergy, the idea of this future is just so ideal to me and I daydream about it a lot. Thank you for this thread anon.

No. 83405

I want a husband who works from home and makes enough money that I don't have to work. I want to have a child every few years until I have maybe 4 or so, and I want to homeschool them. My husband will be home and willing and eager to help with things around the house and taking care of the children, so I can tend to a newborn and not feel overwhelmed by other responsibilities. I'd like to live somewhere rural with lots of beautiful public places to enjoy nature. Our children will not be isolated; they will know the other children in the area. We'll have some acreage around the house, and in a clearing, we'll set up a projector and movie screen. Though we won't watch much tv during the week, every week, we'll do a movie night and have other families come. The kids will watch the movie and eat popcorn, while the adults sit on the patio and have nice grown-up conversations.

I've been feeling really baby crazy lately, and I don't want to scare off my boyfriend. I know he wants kids, too, and he sees a future with me, but I just want his babies so badly. I think he'd be such a good partner and father.

No. 83409

Ahh I feel this <3 I always wanted to be a social parent! Know all (or most) of the families who live in the same area so my kids have friends to play and grow up with.

I def feel you on the whole baby crazy, I've always told myself I never wanted kids until one of my favorite youtubers had a child and she's been posting the cutest pics.

No. 83411

File: 1527275057774.gif (435.5 KB, 500x338, EYRpuaz.gif)

>I only desire a loyal life partner and some animals, it's all I've ever wanted. I don't even want other friends. The idea of having someone to love, provide for, listen to, goof around with, and basically spend all of my free time with brings me to tears. And I hope whoever I meet feels the same.
sigh anon are you me? this has always been my perfect dream
>tfw lonely as fuck

No. 83412

File: 1527280387616.jpeg (727.72 KB, 1000x756, D228EAE0-7BAF-4CF3-AC1E-974988…)

I’m lazy so

> 2 kids

> supportive husband who cooks cause I’m terrible at kitchen
> one well trained dog
> sweet old house with garden
> I’m myself chill but caring mom and my kids paint with me
> I still have interesting career
> me and my partner are equals and share workload in home

No. 83415

File: 1527284683727.jpg (160.75 KB, 1024x768, dded63c6-d13e-4494-9579-e40780…)

>housewife or working from home
>Tall, patient, butch of center wife
>1-3 adopted kids
>one dog and a few cats
>big enough income to get by and have a decent standard of life
>house in the countryside or a small town but within 60 minutes of a decent city
>non denominational school for kids to go to (most public schools are still run by the catholic church in ireland. hopefully this will be a thing of the past by the time i have kids but i worry about it)
>big garden with a tire swing and treehouse for kids
>books, art supplies and musical instruments everywhere
>network of friends nearby
>parents/siblings/extended family far enough away that they aren't breathing down our necks but close enough that they're still a presence in our lives

No. 83446

that sounds like a nightmare, no friends and spending all your time with the same person? I would be SICK of them.

How old are you anons? Do every woman starts to have those desires at some age in particular? Or it's up to our own character and personalities? I'm genuinely curious

No. 83447

I wanted that when I was 16 yrs old. I'm an adult now and my dream life is actually me and my partner not living in the same space lmao.

No. 83451

I think it might be personality since ever since I was a young teen I've always thought it would be great to be married to someone but not live with them lmao

No. 83456

>>83402 here, I think it's a personality type issue. I'm 20 and more well adjusted than ever, I also know myself as a very introverted person, not so much shy as I am easily socially exhausted. I'm not 100% asocial (clearly, I'm talking on an imageboard) but close, long-term friendships have little appeal to me. I'm admittedly also very boring, I love predictability and stability with no desire for fresh, "fun" experiences. Fun for me is like…going to the new restaurant in town or going to the mall that I've been to hundreds of times before. I'm a boring bitch!

And it might be a bit Oedipal, but I've always been close with my (equally introverted) mother and have grown comfortable with having one person living with me who doubles as a best friend. I had friends in school as well, of course, but honestly they were what made me realize that I don't want friends in the future kek. They weren't awful, just not my thing.

No. 83511

Ideal family would be
>qt husband with a job
>I have a job too
>we'd share the housework equally, not that bullshit about the guy doing 10% of the housework and feeling like he should be praised for it
>no children because I really don't want to get pregnant and adopting seems way too complicated anyway
>maybe a cat or a dog, or even both
>comfy apartment with just the two of us
>since we will both work, we could travel and treat ourselves often
>being married wouldn't be a problem if I wanted to keep in touch with my friends, same for him
So basically the exact opposite of my own family.

No. 83518

Everyone I know is having or just had their first baby. The other day we were out with friends and someone asked what's new with us, and hinted at us having kids soon. My boyfriend doesn't realize how worried I am that we won't end up marrying and he'll have wasted my time and I'll have to find someone else. Just because he has all the time in the world, that doesn't mean I do.

No. 83521

File: 1527370828571.jpg (94.61 KB, 512x384, tumblr_m5f941dqbY1qb95qbo1_540…)

Pic attached is dream house _
> tfw I want 5+ kids but the thought of having children past 30 makes me iffy…. thats almost 5 years worth of pregnancies…
> Cute kind husband who works
> I want to be a housewife who dedicates her time to writing, raising my kids, and other hobbies
> want to have a cute country cottage with a huuuuge backyard / garden. Anything with lots of grass trees and flowers really
> I make enough money on the side selling homebaked/homemade goods and we travel once a year

No. 83522

>being married wouldn't be a problem if I wanted to keep in touch with my friends, same for him

No. 83526

I wouldn't mind the married with two kids and a picket fence deal but as I age it's getting less and less likely, I've adjusted my fantasy to singledom. It's just as appealing but very idealized, I don't think I can pull much of it off
>retire young, well off, single and childless
>have a cute, clean, low maintenance townhouse (not an apartment but no garden to look after)
>spend half my time on productive hobbies, get good at sport, become well read, learn a language
>spend the other half relaxing, going out to eat
>stay attractive as long as possible by taking care of my skin and watching my weight
>casually fuck hot 20somethings with cougar fetishes
>have a gang of girl friends who like nerdy stuff but also like going out occasionally
>live near my family and see them all the time, hopefully my sister will have a baby so I can babysit without the long term commitment
>travel once or twice a year
>maybe a cat if I get ambitious about pet care, but if not… a pet rat or two

Sorry if this isn't what you meant by the thread but it still involves my own family at least

No. 83527

It's more like how married couples are expected to stop hanging out with their friends once they're married, I wasn't sure how to phrase it. I don't know if that's actually common but almost every women in my family had to stop seeing their friends once they got married because of their controlling misogynistic husbands. They still had a social life at work but not outside of it because of that and I would hate that to happen to me. In the case of my mother since she was either working at home, not working at all because of her disability or my father would prevent her from finding a job, she barely had a social life for decades and she still barely has one for example.

No. 83528

Oh thanks for the explanation,anon. I'm sorry that happened to your mother and other female relatives.

No. 83531

File: 1527373588089.jpg (940.55 KB, 3008x2000, garden_district_longue-rosegat…)

>no kids (decided this when I was just around 10)
>no marriage
Everybody always says "Won't you be lonely?", but just because I don't want to get married, doesn't mean that I don't want a bf. Imo that's actually a lot more romantic: just being together, not wanting to "share" him with children, just focusing on ourselves. In a sense my neighboors are my idols:
>cute cat
>throw garden parties for their friends
>often go with her sister and the sister's husband to shop, have drinks, dine, etc.
They really live only for themselves and seem by far happier and less bitter than many married couples with kids.
>have many friends
>be more active (just traveling to nice places in general, I want to see everything)
>he doesn't need to be super rich, but also not something like a construction worker who has to work long hours and is too exhausted to do anything when he comes home either
>Bonus: would be nice if he's handsome
On the one hand I kind of want to move to another country, but I also like my own family way too much, so no idea about that.
Dream house/locaton:
>can't decide whether being a weeb or my love for vampires is more important lol

No. 83533

I was worried I didn't explain it well because I'm tired and writing a bunch of confusing things these days. My mother is better off now, she made some friends a few years ago and she hangs out with them, it's just very rare and it pisses off my father but she doesn't give a fuck anymore.

Think of mariage as just a contract between two consenting adults, it might not seem very romantic to you but it's still very convenient for couples when it comes to taxes and inheritance, among other things. You should consider it if or once you're in a long term relationship with the guy you love just in case. If it weren't for that I wouldn't give a shit about mariage either tbh.

No. 83546

File: 1527384647080.jpg (79.83 KB, 320x492, 3c184bc4fd19d0c607f553950c7db5…)

I want to be Sally Owen from Practical Magic but not a widow. Owning my own shop, raising my kids with no money worries. I want to be stable and responsible but still interesting, and I've always been 'the good sister' the family relied on so I'm already halfway there.

No. 83554

Anon, are you me??

No. 83624

I want a nice sized house with a front yard so I can plant lots of flowers and have an apple tree, my own bakery close by (like at most 5 minute walk) and lots of dogs. I've flirted with the idea of being a retirement home for chihuahuas
I want 1 or 2 girls (twins would be ideal).
My boyfriend is already my ideal husband.
I guess I just want a baby girl and a business that I can call my own.

No. 83629

>Married to best friend
>Have an adorable dog
>We don’t want kids, but we would like another dog some day.

And a cottage like this would be ideal. We live in a flat in a big city but it’s common for people to have cottages out here (though most aren’t nearly as cute) and I wouldn’t mind moving to one or to a tiny house in the next few years. We don’t need a lot of space if it’s just us and two dogs.

No. 83630

File: 1527479353808.jpeg (75.28 KB, 478x400, E2322868-3E13-48C0-AD5E-6B3591…)

Dropped my pic like an idiot

No. 83740

I'm already happily married. Ideally I would like to have kids young. I'm 22, and already I feel worried that I'm waiting too long. (going to go on our honeymoon first this year, then would like to have kids after). I'd like two. One boy, one girl. I would like the boy to be born first because they tend to take longer to mature, and he can be protective if he is older. I'd like my second baby to be a daughter, one of each gender. If the two could be a year or two apart in age, that would be perfect!

Pets: already very happy. I have two cats and a dog. Though I would be extremely fulfilled if I had a little calm lap dog. A yorkie preferably since their fur doesn't make me sneeze as much. I think 3 pets is a handful already. So when the time is right, I'd get the doggie.

I'd like to live close to the city but a suburb thats quiet and peaceful. One with a park, the usual Target nearby, and post office within a short distance. Lots of asian food and grocers. The city would be nearby to go on family outings for fun! Hopefully the weather isn't too hot year round. I love all 4 seasons.

I'd preferably like to be a stay at home mom. daycare is expensive to the point I'm going to work just to pay for daycare. May as well stay at home and bond with my children and husband. I would like to go to disney on ice, a pumpkin patch, stroller walks in the park, chinese new year festivals, the mall, disneyland, the zoo, etc when we have time. at home we could watch disney movies or play board games together.

our house would be 2000 sq ft ish. id like a nice master bed room with a huge walk in closet for both of us. dual sinks. 3 bed rooms. one for each child and a spare for guests if a family member comes over or a sleepover for my children. if we have a finished basement, id put tons of cat stuff down there lol. a huge cat tree, toys, etc. A TV and a mini fridge, and a treadmill. im huge on interior design. id definitely want to have a lot of pink in my home, but id keep it reasonable. a nice sized yard for the dog to roam (fenced). outdoor grill, shady place to sit.

once my kids are middle school aged, id probably work part time and my husband and i save for retirement or our kids college fund!

No. 83750

Aw, this is sweet. I don’t want children but it warms my heart to see potential parents gearing up for it. But please don’t think you’ve waited too long to start when you’re only 22!

No. 83758

Relating to that movie their house is my ideal home, a big Victorian with a greenhouse, huge kitchen and land for a lot of garden and farming. I think it was overlooking the ocean too iirc.

All that aside I'd like to stay at home for a few years while raising children (I'd love to adopt two girls). I'm already married to my (relatively, this is real life) perfect partner so that's taken care of. At least one dog and some rats would be the pet scenario.

No. 83765

File: 1527625244968.png (476.37 KB, 1024x1024, d0e44816628a7b666e2ee820f14948…)

your eggs are already garbage. Do you have a little sister or cousin so you could be surrogate mother to a child somewhat related to you?(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 83781

I'm engaged and pregnant, I just want a wild little elopement with this man and our little love child. We live in a nice city apartment although it's a mess right now from me not keeping up with the upkeep, and in a good location.

He is ridiculously supportive and kind, makes little jokes and rubs my bump and texts me asking what my baby fact of the day was from my pregnancy apps. He has the biggest heart ever and completely 100% supported me without question through some seriously fucking dodgy depression some years ago, so I can't believe we are here living a dream I could've never imagined.

I like anons describing homesteading and such, I have a soft spot for some "free range" kid profiles on insta (not the retarded ones where the kids gonna have zero applicable skills or social skills), but I have always wanted to just elope with the guy and raise our one goofy kid in our apartment and eat cereal and watch Saturday cartoons and do stupid shit like blow up a paddling pool in the apartment and going to the zoo and finger painting and buying a little lunch bag for school

I am 22 which everyone finds obscene for me to be having a baby rn but my partner is older and plus we thought I wouldn't be able to have kids.

The only current downside to my lovely life is that I am extremely bedridden level sick from pregnancy and it's a real downer. It is incredibly difficult, I'm constantly roasting hot and retching and vomiting and can't eat or have to eat something stupid. (Its been 4 months of this shit)
But all worth it when we saw the lil bean on the ultrasound.

No. 83839

File: 1527675925235.jpg (614.29 KB, 1600x1149, ozkTjoK.jpg)

I wouldn't mind having a kid or two later down the road but that life seems to distant to me right now.

I first want to make a career and a (decent) name for myself and requires at least 4-5 years of working. So if I want a kid I'll be around 30-32 :/

There's just so much left to do before "settling down". I still have an intense need to travel, see the world and meet people…

No. 83842

File: 1527678297099.jpg (17.32 KB, 390x280, woman-scared-face-expression-g…)

>tfw I'm 32 and still haven't decided if I want kids or not

No. 83850

>I'm already happily married. Ideally I would like to have kids young. I'm 22, and already I feel worried that I'm waiting too long.
Is this supposed to be bait…?
You're just 22 and already married, that alone is extremely early. But thinking you've waited too long to get kids?! If you're dumb enough to fall for some robot memes about muh teen fertility a la >>83765 then you're obviously not ready yet.

No. 83863

31 is the average age for having a first child in my country and I'm waiting until I'm at least 30 to have my first. Everyone mentioning having kids in their early 20s is fucking crazy. How can you even afford a child at that age unless your husband is older and incredibly wealthy? And even if he is, I'd be extremely wary of a relationship like that because there's a terrible power imbalance and being a stay at home mom causes some serious isolation. I'd also hate to be way younger than the moms I talk to outside the school when I'm dropping my kid off.

I want to travel the world and save money for a decent house before I even think of having an expensive wedding and an even more expensive child.

I think every couple should have a dog before they have a child.

No. 83868

File: 1527703931735.gif (369.35 KB, 896x504, nkEAlir.gif)

>Everyone mentioning having kids in their early 20s is fucking crazy.

they're probably from somewhere not urban, like a medium town or smaller.
If you live in the city, it's crazy expensive to have a family. Even single living.

But out "there" even buying a house can be cheaper than an apartment. So it's much easier to start a family young.

>I think every couple should have a dog before they have a child.

I'm getting a dog before a kid but don't force your own ideals on others lol

No. 83870

They don't call them "test babies" for nothing.

No. 83875

File: 1527707403258.jpg (3.99 MB, 4088x4088, BeFunky-collage.jpg)

I don't think I'll ever get married to my boyfriend but if we do, it would be something really small between just the two of us. We'd go to a tiny European town on the coast (probably Italy) and have a non-religious ceremony, a nice dinner in the evening and spend a few days in a fancy hotel. That's it. I wouldn't even tell anyone until we got home.

My dream has always been to rent a tiny, cozy apartment in the middle of the city while saving for a house. I'd walk to all the shops we don't have in the suburbs like the foreign markets. It'd also have to have a decent-sized balcony so I could grow flowers and drink coffee in the morning. Something walking distance from a job I really love (I don't even care what it is or how much I earn, as long as I love it) and a gym that we can go to in the evening. Ideally, I'd love a dog but I know that's not possible in most apartments. When it comes to buying a house, my only requirement is that it's private. I'd love a job that allowed me to work from home so that I could live in the countryside where big, beautiful houses are cheap. I'd love to build a cinema room and have a big garden for lots of dogs.

Me and my boyfriend disagree on whether we want children. I'd wait until I was at least 30. I've always imagined having a child, I think we'd make really good parents and I don't want to be lonely when I'm older but I'm not sure if those things are good enough reasons to actually have one. I've told him about all what happens during pregnancy and he's concerned for me. I think we'd both settle for one child since he was an only child too but I'd be really disappointed if I didn't have a girl (and I'd probably try again if I didn't). He'd much prefer having a pack of dogs to a child but I think he'd be a great father.

I think ultimately, I just want to be happy. It doesn't really matter whether I'm married or not, whether I live in a tiny apartment in the city or a mansion in the countryside, whether I have kids or not or where I work as long as we're both happy. I just want to be happy with the choices I make in life.

No. 83877

I'm from the city and I promise location isn't a factor. I'm early twenties and a lot of the people I know around my age who have kids had to move back in with parents or are super dependent on both sides of their families. It's irresponsible and fucking insane but they do it regardless of how expensive it is to live where we are.

No. 83884

I wanted to start a family in my 20s but life has not worked out that way. I have the fear factor at the moment I'm soon to turn 28 and doing a master's but not currently employed. I don't know where to find information on what is considered an 'older mother'. My Dad and his sister have a horrible illness and although it's not genetic I am scared if I was to incur a high chance of having a child that would be disadvantaged, and especially since I want more than 1. I was a second child and my Mum had womb issues after my brother, I had weak leg muscles and had to have physiotherapy for a year to learn to walk. So idk if I'm defective idk!

I'd want to be financially secure. My boyfriend has a good job, and he has two sisters with children which his Mum watches. My parents wouldn't be able to help out I don't think and his Mum would have her hands full with her daughter's kids so I imagine I'd have to use childcare to keep working.

I use to fantasize about this more but honestly I'm just scared of the future and that I'm not skilled enough to even do what my parents did I'm already behind them going by age.

No. 83886

File: 1527716227774.jpg (46.05 KB, 406x406, ae7122d05eb1b5cd75575c42643d70…)

>married by 22 (i'm 20 in June, my bf is 26 and we already decided we'll get married after I graduate college)
>have 2 kids, 3 max
>first kid by 25
>practice attachment parenting
>i have an irrational fear of having my first kid around 35 and being "old" by the time they turn 18. and then having them give up their 20s to take care of my aging self, like my parents are doing with me.
>i also just want to be a "young" mother so that I can still take my kids out to go shopping etc when they're young teenagers and not be bitching the entire time.
>we live ion the outskirts of our current city, where housing is not as crippling-debt-inducing high
>maybe have a dog or cat, i would want my kids to grow up having pets.
>husband be a stay-at-home dad while i do my paralegal work
>he cooks because i a) hate cooking, and b) am not great at it
>maybe eventually become a lawyer if i decide to put kids on the back-burner during my 20s – one's gotta go, i feel it'd be too stressful juggling both

No. 83888

>i'm 20 in June, my bf is 26
That's creepy as hell

No. 83890

File: 1527717621398.jpg (268.03 KB, 900x600, portofino-italy-40-x-60-paul-j…)

My dream is to elope in Portofino, Italy and then spend the money we would've spent on the ceremony on a wonderful Italian getaway. Portofino is the most beautiful place I've ever been

No. 83891

File: 1527718096995.gif (648.24 KB, 1169x890, Serax_Ad_1967.gif)

I'm puzzled by the number of anons who want to be stay at home mothers. This puts you at a severe power disadvantage since he'd have complete control over the money. Why do you think all the Red Pill/Alt Right misogynists push for making women stay home? There may be no trouble at first, but as the years go by he may turn resentful that he has to go through all the stress of working and paying bills while you live a life of simple chores and "do nothing all day". He may start to verbally or physically abuse you or cheat on you. After all, what are you going to do? If you divorce you have no work history or experience and it's unlikely you'll find a job that matches his income. I grew up in a breadwinner/stay at home mom family and have some experience with this.

Another factor is the effect of doing the same repetitive, mindless tasks of cooking and cleaning day after day. These accomplishments don't last and don't challenge you and lead to much personal growth. This lack of fulfillment creates stress and anxiety and millions of women were prescribed psychiatric drugs to cope with anxiety and depression in the 50's and 60's as in pic related.

No. 83892

We met when I'd just turned 19, it's not like I was 16 and he groomed me up until now. Not everything these days is predatory; I've always dated older men. My current bf is nothing like the worst of them, who I talked about here >>77965. If he were, I wouldn't be with him.

No. 83894

It depends on the people. I could be unlucky, but every guy around my age (21) has been insufferable and overly immature. I dated some but I couldn't commit until I met by my current bf, 28. It's been so nice to have a dude with his shit together emotionally and just actually be mature about situations.

No. 83901

Damn that ad sure make me tense, agitated and irritable lol

No. 83906

How are you gonna fit 5 kids in a small house like that?

No. 83917

Agree with your first paragraph, but many many jobs also involve mindless repetitive tasks that don't provide much fulfillment or personal growth. Except you also have to get your ass out the door every morning and be professional.
If you can choose between being a housewife and having an interesting, fulfilling, challegning career than yeah, career all the way.
But I don't blame some people for preferring doing menial tasks at home, at their own pace, in their pajamas, over commuting to go do menial tasks while watching what you say and how fast you work.

It's easy to romanticize either path when you're that general. There are so many factors that would make it seem worth it or not to different people.

No. 83922


Its not about fertility anon. Its about age. I would be very happy to still be in a good health at 40-something while my child is in college, versus aging at 50/60 while my child is still starting college. If I can be healthy, I can do more for my child rather than rotting away in retirement and having health problems. I'm not trying to diss on older parents, that's everyone's decision. I just want to be able to be there for my child as long as possible.

No. 83923

My parents are in their 50s, I'm in college, and they're not rotting away in a nursing home lol. They're honestly more fit and active than I am. You don't become old and decrepit once you turn fifty. I really don't understand why you think 22 is too OLD to start having kids, unless you're mormon/member of another group where having kids extremely young is the norm…

No. 83926

>>83923 >>83863 >>83850

Lol at all you anons getting triggered. So what if people want to have kids young? If they have the financial means and emotional readiness, let them. calm down cancer.


>how many kids I'd like:

1 or 2.


I'm working on getting a degree in accounting. I plan to be an accountant.

>ideal husband:

somebody who's kind and not afraid to express themselves. Some guys are really reserved or serious.


I want 2 doggos. a pug pupper and a chihuahua.


in a small little country side. I like the style of townhomes or victorian homes with big front porches. A little swing would be sweet, with some flowers. Like roses and daisies. I would like to put a bird feeder and a bird bath.

No. 83927

File: 1527737052017.jpg (10.65 KB, 191x162, 45646.jpg)

I don't think those anons are concerned about other people wanting to have kids young they're just pointing out that 22 is by no means "too late" and you're not going to be "rotting away" in your fucking 50s lol.


good god

No. 83928

File: 1527737627600.jpeg (163.65 KB, 736x960, 14647509-E20D-4350-A60A-AD1739…)

I just want someone that loves me. Tfw no bf. Don’t care about the other details.

My first serious adult relationship was with an abuser who sexually assaulted me and I was a female volcel for 6 years after that. Literally had no sex drive, traumatized, didn’t want to open up to anybody. Didn’t think of sex. Getting back into dating has been something I’m starting to regret. I became comfortable being alone all the time. I keep meeting men, but I don’t feel like any of them understand me.

I think my brain is kind of broken. I’ve been depressed since I was a child. I don’t feel emotions very strongly but when I do, they are excruciating. The men I keep meeting seem to really like me, but they never care about actually getting to know me as a human being. Or they don’t like me at all. I think maybe I’m asking for too much. I want to be perfectly understood and I want to perfectly understand them. But you can never really know another person, and I don’t think I’m a likeable person anyway, since my “best” years were spent alone and isolated from close relationships, even friendships. I’ve done a lot of work in therapy to try to get past these issues and I’m not sure it’s made any difference all these years.

I’m starting to become convinced that love is not for me. It hasn’t been persuasive so far. I’m actually tearing up writing this out. I don’t like to think about this stuff a lot because it just makes me sad. I think I could cope with being alone for the rest of my life, but I deeply fear loneliness.

I think my generation (millenials) is sick with loneliness. When I browse online seeking answers I see a lot of people, not just other women, who feel like I do. We just want someone who understands and cares about us.

No. 83930

can you at least contribute something interesting to the thread instead of nitpicking.

I thought about having kids by my 30's, but I'm on the same boat as >>83389. Pregnancy and parenthood sounds daunting. If I get married, I would like a small little wedding with just a few friends and family. I'm not big on the whole bachelorette/bachelor parties, engagement parties, or whatever else there is. I'd rather celebrate it all in one go. If I'm engaged, ideally I would like to be married within the same year or two. I want to wear my mom's dress but fix it up a bit with some tailoring.

My boyfriend is ideal in my eyes. We've been together 5 years. I don't think we are both ready for marriage or kids yet. But we've talked about it just for fun. Two kids sounds nice. Three might be a bit much but if we are able to afford it, I don't mind a big family. Adoption would be an option too. Pets are a plus to the family. We have a cat and a dog. I would like a rabbit but they seem a bit harder to care for since you have to look after them more.

As for my dream house, I think a two story home is nice. I like brick designed homes. A big window for the cat to look outside and bring in lots of sunlight. A poorly lit house literally makes my mood feel sluggish. My bf likes to cook, so a big kitchen for the both of us. I'm not too picky as long as it has heating for the winter and air conditioning for the super hot summers. Some homes need remodeling and the temperature feels more efficient if there is central A/C and heating versus a heater and window A/C. Other than that, I'm just focusing on my dream job as a vet :)

No. 83932


I'm >>83415 and in my case, I have a chronic illness that makes the traditional 9-5 work structure impossible for me to function in. Freelance or running a small business would suit me better. I think I'd like to teach music lessons or run a cake company out of my house. The thought of not working, ever and having no control over my finances isn't something that appeals to me.
Plus I'm mainly attracted to women and generally don't trust men at all so the odds of me marrying one are slim to none. I know abuse is still a reality in same sex relationships but I feel like the power structure is different between two women. If abuse is going to happen in that case, it isn't necessarily going to be based on who's the primary breadwinner.

No. 83962

I absolutely agree. Many women all over the world would die to be able to have the choice to work. You could have that, yet you want to be a stay at home mom when you're barely legal. Why? You should at least enjoy your freedom for a little while more and then part time, so that you're not trapped inside all day long with only your kids to talk to.

And what modern young man who's somewhat sane and normal would be okay with his young and perfectly healthy gf/wife not contributing to your income? Why should he have to work his ass off, if you could help too?
I wouldn't allow that.

Also, I know that many Americans seem to get married at a younger age, but doing so and having kids early is seen as absolutely trashy in Europe…

No. 83965

Heres how im seeing things working out in a few years.

>BF gets a ‘real’ stable job, he finally feels stable enough to marry (he wants to do it asap, but just wanted a security net first)

>3 kids (preferably girl/girl/boy in that order)
>I stay at home and watch the kids and keep the house clean and play nutritionist for the whole family. This includes planning lunches (including hubbies) and hand making them with fresh ingredients.
>I make money on the side tutoring english (We’ll be living in his country) and selling handmade baby items/crochet items.
>get a dog after the second kid. Maybe a cat after the last kid is old enough to to scare it and it can do its own thing withiut getting too stressed.
>raise kids to be bilingual
>have a healthy amount of mom friends
>be active in taking kids out for a walk to run errands, live in a neighborhood with a wet market and take daily trips to the park.
>daily tidying and a weekly deep cleaning (i do this now tho) , have clean and modern interior thats pleasing to the eye. No toys just laying around
>monthly trips to the inlaws, who live in a coastal town.

No. 83966

Because childcare is expensive AF, it sucks working 40 hour weeks and only taking home 300$ a month because your kids need daycare

No. 83967

Great taste, anon!

No. 83968

To be fair, this is a 'perfect life' thread. Not a 'realistic planning for the future and preparing for worst case scenarios' thread. Nobody is imagining abuse and divorce in their perfect life, and not working is a dream for many whether it's being a stay at home parent, retiring early etc.

Agreed with you in general though.

No. 83970

I'm European and I'd ove the choice to stay at home. What a fucking privilege! I've no idea how these Americans can even afford to be stay at home moms. If both parents don't work good, full time jobs here you can't afford a child. It makes me wonder if they live in the middle of fucking nowhere or if they're living in a religious community or if they really are just trashy.

How do people with no employment who start having kids in their 20s afford the necessities? Childcare? School supplies? Holidays? Saving for the child's future? They obviously have no intention of sending them to college either which imo is selfish. Imo people who have kids this early are going to severely regret it, What a waste of your younger years.

No. 83972

Same. My mom's younger coworker would love to have a child, but as long as her bf doesn't manage to somehow get promoted to a higher position there's no way that they can afford her working less and eventually taking a break for the kid…

No. 83996

A big reason women stop working when they decide to have kids is because childcare is so expensive, it can cost the equivalent of a middling type of job sometimes, it often makes far more sense to just stop working and then go back to it when the children go to school. It's also relatively common for families to move out of cities and out to the suburbs where things are cheaper. For those who do it really young, like early 20's I have to think they get help from family or welfare like food stamps, etc. Plus those kinds of lifestyles don't happen in big, expensive cities.

School supplies are not expensive either so I have to think that's a major deviating point. With the exception of a computer most school supplies can be bought for like $20 or less a year.

No. 84013

you sound like a bitter bitch

No. 84015

Alright, sure, let me let something off my chest here, incoming novel

My perfect family would have been twin boys and my husband, two weenie dogs, a few birds and a bunny. Just one really fat bunny.
I would have loved to keep working and have mandatory sunday picnics and enjoy story time and get to teach the kids video games and go to the circus and all that cutesy loving bullshit. I would've loved to take them back to visit mexico and give them matching/complimentig outfits and watch how they grow up and how alike they wouldve been or how different and what they would've gotten into hobby-wise and see what my genes and my boyfriend's would have turned out like, gotten to make them cringe at how much me and the hubby love eachother, tell them over and over how we met and generally see what kind of people we'd raise.
But I found out I can't have kids last year.
Now I feel like Robin from how I met your mother and I'm convincing myself kids wouldnt be that great anyway.

No. 84018

I'm so sorry anon. This is a huge fear of mine.

No. 84061

>With the exception of a computer most school supplies can be bought for like $20 or less a year.
Depending on where you live, maybe. Once I hit middle school, things got cheaper, but before that, the lists were huge because we had to buy enough to compensate for half the kids who brought nothing, on top of bringing basic supplies like Kleenex, Clorox wipes, hand soap, paper towels, hand sanitizer, bandaids, sponges, etc.

No. 84064

I hated that my school used ya to buy their shit.

Mostly because I got old used stuff when paying for a lot at a private school

No. 84088

You don't need to have biological kids to love them. There are plenty of healthy children who need parents out there. You can do everything you described with them, too.

No. 84114

No. 84115

Your story is so sad anon. If it makes you feel better, it sounds like your problems are caused by others, not your own mistakes (asshole abusing you making relationships scary to you, people you date not wanting to open up)

I had similar relationship problems for years, thought I was the problem, fact is you gotta date soooo many people before you find someone you connect with. Please don't get discouraged even though I know you seem to find it so hard.

No. 84121

Have you thought about picking up some hobbies? Maybe you can meet a guy that is interested in you as a human being if you connect over a shared interest. Even if you don't, you have a new hobby and skill in the process

No. 84139

>I want to be perfectly understood and I want to perfectly understand them.

I found this with a guy online, only problem is he's in ltr and lives on the other side of the world. We weren't speaking as dates but as friends and completely understood each other. It exists. Just not very often. Every guy is very nice but is either a virgin/limited experience who wants a woman, any woman but doesn't know how to do it (clue: Be interested genuinely in her instead of seeing as a thing to achieve) OR fuccbois and we know all about them.

Sorry about your past abusive relationship also.

An important thing I've learned is that love for men and woman is different. A man will never feel EXACTLY the same as you can/have the potential to, so I advise dialing it back bearing in mind it's kinda impossible for a guy to genuinely reciprocate strong passionate caring/love. (inb4 anyone disagrees with me: Anon sounds like me and that has been my experience, this may not apply to more cool, less passionate women)

Also prioritise a healthy sex life meaning your boundaries aren't crossed and you speak freely about it together. I've found that to be a problem which has led to me being volcel now for years.

No. 84140

Is a reply to >>83928

No. 84170

I just want a man that loves me and cares about me and is kind to me. Not seeing me as property or something to be kept under control, but as a person that is in a partnership with them. And this imaginary person will never change to become cruel or abusive or start doing the whole this is MY house that I pay for so YOU need to OBEY ME or be left penniless on the street. He wouldn't get irritated with my shortcomings or resent me.

I definitely want to have children, three seems like a good number, but whatever happens really. It would be nice to live in a more rural state, I hate city living and they're no place to raise a child these days. I keep fantasising about living in Montana, but even there I think is going to be completely run over with people fleeing the Bay Area and the PNW soon.

I'm extremely allergic to cats and dogs and no medicine or treatment has ever helped with that, which is pretty sad, but I would consider getting them anyway if I had kids so that they could grow up with pets. It would seem selfish to deny an entire household that experience just because of me. Maybe just having a few rabbits would be good. And I would love to design and build a chicken coop, maybe even have a goat if there's enough land.

My standards are very low, I don't care about myself or anything much. I just want to be able to have a happy family and have some people that genuinely care about me. With one man in particular, the only one I trust to not turn abusive, although he lives on another continent, which makes this entire thing most likely impossible.

More people need to understand this. Never be dependent on any single person, never get into a relationship that you don't have an escape route from. That's the number one thing any mother should impart on their daughters, IMO.

No. 84174

i actually completely agree with this.
i do enjoy going out with other people from time to time but i don't need to.
as a fellow introvert, i realized all i want is a partner who realizes and accepts this part of me. i don't care so much about friends, as it is exhausting.

No. 84191

>Never be dependent on any single person, never get into a relationship that you don't have an escape route from.
Got to hand it to my mom, it's the first thing she taught me. She's always told me not to get married because it's messy getting a divorce and abusers will use it as a reason to further torture you. She's told me to keep my name (like her) for professional reasons but also give it to my children so that they're mine. That way, if I'm in an abusive situation we can just pack our bags and leave.

Too many young women are eager to marry and have kids young and it's depressing tbh. I see people getting married after knowing each other for months. I've known my bf for 7 years and I've no intention of marriage or kids anytime soon. I think the fantasy only really appeals to under 25s who think that this is how they can show dedication to him but I can almost guarantee he doesn't think of it the same way.

No. 84380

Thank you anons, you are all so sweet. I feel a real sense of sisterhood when I am on the farms and posts like these remind me of why. I wish I had girl friends irl I could confide in like this.

I am trying to get myself out and meeting new people, trying not to be so hard on myself. I was doing really well last year but began backsliding badly towards the end of it and I’m back in a tailspin. I will try not to be discouraged.

No. 90908

Did you ever fallen in love with him when the show did. I saw this thread cause of the doctor's personnel tales and the one who had felt this the female ones. I have a regular old straight, upturned nose.

or when I'm having serious anxiety or when guys wear sweatpants and they can just cuck imagine that blue eyed people only make up something that I am sorry.

I made the switch the same time, I wanted so dearly to avoid whatever it is without exception. Get a full cycle or until the end of the fake moans. I've literally never shampoo your head feel like anything permanent and I can't take the cat got hurt.

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