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Old thread: >>44951
For anyone seeking advice about their problems or anything.
The old one hit 1200 posts, so i made a new one.
Are there any anons with excellent grades, like straight A students?
In order to get a job with the major i'm taking, i'd really need very good grades. In total i have 9 semesters and i'm in my 4. now. So far i wasn't that good.
My problem is, that i simply don't know HOW to study… I haven't really managed to find friends in uni, so study groups are not an option, also (maybe because of the reason above) i've been feeling really depressed and anxious, to the point of not being able to go to classes. It's the absolutely worst feeling, then i manage to pull myself together despite feeling really down and study, and in the end get only mediocre results.
My next tests are in about 5/6 weeks and so far i already started summarizing my notes a bit, but i don't know if this is the right approach or if it works for me… Any advice?
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>guess I'll transfer mine over here too
I always thought I was straight until I met of couple experimental girls in my middle school. I had never thought of girls in that way beforehand. Only thinking of boys made me giddy. However, flash forward to high school, I started watching lesbian porn. I started to look at girls more often and I feel nothing around boys I find attractive. I feel nothing when watching straight porn too. Did I change my sexuality? Also, how can I change it again. I can't imagine myself actually settling down with a woman. Not because of societal pressure or my parents. After I cum, I feel disgusted and feel "straight" again. I think I'm emotionally attracted to boys but sexually attracted to girls. How can I fix this?
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I know this isn't the answer you're looking for but honestly it's worked wonders for me.
Similar to your story, I began watching lesbian porn and having sexual feelings towards girls in middle/high school but never felt like I could seriously pursue girls romantically. I understand the dilemma.
Turns out I really enjoy having relationships with more "effeminate" guys (what represents femininity in males will be subjective to you). In my case, I like skinny guys (no macho bulk) with minimal facial/body hair, long hair that passes their shoulders (don't really care how they style it as long as it's attractive) and I prefer their clothing style to be a little less conventionally manly (not drag or anything, just light t-shirts and skinny jeans that won't add much bulk to their physique).
At the end of the day, personality matters the most in a relationship but whether i'm fooling around or taking things seriously I still only feel comfortable with non-manly types. I'm in a long-term straight relationship now and quite frankly my boyfriend is not at all the sjw/lgbt type you might be picturing. He's not a cucc and doesn't really care about whether he comes across as effeminate because he's comfortable with his sexuality. He still dominates in bed as I enjoy being submissive but doesn't mind switching things up like any regular couple that experiments. Ultimately, it's the best of both worlds for me. I get to cuddle with this cute, soft person during the day and still get to fulfill my biological desire for dick at night.
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I want to buy nice clothes and style myself but I don't have the money. I work hard but I'm not in college/don't know if I'll afford college and I use all of my money to pay bills and necessities. I feel really stuck in life because I can't treat myself or do anything because I have no money. I've never felt so bad and so stuck I have clothes from 8th grade and I'm 18 out of high school. Does life get better? Is there a way to make good money? Are there any jobs that I can make good money with? I'm not so bright so I don't think I'll be able to work as a doctor and whatnot so I want to know if there are any easier jobs that make enough? I don't want to be stuck like this forever
Im also 18, attending community college for the heck of it until i figure out a better game plan
I dont rlly have a job, just freelance art so all i have is 200 bucks in the bank leftover from my last commission
but i like buying accessories and clothes (may have a impulse shopping problem) as shopping therapy
So my advice is thrift shopping/garage sales, you can get so much for so cheap if you play ur cards right and look around enough>i wish i could go to more garage sales but theyr hard to locate when u can't drive
Maybe try selling some of your nicer items you never wear / I sold 90% my dresses b/c I hate wearing dresses
theres a thrift store that sells stuff for you, but i don't know if you have anything like that in ur locale
Im also going to sell a marble desk i don't use on a fb local garage sale, you go to the thrifty ppl u don't wait for them to come to you
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Has anybody gotten the feeling they should work on their posture? Nobody's ever told me to but I feel like it needs to be fixed, i just don't know how
I feel like I'm pretty straight when I'm talking to ppl who are taller than me since i have to look up a little
but i think the rest of the time my slouch creeps in
It was really silly of you to re-add this guy, but your only real options are to block this asshole on every platform you can. If need be, change your phone number. Message your friends outside of the Discord group and tell them what's going on, block and remove him from Discord too. I'm sure your friends will understand. If he's blocked everywhere you probably won't be able to see if he's trying to send friend requests to you either, just keep him out of your thoughts. He sounds super gross don't let him come between you and your boyfriend.
I hope it works out for you, anon
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My friend has pretty much stopped talking to me ever since her FWB became her boyfriend about half a year ago. We used to be pretty close, and I like to think that I helped her when she had problems, but now… She's not texting or contacting me anymore, and the few times I've tried, I feel like she seems uninterested.
Maybe I'm she didn't even think of me as a close friend and I was just overestimating my worth to her. I don't know what happened. I thought I was being understanding the first few months when she got her boyfriend - honeymoon phase, right? - but I'm feeling pretty hurt now.
I've experienced something similar as well.
I think there comes a point in time when (certain) people begin prioritizing romantic relationships over friendships. It isn't that your friendship matters less now, but that their romantic relationship matters more.
To be honest, I'm a prideful scorpio, so when people cut me off or put me on the back burner, I do the same. When I'm less bitter I just try to think of them as extended family, people who I love, but don't see or speak to that often.
I would say that if you've extended the olive branch and they haven't reciprocated it's better to leave it be. It will suck for her if she breaks up with them and finds that she's alienated everyone else.
same. let her go despite the pain. look for new friends who will treat you better. It may be a wait, and lonely, but when you find that new friend or group that you can tell really cares for you, it'll be worth it.
Don't try to rekindle a friendship with someone who so easily threw you away.
I think it's the fault of the internet and all those fakely happy people that are like CHASE UR DRIMZ #motivation. No, you don't have to find something that will be the fucking core of your existence. Do you have hobbies? Drawing, gaming? Family? Friends? Do you like nature? Then you'll be happy in life and you don't have to have some dream job to achieve it. You gotta make money and use it to do what you love. So fuck this whole "I need to find something I want to do" because you don't have to. I'm sure you already have something you like doing, and as long as you have that, it's okay. It's great if you do find your dream job, of course, but it's just not possible for everyone, and no biggie choosing WHATEVER. It's better than taking a gap year to think and then never going for higher education.
Sorry I got a bit heated, but I've seen too much of my friends wasting their lives waiting for some epiphany that did not happen. Just pick whatever seems corresponding to your abilities, skills. And go with the flow. Maybe you'll grow to like it. Or discover you DO actually like it. You can change it. You can complete uni and then do something not related with your field. And it's okay. Fuck that pressure to "choose right". Just choose.
>>63374>Fuck that pressure to "choose right". Just choose.
Agreeing with this anon, so many people get stuck in trap of needing to follow their dream as a career and always be inspired every second of the day, and it leads to people missing out on decent degrees /careers because the reality doesn't match up to it. You can always leave a job for a better one, but if you sit at home waiting for the perfect opportunity it will never come.
Most importantly is finding out what your ideals are, whether that's financial gain, that you get on with your colleagues (or are left alone if you like that) or just have a sense of security. Obviously it's great if you can makes artisan teaspoons funded by Patreon, but if you fall into something more normal there is no reason why you can't work hard and keep moving companies until you find somewhere that feels like home. So far my favorite jobs have been low income but steady with good colleagues, rather than being exciting work, helping support my colleagues and actually wanting to talk to them gave me a reason to get up in the morning. But at the same time, I have introvert friends who are happy to quietly get through the workdays in jobs they don't care about as long as it facilitates their out of hours lifestyles.
What's the best way to politely kick a person out of a meetup group? There's a person who after 2 months (5 meetups) everyone wants her to gtfo, and everyone's complaints about her are legit. however, she's the baby of the group (aka 19 while everyone else is 22-early 30s) so I also think that hanging out with us for a bit longer might make her realize to grow the fuck up?
>she's a nondenominational christian, so when we brought up religious stuff once she was rather uppity about "her kind" being more welcoming of others
>our group tries out different cafes all the time, the one time we went to a vegan-friendly place she was surprised that not all vegans and vegetarians are people with eating disorders
>mentioned reddit once as a offhand comment once and regretted it, because that how we all found out about how she's kind of obsessed with tumblr bashing, cringepics, and the like
>she yelled "YEAH I'M DOING GRANDMA STUFF, WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM" at a group of middle schoolers who just happened to be passing by, and afterwards started a rant about "basic" girls and how she hates having female friends because drama
Also a personal opinion, but one shouldn't have their main way of being social in an irl group like this be showing internet drama posts/"mainstream?"memes on their phone and then bashing it while giggling to yourself.
Luckily I didn't follow her on social media or whatever but she does have our numbers. tbh i kinda wonder if she's lowkey a female robot lmfao
Don't worry about it, just do it. Guy is probably excited as hell to get head.
Just think about it as if he was giving you oral for the first time. Obviously you'll enjoy it despite him probably not being the best at it.
she groups cosplayers, furries, and j-fashion enthusiasts as freaks and complains why people can't appreciate american culture, so I highly doubt it lol>>63437
tbh what you look like when you give head shouldn't matter if you're giving good head
Depends on genetics. Do you know where your parents store their fat?
For ex, both my parents have the body type where extra weight goes straight to the tummy area. So when I gained depression weight, it went directly to my tummy first. I did go from a B cup to a F, but it wasn't noticeable because of the tummy. When I lost the weight, I went down to a D, but they have a sag.
Weight gain, like weight loss, can't be targeted like that. Even if your parents have good fat distribution like >>63487
this anon suggested, you're still going to gain weight everywhere. It's also WAY harder to keep weight off than it is to put on (There's a science behind it but i don't remember it right now)
I have good fat distribution (Ass, tits, and hips) but that doesn't mean my arms, belly and legs aren't fat too you dig? I look better than someone who's distribution is only in the tummy (I've seen some chicken legged girls with BIG bellies, not a good look) but it's still obvious i'm fat.
You're better off getting a nice push up bra (They're cuter too) or saving up for implants if it's what you want, anon.
But it's also good to just embrace your body for how it is too. There's nothing wrong with being flat and honestly with my back problems i'd kill to be smaller in the chest (Grass is always greener).
Also if you're basically skeletal you might have too high of a metabolism to gain weight anywhere regardless. I also heard girls with this bodytype that DO gain weight eventually have a harder time getting it back off, which is even more reason not to do it imo.
If you wanna give your body more shape, try lifting weights. Girls don't get bulky without steroids but you'll get some definition so maybe it'll help you feel better about your body overall?
>>63677>(There's a science behind it but i don't remember it right now)
it's because when you gain weight, you gain new fat cells, but when you lose weight, the fat cells shrink but don't go away. Anyone feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, it's been years since I've taken a health class lol.
You make friends by talking to people and planning doing things with them.
It feels like useless advice because you've heard it before. Make an excuse to talk to someone like a hobby or an interest. If you like them, exchange numbers or something, plan to meet again or something. I've found out it's easier to get into an existing friend group than try to initiate things 1-on-1.
Um where lmfao. Like where are you going that you're meeting people with introverted hobbies?
Like do i just go to a fucking starbucks and start hitting on a girl to be my new bestie?
Please make the absolute assumption that i'm socially retarded because I kind of am. >>63703
just remember somewhere out there is a girl who'd die to have your bodytype (Like me) and it starts to help you appreciate it a little more. Focus less on what you don't have and more on what you do! Like chances are you'll probably never be fat if you don't gorge yourself in your 30s, that's pretty handy when everyone else's metabolisms are slowing down and making them fat.
Plus learning to dress to enhance your shape will help too.
I had a tiny skinny little manager at a department store once. Her favourite motto was "Everything fits with a belt." As in, is that shirt too big? Put a belt around your waist, now it's perfect. Most of the time, especially on her tiny body, it worked.
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I recently met this guy online through a game and I found out he lives in the same town as me. He's just a year older and pretty much has his life together which I respect. He's pretty much my type when it comes to appearances as well as a little extra bonus for myself. I've met up with him about two or three times and we get along well. We both talked about relationships but decided to go against it for now because I just came out of a really bad mentally abusive relationship. He invited me to come over to his place to drink because I told him I've never been drunk and I want to live a little but I'm concerned.
Not because I don't trust him but he's still a relatively new person in my life. The paranoia of being a girl being kidnapped/killed/raped at any time has been instilled in me very early in life. Should I go do it? If I wait, what seems like a good time or signal to go for moments like this? Thanks in advance, anons!!
>>63736>Not because I don't trust him but he's still a relatively new person in my life. The paranoia of being a girl being kidnapped/killed/raped at any time has been instilled in me very early in life. Should I go do it?
This is contradictory anon. If you trust him, then you know your fear is irrational right now. I'd say: id you go to his house, don't drink the first time. Let him unwind with drinks, and see how he behaves after a few. If he's still a lovely guy then that's a good sign.
Since you've never been drunk before, I would advise going for a drink at a pub. Give yourself a time limit (say from the start that you've got to be up early the next day or w/e so you'll just have a few) so you don't get carried away. I'd always recommend drinking in a public place first, rather than round the house of a guy you're not very familiar with.
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My crush keeps liking other dudes flirtin comments on my posts. I don't know why he keeps doing this. He does not even say anythin afterwards or mention it or mesage me. I never respond to them. I'm unsure if he's doing it to get my attention or take the mick because they are ugly and hitting on me. Is this even normal behaviour for guys?
Agreed! Sounds like me plans to make you drunk and vulnerable. Would be a bit different if a group of you went to a bar and drank.
Also even though you met him a few times and he seems nice don't be fooled. I met a guy a few times and he seemed so sweet. I went to stop with him for a few days, he said we would watch anime and he would treat me like a princess (I know lol am I 12?). When I got there he became abusive and rapey probably because I was basically stranded until my return ticket and I couldn't go home, tried to fight his way in to my underwear even though I told him not to. Then was horrible to me because I wouldn't sleep with him and slept the whole time I was there and didn't bother with me. When I said "you said you would treat me like a princess" he responded with "I will… during sex". At one point I was certain he was going to actually murder me and I can honestly say never ever ever EVER again will I put myself in that position ever again. Sorry for blog post but seriously always prepare for the worst thing that could possibly happen. Alcohol is definitely not advisable unless you want to possibly sleep with him???
Thank you for telling me what I need to hear.
I'm so sorry, I realized I wrote my feels when I was feeling a little sad and lonely which really took a toll on my common sense. Looking back, I definitely will force a change of plans and won't go over and push plans to drink in a public place. The reason why he pushed it to his house is because drinking out is expensive and I just come from a extremely conservative household so it couldn't be at mines. I just wasn't sure if doing what I was going to do was okay because there's people like that who just go over and drink as social activity or if my paranoia was getting the better of me. It's just better safe than sorry.
I wanted to do something that is considered fun and spontaneous but realized it could end up bad which leads me to oh my god >>63781
don't apologize for the post but I am so glad that you're safe and I truly hope you never get locked up in that kind of situation ever again. I can't help but relate because I would want to feel like a princess too. It doesn't help that I'm not in good financial standing and he's paid for everything so far when we went out which seems like a common thing to do but the guys I have dated in the past had limited income or no jobs so just paying $6 for a meal makes me feel spoiled. I'll definitely keep your story in mind and hope things just go better planned with him and I in the future. Thank you again.
He has a really big ego though. Scared if I confront him he will reject me and move on because the 'chase' is over.>>63768
Hahahaha never considered that but now that you mention it… hahaha
So sometimes this is a red flag and sometimes it's not. If you're bros, then this is a bro thing to do.
I suggest going out in public though to drink. A good first step if you haven't drank before is over some dinner. Go to buffalo wild wings or some other casual friend place if you're not looking for a relationship, get yourself some booze, and have a friend pick you up (If he suggests driving you home just tell him "They're already on their way."
Don't let paranoia keep you from hanging out with this guy but be cautious too.
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>>63819>CONFUSED “SELF-CARE” WITH “SELF-INDULGENCE” AGAIN; YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF EXPERIENCING GENUINE REFRESHMENT OR RESTORATION BUT YOU DO SPEND A LOT OF MONEY AT NAIL SALONS
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My boyfriend dresses like shit and HATES shopping for clothes, so he's basically put it up to me to buy him new ones. I want him to start dressing cuter/more fashionable, but the issue is, he's 6'4", 260 pounds (not muscular) so he wears big and tall sizes. Regular sized men's shirts are much too short for his long torso. Anyway, does anyone here know of website with nice, not totally generic, big and tall clothing? I've checked all the majir department stores. Their selection really sucks.
>>63781> met a guy a few times and he seemed so sweet. I went to stop with him for a few days, he said we would watch anime and he would treat me like a princess
You accepting an offer like this, to him, and to most men, means you want to have sex.
Once he found out you don't want to have sex, he realized you're just wasting his time, and you basically tricked him.
Pro-tip: No guy on Earth wants to be friends with you, other guys make much better friends, and they're 1000x easier to make friendships with. Any time a guy voluntarily wants to spend time with specifically you, he is competing with other men for access to your vagina.
Women are a costly thing men must struggle to gain access to, and it's getting to the point where it's just not worth it for many men. That's why a lot of men are just dropping out of society, becoming NEET, and not even attempting to get females. They have quit the game, they have quit the competition.
These NEETs do more to benefit society than people who work, why? Because more men dropping out of society will:
1) Reduce hypergamy, in other words reduce the insanely over-priced cost of pussy, and lower women's extremely entitled attitudes
2) Reduce feminism
3) Raise wages(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
Women have all the power in the world of sex, they get to select
which men get to have sex, and which men don't.
If there is a large enough decrease in available men competing for women, then women will be forced to change themselves to become more desirable to men, and one of the biggest ways they could do that is by reducing feminism.
Men are terrified of getting married, living together (common law marriage), or having children now, because women are rewarded for divorce and destroying men's entire lives.
90% of the time the state will give women custody of the children, and force the man to pay for her stealing his kids.
The man loses his wife, children, financial security, and sometimes house, all at the same time. This often happens even if the wife cheats on him, and was the reason for the divorce. He is forced by the state to pay for this demonic ex-wife's new lifestyle.
This is the nightmare scenario that guys are terrified of, they've seen it happen to many men they know in real life, it's enough to drive men to suicide/murder.
My main hopes of reducing feminism is that it will fix these marriage/divorce laws that reward women to divorce, allows them to divorce for any reason, and completely ruins the man's life and everything he worked for. It is the reason that the family structure is completely destroyed, the reason we have >50% divorce rates, and general decline in civilization.
Feelings fade with distance, if anything you'll just fall for him harder if you spend more time with him.
I had a similar situation before and the more I saw the guy the more I couldn't stop thinking about him so I decided to completely stop talking to him and eventually the feelings faded. It was difficult but it was the right choice in the end.
The unfortunate thing is you probably can't change them.
You can attempt to talk to them intervention style. Could even just have a talk about what should be private (Like pretty much everything you described) and what's okay for him to post publically (Him dressing as a girl for instance should be fine if it's nothing sexual).
It's not unusual for someone discovering themselves especially gender wise to not feel comfortable making the full leap to female pronouns and names. A few years ago, way before this dumb transtrender trend began, I was struggling with my sexuality and my perception of myself. So I began wearing men's clothes and acting more like a guy. Online i'd introduce myself as a guy or not correct people when they made the assumption that I was but offline I wasn't comfortable with that. Even though I wore men's clothes around my family and friends and all I wasn't comfortable coming out and saying "I think I might be a guy." I wasn't comfortable with them calling me a guy or using a guy's name for me.
Eventually I grew out of it as I realized I was uncomfortable with my body due to sexual abuse at a young age and developing early (Massive tits at age 11. First boyfriend only dated me for my tits). This is also the reason I doubt a lot of young transboys because they probably are experiencing similar things.
Just try talking to him anon there's nothing else you can really do besides that.
And sometimes you just end up losing a friend. That's part of life and it sucks but it's not going to be the only friend you lose in your lifetime.
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Anyone have any advice on how to get my sex drive back. Bf and I used to have sex at least once every day but now I only ever do it because I feel I need to please him. Usually can go weeks without it. It feels like a chore to me even though it's always good.
Are you me?
Try this: say yourself you will have sex in a few hours when your bf comes home.
Put some hot clothes on and doll yourself up.
Watch a sexy movie were two people have passionate sex.
Be ready for that sweet action.
But I don't know how to get that libido back all the time ;(
Maybe thats something for you:
Push him onto the bed, sit down on him and fuck his brain out. Even if you don't feel it in the first place, it will be fucking hot after a few minutes. It's even better if he struggles and say things like: 'uh oh but I have things to do.' But you will fuck him anyways.
Thank you. I also have the same issue. Only thing that's worked for me so far was putting distance between us (had to visit family for two weeks across the states) but that's starting to fizzle out.>>64707
That's rape, anon.>>64701
You can do what above anon said but just make sure you don't rape him, anon.
What the fuck are you on about anon? Nothing about the anons you quoted said anything about having sex against her bf's will. If anything she would be raping herself because she's making herself get into it.
>inb4 whatever bs you're going to spout about rape.
It's all fucking nonsense. No one is raping anyone in this scenario.
I'm in the same position right now as he has to travel away for a week for work, so I'm already feeling things improving now that I don't get to see him. Also I kind of get what >>64707
was meaning and of course you can have that kind of sex without it being rape. We have very good communication and understanding so I imagine it wouldn't come off as too forecful>>64724
I go through spells of doing it and not doing it so I'm thinking I should start making it a regular thing
>>63318>Flash forward 2 years I have a new online bf who is amazing and treats me perfect and we meet and everything is amazing. >I readd abusive guy because idk why but it was a bad decision.
Tldr: worthless slut gets bored with his good bf and goes back to the abusive guy.
You deserve all the abuse for being a retarded cunt.
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hi anon. i have issues with panic attacks, too. is your new job really stressful?
they feel the same for me, plus my hands and arms get all tingly. it feels really scary.
when i get a panic attack, i try to find a place to myself as soon as possible, like a bathroom. then, i try to take deep breaths really slowly. when you're having a panic attack, you're basically expelling all your carbon dioxide, which can make you feel horrible. by breathing in deeply and slowly, you're keeping the carbon dioxide in you. i know it can be hard to remember, but breathing slowly is really, really helpful.
good luck with everything <3
Thanks anon that helps me a little bit. Maybe I'm freaking out so much because I'm not used to it and I don't really know what to do. I'm basically staying on the stairwell in case I can't breathe no more to get help.
Do you knownif there is a special breathing method when having an anxiety attack?
you can try this breathing pattern. it's actually for insomnia, but i've found that it's really calming in other situations.
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Hey there, gals.
I have to projects due (deadline is the 30th), and I am super unmotivated to do it.
Do you have any advices on how to stay focused/discipline yourself? From meditation to apps to whatever.
I've tried prizing myself before, but it's not working anymore, like.. I guess the prizes are not that interesting to me anymore.
Start slowly if you can, so you get used to it. Wear them at home or outside for a few hours and try not to worry about it. If people ask (they usually don't, from personal exp) just say it doesn't matter, or something similar. I usually just ignore the question and people take the hint.
Bio oil is also supposed to help fade scars, in case you want to look into it.
Thank you very much! I'm definitely worried about people staring or trying to bring them up in conversation. I'm also worried about being labeled as some kind of attention whore, even by strangers because a lot of the scars aren't big - there are just a lot there. Like a "oh she clearly only wants attention, look how small/light her pathetic scars are" or something. I feel like most of them being smaller scars is going to bring more negative attention? I really psych myself out about this stuff I guess.
I'm going to try to slowly become more comfortable with it just like you said though. It's time to make a change so I can feel comfortable in my own skin 100%.
Can't speak for myself but some friends have very big scars.
They necer get asked about them maybe little kids will ask you and then you can just say something corny like "these are my battle scars"
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My coworker seems to have a liking of me and I will always catch him staring and he grins easily over
We went to his today to watch a film and ended up cuddling on his sofa, I kept dozing off and he would pull me a little tighter or stroke my arm gently or wrap his arm around me and his heartbeat kept going insanely fast, this went on for two hours at least
When I woke up he didn't know if I was or not and as i was laid on his chest he was properly stroking my hair, what does it mean when hedoes this? It was proper fingers running almost soppy
I could hear him smile and make a little happy noise too and he nozzles my head a bit
But then when I'm up he's very nervous and when we hug bye it's a quick distant one and I can't tell if he's trying to figure his emotions out
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Decided to see the therapists/counselors my school provides for "free" because it's the summer and I don't have much else to do aside from work and I've been meaning to do this for a while
I have pretty severe anxiety (actual panic attacks) and am in general just extremely apathetic and depressed. I know for a fact prescriptions help quite a lot as I borrow xanax from a friend for when it gets particularly bad (for anxiety at least), so I've made a point of not telling my therapist about my drug use/addiction. I've read on a few forums that if you admit to taking any sort of recreational drug then you are pretty much disqualified from getting anything from a psychiatrist.
It's been two sessions with the therapist and she doesn't seem to be showing any signs of sending me to a psychiatrist, so should I just tell her or is that a bad move? Drug addiction is a pretty serious problem for me as of late (mostly opiods and cough syrup when I'm on a budget), but I feel like if I can get the anxiety under control with meds then I'll have much better chances of stopping my drug use
is he a QT and are you both single? if so get it and take him out
make sure he isn't some creep though
Out of curiosity; do you use opiates to be high or to function and to feel normal?
I have GAD and I just use it to act like a normal person.
Reading this relaxed me so much lol
Anon, he's a keeper, and you two seem on a good path so don't worry, if you're into him too just go with it. He seems shy or inexperienced, so just proceed with caution. Little steps
I thought the same but also a few days ago when I asked who he likes he said he's afraid of developing romantic feelings for someone at work before he goes to uni
I'm quite sure he meant me as he was apologetic so I'm wondering if the reason he seemed a little dazed after was that he was realising he's developing feelings for me possibly?
It was cute though
Today we are on the same shift so I guess just see how he reacts or if he seems cold
Opiates are for the high for the most part, it's the way I pass the time
I use benzos to act like a semi-normal person. I know they work for me, but I'm just trying to get a prescription so I don't have to keep buying marked up/pressed pills
You shouldn't tell them you take drugs. You wouldn't have a chance to get any benzos.
I didn't get benzos when I had a complete breakdown. They even told me that they can't give it to me because of my "drug history". Only took valoron at this moment
Okay never mind, at work today he grinned at me when I came in, knowingly and we agreed to watch the sequel to last night's movie
His friend was there and he was sk determined to make sure the friend went home first as he was going to get drunk and he seemed protective of me and we cuddled again when we watched the film and then he put another on and we kept making excuses for me to stay longer
I ended up falling asleep on him again and if I tried to apologetically wake myself up he'd go shh and stroke my hair and let me sleep some more
We both woke at 4am and he walked me halfway home and seemed the same again, the walk back very quiet but he gave me a more sentimental goodbye hug
So I think you guys might be right!
Also he reminisced little things tonight and admitted how he will do things specifically for me like how if he comes in he tries to catch my eye to smile at me and get a smile out of me or the excuses he will make to come over and talk to me
It's hard to tell if he sees me as a little sister but then I'm thinking the cuddles are different
This time he gently went to hold my hand too if that's progress
I am at times yeah
I mentioned last night I felt him stroke my hair and he was worried and asked if it was okay and I said yeah I find it relaxing and he mentioned how he used to stroke his little sisters hair all the time to make her sleep
So I don't know if he meant he sees me as a sister no
He held my hand and his heart was beating fast but I don't know if he's being platonic sometimes
wow… its pretty obvious he likes you, making excuses for you stay over longer, trying to catch your eye, finding reasons to talk to you etc. tbh the sister thing just sound like something he said in passing, I'd ignore it. He sounds like a fucking qt anon go for it>>65612
go for it, worst case scenario she says no. that's it
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Hey everyone. So…I just want advice on how you deal with bad anxiety and emotional baggage/being pulled in a lot of directions. This might go better in the relationship advice thread, but it's about me, so I thought it fits here more.
I'm semi-informally secretly engaged to my bf, might announce it soon, but he lives in another country, and is really sad and sexually frustrated about it lately. He seems to feel impatient trying to find a way to see/live with me because he misses me so much. I have a lot of relationship baggage, and my first ex dumped me over feeling sad about me living far away, besides other things, as I learned later…he also went on to date my best friend, which gave me some trust issues because I thought he was into her and could cheat on me with her when we were together. I've dealt with emotionally unstable family and a fucked up partner who have both made me have issues with my sense of stability. I don't think he'd leave me unless he flew off the handle from anxiety issues, and would regret it later.
I've been dealing with my grandfather's cancer diagnosis as well, and plus my legitimately clinically crazy home life, and it's putting family pressure on me that's showing up in my relationship and close friendships and making it harder for me to work and look toward my future.
I'm having occasional issues feeling emotionally safe and secure because of my relationship and family-related emotional baggage. I've got a diagnosed anxiety disorder and am on meds. I'm a lot better than I was in the past, but I want to keep improving myself.
Any other anons have similar experiences or have gotten better who can help?
Similar experience but no idea how to get out of the horror show.
It gives me hope for myself that you are better, even if you are not there where ypu want yet.
Sorry, that I have no advice. I wish you the best.
I'm in a very similar situation. I'm considering dropping out of university so I can get a job and finally move out. It's the only solution for me at the moment.
Do you have any friends you can stay with for a while when things get heated at home? I had to leave home a couple of times and stayed with a friends for a few weeks, it definitely gave me a break from my mother's instability and also meant that she had time to calm down.
Also, if you do get into university maybe things will get a little better. You could occupy yourself with studying and join societies/clubs/whatever which would mean you would be at home less. This also helped me a little.>>65799
On what basis did you make that assumption? For my mother, who is mentally ill, something as simple as not washing a dish counts as a "fuck up" and often leads to physical punishment or verbal abuse.
Great reading comprehension, I'm clearly not the OP.
Once again, making assumptions. I can't speak for the OP but I can explain my own situation. My mother has BPD and a host of other illnesses. In public and around friends she seems normal. When she is having a good day she seems normal. When she is having a bad day any "fuck up" no matter how minuscule will set her off.
Also, abusive parents are also often a cause and aggravator of depression and other mental health issues.
jesus fucking christ, anon
what kind of monster are you
it's not your fault, anon.
abusing you has no justification. youre parents are just abusive assholes. thats everything. Guard yourself as much as you can.
and dont listen to the shithead from>>65799>>65803>>65810>>65814
I'm in a similar position, though I prefer to listen to classical compositions more than medieval ones and read books on history. And I would recommend reading earlier philosophical classics. In my case, Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (though not really a philosophical work in a strict sense) and other stoic philosophers helped me to cope with such thoughts that you described.
Life is meaningless, but that's why it ultimately doesn't matter. What you think is expected from you, what you think that matters, everyone that you know will die and that makes our mistakes and actions so meaningless in the grand scheme of things.
You should try to draw joy from certain subjects, try to find something that you like doing and try to be best at it. Forming a passion to a certain hobby or even a profession will immerse you into your own little cozy world. At least, that's what helped me. I wish I could provide you with better comforting words but I can't. I just hope you find peace as I know how tormenting a mind can be faced with the futility of it all.
If you were near me I would hug you and comfort you as much as I could. Stay strong anon!
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How do you get around lewding an underage character?
I don't want it to come off as cosplaying a child, because I ain't about that Moomoo life but I wanted to do a boudoir shoot with what wigs I have(specifically a Miku Hatsune wig).
I never viewed her as having an age but she's 16.
google "sexy miku hatsune cosplay" on google. everyone lewds her up, i say go for it.
anyway if you're still insecure about it cut some straight bangs in the miku wig and say it's Meme-chan kek
So I asked a guy out like "do you want to go for a quick drink" when we were walking home. (first time I've ever done that, always just wait until they ask me). He said "sorry I can't right now, my flatmate locked himself out so I've got to go straight home". Maybe he was genuinely busy, maybe he just isn't interested, who knows.
Dont think its a good idea to ask again, hard as it is, I guess the ball is in his court now?
Anyone asked a guy out and they didnt jump with yes? More wondering how to not feel awkward, act normal and not let it affect my confidence/self esteem?
I've been single a year, after a long term emotionally abusive relationship, which changed me from a confident outgoing girl, to thinking I was useless and wanting to kill myself. Really dont want all the hardwork I've done feeling better to be destroyed over something pretty innocuous!
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Her boyfriend decided he wanted to be her emotional tampon instead
you had nothing of value to her
there are millions of others who would do the exact same
You are expendable and replaceable
The faster you learn females don't give a fuck about you unless you're worth for something in their eyes(being their close friend :))) that they can always talk to : ))) isnt ((( : )
the better you'll feel in the long run(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
Thanks! I'll bear that in mind for when I face him in the morning. I'd like to think his excuse was genuine, but Im under no illusion he's interested. I've had guys ask me out when I've honestly been busy, I immediately say something like "not right now, how about tomorrow".
the fact he just said after "see u tomorrow!" all cheerfully like he always does, suggests he just wants to stay friends to me.
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was i in the wrong?
I lost my best friend a month ago due to a falling out, and two other subpar friends with it.
>give her less attention and time after dating incredible bf
>she angery i guess? never expresses it to me except for insinuating im rude to her at times
>i apologise to her, tell her ill work on it, and follow on my word
>shes been constantly complaining to male friend #1 in our group (group consists of me, her and 2 boys)
>on the last day of school, shit goes down
>we argue about the ethics of a depressed man who took time off work and allowed his 16y/o to pay bills which lowered her attendance. i said it was wrong, and she blasted me for being insensitive and saying "BUT U CANT GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING BLUHHH" which is obvious bullshit (no derailing). if u have a child its u have to overcome that or get on welfare. she doesnt have depression and i do so its nice to see shes arguing with me about my own illness
>she walks out of the last day school assembly, idk why, maybe cus of previous strop
>male friend #2 is waiting in a room while male friend #1 is searching for her, we're waiting for her to get over herself so we can enjoy the last day
>we all reunite and hang out
>she goes off in a strop again and then male friend #1 starts telling me im a terrible friend to her
>"mate, you've been manipulated"
>cant comprehend, takes it as an insult to his mighty intelligence, flips shit, cusses me out and tells me to leave
> i leave
in the evening
>i get a message from her sister saying hi
>dont wanna b rude so im like hey
>we start talking abt relationships and then she suddenly lays into me
>admits she hacked into my facebook and read all my messages with people to find out i , shockingly, wasnt happy with her behaviour
>i believe its her using her sisters' fb at this point, or team effort at least
>what the fuck.jpg
>she starts claiming her strop earlier was a ''panic attack' and that i neglected her and it was my fault blah blah
>i block both sisters on all social media and unfriend male friend #1, havent spoken to male friend #2 since either
>change facebook password
this happened 2 months ago. i messaged said friend just now saying hi, can we talk.
her reply is >no stop messaging me
kek because she was the one who betrayed me and manipulated my friends against me by exploiting their empathy and appealing to emotions. lmao boys are gullible as shit
>i texted her just now saying "okay" even though i wanted to say "u betrayed me, but okay"
Was i in the wrong? should i have followed her when she went off in a strop? (she went to bin something, so we assumed she was doing that so how could we have known?)
there was nothing i could have done to have changed the outcome of this situation. she didnt wanna be friends, and she didnt want me in the friend group and had been anticipating the split for a while.
can i just say id been an incredible friends, always been ther ewhen she cried, stayed up to talk to her, got her food some days, idk how i could have been a better friend.
uh… were u in high school just a month ago? the whole thing sounds petty as shit.
your friend is a retard who doesn't know how to communicate with you for what she wishes and how to resolve the problem which is important in any type of relationship. the facebook thing is just ridiculously immature and nuts and i doubt she really cared for you if she had her sister fuck with your online account. that's not a normal way to end it at all. she's got major emotional issues and whatever was going on with her little tantrum, was not your problem. how can you know what shes thinking if she doesnt tell you.
not only is her behavior out of wack, but after the facebook thing, i wouldn't even try making up with her or talking to her ever again. she sounds like a terrible person overall who needs time to work out her issues and sometimes, that never happens for people no matter how old they become.
Thanks for reading and replying.
Seems pretty spot on, not gonna argue with that.
When I finally calmed down (took me two months) after the betrayal and reached out, she immediately dismissed me which was so hypocritical since she was the one who did me dirty, not the other way round. So you're right about not talking to her ever again. Fuckin crazy shit. Shame, we had such an incredible friendship, we were basically soulmates. </3
Well, like someone else said in the thread you made, you guy's would've most likely separated eventually anyway since you guys are just school friends. And no matter how much you get along with someone and how long, there's no guarantee of anything. Last year I split up with the only person I've ever cared about and known for a decade over a petty fight.
And not to get all spiritual or whatever, but a soulmate will only stick around for so long. If you happen to find your twin flame, that shit is forever which I believe only really lucky people will find.
All those "kek" make me think you never really cared about your friend. How easily and quickly you became bitchy confirms it. Not saying she wasn't petty and acted shirty, but you were quite the asshole too
The icing on the shitcake is definitely how you're trying to be logical about someone's feelings and acting pissed about their not being logical. How socially retarded are you?
your friend was an asshole, but you're probably an asshole too.
find other friends
Yes, my school does semesters and it's possible to take it during the spring since I'm mostly free by that point.
I'm just worried about this bringing my GPA down when I worked so hard to bring it back up from the previous summer (I failed accounting at that time) and if failing the second time will interfere with my graduation. Other than that, I've passed all of my classes for the year.
How many other classes did you take? It won't be as bad if you had like 4 other classes to cushion yourself, but your GPA will unfortunately go down.
If you pass the class the second time around you wont have to worry about it interfering with anything.
I'm currently taking three this summer and I've almost completed taking 16 (15 if you count taking the previously failed class twice and passed) classes in total as of today, will be taking four this fall and will be taking one or two classes in the spring; assuming
if I passed this one with barely a D (I've been told).
Believe it or not intrusive thoughts are really normal. Ever have oneof the fucked up ones where you're driving and you suddenly imagine just ramming into oncoming traffic or turning off a bridge despite the fact you'd never do it? It's apparently really common, I don't think theres a way to turn it off.
Turn it into a joke instead if it'sonly annoying.
i really want to killmyself. i spent 99% of time alone. i have no friends. i haven't made a friend in about three/four years. i don't have a real relationship with my family. i'm alone all fucking day long.
i was abused by one of my sibling while growing up + i have a lazy eye = i never developed any real social skills. i'm completely unable to talk to new people. my new semester in college started recentley and i thought things would be better (since i've lost like 30 lbs and it did wonders to my self esteem). things are the fucking same. i'm just as miserable as last semester. i'll never bond with anyone ever. there is no point in continuing living.
i don't know what to do. since i don't really know anyone, i can't just buy drugs and end it. where i live they don't sell guns either. my only real possibilities are to hang myself or bleed to death, and i still haven't figured out the quirks for those things yet. i'm pretty fucking stupid, so i don't want to fuck it up and end up in a hospital. i just don't care, man. i'm a failure. i need to end this. i serve no purpose in this society. i can't stand being alive. i thought that the diets and the exercise and trying to meet new people would help. but it feels like i've jut wasted the past year or so. it all means nothing. i'm just as miserable and alone now. i can't stand it. >>66413>>66421
it's l'appel du vide and its a universal thing http://pimediaonline.co.uk/science-tech/lappel-du-vide-the-call-of-the-void/
"Standing at the top of the Eiffel tower on a beautiful, sunny day in Paris, my first thought was ‘I could jump’. Not ‘What a stunning view of a culturally rich metropolis’ or ‘I wonder what the City of Light looks like at nighttime’, but ‘I could jump off of this tower in just one leap’, and I wondered why." they happen to everyone. if the rest of your day you're happy and you don't actually plan on commiting suicide, its meaningless tbh.
Where have you tried making friends? There are usually some meet ups on reddit, meet up .com and etc. it's worth using them to practice. A lot of the times people don't care about what you say, but talking in a positive energetic manner makes everything more interesting, even if what youresaying is horseshit. It's hard to talk in that manner if you're bitter though..
You could also try to see normie things like movies and perhaps games or thrones and general popular things, it gives you something general to talk about that people will generally know.
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Pierced anons, what are some good websites for buying jewelry? I found a bunch on Google obviously, but who knows what their quality is like.
i really love https://store.painfulpleasures.com/
the site layout and searching is a bit nightmarish, but theyre very reasonable priced for basic metal and acrylic jewelry. great for replacement balls and barbells in weird lengths. i have snakebites that i have to take in and out on a daily basis for work, so i love that they have a ring that's a screw-on ball on one side and flat ended on the other so it can just be twisted out easily with no screwing/unscrewing
Might be because of stress, a cyst, you don't eat enough or are just too skinny. Maybe everything together.
I hadn't my period for half a year, everything is fine now.
Friend didn't get her period for a year because she had to take hard pain killers, but now she is fine.
Another friend didn't get her period for two month because of a cyst.
So I think it's not too bad, but you should go to a gyn, I don't think that one appointment would destroy your new life.
I'm currently doing an internship of six months. When I started they said that the aim was to hire me. They generally seem to be loyal to their workers, no one I that know of was fired and everyone who left did so because they found better opportunities.
So now I only have two months to go, and I really hope to be hired. It seems still a bit too early to ask them or to hope for any news at all, but do you have any tips on how to give the most in the remaining time, or how to tell if they intend to keep me or not? I really like this job and I wish to keep it. I'm working so hard and I'm a bit anxious about it - especially because I've had a mojor health setback and I was on health leave for over a month (it was a really serious thing though, I'm prerry much lucky to have survived and with no damage, and the higher ups are aware of this). I work in a junior position in an office, but I have a decent degree of responsiblity, I manage my own projects and clients.
Any tip/help/your experience would be appreciated!
(Anyway, I will start to send out new applications next month, I've already planned this)
Math/cs major here, though I'm still pretty newbie but I have some tips I accumulated from my more experienced friends.
Before you dive into code, decide on what you want to work on. Web apps? General software? Mobile? From that, decide on the most compatible language and frameworks for your desired path.
1. Projects projects projects! I really can't enunciate that enough. My friends have gotten jobs at Google/FB/Microsoft etc by having GOOD projects. Good being either widely used, complex but simple to read code etc.
2. Try doing open source projects. There are so many to choose from. It does seem diffcult to start.
3. Learn algorithms and data structures. All technical interviews ask these questions to see how you think and apply the best method for a problem. Everyone I know recommend the Cracking the Code book by Gail… something.
I have some coding experience but I'm still pretty noobie at it. I'll be taking my own advice though ha.
Good luck, anon!
not asking for much advice here(theres nothing to do), more of just wanting to hear a second opinion on something. i want to hear some thoughts, and if you would say something if you were on my situation.
>brother and i have "weird" relationship, where we sleep in same bed and were close friends. we are close to each other but no one else in the family.
>long story short, brother rapes me and i never tell anyone in the family.
>what happened fucked me up. never developed correctly in an emotional level. only time i've talked about it was during a mental breakdown.
>get older. try to move on. still close to brother.
>brother has anger issues, the same that dad used to have. we've gotten into heated arguments where he has hurt me. he'll always wait a day or two before apologizing and everything gets back to normal.
>in spite of all that stuff, we are still super close.
anyway, now to the actual thing that i wanted to talk about lol
>brother recommends me to watch some tv show. he seems to be obsessed with the show, owns the book, the series dvd, the movie.
>start watching it recently.
>the show has a subplot line where a mother was raped by her older silbing. she explains that she lived in an abusive home. her older brother took advantage of her and got her knocked up. she even has a baby. lots of scenes of the woman screaming "HE RAPED ME!" while crying. she also got raped by a different guy on the first episode. i haven't finished it yet. stopped watching when the rapist brother tell his son how he loved her.
>all these god awful memories came back. feeling super freaked out now that i know he's been watching this show and loving it. theres tons of incest shit in it. tons of rape talk. it makes me feel so anxious. i have no fucking idea why my brother would recommend me to watch this shit. its super creepy considering…well, you know.
not sure how i feel about this. he's not violent towards me anymore. all that bad stuff happened years ago. but still like… do you think that's normal? like he's just recommending it cause its good and that it? am i paranoid for thinking this shit is creepy as hell? its bates motel, based on psycho. would you be freaked out?? would you say anything about it? none of my friends know about what happened so i have no one else to ask :(
pic related my reaction a few days ago watching the first episode and seeing the mother get raped. and theeen, confess to getting raped by his brother too in later episodes. almost had a heart attack with that shit.
I'm like 98% sure your brother is a full blown psychopath and you need to cut him out of your life as soon as humanly possible.
>not sure how i feel about this. he's not violent towards me anymore. all that bad stuff happened years ago. but still like… do you think that's normal? like he's just recommending it cause its good and that it? am i paranoid for thinking this shit is creepy as hell? its bates motel, based on psycho. would you be freaked out?? would you say anything about it? none of my friends know about what happened so i have no one else to ask :(
Does really it matter what his intentions are? He fucking RAPED you, has never apologized for it, and still has anger issues to this day.
He's dangerous for you, anon. Run far the fuck away.
Not really, the market is oversaturated and most top girls are scamming their way there - paying random dudes to tip huge amounts to get to the top.
If you're willing to take your clothes off for money, just be a stripper. Not only is it a hell of lot more money but it's pretty damn anonymous if you dance far away enough and get a wig or something. It's more intimidating for sure, but that's why they make money.
The way I handled this, personally, was to just let myself feel the feelings. How you feel about something isn't true or false, right? It's just kind of how you feel. Instead of trying to push it back like "this is a stupid thing to think about and I am above this", give yourself some time to process it entirely. The idea that a perfect person should brush off all things and love everyone, even the person who was a dick, is kind of a dumb societal idea. I'm not quite to the point where I never care, but I can sort of quick-run all my anger for someone who just rear-ended me into "I would hold your eyes open as your children killed themselves in front of you, cursing you for having given them life, and then I would skin you alive". I know how it sounds, yeah, mega batshit insane, but I haven't been angry at someone for more than the few seconds it takes to think that sentence. I have never laid awake at night thinking about past assholes.
your mileage may vary everyone has a balance they have to find pls no FBI
"I feel unloved" "Well that's a shame sweet-tits but it's that time of the day to play League of Legends"
What are you waiting for? This isn't going to get better. Being alone would feel better and be less work. You could cultivate interesting habits alone and save the energy from nurturing a manchild. There will be many people in your life that you love, and some of them will have the emotional range of a teaspoon with a leak. Love isn't a one-time event. Shit, love is actually pretty common.
Practically speaking, if you're not on the lease or paying the utilities, then there's no reason to tolerate this. I mean, people divorce over this exact shit all the time. Maybe he loves you too, just as much, but emotionally unavailable love without respect is worth less than nothing.
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Anyone got any advice for getting rid of a cyst? I have one in pic related area. It came up last year and kept getting infected, but went away after a few months. It's back now, came up yesterday, and the pain is really terrible. My doctor gave me heavy antibiotics last time, but they didn't work. I don't have insurance for surgery so…
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I'm thinking about hiring an online fitness coach, but the deadline to sign up is TONIGHT. The thing is though is that its around $300 a month. Is it worth it?
I've been trying for years to lose weight but I'm failing hard every year. Plus I've emailed the coach back and forth and he's laid out everything for me, its just a matter of myself going through with it. And the cost kinda scares me. I only have several hours to sign up. Should I go through with it or find other options?
Is there a limit on the sessions per week? Or can you just book him whenever you want? Honestly you'd really only need like 1-5 sessions then you can plan your own stuff but if you need someone to motivate you it could be worth it. Where I'm from PTs can get from $30-70 per hour.
By the way exercise helps minorly in weight loss it's all about what you're eating. Are you drinking soda? Having too much snacks? You don't need to cut "bad stuff" completely but just limit it. My Fitness Pal can let you know how many calories/kj a day, you might be shocked.
Check out YouTube if you need any help with any of your exercises, good luck!
Oh and before and after pictures can also help motivate you. Personally, I am someone who gives up quite easily if "nothing happens". If you're like me, instead try checking the scales perhaps once a fortnight instead of everyday.
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So alot or stress in my life came up and travel too and for the last few months I stopped going to gym and have comfort ate a lot more unhealthily
My work shifts are also lethal and I need to get into meal planning and cooking batches.
What are some ways to get myself back into the swing instead of pushing it and always saying I will do it tomorrow etc then falling back in?
Thanks! I will def check MyFitnessPal. I'm sure I'm not overeating but I don't feel like eating less than 1000 cals per day because I know long term it won't be sustainable.>>68363
Btw could you share your workout or any resources that you use? I've been following an old Cindy Crawford's training video (which is great) but I'm looking to diversify my workout.
i try multitasking, so it doesn't feel like i'm wasting more time on it. when you're in the kitchen doing something that takes a half an hour just make yourself a big greek salad for the next days shift. i also get motivation by cooking something really delicious and then make a huge fucking batch >>68402
when someone is being rude to you just stand up for yourself right there on the spot
well, you know that's stupid because it's a lottery with what kind of kids you will end up in class. bonding with someone over something you love is much easier and also a lot more meaningful than bonding over classes (unless you're really passionate and academic and wish to find similar people, then it's the right place to start). people that only made friends in school often try to shake them off later on in life, or just end up estranged as soon as school ends
i get it that you don't want to be alone in class and i think it's hard to come up to someone for the first time. it puts you in a difficult position (because they didn't come up to you first). you could come off desperate easily. if you really want to befriend someone in class, i'd advise you to come up with a strategy. you need to find a reason to walk up to someone and you need to pile up all your normie interests and be prepared to talk about them. even if you fake it til you make it
Hate to be that bitch but you know pulling out isn't the most reliable of methods. There are too many variables you can't control. I'm married and we still use condoms when I'm not on birth control.
Painful tits are a very common symptom of early pregnancy.
Just how fucking dumb you have to be to use this method in 2017 with all the options available for actual protected sex.
If you are pregnant, you deserve it, holy shit, you dumb bitch.
>>68603>I can't take care of a kid, I've only been capable of child birth for over a decade
You realize that physically being able to birth a child doesn't necessarily mean you have the means to take care of it after it's born right? I mean are you the same type that looks down on mothers that get benefits from the government? Because anon could be working full-time minimum wage living in a shitty apartment in an area with shitty schools and shitty daycares that she will have to put her children in because she needs to earn money to provide for them.
Part of the reason why a lot of women are waiting until "they're 35" isn't feminism, dumbass. It's because we're fucking BROKE and struggling. It would be irresponsible to bring a child into a situation like that.
>>68604>are you the same type that looks down on mothers that get benefits from the government?
Not if they're white, with white children. I do look down on mothers that divorce and collect alimony/child-support though.
Honestly, you're right. I hate living in a capitalist society where the only thing that matters is money. I hate that there is women killing their own children because they don't have enough money to afford them, they're still in the wrong though, I would never kill my child no matter how poor I was. Women are materialistic and shallow though, all they care about is money.
I hate that it has turned all adult women into literal whores, and turned all adult relationships into prostitution, because no matter how attractive or how good of a personality a guy has, if he doesn't (and won't) provide money, then literally over 99% of women won't date him.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
>>68605> Women are materialistic and shallow though, all they care about is money.
Not that I should even dignify this with a response, but wanting to be able to provide for your child is not materialistic or shallow. It is responsible and mature, and it's something more people need to be concerned about when they are thinking about having children or even putting themselves in a situation where they may end up pregnant.
Take a break from /pol/ and MRA blogs and calm down. Incessant complaining about women is obnoxious and unproductive. If you have a problem with women, relationships with them are easy to avoid. Problem solved for you.
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upset farmer here
my boyfriend and me have been together a while and both his parents who are divorced have only met me once
we got together when he had a lot of problems with honesty and he would lie nearly every day but it's getting better, however because parents are usually biased, they'd only ever see his side and blame me for his getting upset even though his issues stemmed from before we even met and the lying was something he depended on in social circumstances
his dad is friendly and very laddy, always makes sexual remarks about women and is a bit smug at times and the first comment he ever had about me was because I have big breasts they're a waste because personally that's his taste. Obviously boyfriend didn't care because it's his taste and choice not his dad's
but when he's saying to my boyfriend about how the woman he's dating has a cute coworker and how he should set them up and condescending shit like that I feel awful. Obviously my bf is honest about it and I appreciate that, its's just how do I get his dad to actually accept me and stop making remarks?
I come from a terribly abusive background so I've never introuced the bf to my family as my mother is controlling and a sociopath and would honestly ruin him if she could, and the first thing his dad says is how it's because I must be ashamed of my bf
i hate these assumptions and I wish they'd stop. Bf's mum left him and said he was too immature and he's had several women dump him so I don't know if maybe he actually is a bit offensive to women or has a childish mindset but I feel like he doesn't see me as attractive enough for his son even though his son is mad about me and he's just always saying shit like this
We've met once and seemed to get on fine. He seems to think I'm a horrible ugly bitch who isn't good enough and even though my bf has anger and lying issues the minute anyone sees him upset it gets assumed that I must have caused it and that there's no way maybe their son has flaws and issues he's working on too.
we are both working hard. I don't understand.
we're fixing our issues but it feels like the dad is in a hurry for him to get rid of me.
It affects me and makes me want to starve and cake my face in makeup and be all airheaded just so I get approved
How am I meant to be in a longterm when the family don't apprve? it upsets me enough I can never really depend on my own family to support us.
Does you boyfriend stick up for you when his father says this shit? Is he aware of the extent of it and how you feel about it? I don't want to speak badly about your boyfriend but that would be a red flag for me if he just laughs along when his father says stuff and just lets it slide.
If he isn't aware, maybe bring the subject up to him. Honestly if my parents said similar things about and to my boyfriend, I would be just as upset as he would be and I'd want to have a talk with them. I think that's your best bet is to have your boyfriend discuss it with his dad. I think it wouldn't go well if you personally brought it up with his dad.
Whatever you do, don't change yourself for some old misogynist asshole just to get his approval. Don't starve yourself or dumb yourself down for him. You obviously love and care for his son, you sound like a positive influence and a good partner to him, so if his dad still has an issue with you that's his fucking problem.
But personally, if your boyfriend is ok with all this I think that's the biggest issue. Good luck anon. And one last time, just know that the issue is with the father and not with you. Don't try to mold yourself to be "worthy" of his approval because with those types of people, it's never enough. They will always find something else.
My boyfriend shrugs off his dad's comments and rejects them because he disagrees, he'll say I'm gorgeous and enough to his dad and he also stuck up for me when his dad said the shame comment by saying it wasn't that
thank you, honestly it's just upsetting. I don't know how to change the dad's opinion but it does make him look like a misogynist pig. He was saying to my bf about attraction as if he has none towards me even though when we're intimate he seems really into me.
Can I still have a good relationship with my bf if his family are always going to be this way?
>>68617>Can I still have a good relationship with my bf if his family are always going to be this way?
If you want my random internet person opinion - yes, but it will be difficult. If you love your boyfriend and he loves you, then I would say don't let his piece of shit dad get in the way of that. Unfortunately his dad is his dad and he will always be present in your boyfriend's life, and therefore in yours as well. Like I said in my og response, you can't change people like that unfortunately. His father is probably set in his ways.
You can take comfort in the fact that both you and your boyfriend know what his dad says about it you is uncalled for and complete bullshit. Your boyfriend thinks that you are good enough for him - don't let his father make you think that you aren't. It isn't his relationship, it's yours and his sons. I haven't been in a situation like this so I don't mean to act like a know it all or come off as rude, but your post made me sad because your boyfriend's dad reminds me of my dad. The most I can say is that everytime he says some nonsense like that to you, ignore it and remind yourself of who it's coming from. It's no reflection on you because from what it sounds like, he has hardly even taken the time to get to know you. Maybe his dad will come around, maybe he won't. But his behavior is a reflection of him, not you or your worth.
hey, thank you. I think you're right. I don't like when he pushes it onto my bf though, he can talk shit about me but trying to set him up with other girls is just beyond disrespectful, even suggesting it to my bf was disgusting.
I will never understand perverted old farts, ever. I just want a happy relationship with my bf and despite our troubles I really do think the world of him and want this to work out
So much this. My bfs mom and sister dragged me into their drama a couple of times over the years. I kept doing them favors and kept letting them drain me with their bullshit. Then one day I didn't oblige and they both started insulting me and projecting massively
Now I just avoid them whenever the fuck I can
That's the thing anon, i realize it and i do put a lot of effort into what i'm doing. It angers me when i'm doing my best yet i fail to br the best.
I'm afraid i may have NPD as too many symptoms match perfectly.
Don't self-diagnose, it's cringey.
It's a very common thing to feel, but eventually you'll grow up and/or realise that some of those people can probably afford to put a lot more effort into whatever it is they're better at, or like it more than you do. Very few things in this world require heaps of raw talent, even though it helps a bit in the beginning.
Small towns are small for a reason, they don't have many jobs. Unless you're rolling in it, you wouldn't be able to afford living in or around the Sydney CBD even if you wanted to. The most realistic option is the outer suburbs, but they might be the sort of place you're trying to avoid in the first place. You can use seek.com.au to get an idea of what jobs are out there.
Can't really help with the social side of things though, if you're good at making friends then you'll make them anywhere. If you need to join classes, clubs etc to meet people then the closer to the city the more opportunities there are for that.
i'm an american living in australia in a smaller town around 20k people. so not hugely small, but smaller, within driving distance of bigger areas.
i've found it really easy socially, much easier than cities even, but be careful what you do/say because things do get around in towns, everybody knows everyone…
i don't think you'll have much of an issue finding a job, i've never found it a problem.
can i ask how you intend on coming over? like what visa? day care worker isn't a job that qualifies you for skilled work.
Did it about 2 times then i was a dumb little ana-chan and i really wouldn't recommend it.
If you really want to, you definatly need to take laxatives before, til you're completely empty, otherwise you will get terrible headaches. Starting from the 3rd day you're stomach will hurt a lot, since it wants to get rid of all the shit, but you simply can't go until about the 5th day, than it get's easier. But before that, you will get severe cramps and feel nauseous all the time, so rethink it…
If you want to detox, why not try like a fruit or vegetable day or a few, i'm sure it still does the job.
My boyfriend's stepmom is an anal anxious white soccer mom mess who's quite rude and controlling towards his otherwise chill dad. I just try to be nice and civil and not make comments that might cause something, but after I leave her presence I always sigh of relief
His sister on the other hand is a piece of work who seems weirdly jealous of me, on Christmas (first time i met his family) she interrupted a conversation I was having with my boyfriend's aunt to loudly ask if i was drunk. I had just gotten there and I'd had like 2 sips of a drink.
My advice is to kill them with kindness. If you're nothing but nice and they still find something to say about you, then it's on them
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Has anyone here ever had an epidural before? For any reason. I really believe having one for child birth has exacerbated my chronic lower back pain. I don't want to be on pain killers for the rest of my life, so I just wanted to ask if anyone has advice for dealing with it or remedies and such that you use.
I feel like I have issues with disagreeing with people irl because I don't want to be wrong or rock the boat, and I don't like it.
I've become more aggressive and confident because my career and being a woman living in a city makes it so I have to be to survive, but I worry anyway that I change my opinions to compromise in the moment, and then later on stress out and go "uhh wait no"
At the beginning of my relationship, we used to argue more about politics, but now, I try to compromise and see his point of view, while explaining mine, instead of jumping to getting upset or pissed. It feels like I see myself as a softie and say that, which is probably slightly self-deprecating, but we're both leftists, so it's not like our opinions hugely differ or our morality doesn't match up. I also know in my heart that he wants to do the right thing for as many people as he can, while being realistic/logical about it, and that it's the same for me as well.
But sometimes, I worry I compromise my opinions to avoid conflict, because it makes me nervous. Yet, I also recognize that I've got fluidity of thought and can change my mind when presented with new information.
Is it a big deal to disagree on politics or semantics in a marriage, really? It never seemed like it to me, but I'm having a hard time getting over details. I'm a sperg-chan so it feels like that's why. I get stuck on things sometimes and obsess when they're not important, but mess my head up.
More importantly, how do you respectfully discuss a topic and disagree without getting too emotional or having doubts about the other person?
I would never love my family less for being more conservative or liberal than me, unless it spread to treating my friends/spouse like crap.
I have to wonder if "avoiding volatile topics with people unless in the right mindset if you don't want to fight" and "trying to understand someone's point of view, compromise, and/or accept your disagreement" are actually bad things, and I'm anxious over nothing. It's not like these are "gas the [x]" conversations lol
This seems like more of an issue we women face than men, idk if it's socialization-related or even a bad thing if you're not changing yourself drastically…
samefag, but just writing that out makes me feel way better already
I don't feel like I'm so terrible or weak for being this way, or that I shouldn't trust other people. Maybe a bit more reasonable and calm for not letting my emotions take over as badly as they used to and trying to hear others out if they're not being jackasses or bigots or whatever.
it sure feels better than arguing with people so much, tbh, and I still have a lot of passion in debating certain topics, writing about philosophy or some politics, and correcting false stuff, and I still post it up on my social media or tell my spouse/family.
I don't know. As I said, maybe it's not such a bad thing, and I'm convincing myself it's bad because of anxiety, since thinking about it in depth and putting it into words, it doesn't sound/feel like I'm really compromising my opinions the way I thought.
Still, I don't feel confident in how to "agree to disagree" without feeling weird about it, or have a polite debate with people I care about sometimes, and want to hear what others have to say.
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hi /g/irls… i have some issues regarding "sexual abuse". i think i might have fucked up with something i told a doctor…
>mother never takes me seriously when i say i need mental help. she takes me to a general doctor (i'm not american so i'm not sure if that's the right word, but like a family doctor).
>she tells the doctor that i'm stressed and anxious. i ask her to leave. they both think i'm being a brat and ignore me. the doctor is old and mean and he's asking HER the questions instead of me. i insisted again until she left the room.
>once she's gone i start crying and saying "i've dealt with some sexual abuse. and my father's death bothers me. and my pet's death bothers me too. i'm all alone now"
>he only cares about the sexual abuse part and keeps pushing me questions about it.
>he ends up refering me to a psychologist. he says its a great psychologist who can help with my repressed "angst".
but here's the thing…
my history with "sexual abuse" was a one time thing. when i was like six. and it wasn't even by force. it bothers me, sure. but i'm scared that the psychlogist will too focus on the whole "sexual abuse" thing too. because i'm not even sure if it counts as sexual abuse. again, it only happened once and i wasn't forced, i was just really young and didn't know what sex was. i'm scared to see the psychologist guy now.
/g/ anons, am i a victim of sexual abuse, even if it was just a one time thing? did i do the right thing by saying that i am?
i don't know. i'm scared i'll tell the psychologist guy and that he's just going to think i wasted his time. he probably thinks its this big deal and that i'm a victim. i'm afraid i'll disappoint him and he'll think i'm a brat too.
i don't even know why i told him. i guess i got super frustrated hearing my mom say "you're fine anon. you're stressed. you don't need a doctor for this." i guess i wanted to be taken seriously. i don't know… what do you think?
Was the person who was inappropriate with you old enough to know it's not ok?
Even if they weren't, it obviously bothers you to this day. You're still thinking about it and it seems like it has left you with some kind of baggage. i understand that you might be panicking and questioning yourself, but you were 6 years old - even if you don't think it was 'sexual abuse', you couldn't possibly have knowingly consented to doing something like that.
The therapist should be able to help you regardless. They won't force you to talk about anything you don't want to talk about, but i think even your doubts are worth mentioning.
Ooh, girl. Shit. Sorry. Took me years to shake off a stalker even with getting a restraining order, he'd just go straight out of prison to wait in front of my apartment.
If he ever shows up again, do not respond to his "hi" or whatnot, just take out your phone, start filming him, and say: "I have been perfectly clear I do not want any kind of contact with you. If you ever come back again, I will get a restraining order. Go before I call the police." And walk away. If he does not go, call the police.
This is the most important. After saying that, never ever ever everevereverever say another word to him anymore, not a single vowel, not "yes" or "no" or "go away" or anyth. You said and did all that was normally needed. He is not normal. He will perceive ANY kind of communication as contact, and it will fuel him further.
If he keeps showing up, get a restraining order. It does keep MOST freaks out of bay.
What you must do now is inform your family and friends about this situation so that you have a support network, because you are in real danger.
Carry a weapon at all times. Pepper spray is a godsend.
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I just turned 19 a few months ago and I am the only virgin in my friendship group. I've never kissed anyone, never had a boyfriend or girlfriend, never done anything sexual with someone. I don't really have the desire to at the moment, or am in the right mental state of mind to share my life with someone.
My friends mock me (all are guys except for one girl) for being a virgin and say I should get drunk and lose it at a party or club (which I hate going to) to get it over and done with. They say that though I'm 19, it's childish and weird for not wanting to fuck someone 24/7.
It makes me feel like utter shit when they talk about sex, then either make fun of me for being a virgin or offer to set me up with a friend for one night. Should I take a risk, or ignore them and keep doing what I'm doing?
19 is still fairly young, don't let them pressure you if you don't feel like having a bf or having sex. It's your virginity, your pussy and your business
, so don't let them pressure you.
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what do I do if my mother might be holding my birth certificate and SSC hostage?
granted the SSC might be lost but I find that hard to believe as after she gave it to me I used it once and put it back where I store it (with my birth certificate!). never touched it again. this was Aug 22.
I moved and like a dumbass forgot to take my birth certificate, and honestly it was because she came in my room and took it weeks before. never returned it now that I think about it. didn't even suggest that I take something I fucjing need to work with me. I moved because I need a job ffs. and I've got interviews coming up and it just doesn't feel as though she's moving in a timely manner. I was planning on getting a friend to steal it and mail it but my brother says it might be locked in a safe with his. I am across the fucking country lol how in the fuck…ok. I just need my birth certificate asap so I can request a new SSC.
oh and I believe it's being held hostage because my brother has been asking about his foronths so he can finally get his license (which she's been bitching about) and she's never given it to him. even when he and i were supposed to go together. she legit avoids the question when he asks. so, I think the suspicion is slightly warranted.
this defeats the purpose of me moving and if she drags this out I won't have a job for a month. I figure that because I doubt she'll do certified mail so maybe a week or two of waiting for it, and then another two weeks waiting for my SSC. I simply do not have faith in her.
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>>69895>I can't stand not having the last word and hate being made foolish
This is the umbilical cord that will be holding you on to him and that you must cut before you can move on.
Understand that this part has nothing to do with him, it's just you. That fragile ego of yours probably played a significant part in you choosing/staying with a partner that was not good for you.
I live in a country where age of consent is 14. Guys and girls usually go for people their own age or someone 2-3 years apart. 20 year old guys usually stay away from 16/17 year old girls as they consider them kids. 14 year olds date other 14 year olds. It would be considered weird if a 16 year old guy got together with a 14 year old girl, let alone a guy who is 27 lmao. >>70093
My suggestion is to ask him to control how deep inside he goes.
It's good for you to be on top for the first time. He's 10x stronger than you, so you'll still feel like he's got all the power, if that's a concern of yours.
I'd suggest foreplay until you can't take it anymore. The vaginal canal lengthens when you're aroused.
you poor girl.>>70140
You poor girl omg
Girl, ngl but it's gonna hurt the first time for sure. No matter the lube or position, shit is bound to hurt. That shouldn't be a worry to you though, because the pain is absolutely gone in a few minutes. My first time was with a guy who was 8" and that's how it went. Also I'd say that the next 3-4 times won't feel very pleasant as well but after that you will definitely start enjoying it.
I recommend you do it doggy style for your first time. I just hug a pillow the whole time lol.
Oh man thanks anons, it helps just having people to talk to about it. I have no female friends to talk to about this shit. I'll take into consideration the positions and tips. I'm just hoping I'm not like my mother, who often complains about being too small down there, just never stopped slightly hurting her despite sizes.>>70138
That sounds horrible! I hope he doesn't hurt you to bad. I'm sorry.
I lucked out with my boyfriend, he's also a virgin and I'm his first gf which is cute. I feel bad that we are both 24 and haven't done it though.>>70140
11"?! I couldn't imagine, like where would it even go?? Vaginas aren't that deep. It would be like a boxing match with your cervix.
Sorry I didn't individually reply to every since there was a lot, but I made sure I read everything. I really really appreciate it.
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my friend hasn't texted me back in a month and a half or so, every since i wished her a happy birthday and told her we should meet up for lunch so i could give her her present. she texted back "thanks! i'm really busy with everything" and hasn't responded since then. i really don't want to text her first, because i hate the idea of being someone who bothers people when they don't want to talk to me. maybe it's because she got a bf, i know some girls just abandon all their girl friends once they get a bf for some reason. idk but i'm just looking at the huge-ass chocolate bar i got her and wondering if i should just eat it.
i'm super paranoid because i used to be the clingy friend when i was in high school and now i've spent so much time trying to make up for it that i worry that i come off as way too aloof and unfriendly to my friends. ugh, i just wish she would tell me what's going on, i know she's been having health problems and exams and her bf is taking up all of her time, but it wouldn't hurt just to drop me a text.
You need to flee temptation. You cannot hang out with him again. If you do, you need to break up with your current bf.
The first time, you didn't know how your heart was going to react so that was ok. But now that you've acknowledged your feelings, hanging out with this other man is cheating.
If you're even thinking about over the counter stuff, you're on your way to failing and ending up in the crazy house.
Reconsider suicide. Sounds like you're not ready.
oh hey anon i've attempted with both those methods you mention and all i can say is DON'T DO IT!!
if you try, it will be painful as fuck and you will survive plus be burdened by medical bills. It's actually kind of hard to kill yourself, the human body is very resilient.
One helpful thing that came out of my attempts though is the knowledge that in 72 hours, your emotional state will be different than it is right now.
Please don't go through with this anon. Please wait three days and reassess how you feel. Your life has value and by ending it prematurely you're robbing yourself of the so many unknown pleasures. I know that it's hard to imagine a better life in your current state, but please be kind to yourself. you can recover from this despair and become a stronger person for it.
Here's a chat line that I've used myself before and I really recommend it: http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx
You can also talk to me if you want, whatever channel of communication youre most comfortable with I will make an account for you to reach me on.
But I beg you to please reconsider. Your life has value. Suicide is a permanent solution to often temporary problems.
I heard drowning is super painful. There's a chance the pain and panic will wake you up. Well, the worst thing about it all is, you'll always fight to survive. No matter how much you want to die, your brain will always resist. Remember this.
I thought about numbing myself with alcohol and then opening the wrists. But I was too big of a wimp to ever go through with this, and surprise surprise, things got better.
I won't tell u bs like don't do it talk to me uwu. It's just not worth it, too big of a chance you'll chicken out and call for help, someone'll interrupt or it will simply not be effective enough. You may end up on a chair or as a veggie - srsly, reconsider. If you can't go through with drastic but efficient suicide and you look for the painless ones, that means you still should give yourself time, you're not completely on board with death. Those who are don't care about pain
I've given my boyfriend's parent the absolute worst impression of me. The first thing they knew about me was that I gave their son a hickey on his neck (then eventually, all over his chest rip), now I've really fucked up. He hosted a party at his house and one thing lead to another and we ended up in his bed both naked. Nothing happened though, he fell asleep and was impossible to wake up. I decided that sleeping next to my naked boyfriend was too risky in the even that his one of his parents walk in, so I went upstairs to sleep on the couch where my friends were (bf forgot to tell anyone that he'd made up beds in a spare room before passing out), but there was no room on the couch, and I was too tired and cold to walk around his house looking for the spare bedroom - it was already taken anyway - so I gave in and thought fuck it, I'll just cover him up and sleep next to him fully clothed instead. It was fine untill later in the morning when his sister came in to tell us to come downstairs and tend to our friends. He had to explain everything to his parents who I don't expect would believe it at all, and to make things worse, I'd only thanked his father for having me over, and his mother is very disappointed in me for this. I've always prided myself in my manners, so this definitely hit me right where it hurts. I don't know if anyone can give me advice for this, I just needed to get this off my chest.
Has anyone had a friend, or exfriend, posted here? There is a thread on someone I know. It seems like theres other people in the thread that want to talk about them, but chicken out and never come back. I just don't really know how to react, mostly because I am angry with this person and I am trying to not do anything I'd regret. I'm just inclined to spill milk as this person treated my close friend horribly.>>70467
Don't be embarrassed about getting acrylics. Acrylics, besides being a fashion thing, are there for those who can't have long, strong nails because of genetics or any other reasons. They see a lot of people like you come in and it could help! My best friend had the same problem as you, so bad her fingers looked like mushrooms because half her fingernails were bitten off. She just trained herself to stop biting as soon as she noticed, but acrylics helped a bit and gave her confidence. Be careful though, because acrylics in particular weaken your nails even more. Good luck, anon! I hope you find something that helps you.
My mom keeps asking me for money and I don’t know what to do anymore.
There’s a lot to explain so bear with my. My parents have been having relationship problems for the last 5 years and last year around this time they decided to file for divorce. The divorce hasn’t been finalized yet but it will be really soon. For the last year and currently now my parents are “separated” but they still live in the same house and my dad still takes care of my mom financially for the most part. They were married for 35 years and my mom didn’t work at all during that time, and she doesn’t work now.
Money has been one of the bigger issues for my parents these last 5 years due to my mom taking big amounts of money out of the bank and having nothing to show for it and also being sneaky about it. Regardless, for the last year and a half my dad has been giving my mom $500 to spend on whatever she wants to. This isn’t court ordered or part of the divorce (although he will have to pay alimony once it’s finalized), my dad is only doing this to be civil because my mom wanted money during this time.
My dad still pays all the bills in the house and pays for all the food. My mom only needs to be spending money on her medical expenses ($10 a doctor visit, $5 for a prescription) and her credit card bill, but she ends up having no money by the middle of the month. She then begs me for money in small increments, usually $10 “for cigarettes” every 1-2 days, but I’ve ended up giving her $100+ every month this year.
I always start off telling her no every day but she keeps begging and guilting me and I eventually give in. I feel bad about myself when I do this because I know I’m not really helping her and I think she has bigger problems with what she’s spending money on. I also always feel taken advantage of and powerless, and the rest of my family gets upset with me when I give her money since they don’t trust her with it. But when I don’t give her money I always feel bad too, she’s my mom and I want her to be happy. Every day I tell her “I don’t want to do this, this is the last time I’m giving you money” and she says okay. But we both know I’ll end up giving her money the next time she asks.
I’ve been avoiding telling her how I feel because I don’t talk to her much at all these last few years and I don’t have a lot of trust towards her. But today I finally broke down and decided to tell her how I bad felt when she asked me for money. I even started crying but she didn’t seem to listen to me at all. It truly seemed like all she cared about was getting money from me.
I’m not sure what to do. I know I should be a tougher/stronger person and learn to really say no but at this point I’m not even sure if I can do that with my mom. Should I just wait until the divorce is finalized and she has to leave the house?
Just learnt my friend is a pedophile and rapist.
I met him at a friend's house, we talked a lot and clicked because we have similar problems and background, except some of them are much worse. I was happy to know someone who could relate to me regarding mental issues, but it quickly went darker.
He told me he was raped by his father during his childhood (who is now in jail) which made me feel for him but made me wonder if he could become like him (which sadly happens in those situation).
We were chilling at his place, watching anime, when all of a sudden he stopped the video and turned around, saying "You're going to be my psychologist".
To "protect" (in his words) his three younger sisters from being raped as well by their dad, he had sex with them while his dad watched. When his dad went to jail, that didn't stop and both parties were soliciting it. One time, he anally raped his youngest sister. He told me he wasn't even thinking, he just wanted his needs met. She was crying in pain, telling him to stop, but he didn't. He finished, and ordered her to stop crying before their mother came back at the house, and to wipe herself. When he realized later what he did, he cried.
He also had sex with other underage girls not in his family.
He told me he still was attracted to much younger girls, and is currently fucking a 13 years old girl.
As you can imagine I'm still shocked, but the thing is I don't know what I can do. I want to help him not being what his father was but I think it is too late. Help me please.
> Obvious answers are Bosnia, Serbia, Croatia and Slovenia
heh, I am from Croatia. Though thanks for responding. I wouldn't go to Bosnia because it's a ticking bomb. Serbia I wouldn't mind if it weren't for the fact that I'm a croat + proximity to Bosnia makes it a no.
Slovenia, on the other hand, is great but I'm not sure if there's plenty of lands available and if the prices are ok? Gonna check anyway.
By cheapish, I mean at least 10he of land for 100.000 euro. The land that is available here at a reasonable price is usually of low quality in terms of agriculture.
I'm considering Poland, Slovakia even Belarus. It would be a dream to start in Georgia(the country, not the state) but I only have information on it from the internet. It would be nice to get info from a native.
Fwiw nobody in Serbia gives a shit about Croats. I don't know how it is where you live and I've heard mixed stories of people getting their tyres slashed for having Serbian licence plates, but for all people know you could be one of the numerous refugees from Kordun or Herzegovina and nobody would be able to tell the difference. Also, Vojvodina is a nice place to live for Catholics due to the sizeable Hungarian minority. Belgrade is lots of fun but I wouldn't live there, too densely populated and some areas are full of football hooligans/gypsies/lowlives in general.
Nobody here cares about Bosnia or much of anything anymore, we're frankly too busy dealing with EU bullshit and Syrians right now and it really wouldn't affect anyone (at least not here in the north).
I'm not sure if I'm on the right thread for this, but I don't have time to go digging right this second, so I figured it's worth a shot.
I've recently started to accept that I have a bit of a problematic relationship with food. It probably started as an infant when I became a picky eater due to my mum only being able to afford cheap tinned food at the time. Food I was unfamiliar with made me routinely very anxious and I would often end up crying over being forced to try something new. I grew out of that for the most part but eating at other people's houses has always made me anxious (what if I don't like the food they serve and I insult them? etc.) I thought I was fine for a while, or at least I ate like any other regular kid, until I was around 14 maybe and I just completely lost my appetite, started eating one meal a day, became preoccupied with my appearance and weight. Probably just normal for a teenager going through an insecure phase. This continued on and off for a few years, I gained a few extra pounds at 16 and ended up dropping them when I was 17/18 by surviving on soup and bananas. I was constantly tired and hungry but didn't really care. I haven't ever really shaken off the fear of not being thin enough. I'd say my natural weight is healthy (I'm 5'4 and usually weigh around 121 pounds) but I'm obsessed with it, and with my body shape, and with comparing myself to others. The feeling of having a full stomach makes me feel sick with guilt. I'm 21 now and although I've often attempted to vomit my food up, only recently have I managed to push through and force myself to vomit. I've only vomited 4 times over the course of this last month, and I don't exactly binge eat at all, so I don't qualify as bulimic and I'm scared any kind of doctor would not take me seriously if I am not fitting the criteria.
Does anybody have any advice on not feeling guilty after eating like, half a takeaway pizza? On not hating myself for feeling full, and not letting my fluctuating weight make me feel worthless?
tl;dr do not have fully-fledged eating disorder but am struggling to keep my food down/not worry about my weight 24/7 and need advice on stopping
Thanks. I didn't mean to offend, if I did, I'm sorry.
> Also, Vojvodina is a nice place to live for Catholics due to the sizeable Hungarian minority.
Interesting, I've heard a lot of positive things about it, also that it has lots of cozy towns and nice landscape.
> Nobody here cares about Bosnia or much of anything anymore, we're frankly too busy dealing with EU bullshit and Syrians right now
Are you still being overwhelmed by the refugees? We don't get any news reports on it here so I thought it stopped or at least the influx became insignificant in the recent years?
> Oh and as for beekeeping, my granddad used to do it and it's fairly profitable since you can sell a lot at country fairs and to local businesses. There's also OrganicNet for selling produce online.
Thanks for the tip and that's great to hear about your grandad! I already do some organic beekeeping, though it's really on a small negligible level. Also, I managed to double what I invested within a year and that's without trying much so there's definitely a lot of potential in it. Did you also consider starting a beekeeping business?
I've thought of relocating to Serbia mainly because I've heard from others about lots of fertile lands available. I'm not going to bother you with more questions since I could do my research online, my biggest issue is the bureaucracy, the monthly/yearly costs related to paperwork etc. I have experience with it here so one of the impetus for leaving is the ridiculous amount of taxes for things that have little to do with business, paperwork, waiting for hours in line and officials that are clueless about law and regulations while their job is to know those things. Sorry for the vent. I'm also not happy with our current government and idiots that vote for them so I want to go to a place that isn't so focused on past events. It's the main reasons why plenty of my friends left or are in the process of leaving.
So, my older sister left a long-term abusive relationship over a year ago in which she had two kids from. She's been living at home ever since (as do I), and I recommended checking out OkCupid as I met my current boyfriend of two years off there. She's been using the site since August or so, went on a few dates, and a little over a month ago seems to have met a guy she really likes. Problem is, when I met the guy I got some bad vibes from him. He was speaking to her child WAY too sternly, like he's their actual father. It's kind of hard to explain, but it put me off a lot. He was raising his voice in an annoyed tone essentially. Keep in mind, they'd only gone on their first date maybe 2-3 weeks prior. Speaking of their first date, he met my parents and grandmother on the FIRST date. She invited him, which is another level of weird, but I still can't imagine any normal person wanting to meet family that quickly. Anyway, just today I found out from my mother that he's "hinted at a ring" and that it's secret. She seems fine with it as my whole family seems charmed by him, but seriously, what the FUCK? They've only known of eachother's existence for MAYBE two months and he already wants to propose?
Anyway, I'm really worried about her kids. Judging by how fast he's trying to progress things it wouldn't be surprising if he turns out to also be abusive. Should I try talking to my other family members to find out what they think? I don't want to confront her directly because she'd probably start a fight in result. I'm just really worried and stressed.
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update: lol i told my therapist about this and he aint care about none of this lol. dont know why i bothered. "just write about it and talk about it and everything will be fine anon :)". man, i feel so stupid. therapy never does anything for me. i think i need meds or something. dont think he'll give me any. i live in a third world country don't even know why i thought the therapy here could be any good lol.
should i change doctors or just quit therapy all together and try something else…? he says i'm not trying hard enough to change but i am. thing is, he's too busy asking me about my (current) sex life for me to enjoy his sessions.>>69521
he was a teenager and i was like 6. but we were both underage and he knew i'll do whatever he wanted so :(>>69526
not in my country. why?
change therapists if you can.
meds and therapy can both work, but imo therapy can be really important for growth where as meds just help with the pain of it all. many people end up just getting off their meds and finding themselves in the same old position, whereas with good therapy you may find yourself free of past hurts etc.
However, like medication therapists vary per person. Personally i've had two therapists in my life, 1 would say "this is why you feel this way." where the other would say "why do you think you feel this way?" The second is what i found helped me more, forcing me to think for myself, come to my own conclusions and discuss it with her. however the first therapist was highly recommended despite her method not working for me personally.
before you give up, try with someone new. you're not a hopeless case anon, good luck
I agree with you that his behavior is abnormal. Single men who have never had kids usually don't want to date a woman with them. My only thought for why he would want to meet the family so fast and get married within weeks of meeting is to gain power over your unstable sis and use it as an opportunity to abuse the kids in secrecy, while everyone else thinks he's such a nice guy. This may be a pretty big leap to make from a few sentences but there's so many step parent abuse stories, and abuse often happens within the family. I know of a few stories where an irresponsible mother brought a guy into her and her kids lives and they were sexually abused as a result while nobody suspected it.
I'm not really sure how you could go about mentioning this to your family though, besides "hey, isn't it strange that this guy behaves this way and it might mean hes abusive, and it's bad to introduce a complete stranger into the kids lives?" The focus just needs to be about the children rather than assumptions about his personality, and I think I'd voice my concern with other close family first and then confront her together calmly, ask her to consider the possibilities.
Hopefully you and your family figure it out, your post creeped me out a bit honestly, your sister needs to be more careful bringing about strange men so quickly into her life and ESPECIALLY avoiding letting them know she has kids right away. It's much better to be let down by a guy who doesn't want the extra baggage of children after talking for a while, than to potentially introduce someone seeking out a woman with kids or whatever else into your family. Good luck anon. Trust your gut.
I forgot to mention that he has an ex wife (?) and three kids, but they live a few states away. I'm not sure if he's part of their lives or not, why they split up, which doesn't help any of my suspicions either.
But yes, I agree. Early on she was saying how she wouldn't have him meet the kids soon, but that quickly changed to just introducing him as a friend, then into being close/cuddly I'm front of them all in this short time span. I'd like to think they're just being stupid due to infatuation/the honeymoon phase. I think getting so serious that quickly is stupid in general but when kids are involved it's much worse.
Thanks for the advice though, I'm relieved that someone else thinks it's strange too. I may have overheard my father talking about him in a not-so-positive way, so I'll maybe talk to him first.
Samefag, I'm so sorry.
I think she also introduced him so quickly to my family (first date, first time meeting) because my parents are alcoholics and the house is dirty with many things that need fixing. My sister isn't a great person ngl, and probably did this to make him feel sorry for her and want to "save her". She's into stereotypically masculine men and I assume wants to be a housewife, at least for awhile. There's nothing inherintally wrong with that and I could be wrong for saying this, but it seems like a lot of abusive men desire that type of relationship. However, I believe the job he has would require him to have a clean record. So, maybe they truly are just being stupid and infatuated and rushing into things. It's still selfish to be doing that with so many kids involved, and I will talk to my family.
Kek I get those thoughts to open my car door while driving. I often lock the door compulsively to prevent me from acting on them lmao
Are we both just fucked? Probably
Have you ever considered that maybe you're all just sexist?
If you see any man with sub-8/10 looks, you automatically assume he's a rapist, pedophile, murderer, abuser, creep, etc.
Men have to deal with this discrimination and sexism everyday.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
How do I get my gf, who’s already really sensitive about people criticizing chihuahuas behavior in any form, to train her dog without offending her? she’s particularly defensive about people that criticize their yapping.
It’s just… incredibly loud. It’s embarrassing going with her to a pet store because aggressive dogs aren’t allowed, but she just laughs it off when he’s barking at every single person and growls at every dog he sees.
I think our rats are accustomed to it, but we just adopted a guinea pig yesterday and I want her to get comfortable, her cage is covered just so she won’t freak out when she sees us move so she can explore and get accustomed to it in peace, but his barking is soo fucking loud. He’ll bark every time someone comes home, random sounds outside, hearing someone outside of our bedroom door, and it goes on forever.
I know it stresses her out. Jeez, it stresses ME out.
That, and he only gets bathed on rare occasion and rolls around in dead stuff and smelly shit for fun and I hate it when he gets on the bed.
I’ve tried to explain that I didn’t like him on the bed a while ago, but she’ll let him do it occasionally, so he still thinks it’s okay and i’ll have to be an asshole and push him off now and then.
I mean, his behavior has just been really getting to me lately. He’s constantly whining, barking, peeing on stuff, it’s just really frustrating. I… just don’t like the dog and i know it’s not fair because she’s had it for like 8 or 9 years since a puppy and I’ve only been around for a couple years, but jeez, I feel like it’d be so much better if she trained him.
How can I bring this up without sounding like a dog-hating disney villain?
I seriously need help. Despite living in a beautiful big city, having lots of friends, partying every weekend, having a hot boyfriend, being conventionally attractive, popular, and passing as normal in society, I can't help but be absolutely jealous of a local cow in my community. She's fairly known on this website although not talked about so much anymore and is 100% a cringy weeab. I've shared my jealousy with two people and they were shocked, saying things like, "How could you ever possibly be jealous of her," and being weirded out by her unhealthy obsession with anime culture. I'm on an awesome career path and about to graduate college as a shoo-in to teach English in France yet I can't. Stop. Facebook stalking this weeab. She's hardly attractive outside of the anime community and is completely out of touch with reality. Not only that, she consistently posts cringy, self absorbed shit on social media daily. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like I'm using her as an excuse to shit on myself or feel better about myself. I find myself checking her social media almost every day and constantly comparing myself to her. Any time I find a flaw about her, I feel better about myself and anytime she rarely does something impressive, I feel shitty. It's like I envy how open she is about being a self important weeab and soaking in nerd attention yet I could never lower myself to do something like that. I don't know what's wrong with me :( I feel so ashamed of myself especially because I don't feel this way about any other girls in my life and they're 100% way more attractive and talented than this cow. What do I do? I've been going to therapy for complex ptsd for almost two years now and I've never brought this subject up because I'd seriously rather talk about being sexually abused as a child than my jealousy over a girl. I just feel like my mental priorities are so fucked.
It's the attention.
You're jealous of the attention.
Cause if she were a regular thirsty weeb who overshared her crap and wasn't popular, you wouldn't care.
Do you not get enough attention irl? Sounds like you have a good life, when will it be enough?
>>71037>It's like I'm using her as an excuse to shit on myself or feel better about myself
You are and you know it just creates a loop of insecurity and makes you look unhinged. Spending less time on lolcow/4chan and social media and hiding/removing her from Facebook is a good idea. Treat it like a real addiction.
Also you included specific details in your post that will identify you to any anons that know you, so you might as well just accept that you're a bit of a judgemental bitch and admit it openly to any other friends that you're struggling to overcome this. However shitting on the other person isn't helpful, you need to take a look at yourself and the reasons for your insecurities
Are you in actual fact, half the weaboo population in the UK?
If so, stop that
Did you reply to >>71067
was a reply to >>70894
which was about
>Oh God anyone else ever have a friend where you meet up and instantly regret it because they really grate on you?
Sorry this is long.
My sister was a horrible person my entire life, literally from the time I was born up until now so over 20 years. She was the biggest bully in my life, constantly told me I'd wind up alone because nobody could ever love me, stole everything I owned as a kid and either gave it away or lost it/broke it and threatened me into being silent about it, got neighborhood kids to harass and mock me every time I went outside and even molested me for a few years. My mom didn't know about it, I never told her, and she was a single mom working all the time to provide for us.
She left when I was in my early teens and still continued to extort me for what little pocket change I had by either blackmail or guilt trips. We're both adults now and I cut her out of my life until recently because I decided to be the bigger person and let it all go.
She still is the same fucking person and blames me for not trying hard enough to be a good sister to her and her family.
I wrote her this two page letter on why I hate her and everything she did to make my life hell as a kid, and threw in a bit about my accomplishments (world traveling, 4.0 college GPA, amazing soon to be husband) because she has a shitty home life and lives in a trailer park and I wanted her to see how well off I was, that someone did love me and that I wasn't a fat/ugly/useless/stupid piece of shit like she constantly told me I would be.
I wrote it a few weeks ago but didn't send it and now she's apparently happy for me and my new job as I found out from extended family. I guess it just feels petty to send it now but… idk.I want to tell her how I feel but I know she's just gonna turn it around on me and use it as "proof" I was a bad sister and she was just trying to be nice to me etc etc.
Half of me is always so angry that I have to be the bigger person and turn the other cheek and bite my tongue and move on and let her do this to me. I want to be so angry and show off to her and make her miserable like she did to me, but I know how it looks when I say that.
What do you anons think, should I just leave the letter to sit in my desk and never send it, or send it and deal with whatever happens after?
I know that, I was joking that >>71067
must collectively be half of the weeb uk population since they are synonymous with all of the behavior >>70894
was complaining about
Obviously not a funny or even understandable joke if I need to explain it
i know it's nuts but it's an iPhone 7+. I've chosen to go to them because they're more reliable I guess you could say. it feels like an investment. after this phone, I'm not buying another for 2-3 years, 5 max. the phone that's not working well I actually bought this past summer for $200 (LG stylo 3 plus) and it already needs to be replaced.
there were some that were lower than that but I felt that the seller's were scamming. they wouldn't answer questions regarding the phone info at all. this person sent my a snap of the information in the phone settings too, so I'm way more inclined to buy from them for that.
I accidentally reported this post trying to delete it, oh my god.
There are a lot of scams with secondhand phones, especially if you are meeting in person. So be careful.
Is there no way to buy a new one from a phone shop, or Amazon?
Anyway, good luck…
Enjoy your shitty battery life.
Lots of cheap android phones out there, Huawei have come out with a few nice ones recently, and I have a Sony Xperia that's tiny and the battery lasts for days. No reason to get an iPhone nowadays.
you don't have to tell me twice. I request the IMEI upfront. only 2 have agreed to do so out of about 10-15. it's very telling about these these people and I drop them from consideration. one even asked for my number to talk about the phone when there's a chat feature. I am a very impatient person, and I can't save money. I end up wasting it on food and makeup. I made an agreement with my aunt to watch my spending and to get this phone out of the way so that I can focus on saving. I've asked my uncle to come with me for pick up as I am a girl and I've seen women mention how buyers try to rob them (female and male). >>71262
yeah, I'm gonna miss my battery, I won't lie about that. I've never had one and if push comes to shove I can resell it for something else. I've just been dissatisfied with some of the latest Android phones to tell you the truth, and the camera features of this phone peaked my interest enough to want to try one. I was also kind of hoping to FaceTime my boyfriend, because messenger keeps fucking up for us (he's abroad rn). we're always missing each other's calls or we can't hear each other. it'd be nice to see him.
I almost changed it to this, didn't think it was right but figured someone would correct me. thank you.>>71272
…I don't believe it's a necessity or investment because of the brand, it's because it won't break down after a couple months of use; I'm aiming for longevity and durability. I mean, there are people with 4s still. they last quite a while. the camera features
interested me. I'm not talking specifically of quality.
I'm tired of buying cheaper Androids that are done for before the year is up. the only one I've had that's been very good to me I've passed down to a sibling years ago. I've already requested a free repair estimate from the nearest CPR since they didn't have my phone as an option but I'm not certain I'll get a response fast enough.
Maybe I need less advice and more of a pep talk but I just need to unload some info. Gonna greentext it because it's long
>Move out of home state a few years ago with fiance
>friends want to move out to same area
>They come live with us for the last few months of our lease, planning to get a two bedroom to split
>Give them their first month free so they don't blow through savings before getting a job
>month before we're out tell us they want their own place (fine with us because we were not working as roommates)
>tell us the DAY BEFORE rent is due they're not paying half because they're leaving early. Go as far as to calculate the cost per day and cut it in half
>agree to pay half bills but to this day have not done so
>Suddenly left with more than half rent
>still have a deposit to pay
>still haven't signed lease because fiance can't find a job and our credit is bad and we need to prove income
>SOMEHOW through the kindness of friends and working literally every single hour I possibly can we manage to get the place
>guy at the office even pulls strings to apply our first month free to our deposit so we have way less to put down to get in
>Use last of money on moving truck, do more than half the moving and packing ALONE because fiance is working and won't help when he's not
>He's been stressed, I let it go, but he broke my favourite mug by not being careful when we were moving
>Whatever we're here
>Come home day after we move in
>Cat i've had 10 years is dead
>fiance takes care of everything
>Friends help bring him and everything so i don't have to do it
>lowest option for cremation is $80
>we have $20
>Roommate from before works at the hospital they went to
>Immediately pays for a nice package that got me his pawprint too $150
>husband pays this back his first opportunity
>time passes, his grandma comes to visit
>She hates her visit here as we overhear her telling her husband on the phone
>Thinks we're lazy because we've finally had a break from stress and aren't unpacking very quickly (we'd been there two weeks)
>she unpacked a ton of stuff out of boredom because we were too broke to do anything
>took her to nature stuff though which she did enjoy so i just promise to make the next visit better
>She agrees, every other year.
>feel like shit tho
>Next month goes by fine. We're late on first month's rent but we just pay the late fees and it's fine
>our checks should cover rent fine next month
>checks do not cover our rent fine next month (we got sick around the same time so we were both around $100 short from normal which fucked us)
>It's fine we'll just have to cover late fees
>next check for fiance is approaching
>terrified we won't have enough
>having a near nonstop anxiety attack for the entire week leading up to payday
>MIRACULOUSLY HIS GRANDPA SENDS HIM $200 FOR HIS BIRTHDAY
>My grandpa miraculously sends me $100 because he's paying me back for helping him with bills
>BY THE SKIN OF OUR TEETH WE HAVE ENOUGH
>I get two more checks before rent and he has three so we might legit be fine next month
>Not taking chances, i apply to jobs like crazy th whole week leading up to the rent payment
>Day of an interview is same day rent is due
>go to shared credit union, they an't write me a check for a shared branch
>call grocery store
>Can you do certified check
>Oh, no we can't. i answered your call but i was wrong
>drive all the way to my bank
>lose a quarter of gas because of this bullshit
>Whatever, have job interview
>make it just barely on time
>Manager isn't there
>They call her for me
>Lol i got sent home early and forgot i had an interview
>Whatever i live close, reschedule for today
>today finally goes well
>ace the interview, gotta wait to interview the DM but i'll probably get it
>interview monday at a job i actually want
>FIANCE ARE HANGRY
>FIANCE ARE WANT BURGER
>Go to burger king
>his cards declined
>FUCK was i wrong about how much was left?
>reluctantly use the cash in my wallet
>drop him off at work
>MIRACULOUSLY HIS CARD HAS SAME AMOUNT ON IT FOR GAS
>Was literally short some change
>Everything went better than expected
Today was good besides my fiance being kind of an asshole and being grumpy, but he confided he's been really sad because he misses my cat. I've been burying it because i don't handle loss well, but he doesn't handle it well very openly so I get it. Trying to cut him slack even though he was kinda a douche
Sorry for the REALLY LENGTHY post but the people in my life are sick of hearing my stories because my life is just ntohing but downers lately lol and i know it…I just needed to get all of this out somewhere and just feel some relief.
I should definitely get one of these jobs since I usually ace interviews (Being good at customer service for me translates into my interviews pretty easily. An interview is just an upsell of yourself!) so if i get one of these second jobs we won't be paycheck to paycheck anymore.
Plus minimum wage goes up in my state jan 1st so i'll be making a little bit extra already, thank fuck.
I also work christmas, by choice, yay overtime!So i feel amazingly better for once.
Life sucks guys but honestly the only thing that got me through it all was believing it can get better. If I can pass on some advice to any of you in exchange for my lengthy post, it's that whenever something shit is happening, no matter what it is, take a deep breath. Clear your mind, force it to shut up for two seconds, and say it out loud so you can affirm it to yourself, "It's going to get better." "It will be okay."
Because even if you have to wade in shit for months, eventually shit's gonna let up, but you can't let the crushing weight of despair weigh you down from taking steps that could make things better. For me that was continuing to apply to jobs and work my ass off at my current one to try to either move up (supervisor positions keep opening but i need to be trained in all areas of the store before i can move up) or find something better.
If i can survive this tidal wave of garbage in just three months, you guys can make it through anything too.
Aw anon, reading this it's very similar to me and my fiance's life. I also lol'd at "FIANCE ARE WANT BURGER"
living by the skin of your teeth with this kind of stress is really hard. We've been doing it for a year aand a half and it does stress the relationship a lot. I know you probably already know but it's important to talk to your fiance about the stress and for him to know he can talk to you too. The number 1 stress for us in the end that we only recently discussed was that we never really felt like we could talk about the situation without one of us getting upset. You seem to be handling it very well though.
I just got a new job Friday also so I send you all my nice new job good interview vibes, you will do great and things will look up for you both and you will both have many burger.
Sorry to hear about all your stress anon. Did the cat die due to any particular reason (stress at moving, eating poison plant at new place, etc? Or just old age?).(anxious animal lover here so I worry about these things)
Really shitty luck, hope you get the job(s) and everything starts going more smoothly.
It sounds like you're just not a (physiologically) sexual person Anon. Being bone-dry is not common but also might reflect on your lack of attraction to those guys/their lack of prowess.
As for the bi element, just let experiences happen organically rather than worrying about sexual competency, especially as sex is not performative as a female so it really is not an issue in that sense (even female-female). The most important thing is having a natural attraction to your partner, regardless of gender, and that's not something you can learn. It's biology. It's either there or it's not and it's not your fault
if the attraction isn't happening such as in your examples with guys.
Also- other people being more sexually experienced shouldn't make you feel bad-we all mature at different rates.
Thank you anon. He had cancer so it was inevitable. I knew it was coming before we moved, but god I didn't think it would literally be the DAY we were finished. It's been the hardest part to keep trying to stay positive through all of this bullshit without even having him to comfort me. He got into a bad chemical once when he was a young cat and I personally think that shit (it was MEDICAL GRADE shit my mom fucking brought home because she's stupid) eventually caused it in him.
Thank you. I got the call back for the second interview today (it's on tuesday) and I'm confident in the one for tomorrow.I've been feeling better since putting in rent yesterday (And actually after I picked fiance up yesterday from work he apologized for being an asshole earlier in the day too which helped) it's just a matter of biding time and having confidence it's going to get better.
I didn't see this one sorry for double post.
I wish it was as funny in person (we just don't have the money and I would've rather have spent it on groceries instead of one meal)
I'm unfortunately getting to a point where I can't talk to him about it. He doesn't handle stress nearly as well as I do so I've kinda buried a lot of it. However, in the past whenever we hit a tough situation this is kinda how i just AM yknow? I end up crying for hours after everything is done and he always supports me then, so I'll get my turn to let it out eventually.
Thanks anon, congrats on the job :) I hope you like it and it pays well!
Poor little thing! Thank you for sharing with me, I definitely agree with your theory as to the cause. It's great he lived so long after actually getting into the chemical, shows how tough and happy he was! (and of course we can't help doing stupid things sometimes)
Great that the interviews are going well too! Fingers crossed for you. Staying calm helps a ton in these situations and I get a sense you are cool, calm and collected which 'll help you through.
Let your family (relevant to your mom) know that your uncle and father contacted you on the sly. Sounds like they are up to something. Since it clearly wasn't a friendly interaction. They probably want money/favors off you and think the decades of no contact can be bypassed when they want something. (I have a similar-ish situation, haha).
You've done the right thing to block. Just make sure everyone knows he contacted you+you are not friends/don't know him as they're probably trying to spread lies amongst your other relatives and so on and so forth. Maintaining the truth and avoiding contact is the best way.