[ Rules ] [ ot / g ] [ pt / snow ] [ meta ] [ Discord ]

/g/ - girl talk

Password (For post deletion)

Farmhand applications are open.
Read the rules and usage info before posting.
Both have been updated on 06/24/2017. You can discuss the update here.

File: 1497613148027.jpg (95.83 KB, 308x266, lucy-advice-booth.jpg)

No. 63092

Old thread: >>44951

For anyone seeking advice about their problems or anything.

No. 63093

The old one hit 1200 posts, so i made a new one.

Are there any anons with excellent grades, like straight A students?

In order to get a job with the major i'm taking, i'd really need very good grades. In total i have 9 semesters and i'm in my 4. now. So far i wasn't that good.
My problem is, that i simply don't know HOW to study… I haven't really managed to find friends in uni, so study groups are not an option, also (maybe because of the reason above) i've been feeling really depressed and anxious, to the point of not being able to go to classes. It's the absolutely worst feeling, then i manage to pull myself together despite feeling really down and study, and in the end get only mediocre results.

My next tests are in about 5/6 weeks and so far i already started summarizing my notes a bit, but i don't know if this is the right approach or if it works for me… Any advice?

No. 63102

File: 1497621665593.jpg (934.22 KB, 1080x1080, 18949599_1789523048044982_6868…)

>guess I'll transfer mine over here too

I always thought I was straight until I met of couple experimental girls in my middle school. I had never thought of girls in that way beforehand. Only thinking of boys made me giddy. However, flash forward to high school, I started watching lesbian porn. I started to look at girls more often and I feel nothing around boys I find attractive. I feel nothing when watching straight porn too. Did I change my sexuality? Also, how can I change it again. I can't imagine myself actually settling down with a woman. Not because of societal pressure or my parents. After I cum, I feel disgusted and feel "straight" again. I think I'm emotionally attracted to boys but sexually attracted to girls. How can I fix this?

No. 63139

stay away from it and remind yourself that it's wrong (for you). Give it time and see if your feelings revert on what you find attractive and have feelings for.

No. 63225

File: 1497711685944.jpg (204.44 KB, 736x1104, 9cda41ac61055f7e2ef2a33c775ef6…)

I know this isn't the answer you're looking for but honestly it's worked wonders for me.

Similar to your story, I began watching lesbian porn and having sexual feelings towards girls in middle/high school but never felt like I could seriously pursue girls romantically. I understand the dilemma.

Turns out I really enjoy having relationships with more "effeminate" guys (what represents femininity in males will be subjective to you). In my case, I like skinny guys (no macho bulk) with minimal facial/body hair, long hair that passes their shoulders (don't really care how they style it as long as it's attractive) and I prefer their clothing style to be a little less conventionally manly (not drag or anything, just light t-shirts and skinny jeans that won't add much bulk to their physique).

At the end of the day, personality matters the most in a relationship but whether i'm fooling around or taking things seriously I still only feel comfortable with non-manly types. I'm in a long-term straight relationship now and quite frankly my boyfriend is not at all the sjw/lgbt type you might be picturing. He's not a cucc and doesn't really care about whether he comes across as effeminate because he's comfortable with his sexuality. He still dominates in bed as I enjoy being submissive but doesn't mind switching things up like any regular couple that experiments. Ultimately, it's the best of both worlds for me. I get to cuddle with this cute, soft person during the day and still get to fulfill my biological desire for dick at night.

No. 63243

File: 1497727498418.jpg (306.03 KB, 960x1280, 86deda73-e2f5-4001-8d1b-1cf2ca…)

I want to buy nice clothes and style myself but I don't have the money. I work hard but I'm not in college/don't know if I'll afford college and I use all of my money to pay bills and necessities. I feel really stuck in life because I can't treat myself or do anything because I have no money. I've never felt so bad and so stuck I have clothes from 8th grade and I'm 18 out of high school. Does life get better? Is there a way to make good money? Are there any jobs that I can make good money with? I'm not so bright so I don't think I'll be able to work as a doctor and whatnot so I want to know if there are any easier jobs that make enough? I don't want to be stuck like this forever

No. 63254

Im also 18, attending community college for the heck of it until i figure out a better game plan

I dont rlly have a job, just freelance art so all i have is 200 bucks in the bank leftover from my last commission
but i like buying accessories and clothes (may have a impulse shopping problem) as shopping therapy
So my advice is thrift shopping/garage sales, you can get so much for so cheap if you play ur cards right and look around enough
>i wish i could go to more garage sales but theyr hard to locate when u can't drive
Maybe try selling some of your nicer items you never wear / I sold 90% my dresses b/c I hate wearing dresses

No. 63260

Where do you sell them? I've tried to sell things online but nobody ever wants them and the only way I could sell them is if I sold them for super cheap which doesn't help

No. 63264

theres a thrift store that sells stuff for you, but i don't know if you have anything like that in ur locale

Im also going to sell a marble desk i don't use on a fb local garage sale, you go to the thrifty ppl u don't wait for them to come to you

No. 63265

this is exactly my boyfriend too & i just want to high five you so badly anon

No. 63267

anon just install depop or poshmark or mecari theres tons of shit people get rid of cheap. and designer labels marked down because of return policies

No. 63284

i use depop and so far no luck but ill try the others too

No. 63311

File: 1497780398225.jpg (169.54 KB, 1572x1129, pravilnaya_osanka.jpg)

Has anybody gotten the feeling they should work on their posture? Nobody's ever told me to but I feel like it needs to be fixed, i just don't know how
I feel like I'm pretty straight when I'm talking to ppl who are taller than me since i have to look up a little

but i think the rest of the time my slouch creeps in

No. 63317


go to an actual pilates class for some time, first thing they teach you there is how to stand right.

No. 63318

How do I get rid of an abusive guy I used to be with? I was 15 and he was 19 when we started online dating because I was lonely.i told him I liked his brother originally but He got pissy and somehow me and abusive guy started dating. He manipulated me and would freak out randomly on me about nothing and he made me feel like shit. I had horrible depression so I can't remember some things that he did. When I first showed him my face he was disappointed and told me so and took the picture I sent and photoshopped me to look Asian. I couldn't deal with him later on because he freaked out and said a bunch of bad things about me and told me to kill myself so I blocked him. He later messages me on his brothers account so I had to block that too. I do regret that I sent nudes and said nasty things with him and I was just so depresses I didn't care what was happening and didn't realize he was taking advantage of me. He would tell me I'm ugly and worthless and that he would kill himself if I didn't send pics which made me scared I almost went to a mental hospital because of panic attacks. Flash forward 2 years I have a new online bf who is amazing and treats me perfect and we meet and everything is amazing. I readd abusive guy because idk why but it was a bad decision. He constantly makes sexual jokes about me and relies on me to message him all the time and spans my phone. He always tells me that if me and my bf don't work out I can move there. He's needy with me and if I'm in a call with friends and he's there and I mute my Mic for a second I get 10+ messages saying WHAT HAPPENED WHERE DID YOU GO WHY DID YOU MUTE. I remember I had my Mic on and was talking to my mom and said something about our old apartment and he flipped and texted YOU LIVED IN AN APARTMENT WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME HELLO WHAT APARTMENT!! Recently he messaged me something sexual again when I told him fucking stop it makes me uncomfortable I have a boyfriend and he just says yeah I'm a bad person you hate me i don't blame you nobody likes me!! I got mad at him and ignored him and told him to fuck off and he's still playing the victim. He had an old gf and still has her nudes and plans on using them against her so I stay in contact with him so he doesn't do the same to me. He said he deleted all of mine but I'm terrified. I don't know how to get rid of him. I'm laying here crying because my bf is ignoring me and I feel like it could be because abusive guy said something to him because I got mad at abusive guy and ignored him. If my relationship ends with my bf I might actually kill abusive guy I'm not joking. How do I get rid of abusive guy though he's in my discord friend group and I don't want to get rid of that group because I don't have many friends. What can I do? Sorry for the wall of text

No. 63319

I've got scoliosis so yea, I sort of have to. It sucks but eventually you won't have yo really force yourself to stand straight.

No. 63320

It was really silly of you to re-add this guy, but your only real options are to block this asshole on every platform you can. If need be, change your phone number. Message your friends outside of the Discord group and tell them what's going on, block and remove him from Discord too. I'm sure your friends will understand. If he's blocked everywhere you probably won't be able to see if he's trying to send friend requests to you either, just keep him out of your thoughts. He sounds super gross don't let him come between you and your boyfriend.

I hope it works out for you, anon

No. 63326

File: 1497812736934.gif (1.21 MB, 720x584, ePUNCEe.gif)

My friend has pretty much stopped talking to me ever since her FWB became her boyfriend about half a year ago. We used to be pretty close, and I like to think that I helped her when she had problems, but now… She's not texting or contacting me anymore, and the few times I've tried, I feel like she seems uninterested.

Maybe I'm she didn't even think of me as a close friend and I was just overestimating my worth to her. I don't know what happened. I thought I was being understanding the first few months when she got her boyfriend - honeymoon phase, right? - but I'm feeling pretty hurt now.

No. 63328

So my overly flirty boss invited me to go clubbing with him last week, with the pretense that our mutual friend coworker would be there. But that was not the case, and my boss told me that the friend bailed and it would be just us. Throughout my summer at this place, he has been making somewhat questionable comments of a flirty nature to me, I kind of brush them off and I haven't been very stern. So the night involved us getting pretty drunk and dancing together, and he has made multiple attempts to kiss me but I was too drunk to shrug him off.

I told my boyfriend that my boss has tried to kiss me, but without telling him that I was too scared to shrug him off. Multiple kisses happened during the night in which each time I would pull away and he would try again. So shit ensues and my boyfriend messages my boss over Facebook. So I talked with my boss over the phone, and in a way he kind of makes me out to be the "bad guy" and sold him out to my boyfriend and he is nervous that his girlfriend will see these messages.

Anyways I feel like telling my other supervisor that my relationship with this greasy boss has been kind of weird, and I would not like it to overshadow my work. I'm scared of my greasy boss Honestly, I'm on good terms with all my other coworkers and they are eager to help me out in getting a future summer internship so my main priority here is to not start shit. So I am thinking of telling my supervisor this before my greasy boss starts spreading rumours.

Any advice as to if I should speak to my supervisor and what to say so I don't come off as the office whore and be able to net a job in the future from my network?

No. 63330

also my supervisor is a pretty big feminist so I guess it's likely he will be on my side.

No. 63332

I've experienced something similar as well.
I think there comes a point in time when (certain) people begin prioritizing romantic relationships over friendships. It isn't that your friendship matters less now, but that their romantic relationship matters more.
To be honest, I'm a prideful scorpio, so when people cut me off or put me on the back burner, I do the same. When I'm less bitter I just try to think of them as extended family, people who I love, but don't see or speak to that often.
I would say that if you've extended the olive branch and they haven't reciprocated it's better to leave it be. It will suck for her if she breaks up with them and finds that she's alienated everyone else.

No. 63333


same. let her go despite the pain. look for new friends who will treat you better. It may be a wait, and lonely, but when you find that new friend or group that you can tell really cares for you, it'll be worth it.

Don't try to rekindle a friendship with someone who so easily threw you away.

No. 63342

I have a long history of friends putting me on the backburner or blowing me off for their boyfriends and to be honest, I don't tolerate it anymore because why should I? Call me a bitch but it's true. If you're gonna treat me like I'm invisible just because you're getting some new dick, don't expect me to come running when a guy breaks your heart.

No. 63344

Do you have a human resources department anon? If so, you should go talk to them. That's sexual harassment. Tell them that he's being inappropriate with you, making unwanted advances, and making the workplace hostile. If you are a US anon they cannot retaliate against you for reporting this and you cannot be fired for it. I'm sorry this happened to you anon. I hope it resolves.

No. 63357

I feel like I'm not especially good at or interested in anything. I'm supposed to be applying to universities but nothing grabs me. I feel like every field I could study I either won't care about or won't be good at.

I really don't have a direction with my life.

No. 63359

Any anons have recommendations for brand name bags (aka not from chinese sellers on ebay) that don't have obnoxious logos on them? I'm looking for a leather backpack that doesn't look like a typical schoolbag, but almost everything I find is either stupidly expensive, tacky, or in ugly colors.

No. 63361

yup. me too. :\

No. 63374

I think it's the fault of the internet and all those fakely happy people that are like CHASE UR DRIMZ #motivation. No, you don't have to find something that will be the fucking core of your existence. Do you have hobbies? Drawing, gaming? Family? Friends? Do you like nature? Then you'll be happy in life and you don't have to have some dream job to achieve it. You gotta make money and use it to do what you love. So fuck this whole "I need to find something I want to do" because you don't have to. I'm sure you already have something you like doing, and as long as you have that, it's okay. It's great if you do find your dream job, of course, but it's just not possible for everyone, and no biggie choosing WHATEVER. It's better than taking a gap year to think and then never going for higher education.
Sorry I got a bit heated, but I've seen too much of my friends wasting their lives waiting for some epiphany that did not happen. Just pick whatever seems corresponding to your abilities, skills. And go with the flow. Maybe you'll grow to like it. Or discover you DO actually like it. You can change it. You can complete uni and then do something not related with your field. And it's okay. Fuck that pressure to "choose right". Just choose.

No. 63378

>Fuck that pressure to "choose right". Just choose.
Agreeing with this anon, so many people get stuck in trap of needing to follow their dream as a career and always be inspired every second of the day, and it leads to people missing out on decent degrees /careers because the reality doesn't match up to it. You can always leave a job for a better one, but if you sit at home waiting for the perfect opportunity it will never come.
Most importantly is finding out what your ideals are, whether that's financial gain, that you get on with your colleagues (or are left alone if you like that) or just have a sense of security. Obviously it's great if you can makes artisan teaspoons funded by Patreon, but if you fall into something more normal there is no reason why you can't work hard and keep moving companies until you find somewhere that feels like home. So far my favorite jobs have been low income but steady with good colleagues, rather than being exciting work, helping support my colleagues and actually wanting to talk to them gave me a reason to get up in the morning. But at the same time, I have introvert friends who are happy to quietly get through the workdays in jobs they don't care about as long as it facilitates their out of hours lifestyles.

No. 63379

No there's no HR at the company, it's an extremely small firm. I think I've decided that I kind of have to clear the air before things hit the fan. Thanks anon.

No. 63383

So, this friend of my boyfriend (my friend too somewhat by extension) is an Alex Jones supporter. He's cool other than the bat shit crazy things he really believes. How can I convince him that 1) we do not give a fuck if Sandy Hook was faked or not, 2) get him to see how retarded some of the shit he thinks is. The guy dropped out of high school, so I don't really have high hopes of getting to him, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to try.

No. 63385

Let him believe what he wants? It's not your job to change other people's opinions. It's one thing if it's your bf, but it's just his friend.

No. 63396

I wouldn't care what crazy shit he believes if he didn't constantly try to proselytize me into believing it as well.

No. 63420

What's the best way to politely kick a person out of a meetup group? There's a person who after 2 months (5 meetups) everyone wants her to gtfo, and everyone's complaints about her are legit. however, she's the baby of the group (aka 19 while everyone else is 22-early 30s) so I also think that hanging out with us for a bit longer might make her realize to grow the fuck up?

>she's a nondenominational christian, so when we brought up religious stuff once she was rather uppity about "her kind" being more welcoming of others

>our group tries out different cafes all the time, the one time we went to a vegan-friendly place she was surprised that not all vegans and vegetarians are people with eating disorders

>mentioned reddit once as a offhand comment once and regretted it, because that how we all found out about how she's kind of obsessed with tumblr bashing, cringepics, and the like

>she yelled "YEAH I'M DOING GRANDMA STUFF, WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM" at a group of middle schoolers who just happened to be passing by, and afterwards started a rant about "basic" girls and how she hates having female friends because drama

Also a personal opinion, but one shouldn't have their main way of being social in an irl group like this be showing internet drama posts/"mainstream?"memes on their phone and then bashing it while giggling to yourself.

Luckily I didn't follow her on social media or whatever but she does have our numbers. tbh i kinda wonder if she's lowkey a female robot lmfao

No. 63424

Maybe she posts here…

No. 63437

I'm going to give head with a guy for the first time, I'm nervous, not because it's my first time, but because I have low confidence
Already I have shitty confidence as it is, but I probably look like shit while giving head. What do

No. 63438

Don't worry about it, just do it. Guy is probably excited as hell to get head.

Just think about it as if he was giving you oral for the first time. Obviously you'll enjoy it despite him probably not being the best at it.

No. 63445

I sort of missed the subject here I realized. You really can't look bad when giving head to a guy. At worst it'll be awkward when you're fumbling around trying to find a comfortable position for your neck, but don't care too much about that. Have sex for the fun of it.

No. 63462

she groups cosplayers, furries, and j-fashion enthusiasts as freaks and complains why people can't appreciate american culture, so I highly doubt it lol

tbh what you look like when you give head shouldn't matter if you're giving good head

No. 63467

If everyone else is 22 or older, just have the meet up at a bar or a 21-and-up venue. Even if you don't drink, you can still order food.

No. 63472

Not that anon, but you're wonderful. Thank you for posting it. I was in a similar boat and I found a job I am really happy with, even if it's not my biggest interest or my original dream/plan, and it helps me fund a happy life in a way I can tolerate. That kind of life is fine too, often a little bit less stressful even. So I completely agree with everything you wrote, thank you for wording it so well. <3

No. 63485

What are the chances of breast size growing vs just getting a round tummy and ham arms if I gain weight? I've been considering trying it.

I'm skeletal so I could afford to gain a bit elsewhere. Above all I just want to grow some boobs since I'm flat.

No. 63487


Depends on genetics. Do you know where your parents store their fat?

For ex, both my parents have the body type where extra weight goes straight to the tummy area. So when I gained depression weight, it went directly to my tummy first. I did go from a B cup to a F, but it wasn't noticeable because of the tummy. When I lost the weight, I went down to a D, but they have a sag.

No. 63676

Hey anons I have two questions:

1, if you work a job that's entry level but isn't retail/fast food/etc what is it and how did you get it?

2: How do you make friends when you're 26?

the second one i especially want help on. I'm just kinda lonely. All the fucking time. I'm married, but my husband has his own friends. He had a death in his family recently (Godfather's father, he didn't want to go visit for it) so he's been dealing with it just by playing video games and hanging out with his friends and generally avoiding thinking about it and i'm okay with that but it also is making me jealous and making me realize I don't really have any real friends.

I have 4 girls I know where we live (We moved from another state so started from scratch). One of them I don't always get along with and is more of my husband's friend, the other is always on a vacation with her boyfriend (He makes bank doing work with computers, i'm only slightly jealous), one of them is a mom so hanging out with her also means hanging out with a baby (Which I personally can only do in small doses) and the last one is always busy working and says she'll hit me up when she's free but she either forgets, doesn't want to, changes plans last minute to hang out with someone else (Usually her boyfriend which I understand) or just plain doesn't seem to remember i exist despite us being 'best friends.'

I used to have tons of friends online growing up because I had trouble talking to people. Now I can talk to people fine but i can't seem to make friends either way.

Where can I go to make new friends? I tried making some at college but it's an art school so they're literally all SJWs and i'm really not into making friends i can't talk to about my points of view on the world and the few friends I did make quietly unfriended me on facebook without saying anything so clearly there's something wrong with me.

What do I do? Does anyone else feel the same? Where can I even go to make friends online nowadays?

No. 63677

Weight gain, like weight loss, can't be targeted like that. Even if your parents have good fat distribution like >>63487 this anon suggested, you're still going to gain weight everywhere. It's also WAY harder to keep weight off than it is to put on (There's a science behind it but i don't remember it right now)

I have good fat distribution (Ass, tits, and hips) but that doesn't mean my arms, belly and legs aren't fat too you dig? I look better than someone who's distribution is only in the tummy (I've seen some chicken legged girls with BIG bellies, not a good look) but it's still obvious i'm fat.

You're better off getting a nice push up bra (They're cuter too) or saving up for implants if it's what you want, anon.

But it's also good to just embrace your body for how it is too. There's nothing wrong with being flat and honestly with my back problems i'd kill to be smaller in the chest (Grass is always greener).

Also if you're basically skeletal you might have too high of a metabolism to gain weight anywhere regardless. I also heard girls with this bodytype that DO gain weight eventually have a harder time getting it back off, which is even more reason not to do it imo.

If you wanna give your body more shape, try lifting weights. Girls don't get bulky without steroids but you'll get some definition so maybe it'll help you feel better about your body overall?

No. 63678

>(There's a science behind it but i don't remember it right now)

I think it's because when you gain weight, you gain new fat cells, but when you lose weight, the fat cells shrink but don't go away. Anyone feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, it's been years since I've taken a health class lol.

No. 63679

Same anon here, you're right it's something like that. I don't remember all the specifics but that was the key detail i was looking for

No. 63689

You make friends by talking to people and planning doing things with them.

It feels like useless advice because you've heard it before. Make an excuse to talk to someone like a hobby or an interest. If you like them, exchange numbers or something, plan to meet again or something. I've found out it's easier to get into an existing friend group than try to initiate things 1-on-1.

No. 63703

You're right, weight gain is difficult for me which left me pretty shapeless during puberty and makes me feel insecure as an adult woman. This is some good advice thank you. I would kill for a few more curves especially around the bust and hip area but I don't want to fuck up my body permanently beyond my control so I'll try to love what I have.

No. 63704

Um where lmfao. Like where are you going that you're meeting people with introverted hobbies?

Like do i just go to a fucking starbucks and start hitting on a girl to be my new bestie?

Please make the absolute assumption that i'm socially retarded because I kind of am.

just remember somewhere out there is a girl who'd die to have your bodytype (Like me) and it starts to help you appreciate it a little more. Focus less on what you don't have and more on what you do! Like chances are you'll probably never be fat if you don't gorge yourself in your 30s, that's pretty handy when everyone else's metabolisms are slowing down and making them fat.

Plus learning to dress to enhance your shape will help too.

I had a tiny skinny little manager at a department store once. Her favourite motto was "Everything fits with a belt." As in, is that shirt too big? Put a belt around your waist, now it's perfect. Most of the time, especially on her tiny body, it worked.

No. 63718

Can't you join a dodgeball league or something?

No. 63736

File: 1498164549819.png (819.61 KB, 580x632, b9f2186437407d2b9c87d692dd9b70…)

I recently met this guy online through a game and I found out he lives in the same town as me. He's just a year older and pretty much has his life together which I respect. He's pretty much my type when it comes to appearances as well as a little extra bonus for myself. I've met up with him about two or three times and we get along well. We both talked about relationships but decided to go against it for now because I just came out of a really bad mentally abusive relationship. He invited me to come over to his place to drink because I told him I've never been drunk and I want to live a little but I'm concerned.

Not because I don't trust him but he's still a relatively new person in my life. The paranoia of being a girl being kidnapped/killed/raped at any time has been instilled in me very early in life. Should I go do it? If I wait, what seems like a good time or signal to go for moments like this? Thanks in advance, anons!!

No. 63761

>Not because I don't trust him but he's still a relatively new person in my life. The paranoia of being a girl being kidnapped/killed/raped at any time has been instilled in me very early in life. Should I go do it?

This is contradictory anon. If you trust him, then you know your fear is irrational right now. I'd say: id you go to his house, don't drink the first time. Let him unwind with drinks, and see how he behaves after a few. If he's still a lovely guy then that's a good sign.

Since you've never been drunk before, I would advise going for a drink at a pub. Give yourself a time limit (say from the start that you've got to be up early the next day or w/e so you'll just have a few) so you don't get carried away. I'd always recommend drinking in a public place first, rather than round the house of a guy you're not very familiar with.

No. 63765

File: 1498210680652.jpg (42.3 KB, 640x369, IMG_4230.JPG)

My crush keeps liking other dudes flirtin comments on my posts. I don't know why he keeps doing this. He does not even say anythin afterwards or mention it or mesage me. I never respond to them. I'm unsure if he's doing it to get my attention or take the mick because they are ugly and hitting on me. Is this even normal behaviour for guys?

No. 63768

maybe he's a cuckold

No. 63777

Holy shit anon, do not go to a stranger's home and get drunk there. Anyone can be deceiving. The fact that he mentioned coming to his house to get drunk first instead of out somewhere is already a red flag. If you're gonna drink, bring a friend and tell somebody what you'll be doing.

No. 63781

Agreed! Sounds like me plans to make you drunk and vulnerable. Would be a bit different if a group of you went to a bar and drank.

Also even though you met him a few times and he seems nice don't be fooled. I met a guy a few times and he seemed so sweet. I went to stop with him for a few days, he said we would watch anime and he would treat me like a princess (I know lol am I 12?). When I got there he became abusive and rapey probably because I was basically stranded until my return ticket and I couldn't go home, tried to fight his way in to my underwear even though I told him not to. Then was horrible to me because I wouldn't sleep with him and slept the whole time I was there and didn't bother with me. When I said "you said you would treat me like a princess" he responded with "I will… during sex". At one point I was certain he was going to actually murder me and I can honestly say never ever ever EVER again will I put myself in that position ever again. Sorry for blog post but seriously always prepare for the worst thing that could possibly happen. Alcohol is definitely not advisable unless you want to possibly sleep with him???

No. 63782


I think your crush is trying to get your attention tbh he's going about it in a vague way but this way he doesn't risk rejection and can pass it off as a joke if it doesn't turn out how he wants. Does he know you like him? If not, take a risk and ask him anon.

No. 63805

Thank you for telling me what I need to hear.

I'm so sorry, I realized I wrote my feels when I was feeling a little sad and lonely which really took a toll on my common sense. Looking back, I definitely will force a change of plans and won't go over and push plans to drink in a public place. The reason why he pushed it to his house is because drinking out is expensive and I just come from a extremely conservative household so it couldn't be at mines. I just wasn't sure if doing what I was going to do was okay because there's people like that who just go over and drink as social activity or if my paranoia was getting the better of me. It's just better safe than sorry.

I wanted to do something that is considered fun and spontaneous but realized it could end up bad which leads me to oh my god >>63781 don't apologize for the post but I am so glad that you're safe and I truly hope you never get locked up in that kind of situation ever again. I can't help but relate because I would want to feel like a princess too. It doesn't help that I'm not in good financial standing and he's paid for everything so far when we went out which seems like a common thing to do but the guys I have dated in the past had limited income or no jobs so just paying $6 for a meal makes me feel spoiled. I'll definitely keep your story in mind and hope things just go better planned with him and I in the future. Thank you again.

No. 63811

I've been with my s.o for about 4 years or so and my main problem with him is that he cancels plans to see me often. It hurts my feelings. It makes me feel so unimportant and disrespected. I have addressed it multiple times, but nothing changes. Its to the point that breaking up is likely. Its just that he's actually my first boyfriend ever and it just all sucks how this stupid shit is playing out. Im going to hurt and I'm afraid.

No. 63812

He has a really big ego though. Scared if I confront him he will reject me and move on because the 'chase' is over.

Hahahaha never considered that but now that you mention it… hahaha

No. 63815

What the fuck, that kind of shit doesn't exist where I live. We don't all live in hipster capitals anon.

No. 63816

So sometimes this is a red flag and sometimes it's not. If you're bros, then this is a bro thing to do.

I suggest going out in public though to drink. A good first step if you haven't drank before is over some dinner. Go to buffalo wild wings or some other casual friend place if you're not looking for a relationship, get yourself some booze, and have a friend pick you up (If he suggests driving you home just tell him "They're already on their way."

Don't let paranoia keep you from hanging out with this guy but be cautious too.

No. 63819

No. 63821

File: 1498271818254.png (38.9 KB, 500x430, 1488910457660.png)


No. 63846


most of it, and i'm not happy but enlightened.

No. 64441

File: 1499183582882.jpg (119.01 KB, 394x700, fashionable-male-winter-outfit…)

My boyfriend dresses like shit and HATES shopping for clothes, so he's basically put it up to me to buy him new ones. I want him to start dressing cuter/more fashionable, but the issue is, he's 6'4", 260 pounds (not muscular) so he wears big and tall sizes. Regular sized men's shirts are much too short for his long torso. Anyway, does anyone here know of website with nice, not totally generic, big and tall clothing? I've checked all the majir department stores. Their selection really sucks.

No. 64442


No. 64447

Land's End. It sounds dorky, but they've done a of of work on their fit in the past few years, and they have good basics. Their clothing is durable and straightforward, and the size charts are accurate. They will hem pants at your desired length for free. Their styles do lean more towards well-dressed dad than hip young guy, but there is a range. Keep an eye out for coupon codes. They have a great return policy, too.

No. 64450

> met a guy a few times and he seemed so sweet. I went to stop with him for a few days, he said we would watch anime and he would treat me like a princess

You accepting an offer like this, to him, and to most men, means you want to have sex.

Once he found out you don't want to have sex, he realized you're just wasting his time, and you basically tricked him.

Pro-tip: No guy on Earth wants to be friends with you, other guys make much better friends, and they're 1000x easier to make friendships with. Any time a guy voluntarily wants to spend time with specifically you, he is competing with other men for access to your vagina.

Women are a costly thing men must struggle to gain access to, and it's getting to the point where it's just not worth it for many men. That's why a lot of men are just dropping out of society, becoming NEET, and not even attempting to get females. They have quit the game, they have quit the competition.

These NEETs do more to benefit society than people who work, why? Because more men dropping out of society will:

1) Reduce hypergamy, in other words reduce the insanely over-priced cost of pussy, and lower women's extremely entitled attitudes
2) Reduce feminism
3) Raise wages

No. 64452

>man here

No. 64456

Reduce feminism? Fucking lol

No. 64457

Women have all the power in the world of sex, they get to select which men get to have sex, and which men don't.

If there is a large enough decrease in available men competing for women, then women will be forced to change themselves to become more desirable to men, and one of the biggest ways they could do that is by reducing feminism.

Men are terrified of getting married, living together (common law marriage), or having children now, because women are rewarded for divorce and destroying men's entire lives.

90% of the time the state will give women custody of the children, and force the man to pay for her stealing his kids.

The man loses his wife, children, financial security, and sometimes house, all at the same time. This often happens even if the wife cheats on him, and was the reason for the divorce. He is forced by the state to pay for this demonic ex-wife's new lifestyle.

This is the nightmare scenario that guys are terrified of, they've seen it happen to many men they know in real life, it's enough to drive men to suicide/murder.

My main hopes of reducing feminism is that it will fix these marriage/divorce laws that reward women to divorce, allows them to divorce for any reason, and completely ruins the man's life and everything he worked for. It is the reason that the family structure is completely destroyed, the reason we have >50% divorce rates, and general decline in civilization.

No. 64459

Dont activate that trap card

No. 64461

Thanks you so much, anon. I was thinking that since we're obviously a female majority site that I wouldn't get any suggestions. I'm going to look into it now, but they sound like a good company.

No. 64463

I'm starting to be attracted to this guy, however I already have a boyfriend. I don't want to cheat or break up, but I still want to be friends with the guy. Bad idea or is it possible to get over those feelings of attraction?

No. 64464

Flee temptation. This is how cheating starts.

No. 64467

You can't anyway, it's the 5 pieces of Exodia, I instantly win.

No. 64469

Yeah you're right. Am I foolish for holding onto the hope my feelings will fade? He's a great guy and he's going through some rough things so I wish I could at least be of a bit of friendly support to him.

No. 64483

Feelings fade with distance, if anything you'll just fall for him harder if you spend more time with him.
I had a similar situation before and the more I saw the guy the more I couldn't stop thinking about him so I decided to completely stop talking to him and eventually the feelings faded. It was difficult but it was the right choice in the end.

No. 64582

My irl friend is talking to older men online and leading them on because he is trans. he really wants attention and im drifting away from him because of this. apparently hes in a d/s with this guy from denmark and he keeps posting things on snapchat instagram and fb about it and its disgusting. he is keeping the guy in "chastity" and keeps talking about it and posts pics of other guys he talks to in underwear and i feel really bad. this was my good friend who was disgusted by this and seemed like they were actually "trans" but now im sure its for attention because they wear makeup for pictures and wear girl clothes yet still want to be called a guy. i dont know what to do i dont know how to get my friend back. i feel really uncomfortable because they keep posting about their personal stuff and i just feel like this isnt the same person i once knew

No. 64603

Has anyone tried a research and development funding opportunity for a grant? If so, what was it like? Is it difficult? Is there a lot of pressure?

No. 64642

The unfortunate thing is you probably can't change them.

You can attempt to talk to them intervention style. Could even just have a talk about what should be private (Like pretty much everything you described) and what's okay for him to post publically (Him dressing as a girl for instance should be fine if it's nothing sexual).

It's not unusual for someone discovering themselves especially gender wise to not feel comfortable making the full leap to female pronouns and names. A few years ago, way before this dumb transtrender trend began, I was struggling with my sexuality and my perception of myself. So I began wearing men's clothes and acting more like a guy. Online i'd introduce myself as a guy or not correct people when they made the assumption that I was but offline I wasn't comfortable with that. Even though I wore men's clothes around my family and friends and all I wasn't comfortable coming out and saying "I think I might be a guy." I wasn't comfortable with them calling me a guy or using a guy's name for me.

Eventually I grew out of it as I realized I was uncomfortable with my body due to sexual abuse at a young age and developing early (Massive tits at age 11. First boyfriend only dated me for my tits). This is also the reason I doubt a lot of young transboys because they probably are experiencing similar things.

Just try talking to him anon there's nothing else you can really do besides that.

And sometimes you just end up losing a friend. That's part of life and it sucks but it's not going to be the only friend you lose in your lifetime.

No. 64696

File: 1499715069802.jpg (54.74 KB, 639x434, IMG_0108.JPG)

Anyone have any advice on how to get my sex drive back. Bf and I used to have sex at least once every day but now I only ever do it because I feel I need to please him. Usually can go weeks without it. It feels like a chore to me even though it's always good.

No. 64697

Are you me?
Try this: say yourself you will have sex in a few hours when your bf comes home.
Put some hot clothes on and doll yourself up.
Watch a sexy movie were two people have passionate sex.
Be ready for that sweet action.

But I don't know how to get that libido back all the time ;(

No. 64701


That's a real good tip actually. See since we're always busy and his visits are usually impulsive it can be difficult somtimes. I looked up online that the hormones responsible for sex drive are at their highest during your period. Nature is a cruel mistress.

No. 64707

Maybe thats something for you:
Push him onto the bed, sit down on him and fuck his brain out. Even if you don't feel it in the first place, it will be fucking hot after a few minutes. It's even better if he struggles and say things like: 'uh oh but I have things to do.' But you will fuck him anyways.

No. 64714

Thank you. I also have the same issue. Only thing that's worked for me so far was putting distance between us (had to visit family for two weeks across the states) but that's starting to fizzle out.

That's rape, anon.

You can do what above anon said but just make sure you don't rape him, anon.

No. 64721

What the fuck are you on about anon? Nothing about the anons you quoted said anything about having sex against her bf's will. If anything she would be raping herself because she's making herself get into it.

>inb4 whatever bs you're going to spout about rape.

It's all fucking nonsense. No one is raping anyone in this scenario.

No. 64724

If you masturbate, stop. If you don't masturbate, start.

No. 64795

I'm in the same position right now as he has to travel away for a week for work, so I'm already feeling things improving now that I don't get to see him. Also I kind of get what >>64707 was meaning and of course you can have that kind of sex without it being rape. We have very good communication and understanding so I imagine it wouldn't come off as too forecful

I go through spells of doing it and not doing it so I'm thinking I should start making it a regular thing

No. 64798

>Flash forward 2 years I have a new online bf who is amazing and treats me perfect and we meet and everything is amazing.
>I readd abusive guy because idk why but it was a bad decision.

Tldr: worthless slut gets bored with his good bf and goes back to the abusive guy.
You deserve all the abuse for being a retarded cunt.

No. 64890

I think I just had a fucking panic attack, again.
My pulse was at 163 for a short time got better then went up again to 99 or so and now it's better again.
I never had problems with panic attacks (at least I hope those are panic attacks sometimes my chests and right arm feel reeally uncomfortable but I'm only in my twenties so a fucking heart attack doesn't seem very possible) and I've never been diagnosed with anything like that. But ever since I started this fucking job I got some..
I had around 5 already in like 6 months which doesn't sound too bad but considering that it was never a thingfor me I'm freaking out a little bit when I get them.
They feel so fucking horrible like I'm going to die. It also feels like my throat is getting squeezed so I have trouble breathing for a while.
I just hate it so much. I read on the Internet that saying 'stop' over and over again can help.
Since I've never been diagnosed with it I don't even know if those are panic attacks but the symptoms always feel like one.
Any anons here that have similar problems? What do you guys do when you get one ?

No. 64916

File: 1500124573939.png (44.01 KB, 400x205, 1499294303823.png)

hi anon. i have issues with panic attacks, too. is your new job really stressful?
they feel the same for me, plus my hands and arms get all tingly. it feels really scary.
when i get a panic attack, i try to find a place to myself as soon as possible, like a bathroom. then, i try to take deep breaths really slowly. when you're having a panic attack, you're basically expelling all your carbon dioxide, which can make you feel horrible. by breathing in deeply and slowly, you're keeping the carbon dioxide in you. i know it can be hard to remember, but breathing slowly is really, really helpful.
good luck with everything <3

No. 64944

Thanks anon that helps me a little bit. Maybe I'm freaking out so much because I'm not used to it and I don't really know what to do. I'm basically staying on the stairwell in case I can't breathe no more to get help.
Do you knownif there is a special breathing method when having an anxiety attack?

No. 64949

you can try this breathing pattern. it's actually for insomnia, but i've found that it's really calming in other situations.

No. 64998

File: 1500312998757.jpg (417.71 KB, 500x500, tumblr_nymj1rQOH51qla6e4o3_500…)

Hey there, gals.

I have to projects due (deadline is the 30th), and I am super unmotivated to do it.

Do you have any advices on how to stay focused/discipline yourself? From meditation to apps to whatever.

I've tried prizing myself before, but it's not working anymore, like.. I guess the prizes are not that interesting to me anymore.

Much appreaciated.

No. 65001

I'm not sure how many anons here struggle(d) with self harm but I have a question.

How do you come out of your shell when it comes to finally wearing items of clothing that reveal past scars? I've lost a lot of weight recently and want to start wearing shorts since its really hot, but my thighs are really gross from years of cutting. On one hand I feel like I should just keep hiding them, but on the other hand I feel like I need to learn how to get over it? When I think of my scars showing in public though I get so uncomfortable. I want to move on with my life but I feel like stupid shit like this is holding me back.

No. 65004

Start slowly if you can, so you get used to it. Wear them at home or outside for a few hours and try not to worry about it. If people ask (they usually don't, from personal exp) just say it doesn't matter, or something similar. I usually just ignore the question and people take the hint.

Bio oil is also supposed to help fade scars, in case you want to look into it.

No. 65007

Thank you very much! I'm definitely worried about people staring or trying to bring them up in conversation. I'm also worried about being labeled as some kind of attention whore, even by strangers because a lot of the scars aren't big - there are just a lot there. Like a "oh she clearly only wants attention, look how small/light her pathetic scars are" or something. I feel like most of them being smaller scars is going to bring more negative attention? I really psych myself out about this stuff I guess.

I'm going to try to slowly become more comfortable with it just like you said though. It's time to make a change so I can feel comfortable in my own skin 100%.

No. 65019

like what other anon said, start slow. when my scars were at their worst, i would literally never leave the house without a jacket, even in 100 degree heat. eventually as my scars faded i'd go out occasionally in short sleeves and now i hardly ever think about my scars showing. eventually you get so used to it you forget they're there. i've been asked about them before, but it's rare. i usually ignore it too or just say an accident. people don't press about it. some days i feel insecure about it but i try not to focus on it too much, and if you don't focus on it other people usually won't.

No. 65028

Can't speak for myself but some friends have very big scars.
They necer get asked about them maybe little kids will ask you and then you can just say something corny like "these are my battle scars"

No. 65035

Personally, I haven't self harmed in years, and I cover my scars no matter what in public, and at home because I don't live alone. Summer is a challenge.

No. 65041

My friend was very self conscious about hers and got tattoos over them. Might not be an option you would want but now she's proud to wear shorts again and people don't really notice the scars.

No. 65543

File: 1501033247430.jpg (97.57 KB, 1200x675, DFdJpyeXUAA4nLQ.jpg)

My coworker seems to have a liking of me and I will always catch him staring and he grins easily over

We went to his today to watch a film and ended up cuddling on his sofa, I kept dozing off and he would pull me a little tighter or stroke my arm gently or wrap his arm around me and his heartbeat kept going insanely fast, this went on for two hours at least

When I woke up he didn't know if I was or not and as i was laid on his chest he was properly stroking my hair, what does it mean when hedoes this? It was proper fingers running almost soppy

I could hear him smile and make a little happy noise too and he nozzles my head a bit

But then when I'm up he's very nervous and when we hug bye it's a quick distant one and I can't tell if he's trying to figure his emotions out

Help please

No. 65552

i have no advice but thats the cutest shit ive ever read

No. 65553

He obviously likes you but is just shy/nervous. Ask him out!

No. 65557

File: 1501057070216.jpg (72.63 KB, 640x640, 1494312829869.jpg)

Decided to see the therapists/counselors my school provides for "free" because it's the summer and I don't have much else to do aside from work and I've been meaning to do this for a while

I have pretty severe anxiety (actual panic attacks) and am in general just extremely apathetic and depressed. I know for a fact prescriptions help quite a lot as I borrow xanax from a friend for when it gets particularly bad (for anxiety at least), so I've made a point of not telling my therapist about my drug use/addiction. I've read on a few forums that if you admit to taking any sort of recreational drug then you are pretty much disqualified from getting anything from a psychiatrist.

It's been two sessions with the therapist and she doesn't seem to be showing any signs of sending me to a psychiatrist, so should I just tell her or is that a bad move? Drug addiction is a pretty serious problem for me as of late (mostly opiods and cough syrup when I'm on a budget), but I feel like if I can get the anxiety under control with meds then I'll have much better chances of stopping my drug use

No. 65558

is he a QT and are you both single? if so get it and take him out

make sure he isn't some creep though

No. 65562

Out of curiosity; do you use opiates to be high or to function and to feel normal?
I have GAD and I just use it to act like a normal person.

No. 65564

Reading this relaxed me so much lol
Anon, he's a keeper, and you two seem on a good path so don't worry, if you're into him too just go with it. He seems shy or inexperienced, so just proceed with caution. Little steps

No. 65565


Op here
I thought the same but also a few days ago when I asked who he likes he said he's afraid of developing romantic feelings for someone at work before he goes to uni

I'm quite sure he meant me as he was apologetic so I'm wondering if the reason he seemed a little dazed after was that he was realising he's developing feelings for me possibly?

It was cute though
Today we are on the same shift so I guess just see how he reacts or if he seems cold

No. 65579

Where can I buy pharmaceuticals online without a prescription? I really need some more Acyclovir pills for oral herpes simplex virus, but I don't have the insurance to pay the arm and leg to go to the doctor. (American here, obviously.) I wish you could just get a lifetime prescription for something because I'm obviously not going to be cured of this shit.

No. 65581

Opiates are for the high for the most part, it's the way I pass the time
I use benzos to act like a semi-normal person. I know they work for me, but I'm just trying to get a prescription so I don't have to keep buying marked up/pressed pills

No. 65588

You shouldn't tell them you take drugs. You wouldn't have a chance to get any benzos.
I didn't get benzos when I had a complete breakdown. They even told me that they can't give it to me because of my "drug history". Only took valoron at this moment

No. 65607


Okay never mind, at work today he grinned at me when I came in, knowingly and we agreed to watch the sequel to last night's movie

His friend was there and he was sk determined to make sure the friend went home first as he was going to get drunk and he seemed protective of me and we cuddled again when we watched the film and then he put another on and we kept making excuses for me to stay longer

I ended up falling asleep on him again and if I tried to apologetically wake myself up he'd go shh and stroke my hair and let me sleep some more

We both woke at 4am and he walked me halfway home and seemed the same again, the walk back very quiet but he gave me a more sentimental goodbye hug

So I think you guys might be right!

Also he reminisced little things tonight and admitted how he will do things specifically for me like how if he comes in he tries to catch my eye to smile at me and get a smile out of me or the excuses he will make to come over and talk to me

It's hard to tell if he sees me as a little sister but then I'm thinking the cuddles are different

This time he gently went to hold my hand too if that's progress

No. 65610

I don't get it, are you unsure if he likes you or something..? He's not doing this because you remind him of his little sister.

No. 65612

In highschool I was pretty good friends with a girl but we had a falling out and haven't talked in like a decade. We recently became friends on facebook, and I was thinking of inviting her out for coffee just to catch up. She's busy with a family and job though, and I'm only here for a few more days, and I'm worried it'd be weird or that she wouldn't even want to meet. Should I?

No. 65616

You should.

No. 65618


I am at times yeah
I mentioned last night I felt him stroke my hair and he was worried and asked if it was okay and I said yeah I find it relaxing and he mentioned how he used to stroke his little sisters hair all the time to make her sleep

So I don't know if he meant he sees me as a sister no

He held my hand and his heart was beating fast but I don't know if he's being platonic sometimes

No. 65630

wow… its pretty obvious he likes you, making excuses for you stay over longer, trying to catch your eye, finding reasons to talk to you etc. tbh the sister thing just sound like something he said in passing, I'd ignore it. He sounds like a fucking qt anon go for it

go for it, worst case scenario she says no. that's it

No. 65678

I had underweight all my life. But I felt good and didn't push it to the limits. So no ana for me, I just ate not that much.
But out of nowhere everyone tried to convience me to gain weight. And at this point I started to feel like a freak. My Doc told me I'm anorexic and I should just admit it etc.
So I fucking gained weight to show them fuckers I'm not ill.
But now I feel fat as fuck. I lost wrinkles around my mouth BUT I look older because my jawline dissapeared and my face looks sunken because of the fat.
I get so depressed when I look into the mirror. I actually start to cry.

Should I lose weight again and stop listening to anyone? Should I start to workout (more) to get a lower bf? Or is there a chance I developed BDD and am going nuts?

No. 65679

Depends, what is your before and after BMI?

No. 65681

Before 17, now 22.

No. 65704

BMI is a shit system that accounts for the entire body mass and not fat mass.

No. 65716

If I were you, I would have asked for some clarification by now… Because that's confusing af. You don't go cuddling, holding hands and playing with hair with just a coworker/a friend. I agree that sounds cute and shit, but also weird. Either say something - what you feel, what you want - or hands off, dude. Because it sounds like he is leading you on. He won't commit, but he still gets what he wants from you (closure, the touch, whatever). Respect yourself, even sweet guys can hurt you/

No. 65728

File: 1501277551735.jpg (28.2 KB, 698x420, emotrump.jpg)

Hey everyone. So…I just want advice on how you deal with bad anxiety and emotional baggage/being pulled in a lot of directions. This might go better in the relationship advice thread, but it's about me, so I thought it fits here more.

I'm semi-informally secretly engaged to my bf, might announce it soon, but he lives in another country, and is really sad and sexually frustrated about it lately. He seems to feel impatient trying to find a way to see/live with me because he misses me so much. I have a lot of relationship baggage, and my first ex dumped me over feeling sad about me living far away, besides other things, as I learned later…he also went on to date my best friend, which gave me some trust issues because I thought he was into her and could cheat on me with her when we were together. I've dealt with emotionally unstable family and a fucked up partner who have both made me have issues with my sense of stability. I don't think he'd leave me unless he flew off the handle from anxiety issues, and would regret it later.

I've been dealing with my grandfather's cancer diagnosis as well, and plus my legitimately clinically crazy home life, and it's putting family pressure on me that's showing up in my relationship and close friendships and making it harder for me to work and look toward my future.

I'm having occasional issues feeling emotionally safe and secure because of my relationship and family-related emotional baggage. I've got a diagnosed anxiety disorder and am on meds. I'm a lot better than I was in the past, but I want to keep improving myself.

Any other anons have similar experiences or have gotten better who can help?

No. 65773

Similar experience but no idea how to get out of the horror show.

It gives me hope for myself that you are better, even if you are not there where ypu want yet.

Sorry, that I have no advice. I wish you the best.

No. 65799

>My parents constantly call me idiot, piece of shit and etc
>When i don't "fuck up" they are just normal parents, everyone else likes them.
Ever considered that they might be right?

No. 65802

I'm in a very similar situation. I'm considering dropping out of university so I can get a job and finally move out. It's the only solution for me at the moment.

Do you have any friends you can stay with for a while when things get heated at home? I had to leave home a couple of times and stayed with a friends for a few weeks, it definitely gave me a break from my mother's instability and also meant that she had time to calm down.

Also, if you do get into university maybe things will get a little better. You could occupy yourself with studying and join societies/clubs/whatever which would mean you would be at home less. This also helped me a little.

On what basis did you make that assumption? For my mother, who is mentally ill, something as simple as not washing a dish counts as a "fuck up" and often leads to physical punishment or verbal abuse.

No. 65803

>On what basis did you make that assumption?
If they behave normally when you do everything right and as you described it you have depression and BDD then the problems seems to lay on your side

No. 65804

Great reading comprehension, I'm clearly not the OP.

Once again, making assumptions. I can't speak for the OP but I can explain my own situation. My mother has BPD and a host of other illnesses. In public and around friends she seems normal. When she is having a good day she seems normal. When she is having a bad day any "fuck up" no matter how minuscule will set her off.

Also, abusive parents are also often a cause and aggravator of depression and other mental health issues.

No. 65815

jesus fucking christ, anon
what kind of monster are you

No. 65816

there is nothing really that you can do.

ive used to empty myself since being 15 years old. When they started verbally abusing me, I imagine staring on a blank wall of stone and behind it are all my feelings and thoughts. If you need put them into a casket, chest or anything too. It's a dissociation method. It needs to be trained but it works.

else: Dont trust them. Dont share anything emotionally important with them. And move out as soon as you can.

No. 65817

bullshit. bullshit. bullshit.
only because they might love the other anon, doesnt mean what they are doing is right. Abusing one is never a way to show love.

No. 65818

it's not your fault, anon.
abusing you has no justification. youre parents are just abusive assholes. thats everything. Guard yourself as much as you can.

and dont listen to the shithead from

No. 65820

that's like saying:
"there is a reason why a guy molested you as a child"
no, there's not.
the responsebility for abuse always lies with the abuser.

No. 65821

do you derive some sort of pleasure from coming into this thread and acting like a cunt?

No. 65823

sounds like you where abused in some way and didnt got over it. how sad.

No. 65900

So I think I found my estranged father's facebook and I've been sitting on it for a year thinking about what whether I wanted to message him or not.
As I'm pretty sure its him (uncommon name and location match up).
I also found some of his siblings/relatives and I was thinking of messaging them instead of him to see if I can confirm its really him.
I was wondering if this is a good idea at all or is it bad?

No. 65919

My life has derailed so much i cant find any kind of meaning on it anymore.
My days are uneventful, the only jobs i have in line for me are meaningless and drone-tier (as well as terribly paid) and im stuck in a small town where everyone my age is either engaged or in long term relationships.

My only comfort till now is spending the days reading the classics of philosophy (kierkegraad, schopenhauer, etc) and listening to medieval compositions. Sometimes i go for sunset walks wich brings me some sort of "content joy" but in the end its all so meaningless.

I feel like i came to a life's end where all my ambitions were just a lie…
I understand that life in its pure essence is a mistake

No. 65924

I'm in a similar position, though I prefer to listen to classical compositions more than medieval ones and read books on history. And I would recommend reading earlier philosophical classics. In my case, Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (though not really a philosophical work in a strict sense) and other stoic philosophers helped me to cope with such thoughts that you described.

Life is meaningless, but that's why it ultimately doesn't matter. What you think is expected from you, what you think that matters, everyone that you know will die and that makes our mistakes and actions so meaningless in the grand scheme of things.
You should try to draw joy from certain subjects, try to find something that you like doing and try to be best at it. Forming a passion to a certain hobby or even a profession will immerse you into your own little cozy world. At least, that's what helped me. I wish I could provide you with better comforting words but I can't. I just hope you find peace as I know how tormenting a mind can be faced with the futility of it all.

If you were near me I would hug you and comfort you as much as I could. Stay strong anon!

No. 65929

Sounds like you would benefit from some optimistic nihilism, anon. It's the only thing keeping me going. Well, that and kawaii weeb shit.

No. 65931

Time is all that we really, truly have. Everything you "own" now will end up in a landfill somewhere or rot where it is or be disentigrated into particles upon the apocalypse of the far future. Why spend such precious time moping and fretting? Understanding how short our lives are is the tip of the ice berg. Be as happy as you can WHILE you can since you won't be around for long. Make lasting impressions on people. Spend time with the ones you like and/or love because it's obviously so limited. Stop being afraid of things in general. Sorry if this reads like an inspirational Facebook post or something, but I've also been through this kind of existential crisis and want to help you get through it too. It fucking sucks feeling so small and like nothing. Existence is 100% meaningless, so do whatever you want.

No. 65940

File: 1501564538309.gif (4.59 MB, 600x600, _mmd_animation_practice__miku_…)

How do you get around lewding an underage character?
I don't want it to come off as cosplaying a child, because I ain't about that Moomoo life but I wanted to do a boudoir shoot with what wigs I have(specifically a Miku Hatsune wig).
I never viewed her as having an age but she's 16.

No. 65942

Go for it, people do way worse with cosplay for Yoko from gurren lagann and shes suppose to be 14.

No. 65948

Miku has so many variations and is so widely cosplayed that you can get away with it, but other characters who are definitely underage and don't have much cosplay attention aren't worth the risk. Miku is fine to slut up.

No. 65949

google "sexy miku hatsune cosplay" on google. everyone lewds her up, i say go for it.

anyway if you're still insecure about it cut some straight bangs in the miku wig and say it's Meme-chan kek

No. 65953

I think there's a little more leeway with sexually mature characters. Most anime characters are in their teens so it's almost impossible to fine one of age/adult. Momocunt's problem is she takes actual child characters and tries to lewd them up. You'll be fine with Miku Hatsune, go for it.

No. 65959

So I asked a guy out like "do you want to go for a quick drink" when we were walking home. (first time I've ever done that, always just wait until they ask me). He said "sorry I can't right now, my flatmate locked himself out so I've got to go straight home". Maybe he was genuinely busy, maybe he just isn't interested, who knows.

Dont think its a good idea to ask again, hard as it is, I guess the ball is in his court now?

Anyone asked a guy out and they didnt jump with yes? More wondering how to not feel awkward, act normal and not let it affect my confidence/self esteem?

I've been single a year, after a long term emotionally abusive relationship, which changed me from a confident outgoing girl, to thinking I was useless and wanting to kill myself. Really dont want all the hardwork I've done feeling better to be destroyed over something pretty innocuous!

No. 65973

seems like a lie. I know it's humiliating, but the best you can do is pretending like you believed him and it's completely not bothering you. Soon you'll believe it yourself. Rejection is an inevitable part of our lives, it always hurts, but also makes us stronger. Consider it just a small challenge on a path to become someone more confident and strong

No. 65975

File: 1501622187884.jpg (Spoiler Image, 27.41 KB, 720x405, women are nothing.jpg)

Her boyfriend decided he wanted to be her emotional tampon instead
you had nothing of value to her
there are millions of others who would do the exact same
You are expendable and replaceable
The faster you learn females don't give a fuck about you unless you're worth for something in their eyes(being their close friend :))) that they can always talk to : ))) isnt ((( : )
the better you'll feel in the long run(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 65976


Thanks! I'll bear that in mind for when I face him in the morning. I'd like to think his excuse was genuine, but Im under no illusion he's interested. I've had guys ask me out when I've honestly been busy, I immediately say something like "not right now, how about tomorrow".

the fact he just said after "see u tomorrow!" all cheerfully like he always does, suggests he just wants to stay friends to me.

No. 65983

Make another attempt, just to be sure.

No. 65990

anyone who uses contacts here? I'm tried them out for the first time at the eye doctor today, and I struggled so much with putting them in and out. Taking out wasn't as bad but I only was able to put one in, once. Anybody have any tips for me? I'm going back in a day.

No. 65992

it gets easier and easier the more you do it. pretty sure everyone has a hard time at first. used to take me like 30 minutes. remember to relax. use your middle finger to hold down your lower lid, and balance the contact on your index finger. while balancing it, carefully use the same index finger to push your top lashes up and place the contact in enough that it comes off your finger. then move your eye around until the contact is comfortable. good luck! just takes practice

No. 65996

File: 1501661413177.jpg (1.79 MB, 2000x3000, 01-alice-and-olivia-fall-2017.…)

was i in the wrong?

(pic unrelated)
I lost my best friend a month ago due to a falling out, and two other subpar friends with it.

>give her less attention and time after dating incredible bf

>she angery i guess? never expresses it to me except for insinuating im rude to her at times
>i apologise to her, tell her ill work on it, and follow on my word
>shes been constantly complaining to male friend #1 in our group (group consists of me, her and 2 boys)
>on the last day of school, shit goes down
>we argue about the ethics of a depressed man who took time off work and allowed his 16y/o to pay bills which lowered her attendance. i said it was wrong, and she blasted me for being insensitive and saying "BUT U CANT GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING BLUHHH" which is obvious bullshit (no derailing). if u have a child its u have to overcome that or get on welfare. she doesnt have depression and i do so its nice to see shes arguing with me about my own illness
>she walks out of the last day school assembly, idk why, maybe cus of previous strop
>male friend #2 is waiting in a room while male friend #1 is searching for her, we're waiting for her to get over herself so we can enjoy the last day
>we all reunite and hang out
>she goes off in a strop again and then male friend #1 starts telling me im a terrible friend to her
>"mate, you've been manipulated"
>cant comprehend, takes it as an insult to his mighty intelligence, flips shit, cusses me out and tells me to leave
> i leave

in the evening

>i get a message from her sister saying hi

>dont wanna b rude so im like hey
>we start talking abt relationships and then she suddenly lays into me
>admits she hacked into my facebook and read all my messages with people to find out i , shockingly, wasnt happy with her behaviour
>i believe its her using her sisters' fb at this point, or team effort at least
>what the fuck.jpg
>she starts claiming her strop earlier was a ''panic attack' and that i neglected her and it was my fault blah blah
>sure jan.jpg
>i block both sisters on all social media and unfriend male friend #1, havent spoken to male friend #2 since either
>change facebook password
>Creepy fucks

this happened 2 months ago. i messaged said friend just now saying hi, can we talk.
her reply is >no stop messaging me
kek because she was the one who betrayed me and manipulated my friends against me by exploiting their empathy and appealing to emotions. lmao boys are gullible as shit
>i texted her just now saying "okay" even though i wanted to say "u betrayed me, but okay"

Was i in the wrong? should i have followed her when she went off in a strop? (she went to bin something, so we assumed she was doing that so how could we have known?)

My thoughts:
there was nothing i could have done to have changed the outcome of this situation. she didnt wanna be friends, and she didnt want me in the friend group and had been anticipating the split for a while.

can i just say id been an incredible friends, always been ther ewhen she cried, stayed up to talk to her, got her food some days, idk how i could have been a better friend.

No. 65999

uh… were u in high school just a month ago? the whole thing sounds petty as shit.

your friend is a retard who doesn't know how to communicate with you for what she wishes and how to resolve the problem which is important in any type of relationship. the facebook thing is just ridiculously immature and nuts and i doubt she really cared for you if she had her sister fuck with your online account. that's not a normal way to end it at all. she's got major emotional issues and whatever was going on with her little tantrum, was not your problem. how can you know what shes thinking if she doesnt tell you.

not only is her behavior out of wack, but after the facebook thing, i wouldn't even try making up with her or talking to her ever again. she sounds like a terrible person overall who needs time to work out her issues and sometimes, that never happens for people no matter how old they become.

No. 66000

just hold your lower lid down and pop them in. they'll adjust on their own over your iris after a few blinks. it's a bit scary/weird at first but youll get used to it.

No. 66072

Thanks for reading and replying.

Seems pretty spot on, not gonna argue with that.

When I finally calmed down (took me two months) after the betrayal and reached out, she immediately dismissed me which was so hypocritical since she was the one who did me dirty, not the other way round. So you're right about not talking to her ever again. Fuckin crazy shit. Shame, we had such an incredible friendship, we were basically soulmates. </3

No. 66075

Well, like someone else said in the thread you made, you guy's would've most likely separated eventually anyway since you guys are just school friends. And no matter how much you get along with someone and how long, there's no guarantee of anything. Last year I split up with the only person I've ever cared about and known for a decade over a petty fight.

And not to get all spiritual or whatever, but a soulmate will only stick around for so long. If you happen to find your twin flame, that shit is forever which I believe only really lucky people will find.

No. 66112

All those "kek" make me think you never really cared about your friend. How easily and quickly you became bitchy confirms it. Not saying she wasn't petty and acted shirty, but you were quite the asshole too

The icing on the shitcake is definitely how you're trying to be logical about someone's feelings and acting pissed about their not being logical. How socially retarded are you?

No. 66116

I'm failing U.S Government (college course) with a 48 and I only have five days to do something about it. Idk what to do anymore, I'm scared of failing for this semester and will most likely have a hard time transferring. Is there anything I should do or just accept it?

No. 66127


im sorry this is word salad. what?

No. 66131

your friend was an asshole, but you're probably an asshole too.

find other friends

No. 66134


take the class over

No. 66139

In all seriousness What does this even mean? What else are people supposed to do

No. 66146


Would I have enough time to do so? I'm graduating in May of '18

No. 66155

You've got this upcoming fall semester and the spring one after that (if your school does semesters idk) to retake it before graduation. A single failed class won't bring down your entire semester, unless all of your other grades are barely passing then idk what to tell you. I can't really figure out what exactly you're worried about, but with 5 days left all you can really do is take the L and redo the class or take an equivalent instead.

No. 66156

I'm an asshole for not enabling her childish bullshit? Sounds like you've got a guilty conscience, anon. Do you cry and throw trantrums when you don't get you own way?

No. 66158


Yes, my school does semesters and it's possible to take it during the spring since I'm mostly free by that point.

I'm just worried about this bringing my GPA down when I worked so hard to bring it back up from the previous summer (I failed accounting at that time) and if failing the second time will interfere with my graduation. Other than that, I've passed all of my classes for the year.

No. 66161

How many other classes did you take? It won't be as bad if you had like 4 other classes to cushion yourself, but your GPA will unfortunately go down.

If you pass the class the second time around you wont have to worry about it interfering with anything.

No. 66186


I'm currently taking three this summer and I've almost completed taking 16 (15 if you count taking the previously failed class twice and passed) classes in total as of today, will be taking four this fall and will be taking one or two classes in the spring; assuming if I passed this one with barely a D (I've been told).

No. 66201

Don't know if this should go here or in the relationship thread; would it be weird to contact someone you haven't spoken to in 6 years but ended the relationship on good terms with? Now that we're both older and more mature I've been wondering if it could work.

No. 66413

does anyone have experience with intrusive thoughts? every single time I let my mind rest my brain goes "kill yourself" and it's pretty fucking annoying because I'm not actively suicidal. I just don't know how to stop it.

No. 66421

Believe it or not intrusive thoughts are really normal. Ever have oneof the fucked up ones where you're driving and you suddenly imagine just ramming into oncoming traffic or turning off a bridge despite the fact you'd never do it? It's apparently really common, I don't think theres a way to turn it off.

Turn it into a joke instead if it'sonly annoying.

No. 66448

i really want to killmyself. i spent 99% of time alone. i have no friends. i haven't made a friend in about three/four years. i don't have a real relationship with my family. i'm alone all fucking day long.

i was abused by one of my sibling while growing up + i have a lazy eye = i never developed any real social skills. i'm completely unable to talk to new people. my new semester in college started recentley and i thought things would be better (since i've lost like 30 lbs and it did wonders to my self esteem). things are the fucking same. i'm just as miserable as last semester. i'll never bond with anyone ever. there is no point in continuing living.

i don't know what to do. since i don't really know anyone, i can't just buy drugs and end it. where i live they don't sell guns either. my only real possibilities are to hang myself or bleed to death, and i still haven't figured out the quirks for those things yet. i'm pretty fucking stupid, so i don't want to fuck it up and end up in a hospital. i just don't care, man. i'm a failure. i need to end this. i serve no purpose in this society. i can't stand being alive. i thought that the diets and the exercise and trying to meet new people would help. but it feels like i've jut wasted the past year or so. it all means nothing. i'm just as miserable and alone now. i can't stand it.


it's l'appel du vide and its a universal thing http://pimediaonline.co.uk/science-tech/lappel-du-vide-the-call-of-the-void/ "Standing at the top of the Eiffel tower on a beautiful, sunny day in Paris, my first thought was ‘I could jump’. Not ‘What a stunning view of a culturally rich metropolis’ or ‘I wonder what the City of Light looks like at nighttime’, but ‘I could jump off of this tower in just one leap’, and I wondered why." they happen to everyone. if the rest of your day you're happy and you don't actually plan on commiting suicide, its meaningless tbh.

No. 66450

Any book or website recommendations for dealing with alcoholic family members? I already have Toxic Paretns but if there's anything else that would help it'd be great.

No. 66458

Menstruation issue but idk where else to post. Before you say 'see a doctor,' I have no money and no insurance.

My period was August 1 - August 4. Now for the last four days (August 10 - August 13) I've been spotting, gradually getting heavier. At first it was just dark brown clumps but now it looks like fresh blood. I'm changing a panty liner every couple of hours.

Risk factors: I'm 22, drink a lot (every day), have a shitty diet, BMI 22.5. Also some stress.

This is just really freaking me out, my period has always been completely regular and fairly light. Anyone else have this happen or any ideas as to what it might be?

No. 66465

Where have you tried making friends? There are usually some meet ups on reddit, meet up .com and etc. it's worth using them to practice. A lot of the times people don't care about what you say, but talking in a positive energetic manner makes everything more interesting, even if what youresaying is horseshit. It's hard to talk in that manner if you're bitter though..

You could also try to see normie things like movies and perhaps games or thrones and general popular things, it gives you something general to talk about that people will generally know.

No. 66467

File: 1502629089921.jpg (66.13 KB, 1080x1287, 77b42ad9a8512d7fba053dd07d7ed1…)

Pierced anons, what are some good websites for buying jewelry? I found a bunch on Google obviously, but who knows what their quality is like.

No. 66471

I started a new job at the beginning of may, good pay, great fun, super coworkers. I'm eating more than twice a week, being able to pay bills, and sleeping regularly.

I have also had constant double vision and no period since I started. I'm trying to pretend everything's fine because I don't want anything to ruin my perfect life right now. How bad is it to ignore a lack of a period? (Not sexually active so no worry of a baby)

No. 66476

i like bodyartforms! if you stick to surgical steel you're good

No. 66477

i really love https://store.painfulpleasures.com/ the site layout and searching is a bit nightmarish, but theyre very reasonable priced for basic metal and acrylic jewelry. great for replacement balls and barbells in weird lengths. i have snakebites that i have to take in and out on a daily basis for work, so i love that they have a ring that's a screw-on ball on one side and flat ended on the other so it can just be twisted out easily with no screwing/unscrewing

No. 66478

samefag to agree with this anon for fancier jewelry

No. 66479

Might be because of stress, a cyst, you don't eat enough or are just too skinny. Maybe everything together.

I hadn't my period for half a year, everything is fine now.
Friend didn't get her period for a year because she had to take hard pain killers, but now she is fine.
Another friend didn't get her period for two month because of a cyst.

So I think it's not too bad, but you should go to a gyn, I don't think that one appointment would destroy your new life.

No. 66943

I've started a new job where I'm still an intern. It's been three months and while I like this job, it's difficult sometimes and I still have to ask questions to my coworkers (like how do I get our software to work, etc). Today they seemed to be very irritated by my questions (even though everyone was constantly talking about random stuff) and were sort of passive aggressive. Someone even more aggressive than passive, even though I'm always polite when asking and only ask if it's necessary. I have to admit I was butthurt.

Any advice on how to deal with a new job (and it's my first office job) and be more productive and learn faster overall? Or just on how not to feel stupid and useless when coworkers flip their shit for asking a question?

I'm really feeling like an older version of Aly today, without the ex anorexia and instagram addiction though.

No. 66949

Yo, so I'm a bit sexually shy and I can feel my boyfriend getting a bit bored of the same thing over and over again. It's not like new things would make me uncomfortable I'm just too shy to bring it up. How do I take things up a notch a bit?

No. 66950

dont you have any fetishes youre interested in?

No. 66976

what is a good way to make and save money?
I have a big jar I keep spare change in, which I usually cash in which can get me anywhere from 30-300 dollars each time I cash in coinstar, which I usually spend on food and bills but I should just put it aside?
I have a few friends that have been talking about starting a business, we're all teens (I'm 19 mods don't come for me) therefore we all don't make that much money and split rent and everything, I want to go to college but student loans can really make you go fuck yourself

some ideas I had were
>having plays/other events to make money
>opening up a kiosk in our town (I live in downtown)
>going on craigslist, doing services and just banking it
>hosting events and sponsoring other businesses

what's a good way to make money /g/?

No. 66993

Yes I do, I just don't know how to bring it up.

No. 66994

Invest in cryptocurrencies.

No. 67006

learn how to code. you can even learn for free on sites like https://www.freecodecamp.org

No. 67018

What can you do after learning coding? What websites are good for those freelance jobs?

No. 67468

I'm currently doing an internship of six months. When I started they said that the aim was to hire me. They generally seem to be loyal to their workers, no one I that know of was fired and everyone who left did so because they found better opportunities.

So now I only have two months to go, and I really hope to be hired. It seems still a bit too early to ask them or to hope for any news at all, but do you have any tips on how to give the most in the remaining time, or how to tell if they intend to keep me or not? I really like this job and I wish to keep it. I'm working so hard and I'm a bit anxious about it - especially because I've had a mojor health setback and I was on health leave for over a month (it was a really serious thing though, I'm prerry much lucky to have survived and with no damage, and the higher ups are aware of this). I work in a junior position in an office, but I have a decent degree of responsiblity, I manage my own projects and clients.

Any tip/help/your experience would be appreciated!

(Anyway, I will start to send out new applications next month, I've already planned this)

No. 67519

Math/cs major here, though I'm still pretty newbie but I have some tips I accumulated from my more experienced friends.

Before you dive into code, decide on what you want to work on. Web apps? General software? Mobile? From that, decide on the most compatible language and frameworks for your desired path.

Then ….

1. Projects projects projects! I really can't enunciate that enough. My friends have gotten jobs at Google/FB/Microsoft etc by having GOOD projects. Good being either widely used, complex but simple to read code etc.

2. Try doing open source projects. There are so many to choose from. It does seem diffcult to start.

3. Learn algorithms and data structures. All technical interviews ask these questions to see how you think and apply the best method for a problem. Everyone I know recommend the Cracking the Code book by Gail… something.

I have some coding experience but I'm still pretty noobie at it. I'll be taking my own advice though ha.

Good luck, anon!

No. 67571

It's "Cracking The Coding Interview" by Gayle McDowell, and you can find the PDF on Library Genesis.

No. 67751

It's probably worth a shot just to see.

No. 67761

not asking for much advice here(theres nothing to do), more of just wanting to hear a second opinion on something. i want to hear some thoughts, and if you would say something if you were on my situation.

>abusive home

>brother and i have "weird" relationship, where we sleep in same bed and were close friends. we are close to each other but no one else in the family.
>long story short, brother rapes me and i never tell anyone in the family.
>what happened fucked me up. never developed correctly in an emotional level. only time i've talked about it was during a mental breakdown.
>get older. try to move on. still close to brother.
>brother has anger issues, the same that dad used to have. we've gotten into heated arguments where he has hurt me. he'll always wait a day or two before apologizing and everything gets back to normal.
>in spite of all that stuff, we are still super close.

anyway, now to the actual thing that i wanted to talk about lol
>brother recommends me to watch some tv show. he seems to be obsessed with the show, owns the book, the series dvd, the movie.
>start watching it recently.
>the show has a subplot line where a mother was raped by her older silbing. she explains that she lived in an abusive home. her older brother took advantage of her and got her knocked up. she even has a baby. lots of scenes of the woman screaming "HE RAPED ME!" while crying. she also got raped by a different guy on the first episode. i haven't finished it yet. stopped watching when the rapist brother tell his son how he loved her.
>all these god awful memories came back. feeling super freaked out now that i know he's been watching this show and loving it. theres tons of incest shit in it. tons of rape talk. it makes me feel so anxious. i have no fucking idea why my brother would recommend me to watch this shit. its super creepy considering…well, you know.

not sure how i feel about this. he's not violent towards me anymore. all that bad stuff happened years ago. but still like… do you think that's normal? like he's just recommending it cause its good and that it? am i paranoid for thinking this shit is creepy as hell? its bates motel, based on psycho. would you be freaked out?? would you say anything about it? none of my friends know about what happened so i have no one else to ask :(

pic related my reaction a few days ago watching the first episode and seeing the mother get raped. and theeen, confess to getting raped by his brother too in later episodes. almost had a heart attack with that shit.

No. 67779

You need to get the fuck away from your brother.

No. 67782

I'm like 98% sure your brother is a full blown psychopath and you need to cut him out of your life as soon as humanly possible.

>not sure how i feel about this. he's not violent towards me anymore. all that bad stuff happened years ago. but still like… do you think that's normal? like he's just recommending it cause its good and that it? am i paranoid for thinking this shit is creepy as hell? its bates motel, based on psycho. would you be freaked out?? would you say anything about it? none of my friends know about what happened so i have no one else to ask :(

Does really it matter what his intentions are? He fucking RAPED you, has never apologized for it, and still has anger issues to this day.

He's dangerous for you, anon. Run far the fuck away.

No. 67787

Are you talking about Bates Motel or something?

No. 67894

do you work? start waitressing. find a half decent place and you'll only have to work a couple shifts to make like $300/$400 weekly. sometimes more sometimes less. I work 40ish hours/5 or 6 days a week as a waitress in a dive bar/restaurant and on shitty weeks I make 700/800, on good weeks over a thousand. I bust my ass but it's worth it. I'm not attending college rn but I think it's a great option for people in school

No. 67902

What is the distinction between wanting to talk to your professor to help you learn more and wasting their time? I was trying to talk with my professor today about some stuff but he seemed like he was wanting me to go but was too polite to kick me out. lol

No. 68157

For 1 year I've been considering camming I can do the weeb shit because I have a youthful face. But is it still lucrative?

No. 68175

Not really, the market is oversaturated and most top girls are scamming their way there - paying random dudes to tip huge amounts to get to the top.

If you're willing to take your clothes off for money, just be a stripper. Not only is it a hell of lot more money but it's pretty damn anonymous if you dance far away enough and get a wig or something. It's more intimidating for sure, but that's why they make money.

No. 68190

Stripping is much more dangerous, as with all RL sexwork. Plus, anon seems to want to do the cutesy gravure type of camming rather than the standard type.

No. 68192

How do you deal with being sensitive?

I got into an argument with a mutual acquaintance a couple days ago and I'm still a little miffed. I wasn't even wrong in the argument since my friends incl the mutual told me I was right, but it's like an intrusive thought that pops up in my head. Would've helped if she was a standard idiot, but she acted like she was taking the high road the whole time, was super melodramatic, and she came off as an extreme narc. I don't know if I cared about the argument itself, or the fact that the bitch's attitude in particular makes me so angry. How do you stop caring about irrelevant people?

No. 68269

I met my boyfriend online 8 months ago and we’ve already met in person. I’ve currently been “living” with him at his house for over a month now. I believe that he sincerely loves me, but he spends all of his fucking free time playing video games. It’s really starting to get on my nerves. I have to do all the work emotionally: hug him, say “I love you” first, talk to him and start conversations, initiate sex. If I didn’t put the effort he’d probably just stare at his computer all day.
I literally do nothing but wait for him to come back from work since I don’t have my car, so it’s really irritating that after waiting 8 hours he can’t even manage to sit and give me his undivided attention. I've told him time and time again it makes me feel unloved and unappreciatedand he says he understands but he does the same shit.
I really do love him and he’s great besides this awful habit of his but at this point it truly feels like his fucking PC is his girlfriend. I’m fed up. Should I give him an ultimatum?? I don’t know how to handle this anymore.

No. 68271

The way I handled this, personally, was to just let myself feel the feelings. How you feel about something isn't true or false, right? It's just kind of how you feel. Instead of trying to push it back like "this is a stupid thing to think about and I am above this", give yourself some time to process it entirely. The idea that a perfect person should brush off all things and love everyone, even the person who was a dick, is kind of a dumb societal idea. I'm not quite to the point where I never care, but I can sort of quick-run all my anger for someone who just rear-ended me into "I would hold your eyes open as your children killed themselves in front of you, cursing you for having given them life, and then I would skin you alive". I know how it sounds, yeah, mega batshit insane, but I haven't been angry at someone for more than the few seconds it takes to think that sentence. I have never laid awake at night thinking about past assholes.

your mileage may vary everyone has a balance they have to find pls no FBI

No. 68274

"I feel unloved" "Well that's a shame sweet-tits but it's that time of the day to play League of Legends"

What are you waiting for? This isn't going to get better. Being alone would feel better and be less work. You could cultivate interesting habits alone and save the energy from nurturing a manchild. There will be many people in your life that you love, and some of them will have the emotional range of a teaspoon with a leak. Love isn't a one-time event. Shit, love is actually pretty common.

Practically speaking, if you're not on the lease or paying the utilities, then there's no reason to tolerate this. I mean, people divorce over this exact shit all the time. Maybe he loves you too, just as much, but emotionally unavailable love without respect is worth less than nothing.

No. 68279

I'm going trough immense heartbreak atm, i found out that my first love either loved and though about his ex for our entire relationship (4 years) or never loved me at all.
i Saw and old text he had written to her while we were broken up, he said a day didnt pass where he though about her etc.

How go i live with being used for so many years and never being loved by my first love? anyone tried anything like this? how do i cope?
I keep having nightmares about them..

No. 68280

A girl started sitting with me and two male Asian friends in one of my classes a few weeks ago. She seemed nice, we have stuff in common, she’s a huge weeb, etc. But now they all hang out together and ignore me in class. I found out that they all talk together outside our group chat and study together.. I seriously think she was using me to get to them because they’re Asian.. I’m honestly so hurt I can’t bring myself to go to class and I know that’s pathetic. I’ve never even had a friend group or a group chat before.. I’m so pathetic I don’t know what to do.. should I sit away from them? What if it’s a misunderstanding and they don’t really hate me? But if so why wouldn’t they ask me to hang out, too?

No. 68283

Found out yesterday my 66 year old mother has stomach cancer. Don't know what kind or stage yet.

I feel so so so depressed. Like every day from now on I'm going to be miserable. I guess I need advice on how to motivate myself to function and behave as this progresses.

Background: I have a pretty nice life overall although I'm lacking in close friends or support systems nearby. Close with my father, but not really my siblings. I have a husband and 10 month old baby and 2 middle aged dogs.

My mom, after my husband, is my closest emotional support. I've been through some intense martial issues in the past, and although we worked through it and are great now, my mom is always going to be the one I feel 100% certain will always love me. It's different than a spouse. My heart hurts

No. 68292

Are there any good HIIT videos on youtube or a set of exercises that helped any of you farmers? I'd like to get in shape. Please help!

No. 68298

Maybe a stupid question, but how do you guys manage or process anger from being wronged/insulted/belittled? I need to learn better ways to cope rather than taking it out on myself physically. My anger is almost unbearable and although I can hide it well in public, when I'm back home by myself I just can't keep it inside anymore and I end up scratching/punching myself or tearing my hair out. Obviously this isn't healthy but I can't help it at this point.

I know I should have tougher skin at my age (22) but I just…don't. Whenever people are cruel to me or belittle me I just want to hurt myself and break shit. I really don't want to be an angry/bitter person but I also don't know how to process my feelings in a healthy way and just let things go.

No. 68323

Mm. Why don’t you take the initiative and start making plans to hang out with them? Tell them that you need help with homework or something, like that they’ll start including you in more activities outside school.

No. 68340

File: 1506699700748.jpg (54.9 KB, 400x400, 20170929_103738.jpg)

Anyone got any advice for getting rid of a cyst? I have one in pic related area. It came up last year and kept getting infected, but went away after a few months. It's back now, came up yesterday, and the pain is really terrible. My doctor gave me heavy antibiotics last time, but they didn't work. I don't have insurance for surgery so…

No. 68342

lol where's the taint on that pic. looks crazy

No. 68344

I have a bartholins gland cyst, lower right corner. I've had pretty good results from using a sitz bath with the warmest water I can stand for 30 minute sessions. I've also recently purchased serrapeptase and heard good results for cysts but I haven't tried it myself yet.

No. 68346

File: 1506717881809.gif (781.91 KB, 500x490, tumblr_ncdjso2VJM1s4cujlo1_500…)

I'm thinking about hiring an online fitness coach, but the deadline to sign up is TONIGHT. The thing is though is that its around $300 a month. Is it worth it?

I've been trying for years to lose weight but I'm failing hard every year. Plus I've emailed the coach back and forth and he's laid out everything for me, its just a matter of myself going through with it. And the cost kinda scares me. I only have several hours to sign up. Should I go through with it or find other options?

No. 68347

Is there a limit on the sessions per week? Or can you just book him whenever you want? Honestly you'd really only need like 1-5 sessions then you can plan your own stuff but if you need someone to motivate you it could be worth it. Where I'm from PTs can get from $30-70 per hour.

By the way exercise helps minorly in weight loss it's all about what you're eating. Are you drinking soda? Having too much snacks? You don't need to cut "bad stuff" completely but just limit it. My Fitness Pal can let you know how many calories/kj a day, you might be shocked.

No. 68350


He only takes a few clients every couple of months. I asked him if I could book him whenever, and he said his schedule can't only line up with a few ppl if they want 1:1 coaching. I've actually fixed my diet a long time ago, only drink water (a sweet tea very rarely), and take a small cheat meal every two weeks. Mostly my problem comes from being skinny-fat and being petite. I honestly think I just need to move my lazy ass to lift weights. Thank you for the advice, I'm gonna test the My Fitness Pal as well.

No. 68361

> By the way exercise helps minorly in weight loss it's all about what you're eating.

Not the same person you were responding to but I can tell you that's not the same in my case. I really watch my intake plus I don't eat junk food at all and I have a hard time losing weight. I'm not overweight but definitely chubby so exercise would seem like a good way to get rid of extra pounds which are so hard to lose.

No. 68363


Not that anon, but no, I lose weight solely with working out, and not just cardio either, I haven't once needed to cut any foods and I only go 3 times a week.

No. 68367

Use MyFitnessPal and you'll realise you are either eating normal amounts of calories hence why working out helps you into caloric decifit, or you're overeating.

No. 68371


Same anon here. I decided to not join the program this time around, and instead join a gym, figure out a routine on my own, and use the My Fitness Pal to count macros/calories/etc. It seems a little inaccurate with numbers, but I'll fiddle around with it some more. If this still doesn't work out for me, then I'll see about a personal trainer next time. Thanks for the responses!

No. 68386

Check out YouTube if you need any help with any of your exercises, good luck!

Oh and before and after pictures can also help motivate you. Personally, I am someone who gives up quite easily if "nothing happens". If you're like me, instead try checking the scales perhaps once a fortnight instead of everyday.

No. 68387

File: 1506760996922.jpg (84.22 KB, 978x758, DKKx_hjX0AE2UaE.jpg)

So alot or stress in my life came up and travel too and for the last few months I stopped going to gym and have comfort ate a lot more unhealthily

My work shifts are also lethal and I need to get into meal planning and cooking batches.

What are some ways to get myself back into the swing instead of pushing it and always saying I will do it tomorrow etc then falling back in?

No. 68390

Thanks! I will def check MyFitnessPal. I'm sure I'm not overeating but I don't feel like eating less than 1000 cals per day because I know long term it won't be sustainable.

Btw could you share your workout or any resources that you use? I've been following an old Cindy Crawford's training video (which is great) but I'm looking to diversify my workout.

No. 68402

How the fuck do I stop caring so much about what other people think about me? I'm generally a bit of a pushover and am really nice irl (I save my negativity for lolcow haha), but there's still people who are mean and rude to/about me. It makes me upset and I think about it a lot to the point where it's affecting my life. Even when I think logically about it and realize that the other person is a bitch or having a bad day or whatever, it's still a blow to my self esteem. How can I stop letting it affect me so much?

No. 68421

i try multitasking, so it doesn't feel like i'm wasting more time on it. when you're in the kitchen doing something that takes a half an hour just make yourself a big greek salad for the next days shift. i also get motivation by cooking something really delicious and then make a huge fucking batch

when someone is being rude to you just stand up for yourself right there on the spot

No. 68425

I've already written on here some time ago, but my situation still hasn't got any better…

In 2 weeks the new semester will start and the last 2 years i didn't manage to make any friends. I'm lonely all the time and this has been making me so depressed; i've always had low confidence and very few friends, but since i finished high school everything has gone downhill.

Now would be the chance for a new start, but i'm so fucking scared and anxious, i'm simply not ready yet and i know that again it won't be getting better and i will be sitting alone in all my classes again. Sometimes i feel totally paranoid, everybody around me is having fun with their friends and i'm sticking out because i'm all alone… It goes so far that i don't even go to class because i'm too scared, just thinking of it makes me sick, but in the same time, all i wish is to spend my life like any other young girl…
I really don't know what to do anymore

No. 68429

don't worry. try finding friends that share your interests outside the faculty. i sat alone in most my classes and i felt the burning glare of lame girls but what are you gonna do about it

No. 68433

Everybody says finding friends in school is the easiest, but if i don't even manage to do thatn how could i find friends otherwise…?

No. 68436

well, you know that's stupid because it's a lottery with what kind of kids you will end up in class. bonding with someone over something you love is much easier and also a lot more meaningful than bonding over classes (unless you're really passionate and academic and wish to find similar people, then it's the right place to start). people that only made friends in school often try to shake them off later on in life, or just end up estranged as soon as school ends

i get it that you don't want to be alone in class and i think it's hard to come up to someone for the first time. it puts you in a difficult position (because they didn't come up to you first). you could come off desperate easily. if you really want to befriend someone in class, i'd advise you to come up with a strategy. you need to find a reason to walk up to someone and you need to pile up all your normie interests and be prepared to talk about them. even if you fake it til you make it

No. 68437

otherwise, online maybe? or pick up a hobby and join a sort of community

No. 68581

I haven't slept in two days straight. Haven't been able to nap or even relax at all.
I don't know what's going on but I feel utterly horrible, not just because I'm tired but it's like I can feel excess weight being piled on or something. I don't know if lack of sleep and weight gain go hand in hand, but even with all of this happening I've still stayed under daily calorie limits.Yet I'm sitting here staring at a freshly starting stretch mark on my side.

I'm so frustrated and I'm wondering if you guys have any tips on what I can do to get some damn sleep and calm this bloating (?) down. I feel like a fucking whale-sized balloon and it would be great to have some kind of an understanding about what my body is doing.

No. 68585

>have unprotected sex with fiance all the time for past four years
>period has always been like clockwork, 5 day period and 28 day cycle
>noticeably fukt up pulling out about day 20 of cycle
>now day 31 and no sign of period just painful tits

No. 68591

Hate to be that bitch but you know pulling out isn't the most reliable of methods. There are too many variables you can't control. I'm married and we still use condoms when I'm not on birth control.

Painful tits are a very common symptom of early pregnancy.

No. 68593

look up herbs to try and induce menstruation, if still no luck and you dont want a child, i hope you have money saved for the abortion. good luck

No. 68594

Just how fucking dumb you have to be to use this method in 2017 with all the options available for actual protected sex.

If you are pregnant, you deserve it, holy shit, you dumb bitch.

No. 68603

>I hope you have money to murder your own child because of your own irresponsible mistake, and unwillingness to take responsibility for it.

>Zomg, I can't take care of a kid, I've only been capable of child birth for over a decade, feminism told me I'm supposed to wait until I'm 35 and my ovaries are rotten to have kids (which will probably be retarded)

At least I'll take solace in the fact that you'll be punished by God in the afterlife.

No. 68604

>I can't take care of a kid, I've only been capable of child birth for over a decade

You realize that physically being able to birth a child doesn't necessarily mean you have the means to take care of it after it's born right? I mean are you the same type that looks down on mothers that get benefits from the government? Because anon could be working full-time minimum wage living in a shitty apartment in an area with shitty schools and shitty daycares that she will have to put her children in because she needs to earn money to provide for them.

Part of the reason why a lot of women are waiting until "they're 35" isn't feminism, dumbass. It's because we're fucking BROKE and struggling. It would be irresponsible to bring a child into a situation like that.

No. 68605

>are you the same type that looks down on mothers that get benefits from the government?
Not if they're white, with white children. I do look down on mothers that divorce and collect alimony/child-support though.

Honestly, you're right. I hate living in a capitalist society where the only thing that matters is money. I hate that there is women killing their own children because they don't have enough money to afford them, they're still in the wrong though, I would never kill my child no matter how poor I was. Women are materialistic and shallow though, all they care about is money.

I hate that it has turned all adult women into literal whores, and turned all adult relationships into prostitution, because no matter how attractive or how good of a personality a guy has, if he doesn't (and won't) provide money, then literally over 99% of women won't date him.

No. 68606

> Women are materialistic and shallow though, all they care about is money.

Not that I should even dignify this with a response, but wanting to be able to provide for your child is not materialistic or shallow. It is responsible and mature, and it's something more people need to be concerned about when they are thinking about having children or even putting themselves in a situation where they may end up pregnant.

Take a break from /pol/ and MRA blogs and calm down. Incessant complaining about women is obnoxious and unproductive. If you have a problem with women, relationships with them are easy to avoid. Problem solved for you.

No. 68615

File: 1507241589498.jpg (76.85 KB, 796x1024, DKcCXwgUQAAt_v0.jpg large.jpg)

upset farmer here

my boyfriend and me have been together a while and both his parents who are divorced have only met me once

we got together when he had a lot of problems with honesty and he would lie nearly every day but it's getting better, however because parents are usually biased, they'd only ever see his side and blame me for his getting upset even though his issues stemmed from before we even met and the lying was something he depended on in social circumstances

his dad is friendly and very laddy, always makes sexual remarks about women and is a bit smug at times and the first comment he ever had about me was because I have big breasts they're a waste because personally that's his taste. Obviously boyfriend didn't care because it's his taste and choice not his dad's

but when he's saying to my boyfriend about how the woman he's dating has a cute coworker and how he should set them up and condescending shit like that I feel awful. Obviously my bf is honest about it and I appreciate that, its's just how do I get his dad to actually accept me and stop making remarks?

I come from a terribly abusive background so I've never introuced the bf to my family as my mother is controlling and a sociopath and would honestly ruin him if she could, and the first thing his dad says is how it's because I must be ashamed of my bf

i hate these assumptions and I wish they'd stop. Bf's mum left him and said he was too immature and he's had several women dump him so I don't know if maybe he actually is a bit offensive to women or has a childish mindset but I feel like he doesn't see me as attractive enough for his son even though his son is mad about me and he's just always saying shit like this

We've met once and seemed to get on fine. He seems to think I'm a horrible ugly bitch who isn't good enough and even though my bf has anger and lying issues the minute anyone sees him upset it gets assumed that I must have caused it and that there's no way maybe their son has flaws and issues he's working on too.

we are both working hard. I don't understand.

we're fixing our issues but it feels like the dad is in a hurry for him to get rid of me.

It affects me and makes me want to starve and cake my face in makeup and be all airheaded just so I get approved

How am I meant to be in a longterm when the family don't apprve? it upsets me enough I can never really depend on my own family to support us.

No. 68616

Does you boyfriend stick up for you when his father says this shit? Is he aware of the extent of it and how you feel about it? I don't want to speak badly about your boyfriend but that would be a red flag for me if he just laughs along when his father says stuff and just lets it slide.

If he isn't aware, maybe bring the subject up to him. Honestly if my parents said similar things about and to my boyfriend, I would be just as upset as he would be and I'd want to have a talk with them. I think that's your best bet is to have your boyfriend discuss it with his dad. I think it wouldn't go well if you personally brought it up with his dad.

Whatever you do, don't change yourself for some old misogynist asshole just to get his approval. Don't starve yourself or dumb yourself down for him. You obviously love and care for his son, you sound like a positive influence and a good partner to him, so if his dad still has an issue with you that's his fucking problem.

But personally, if your boyfriend is ok with all this I think that's the biggest issue. Good luck anon. And one last time, just know that the issue is with the father and not with you. Don't try to mold yourself to be "worthy" of his approval because with those types of people, it's never enough. They will always find something else.

No. 68617


My boyfriend shrugs off his dad's comments and rejects them because he disagrees, he'll say I'm gorgeous and enough to his dad and he also stuck up for me when his dad said the shame comment by saying it wasn't that

thank you, honestly it's just upsetting. I don't know how to change the dad's opinion but it does make him look like a misogynist pig. He was saying to my bf about attraction as if he has none towards me even though when we're intimate he seems really into me.

Can I still have a good relationship with my bf if his family are always going to be this way?

No. 68618

>Can I still have a good relationship with my bf if his family are always going to be this way?

If you want my random internet person opinion - yes, but it will be difficult. If you love your boyfriend and he loves you, then I would say don't let his piece of shit dad get in the way of that. Unfortunately his dad is his dad and he will always be present in your boyfriend's life, and therefore in yours as well. Like I said in my og response, you can't change people like that unfortunately. His father is probably set in his ways.

You can take comfort in the fact that both you and your boyfriend know what his dad says about it you is uncalled for and complete bullshit. Your boyfriend thinks that you are good enough for him - don't let his father make you think that you aren't. It isn't his relationship, it's yours and his sons. I haven't been in a situation like this so I don't mean to act like a know it all or come off as rude, but your post made me sad because your boyfriend's dad reminds me of my dad. The most I can say is that everytime he says some nonsense like that to you, ignore it and remind yourself of who it's coming from. It's no reflection on you because from what it sounds like, he has hardly even taken the time to get to know you. Maybe his dad will come around, maybe he won't. But his behavior is a reflection of him, not you or your worth.

No. 68619


hey, thank you. I think you're right. I don't like when he pushes it onto my bf though, he can talk shit about me but trying to set him up with other girls is just beyond disrespectful, even suggesting it to my bf was disgusting.

I will never understand perverted old farts, ever. I just want a happy relationship with my bf and despite our troubles I really do think the world of him and want this to work out

No. 68623

How does one cope with your significant others family when they’re a boring bunch of basic idiots with ADD and makes petty meaningless drama for no fucking reason.

My bf knows I have a certain.. distaste for his family, and it is hurtful for him for which I try really hard to make amends for. But man, it gets REALLY hard sometimes

No. 68661

So much this. My bfs mom and sister dragged me into their drama a couple of times over the years. I kept doing them favors and kept letting them drain me with their bullshit. Then one day I didn't oblige and they both started insulting me and projecting massively

Now I just avoid them whenever the fuck I can

No. 68686

How does one deal with constant need to be the best? I started college refecently and noticed whenever somebody does a task better or faster than me i feel irrationally angry. It's the same with everything else in my life - popularity, work and even the food i eat.
I am not trying to compete with other people and i don't show it but i can't help but feel frustrated whenever i'm not the #1.

No. 68689

i think of it this way. everything in life requires work and effort. if you constantly remind yourself of this, when you get irrationally angry and try consciously to calm yourself down it will become less of a ride

No. 68693

That's the thing anon, i realize it and i do put a lot of effort into what i'm doing. It angers me when i'm doing my best yet i fail to br the best.
I'm afraid i may have NPD as too many symptoms match perfectly.

No. 68694

Don't self-diagnose, it's cringey.
It's a very common thing to feel, but eventually you'll grow up and/or realise that some of those people can probably afford to put a lot more effort into whatever it is they're better at, or like it more than you do. Very few things in this world require heaps of raw talent, even though it helps a bit in the beginning.

No. 68698

Thank you, it really helped. Especially the last part. Hope you're having a good day anon.

No. 69022

Any Australia anons here that can answer some questions for me about emigration? I'm American, looking for a better life, but I don't want to move to a large city like Sydney. Would it be hard socially for me in a small town? I'm a day care worker, so would it be more difficult to find employment? I'd like to integrate as much as possible…

No. 69023

Small towns are small for a reason, they don't have many jobs. Unless you're rolling in it, you wouldn't be able to afford living in or around the Sydney CBD even if you wanted to. The most realistic option is the outer suburbs, but they might be the sort of place you're trying to avoid in the first place. You can use seek.com.au to get an idea of what jobs are out there.

Can't really help with the social side of things though, if you're good at making friends then you'll make them anywhere. If you need to join classes, clubs etc to meet people then the closer to the city the more opportunities there are for that.

No. 69027

My husband would be coming with me and he's got a better paying career, so I feel like we could make it living right outside of a big city, but I don't really want to move there. I just prefer a smaller setting, I guess. Mostly, I was wondering the attitude people have in smaller places towards American immigrants. (We're white, if that matters.)

No. 69035

Oh you'd be fine, nobody cares about white immigrants.

No. 69054

i'm an american living in australia in a smaller town around 20k people. so not hugely small, but smaller, within driving distance of bigger areas.

i've found it really easy socially, much easier than cities even, but be careful what you do/say because things do get around in towns, everybody knows everyone…

i don't think you'll have much of an issue finding a job, i've never found it a problem.

can i ask how you intend on coming over? like what visa? day care worker isn't a job that qualifies you for skilled work.

No. 69058

Thanks for sharing your experience! When I finish my degree, I'll be able to work in primary school education.

No. 69071

Anyone here recently come off long term hormonal contraception? I've had the implant for four years but I haven't had sex in over a year and I've been feeling a bit iffy about the idea of artificial hormones pumping through my body 24/7 for… no reason, really.

I barely get periods anymore which is a great upside. I have two years left of my current implant before I have to replace it.

I think I'll probably get it taken out soon but I don't know how my body will react.

No. 69117

Has anyone ever done a liquid fast? I'm interested in trying it out for a few days in an effort to reduce some excessive bloating and I'm wondering if anyone has any advice or drink/soup recipes they'd like to share.

No. 69163

You will have painful and terrible shits. If you must, do a fruits and vegetables fast.

No. 69177

My boyfriend hates being open about masturbating and it's really upsetting me.

He hates when I ask and he will be honest and I love learning his kinks but is it not common for girls to appreciate the openness?

No. 69183

Did it about 2 times then i was a dumb little ana-chan and i really wouldn't recommend it.

If you really want to, you definatly need to take laxatives before, til you're completely empty, otherwise you will get terrible headaches. Starting from the 3rd day you're stomach will hurt a lot, since it wants to get rid of all the shit, but you simply can't go until about the 5th day, than it get's easier. But before that, you will get severe cramps and feel nauseous all the time, so rethink it…

If you want to detox, why not try like a fruit or vegetable day or a few, i'm sure it still does the job.

No. 69195

My boyfriend's stepmom is an anal anxious white soccer mom mess who's quite rude and controlling towards his otherwise chill dad. I just try to be nice and civil and not make comments that might cause something, but after I leave her presence I always sigh of relief

His sister on the other hand is a piece of work who seems weirdly jealous of me, on Christmas (first time i met his family) she interrupted a conversation I was having with my boyfriend's aunt to loudly ask if i was drunk. I had just gotten there and I'd had like 2 sips of a drink.

My advice is to kill them with kindness. If you're nothing but nice and they still find something to say about you, then it's on them

No. 69205

Mine was like that, too. He's opened up over time, which I tried to make him comfortable about doing. It helps if you're open yourself. Mine still won't do it in front of me, which is fine. I'm just curious to see what kind of stimulation he likes. People are taught that it's private and secret, and most of the time, it is.

No. 69351

File: 1508523908231.gif (29.28 KB, 377x282, epidural.gif)

Has anyone here ever had an epidural before? For any reason. I really believe having one for child birth has exacerbated my chronic lower back pain. I don't want to be on pain killers for the rest of my life, so I just wanted to ask if anyone has advice for dealing with it or remedies and such that you use.

No. 69356

I feel like I have issues with disagreeing with people irl because I don't want to be wrong or rock the boat, and I don't like it.

I've become more aggressive and confident because my career and being a woman living in a city makes it so I have to be to survive, but I worry anyway that I change my opinions to compromise in the moment, and then later on stress out and go "uhh wait no"

At the beginning of my relationship, we used to argue more about politics, but now, I try to compromise and see his point of view, while explaining mine, instead of jumping to getting upset or pissed. It feels like I see myself as a softie and say that, which is probably slightly self-deprecating, but we're both leftists, so it's not like our opinions hugely differ or our morality doesn't match up. I also know in my heart that he wants to do the right thing for as many people as he can, while being realistic/logical about it, and that it's the same for me as well.

But sometimes, I worry I compromise my opinions to avoid conflict, because it makes me nervous. Yet, I also recognize that I've got fluidity of thought and can change my mind when presented with new information.

Is it a big deal to disagree on politics or semantics in a marriage, really? It never seemed like it to me, but I'm having a hard time getting over details. I'm a sperg-chan so it feels like that's why. I get stuck on things sometimes and obsess when they're not important, but mess my head up.

More importantly, how do you respectfully discuss a topic and disagree without getting too emotional or having doubts about the other person?

I would never love my family less for being more conservative or liberal than me, unless it spread to treating my friends/spouse like crap.

I have to wonder if "avoiding volatile topics with people unless in the right mindset if you don't want to fight" and "trying to understand someone's point of view, compromise, and/or accept your disagreement" are actually bad things, and I'm anxious over nothing. It's not like these are "gas the [x]" conversations lol

This seems like more of an issue we women face than men, idk if it's socialization-related or even a bad thing if you're not changing yourself drastically…

No. 69357

samefag, but just writing that out makes me feel way better already

I don't feel like I'm so terrible or weak for being this way, or that I shouldn't trust other people. Maybe a bit more reasonable and calm for not letting my emotions take over as badly as they used to and trying to hear others out if they're not being jackasses or bigots or whatever.

it sure feels better than arguing with people so much, tbh, and I still have a lot of passion in debating certain topics, writing about philosophy or some politics, and correcting false stuff, and I still post it up on my social media or tell my spouse/family.

I don't know. As I said, maybe it's not such a bad thing, and I'm convincing myself it's bad because of anxiety, since thinking about it in depth and putting it into words, it doesn't sound/feel like I'm really compromising my opinions the way I thought.

Still, I don't feel confident in how to "agree to disagree" without feeling weird about it, or have a polite debate with people I care about sometimes, and want to hear what others have to say.

No. 69494

How do I graduate college early?

No. 69513

File: 1508816930531.jpg (36.28 KB, 500x363, tumblr_on693cXa2K1tm1x8po1_500…)

hi /g/irls… i have some issues regarding "sexual abuse". i think i might have fucked up with something i told a doctor…

>mother never takes me seriously when i say i need mental help. she takes me to a general doctor (i'm not american so i'm not sure if that's the right word, but like a family doctor).

>she tells the doctor that i'm stressed and anxious. i ask her to leave. they both think i'm being a brat and ignore me. the doctor is old and mean and he's asking HER the questions instead of me. i insisted again until she left the room.
>once she's gone i start crying and saying "i've dealt with some sexual abuse. and my father's death bothers me. and my pet's death bothers me too. i'm all alone now"
>he only cares about the sexual abuse part and keeps pushing me questions about it.
>he ends up refering me to a psychologist. he says its a great psychologist who can help with my repressed "angst".

but here's the thing…

my history with "sexual abuse" was a one time thing. when i was like six. and it wasn't even by force. it bothers me, sure. but i'm scared that the psychlogist will too focus on the whole "sexual abuse" thing too. because i'm not even sure if it counts as sexual abuse. again, it only happened once and i wasn't forced, i was just really young and didn't know what sex was. i'm scared to see the psychologist guy now.

/g/ anons, am i a victim of sexual abuse, even if it was just a one time thing? did i do the right thing by saying that i am?

i don't know. i'm scared i'll tell the psychologist guy and that he's just going to think i wasted his time. he probably thinks its this big deal and that i'm a victim. i'm afraid i'll disappoint him and he'll think i'm a brat too.

i don't even know why i told him. i guess i got super frustrated hearing my mom say "you're fine anon. you're stressed. you don't need a doctor for this." i guess i wanted to be taken seriously. i don't know… what do you think?

No. 69521

Was the person who was inappropriate with you old enough to know it's not ok?
Even if they weren't, it obviously bothers you to this day. You're still thinking about it and it seems like it has left you with some kind of baggage. i understand that you might be panicking and questioning yourself, but you were 6 years old - even if you don't think it was 'sexual abuse', you couldn't possibly have knowingly consented to doing something like that.
The therapist should be able to help you regardless. They won't force you to talk about anything you don't want to talk about, but i think even your doubts are worth mentioning.

No. 69526

are you underage?

No. 69529

take too many classes at once and summer ones.

No. 69533

I love and adore my boyfriend of 4 years, we live together and he is such an amazing person.. except that im not sexually attracted to him anymore. His appearance hasnt changed, i just dont feel like having sex with him anymore. He respects my boundaries so we havent had sex in the past.. 2 months now? But im starting to notice its really bothering him big time. He feels unattractive and like i dont love him. But I do love him and find him attractive, just not in a sexual way. Idk why. I still masturbate sometimes but even then I think of other people… i have super low libido though so Im fine with a completely sexless relationship too but obviously hes not.
What should I do? Whats wrong with me? I dont want to ruin our relationship over something as uninportant (to me) as sex.

No. 69548

I'd talk to him about your low libido and see how this all really feels from his side. If you know it's weighing on his mind and you want to save your relationship he's gotta know so you can both work out something together, though I wouldn't necessarily say outright 'I'm not sexually attracted to you anymore'. Libido waxes and wanes for a lot of people, it doesn't have to mean something is wrong but how is the rest of your life going? Being under stress and the like definitely affects the sexual appetite.

No. 69873

Hi /g/. When I was 14 I met a 27 year old online and we exchanged pics, vids and sexual conversation for a few years. I recently looked him up and I feel really strange. At the time it was consensual but looking back he obviously had groomed me. Should I report him so that he can be "kept an eye on"? I feel horrible but I would feel worse if he actually harmed a child. Also, I may have been 14 but I had an eating disorder and was very underdeveloped, I looked/acted a lot younger. I still have all our conversations and things he sent me. I don't have a clue if what we did was normal or if he's a pedophile, lol.

No. 69874

Its not normal and he was a pedo creep

No. 69884

I'm so scared. There was this guy who confessed to me a few months back and I told him off. I've been living in another city for 4 months now and yesterday I get off work and he was standing in the lobby waiting for me. I walked out the door and he followed me, I asked him what is he doing here and he said that he would do anything to find me (keep in mind, this is another city) I told him "This is not normal, you know that right??" and he could definitely see I was shaking and almost on the verge of crying. I told him that I didn't want to keep in contact with him and that if I did I would give him my number or profile so we could chat.He told me to calm down and he that he expected me to react this way and gave me his phone number and told me to call him if I ever want to and went off. I'm sorry this is such butchered english but I'm so shaken right now. This person came all the way here and found out where I work and what time I get off.. I don't know, how does one think this is okay? I'm paranoid now he is going to stalk me. I literally want nothing to do with him. Oh god

No. 69893

Ooh, girl. Shit. Sorry. Took me years to shake off a stalker even with getting a restraining order, he'd just go straight out of prison to wait in front of my apartment.

My advice:

If he ever shows up again, do not respond to his "hi" or whatnot, just take out your phone, start filming him, and say: "I have been perfectly clear I do not want any kind of contact with you. If you ever come back again, I will get a restraining order. Go before I call the police." And walk away. If he does not go, call the police.

This is the most important. After saying that, never ever ever everevereverever say another word to him anymore, not a single vowel, not "yes" or "no" or "go away" or anyth. You said and did all that was normally needed. He is not normal. He will perceive ANY kind of communication as contact, and it will fuel him further.

If he keeps showing up, get a restraining order. It does keep MOST freaks out of bay.

What you must do now is inform your family and friends about this situation so that you have a support network, because you are in real danger.

Carry a weapon at all times. Pepper spray is a godsend.

No. 69894

Anyone here with facial piercings? I had my philtrum done in June and I'm wondering if this is normal… Basically, whenever I change the jewelry, (only three times now,) my lip swells slightly. I keep thinking I need to go to a shorter bar because after a few weeks, you can see the bar sticking out a lot from the piercing, but when I go to change it, the shorter bar won't fit, so I put the longer one back in and it's magically the perfect size. Like, am I making it angry or something?

No. 69895

It's just over a month since finding out my fiancé well ex-fiancé if 2 years had been refusing to see me the last few months and only contacting me for money as he had a secret relationship behind my back (aka he cheated). I also found out he had had one previously too….so I was cheated on TWICE. I found out through a snapchat story bitmoji he accidentally posted of another girls bitmoji and I questioned it and I got "dumped" and sworn at terribly and blamed for the dumping and was blocked. I then find out through a mutual friend that he had a new fb and was in a relationship with this other girl since June…and was seen by my friend with this girl at her work…

So I had been right to question the bitmoji and yet he still lied and said it was a friend. He used my money and generosity to pay for his holiday and tattoo. I feel so foolish and we all know how being cheated on makes us feel so I'm really trying to stick with recovery and not relapse again but I feel so unwanted and awful about myself. Someone I was in love with for 2 years…since I was 19 turning 20…doing this to me. Idk how to feel. A month without any contact from him I'm so anxious and feel so upset that life has turned out this way.

I hate that he has me blocked on everything…I can't stand not having the last word and hate being made to feel foolish. How do I get over this? I can't even think of moving on with another guy…relationship wise.

No. 69896

Wouldn't most guys get with a girl that age if it was consensual? I was definitely interested in him. I only say he "groomed" me because he got me to talk about fucked up stuff, but I was up for the normal sex chat. It was my impression that guys like girls as young as possible and just usually go with what's legal to stay out of trouble.

No. 69905

File: 1509812757660.jpg (33.59 KB, 600x613, 1508612463254.jpg)

I just turned 19 a few months ago and I am the only virgin in my friendship group. I've never kissed anyone, never had a boyfriend or girlfriend, never done anything sexual with someone. I don't really have the desire to at the moment, or am in the right mental state of mind to share my life with someone.

My friends mock me (all are guys except for one girl) for being a virgin and say I should get drunk and lose it at a party or club (which I hate going to) to get it over and done with. They say that though I'm 19, it's childish and weird for not wanting to fuck someone 24/7.

It makes me feel like utter shit when they talk about sex, then either make fun of me for being a virgin or offer to set me up with a friend for one night. Should I take a risk, or ignore them and keep doing what I'm doing?

No. 69906

19 is still fairly young, don't let them pressure you if you don't feel like having a bf or having sex. It's your virginity, your pussy and your business, so don't let them pressure you.

No. 69907

>They say that though I'm 19, it's childish and weird for not wanting to fuck someone 24/7.
thats definitely not weird

No. 69908

find new friends anon, don't waste your time with them, they are actually behaving like kids

No. 69909

Honey, don't let those idiots bully you. If you don't feel like doing it you shouldn't do it.

No. 69914

That's your decision, not theirs

No. 69954

File: 1510006457186.jpg (57.66 KB, 500x375, 1495912674739.jpg)

what do I do if my mother might be holding my birth certificate and SSC hostage?

granted the SSC might be lost but I find that hard to believe as after she gave it to me I used it once and put it back where I store it (with my birth certificate!). never touched it again. this was Aug 22.

I moved and like a dumbass forgot to take my birth certificate, and honestly it was because she came in my room and took it weeks before. never returned it now that I think about it. didn't even suggest that I take something I fucjing need to work with me. I moved because I need a job ffs. and I've got interviews coming up and it just doesn't feel as though she's moving in a timely manner. I was planning on getting a friend to steal it and mail it but my brother says it might be locked in a safe with his. I am across the fucking country lol how in the fuck…ok. I just need my birth certificate asap so I can request a new SSC.

oh and I believe it's being held hostage because my brother has been asking about his foronths so he can finally get his license (which she's been bitching about) and she's never given it to him. even when he and i were supposed to go together. she legit avoids the question when he asks. so, I think the suspicion is slightly warranted.

No. 69955

samfag :

for months*

this defeats the purpose of me moving and if she drags this out I won't have a job for a month. I figure that because I doubt she'll do certified mail so maybe a week or two of waiting for it, and then another two weeks waiting for my SSC. I simply do not have faith in her.

No. 69968

No. 70029

File: 1510214920442.jpg (293.97 KB, 1191x1600, 2.jpg)

>I can't stand not having the last word and hate being made foolish
This is the umbilical cord that will be holding you on to him and that you must cut before you can move on.

Understand that this part has nothing to do with him, it's just you. That fragile ego of yours probably played a significant part in you choosing/staying with a partner that was not good for you.

No. 70057

ok farmers i am going on a 'date' tomorrow and i need advice on how to not make this the most awkward moment of my life.

the issue comes down to the fact that both me and this guy are pretty introverted and kind of awkward so i can't rely on him to make good conversation. i met him last week at a party where we were both kind of drunk (aka sociable) so we hit it off really well and then a few days later he asked if we could meet up again for coffee. i agreed, but now i kind of regret it because i have no idea what to talk about (i feel like it's way easier having a conversation with a guy when you're both drunk compared to when you're sober). also i found out one of my friends actually went on a date with him like two weeks ago and dropped him because he was too awkward for her and she's way more extroverted than i am.

i'm really dreading tomorrow because it'd really kill my (already terrible) self esteem if our meet up is so awkward that we never talk again (and we have mutual friends so i'll definitely see him in the future ://) any advice on how to make this not horrifically awkward or am i just fucked?

if it helps, we're both in university and we bonded at that party by sharing greentext (lame i know). anyway i know he watches rick and morty/bojack horseman (which i don't watch) and basically that's all i know about him lol

No. 70062

Make the date interesting if you're not. Where is the date and what will you guys be doing?

No. 70063


we're going to one of the coffeeshops near campus, so it's a super casual kind of thing. i guess that sounds kind of lame, but honestly it makes me feel better because i go there at least once a week so i'll be more comfortable than if we went somewhere i've never been to before.

No. 70093

So um… I've been with my bf for almost two years, I have mental problems with sex and haven't been able to have sex due to having panic attacks befor even getting close to doing it, but that's not the issue I'm asking for advice for.
I have other concerns for when I do finally have sex with him. He's.. Pretty endowed, around almost 9" and upturned. It's extremely intimidating and I've tried researching ways to make it easier and all of it just seems er just a lot of work I guess? The type of things I'm into kind of go against some of the advice. I know of lube, certain positions, comfort ect. But I'm trying to think maybe being a little creative? Just want to know if this is retarded sounding, but I have read on very few tips to try to use a masturbation sleeve to not allow him to go too far in and punch my cervix. I am pretty sub and don't like to really having positions where I control everything.(I wouldn't not do it of course sometimes)

please excuse if the post is sloppy, I'm on mobile and am sleep deprived.

Tl;dr Help a virgin scared of the big benis

No. 70102

I live in a country where age of consent is 14. Guys and girls usually go for people their own age or someone 2-3 years apart. 20 year old guys usually stay away from 16/17 year old girls as they consider them kids. 14 year olds date other 14 year olds. It would be considered weird if a 16 year old guy got together with a 14 year old girl, let alone a guy who is 27 lmao.

My suggestion is to ask him to control how deep inside he goes.

No. 70108

my body is quite small (5'4, 100lbs) and i've had upturned, big dick partners before. in my experience good foreplay made all the difference because it makes your vagina more loose and wet. relax your muscles and take it slow and gentle, there's no need to go in like a jackhammer when you're just starting out. you can start with getting just the tip inside. communicate with your partner and let him know if he needs to pull out or take it easy. i hope this helps anon, stay safe and have fun.

No. 70124

Problem: procrastination when working from home

I've been freelancing lately, and quick-fixing this problem by taking my laptop to other places to work, but that is not always possible.

What do I do when it is not possible? I'm 37 y.o. and I hate feeling like I did when I was a uni student nearing an exam.

I prefer advice on overcoming the core procrastination issue, but I also welcome and will be thankful for ideas for new tricks and quick fixes.

No. 70125

>almost 9" and upturned

No. 70135

It's good for you to be on top for the first time. He's 10x stronger than you, so you'll still feel like he's got all the power, if that's a concern of yours.
I'd suggest foreplay until you can't take it anymore. The vaginal canal lengthens when you're aroused.

No. 70138

My bf is also nine inches and he's one of those ones who enjoys hurting girls sexually. Shit sucks.

No. 70140

Meh it's nice not to have to pretend size doesn't matter, but it's not the be all and end all. Nine inches isn't even that big anymore. I'd like to try an eleven inch guy tbh.

No. 70144

>tfw can't even imagine taking anything more than 5

No. 70147


you poor girl.


You poor girl omg

No. 70158

So I really need some dating advice. I'll be finishing college soon (80% male), and I haven't had my first relationship yet. I only have a single male friend (who is dating my bff), who has told me that he knows multiple guys who like me but afraid to approach me. Halp. Idk what to do. I highly doubt that looks are a factor because I get tons of complements from strangers/family friends. Idk how to be approachable.

No. 70163

You could strike up a conversation with someone you are interested in.

No. 70180

Girl, ngl but it's gonna hurt the first time for sure. No matter the lube or position, shit is bound to hurt. That shouldn't be a worry to you though, because the pain is absolutely gone in a few minutes. My first time was with a guy who was 8" and that's how it went. Also I'd say that the next 3-4 times won't feel very pleasant as well but after that you will definitely start enjoying it.
I recommend you do it doggy style for your first time. I just hug a pillow the whole time lol.

No. 70191

>it's gonna hurt the first time for sure.
No, it's not. Quit perpetuating the stupid myth. If you're clenched from fear of pain, of course it will hurt, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's the female version of performance anxiety in men.

No. 70213

Oh man thanks anons, it helps just having people to talk to about it. I have no female friends to talk to about this shit. I'll take into consideration the positions and tips. I'm just hoping I'm not like my mother, who often complains about being too small down there, just never stopped slightly hurting her despite sizes.
That sounds horrible! I hope he doesn't hurt you to bad. I'm sorry.

I lucked out with my boyfriend, he's also a virgin and I'm his first gf which is cute. I feel bad that we are both 24 and haven't done it though.

11"?! I couldn't imagine, like where would it even go?? Vaginas aren't that deep. It would be like a boxing match with your cervix.

Sorry I didn't individually reply to every since there was a lot, but I made sure I read everything. I really really appreciate it.

No. 70353

I'm gonna try to be brief…

Had a long time crush with a guy that I was friends with. A few years back we kinda had a thing going but stuff happened and didn't really worked out. He said many things about wanting to work on himself and that if he asked me to wait it would be very unfair. But for me he just sounded like he wasn't all that interested, and that was fine… I was trying to come to terms with that. We didn't talk much after that so I figure it was kinda pathetic of me to still have this crush after so long.

I decided that moving on was the best I could do. I got into a relationship with one of my best friends. We were super happy and everything was going great. Recently tho, my crush decided that it was a good idea to talk to me again after almost 2 years (he doesn't know Im dating anyone) and he really wanted to hang out. So I told my bf and went out with him with a friendly mentality.
I am so naive.. It really felt like a date. And i feel so bad about it.
Im super upset about everything, I really thought we would never talk again…but he decided to do so kinda late. How was I supposed to know this was gonna happen? He gave me no reasons to believe he still had a thing for me.
I was so head over heels that if he asked me to wait I would've done it. But now he is offering me something I always wanted and I cannot take it because I'm with someone.

I feel so sad, about many things. it is unfair to my bf that Im upset about my crush? I cannot help to feel so bad about the timing. If he asked me to hang out 2 months ago, it would've been perfect. Ugh I am a shitty gf, i really thought I was almost over it and that I was going to finally give myself a chance to be happy with someone that really loved me.

I really don't know what to do…
He wants to hang out again and there are many things I would like to tell him.
Any advice? I really feel like I'm a bad person for feeling the way I do.

No. 70355

File: 1510941643755.jpg (200.03 KB, 720x1022, 54766711_p4.jpg)

my friend hasn't texted me back in a month and a half or so, every since i wished her a happy birthday and told her we should meet up for lunch so i could give her her present. she texted back "thanks! i'm really busy with everything" and hasn't responded since then. i really don't want to text her first, because i hate the idea of being someone who bothers people when they don't want to talk to me. maybe it's because she got a bf, i know some girls just abandon all their girl friends once they get a bf for some reason. idk but i'm just looking at the huge-ass chocolate bar i got her and wondering if i should just eat it.

i'm super paranoid because i used to be the clingy friend when i was in high school and now i've spent so much time trying to make up for it that i worry that i come off as way too aloof and unfriendly to my friends. ugh, i just wish she would tell me what's going on, i know she's been having health problems and exams and her bf is taking up all of her time, but it wouldn't hurt just to drop me a text.

No. 70359

My friend introduced me to a guy 2 weeks ago and we've hung out almost every night since.
He's from another state and has been here for almost a year, my friends known him for a few months.

I like him a lot so far and we have so much in common and can talk for hours.
After accidental facebook snooping (looking for red pics of his rabbits to make plushies for his bday) I found out he got married like 5 years ago.

I don't know why but that makes me feel weird, and I'm now realizing I don't think I know him at all.
Is it bad to feel uncomfortable dating a guy who used to be married? I'm just scared cause I've only really had 2 high school boyfriends, and he's had a full on actual long committed relationship. I don't know how relationships work as an adult, I'm scared I can't live up to that. that's probably sad.

All he's really told me is he helped a girlfriend ( wife maybe?) move down here to help take care of her relative, and all their pets, but they broke up and he was just planning on staying til his work contract expired.
What kind of questions do you ask someone to get to know them better without being awkward?
I want to know more about him because I'm realizing I know nothing

I'm sorry for this wall of text, feel free to read ignore. I just didn't know where else to come for advice. Our next date is tonight and I just need ideas of what to ask to know him better without being intrusive about it.

Apparently he's adopted too, so I don't mess up sensitive subjects like that

No. 70361

You need to flee temptation. You cannot hang out with him again. If you do, you need to break up with your current bf.

The first time, you didn't know how your heart was going to react so that was ok. But now that you've acknowledged your feelings, hanging out with this other man is cheating.

No. 70366

Can't you just message her with a "Hey, you haven't responded in a while, is everything ok?" and maybe joke about eating her present?

No. 70378

not to sound edgy or anything but has anyone here ever attempted suicide?

i feel like i’m ready now, but i have a really intense fear of pain. is there a way to suppress that fear with medication? or would overdosing pain pills work? my only concern there is how ineffective it might be.

my original idea was to try overdosing with sleeping pills in the bathtub, but i read that sleeping pills aren’t strong enough to use for suicide anymore. I’m also considering cutting because i’ve practiced it and the pain is tolerable, but it’s at my limit and i don’t think i have the nerve to push deeper unless there’s a way to suppress that.

i would really like to do this as soon as possible, so i’d appreciate any input anyone might have. I’m going to walgreens or cvs to get something otc, id really appreciate any suggestions for sleeping pills too as i only have a vague idea of what to get

No. 70381

If you're even thinking about over the counter stuff, you're on your way to failing and ending up in the crazy house.

Reconsider suicide. Sounds like you're not ready.

No. 70383


oh hey anon i've attempted with both those methods you mention and all i can say is DON'T DO IT!!

if you try, it will be painful as fuck and you will survive plus be burdened by medical bills. It's actually kind of hard to kill yourself, the human body is very resilient.

One helpful thing that came out of my attempts though is the knowledge that in 72 hours, your emotional state will be different than it is right now.
Please don't go through with this anon. Please wait three days and reassess how you feel. Your life has value and by ending it prematurely you're robbing yourself of the so many unknown pleasures. I know that it's hard to imagine a better life in your current state, but please be kind to yourself. you can recover from this despair and become a stronger person for it.

Here's a chat line that I've used myself before and I really recommend it: http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx

You can also talk to me if you want, whatever channel of communication youre most comfortable with I will make an account for you to reach me on.

But I beg you to please reconsider. Your life has value. Suicide is a permanent solution to often temporary problems.

No. 70385

There's a guy I kind of like that I want to spend more time hanging out with/casually dating. We went out for coffee and talked about professional advice, and I think he was having trouble looking at me in the eyes?

But I'm not super crazy about him in particular so I think it would look bad at me if I'm too aggressive. How do I approach this situation gracefully?

No. 70388

it wouldn’t work even if i was in a full bathtub? pills don’t work yeah, but can’t they leave you unconscious for a while? i’m sure you could drown if you od’d?

No. 70390

OD on heroin, anon. Go out the Lil Peep way.

No. 70392


no, it wouldn't work.

No. 70393

I heard drowning is super painful. There's a chance the pain and panic will wake you up. Well, the worst thing about it all is, you'll always fight to survive. No matter how much you want to die, your brain will always resist. Remember this.
I thought about numbing myself with alcohol and then opening the wrists. But I was too big of a wimp to ever go through with this, and surprise surprise, things got better.
I won't tell u bs like don't do it talk to me uwu. It's just not worth it, too big of a chance you'll chicken out and call for help, someone'll interrupt or it will simply not be effective enough. You may end up on a chair or as a veggie - srsly, reconsider. If you can't go through with drastic but efficient suicide and you look for the painless ones, that means you still should give yourself time, you're not completely on board with death. Those who are don't care about pain

No. 70406

from your post i think you should have killed yourself, you still can, anon.

No. 70413

Maybe someday, thanks

No. 70416

Pills are not the way, ever. One of the times I tried, I took a ton of benzos and somehow still walked to the hospital. I don't know how I managed to do it, but I even brought stuff with me. Worse, benzodiazepines in particular make you lose your memories. A lot of random pills will just make you ill. If you're sucidal, you will find a way and the way might not be as soon as you want. Life is hard. But pills aren't the answer and sucicide isn't easy anon.

No. 70419

I've given my boyfriend's parent the absolute worst impression of me. The first thing they knew about me was that I gave their son a hickey on his neck (then eventually, all over his chest rip), now I've really fucked up. He hosted a party at his house and one thing lead to another and we ended up in his bed both naked. Nothing happened though, he fell asleep and was impossible to wake up. I decided that sleeping next to my naked boyfriend was too risky in the even that his one of his parents walk in, so I went upstairs to sleep on the couch where my friends were (bf forgot to tell anyone that he'd made up beds in a spare room before passing out), but there was no room on the couch, and I was too tired and cold to walk around his house looking for the spare bedroom - it was already taken anyway - so I gave in and thought fuck it, I'll just cover him up and sleep next to him fully clothed instead. It was fine untill later in the morning when his sister came in to tell us to come downstairs and tend to our friends. He had to explain everything to his parents who I don't expect would believe it at all, and to make things worse, I'd only thanked his father for having me over, and his mother is very disappointed in me for this. I've always prided myself in my manners, so this definitely hit me right where it hurts. I don't know if anyone can give me advice for this, I just needed to get this off my chest.

No. 70421

what? are you 16? why would anyone care that you slept next to your boyfriend. even if you fucked, so what, who gives a shit. and thanking his father is enough, if his mother is "very disappointed" in you for not thanking her, she needs to get her head out of her ass lmao.

No. 70422

Why do you want to kill yourself?

No. 70423

Ugh I feel like 16, close though, 18. He comes from a very well-off family so it's kind of a big deal

No. 70425

anon i relate, my bfs mom is crazy and will be angry at me whether i do something or i dont. she literally got upset that i said thanks for the birthday card she gave me, but hugged my bfs sister when she brought me flowers to cheer me up a few days after my bday when i was really depressed. people like that you can't please. so don't worry about it, if hes the one he wont let his moms impression of you ruin your relationship, and you shouldn't either. as long as he knows how great of a person you are is all that matters. in my experience with myself, my sisters and my friends - the ones that are worth it often have the worst parents lmao

No. 70467

Has anyone else had the issue of nail biting ?
I've been trying to stop this habit and I will stop biting them for a few weeks but then something stressfull will trigger the biting again.
I can go against the urge of biting my nails when I'm bored but stressfull situations are very difficult because I won't even notice it.
I hate my nails so much and people telling me"well just stop biting" are the worst.
I thought about getting acrylics to stop me from biting them but I'm too ashamed to get them done.
Has anyone else struggled with this ?
Any useful tips are appreciated.
And yes I've tried the bitter nail polish thing is it's not disgusting enough lol.

No. 70469

Has anyone had a friend, or exfriend, posted here? There is a thread on someone I know. It seems like theres other people in the thread that want to talk about them, but chicken out and never come back. I just don't really know how to react, mostly because I am angry with this person and I am trying to not do anything I'd regret. I'm just inclined to spill milk as this person treated my close friend horribly.

Don't be embarrassed about getting acrylics. Acrylics, besides being a fashion thing, are there for those who can't have long, strong nails because of genetics or any other reasons. They see a lot of people like you come in and it could help! My best friend had the same problem as you, so bad her fingers looked like mushrooms because half her fingernails were bitten off. She just trained herself to stop biting as soon as she noticed, but acrylics helped a bit and gave her confidence. Be careful though, because acrylics in particular weaken your nails even more. Good luck, anon! I hope you find something that helps you.

No. 70480

Don't. Fighting fire with fire is just petty. Let it go and be the better person.

No. 70493

My mom keeps asking me for money and I don’t know what to do anymore.

There’s a lot to explain so bear with my. My parents have been having relationship problems for the last 5 years and last year around this time they decided to file for divorce. The divorce hasn’t been finalized yet but it will be really soon. For the last year and currently now my parents are “separated” but they still live in the same house and my dad still takes care of my mom financially for the most part. They were married for 35 years and my mom didn’t work at all during that time, and she doesn’t work now.
Money has been one of the bigger issues for my parents these last 5 years due to my mom taking big amounts of money out of the bank and having nothing to show for it and also being sneaky about it. Regardless, for the last year and a half my dad has been giving my mom $500 to spend on whatever she wants to. This isn’t court ordered or part of the divorce (although he will have to pay alimony once it’s finalized), my dad is only doing this to be civil because my mom wanted money during this time.
My dad still pays all the bills in the house and pays for all the food. My mom only needs to be spending money on her medical expenses ($10 a doctor visit, $5 for a prescription) and her credit card bill, but she ends up having no money by the middle of the month. She then begs me for money in small increments, usually $10 “for cigarettes” every 1-2 days, but I’ve ended up giving her $100+ every month this year.
I always start off telling her no every day but she keeps begging and guilting me and I eventually give in. I feel bad about myself when I do this because I know I’m not really helping her and I think she has bigger problems with what she’s spending money on. I also always feel taken advantage of and powerless, and the rest of my family gets upset with me when I give her money since they don’t trust her with it. But when I don’t give her money I always feel bad too, she’s my mom and I want her to be happy. Every day I tell her “I don’t want to do this, this is the last time I’m giving you money” and she says okay. But we both know I’ll end up giving her money the next time she asks.
I’ve been avoiding telling her how I feel because I don’t talk to her much at all these last few years and I don’t have a lot of trust towards her. But today I finally broke down and decided to tell her how I bad felt when she asked me for money. I even started crying but she didn’t seem to listen to me at all. It truly seemed like all she cared about was getting money from me.

I’m not sure what to do. I know I should be a tougher/stronger person and learn to really say no but at this point I’m not even sure if I can do that with my mom. Should I just wait until the divorce is finalized and she has to leave the house?

No. 70495

i know a cow here because of their relation to a best friend of mine, and the ways they've hurt them in the past. unfortunately, I wont ever say anything. the risk it too great of bringing my friend into the drama after she's spent so long trying to distance herself, and obviously you can't just come here making claims with no proof. I just never really look at the thread, it's depressing and angering knowing the things they've done - however they've already been paying for the things they've done. The best thing to do is just support your friend, and if they don't already know about this site too, then don't bother to tell them. my friend knows of her cow on here, and i think it's made things harder for her to let go.

No. 70531

Your mom is a selfish parasite. Put your foot down and say no. Don't let her bleed you dry because she will. If she didn't have you or your dad to leech off of, she'd be a welfare queen and soon will be one when the alimony runs out. She will probably come knocking on your dad's door too. Tell your dad to get as far away as possible from her. She isn't a good person regardless if she's your mom. Boundaries are important and clearly she doesn't care about those at all. People like that care about one thing and one thing only, above all else: their own comfort, happiness, sanity and mental health. Cut her off and don't look back.

No. 70533

thank you so much for this. I felt really alone because this isn't that common so I'm not used to having to be so formal around my s/o's parents.

No. 70551

I could use some advice. I have a job interview tomorrow and I am really nervous about it. I have anxiety so I get quite shaky and breathless, and I tend to overthink and ruminate over things, which I'm doing right now. Like ugh what if I'm awkward and say the wrong thing or if I get the job and I'm terrible at it?

I could go back to my old job, where I know they'd have me, but that would be the easy option. I know I need to push myself out of my comfort zone but I really don't want to.

No. 70556

Just learnt my friend is a pedophile and rapist.

I met him at a friend's house, we talked a lot and clicked because we have similar problems and background, except some of them are much worse. I was happy to know someone who could relate to me regarding mental issues, but it quickly went darker.
He told me he was raped by his father during his childhood (who is now in jail) which made me feel for him but made me wonder if he could become like him (which sadly happens in those situation).

We were chilling at his place, watching anime, when all of a sudden he stopped the video and turned around, saying "You're going to be my psychologist".

To "protect" (in his words) his three younger sisters from being raped as well by their dad, he had sex with them while his dad watched. When his dad went to jail, that didn't stop and both parties were soliciting it. One time, he anally raped his youngest sister. He told me he wasn't even thinking, he just wanted his needs met. She was crying in pain, telling him to stop, but he didn't. He finished, and ordered her to stop crying before their mother came back at the house, and to wipe herself. When he realized later what he did, he cried.
He also had sex with other underage girls not in his family.
He told me he still was attracted to much younger girls, and is currently fucking a 13 years old girl.

As you can imagine I'm still shocked, but the thing is I don't know what I can do. I want to help him not being what his father was but I think it is too late. Help me please.

No. 70557

Call the cops is what you do

No. 70560

Tell him to fuck off and kill himself.

No. 70562

He knows where I live and I'm the only one to know. He has identity disorder, I'm actually afraid to get killed.

No. 70563

I saw myself in a mirror in the changing rooms in a clothes store and feel like walking cottage cheese and I hate myself

I've lost a stone but I can't get the rest ofd even with a physically demanding job what do I do to lose the rest I can't even afford gym

No. 70566


I'm trying to distance myself from him subtly so he doesn't freak out and come get me. I know he could be capable.
The friend we have in common actually told my boyfriend he felt something was off with him, so I called him and told him we should talk and that his suspicions are true, but he doesn't know in what way for the moment. He wanted to bait him into talking about it, but I'm not sure this is the right thing and that it's safe so we'll see.
I don't see him lying about that, maybe embellishing it. He wasn't looking at me saying that, and said it in a cold way, detached from it.

Thank you so much for the support, I don't think he could see this as he doesn't speak English that well.

No. 70568

Are there any anons here from a country where land is cheapish? Preferably in europe? Because I'm from europe and I would like to start my own beekeeping house. Before you think it's a whim, I've actually gone through professional and certified training some years ago, I got a national level certificate, and I also did summer jobs at small and big beekeeping houses etc. I know what I need from materials & equipment, what to take into account as well that laws and requirements differ from country to country.

I'd just like to start somewhere anew. My country sucks for various reasons, but I won't pain you with them. Also, I wouldn't rely just on beekeeping, at least until it kicks off. So if you know a region where land is plenty and you think it would be probable for me to settle there, please tell.

No. 70569

I work in the billing dept in healthcare and am taking my coding cert soon, and my job has just turned me off from this career altogether. I’m in my mid twenties and am having a quarter life crisis because I want to change career paths. What I’ve always wanted more than anything was to go to a Japanese language school to become a translator, idk why I never went for it when I was younger, I was just plagued with self doubt and decided I couldn’t do it. I feel like I’m too old to start working on that dream though, my Japanese is still at a kindergarten level. I try to study in my free time but between working and studying for my exam, it just gets put on the back burner. I don’t even know how I would be able to afford going to language school, I don’t think there’s any type of financial aid for language schools

No. 70570

Depends where you are from and thus what you consider cheap. Obvious answers are Bosnia, Serbia, Croatia and Slovenia, but I think you should export it then

No. 70576


> Obvious answers are Bosnia, Serbia, Croatia and Slovenia

heh, I am from Croatia. Though thanks for responding. I wouldn't go to Bosnia because it's a ticking bomb. Serbia I wouldn't mind if it weren't for the fact that I'm a croat + proximity to Bosnia makes it a no.

Slovenia, on the other hand, is great but I'm not sure if there's plenty of lands available and if the prices are ok? Gonna check anyway.

By cheapish, I mean at least 10he of land for 100.000 euro. The land that is available here at a reasonable price is usually of low quality in terms of agriculture.

I'm considering Poland, Slovakia even Belarus. It would be a dream to start in Georgia(the country, not the state) but I only have information on it from the internet. It would be nice to get info from a native.

No. 70579

I reconnected with an old friend about a year ago now and I'm realizing that I don't really want to be friends anymore. I feel like I'm not getting anything out of the friendship. I know some people say that friendship isn't supposed to fulfill you or "give" you anything, but I think it should.

do I just put more into the friendship or follow my gut and let it die again?

No. 70582

Fwiw nobody in Serbia gives a shit about Croats. I don't know how it is where you live and I've heard mixed stories of people getting their tyres slashed for having Serbian licence plates, but for all people know you could be one of the numerous refugees from Kordun or Herzegovina and nobody would be able to tell the difference. Also, Vojvodina is a nice place to live for Catholics due to the sizeable Hungarian minority. Belgrade is lots of fun but I wouldn't live there, too densely populated and some areas are full of football hooligans/gypsies/lowlives in general.

Nobody here cares about Bosnia or much of anything anymore, we're frankly too busy dealing with EU bullshit and Syrians right now and it really wouldn't affect anyone (at least not here in the north).

No. 70583

Oh and as for beekeeping, my granddad used to do it and it's fairly profitable since you can sell a lot at country fairs and to local businesses. There's also OrganicNet for selling produce online.

No. 70607

I'm not sure if I'm on the right thread for this, but I don't have time to go digging right this second, so I figured it's worth a shot.

I've recently started to accept that I have a bit of a problematic relationship with food. It probably started as an infant when I became a picky eater due to my mum only being able to afford cheap tinned food at the time. Food I was unfamiliar with made me routinely very anxious and I would often end up crying over being forced to try something new. I grew out of that for the most part but eating at other people's houses has always made me anxious (what if I don't like the food they serve and I insult them? etc.) I thought I was fine for a while, or at least I ate like any other regular kid, until I was around 14 maybe and I just completely lost my appetite, started eating one meal a day, became preoccupied with my appearance and weight. Probably just normal for a teenager going through an insecure phase. This continued on and off for a few years, I gained a few extra pounds at 16 and ended up dropping them when I was 17/18 by surviving on soup and bananas. I was constantly tired and hungry but didn't really care. I haven't ever really shaken off the fear of not being thin enough. I'd say my natural weight is healthy (I'm 5'4 and usually weigh around 121 pounds) but I'm obsessed with it, and with my body shape, and with comparing myself to others. The feeling of having a full stomach makes me feel sick with guilt. I'm 21 now and although I've often attempted to vomit my food up, only recently have I managed to push through and force myself to vomit. I've only vomited 4 times over the course of this last month, and I don't exactly binge eat at all, so I don't qualify as bulimic and I'm scared any kind of doctor would not take me seriously if I am not fitting the criteria.

Does anybody have any advice on not feeling guilty after eating like, half a takeaway pizza? On not hating myself for feeling full, and not letting my fluctuating weight make me feel worthless?

tl;dr do not have fully-fledged eating disorder but am struggling to keep my food down/not worry about my weight 24/7 and need advice on stopping

No. 70623

My fiance(23) is being forced to give half of his liver to his abusive father who severely beat and emotionally abused him and his mother for years. He even stomped a fucking dog to death in front of my bf when he was a kid and knocked the both of them out several times, that's the magnitude of how crazy and shitty he is. My fiance's father has a variety of health problems, issues with his kidney, liver, diabetes, I don't know the full list. Instead of cleaning his diet his mom enables his dad's sweet tooth and feeds him other unhealthy things. My bf is a healthy and active man who just got his life on track and just recently landed a jump in a big finance firm, I don't want him to give up his livelyhood and future for his scumbag dad. He has his whole life to live, I worry about him not being able to keep up with our kids, his job or even be there for me. I don't want him to become weak like me as I had one of my organs removed 3 years ago and I'm still getting the hang of things. He doesn't want to do it but if he doesn't donate his mom (who he loves very much) will resent him for the rest of his life and he'll end up hating himself, while I think it's a fucking waste as he'll still be enabled by the mom to eat like shit and will definitely have organ failure once again.

No. 70626


Is there any way you guys can take him to court on the grounds of the severe physical and emotional abuse?

No. 70628

My fiance was never able to call the cops because his mom never allowed it, which is how domestic violence victims usually act. Though he doesn't abuse them anymore because of his declining health and changed views (I think) it doesn't change the fact that he was a shitty piece of trash.

No. 70630

Your fiance sounds like a wimp lmao

No. 70674

Thanks. I didn't mean to offend, if I did, I'm sorry.

> Also, Vojvodina is a nice place to live for Catholics due to the sizeable Hungarian minority.

Interesting, I've heard a lot of positive things about it, also that it has lots of cozy towns and nice landscape.

> Nobody here cares about Bosnia or much of anything anymore, we're frankly too busy dealing with EU bullshit and Syrians right now

Are you still being overwhelmed by the refugees? We don't get any news reports on it here so I thought it stopped or at least the influx became insignificant in the recent years?

> Oh and as for beekeeping, my granddad used to do it and it's fairly profitable since you can sell a lot at country fairs and to local businesses. There's also OrganicNet for selling produce online.

Thanks for the tip and that's great to hear about your grandad! I already do some organic beekeeping, though it's really on a small negligible level. Also, I managed to double what I invested within a year and that's without trying much so there's definitely a lot of potential in it. Did you also consider starting a beekeeping business?

I've thought of relocating to Serbia mainly because I've heard from others about lots of fertile lands available. I'm not going to bother you with more questions since I could do my research online, my biggest issue is the bureaucracy, the monthly/yearly costs related to paperwork etc. I have experience with it here so one of the impetus for leaving is the ridiculous amount of taxes for things that have little to do with business, paperwork, waiting for hours in line and officials that are clueless about law and regulations while their job is to know those things. Sorry for the vent. I'm also not happy with our current government and idiots that vote for them so I want to go to a place that isn't so focused on past events. It's the main reasons why plenty of my friends left or are in the process of leaving.

No. 70697

So, my older sister left a long-term abusive relationship over a year ago in which she had two kids from. She's been living at home ever since (as do I), and I recommended checking out OkCupid as I met my current boyfriend of two years off there. She's been using the site since August or so, went on a few dates, and a little over a month ago seems to have met a guy she really likes. Problem is, when I met the guy I got some bad vibes from him. He was speaking to her child WAY too sternly, like he's their actual father. It's kind of hard to explain, but it put me off a lot. He was raising his voice in an annoyed tone essentially. Keep in mind, they'd only gone on their first date maybe 2-3 weeks prior. Speaking of their first date, he met my parents and grandmother on the FIRST date. She invited him, which is another level of weird, but I still can't imagine any normal person wanting to meet family that quickly. Anyway, just today I found out from my mother that he's "hinted at a ring" and that it's secret. She seems fine with it as my whole family seems charmed by him, but seriously, what the FUCK? They've only known of eachother's existence for MAYBE two months and he already wants to propose?
Anyway, I'm really worried about her kids. Judging by how fast he's trying to progress things it wouldn't be surprising if he turns out to also be abusive. Should I try talking to my other family members to find out what they think? I don't want to confront her directly because she'd probably start a fight in result. I'm just really worried and stressed.

No. 70709

File: 1511571520245.jpg (89.69 KB, 540x521, tumblr_oy8zzy2I401v8mzhco1_540…)


update: lol i told my therapist about this and he aint care about none of this lol. dont know why i bothered. "just write about it and talk about it and everything will be fine anon :)". man, i feel so stupid. therapy never does anything for me. i think i need meds or something. dont think he'll give me any. i live in a third world country don't even know why i thought the therapy here could be any good lol.

should i change doctors or just quit therapy all together and try something else…? he says i'm not trying hard enough to change but i am. thing is, he's too busy asking me about my (current) sex life for me to enjoy his sessions.

he was a teenager and i was like 6. but we were both underage and he knew i'll do whatever he wanted so :(


not in my country. why?

No. 70710

change therapists if you can.
meds and therapy can both work, but imo therapy can be really important for growth where as meds just help with the pain of it all. many people end up just getting off their meds and finding themselves in the same old position, whereas with good therapy you may find yourself free of past hurts etc.
However, like medication therapists vary per person. Personally i've had two therapists in my life, 1 would say "this is why you feel this way." where the other would say "why do you think you feel this way?" The second is what i found helped me more, forcing me to think for myself, come to my own conclusions and discuss it with her. however the first therapist was highly recommended despite her method not working for me personally.

before you give up, try with someone new. you're not a hopeless case anon, good luck

No. 70721

he is either a cuck or a pedo to raise another mans children

No. 70722

why not take a few jap classes at community college at night?

No. 70723

I agree with you that his behavior is abnormal. Single men who have never had kids usually don't want to date a woman with them. My only thought for why he would want to meet the family so fast and get married within weeks of meeting is to gain power over your unstable sis and use it as an opportunity to abuse the kids in secrecy, while everyone else thinks he's such a nice guy. This may be a pretty big leap to make from a few sentences but there's so many step parent abuse stories, and abuse often happens within the family. I know of a few stories where an irresponsible mother brought a guy into her and her kids lives and they were sexually abused as a result while nobody suspected it.

I'm not really sure how you could go about mentioning this to your family though, besides "hey, isn't it strange that this guy behaves this way and it might mean hes abusive, and it's bad to introduce a complete stranger into the kids lives?" The focus just needs to be about the children rather than assumptions about his personality, and I think I'd voice my concern with other close family first and then confront her together calmly, ask her to consider the possibilities.

Hopefully you and your family figure it out, your post creeped me out a bit honestly, your sister needs to be more careful bringing about strange men so quickly into her life and ESPECIALLY avoiding letting them know she has kids right away. It's much better to be let down by a guy who doesn't want the extra baggage of children after talking for a while, than to potentially introduce someone seeking out a woman with kids or whatever else into your family. Good luck anon. Trust your gut.

No. 70732

I forgot to mention that he has an ex wife (?) and three kids, but they live a few states away. I'm not sure if he's part of their lives or not, why they split up, which doesn't help any of my suspicions either.
But yes, I agree. Early on she was saying how she wouldn't have him meet the kids soon, but that quickly changed to just introducing him as a friend, then into being close/cuddly I'm front of them all in this short time span. I'd like to think they're just being stupid due to infatuation/the honeymoon phase. I think getting so serious that quickly is stupid in general but when kids are involved it's much worse.
Thanks for the advice though, I'm relieved that someone else thinks it's strange too. I may have overheard my father talking about him in a not-so-positive way, so I'll maybe talk to him first.

No. 70733

Samefag, I'm so sorry.

I think she also introduced him so quickly to my family (first date, first time meeting) because my parents are alcoholics and the house is dirty with many things that need fixing. My sister isn't a great person ngl, and probably did this to make him feel sorry for her and want to "save her". She's into stereotypically masculine men and I assume wants to be a housewife, at least for awhile. There's nothing inherintally wrong with that and I could be wrong for saying this, but it seems like a lot of abusive men desire that type of relationship. However, I believe the job he has would require him to have a clean record. So, maybe they truly are just being stupid and infatuated and rushing into things. It's still selfish to be doing that with so many kids involved, and I will talk to my family.

No. 70837

Are intrusive thoughts and call of the void normal?

I have a cuddly toy I love very much

While I'd never ever do this, one of my anxious thoughts is me ever ripping it's head off or harming it

I'd never want to do this and it's mostly because I love my cuddles sk much it makes me aware people actually have ripped soft toys heads off and stuff but it disturbs me and makes me anxious

Is this normal? How can I stop it? I don't know how else to explain it but it's a thought of something I'd never want to do and it upsets me greatly

No. 70840

Kek I get those thoughts to open my car door while driving. I often lock the door compulsively to prevent me from acting on them lmao
Are we both just fucked? Probably

No. 70854

So uh, what's the best way to get out of a slowly escalating abusive relationship?

Asking for a friend.

No. 70862

No. 70863


You have a full-fledged eating disorder.

No. 70875

Have you ever considered that maybe you're all just sexist?

If you see any man with sub-8/10 looks, you automatically assume he's a rapist, pedophile, murderer, abuser, creep, etc.

Men have to deal with this discrimination and sexism everyday.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 70876

Anyone have experience with mother in laws that hates you?

No. 70877

kill yourself

No. 70894

Oh God anyone else ever have a friend where you meet up and instantly regret it because they really grate on you?

I know someone like this and she's a bit special snowflake and just goes on nonstop and SHOUTS everything and is very argumentative and we are in our twenties and I feel bad but I can really only handle small doses

Am I the only one who gets this and wishes I'd stayed home

No. 70901

This is basically me with every friend that I haven’t known my whole life. It’s more just that they Are so high energy I feel drained the moment I meet up with them lol

No. 71009

How do I get my gf, who’s already really sensitive about people criticizing chihuahuas behavior in any form, to train her dog without offending her? she’s particularly defensive about people that criticize their yapping.

It’s just… incredibly loud. It’s embarrassing going with her to a pet store because aggressive dogs aren’t allowed, but she just laughs it off when he’s barking at every single person and growls at every dog he sees.

I think our rats are accustomed to it, but we just adopted a guinea pig yesterday and I want her to get comfortable, her cage is covered just so she won’t freak out when she sees us move so she can explore and get accustomed to it in peace, but his barking is soo fucking loud. He’ll bark every time someone comes home, random sounds outside, hearing someone outside of our bedroom door, and it goes on forever.

I know it stresses her out. Jeez, it stresses ME out.

That, and he only gets bathed on rare occasion and rolls around in dead stuff and smelly shit for fun and I hate it when he gets on the bed.

I’ve tried to explain that I didn’t like him on the bed a while ago, but she’ll let him do it occasionally, so he still thinks it’s okay and i’ll have to be an asshole and push him off now and then.

I mean, his behavior has just been really getting to me lately. He’s constantly whining, barking, peeing on stuff, it’s just really frustrating. I… just don’t like the dog and i know it’s not fair because she’s had it for like 8 or 9 years since a puppy and I’ve only been around for a couple years, but jeez, I feel like it’d be so much better if she trained him.

How can I bring this up without sounding like a dog-hating disney villain?

No. 71033

Jesus that sounds hellish. Little dogs often get away with a lot of shit because people find it cute when they bark and growl and jump up as opposed to finding it scary when it's a larger dog. I'd say bring up that it stresses you and the guinea pig out, and also that dogs benefit mentally from training. I work with dogs and training isn't a bad experience for them - it's all about positive reinforcement and dogs love having clear rules to follow. Dogs are much happier when they know where they stand in a household and what they're meant to be doing. If you talk to her about how the dog will likely be happier and more mentally stimulated when trained and how the dog's behavior really bothers you, hopefully she'll listen. If not, she sounds pretty childish since it's definitely not an evil thing to want to train a dog.

No. 71037

I seriously need help. Despite living in a beautiful big city, having lots of friends, partying every weekend, having a hot boyfriend, being conventionally attractive, popular, and passing as normal in society, I can't help but be absolutely jealous of a local cow in my community. She's fairly known on this website although not talked about so much anymore and is 100% a cringy weeab. I've shared my jealousy with two people and they were shocked, saying things like, "How could you ever possibly be jealous of her," and being weirded out by her unhealthy obsession with anime culture. I'm on an awesome career path and about to graduate college as a shoo-in to teach English in France yet I can't. Stop. Facebook stalking this weeab. She's hardly attractive outside of the anime community and is completely out of touch with reality. Not only that, she consistently posts cringy, self absorbed shit on social media daily. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like I'm using her as an excuse to shit on myself or feel better about myself. I find myself checking her social media almost every day and constantly comparing myself to her. Any time I find a flaw about her, I feel better about myself and anytime she rarely does something impressive, I feel shitty. It's like I envy how open she is about being a self important weeab and soaking in nerd attention yet I could never lower myself to do something like that. I don't know what's wrong with me :( I feel so ashamed of myself especially because I don't feel this way about any other girls in my life and they're 100% way more attractive and talented than this cow. What do I do? I've been going to therapy for complex ptsd for almost two years now and I've never brought this subject up because I'd seriously rather talk about being sexually abused as a child than my jealousy over a girl. I just feel like my mental priorities are so fucked.

No. 71044

It's the attention.
You're jealous of the attention.
Cause if she were a regular thirsty weeb who overshared her crap and wasn't popular, you wouldn't care.
Do you not get enough attention irl? Sounds like you have a good life, when will it be enough?

No. 71053

>It's like I'm using her as an excuse to shit on myself or feel better about myself
You are and you know it just creates a loop of insecurity and makes you look unhinged. Spending less time on lolcow/4chan and social media and hiding/removing her from Facebook is a good idea. Treat it like a real addiction.

Also you included specific details in your post that will identify you to any anons that know you, so you might as well just accept that you're a bit of a judgemental bitch and admit it openly to any other friends that you're struggling to overcome this. However shitting on the other person isn't helpful, you need to take a look at yourself and the reasons for your insecurities

No. 71067

Paranoid this is somehow about me lmao. Please tell me you're not from the UK anon, and set my mind at rest

No. 71070

Are you in actual fact, half the weaboo population in the UK?
If so, stop that

No. 71071


Did you reply to >>71067 in error?

No. 71072

I want to learn to make my own clothes but I really don't know where to start. It seems ridiculously complicated. Any sewing anons here that can help?

No. 71076

Not in error, just in jest

No. 71080


>>71067 was a reply to >>70894 which was about

>Oh God anyone else ever have a friend where you meet up and instantly regret it because they really grate on you?

No. 71098

Sorry this is long.

My sister was a horrible person my entire life, literally from the time I was born up until now so over 20 years. She was the biggest bully in my life, constantly told me I'd wind up alone because nobody could ever love me, stole everything I owned as a kid and either gave it away or lost it/broke it and threatened me into being silent about it, got neighborhood kids to harass and mock me every time I went outside and even molested me for a few years. My mom didn't know about it, I never told her, and she was a single mom working all the time to provide for us.

She left when I was in my early teens and still continued to extort me for what little pocket change I had by either blackmail or guilt trips. We're both adults now and I cut her out of my life until recently because I decided to be the bigger person and let it all go.

She still is the same fucking person and blames me for not trying hard enough to be a good sister to her and her family.

I wrote her this two page letter on why I hate her and everything she did to make my life hell as a kid, and threw in a bit about my accomplishments (world traveling, 4.0 college GPA, amazing soon to be husband) because she has a shitty home life and lives in a trailer park and I wanted her to see how well off I was, that someone did love me and that I wasn't a fat/ugly/useless/stupid piece of shit like she constantly told me I would be.

I wrote it a few weeks ago but didn't send it and now she's apparently happy for me and my new job as I found out from extended family. I guess it just feels petty to send it now but… idk.I want to tell her how I feel but I know she's just gonna turn it around on me and use it as "proof" I was a bad sister and she was just trying to be nice to me etc etc.

Half of me is always so angry that I have to be the bigger person and turn the other cheek and bite my tongue and move on and let her do this to me. I want to be so angry and show off to her and make her miserable like she did to me, but I know how it looks when I say that.

What do you anons think, should I just leave the letter to sit in my desk and never send it, or send it and deal with whatever happens after?

No. 71103

Send it and never ever speak to/see her again, unless you absolutely unavoidably need to. Aside from everything else, she molested you. Fuck that shitty bitch. Make her feel an inch tall, then ban her from your life. Well done on having a great life despite her!

No. 71109

I self-learned how to sew and absolutely average at it, so take my advice with a grain of salt, but I'd suggest you start with something simple like circle skirts and bodices, then gradually moving onto a-line skirts, t-shirts, simple jackets, loose pants etc. as you get more comfortable with sewing. Use paper patterns or trace your own clothes as templates. You'd make mistakes along the way and that's ok, like any other skills you need to practice a lot, so get a lot of cheaper fabric to practice with. Don't be afraid to try new techniques. Happy sewing!

No. 71111


Thank you anon. I just hit send on the letter and kicked her out of my life for the foreseeable future. I was worried about her crying to my grandmother and it becoming a ball of tears that I have to deal with but I feel confident about it now.

No. 71137

I’ve recently cut all contact with my mom and sister so I know your worry. Stay confident in what you’ve done - it’s your life and your choice, no one else’s opinion on it counts unless you want it to! Sending strength anon.

No. 71142

Thank you anon! I only really want to be able to make dresses and jumpers. I can never find ones that fit my shape properly in stores.

No. 71149

I just recently cut contact with my mom after sending her one of these closure type messages. It was the best thing I've ever done. I feel like a weight has been lifted or something. It's a bit sad, but if it's justified, in the end, you need to look out for you, especially when people you care about clearly weren't.

No. 71197

I know that, I was joking that >>71067 must collectively be half of the weeb uk population since they are synonymous with all of the behavior >>70894 was complaining about
Obviously not a funny or even understandable joke if I need to explain it

No. 71253

I'm in a dilemma.

my current phone is going to shit. i probably won't be able to use it in a week or two, tops. I'm trying to buy a secondhand phone but I don't have enough money (the seller lowered the price to $350, I have $248).

I just started a savings and have been debating whether or not to use some now. time is of the essence; I can't wait until next Wednesday for my paycheck because there's no guarantee they'll still have the phone (first come first serve on apps LetGo and OfferUp). my savings isn't for anything in particular, just money in case I need it. should I use it?

No. 71254

wtf phone do you need??? motorola has some sweet phones for $200

No. 71256

i know it's nuts but it's an iPhone 7+. I've chosen to go to them because they're more reliable I guess you could say. it feels like an investment. after this phone, I'm not buying another for 2-3 years, 5 max. the phone that's not working well I actually bought this past summer for $200 (LG stylo 3 plus) and it already needs to be replaced.

there were some that were lower than that but I felt that the seller's were scamming. they wouldn't answer questions regarding the phone info at all. this person sent my a snap of the information in the phone settings too, so I'm way more inclined to buy from them for that.

I accidentally reported this post trying to delete it, oh my god.

No. 71260


There are a lot of scams with secondhand phones, especially if you are meeting in person. So be careful.
Is there no way to buy a new one from a phone shop, or Amazon?
Anyway, good luck…

No. 71262

Enjoy your shitty battery life.
Lots of cheap android phones out there, Huawei have come out with a few nice ones recently, and I have a Sony Xperia that's tiny and the battery lasts for days. No reason to get an iPhone nowadays.

No. 71263

you don't have to tell me twice. I request the IMEI upfront. only 2 have agreed to do so out of about 10-15. it's very telling about these these people and I drop them from consideration. one even asked for my number to talk about the phone when there's a chat feature. I am a very impatient person, and I can't save money. I end up wasting it on food and makeup. I made an agreement with my aunt to watch my spending and to get this phone out of the way so that I can focus on saving. I've asked my uncle to come with me for pick up as I am a girl and I've seen women mention how buyers try to rob them (female and male).

yeah, I'm gonna miss my battery, I won't lie about that. I've never had one and if push comes to shove I can resell it for something else. I've just been dissatisfied with some of the latest Android phones to tell you the truth, and the camera features of this phone peaked my interest enough to want to try one. I was also kind of hoping to FaceTime my boyfriend, because messenger keeps fucking up for us (he's abroad rn). we're always missing each other's calls or we can't hear each other. it'd be nice to see him.

No. 71272

the iphone is hyped anon, it's not good. my bf recently switched to android and the only thing they miss is the camera, but then they found out their new phone takes better pics. you're being super irresponsible 'investing' in something that you feel is a necessity based on brand alone. look up better, cheaper phones.

No. 71276

Piqued your interest, sorry.

No. 71284

I almost changed it to this, didn't think it was right but figured someone would correct me. thank you.

…I don't believe it's a necessity or investment because of the brand, it's because it won't break down after a couple months of use; I'm aiming for longevity and durability. I mean, there are people with 4s still. they last quite a while. the camera features interested me. I'm not talking specifically of quality.

I'm tired of buying cheaper Androids that are done for before the year is up. the only one I've had that's been very good to me I've passed down to a sibling years ago. I've already requested a free repair estimate from the nearest CPR since they didn't have my phone as an option but I'm not certain I'll get a response fast enough.

No. 71313

I have no idea where to turn with this, farmers. I've always experienced difficulty in sexual situations with men and it has been a quiet cause of shame for me. Both times I tried to have sex their penises wouldn't enter my vagina (I now realize I was probably too dry and just wasn't turned on enough). Giving oral and handjobs have also bored me over the years, and I found myself thinking of mundane things not related to the guy or act at hand. This went on for most of my life until very recently, also refusing to get into relationships with guys as I just had no interest.

Over the last few years I've accepted that I'm probably bisexual, although thoughts of being with women turn me on more than men, and I fantasize over having a girlfriend more. This has more than ever been the case over the last year or so. However, I've never been in a sexual situation with a girl before and wouldn't know what to do. Any other bi girls/newly out lesbians in a situation similar to mine? How did you cope with those feelings of sexual inadequacy? I don't really masturbate either but I've been considering getting one of those Hitachi wands. I feel really silly and immature compared to most people I know and I can't exactly bring this up.

No. 71320

Maybe I need less advice and more of a pep talk but I just need to unload some info. Gonna greentext it because it's long
>Move out of home state a few years ago with fiance
>friends want to move out to same area
>They come live with us for the last few months of our lease, planning to get a two bedroom to split
>Give them their first month free so they don't blow through savings before getting a job
>month before we're out tell us they want their own place (fine with us because we were not working as roommates)
>tell us the DAY BEFORE rent is due they're not paying half because they're leaving early. Go as far as to calculate the cost per day and cut it in half
>agree to pay half bills but to this day have not done so
>Suddenly left with more than half rent
>still have a deposit to pay
>still haven't signed lease because fiance can't find a job and our credit is bad and we need to prove income
>SOMEHOW through the kindness of friends and working literally every single hour I possibly can we manage to get the place
>guy at the office even pulls strings to apply our first month free to our deposit so we have way less to put down to get in
>Use last of money on moving truck, do more than half the moving and packing ALONE because fiance is working and won't help when he's not
>He's been stressed, I let it go, but he broke my favourite mug by not being careful when we were moving
>Whatever we're here
>Come home day after we move in
>Cat i've had 10 years is dead
>fiance takes care of everything
>Friends help bring him and everything so i don't have to do it
>lowest option for cremation is $80
>we have $20
>Roommate from before works at the hospital they went to
>Immediately pays for a nice package that got me his pawprint too $150
>husband pays this back his first opportunity
>time passes, his grandma comes to visit
>She hates her visit here as we overhear her telling her husband on the phone
>Thinks we're lazy because we've finally had a break from stress and aren't unpacking very quickly (we'd been there two weeks)
>she unpacked a ton of stuff out of boredom because we were too broke to do anything
>took her to nature stuff though which she did enjoy so i just promise to make the next visit better
>She agrees, every other year.
>feel like shit tho
>Next month goes by fine. We're late on first month's rent but we just pay the late fees and it's fine
>our checks should cover rent fine next month
>checks do not cover our rent fine next month (we got sick around the same time so we were both around $100 short from normal which fucked us)
>It's fine we'll just have to cover late fees
>next check for fiance is approaching
>terrified we won't have enough
>having a near nonstop anxiety attack for the entire week leading up to payday
>My grandpa miraculously sends me $100 because he's paying me back for helping him with bills
>I get two more checks before rent and he has three so we might legit be fine next month
>Not taking chances, i apply to jobs like crazy th whole week leading up to the rent payment
>Day of an interview is same day rent is due
>go to shared credit union, they an't write me a check for a shared branch
>call grocery store
>Can you do certified check
>go there
>Oh, no we can't. i answered your call but i was wrong
>Fuck you
>drive all the way to my bank
>lose a quarter of gas because of this bullshit
>Whatever, have job interview
>make it just barely on time
>Manager isn't there
>They call her for me
>Lol i got sent home early and forgot i had an interview
>Whatever i live close, reschedule for today
>today finally goes well
>ace the interview, gotta wait to interview the DM but i'll probably get it
>interview monday at a job i actually want
>Go to burger king
>his cards declined
>FUCK was i wrong about how much was left?
>reluctantly use the cash in my wallet
>drop him off at work
>Was literally short some change
>Everything went better than expected

Today was good besides my fiance being kind of an asshole and being grumpy, but he confided he's been really sad because he misses my cat. I've been burying it because i don't handle loss well, but he doesn't handle it well very openly so I get it. Trying to cut him slack even though he was kinda a douche

Sorry for the REALLY LENGTHY post but the people in my life are sick of hearing my stories because my life is just ntohing but downers lately lol and i know it…I just needed to get all of this out somewhere and just feel some relief.

I should definitely get one of these jobs since I usually ace interviews (Being good at customer service for me translates into my interviews pretty easily. An interview is just an upsell of yourself!) so if i get one of these second jobs we won't be paycheck to paycheck anymore.

Plus minimum wage goes up in my state jan 1st so i'll be making a little bit extra already, thank fuck.

I also work christmas, by choice, yay overtime!So i feel amazingly better for once.

Life sucks guys but honestly the only thing that got me through it all was believing it can get better. If I can pass on some advice to any of you in exchange for my lengthy post, it's that whenever something shit is happening, no matter what it is, take a deep breath. Clear your mind, force it to shut up for two seconds, and say it out loud so you can affirm it to yourself, "It's going to get better." "It will be okay."

Because even if you have to wade in shit for months, eventually shit's gonna let up, but you can't let the crushing weight of despair weigh you down from taking steps that could make things better. For me that was continuing to apply to jobs and work my ass off at my current one to try to either move up (supervisor positions keep opening but i need to be trained in all areas of the store before i can move up) or find something better.

If i can survive this tidal wave of garbage in just three months, you guys can make it through anything too.

No. 71325

Aw anon, reading this it's very similar to me and my fiance's life. I also lol'd at "FIANCE ARE WANT BURGER"

living by the skin of your teeth with this kind of stress is really hard. We've been doing it for a year aand a half and it does stress the relationship a lot. I know you probably already know but it's important to talk to your fiance about the stress and for him to know he can talk to you too. The number 1 stress for us in the end that we only recently discussed was that we never really felt like we could talk about the situation without one of us getting upset. You seem to be handling it very well though.

I just got a new job Friday also so I send you all my nice new job good interview vibes, you will do great and things will look up for you both and you will both have many burger.

No. 71330


Sorry to hear about all your stress anon. Did the cat die due to any particular reason (stress at moving, eating poison plant at new place, etc? Or just old age?).(anxious animal lover here so I worry about these things)
Really shitty luck, hope you get the job(s) and everything starts going more smoothly.

No. 71331


It sounds like you're just not a (physiologically) sexual person Anon. Being bone-dry is not common but also might reflect on your lack of attraction to those guys/their lack of prowess.
As for the bi element, just let experiences happen organically rather than worrying about sexual competency, especially as sex is not performative as a female so it really is not an issue in that sense (even female-female). The most important thing is having a natural attraction to your partner, regardless of gender, and that's not something you can learn. It's biology. It's either there or it's not and it's not your fault if the attraction isn't happening such as in your examples with guys.
Also- other people being more sexually experienced shouldn't make you feel bad-we all mature at different rates.

No. 71335

The thing to remember, anon, is that everyone started off not knowing what they were doing. I’d definitely recommend exploring yourself first though, as it will help you learn what you like, which is always a bonus when it comes to sexual situations (with either sex). Other anon is right though, it might be that you’re just not a very sexual person, and that’s completely okay! Everyone is different. If/when you get into a sexual situation with a girl, just be honest with her about your experience level (and feeling nervous if that’s the case) and I’m sure she’ll be happy to show you what she likes. Have fun on your journey anon!

No. 71352

Thank you anon. He had cancer so it was inevitable. I knew it was coming before we moved, but god I didn't think it would literally be the DAY we were finished. It's been the hardest part to keep trying to stay positive through all of this bullshit without even having him to comfort me. He got into a bad chemical once when he was a young cat and I personally think that shit (it was MEDICAL GRADE shit my mom fucking brought home because she's stupid) eventually caused it in him.

Thank you. I got the call back for the second interview today (it's on tuesday) and I'm confident in the one for tomorrow.I've been feeling better since putting in rent yesterday (And actually after I picked fiance up yesterday from work he apologized for being an asshole earlier in the day too which helped) it's just a matter of biding time and having confidence it's going to get better.

No. 71353

I didn't see this one sorry for double post.
I wish it was as funny in person (we just don't have the money and I would've rather have spent it on groceries instead of one meal)

I'm unfortunately getting to a point where I can't talk to him about it. He doesn't handle stress nearly as well as I do so I've kinda buried a lot of it. However, in the past whenever we hit a tough situation this is kinda how i just AM yknow? I end up crying for hours after everything is done and he always supports me then, so I'll get my turn to let it out eventually.

Thanks anon, congrats on the job :) I hope you like it and it pays well!

No. 71382

I need some comfort. Right now I'm shaking and feel like vomiting.
I never knew my dad, he left when I was 1 year old. 2 days ago my mom was contacted via facebook by my dad's brother.. i guess you don't really need all the details, but he started out nice and polite and then turned out to be a cynical liar and just bad person when i caught his first lie. When I got him mad, he started lying about my mom and the reason they separated and supposed dark secret she's kept from me, just lowly BS to try to hurt me because I made him mad (he sent me 38 messages in 1 day, along with voice messages that I didn't open). Then I found out that my dad is just as much of a sick liar and was in on it.. I just feel really bad right now, knowing that the other half of me is a family of disgusting people. I was better off not knowing anything about them like I was a few days ago. thankfully I changed my name back when I was 18, so it's a bit of a comfort that I feel much more detached from them that way. But I can't shake off how tainted and grossed out I feel. The most I could do was send him the nastiest message of insults I could and block him. I also sent a message to my dad telling him to rot, despite never speaking to him directly.

No. 71401

Just ignore him. If it continues, consider a restraining order.

No. 71405


Poor little thing! Thank you for sharing with me, I definitely agree with your theory as to the cause. It's great he lived so long after actually getting into the chemical, shows how tough and happy he was! (and of course we can't help doing stupid things sometimes)

Great that the interviews are going well too! Fingers crossed for you. Staying calm helps a ton in these situations and I get a sense you are cool, calm and collected which 'll help you through.

No. 71406


Let your family (relevant to your mom) know that your uncle and father contacted you on the sly. Sounds like they are up to something. Since it clearly wasn't a friendly interaction. They probably want money/favors off you and think the decades of no contact can be bypassed when they want something. (I have a similar-ish situation, haha).
You've done the right thing to block. Just make sure everyone knows he contacted you+you are not friends/don't know him as they're probably trying to spread lies amongst your other relatives and so on and so forth. Maintaining the truth and avoiding contact is the best way.

No. 71696

File: 1513571575193.jpeg (40.57 KB, 493x430, 9FD3E6DD-178E-4A5D-9FF4-820A82…)

I don't know what to make of my sexuality anymore. In high school I had a really intense crush on a guy (I was too autistic to do anything about it), along with a mild crush on a girl. I've never had my first kiss or done anything with anyone. I rarely masturbate (very low sex drive) and I haven't really had feelings for a year or two now. I don't know what to consider myself… any advice?

No. 71698

Is a specific label really necessary? You just like what you like is all. Why not call yourself bi if youre attracted to men and women, if anything? Sorry, that's not really helpful.

Hey anon, similar crazy side of the family here. Dont give them the time of day and youll feel at ease. Pretend they dont even exist. My narcissist father also keeps trying to contact me by leaving guilt trippy messages when I stopped talking to him because hes a piece of shit. Youre not obligated to talk to people you dont like just because of blood relation. I understand its quite stressful and overwhelming at first, but it gets easier if you allow yourself to feel no emotion towards them like theyre strangers. If anyone from your crappy side of the family persistently tries to contact you (keeps happening to me) just keep blocking and ignoring, dont try to reason with or fight them.

No. 71704

if labels make you happy, you can call yourself biromantic asexual. Asexual does not mean no sex drive completely, may be just a low one. I, for example, consider myself "gray-A" which is mostly "idk, igaf, but definitely not as sexual/romantic as the others".
But I recommend giving it all a rest. Thinking about it too much only gives a person headache.

No. 71731

lol get out.

No. 71732

asexual -does- mean no sex drive. why the fuck do we need so many labels? not everyone has the same sex drive, that's literally not a thing. people don't even have the same sex drive level during the same month. pushing so many labels like that just forces a 'norm' which makes less people 'normal' which is the opposite of positive.

No. 71760


because I answered her question? Are you triggered when you hear a word "label" or? Some "sceptics" have even more sensitive assholes than tumblrinas, I swear.
I even recommended not thinking about it, it's not important for me too but anon asked for an advice in an advice thread. Chill.

No. 71775

okay so i turned 18 a couple of months ago. before i did, i went to my last pediatrician's visit before i needed to get a general doctor. when i was there, he expressed concerns that i was showing signs of depression. i know something is wrong with me because i've vented to my friends about my problems (ranging from being sexually harassed in the bathroom when i was 13, my best friend passed away from cancer when she was 14, a friend from long ago was the victim of a murder-suicide along with her twin sister and her father. i also dealt with self harm long ago, but contemplation manages to creep its way into my head when i'm particularly low) over the years and they say that i should seek help. the problem is, i have a helicopter parent for a mom and she denies the possibility of me having a mental illness anytime i bring it up to her. the only way i could ever manage to seek help is if i go behind her back and do it. i am her dependent so i'm on her insurance plan and i can't go find any random psychiatrist because since i am dealing with some form of mental illness, its very hard for me to find the motivation to wake up every day, much less find a job and work there every day. is there a possibility of her finding out that i went behind her back through her insurance? i know doctors won't disclose any information to your parents because of HIPPA but could the insurance company tell her?

No. 71776

lol nta, but you're the one who seems triggered. you didn't even answer her question well, and gave a bunk millennial definition for asexual. calm down and go take a nap or something.

No. 71778

former insurance anon here. we also are required to uphold HIPPA. they can tell her where services were rendered but not what they entail. though, i believe it would be in their system as like a 'session' or something, depends on what it's coded as. they have online therapy now which is paid out of pocket, but many insurance companies offer reimbursment, which would be a way to hide it.

No. 71781


I'm the one who originally asked the question. Can you all stop acting so retarded?
I'm calling myself asexual for now because even though I'm not fond of the word myself, it's the best way I can describe my situation without going into tumblrina territory. I don't care what it means, I just wanted some words to settle my anxiety.

No. 71785

What's a job I can get with only customer service and food service experience that isn't a part time garbage job? I want a "big girl" job but I can't afford to get a degree and working this 40 hour a week job for minimum wage is killing me (the other benefits are great but it doesn't pay rent).

Even something where I'd still need to work some hours at my current job.

I'm not asking for a hand holding experience just ideas of what to look for in my area cause I honestly have no fucking idea.

No. 71810

where do I start if I want to work in entertainment, specifically cinematography/videography if your school is too small to have such majors and classes? Current major is English btw and I’ve taken this past fall semester off. Might apply for online classes for my gen Eds this summer/spring but the hold on my account might hinder that if I don’t rectify that in time. I owe $1k for not dropping my classes in time lol, was trying to find ways to stay in school but couldn’t.

Sorry, the uni thread has been dead for months so I understand if this isn’t the correct thread for this question.

No. 71821

Does anyone have advice on how to 'get out into the market'?
I'm in my final year of university and have never had any relationship, just not sure how to go about it. Internet dating makes me very uncomfortable, something about the privacy and lack of control?(I also don't have any social media except for facebook)
Any advice or tips are appreciated :)

No. 71829

but asexual is not the right word to use. low sex drives are real things. and often times, especially for women they aren't permanent and can possibly even be due to lack of physical intimacy.

No. 71830

Well you're still in Uni. Use your last year as a chance to meet someone. Join a club or some kind of study group or SOMETHING. Go to social events your school puts on and meet people.

Otherwise, just be out in public and talk to people. If you like a guy/girl's shirt, compliment it and try to go from there or if you're both checking out the same thing, go for it.

The literal worst thing they're going to do is not respond 9/10.

As for internet dating, it's uncomfortable. I've done it and it kinda sucks. You don't get a good idea of who the person on the other end is just from their cherry-picked profile. Internet dating is more for sex than anything so use it if you wanna bang someone quick and forget about them but don't bother. Some people find love, I found a lot of headaches.

Though I will say this: If I had never dated the last guy I met online, I wouldn't have worked at the job where I met my friend who later introduced me to my now-fiance.

Life will lead you there sometimes, just don't ignore the opportunities.

No. 71831

Not everyone fits under a pretty little label, anon. If that's the best way the op can get across what kind of person they are quickly even if their answer would be "asexual sorta" it's still good enough.

Caring that much if a label fits you perfectly is why OP is struggling in the first place.

I have like zero sex drive myself and don't identify as asexual but sometimes in relevant conversation it's easier to say "I'm basically asexual" to get the point across.

Just like I say "I'm basically a lesbian who ended up falling for a guy" when I talk about my sexual preferences. I don't fit well under anything (Even bi doesn't really fit me).

The sooner you stop caring and just do you the better.

No. 71833

god are you stupid?

>not everyone fits under a label

>telling the anon who told OP NOT to try to fit under a label and was simply explaining low sex drive doesn't mean you need to label yourself

did you even read what you responded to??

No. 71848

What's a meaningful gift for my boyfriend/maybe-soon-to-be-fiancé? I love him so much, but he's hard to pick things out for. He's the kind of person who just buys everything that he wants as soon as he wants it. He has about a hundred bottles of cologne, clothes are difficult to pick out for him because he's quite broad and muscular.

No. 71849

Maybe give him an experience? Skydiving, climbing, scuba diving, a holiday trip etc

No. 71873

Then what do you suggest I refer to myself as, or do about the situation in a broader sense? My low sex drive has been temporary I guess, but I can't do anything about my lack of physical intimacy.

No. 71878

File: 1513901488902.jpg (32.06 KB, 480x511, image.jpg)

Advice on how to deal with grief and the feelings of build up just before?

My dad is about to finally die of cancer that is too far down the line to cure, he has days if that

I have been a mess- all year there's been scares where he's nearly gone but this time feels final and I can't stop crying and feeling a bunch of emotions I can't describe. I'm going to try and see him in hospital before he goes but I may not make it.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with grief? I'm an only child and I'm in my early twenties so I am losing him very young and my mother and I are both in pieces. I rent away from home so I take the train to see them.

I don't know what to expect, where to start and how hard it will be for my boyfriend and friends to be there for me because I worry easily about being a pain. Please help

No. 71879


Shit man, I wish I could help you or just do something but I can’t. My dad got diagnosed with cancer a while ago and it looks like it’s gonna be ok, but I’m sure it someday will come back.. idk. Never lost someone close and I’m not sure when it happens if I’m gonna be able to take it.
Sorry I couldn’t just ignore your post, hold close to your fondest memories of him anon. Be around others who love you and seek professional help if needed.

No. 71882

My mom is nuts! She's addicted to opiates, alcohol, weed, even fucking food. I hate her so much sometimes. Today, she had a doctor's appointment, but she's on a drug contract with her doctor because she's on pain meds. But the dumb bitch wants to smoke weed too. So she knows my pee is clean and made me take one of her pills and give her my pee. Which fine, I agreed to it like a dumb bitch myself because she'd make life hell if I didn't.

Well this morning I went to go pee cause I really had to and I totally forgot to collect it. She got so crazy with me. Saying I better drink water or coffee to make myself pee again or else she won't take me to work or school or anything. Even though if I stopped going to work we couldn't afford this house because she doesn't work since she's a fat lazy cunt. Then she through the dog's water bowl at me, getting me wet in dog water. I was so mad, so I just told her no. I wasn't going to pee. But she kept yelling, so I eventually did just pee.

When I got home she was all trying to be nice to me and all I'm sorry, but that I shouldn't have been mean to her and whatever she was saying. I'm just so upset with her. She makes me feel like I'm going crazy. There's a lot more to this, but I didn't want it to be so long. I just feel so hopeless.

No. 71887


That's actually ridiculous. Obviously none of this is your fault…She should try and be less addicted to various things rather than harassing you in ridiculous ways

No. 71894


Hey thank you, it's sweet you would reach out to me- I am sorry to hear about your dad and I hope there's a lot of hope for him and that it can be cured

Thank you again, you're sweet

No. 71898

Oh anon that's absolutely awful. There isn't anything anyone can say to make you feel better right now, but it honestly does get easier with time when you lose a parent. My dad got in a car accident when I was a baby and for 8 years he was in a coma due to severe brain damage. Every year we had a scare where we thought he'd die as he'd get ill often, mostly with pneumonia and things of that nature. He never got better and was basically left to get sick over and over until one time the pneumonia got him. I was 9 when he died and it was very traumatic as I always thought he would magically get better. It is very hard to describe what it's like to lose a parent, but it is a very big event that we all have to go through. You do feel extremely lost for a long time, angry, anxious. The whole gamut, you will feel it. And that is okay.

The best thing is to have a good support system and to know that it will take any amount of time for you to feel okay with having lost your father. I can't remember when that happened for me as it is so gradual, but I do know it took a while. Surround yourself by loved ones and try and keep focused on something, whether that be work, school or a hobby. Be there for your mum and hold her when she needs it.
Lastly, I say refrain from trying to be 'strong'. You're fully within your right to cry, feel low and break down. There is no weakness in sadness or grief.

Sorry if this was rambling, and I am so sorry this is happening to you, especially at this time of year. But you will get through it, anon. Promise.

No. 71924


(sorry for my shitty English)
My father died of cancer when I was 21. It will be 3 years the day after Christmas.

I strongly recommend talking to him before he dies. My father was basically in a vegetative state when he left so he couldn't understand what I said, but I still talked to him and told him all the things I wish I had said sooner, and it helped a lot afterwards. It's very hard to do, but I really recommend doing it. My mother had strongly advised me to do it because she didn't talk to her own father before he died and it still pains her after more than 20 years.

It will be hard, especially because it's happening during the Christmas season, but good support and time will heal your wounds. I promise.

No. 71925

>New guy I was talking to spends all weekend snapchatting me telling me how pretty I am, how much he likes me, how he thinks it's so great we have so much in common, how we should hang out and watch movies together, etc
>Next day he doesn't snapchat me
>i initiate the conversation, he's not as enthusiastic as he was before and is taking forever to respond
>same thing the next day except he leaves me on seen
>Too humiliated by being ignored to say hi again, but he still watches all my insta stories and likes my photos
>confused as fuck

I want to die. I don't understand men and I give up on dating.

No. 71926

How can I improve my driving skills? I have trouble anticipating when other cars will brake or turn, and trying to be alert all the time only to make mistakes really makes me upset. I don't drive that often, so maybe that's why, but how can I possibly keep wanting to when each session nearly ends up in a crash? Should I just stay away from driving all together?

No. 71927

You're only going to learn from experience. Pick one location to drive to (if you can) everyday. Go there and then go home. Gradually broaden the distance and pick another place to drive. If you do this everyday then it will be second nature, seriously. I was a lot like you until I was forced to drive myself to college everyday and back home. Then I just started challenging myself by going other places. Listening to music while driving helps me with the anxiety too.

No. 71929

I've had some problems in the past, and as a result, my GPA isn't so hot. I right now have
under a 2.5 GPA, but this semester I made a 3.5. I feel like I have the capacity to improve, but I feel like anyone who looks at my transcript is going to see the failed classes and throw any application away. Now I have no idea what I could do over the summer that isn't an unpaid internship or working an unproductive job. Any advice?

I'm in America btw

No. 71930


I've had the "waves of interest" guy before. If you worry about it it'll drive you mad. He will do it again, hot and cold and keep making you feel shitty.
The point is he came on strong and then backed off, so it is on him. You didn't cause it.

No. 71936

I've been with my boyfriend on and off for about 8 months we used to fight a lot and I was super unhappy but the last month or so it's been going really well. A few days to me he admitted that he slept with a girl I knew of (and openly dislike) while we were on one of our breaks, I'd suspected something had happened and I'd brought her up a few times but he failed to mention it. I don't feel he's actually done anything wrong but I feel like I've been deliberately lied to, I'm not really sure what to do or where we go from here

No. 71942

I hate to be one of those anons screaming "DUMP," but surely you can find someone you're more compatible with; someone you obviously won't have a negative past with. You don't want to end up feeling like you've wasted a lot of your precious time when things go south from here because of your insecurity about him sleeping with this girl and anything else that made you two fight in the first place.

No. 71948

Oh, fuck.

I'm in college right now and I've failed some classes because of an illness that was previously undiagnosed. How completely fucked am I?

No. 71950

Guys, I'm ugly.

I look like Peggy Olsen from the 1st season of mad men.

Big teeth, lips don't touch, big ugly nose, dark hollows under my eyes, bad skin, mediocre hair and mediocre body.

What do I even do about this? I deal with some pretty serious health issues, it limits me somewhat but I still have a part time job and go to university. I have a few talents, a few friends, lots of hobbies, and a lousy, but presentable, dress sense.

I realize that the basics are drink water, exercise, lose weight, wear makeup, take care of your hair and health, eat right, get enough sleep. But I'm still ugly. Still awkward looking.

I realize I should stop caring about how I look and instead I should focus on school and honing my talents, making myself a better person. But in a world dominated by the value of appearances, I feel severely limited by my physical state.

No. 71953

I'm the anon you replied to. Depends on your field, I guess.

I'm willing to take anything that would be helpful for gainful employment. I also want to apply to some programs but I'm wary of the application fee. Some of them are over $50. My family can afford it but I feel like I'm throwing money away.

No. 71954

Hate to say this but work! Work hard and you will either find someone who accepts you or you'll find to accept yourself. Become independent and enjoy time with yourself. If you really find that you cannot love how you look save up money for plastic surgery and learn makeup. I'm nto against plastic surgery because we only have one limited time on this earth and if you want to change how you look to enjoy this short time then so be it. Do realize that as a person you are great though.

No. 71958

Saaaaaame thing here anon! We've been on and off. We got into a couple fights over text and now he isn't responding to me but he's opening my instagram stories almost every single day. I sent a couple short friendly DM's through instagram and he hasn't read them either. Yet he's been opening my stories and he's been posting stories himself. I'm pretty confused. I don't know if he put me on mute on DM or what? But if he dislikes me right now I doubt he would even open my stories. I've just been so tired from work since it's near Christmas and this feels like a weird dream lol

Like this anon said, it does drive you mad. Since I'm so sleep deprived I was even getting weird dreams about it.

No. 71961

Apply to jobs that don't require a GPA cutoff. I have a low GPA but gotten interviews/internships because of networking. I believe in you!

No. 71970

How can I network? I'm willing to try but I don't know how to get started. And do you know how to find decent internships? I'm finding a bunch of junk which is frustrating.

No. 71979


I appreciate both your advice
Unfortunately he died two days ago before I got to him but this year we did manage to talk a lot and I'm thankful

I am the type who tries to remain outwardly strong and I've been in pieces so it's reassuring to be told it's ok to not be strong

I am so so sorry for your losses too and I want to hug you

No. 72005

I love my boyfriend and everything and I'm not gay and I've never been with a girl but I keep having lesbian thoughts/fantasies/daydreams and I'm not a cheater and I feel really horrible about it. I want a husband and kids when I'm older but the idea of having a girlfriend is kind of nice too. I don't know if I'm gay or not but I feel like if anything ever happened between me and my boyfriend I don't know if I could ever be with a man again. Am I gay am I a cheater I don't know I feel so bad about all of this

No. 72008

Just chill. Indulge in your fantasies alone and get a feel for it. The more you beat yourself up about it the more of an actual thing it will become. It's normal to have thoughts. Don't worry!

No. 72012


To use a tumblrism, you are demisexual- only interested in a partner you love e.g your boyfriend, and bi at least in your fantasies. You won't know for sure unless you try to date girls at some point, but being bi is no problem (probably no better time to be bi or gay with all the positive press and legalized marriage). So you have nothing to worry about.
Btw lesbian fantasies are crazy common amongst "straight" women, partially to do with how women are sexualized and how lesbians are viewed as "sexy" by the media. So basically you're in good company and a lot less unusual than you think.

If you read more comments on here you'll see some Anons have found out their boyfriends' porn choices are very different to their actual girlfriend's appearances and ages. Men do not view their differing sexual fantasies as cheating, so neither should you.

No. 72022

Just found out an ex best friend’s family member died. I feel awful because I know she handles death terribly. She was a really toxic friend, but I’m fighting the urge to message her. Not sure if I should, or just let it be. I know she wouldn’t do the same if it were me…. but I just feel pretty terrible and worry for her.

No. 72031

This is really your decision anon. If it were me I'd probably give in and make sure they were okay, especially if I knew they were close to that family member and probably dip once they were able to deal with it, probably starting with something like "Look we aren't friends anymore but that doesn't mean I don't care about you. Are you doing okay and is there anything I can do for you?"

If you guys were close, sometimes it can be s tep towards repairing their toxicity if they realize how good of a friend you really were but it's a slim chance.

I think the best advice is to tell you not to though, depending on in what way they were toxic.

No. 72032

i'd leave it alone. if you help her now she'll come to you later in the future, and if she's toxic she'll just bring toxicity.

No. 72180

I used LinkedIn to reach out to alumni that are in careers/ companies I am interested in. From there, I set up coffee chats to ask questions and give off a good impression.

I think ultimately you need to have a focus on what type of job/career you want. I narrowed down my outreach and job applications based on the industry I want. Only regret I have is not diversifying a little more, as the field I was going for was extremely competitive.

No. 73174

should I purchase lolita clothing? I really love how the clothing looks, but realistically I am a bit shy about wearing it in public. I feel like my youth is fleeting and I want to be a kawaii weeabo girl before I get too old to get the chance…opinions?

If I do buy the clothes, I'm probably only going to wear it for photoshoots or in my house lol

No. 73176

If you have the money, go for it! There's no reason to not indulge yourself in hobbies you want to try.

No. 73178

Thanks anon! I think the main thing holding me back is I'm still a student and don't want to spend my parents money buying this stuff.

I'm probably going to get a part-time job so I can buy lolita clothes. mfw broke af but also don't want to be cheap and end up looking like an ita

No. 73185

File: 1515763048750.jpg (102.45 KB, 894x606, Kurumi_looking_at_her_self.jpg)

In my early 20s, where can I find a "boduoir photographer" for a reasonable price?

I want to do some for my boyfriend as a surprise, professionally, but I am on a budget and there's only a couple in my local area and idk what to search for specifically

How do I seek out safe photographers online?

No. 73203

File: 1515782118392.jpg (347.88 KB, 1240x720, gift.jpg)

i recently got into a disagreement with my boyfriend on why he doesn't get me jewelry or flowers. he used to get me flowers all the time in the beginning of the relationship because he knew how much they meant to me.

before we got together he told me about all the rings and necklaces he showered his ex with, but that was super toxic bc he would spend literally all his money to make her happy. he told me he felt like all the gifts he gets me now ( little plushies, books, etc. ) were in sense, flowers and jewelry.
i straight up asked if i dont seem like the kind of girl who would like flowers or jewelry instead of the toys and he said yeah, that I dont dress really glamorous at all, that I seem really casual. it hurt me a little because I do want to dress nicer but we dont really do anything when we go out plus im kind of in between straight sizes and plus size where everything is too big or too small.

I know the biggest problem was communication but we are pretty good at working on that. i dont want him to starve himself to afford a gift i would like, but i cant help but still feel sad about it. i know its selfish and irrational, but i guess it has a lot to do with me not feeling feminine and in a sense pretty enough? i would love to dress like I'm from a Ted Baker catalog all the time, but I need cheaper that options that also have a bigger range of sizes?

No. 73204

He's just buying you shit that he thinks you would enjoy. If you don't present yourself a certain way then obviously people aren't going to think twice. My own family has gifted my cousins things which weren't gifted to me and that's because I never openly expressed interest and since I'm very constant they assume my tastes have not changed all these years. But yeah anon work on whatever issues you have instead of blaming someone for not being a mind reader. Some people do the latter and it's really fucked up.

No. 73206

im not blaming him at all, i know it seems like that in the post but i let him know it is me in the wrong and i didnt want him to feel bad. like i said, i know my feelings are selfish and irrational. you're absolutely right though. i just need help with presenting myself the way i want without breaking the bank + finding options + not get my shit self esteem in the way.

No. 73207

Totally. You can start off simple with nail care or light cosmetic, looking up ootd coords on Instagram or something.

No. 73208

Asked the bf not to follow camgirls/SG on instagram anymore, he unfollowed them all.

Something felt off, look through his followed accts, 18+ acct featuring a SG and her musician bf, he follows it. Porn type pics.

Advice time: Do I tell him I looked and found it and ask him why he's following/ask him to unfollow? Log on to his acct and unfollow and see if he confronts me about it? Say nothing? What do.

No. 73209

would you tell him not to watch regular porn? maybe thats just what it is to him. but i would think its weird because hes following one specific person to watch different videos of. i guess thats normal to some guys but i wouldn't like knowing my boyfriend is obsessed with one specific actress. maybe offer that perspective if you confront him?

No. 73210


The thing is, I know he watches porn and it's fine as long as he comes to me for sex first. If I say no, I can't deny him the right to jerk it.

I don't like camgirls or SG because of the platform and the ability to contact them. Porn is disconnected, cam and sg are not. We had a massive fight about it and he admitted he was in the wrong and now like 6 months later he's following one and I'm not sure if I should bring that up again or not for the fear of looking insecure. Tbh, I feel like it's sneaky and lying that he followed one. He also hasn't been as frisky with me so that's what made me suspicious and look.

No. 73212

maybe ask first why you two haven't been engaging? im sorry to say it will probably come off as insecure but youre obviously feeling hurt about it and his actions. i would bring it up before it turns into an even bigger thing.

No. 73219


>As long as he comes to me for sex first

Why are you policing this? Has he banned you from watching porn unless you ask him first? Policing someone's porn AND who they follow online is a bit controlling, no?
Let the man live, it sounds like you're running an oppressive regime over there

No. 73220

You sound like an incel.

No. 73221


I'm female. You can't police what someone does online unless it's a mutual deal. If anon is also banned from following attractive males or watching porn, fair dos

No. 73222

There has to be something wrong with me. This is the first relationship where I am treated really well. Yet he is all sorts of flirty with female friends and they vice versa.

I have guy friends and was initially cool with the females until I noticed the flirtiness. He is also friends with people he had one-night stands with.

I have been with significantly less people (5) to him (16 or 17–he can't remember). I know that number is not high. Logically, I know this. Yet there is that pesky nagging in the back of my head.

He is going to a tennis tournament this weekend and was talking about partying with his boooiz near the biggest party school in the state. I trust him, but I keep thinking, "Dude. You're 28 and want to party with 21-23 year olds? Wtf?"

He cheated in two past relationships and I have been cheated on multiple times with an ex. I want to trust him and be happy. I talked to him about my concerns and he was such a sweetheart about it. I hate that I am like this.

No. 73223

>This is the first relationship where I am treated really well. Yet he is all sorts of flirty with female friends and they vice versa.
Somebody doing this, especially after you expressing concerns about it, doesn't sound like good treatment or character.

>He cheated in two past relationships

And he will continue to cheat. People don't change.

>I have been with significantly less people (5) to him (16 or 17–he can't remember). I know that number is not high.

It is, actually. Not crazy high, but your number a way closer to the average.

>There has to be something wrong with me.

>I hate that I am like this.
The only thing wrong with you is that a string of shitty relationships has fucked up your self esteem and given you a warped concept of what being treated well means and what is and isn't a red flag. Shitty people are really good at detecting people with your issues, that's why after the first bad relationship you kept getting into ones with other shitty people. They're predatory. He doesn't deserve trust and isn't "sweet". Your issue isn't unfixable, though, just stay out of relationships for awhile, get therapy, work on yourself, etc, and eventually you'll stop attracting so many people like that and be equipped to judge people more accurately.

No. 73251

File: 1515915416071.jpg (197.18 KB, 1395x967, maxresdefault.jpg)

So I'm currently in a relationship right now with a really good guy, he has some flaws but he is incredibly loyal and loves me so much. We have been going on for 6 years now, but I always have a nagging feeling that I want to be with someone else (anyone else).

I don't know if my intrinsic nature is just hungry for male attention or anything, but a lot of guys/guyfriends like me and I always fantasize about what could have been or about leaving with them instead. There was even a time I made out with some guy but and yea I'm a piece of shit. Am I a piece of shit or are these doubts normal?

No. 73252

>made out with a guy

So you pretty much cheated on your boyfriend yeah? Just fucking dump him if you're at the point of fantasizing of riding on the cock carasoul. Dump him, suck many dicks and then find some beta orbiter once you've hit the wall. Enjoy.

No. 73253

File: 1515919145445.jpeg (65.39 KB, 576x1024, DRzytI_WkAAFjgi.jpeg)

My boyfriend and me have been together over a year and whilst we still have honeymoon phase moments, I want to make him fall all over ahain and seduce him a little to rekindle and also because I know he'll make more effort again and I won't feel like I'm losing my novelty

What are some ways I can seduce and win his heart all over again? Any ideas appreciated, I love when he'd fuss me and do sweet things for me and I know simply nagging him to pay me more attention or chase me has no effect- how do you make a guy want to chase you again?

No. 73255

>le cock carousel until reaching le wall
Shoo, robot.

I used to be like that as well. Do you also struggle with choosing career paths, hobbies, major decisions? For me it was always tied to that, because I wanted to do so many things (and be with so many people - not for casual sex, but for a relationship) - and realistically could do so many things. But you can't do it all, you have to choose.

Oh, and part of the reason why I struggled with it so much was because I grew up on the internet and believed retarded /b/tard redpill crap until I was 20, so I was terrified of "wasting my youth" on the wrong guy, because I thought I had to marry whoever I got with. Cue finding infinite flaws, getting paranoid about him not being good enough, dumping, etc. So I loathe redpillers who think believing their shit is beneficial to anyone. If anything, it just makes women pickier.

I actually had to break up eight one year long relationships with eight different guys who really loved me until I "sated" my curiosity and found someone I loved. A few things/advice I picked up and that were helpful to me and might be helpful if you're similar:

1. You'll always be curious and feel some longing, just like you'll always be curious and longing for that STEM job you won't get because you went into humanities. Can't have both, cherish what you have and don't focus on what ifs.

2. No boy is the perfect boy. Find someone agreeable with a lifestyle compatible with yours that you like, and everything else can be negotiated and overcome if you love each other and are willing to talk.

3. No, really, you'll always feel the curiosity. I experienced it first-hand, no amount of relationships will make it go away, and it's easy to get used to the "there's something wrong with this one guy/damn, I could be with that other guy… NEXT!" lifestyle, and it's not pleasant.

No. 73257

ldr boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me a week ago. told me he loves me, will always love me, care for me and wants to remain close but 'cant be in a relationship with you or anyone'

i will admittedly shamed i called/texted him and begged him to come back to me and tried to compromise we could still stay together but have space. he had spoken to me and reassured that was still what he wanted and wouldnt change his mind.

yesterday he didnt reply at all and just ended up leaving all my messages on read so i've blocked communication for now.

hurting real bad. don't know if he is genuinely depressed/messed up or just an asshole. hes never shown one ounce of respect or commitment for me, just happy being a neet where his parents pay his bills.

No. 73261

You're a piece of shit. Cheating isn't anyone's intrinsic nature, it's a choice.

No. 73286

Thanks a lot anon, I really resonated with EVERYTHING you typed out. I've always been someone who is indecisive and wants to try everything.

When you did end up with the person who satisfied you the most, did you settle down with them because you thought they had least flaws, best fit for you, or just the sense of wanderlust was gone?

I'm probably going to avoid the /b/ shit, because it probably did some unhealthy effects on me.

No. 73287


Well I am self-aware in that I'm a crappy person lol

No. 73293

Does anyone have any advice on creating a new identity?
I’m changing my name legally soon

I’m tired of having a stalker the police won’t do anything about.

>I’m 22

>no kids
> only 2 family members alive

Help would be really appreciated I’m just tired of running away from him anymore

No. 73295

are you like moving and stuff too? there's no real need to change your name and all that, just move across country.

No. 73296

Report back cause I'm also determined to change my name too because I hate it to all get go. I'm just so scared of the judge laughing in my face and denying me. I'm also getting married soon so I could wait to kill two birds with one stone.

Have you thought about moving to another state after you change your name?

No. 73298

How do you get out there after a breakup?

I was in a pretty shitty relationship for over seven years and ngl, I would kind of like to have sex again. We broke up in May of 2017, and only moved out of the same apartment a month ago. We ceased having a physical relationship around Halloween. I have one guy I have a massive distance crush on but he's a significant ways away and we won't see eachother again for a few months at best.

No. 73300

try dating apps if you don't want anything serious. if you do, you have any hobbies you like that can get you out and about?

No. 73308


It sounds dumb but I'm still trying to figure out my own interests. I was mild weeb trash before my ex but kind of became a Stacy to spend more time with him. How fucked is that?

No. 73312

I'm 21, fat, and kinda ugly. I wanna start using makeup and losing weight but it feels pointless now that I'm an adult and it's too late to be pretty for my 'golden years'. Is a total makeover even worth it after you're 21?

No. 73315

Is this bait… i mean…
Yes anon, it is worth it.

No. 73317

What if we said "yes, it's too late"?

Would you just spend the next 60 years of your life being as fat and ugly as you feel you are? Just because you're in your 20s, just because it's "too late" that doesn't mean it's just time to dig your grave and step into a coffin. The 5 or so golden years that you missed aren't worth more than the next 6 decades you still have.

No. 73323

Since 10 I've been unwilling to wear a dress/skirt or shorts that can't reach my knees. It's fine on the rare occasion that I cosplay characters that do wear these clothes, but when I try wearing them outside of cosplay it just feels wrong, like I'm not supposed to, so I stick to wearing baggy jeans. I also don't like having my arms and neck exposed so even during summer I'd wear hoodies/turtlenecks.

I've never thought about it until it was brought up during a chat with friends, they'd go on and on about me wasting my good legs and figure (which I don't understand because I'm skinny af and don't have their curves). I told them I don't even want to make an effort to look good because I don't think it's necessary, then they argued that I won't be able to get a bf/gf, but I don't want to be in a relationship at all.

I get that you can look good for yourself and not for others, but still, should I change? Because I'm now 23 and I can't wear hoodies and baggy jeans for the rest of my life. I'd love to wear more fitted men-style/gender neutral casual suits because I like how I look and feel in them. In fact this winter I bought two suit jackets that I'm starting to wear more frequently with my turlenecks and cardigans, and wear suit pants for work and jeans when out with friends. I also bought a double-breasted coat that made me feel dapper af. But my mom thinks I'm not feminine enough and my friends think I look nice but too pretentious, and again wasting my good legs. Should I listen to them and start wearing dresses and skirts? And if so how should I conquer my disgust? I don't really know what to do with my appearance since I'm ugly and I've never cared. Anons that suffered through my text wall, any advice?

No. 73324

i used to wear business casual stuff almost exclusively even during high school and hated skirts. now i only wear them, usually mini skirts. i wear undershorts with them though which helped me, but this was a change that i made myself. you shouldn't wear skirts if you don't like them, many girls don't and they don't have trouble getting guys. it sounds like your friends are imagining a very specific person rejecting you, which you may not even want. i'd say if you want to develop a style you shoud, but don't let your friends push you into something you don't want.

No. 73369

You can dress nicely while not looking super feminine, many people find the more neutral look very appealing. If you want to try out a feminine look with skirts and stuff, maybe try wearing something with tights which gives off a classier look and doesn't fully expose your legs. It's a good idea to put effort into your appearance but don't feel forced to dress girly if you're not a fan of the look, people have different styles and you should wear what appeals to you.

I definitely relate to only wearing a hoodie and jeans even in the summer months but I'm trying to break out of that as well. Good luck anon!

No. 73391

No. 73415

Do new things together. Try something you haven't done before. Go on a day trip. Try a project. The newness of the activity will keep things from feeling routine. Also, treat him the way you did when you first started dating.

No. 73417

I felt old when I was 21. I think it's something to do with the media prioritizing and sexualizing teens. Surprise: I got more attractive after I was 27. There's no "golden years". Just look after yourself, dedicate time to your interests and skills, respect and value yourself and you're good to go. (I dunno if 27+ is old to be lurking on lolcow either, but I need dat Youtube drama)

No. 73419

Thanks anons! I experimented today wearing a preppy a-line skirt (gift from a friend) and tights to work, both male and female coworkers complimented my legs, but still not a fan of the style at all, so I went and bought a pair of suit pants to change into during lunch break, as well as a men's waistcoat and will get it fitted after work. I'm going to stick to my guns and say no to skirts.

No. 73423

now you're free, use the time to try out new things and figure out what you really like!

No. 73459

Recently just lost my job. I filed for unemployment insurance and sent out a fuck-ton of applications and resumes. Feeling pretty lost. What else can I do?

No. 73462

Enjoy that spare time while it lasts because once you hit full time employment you can kiss your life goodbye

No. 73473

You've truly eased my anxiety, thank you.

No. 73477

I haven’t really been in a relationship in I would say 2 years maybe. And recently I found myself totally falling for this one guy but I’m awful around people I find attractive and can’t bring myself to blatantly show that I’m interested in him. I’ve sparked up some conversations with him and he has with me too but we just mostly talk about our interests never really bring up anything romance related and haven’t really flirted per say.
I met this guy back in I think September, maybe late August. Hes older than me so I think that might be a bit of a problem ( I’m 19, he’s 26) for him, but not for me. I’m very interested in him and have no idea how to go about it. Some of my more experienced friends have adviced me to play hard to get but I’m not even sure hes interested in me. Weve hung out together outside of the work environment two times but always with other people .We’ve seen more of each other lately but haven’t had a conversation that’s not work related and short, which discourages me and makes me think he’s not interested but then he’ll send signs that he is. What should I do? I don’t want to be too forward but I also don’t I want to seem completely disinterested.

No. 73545

i met my boyfriend at 19 and he was 26! im 20 now and were about to hit our 1 year, so it is possible! i had to send some pretty strong signals that i was into him, so flirt with him if you really want him! ask more personal stuff, if he wants to see a movie, try getting a little closer, etc. my bf was a little uncomfortable about the age difference too because he thought i wasnt going to be mature enough or going to be a little higher maintenance due to my age. that might be the case for your crush? dont feel bad if you two dont click due to the age difference because that will get in the way of a lot of things, such as you hanging out with his friends who will be in his age group and vice versa. sometimes thats too hard to get over.

No. 73546

I'm overwhelmed. Since getting a new job about two years ago and finally getting actual spending money, I started splurging on things I have wanted for years. I bought a nice sewing machine to learn, but still dont know how to sew. I bought a 3DS and PSVita along with several games for each console and havent touched any of them. I have several new books on my shelves that remain unread. I think I got so much at once that I just cant decide what I want to indulge in and get tired of it before I start. I have thought about selling or returning these items, but then I feel like I would regret that deeply, because I still want to own them. I might want to use them someday? This sounds like I'm a spoiled brat but I paid for everything. I earned them. I just can't bring myself to enjoy them :(

No. 73556

Do any farmers here have positive experience with language learning apps? And do you personally use some sites to talk with foreigners with the sole purpose of practicing a language?

In my case I would like to practice japanese and italian. I know those really well albeit passively. I just need practice.

No. 73557

I totally know how you feel because I'm kind of in a similar situation, though in my case it's mostly because of my lack of free time and buying a lot of things when they're on sales. I also have a 3DS and a PSVita actually. At least for video games what you can do is try to list all the video games you have and the ones you want, and try to sort the out by what you want, like maybe you can prioritize short games, or the ones that can be played online (because of servers), etc. I use HLTB to create these lists little by little but I think there are other websites you can use. Then try to get used to playing whenever you have enough free time, and your backlog will diminish little by little without you even noticing because it'll become a habit. It's especially true for RPGs, and there are many long ones on the 3DS. It could also work for books, idk because it's not really a hobby of mine anymore because of the lack of free time.

As for learning how to sew, I know some of my friends tried to learn how to knit and were only really motivated when they tried to learn together so maybe try to find a friend who can help you with that? Although that's easier said than done.

>I have thought about selling or returning these items, but then I feel like I would regret that deeply, because I still want to own them.

I had to sell a lot of manga a year ago, and I personally regret selling only some of them. At the time I really wanted money so I didn't take the time to sort out what I wanted to sell. If it ever happens that you have to sell some video games or books, think about it deeply before doing anything, check what you want to keep because you'll use them later, or if you want to start a collection of something. But don't force yourself to keep things you know you will never play or read or whatever. And try to see where you can make the best deals.

If it helps you feel less guilty, try to only buy physical copies so you can eventually sell them or give them, and try to buy them secondhand if possible since it's less expensive most of the time. Sorry, that wasn't very coherent.

No. 73558

I'd had the same problem before anon, not only I get to earn some money, but also the free time and space I've wanted for years. It had felt overwhelming and unreal, being able to do the things I've always wanted that I didn't know where to start. I convinced myself that learning things involve a lot of messing around and that it's ok to mess up at first, because the thought of myself being inadequate stopped me from trying new things.

Looking at your list of things, if I were you I'd start with the sewing machine. Buy some cheap fabric and thread to fuck around sewing different kinds of lines, testing out the functions and familiarize yourself with the machine. You can then try sewing simple things like handkerchiefs that you can use, and from there move onto simple projects like bodices and skirts, so on and so on. You can find free patterns and tutorials online. Take your time, you're never too old to sew.

Invite your friends over to play with the consoles, just have fun! Socialize a bit! Just associate "fun" with the consoles and you'll be motivated to pick it up and play yourself.

As for the books, bring a book with you to work, read during breaks, or if you take public transportations, during commute. Include the books in your daily life.

No. 73559

She could even take her consoles with her if there are any places where she can find other gamers. Like in cons or in bars for gamers, something like that. I know I often take my 3DS with me because of the streetpass feature and it can give good opportunities for multiplayer, and I'm far from the only one who does that.

No. 73592

If you're female, the sketchy middle eastern dudes will flood your inbox even if you're very specific that you only want to learn Japanese and Italian.

No. 73594

My god! Exactly that happened to me as well!
I signed up at a few of them in within just a few days i probably up to 50 of them; immediately deleted again
(Plus they get so angry when you tell them that No you're not interested that he's an architect in egypt…)

No. 73595

not an app, but try ohmyjapan. i've met a few people on there wanting to learn english that add me on skype and stuff and it's been positive!

also fucking this >>73592 i just block them >>73594

No. 73614

Sorry for taking a while to respond! Mostly I think the sense of wanderlust was gone, but I probably would have kept going because of the inertia if I hadn't found someone I deeply respect as a person and not just as a boyfriend.

Staying away from /b/ullshit will do you good. Best of luck, anon

No. 73620

File: 1516411456661.gif (550.73 KB, 400x160, wtwt.gif)

I sleep all the time and even if I don' sleep I'm tired. I live like that most of my life, but recently is getting a lot worse.
I can't live normally anymore because I only sleep. I did blood test again recently and my thyroid, anemia, glucose is ok.
My pulse is also ok.

So next week I'm going to do some more blood test, and here is my question for you, do you have any ideas what more should I check in my blood?
I also thought to do brain MRI…

Oh, and i did also echocardiogram and electrocardiography and everything was ok besides one thing, the doctor said that my heart is really small but when I asked if this is reason of fatigue she said no. Is that true? And there are some ways to make it bigger?

Also, yes, I tried exercising and I eat healthy, but nothing changes. And it's not probably psychological thing.

Sorry, I'm desperate and I'm searching for answers.

No. 73638


>always tired

>now even worse

That's me too. Things that help:
Making sure you have enough protein, cooked hot food (not pre-cooked or "ready to eat"), biotin supplements (may give you spots), not being on contraceptive pill, not drinking alcohol, not drinking sugary drinks inc squash, drinking pure water (filtered, bottled), going to the country for fresh air or getting an air conditioner. A lot of things and patience and it will improve.

No. 73639


Also exercise is actually bad for people with chronic fatigue, basically can be dangerous as it pushes the body too far. So ignore the "exercise cures everything!" crowd if you are fatigued.

No. 73640

My life is legitimately a huge clusterfuck and I ant out of it. Long story short, got super depressed at my university on the opposite side of the country so I took a year off school and went back to live with my parents, now I'm back in school at a significantly less prestigious public state school and feel like such a failure. All I can think about is how much of a waste all of the money my parents spent for me to go to private school and for the first two years of private college was. I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I won't be able to have a great 6-figure earning job out of college like I probably would've been able to if I'd stayed at my old school because I go to a state school. I had my whole life planned out until I got depressed and now the trajectory of my life seems unimaginably depressing.

No. 73645

I say that's a win anon. You get to be closer to home at an affordable school. You can pay your parents back later, they get it. Everything is gonna work out and if you don't think so just remember that anon who told you so!! Aka me.

I'm assuming you went to the east coast so thank God you're not there anymore. It's hard to adjust there if you're not used to it.

No. 73647

Does anyone have a daily schedule for a neet?

No. 73654

Not sure if this counts as being a NEET, it's me skipping summer classes and locking myself up in my room for most of the day because I'm too terrified of my grumpy drunk dad (who had lost his job and got into debt) to be seen by him.

>Wake up around noon, listen for TV noises/mumbling, if all is clear that means dad went out to buy booze, so I get out to use the toilet, and say hi to mom before she leaves for work. If noises were there I'd wait till he leaves while I eat (usually bread). If I hear my parents argue I'd wait till they get physical and bolt to pull mom into my room.

>Talk with the school social worker I've been seeing for two years over the phone, I didn't want to leave because my mom was still there so the social worker made me call her every day to make sure I'm safe

>Spend the rest of the afternoon on the internet, reading books, and taking naps. No I don't have friends to talk to.

>When dad passes out from the booze (evidenced by heaving snoring), usually around 9-10 pm I'd get out, take a quick shower, then get changed to go to my part-time job as a karaoke waitress at 11

>Have employee meal then work. Work ends at 6 am. Wash face and slap on moisturizing cream because I want to go straight to my room when I go home, I'd never know if dad's awake or not

>Buy food and stuff at convenience store on the way home

>Clean up the vomit and mess at the living room if dad has passed out, bolt to safety of room if not

Rinse, wash, repeat, until you go home and find that your dad had chocked on his own vomit.

No. 73664

That's dark.

No. 73673

Yeah, tbh I thought that I may have that chronic fatigue syndrome. But the worst thing is that when I do my best people be like "you need try harder" like I AM TRYING, this is the most fucking funny thing. Sorry, but this thing goes on my nerves.

And after exercises I actually feel worse and I immediately want to sleep, a lot more works for me long walks with dogs tbh. I also lose weight recently because of low appetite and I wonder if this may cause bigger fatigue.

Otherwise, thanks for advices, I will try biotin supplements and I will eat more food with protein. thx again!

No. 73674

File: 1516506830858.jpg (21.76 KB, 401x401, 1509945801576.jpg)

Sooo, I accidentally managed to stumble across one of my roommates' YouTube channels while looking up dorm inspiration. It wasn't like it was weird or anything, it's just a regular college vlog channel, but now I'm feeling a little tense about it? And idek why really? She made of one those "worst roommate experience ever"-type videos, and the gripes that she had with her old roommate were entirely reasonable (apparently, the last girl she was roomed with would leave her crusty underwear just sprawled out on the floor, leave menstrual blood on the toilet, rip her stuff off of the walls whenever she was home away for the weekend, be continuously rude, and a bunch of even grosser, weirder stuff), but now I'm like "Oh, shit. I hope she doesn't do this with me." I mean, I would never, ever intentionally do anything like that in my life. I try my best to clean up after myself. If anything, my own room might be a bit untidy, but I always try and pick up in stuff that's communally used. Now I sort of just wanna stay in my own lane. I'm probably being paranoid, but idk. I'm shy and awkward as hell, and honestly I'm not even really sure how else to interact with my roommates other than say hi or good morning in passing if we bump into each other.

ANYWAY, long-winded shit aside, how are you guys with your roomies? I'm not expecting us to be like best friends or anything (I'm only going on my second week of school starting Monday), but is it unfriendly to just keep to myself for the most part? If I'm in my room and still awake, I keep more door just slightly ajar, but if I can hear someone else around in like the kitchen or the sinks, I wait until it's free to start doing my own thing. Is that weird or should I just chill out?

No. 73725

I just moved in to my dorm Saturday and i kind of have the same concerns. My roommate was telling me about how her old roommate was actually crazy (she would let her boyfriend stay in their dorm so he can do some weird ass meditation where his soul was supposed to leave his body, she was also messy because when i moved in, the floor on my side was dirty and the chick left a old unused pad on the floor).

I'd never do shit like that, but i'm also pretty quiet. I don't know what i'm supposed to say, and I overheard her talking to her friend about me. She just said i was nice but i don't really say anything to her, so idk maybe i should try talking to her outside of saying bless you when she sneezes and other polite stuff like that.

maybe we could try inviting our roommates to drink/smoke to break the ice? I'm extra nervous because i only have male friends (girls can sense my awkwardness better).

No. 73745


Thank you anon. That really helped me get through some days where I would send out resumes and then have the rest of my day to do whatever I wanted.

I'm happy to report that I accepted a job offer at a much better location and hours. :)

No. 73787

I'm pregnant again. Fuck. I have one older kid from a previous relationship and my long term boyfriend and I had already decided to never have anymore children. It's still 5 days before my missed period, but I know first response tests are quite accurate. Anyway, I need advice for getting an abortion. My state is heavily pro-life, so the only two PP clinics here don't give out the pills.

No. 73817

if possible, take a trip out of state
go to cali
lie about your residency
get the pill
hole up in a hotel room
and deal with it

No. 73818


never ever be friends with your roommate, especially if youre in a one-bedroom dorm

chances are high that eventually you're going to get on each others nerves and if youre essential strangers to one another
when that ire does rise up, she'll likely be way more polite about it

No. 73887

Could I get some advice on gathering the courage to go see a therapist? Or, if seeing a therapist (specifically a campus therapist) is even worth it?

I'm still kind of on the fence about whether I should see a therapist or not, but for the past few years I've had a lot of internalized self-loathing that makes me feel pretty lonely and depressed on the regular. Anyway, one of my friends told me I should see a campus therapist, though I don't know if he was just saying that so he wouldn't have to listen to my emotional baggage anymore. Anyway, I'm still really hesitant about this because I'm just afraid I'll go there and they'll tell me that my problems are very commonplace and that I just need to 'fix my attitude' or give me some stupid advice like that, which won't work. I just don't want to waste my time or my emotional energy, as it takes me a lot to commit to opening up to someone.

No. 73897

I usually watch my strange addiction before going because it makes me feel better about my own issues

“At least I don’t want to become furniture…”

It makes me think that my medical provider has seen worse and I try to look presentable as if I was going to a job interview

Good luck anon

No. 73901

Please don’t think I’m a robot.

I was sexually assaulted by a pedo and now I can’t have a stable life without thinking about suicide.

If anyone is dealing with this please tell me how you do it

I’m so close to suicide

No. 73906

Remember: not every therapist will be the right one for you. If you feel like your first try with a therapist doesn't go well (you guys don't vibe), find a new one. You deserve someone who will listen to you.

No. 73907

You can get through this. You will need help, but you will get through this. Was it recent or pedo as in when you were younger? Do you have any friends or family you trust to discuss it with?

No. 73925

I’m no longer in his care

And only my bf

No. 74019

File: 1516843532570.gif (235.31 KB, 384x288, latest.gif)

Are there any Mexican/Mexican American anons here? I'm dating a half Mexican guy, he's fluent in Spanish of course, and I wanted a cute nickname for him. What are some Spanish names you'd call your boyfriend? Other than papi, I guess. Lol

No. 74020

Mex anon here! “Gordo” “Mi gordo” (fatty, my fatty) is a common pet name, I know it sounds offensive lol, is mostly used around older couples tho. The other way around “flaco” (skinny) is super common as well. “Guapo” “Bebé” “Mi amor” “Cachorrito” “Cosa sabrosa” (handsome, baby, my love, puppy, tasty thing …last one sounds weird in English lol) do the job too.

No. 74024

Gracias, sweet anon!

No. 74292

File: 1517197731268.jpeg (104.57 KB, 720x690, 820889EA-B5EA-4C89-8EDA-762ED8…)

Does anyone know how to get rid of a housemate?

>I can’t move out (imagine inflated prices the same house would be 700$ more in the current market)

>I can’t involve police/court

/he keeps being incredibly unhigenic and I can’t ask him to change or he will simply stop paying rent (he’s done it to me before)/

There is soo many other things that he has done but I feel so bad

He peed on the wall of the bathroom the shower.
Then blamed my cats (2) cats that can’t possibly go in heat and will not pee anywhere else but their designated boxes

I don’t know what to do anons

If I try to kick him out in court I will go to jail for renting the spare room.


No. 74298

Just throw his shit on the lawn and change the locks. Hes a wall-pissing neckbeard who refuses to pay rent when he feels like it..who cares?

No. 74300

tbh, your room mate sounds petty. You could go out of your way to be nice and break the ice, or even be bold enough to confront her about what you overheard; but people who over react and talk behind your back like that are bound to do it again. I wouldn't even waste my time and just go about your life. Chances are, after you move out, you'll rarely talk to each other again.

No. 74301

Tell him he has 30 days (or whatever is legally required in your jurisdiction) to pay his rent, or he has to leave. Then do >>74298

No. 74313

File: 1517227676548.jpeg (18.74 KB, 225x225, C06C7F60-FB6F-41C4-BB8C-27933C…)

He has a key I can’t throw his incel ass in the street by removing his stuff of the house because it would be illegal for me to do so (trust me I’ve looked into it)

And I’ve fought with him before he refuses to pay and just makes my bills higher by leaving lights on and totally messing up my life right now he’s paying bills (only his part of them)

I’ve debated killing myself because of the situation I’m in.

If anyone knows anything I can do

No. 74314

File: 1517227730777.jpeg (80.92 KB, 540x960, 81D6CBA8-8898-41A7-9AE8-33D3A0…)

Omg I clicked too fast sorry

If someone knows anything I can do please please help

No. 74317

He's treating you this way because he thinks he can. You've done some legal research yeah? There must be an eviction process you can follow ie giving him notice? After which changing the locks won't be illegal? Presumably since you're not supposed to be renting out your spare room, he's not got a contract or anything to claim tenancy? You need advice from someone who knows the legality in your area - are there any local advice charities? They won't shop you to the police - it'll be confidential. You have to be able to say no, you can't live here any more, and mean it, so it's less hassle for him just to find a new place. Do you have any big intimidating friends who could be in the room to support you when you tell him to go?

No. 74318

File: 1517240772218.jpeg (767.52 KB, 1125x755, F1E3BFE3-856E-4FB6-BDF7-FCC898…)

I wrote this entire thing whilst angry so I may have to word myself better sorry anons.

>be me

>have no one but your 3 housemates that you care about (a,b,c)
> dating a (who has lung issues)
> b has an annoying cat
> c keeps to himself is mostly quiet and only issues is that he won’t talk about his feelings and that he will pee on the seat and outside of the toilet
> c helped a trough a lot
> b had lever lived with c
> a has been friends with c for 11 years
> c helped me out a lot and he’s actually a really nice person just can’t stand saying his feelings and will not deal with things normally due to being in the spectrum
> last week a dismatled the toilet due to piss smell
> wall toilet seat and everything covered in piss
> a punched c because of sheer anger (only seen him like that once
> b received a message by c saying that a was stupid to punch him because he had a knife next to him
> a proceeds to bleach the bathroom and dismantle the toilet whilst inhaling a metric ton of bleach
>police gets called about the knife
> avo is placed on a due to new laws where if you punch anyone you live with you will get an avo on them by law
> a is now going to court for it and may go to jail
> c didn’t get arrested even though he had a knife and b suddenly discovered hiss entire room covered in sugar soap that he can’t clean off
>c told the police that he didn’t want the avo
police legally have to ignore c because of new laws
> I actually wouldn’t mind c at all if he was only was hygienic (literally sit or aim you fuck) and didn’t cover Bs room with sugar

I’m stuck in the middle of this

No. 74338

If he’s not a legal tenant why can’t you throw his shit out? He has no legal right to live there or keep his shit there. Put it in a storage unit and send him the bills if it’s a problem with damaging his shit.

Turn the electricity off at the breaker while he’s playing vidya, turn off the hot water every time he bathes, make it freezing cold of horribly hot. Make him fucking miserable.

Either that or you move and abandon him to his disgustingness or kill him.

How’d you end up with an illegal neckbeard renting with you anyway?

No. 74340

He’s friends with my boyfriend for 11 years

If I throw him up anyone in the lease would be in breach of contract and would end up in jail

No. 74343

Is there any way you can wait for the lease to be up and then replace him with another roommate?

No. 74346

You wouldn't exactly go to jail, but you do want to evict him properly in accordance with all laws.
Does your boyfriend agree this guy should leave?

No. 74348

If he’s not a legal tenant he has no protection or legal case against you. Idgi what exactly is happening here and how can he be a protected tenant when he’s not legally renting from you?

No. 74355

Laws are fucked where I live

He could easily go to my real estate and get us in shit (it happened to a friend in a different real estate)

My boyfriend is angry at him at supports anything I decide as he takes the relationship seriously and he’s also disgusted about the piss thing.

We both love the guy because besides the he’s not a bad person at all ever… we just had enough

I’ve genuinely haven’t seen my boyfriend this angry since we started dating… I just wish he wasn’t a complete aspie about this particular thing.

If he stopped being a cunt and fucking owned to his mistake and just stopped it I wouldn’t even fucking bother ever arguing him but I don’t know if he’s capable I mean he’s 24?

The only good thing that came out of this is that I discovered that my boyfriend is actually a really mature guy when it comes to dealing with things and he cleaned the bathroom for an hour after the other guy left piss everywhere.

I can’t move because of my dog.

I can’t cram her in a small place when she has a massive backyard here otherwise I would have packed and left myself whilst continuing to date my boyfriend.

No. 74358

Maybe let the pee thing go.

It was probably the cats tbh. Neutered or not, its more likely that an animal would just have a tantrum over their litter box not being clean enough that day than a grown man just deciding to pee on the wall for no reason.

No. 74438

File: 1517467733821.jpeg (39.67 KB, 520x520, 50557409.jpeg)

I messaged this guy online cuz I thought he was cute and turns out he's quite the sub and wants me to be his mistress.
I've never been a mistress before and I'm not even sure if I can be a good one. Help?

No. 74462

Is that something you want?

No. 74464

This. Sure, if you're curious then go for it but there's nothing fun about forcing yourself into a role for a guy's pleasure

No. 74468


We did a little something last night and I kinda liked it.

I still feel thrown off a bit because when I messaged him I just wanted to get to know the guy and now I have sub, but I'll see how things work out.

If I don't feel comfortable I'll just have to let him go. Thanks

No. 74572

so I have a crush on this guy who used to be my coworker and is 5 years older than me. I'm still in my second last year of university and I'm currently 21. We play video games together a lot and recently he asked me to get lunch with him, and I really enjoyed hanging out with him. however I'm scared he sees me only as a friend or little sister, how should I go about this? How do i gauge if he is interested in me?

No. 74587

i will never understand you anons who don't just fucking communicate with these guys. tell him you're interested, then ask him if he's interested ffs.

No. 74588

I think like most people who have crushes, I'm just scared of rejection/ the ensuing awkwardness/pity

No. 74589

File: 1517761408897.png (217.75 KB, 465x545, IMG_0157.PNG)

i'm on my friends discord server and every now and then he'll invite some girl that sent him nudes and then the girl acts like an attention whore.
this time a new girl showed up and was saying shit like "hi im here because friends name let me show him my tits" and was trying to act sexy in front of some nerds.
the server is dedicated to shitposting, nintendo games, and bad art. its just annoying when we're all having fun and then sometimes a girl will show up just to derail the conversation into her tits.
how do i tell my friend to stop adding attention whores? and how do you get one to shut up?

No. 74594

just shit on her until she leaves. if there's other people in the group that dislike girls like that, dm them and form a plan. it's probably the case that your friend is a gross beta cuck who likes that shit and doesn't care, so chances are you'll get some people wking those types.

No. 74595

If you are a girl, DM her and say that what she is doing is pathetic and you are alerting her out of sisterhood.

If you are a guy, kill yourself or die in a fire.

No. 74601


I've got a job interview for a place I am set on getting. I've done research, feel I am a great candidate for the role, have the relevant experience and they loved my application, but I always freeze up in interviews and panic!

How can I remember what to say?

No. 74604

Those girls will show up anywhere there is an audience for them. The only solution is to move to a server where she would be shunned.

Or just deal with it. They leave as soon as they get their fill of attention anyway.

No. 74614

A DM like that is even more embarrassing than the attention whore.

No. 74615

File: 1517794063215.jpg (318.91 KB, 1600x1469, 3BbX496.jpg)

Should I ask my boyfriend about a secret I recently found out which involves him?

>Some background

I'm staying with one of his cousins for a week, she casually brought up that he had two sons; I knew about the eldest who killed himself already, however he never told me he had another son. According to The cousin my bf has never been close to the living son, never contacts him etc.
It sort of changes how I perceive him, because one of the things I hate is an absent father.
But, for some reason I also just want to wait until he inevitably brings it up, I'm a pacifist and avoid drama and complications at all costs. We've been together nearly two years.
Should I let his secrets stay in the dark?

No. 74625

Mention that the cousin brought it up, but don't do it in an accusatory manner. Just let him know what the cousin said.

No. 74634

My friend has really bad breath. I noticed it a long time ago but it's got to the point where I'm struggling to face in her direction when she's talking.
Now if it was anyone else, I would just gently mention it but here's the problem - she has bad self-esteem and suffers from depression and I feel that even if I was really careful about telling her, she would feel awful and get very, very upset.
Does anyone have any advice about how I can tell her? pls help

No. 74636

IMO it would be best to tell her upfront regardless of how she takes it in the moment. It's better if it comes from a friend and from a good place than if some day she is talking to some stranger and they mention it to her.
Be gentle about it if she feels self conscious, like maybe offer her a mint or something and mention that you noticed her breath doesn't smell very fresh, that maybe she should change her toothpaste or use a different mouthwash, etc. Blame it on products instead of her so it doesn't feel as personal.
In the long run it'll be better if you tell her now and she gets upset for a few days, than living with it without noticing it and getting hit with it some day.

No. 74826

does anyone have any tips/pointers for how to give advice/be consoling? my friends will often rant to me about whatever and i always find myself trying to give them "practical" solutions to their problems when in reality, they probably want to be told something consoling, or for me to empathize with them.

i literally have no clue how to other than say "man, that sucks." i blame being raised in a rly no bullshit asian household.

No. 74879

Do you know if they have bad brushing habits or if they have asthma? Using an inhaler a lot dries out the mouth and that will make it smell.

No. 74885

as a far too empathetic and pathetic person who wishes I was more like you:
I usually find myself asking a question or two about the situation, asking what they think they should do, offering advice on that, maybe giving advice on a similar situation you have been in if there was one and you genuinely think it could help, or if there isn't, saying you can't imagine how hard it is or blah blah and just being receptive really. You can still totally be like man that sucks but make a conversation out of it with questions and stuff and it's more supportive then I guess. But I am sure your friends appreciate you listening no matter what.

No. 74897

Over the past year and a half I've developed crippling anxiety with seemingly no source. I've seen several doctors who saw nothing wrong with my blood tests and have tried six different SSRIs. When this started I was very into fitness/healthy diet and routine, but as it's gotten worse and worse I often avoid leaving the house. I miss work, doctor appointments, my good friends funeral and sometimes go without eating because the anxiety gets so bad I either don't leave the house to get groceries, or become anxious about my food (thinking it'll have some kind of parasite in it or something gross) and end up not eating. (Note: im not ana tier or anything like that)

I don't want to go back to my family doctor because she was rude and accusative the last time I was there, and they won't let me make a new appointment unless I pay a fee for missing the last one. Even then I don't see what she could do for me since none of those SSRIs have helped.

Is there some kind of vitamin deficiency or something doctors wouldn't regularly check for that could be causing this sudden intense general and social anxiety? Anyone had similar issues or found solutions?

My family doctor originally told me all I needed was proper diet/exercise, but since I was incredibly fitness/diet focused until very recently I feel like there has to be some other underlying issue causing this. Any advice appreciated, sorry if this is less belonging to this thread or something.

No. 74955

SSRIs generally don’t do fuck all for anxiety. Try finding a specialist who deals with anxiety and nerves, and don't let them give you another SSRI.

No. 75104

Sometimes just telling someone you hear how they’re feeling and you understand can be enough. Let them know you’re happy to give advice if they want it but cool if not.

No. 75105

Any electrician anons here?

I want to close off a light switch and move it to another wall. Is this easy to do or should I get a professional in?

No. 75106

File: 1518704460275.jpg (48.38 KB, 320x490, f139ea3cc37d5604d798419254a936…)

My ADHD meds combined with anxiety/depression has during the last months made me lose my appetite, and now i'm 90~lbs. I'm 5,4ft. tall and 25 years old, so this is anything but normal. I'm genuinly scared, i look absolutely fucking terrible, literal skellington level of skinny. I get terrified when i look at my body, my chest is not supposed to look like a damn facehugger. (sorry if i'm sounding body shamey, but i don't think like this about others for some reason, only myself)
I feel so fucking weak. Like i can barely hold up my own body, as if it's going to collapse any moment.

I had a huge mental breakdown a few days ago, which served as a wake up call for my subconscious to stop panicking anytime i have to take even minimal responsibility, so i've started to force myself to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. I'm also gonna weigh my food so i can be sure i get my 2k cals a day, and only eat healthy calorie/nutrient rich stuff and be real good at taking care of myself.
I've been working out as well (light jogging to and from work), but i'm afraid it's not a good idea atm, and i'm not sure if i should continue or wait until i've gained a bit? Last time i started working out i gained quite a bit of weight, but it might not be the same this time.

I'm also wondering how long it usually takes to start noticing results? I've been eating more for a couple of days now, but i'm still as shaky and cold as before. I'm not expecting any physical changes for at least a couple of months, but i would like to just… you know, feel a bit healthier.

And if anyone wants to share their weight gain stories i'm all ears, it would be very comforting to read.

No. 75109

I’ve actually done this and it’s as hard or easy as you make it.

Be prepared to give up all your friends completely. Remember that social media algorithms will give you away - if you follow/friend one person from back home they will suggest you to people on their following list, or if you list your home city/old job/ etc. It’s safer not to have it at all. Be prepared to not talk about your past, at all if you can help it, but if you need to then keep details lightly vague (don’t make a huge deal out of it and give yourself away, just don’t give them your life story). Move to a state where you’d be unlikely to go, get a job you’d be unlikely to get, and keep your name as similar to your old one as possible - it will help you acclimatise and not give yourself away by accident. Good luck anon… and I’m sorry you’re having to do this.

No. 75130

I've actually been there anon, my muscles atrophied a bit too, for one week literally all I lived off of was soup and hot chocolate and then I had a seizure one day when I choked on a bit of food. I took myself to the hospital and had a panic attack because my hands were so small and all the veins and bones were popping out, and they wanted to give me an iv but I was super scared because I thought I didn't have enough fat in my arm and somehow the needle would damage my muscle tissue. But anyway, I started taking meal replacement shakes and protein shakes and eating peanut butter more, and being a little heavy handed with things like butter or cream. Also you should look into getting vitamins, this isn't gonna be an overnight change and you may feel discouraged if you don't get the results you want right away. Good luck and I hope you can overcome this :(

No. 75131

Hey guys I'm freaking out. My university gave me some academic integrity notice because I changed the date of my given doctors note. The note I was given by my doctor missed a couple days compared to what I told her, so I changed the date that she wrote me. I deferred my exams date because I was seriously sick at the time. I'll explain why I changed the date because I was scared the note wouldn't be accepted. Now they are accusing me of forgery. While I will tell them my intention and how I fucked up, should I also let them know that my job offer is on the line and how I really NEED to pass those courses? Idk :(

No. 75132

I Had to gain weight because boring anachan but sustagen hospital formula and protein bars helped. The bars are good if you struggle to eat a lot cause they’re tiny and dense as fuck calorically/nutritionally.

No. 75133

I know this is a month old but Anonette, move to California. This January they approved a slew of confidentiality/privacy program, 'Safe at Home'.

> confidential name change (don't need to announce it in newspapers and cant be found in public records)

> confidential voter registration

> confidential mail forwarding

Look into the Safe At Home program

No. 75137

Can you get off the ADHD meds or cut them down? If not, dirty gains might be a good route. Kefir or other high-calorie liquids are good. Keep high-calorie treats in plain sight in your kitchen. Toffee is good, if you don't mind the taste. Try eating breakfast, even in liquid form, as this will help you have more of an appetite. I had a similar experience and did these things to gain weight before going off of it for other reasons and gaining 10 lbs in a few months.

No. 75138

by family members, are you talking about your mom and dad? does he know your parents? do you have a bf/gf? what does he do to stalk you (ie is it just online or RL too)?

I dont think changing your name is going to do much. I mean you can have an alter ego online, its not illegal to use a different name on the internet. unless hes able to access your legal documents by name, a name change isnt much help unless you can move somewhere else (if hes stalking you IRL).

No. 75140

I'm a solid two months out of a close to a decade abusive relationship. Mainly verbal, was strangled once. I was in counseling for the eightish month total disintegration and have had no contact for over a month. He's blocked me on a couple forms of social media when I let him know it isn't possible to be friends after the last of the finances are settled.

Long and short is that I've decided to do more for myself now that I'm on my own and try to keep pushing ahead. This includes traveling and getting in shape.

Opportunity has come up for me to travel with a friend to another state. Super good e-friend of a pretty good number of years lives out there and offered to spend a day together.

I'm gonna go for it. I feel so schoolgirlish that someone is excited to see me.

Looking for advice re:
1) How can I bail if this goes poorly?
2) how do I advance if theres chemistry?
3) i really hate my body right now and ive been working on losing weight. How do i not project my own self disappointment?

No. 75145

can't really comment on the first two but for the last: bring clothes and makeup that really make you feel good. Now is as good a time as any to treat yourself to a nice lipstick

No. 75146

Congrats on getting out of the relationship. You’re doing great!

1. As you’re traveling with another friend, could you make a plan B together? Maybe you could fake being ill. Only use the “family emergency” excuse if the situation is dire as it’s not a good lie to tell

2. Disclaimer: I’m not a female Casanova. I usually let a guy know I’m interested by touching him and seeing how he responds. I would try touching their arm when you talk to them or playfully pushing them. I feel like once the touch barrier is broken, it’s easy

3. Try not to think about it. If you’re friend is into you, they are into you, regardless of any flaws you see yourself. Try to see yourself through their eyes (and on the off chance that they’re not into you, other people are and will be. Just remember that to some people you’re hot as fuck, even if you don’t see it yourself)

Good luck!

No. 75231

File: 1519082738262.jpg (3.42 KB, 300x168, Download.jpg)

Already posted this in the vent thread, but was ignored, so here i try again…

Growing up I was a rather shy kid and the older I got, the less friends I had. I wouldn’t say I was bullied, but there were some boys who treated me shitty. I went through three different groups of friends in high school, some left school, some no longer liked me, but even the ones I called my friends never treated me very nicely.

The biggest problem was that because throughout all my life people told me “You’re so tall and thin, you’re going to be a model!” I really started to want to be one, so I starved myself. I got very skinny, but couldn’t keep it up and at nearly 16 gained the weight back.
That made me feel even uglier and disgusting than before. I always wore the same pullover, would slouch to make myself appear shorter and slimmer and I was the only girl not participating at prom because I was sure that any boy touching my ‘fat’ waist would be instantly disgusted.
Towards the end of my high school time I got together with some nicer girls, I also stopped trying as many crazy weight loss methods like before and when I graduated I felt rather happy and hopeful about what the future holds.
During that time, I started becoming obsessed with the idea of being in a band therefore didn’t really think about what to study.

My parents then forced me to get into law, which caused me to feel so depressed that I thought about suicide. They then said that if I really hate it that much and can’t see myself in that field I’m allowed to quit after a year. Since I knew that I absolutely don’t want to keep doing that, I would have been able to use that free year to better myself, lose weight in a healthy way etc. But instead I sort of became obsessed with constantly cleaning up my room. I always told myself, that after cleaning everything up, I will start over and no longer feel sad. I also started sleeping less and less, neglecting my hygiene etc.
After that year passed I tried applying for architecture, but I wasn’t good enough, so at the end I went into teaching. At the beginning I was very motivated and tried my best to wear makeup, be friendly and try and chat up some people to make friends, but somehow It didn’t work. My tall height and resting bitch face makes me not very approachable and if I’m the one doing the approaching I never know how to keep a conversation going. All the other girls around me started forming groups until I was the only one left. This over two years ago. Because I’m always feeling lonely I eat to comfort myself and now I even fall in the overweight BMI category. My grades aren’t very good, since I nearly don’t study at all. A few weeks ago, my anxiety got so bad that I could no longer go outside at all and everything I do all day long is browse the internet. I eat min one bag of chips a day, I go to bed super late, I don’t wash my hair, wear the same stuff for weeks, barely brush my teeth and nearly no longer meet up with my old friends at all.

Two weeks ago, I finished my exams and told myself that now I’m really going to try my best to keep my room and myself clean and do some sports, but I simply can’t. I do have a paper to write and upcoming exams again, but zero motivation. I’m so scared of the future, I still live at home, so no matter how lonely I’m now, at least I’ve still got my family, but later…?
Sometimes feeling so sad, makes me be not very nice to my family or in general, but I usually try to keep up a happy façade in front of them since they wouldn’t understand how bad I really feel (they also didn’t really care when I didn’t eat and got so thin).

I really need to change my life, I can’t go on like this, but I simply don’t know how… I don’t even care that my grades aren’t good or that I’ll probably never get a boyfriend, all I want is to be a normal, semi-pretty girl, with friends to hang out with.

No. 75232

File: 1519086064579.jpg (20.54 KB, 400x300, 2613414_1334591848944.12res_40…)

um, got an embarassing one

I've had scabs on my scalp for 2 years, I always, ALWAYS pick at them and can't stop. I don't know how to. As soon as they're dry they're sharp and I want to pick. How do I overcome this? anyone else deal with this?

No. 75235

It’s gonna be a process of mindfulness and active distractions while you learn to overcome the compulsion. I have a similar issue with my nail beds and it sucks.

Wearing a hat could help you start because it’s an interruption to the pattern, giving you a chance to nope out when you touch it.

No. 75242

I think it is pretty hard to make/keep female friends. There isn't really a lure for them the same way a man might be lured. For me I really value my family.
I'd love to have female friends to hang out with but having stuff in common is difficult plus nobody wants to know you if you're an indoor-dweller who doesn't want to party. I think it's fine, but yeah.
You should keep up your self-care which you said you neglected as it WILL make you feel better.

It seems like you try things and then give up or change your mind. I used to do that alot, but you will find things you are passionate about and persist in, even if those things are hard. Then, those passions may lead to positive life choices and friends with similar interests (lol, I hope for me too)

No. 75255

Ok guys, don't hate on my please.

About a month ago when I was on vacation in another country I met this super cute guy on Tinder and we eventually ended up hooking up.
He told me he really liked me and wanted to see me again, and I agreed because I was SUPER into him (like.. I didn't know sex could feel this good?). The next day I asked him to give me his number in case any of us ends up deleting tinder. He asked me for my number too and said that he wants to see me again soon and that he'd travel to see me whenever I hit him up.

We didn't really talk a lot the following weeks but I texted him around 2 weeks ago saying that I really had a great time and I would love to do that again sometime. He agreed & said we should keep in touch and that he'd visit me in my home country once he is less busy (he's been travelling the globe for the past 2 months).
He then asked me if I already had plans for this summer (we'd talked about beach vacations back when we were hanging out), to which I responded that I didn't have any yet and if he had something in mind.
As he hadn't replied in like 3 days (which isn't unusual, he is usually kinda slow with his replies) I checked my tinder this morning, just to see that our conversation is gone?! Which means that he either unmatched me or deleted his account (mid conversation)… I'm super confused right now and don't know what to do?
When we were texting he seemed super into me and I really got my hopes up that we would see each other again soon.
Should I text his number and ask him about it or does that make me seem desperate/ crazy? Like if he deleted his account he could have just told me that in advance instead of just disappearing out of nowhere?

No. 75257

Welcome to Tinder, honey.

No. 75259


I think the fact he's travelling 'n Tindering suggests he is hooking up with many many girls, probably sleeping his way across the globe. The suggestion of a holiday together went too close to actually respecting and caring about a wimmin so he unmatched you. The fact that he brought up the idea himself initially is irrelevant, you must never hold a man to his word.

(I'm sorry this happened though, shit is disappointing. I recommend reading dating screencap accounts on Instagram for better insight into the attitude they have when using said sites)

No. 75262


I do believe that he is sleeping with a lot of girls, and generally I'd be fine with that as I'm not looking for a relationship either.

I just think it's weird that he'd unmatch me even though he has already given me his number (hence making it possible for me to contact him again).
Also I don't get why he'd say things that implicate him wanting to see me again when he's not interested at all? Like when I'm not interested in a guy I'll try my best to appear as reserved as possible so he doesn't get his hopes up.

Also I absolutely hate the fact that now I'm stuck obsessing over this guy and his way of ghosting me or w/e even though I actually don't even have any feelings for him at all? I hate guys.

No. 75271

It's a bit of reverse psychology, they get off on the fact that you "want" them when you try and see wtf he's doing/want an explanation for the weird behavior.

He wasn't chatting to you very often, you definitely did everything right by playing it cool, so my advice is not to fall for the trap and just ignore him now. Don't text and ask what happened.

No. 75272

(and not because it matters what fuckboii thinks, it's just satisfying not to do what he expects you to)

No. 75275

Find something to keep your hands busy. I've also had luck putting on nail polish, which makes my fingers feel a little heavier, and makes me more mindful.

No. 75298

Do you guys think if a friend is in school for something that they're really bad at (and not improving) you should say anything? I feel some sort of moral obligation to say something even though it would be awful to take a shit on this persons dreams.

No. 75299

You should first consider what your friend is good at. And instead of telling them not to pursue their current degree, next time they complain about it, bring up some alternatives that you've thought of.

No. 75301

Maybe because I’m drunk but honestly, I have no idea what I want to do with my life and I hate my home life. I’m 26 btw.

My mom is always in a shitty mood and probably has some undiagnosed mental illness. Aunt (who’s kinda like my dad in this situation) is a major enabler and puts up with my mom bullshit and my friend’s bullshit without question (more on that later) I have a grade school friend still living with me who is a major womanchild and a fakeboi. I virtually have nothing in common with anymore. Currently taking classes at a university but don’t feel motivated at all

Only reason I’m living at home is because SF Bay Area is expensive as shit. Sometimes I feel really tempted just to leave home and become a flight attendant. Even if it’s only for a year or so. Is it worth it, anons?

No. 75302

You're right, and that's kind of why I haven't. There really isn't anything. I guess I'll just keep trying to help with what they've decided to do now.

No. 75304

When someone disappears from your friends list on discord does that mean they deleted you or that they deleted their account? I tried searching for an answer already but couldn't find anything.

No. 75314

File: 1519227768736.png (603.51 KB, 1200x630, dc8f163cff1ec64d650488b01195b7…)

I wanna travel and see new places but I don't have any friends who can afford it. Anyone who has traveled/travels alone here? Should I take those tours with guides that show you around? (Even though I wouldn't prefer to, but it's better than being completely alone I guess.)

No. 75315

Either. If you can't find their tag they either blocked you or aren't on discord anymore.

No. 75317

Text him. If he gets dodgy in his texts too, the other anons were right.

No. 75318


I'm seriously considering doing that, just so that I can move on in peace in case he ignores me again.

Should I ask him (or call him out) about the whole tinder disappearance thing or should I just send him some nonchalant follow-up text? I don't want to seem too desperate..

No. 75327

I recently bought an elliptical as a way to get cardio in while there's too much snow outside but no matter how many days I push myself on it, my knees and thighs always ache like hell even after only 5 minutes. I sometimes push myself to the point where my muscles are tensing up too because I heard that "once you get over the pain it gets easier", but all pushing through the pain does is make my leg muscles seize up.

I'm starting to get frustrated because its been near a month of 5 days a week on this thing, and I even incorporated stretches and two types of squats in my workout routine as an effort to build more muscle in my legs. It just doesn't seem like anything is helping me improve and I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. Maybe I need more vitamins or something? I have no dang clue about fitness, I just want to get back in shape after being sick for far too long and I'd like to be able to last more than 5 minutes of steady running on my elliptical to I can start enjoying cardio!

No. 75335

File: 1519256706703.jpg (43.15 KB, 624x328, livclubbers-e1467802861747.jpg)

I'm in the UK, in a uni town, graduated

Every time I see all those girls who look up to Kylie Jenner and dress the same I can't help but envy them- yes they're "basic" but they're all in tight dresses, good figures, ridiculously pretty or good at dressing up

I always got bullied by these types as I'm described as cute and nerdy but I always feel like I can never compare to them, even if they do always have to be drunk and screaming and seem a bit empty headed. Is this normal? what do I do? even when I DO try to dress up I feel alien compared to them.

pic related

No. 75341

those girls all look pretty plain in the face and average in the body anon, especially homegirl on the left. i mean they're cute but they're no beautiful genetic lottery megawinners. they probably grew up as girly girls and were never perceived as nerdy or weird, so they feel comfortable dressing feminine and trendy, whereas you grew up feeling nerdy and different, so you feel awkward and stiff wearing that kind of look, and it makes you more self conscious of your flaws, whereas with them, the style kind of glosses over their flaws. it doesn't have a lot to do with your actual physical features themselves.
if i were you i'd look for styles that are classy, feminine, sexy etc, without being uber trendy or uber girly, since that sounds like it's just not how you feel.

No. 75358

File: 1519315287305.png (152.15 KB, 700x837, tumblr_o68y4j9C331tefgdvo1.png)

Coming here from the vent thead because an anon recommended it. I suffer(ed?) from pituitary dwarfism and took human growth hormone injection everyday for years when I was a kid because it was going to fuck up my health and I almost completely stopped growing at 8years old. I still look like a middle-schooler despite the fact that the treatment worked, and people tend to make remarks about my looks all the time. I also have a hard time being taken seriously because of it, especially during job interviews and similar situations. I don't know the injections worked that well after all, and I'm also kind of starting to wonder what I would look like if I never took these injections.

Is anyone here in the same situation? Does anyone know someone with the same disorder or even has the same disorder? I don't know anyone with it and it's frustrating because I wish I could talk about it to someone who can relate. And what could help to make me look my age (in my 20s), besides makeup clothes?

No. 75376

I've done it again. Completed yet another cycle of weight loss and weight gain because I can't control myself around period time.

I spend all month working out and eating 1200 calories per day to lose weight. The days when I finally notice a change are usually within the days my pre-period bullshit starts, which means the urge to consume everything. My metabolism seems to be extremely shit because it's like I instantly gain 4lbs after a 2000 calorie day. I don't know why I give in every fucking time because I always hate myself after. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of looking like an un-lipo'd momokun.

Tips for avoiding pre-period cravings? Tips for losing stubborn belly fat in general? Tips for grabbing myself some damn willpower? lol

Unfortunately I can't just get rid of all junk in the house because my hubby lives here too and likes to snack occasionally. I tend to fall victim to the "I'm lazy and just want something to grab and snack on" mindset so any suggestions for healthier alternatives to stuff like that would be great.

No. 75378


I feel this so hard! I was doing amazing counting my calories and avoiding binge eating but after the holidays I just went crazy and messed up all my progress.

In the past when I was doing well I liked to drink fruit punch made from those 0 cal powder packets, probably not super healthy but it fills up your stomach and has a good taste. Gum is good if you want something to chew on. I also like dried seaweed as a salty snack as its only like 30 cals a packet. Fruit and veggies are an option too, you can have a ton for a relatively few calories.

Beyond that I find it helps to try and distract yourself. If I get really busy with something or fall into a movie or book I'm less likely to binge.

I've also heard good things about The Binge Code by Alison Kerr but I've never read it myself, might be worth checking out!

No. 75379

Oh thank christ I'm not alone here!

You know, 0 calories fruit punch actually sounds like a really great idea and I'm going to jot that down on my grocery list along with the dried seaweed for snack ideas. Gum I have tried but unfortunately it does nothing for me as I forget to chew it most of the time anyway which kinda just goes to show that needing to chew something isn't necessarily my problem. I think it's just the need to have that enjoyment I get when eating something good. The emotional aspect of eating. That may be why I can never fight the urges come that time of the month. I'm trying to condition myself to snack on boiled or baked veggies with seasonings instead of that one handful of crisps and whatnot. Its been a hard process because I always crave certain textures and tastes.

Mini rant aside, thanks for the suggestions! I'll look into that book as well. i need all the help I can damn well get at this point

No. 75389


Thanks anons. My flight is in the books as of yesterday and he had like a whole day planned out. I'm a dumb combo of nervous and excited.

No. 75434

How the heck do I stop overthinking literally everything? I feel like I'm missing out on so much opportunities to grow because every time I even think of doing anything my mind races with how it could go wrong, how I won't improve, how it will take too long and etc.

I'm a mediocre artist who wants so badly to improve but I'm constantly struggling from lack of motivation from overthinking. I can't even make a sketch without it alone taking 2+ hours and as someone who is wanting to get into art full time at some point, this is really not good. sketches should take like 20 minutes, not 2+ hours. I never even do anything complicated so why can't I just let loose and draw?! It's the same thing with gaming and cosplay. I love doing all of these things but I just can't enjoy them because my brain is making problems from nothing!

No. 75436

has anyone here ever caught feelings for a married man?
I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm aware nothing will ever happen but whenever we're around each other we keep catching each others eye and we have a good laugh when we speak to each other.
He's older than me by maybe 10 years so I'm worried he thinks I'm some weird girl with a childish crush (which I guess is kind of true)

No. 75438

I just started 10mg of Lexapro 2 weeks ago to deal with my severe OCD/depression, I had been putting it off for so long because I was afraid of gaining weight. I don't want to die anymore but I've noticed that it makes me SO HUNGRY, like ravenous even after I've just eaten. Any other anons on it? Does the hunger ever go away? I'm trying to drink tons of water/exercise and eat celery or carrots whenever I feel like binging, but twice this week I ate like shit and I'm terrified I'm going to get fat on this.

No. 75440

Yes and let me tell you it did not end up well. I also thought "Well nothing's going to happen, I'm not going to be that type of girl" at first but yeah, that didn't last long. If you can just keep it friendly then that's good, you're a better person than I, but be careful, and whatever you do don't get involved.

No. 75444

How do I harness anger? Tl;dr: I’m in a bad relationship and he’s fucked up again tonight. It’s a mild fuck up but it’s added to the huge pile of fuck ups and right now I’m DONE. He’s being sweet though and I’m pretty sure that by tomorrow I’ll give in again… how do I end the cycle? I need to keep the anger I have now but I don’t know how

No. 75450

What happened, anon?

No. 75454

Probably not what you wanna hear anon but I knew a girl who gained like 40 pounds on lexapro in a couple months. Perhaps see if there's an alternative you can take if this is going to be a side effect you can't deal with.

No. 75458

If you have poor self control or have dealt with any sort of disordered eating in the past I wouldn't recommend Lexapro if you don't want to gain weight. I took it for a while when I was younger and the hunger never really went away. It did help me function more like a normal person but I still felt awful since I did gain weight and I heavily based my worth on my appearance at the time.

No. 75471

Do you think you should change for people?

I'll give you an example of my frienship with two different people, let's call them Jack and Aly.
With Jack, he knows my flaws, I know his, we sometimes call each other out but it's mostly banter and joking around. If he does something, I'll get annoyed and complain, but I won't sat him up and be like "I don't like this. You need to change your behaviour, because I don't like it". I'm not his mother, as long as he doesn't do anything hurtful, whatever. I can advise him on stuff, but I won't demand. Jack's the same with me, I think, he just accepts me and my shit. It's really reassuring, having someone who won't judge you.
Then there's Aly. She's a bit different than me and Jack, she's better organized, more outgoing, put together in general. And she gets angry with me a lot. Back when I was more confrontational, our friendship was more rocky, because she would call me out, I would think she has no right to butt in and we would argue. Now I just don't care, for example she gets angry that I sometimes take hours to respond, and I'll be like yeah, that's me. I'm a lazy texter. And that cuts out the argument, because what else can we say.
But I wonder sometimes… My stance of "you either accept me as I am, or bye" can be perceived as unhealthy. Maybe it hinders my growth as a person. At the same time, I just don't care. I'm mostly comfortable with myself, I have friends who like me for who I am, why would I change for a one person who will always pick me apart either way?
I don't know. Maybe I get too angry when people try to change me. I'm very independent and the fact that someone demands I change for them and expects me to, really gets on my nerves. Maybe it's too irrational and stubborn of me, sometimes those people are not wrong.

What do you anons think?

No. 75501

I know its hard, but empathy is important. Put yourself in Aly's shoes. Why would she get angry that you take awhile to respond? Because she is looking forward to hearing from you, and probably puts thought into your feelings. (ie she will respond to you in a timely manner). It really depends on your expectations in a friendship. That friend expects to be treated as she treats you. So, if you guys are on different expectations, it may be that you just don't have the same values and cannot come to an agreement.

Its not that I'm saying you should change for people. I guess its better for people like you to stick with friends with similar values and expectations. There's not a whole lot that can be done if you feel so strongly about your independence.

No. 75502

Its easy to not gain weight even with medications as long as you control your calories. Hate this myth that antidepressants/anxiolytics/antipsychotics will make you fat 100% gonna happen.

Meds might make you feel hungrier but it’s impossible for them to cause weight gain when they don’t have hundreds and hundreds of calories.

No. 75505

Alright, so there's a new job listing that I'm pretty amped but nervous for. I've only had one other interview in my life and I really screwed the pooch on that one. I couldn't contain my nerves, blanked out on what to say on the most basic questions, and what really messed me up was that I was visibly nervous. Can anyone lend me any advice or tips so I can make this a successful pursuit?

No. 75506

>do you think you should change for other people

Sort of.

My best friendships have been ones where we push each other to be better. Not enable each other’s shitty behavior. I’d like to think in those cases I was changing because I wanted to though. I mean, I guess if I didn’t want to change, I wouldn’t have.

If you don’t intend to change on something, it’s better to just let your friend know. She’s expending unnecessary energy hoping you’ll be different. Maybe the change you could encourage in her is to get so involved in correcting other people’s behavior. If not, you need to accept she’s not willing to change just as much as you are not willing to change.

No. 75507

I used to work at a recruiting agency. We would brief our recruits with the following instruction in preparation.

-Read up on the company
-Come up with 5–10 questions in advance to ask the interviewer
-Find out the company dress code if you can and be just a little bit more formal than that (but not much)
-Show up no earlier than 10, no later than 5 min early
-Make it your goal to keep the interviewer engaged as long as possible. The longer you talk with them, the better they will remember you.

Do that, you should be good. Also it helps to frame your education and work history as a story where the position seems like the next obvious step for you.

One of our recruiters said I should try to think of an interview like a first date minus the flirting. I’m trying to get to know the person, company and position as equally as they are trying to get to know me. I’ve gotten called back on every interview since receiving that advice.

Good luck, anon!

No. 75509

Same anon here. I found a few notes from my previous interview on what I felt I could improve on.
>trouble feeling comfortable speaking
>worried about how i sound
>blank out, don't know what to say
>anxiety - cold hands, felt too self-aware at times
>body language - shifting a lot
>speaking with lots of um's

Thank you, anon! This is really helpful!

No. 75512

I'm no expert, but for me I went in with an attitude
>these are the people I'll be working with, these are my new colleagues
And just treating them like we are already colleagues, like you're not nervous on a normal work day. Wearing similar clothes to what their dress code is is good too, basically you are embodying the idea of already working there and starting your first day.

+Researching the company from a staff perspective (I.e your opinion of them as a customer shouldn't be mentioned, it's about what you can offer them as a colleague and a point of contact for customers/clients)

No. 75636

How do I get proper mental help when I don't know how to talk about what I'm struggling with? I never know what to say because I don't know how to put it into words other than "anxiety and depression". I'm 27 and have never been properly diagnosed. I'm either too busy avoiding the professionals because of the ridiculous fear I have of them or I'm in their office struggling with my words. I've stopped trying to see therapists because I can never connect with them anyway. It's embarrassing and I feel like a child. I just want a diagnosis and proper help.

No. 75643

How do you sleep? Too much/too little/broken sleep/trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep

How’s your appetite?

Does it feel hard to focus? Do you drift off into negative spirals or are you able to concentrate on a task or conversation?

What’s your motivation like?

Do you have trouble getting out of bed? Is it hard to do things like shower/brush your teeth/clean the house/do laundry or have those things fallen by the wayside?

Do you feel like you are valued/worthwhile/loved/needed/respected/accepted?

Do you have people in your life you feel comfortable discussing things like feeling suicidal or just down?

Do you feel things very intensely or do you feel kind of detached?

Does anything bring you joy or pleasure? Do you still get enjoyment from hobbies?

What does the anxiety do physically? Sweats, shakes, rapid heart beat..

All the answers are good places to start with a therapist or even just putting words to it for yourself.

No. 75675

I've been smoking and getting high on the daily, heavily for the past couple of years. I'm in my final year at uni and smoking has got worse. I ran out tonight of everything and am determined to stay off it. Does anyone have any tips? literally my hobbies and schedule were shaped by my weed addiction and i know i'll struggle trying to be normal again

No. 75682

So my skin is super sensitive to the sun.

This created horrible sun spots in my skin

How can I fix it?

No. 75683

File: 1519781632027.jpg (43.23 KB, 300x305, ek20100617wha.jpg)

Practice proper sun protection from here on out.

No. 75720

so i copied my friends assignment for this really small participation mark for class…now my professor emailed me…wat do

No. 75721

Find a job at burger king?

Open the email, admit you plagiarised, cop the consequences.

No. 75722

any idea how severe the consequence will be? can i offer to redo the assignments fuck i dont want my friends to hate me

No. 75724

How severe is plagiarism in university? Oh shit anon how do you not know?
Substantial plagiarism (a few paragraphs) is grounds for course failure and you plagiarised an entire assignment.

No. 75738

does it mean anything if the assignment is worth < 1% :(

No. 75741

In my last year of BSc studies and I struggle to finish a difficult class I previously failed a couple of times because I couldn't find proper help at the time. Now I have to somehow pass this class earlier in order to be allowed to present my final thesis/project yet I still struggle finding motivation because I was literally told by a particular prof numerous times that I am stupid and should just drop the studies (making all the money I owe after taking a loan out worthless) and that mentally fucked me up to the point where I (somewhat) loathe my degree and doubt I'll ever work with it. At this point I just want to graduate so that I could get a part time job and apply for a Master's that's easier (not a STEM field) for me. (Where I live I have possibilities of getting an MBA with a BSC in STEM.) My grades are about average to above average so I can't say I'm completely fucking stupid and should just kms but this class I'm struggling to pass kills me almost literally - been having moderate to severe panic attacks.

How do I just pull my shit together and convince myself I can finish this? (Quitting is not an option tbh because I can't afford to find a job to pay off the money so I'd rather just make actual use of the money)

TL;DR Have huge anxiety and panic attacks over a class I am forced to pass in order to graduate. Need some advice how to pull my shit together.

No. 75743

It doesn’t matter what the grade is worth it’s that now no professor can trust you to actually do your own work. Read your colleges policy on plagiarism. It will be on the website for sure.

How did you not know that you can’t plagiarise anon?

No. 75745

how do i tell a sidebitch to stop being clingy without seeming like a dick

No. 75746

Having a side chick automatically makes you a dick. You can’t not be one.

No. 75754

is the being single to "work on yourself" bullshit or? I was in a serious relationship that lasted for a couple years, but recently ended. I have never really been single for my adult life. I have been interested in another guy, but with the advice of my friend they all keep saying I need more time to myself to mature/work on myself.

Is this true or is this just koolaid? While I kind of do believe in it, I really like this person and i love the idea of monogamy and relationships.

No. 75755

It's legit. Ended a domestically violent relationship of 2 years in December and have been working really hard on myself and it's brought so much more stability and relief to my mental health. I eat a lot better and have been learning to cook, I go to the gym at least 3 times a week, I can focus on uni and work and I've been nominated as a Student Ambassador at my school as well as applying for a summer school in Switzerland later in the year. I've always let other people hold me back from myself, please please anon as someone who has realized the importance of working on yourself love yourself and try to commit some time to yourself.

No. 75756

thank you so much anon for sharing. so happy for you and your accomplishments! I'm in uni now and I think i definitely need to focus more

as for the person im interested in…i feel like time is fleeting and people dont wait around anymore tho? idk

No. 75764

Nayrt but

>I feel like time is fleeting and people don’t wait around anymore tho?

I do think that at least part of this mode of thinking is caused by… serial monogamy? I guess. I’m going through the same thing at the moment and although it’s easy to think “I really like him, that’s all there is to it”, it is deeper than that. Try to think critically about your feelings - you’re worried that he won’t wait around, what does that say about you and your expectations? Why are you so concerned about losing someone you fancy, when there will be plenty of others you’ll feel the same way about? And why do you want to pursue a relationship with someone who you think won’t wait around?

You also need to be careful re: rebounding. You said that your relationship ended recently. Even if you absolutely certain you’re not rebounding, you do need time to process your feelings before getting involved with someone else. When my first serious relationship ended I pursued another guy and I swear to god I was practically in love with him for months before realising that it was a rebound. The feelings felt so real, but they weren’t, and it was hard to accept that. A bit of time alone and learning to become comfortable with being single will make this less likely to happen.

You’re free to do whatever you want and while I’d suggest a bit of time being single before even casually dating, even if you pursue this guy, please be aware of the process you’re going through. If you want to understand it more, google is your friend. Sorry for the essay

No. 75768

ahh thanks for this. This is honestly what my friends have been telling me over and over, right down to me being called a serial monogamist.

I'm going to take it slow and have sometime to breathe for myself first.

No. 75771

File: 1519918371962.png (20.2 KB, 259x224, 11A8A164-22B4-444A-8551-2822DA…)

Here is a really stupid one but please hear me out guys

>be me.

>constantly get de ja vu.
>constantly get dreams that become true.
>live normally not actually caring to be too attached to anyone because being an orphan is eye opening.
>suddenly perfect person comes into my life
>he washes the dishes cleans the house with me evenly and works really hard
>I’m happier that I’ve ever been to the point that I finally decide to get attached and things look better
>go trough a lot with bf spend happy and bad times with him
>suddenly have a dream of me being 30 and unhappy with children because my husband died.


No. 75772

Anon I used to be a NEET with super bad posture

Deadlifts helped my posture and back a lot.

No. 75773

Marry him, get him life insurance, make sure he goes to the doctor, feed him nutritious foods, and exercise together.

No. 75783

I have around 2 months off from uni (already over 3 weeks over) and yet i've only met up with one single friend. She's a friend from high scholol and while i really like her, she always only wants to meet up for like 1-2 hours although we only live half and hour apart and just see each over every few months…
I haven't made a single friend in my 2,5 years in uni and from my old friends are barely any left; everybody moved away or simpy on.

Today i was hit with a wave of such a miserable sadness; whenever a new semester start i tell myself i'll change and find friends, but the last 5 times i wasn't successful, so what if it never gets better?
Please help me, dear anons…

No. 75784

join a club or something! even if you worry it's going to be full of cringe or something, there's probably one person you can get along with.

No. 75785

from my own experience uni isn't always the place to make friends easily… when you missed making one or two friends in the beginning it can be hard to get in touch with people cause they've already built cliques.

So my advice would be the same, to actively look for group activities you are interested in like a sports group, an arts class, cooking class or whatever your uni or town offers. it's easier to get to know people there cause most of them go there to make friends and have fun. I'm sure it won't be like this forever, I've been there too, especially in my teen years, I'm very shy and introverted and have severe trust issues and am very picky but I made a few friends over the years.

No. 75787

You happen to be German?
From my experience sports clubs and hobby clubs aren't always the best ways to make friends
Maybe you should try talking to some people in your class and ask if they wanna get lunch/dinner at the mensa, that always works for me

No. 75788

File: 1519954651737.jpg (102.98 KB, 679x800, 1284269483365.jpg)

I know 2 women who regularly smell like they just shit their pants a little. Both are slim and attractive (pic unrelated), or would be if not for the smell. What's the appropriate action here? I mean I ignore it and avoid them but that doesn't seem very compassionate.

No. 75790

My guess is they have a shit diet that makes them let out noxious farts all the time and don't wash their clothes often enough. Some types of cheap denim really soaks up smell.

Source: my brother would occasionally reek of farts when he woar dirty jeans

No. 75791


Since you say you avoid them it doesn't sound like you are close friends with them or that you are required to come in contact with them often, in which case I would say it's not really your place to say anything. Some people might think it's nicer to let these women know so they don't embarrass themselves but in my opinion it's something that should be coming from a close friend. Plus you never know, it could be some sort of medical issue?

No. 75792

I knew a girl who told me she used to smell bad and didn't know about it for a long time until someone told her.

No. 75794

I took a year off to recover from mental illness and to find out what I really wanted to do.

I haven't really found yet what I am going to do next year and my will to live hasn't been restored. I tried to work but had a bad experience and am afraid of trying to search another one (I live at my parents house so I would only need that to save money and to buy things)

I have money I saved but I feel like I can't buy anything because I haven't deserved it and I don't have any salary or money coming.

I wanted to learn a job in computers but I want to have long studies despite knowing what I want to study.

I have appointments to psychologists and help to figure out what I want to do but I feel like neither have helped me so far.

I feel stuck. How do you manage a year off ? How have you found out what you wanted to do ? Any other advices are welcomed.

No. 75797

File: 1519967460673.png (82.58 KB, 790x585, fucked.PNG)

this is my body "shape", if you could call it that because im really boxy. its awful. please tell me how i need to dress to look good or how much more weight i need to lose. i feel sloppy and ugly and i haven't had any motivation to dress up anymore because i feel like nothing looks good on me.

No. 75799

I have similar proportions to you (weight and measurements) but I'm 5 inches taller. It's not a bad shape at all, since you have a small torso and larger legs and thighs, dresses and mini-skirts+shorts look good with a well-fitted top. No loose or baggy jumpers or anything like that.
Pants/trousers should be well-fitted and black or dark denim. I don't know if you have thick or thin arms but I like quarter sleeve or longsleeves to hide the arms in photos as my arms are thicker, but day to day I don't care. I also like halternecks and lace/mesh tops to bring attention upwards.
You probably don't need to lose too much weight, maybe half a stone (7lb)
Since you're already small, weight loss is going to show more obviously on you so you don't need to lose much. You should take it as slow as possible to keep the results and make sure your body is happy, aim to lose half a stone in 6 months+, ignore any "fast" diet plans or anything of that nature as your body will not think it is a natural change and try and "fix" it for you. Just a small calorie deficit of 100 a day would make a huge difference over 6 months.

Your shape is totally normal and healthy but as it's similar to mine I thought I'd say something!

No. 75801

this is so weird for me to hear because I would never describe my torso as small at all. that feels like the largest part of me and i hate it, my stomach/gut is where i keep most of my weight, and i wear baggy jumpers and sweaters to hide it most of the time. i feel as if wearing tight tops with a skirt draws attention to my lack of waist. but i am bloated and starting my period today so that might be why i feel so extra body negative and full of self hate. maybe i need to come back to the measurements when my period is over.

7 to 10 pounds is ideally what i would love to do and itll be possible, just need to scale back on snacking.

i just get really caught up looking at girls on instagram with stick legs and perfect super tiny defined waists and i get mad because my waist has no definition, i feel super boxy. so thank you for replying and thank you for your advice.

No. 75802

Right as a freshman i overheard two girls talking about how nice it is to have found each other, since the friends you make in the beginning, are the ones for life… of course made me cry, since i was alone. And becausee of that, i also fear that it might be too late now.

I actually already joined the japanese club, but it's full of nerds. There's maybe one girl who's a bit nicer, but i don't even know her name and she's got her own friends already, so…

I always sat next to girls i thought to look friendly and tried to chat with them, but was never sucessful, so evemtually i just gave up

No. 75806

I'm in a similar situation right now, had to take a break from uni due to my depression becoming unbearable and wanted to go back next semester but I'm so scared to be overwhelmed again. I'm afraid I can't finish and everything I did after my bachelor seems so pointless. So I feel very stuck too cause for a year I haven't accomplished anything except that my depression got a little better due to taking the stress away. But on the other hand my social anxiety got worse when it comes to reaching out to any persons that I'd needed to talk to in order to get back on track. I already went through one year of therapy but it didn't do much and I don't want to try again for now. What sucks most is that I already finished most of my courses and now for some reason I'm too scared to get back and start working on my thesis. Time is running and it's freaking me out. Any advice from other anons who've had a quarter life crisis too would be appreciated.

No. 75829

I have a question regarding money.

I'm 26, I've just recently (1 month ago) move out of my parents house to live by myself (with 2 roommates tho). It's not really that common in my country to leave the house when you go to collage, you normally keep living with your family unless you are going to a different state (something way more common in the USA and other countries, not so much here). So because of that, it took me a while to leave the house.

The other reason for that was basically money.

So I have been working since 2012 - not always in the same place - and I have been in my current job for almost 2 years now. I have a degree in Advertising. My point is, right now, with 26, I'm making U$2.7k a month (my currency isn't U$, I just converted it so it would be easier to understand). I can't see myself saving enough money to buy an apartment or any other investiment. Am I doing something wrong? How much someone our age should be making? I have my degree for 1 year and a half now and I've never worked outside my area (which is a good thing, I believe). Maybe it's just a Millenial thing, to worry about not achieving the same things past generations have, but I cannot help it. I feel like I'm almost 30 with basically nothing besides a bank account.

Don't know exactly what to ask, I'm just really worried about this for the past weeks.

No. 75879

No one outright buys an apartment. You get a loan and then pay that off for the forseeable future. It's easier if you're married because you have two incomes, but depending on the cost of the apartment and the number of years it'll take to pay it off, it can actually be quite cheap.

No. 75907

I don't know what's happening to me. I've been in a panicked state since yesterday afternoon. I took it easy yesterday after I started feeling the overwhelming urge to die, and I went to sleep very early. Woke up today after about 13 hours of sleep still feeling the same, like I'm being consumed from the inside out. The only difference today is that I feel physically ill now as well. I tried eating, exercising, listening to relaxing music, laying down, reading, watching my favorite movie… nothings working. I feel sick, my mind is foggy and I really don't know what to do. I feel like my mind and body are screaming at me off in the distance if that even makes sense.

No. 75909

My body is really sensitive and I've found drinking smoothies and carbonated/bottled water helps me to feel less sick. Also I don't drink milk or eat meat but I eat cheese. I kinda treat my body like it's a fussy toddler and over time it helps with not feeling like shit.
Get some nice food and drinks and have a day where you try and have fun, play games or watch comedy movies or talk to your friends.
If you feel crappy you have to dedicate a lot of time to pampering yourself and pretty much babying yourself and it will fix over time. I hope you're feeling better today Anon

No. 75910

Trying some carbonated water right now as I get ready to call a friend for a light-hearted chat. At the very least knowing these things help someone else is keeping me grounded right now, as silly as that sounds.
Thanks for caring anon. Really, I appreciate it so fucking much right now.

No. 75913

my best friend's been getting on my nerves lately because he's been either ignoring or straight up rude to my boyfriend. the reason he feels so negative is because we broke up and got back together, and i told him some of the ways my bf hurt me. before then they got along great.

afterwards he told me he didn't want my bf to hang out at his house with us anymore, which is fine. but i found out he also made sure my bf was excluded from a weekly game session all of us played together.

what happened most recently was that my friends were throwing a party and two hours before my friend messaged me if i was thinking of taking my bf and it had a tone of "are you seriously doing this." i had already let everyone know i was, so idk why he asked last minute. my bf even canceled because he didn't want my friend to feel awkward. this pissed me enough that i told him i'm not going anymore.

i don't know what the fuck his problem is because my boyfriend hasn't done anything to him. my other friends were also there during our breakup and they are still very much friendly with my bf. if i've forgiven my bf, WHY the fuck does he have a need to be offended for me. i feel like he's trying to make me pick between him and my bf, and i know which one i would pick tbfh. if i starting acting the same way to his girlfriend, i'm sure he would see how bitchy i was being.

is there any way to fix things or should i just drop him? i don't even want to talk to him about this because in our last few serious conversations, i ended up feeling like shit and i'm fucking morally inferior to him or something.

No. 75914

Have you said the things you wrote here to your friend directly? If not, you need to try that regardless of how your other serious conversations with him went. If you tell him all this crap straight up and he still wants to act this way, then either end the friendship or go no contact for a while then see where he stands after that. I can understand him being the protective friend but you sound like you're not being hurt or getting yourself into a bad situation (at least I hope that's the case), so he clearly needs to back off.

Just a thought but I wonder if he's jealous? Like maybe he thought he had a chance with you after you first broke up with your bf?

No. 75927

It is obvious

He wants to fuck you, your bf is in the way

No. 75930

Not really looking for advice but looking to vent. My boyfriend and I just broke up yesterday, albeit amicably, and in the aftermath now, I'm realizing how much one of the things hurt me so. In the end, he said I wasn't even in his top priorities because of his inability to want to do anything unless he was forced to, like schoolwork.
I can't help but think that I wasn't good enough and that I wanted too much. What stings even more is that he said he would want to try again if we both figured out our shit when I asked him… My brain hurts and I can't really focus.

Thanks for reading anons. I'm sorry.

No. 75932

sounds rough, anon. much love though!

No. 75933

I've not told anyone in my life this before, I don't really know how to go about it.

I have a feeling that I was abused as a child but I can't properly remember it. I think if it did happen, I blacked it out.

A couple of years ago I was at a family gathering and my aunts/mom/cousin were talking about my crazy aunt who's been estranged from the family for years, and I never knew why. They said that it was because she had accused a family member of abusing her daughters, and social services got involved etc., but obviously, it turned out to be totally false.

I was completely shocked. I adore that family member, he's my whole world, so to find that out really shook me, and I went to my friend's house and cried but couldn't say why. I couldn't understand why the bitch would make something so horrible up.

And then recently, a few months ago, I started thinking about it again. I watched a film where a female character is in an abusive relationship and I took so much pity on her and knew that it was wrong, but I couldn't help thinking I wanted a relationship like that. So I did some googling and read that people who experienced trauma in their childhood often seek out unhealthy or abusive relationships because it's what they learned, or because they have a deep-rooted feeling that it's all that they deserve. And I thought huh I've never been abused, maybe it's just a kink, but then I thought about the conversation with my aunts.

And I've become really confused. The way he treated me wasn't abuse. I'm not sure if I'm just overthinking and overanalysing what was just friendly contact and conversation. I think he was just looking out for me and being loving. But what I read online said that it could constitute as abuse. But that seems so farfetched. But then, if my dad treated any child of mine that way, I wouldn't like it. I'm not sure what to do really.

No. 75935

Sending love anon. I would schedule an appointment with a trauma therapist and tell them your concerns. Therapists are not perfect but they can give you an outside perspective on situations and some comfort.

No. 75941

Thank you for your kind response 💖 I've been looking into seeing specific trauma therapists, and they are so expensive, but I think it's something I need to get peace of mind. I think it would help just talking it through with someone in a professional capacity, because I can't go to my family and I'm worried what my friends would say.

No. 75945

Intrusive thoughts are disturbing me.

I have a bear from a loved one I really adore and sleep with every night but every now and then one of my intrusives is ripping its head off or harming it. I never would and I think it's because some people in the world have and would but it really upsets me and I feel so horrible.

No. 75947

Dont judge please

Okay so little under a month ago I get talking to a guy on a dating app and we get on well. Then we chat on kik - dodgy from the get go and we met last friday for a date to see a movie it was cuddles, some kissing ect. He’s attractive and whatnot.

I finds out hes married. Hes 30 soon and im 23. I had no idea but it’s difficult because ive found out he lies a lot and when he calls me its on no caller id. I recently gets his phone number and i was curious so i googled it just to be sure and hes only under a different name and been in the army, fitness instructor all this shit. He avoids telling me about himself a lot until i found that out. He wears no ring and i dunno if hes bullshitting me or not…

He wants to meet up again Friday for another movie and wants to get us a room for “chill”. I am attracted to him and he is nice but i dunno…

He always avoids talking about his wife and he says he joined the app out of curiosity. Hmmm….

Do I continue being involved or just fuck him off?

No. 75948

No judgement; you didn't know. That said, he's not worth pursuing.

No. 75949

fuck him, absolutely no reason to get involved with someone who is shady from the get go, let alone married…

did he himself tell you he's married? If he just joined the app out of curiosity why is he kissing you? cause he's curious what cheating feels like ?

you can find another attractive dude who isn't shady OR married, anon

No. 75953

I talked to a guy on a dating site years ago, 100s of long messages and charming, but he lied about everything. His age, whether his family were in the country, where he grew up. Wouldn't give me any of his social media/claimed to have none.
He emailed me on email address x every so often. I get an email from a different address saying he "lost" my address but now he can contact me and he's coming to my city. I do some research and the addresses are aliases, both email addresses are aliases for whatever his real one was. This is going somewhere.

If someone doesn't trust YOU enough to tell you the truth, why should you trust them?

No. 75964

He's being dodgy for a reason. Don't trust him on anything. If you aren't feeling right about it then listen to your gut and run far away from the dude.

No. 75967


please help

No. 75968

The only reason why you should consider not dropping him is if you were desperate and afraid he is your only chance at getting laid. Which you are not and even then wasting your time on a pos would be a bad decision.
I know it hurts how much time you've invested, but you can do so much better. Even if you want casual sex, you can find someone trustworthy and fun.
This relationship has a huge trainwreck potential. Not worth it (also continuing to see him is letting him get away with scummy behavior).

No. 75970

Don't feel bad anon. Most people have intrusive thoughts sometimes. I don't have many but if something creeps in I sweep it away.
For me I avoid reading people talking about death or seeing things that could harm me (e.g. knives scare me and make me think I will accidentally hurt myself) I dunno if it is worst case scenario stuff cropping up. It helps to talk about it with people you trust. But yeah you have nothing to worry about, just don't do the intrusive thoughts because they are just flickers and are meaningless. It's like a biological thing

No. 75971

Look up mindfulness, and read up about it. It was a technique I used ages ago to redirect my thoughts into something else whenever an intrusive thought came in… it takes a bit off work and practice, but what doesn’t! It’s worth it and imo was very helpful. Your mind is a powerful tool, but ultimately you’re the one in control

No. 75972


Don't worry about it too much, trust that it will get better because it will. I'm sure you feel physically ill because you've got too much on your mind and your body tries to get you to rest. My bf got sick this week because he is so stressed out mentally, it's normal. It can take some days, if it gets worse you should see a doctor. But don't worry about your condition please.

No. 75973

Comparing you to schoolwork if I understand that correctly is really rude and insensitive… If he really loves you he will come back to try again. Let's hope he didn't mean it like he worded it. After he said this thing I wouldn't do the next step honestly. Focus on yourself, sort things out and don't let your selfesteem get damaged because he has issues.

No. 75976

Thank you both. I've been feeling better today.

Sorry, what I meant was that he couldn't bring up the will to do anything, which includes homework, meeting with friends, and stuff like that, not that he compared me to homework.
He also just texted me this morning asking if we could talk at "some point", whatever that means.

Hugs to both of you!

No. 75982

A few years ago I moved away from my hometown to escape an alcoholic and psychologically abusive father. My mother has since thrown him out of the house and he decided to get professional help. Because of this, I have agreed to meet him once every visit back home.

He still has a drinking problem that he does a poor job at hiding. He tells me he never drinks, but my mother informs me he has a tendency to call her while drunk. The calls are usually about me and how he believes she is purposely keeping me away from him, even though mom was the one to convince me to keep in touch with him in the first place. I also witnessed this once while visiting home. He called, mom told me to be quiet and put him on speakerphone, where I got to listen as he rambled on about me being more his than hers, talking as if he owned me and that I have said I prefer him over her. All this because mom offered to drive me to him rather than him picking me up, because he doesn't have a driver's license (which he also didn't tell me). Where I live, if you get caught being a passenger with someone without a driver's license, you risk loosing your own as well.

This time I tried to keep it a secret that I was coming home, but he found out and got mad. I eventually agreed to meet him just to make him shut up. He wanted me to visit his apartment, but I always insist we go to a coffeeshop or a restaurant since I'm uncomfortable being alone with him.

While in the restaurant today, he told me he had a surprise for me at home. He said he couldn't bring it to the restaurant, but didn't want to tell me why. I told him I had plans with a friend later and didn't have time to visit him. He insisted then that I come by another day. Not even asking, but flat out demanding that I do it, since 'you're not going to be that busy, you have time!'

When I asked if he couldn't just bring the surprise to my mom's house or at least meet me somewhere outside if he didn't want to see her, he said that wasn't possible either. The whole thing has left me really uneasy. On one hand it might just be he wants to manipulate me into spending more time with him, but something feels off. My father has never hurt me physically aside from pushing me to the floor once, but the possessive way he talks about me to my mom, and the fact that I know he's been suicidal and has some mental issues, I can't tell if I'm being paranoid or not.

I honestly just want to cut him out of my life for good, but he lives in the same town as my mom, and I'm afraid he's going to take it out on her and make her life even more difficult.

No. 75992


but why do i get them? I'd never ever harm the bear

No. 75993

It's a subconscious flicker. The same way we have dreams we wouldn't choose. Our subconscious minds explore possibilities at the conscious expense sometimes

But like dreams you can improve them by being calm, happy, well rested, well fed and dealing with any real-life issues in logical ways

No. 75994

All I can say is continue to follow your instincts and don't meet him at his house.
It could be completely fine but it's a really strange thing to try and pressure you about. He should respect and be glad you are still friendly with him.

>aside from pushing me to the floor once,

This is not ok even once and shows he can't be trusted.

No. 75996

why are there so many fuckboys out there and how do you differentiate when there's the types that act SUPER nice to you and say all the poetic romantic shit to you at the same time as the other twenty girls round their finger?

cut off a guy quickly because I only wanted to be friends and him doing this to me disgusted me, as soon as I stood up, he backed off and didn't want to be said good friend because he only ever was nice to me and pretended to be a "good friend" in hope of adding me to his roster of girls to sext.

I am beginning to doubt any single actual good men exist.

No. 75998

agreed with >>75993
It's just something that happens and honestly I don't know the true science behind it.
I get them in all forms, for me my anxiety is a big trigger - so like anon said, you can relieve them the same way you would if you were suffering bad dreams.
the wierdest ones I get are about opening my car door in the middle of driving so i OCD lock my doors the whole time and fiddle with something else if I have something available to keep my hands busy if I can't keep the thought at bay.
Maybe put the bear elsewhere while you get that thought if it's bugging you just to keep yourself at distance physically and calm your mind.
ultimately you're the one in control of your thoughts and actions. theres no need to worry, you're not alone, and you're not helpless!

No. 76000

I judge by how quick they start with the poetic romantic shit. If it's before you've even really gotten to know each other and build trust/a relationship then they're almost certainly a fuck boy (or the type of guy who becomes attached to any girl who comes along and just wants /someone/ but not necessarily /you/). I try to take my time to really get a know a guy and become exclusive before we do any sexual shit so there's much less of a chance of encountering those types.

No. 76001


why do they do this? are they sociopaths

No. 76002

Yeah. If he really doesn't let it go you could have someone wait outside for you or bring them along with you. But like >>75994 said, trust your instincts and don't go alone with him. It's a weird excuse and sounds suspicious as hell.

No. 76068

File: 1520538873251.jpg (48.41 KB, 500x375, 1511691594277.jpg)

How do I stop becoming pathetically attached to any guy who gives me the slightest bit of attention or affection?

No. 76070

Do you have low self confidence, anon? That was my issue for some time until I started to learn how to love myself.

No. 76083

Any advice on suicide methods that are the least painful yet most effective? Is it really exit bags?

No. 76090

PLEASE reach out to someone and get help. There is so much more to life than you think right now. You are worth it, don't do it please :/ no matter how bad you feel, there's a solution and it will get better

No. 76091


No. 76092

Please consider giving yourself a decent amount of time before making any steps towards death. If you know you're going to kill yourself anyway why not try to do stuff that you never did and won't ever be able to do again? You might find something worthwhile along the way, who knows.

No. 76112

I have a few friends who say they've traveled alone and loved every bit of it. They're more likely to meet new people when you are alone vs being in a group where locals are intimidated to approach you. You don't have to worry about trying to plan where everyone wants to go, its just focusing on you.

No. 76123

There's this girl I know from primary school and we were really close until high school.

She got with a guy (and she's the type to forget about her friends when she's with someone) and he insulted me for my race. It got fixed, but from this point I started to drift away from her, and I haven't told her about lots of things that happened in my life and she got upset at me for that when really I was scared she was going to judge my boyfriends and that it was hard for me to talk about my problems.

We got over it, but since then it's kind of broke.

In uni she went to her then boyfriend's town, then broke up and came back. She began to party a lot, which is fine but not something I enjoy to do. She would get mad at me for not joining most of the times even though she invited me. I used excuses at the time because she didn't understand that I didn't like that, she got mad for not being there at a party because I planned a trip with my boyfriend at the time, I got mad at her because we drifted away, yada yada.

From then we had a discussion about it but I feel like deep down it hasn't solved anything.

We see each other like every 4-6 months and I push myself to go to her nights out even though I feel uncomfortable because she has other friends that don't talk to me -even though I tried- or I invite her to have a chat at my house because it's something I can enjoy.

We haven't talked since November before my birthday, where she told me I should make a party. To not upset her (yes I have been stupid) I told her I'll look into it but never did. She told me happy birthday but I wonder if she thought less of me because of that ?

Now she's inviting me to her birthday party, after months of no contact, and I wonder why, honestly. I'll go with my boyfriend because it's not my thing and I don't want to be alone but I know they'll drink (which is fine, but I won't) and I'll might be bored.

I still want to do it because I think she still likes me enough to invite me, but I'm afraid she'll be passive aggressive with the fact that I don't hangout like she has done a few times.

I don't even know what to give her for her birthday…I planned to see her to talk before the party and make it a bit less awkward but I really don't know how I feel about this…

I know I'm being way over dramatic for such a thing but it's stressing me out, I hate parties so much but I like her. Please help ?

No. 76124

Why do you even continue being friends with her? It is absolutely normal to drift away from friends that you made at such a young age.

You didn't mention anything other than the length of the friendship that is positive about it. Friends are not supposed to make you feel bad, uncomfortable or pressure you into doing things you don't enjoy. You have no obligations to go out and party or throw a party just because she would like it.

If you don't even want to go to her party and don't know what to get her, don't go. Don't stress over it, it doesn't sound like the friendship is worth it and you don't have to waste an evening feeling uncomfortable.

If you want to continue being friends with her, maybe suggest something like taking her for brunch/dinner for her birthday. Also, be open and honest with her that you don't like parties and that if you choose not to come to hers or any others, it's nothing personal. If she's your friend, she should understand that. Just suggest other activities that you might enjoy together.

Delete Post [ ]
[Return] [Catalog]
[ Rules ] [ ot / g ] [ pt / snow ] [ meta ] [ Discord ]