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No. 425085
A thread for anons who do not want kids in any context, whether biological, adopted, or step. Discuss anything relevant to a childfree lifestyle here. Antinatalist viewpoints/discussion welcome.
Previous thread:
>>>/g/156622Please abstain from posting if you have children. No. 425226
>>425201I feel like a lot of them do it hoping that the children will give them the love they are seeking. I know a few people who have done this.
The people I know who have done this aren't even good to their kids, they treat them bad and expect the kids to still love them, it's really selfish.
No. 425329
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>>425201A lot of people convince themselves that they'll "do better" than their own parents and be the opposite of however their parents acted. So then we end up with "gentle parenting" bullshit, aka no parenting at all, which results in the defiant spoiled brats of Gen Alpha we're seeing today.
>>425203It's important to remember that nearly half of all pregnancies are unplanned/unwanted, and often result from casual sex rather than a serious relationship. I don't know why so many people refuse to use condoms and/or bc pills. Then they act surprised that the guy doesn't want to be involved with the kid. I will never understand why women in those situations don't get an abortion instead of giving birth to a kid who will be unloved and traumatized by not having a father. Imagine being the child of picrel. Yes, she really still decided to have the baby after this.
No. 425330
>>425237Being so enmeshed in
abusive families makes it hard to think logically. I'm not defending these people at all btw. They're in the wrong for exposing their kids to the abuser(s) but they're already so fucked up from their own abuse they can't think rationally. It's hard to get out of the cycle
No. 425562
I'm in this limbo where I continuely see kids being hurt or neglected by parents and people always comment "Well, abortion is a thing! Birth control is a thing!", they talk easily like this because here abortion is legal since the 70s but when I say that I don't want kids because I don't think I'll be fit to be a mother I'm suddenly more evil than these poor excuses of human beings that reproduce only to make their children's life miserable? I take birth control, if it fails I'll have an abortion right away but when I say it I'm evil? I don't understand the logic behind this. I'm autistic and very prone to shutdowns, I hate hearing screams and I'm very easily overwhelmed by things, a child is a living being that will die without attention esp. in the early months and I know I can't do that, I always say that kids deserve a loving family and they always go "Well, then you don't love kids??"
I like kids, just not my own and I hate when women get pregnant so easily and say "It happened" no it didn't happend, sex makes children. Children ofc need love but also a stable relationship/a nice environment to grow up in because it's 100% proven and studied that unstable environments and shitty relationships break a child's mind and more often makes them criminals later on in life. I don't understand how this is not basic common sense, I pity single moms who struggle to raise kids because what do you mean you didn't take your time to actually know the person before making a life with him? I'm 8 years in a relationship with my nigel and I don't feel I know him fully and I still don't trust us with children if we had one, how can people make them 1-2 years into the relationship and get surprised when the moid leaves? I'm not blaming these poor women but gee, I wouldn't let a man nut in me so early, I know baby trapping is a thing but I see these women just accepting that and not even taking bc or considering abortion. Birth control should be the standard until someone wants to actively conceive, I see so many unwanted children being abused and it's sad, to me and that's the thing that made me childfree aside me being on the spectrum. I know I cannot provide a perfect life for my kid, I know I won't be able to be always ready for them, I know that I will get overwhelmed and anxious and I tend to shut down so I simply don't have kids. I got autism by my father and my mother tells me how he was cold and weird and then I got anxiety issues by my mother and my dad tells me how she was prone to fits and passing out when I needed medical attention, I love them, I wouldn't be here without them, but I don't want my imaginary child to go through what I went thought so yeah, no. I love my children so much, I wouldn't birth them.
No. 425919
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I’m married and child free. There wasn’t any pressure from my family to have kids. My mom always respected our boundaries and if one of us did then she’s happy for us too. My sister has two kids with her bf. Mom bought them a house the moment my sister announced she was pregnant with the first. They basically bend over backwards for my sister and my sister isn’t grateful at all. During peak pandemic with a newborn my mom bought her a bunch of groceries and my sister screamed at her for buying red onions. They’re also in crazy debt too with taking my out loans for RV, truck, mountain bike and buying shit all the time. We’re not even American and they just blow money and brag about it online. When I visited last my mom was really annoyed they’d bought a truck and told me she refuses to lend them money anymore. One day this is going to catch up to them and they’ll regret making such purchases. Kids are a money trap and good intentioned grandparents make the mistake of spoiling ungrateful parents.
No. 425930
>>425878>The absolutely retarded "a village to raise" meme should go extinct.I hate this so much. You see farmers constantly use that too ("Men are useless, fellow women like mothers, sisters, friends helping raise them is the best!"). I'm childfree and get shit on by you and told I will die alone, but then you go and demand I love your babies and help you based on me being female…?
This is one of the only instances I'm glad to be my parents oldest child and therefore not an aunt for many years yet.
No. 425948
>>425878>>425930I understand that meme in the sense that yeah, motherhood and childhood shouldn’t be spent isolated and everyone needs a community of sorts.
When I hear that meme, it’s always spewed by ungrateful and demanding fucks and in the case of many women, they usually get another woman to replace the father that is either entirely absent or emotionally absent in the family.
No. 426295
>>426286I save money and maintain a healthy lifestyle and hope it's enough. I frankly can't worry too much about it because I think the world is going to be an unliveable hell by time another 50 years have passed anyway.
There lived two brothers together on a small farm in the neighbourhood I grew up in. They never married and never had kids. When they got old they made an arrangement with a local girl I went to school with and her fiance that essentially came down to: you take care of us, you get our home after we pass away. It was a good deal for both of them. Maybe creative solutions like that will become more common as CF people/couples age.
No. 426322
>>426286I think this is the main reason why I (and surely many others as well) are so scared of being childfree. I feel like people in my small rural hometown are mostly fine because everybody has their own house and garden, everybody is so close with everybody, arrangements like
>>426295 can be made and so on.
But now I work in a big city and then I see the old people on the subway there… they seem so lonely, it's so insanely depressing and scary, it makes me feel as if I need to find a man asap just so that I'll never end like that.
But I of course also know that having children just because of that fear would be so selfish. Plus I already struggle with depression, what if post partum would hit me so hard that I feel like I need to end it all? What if I'm one of the 4 out of 10 women who gets left alone by the moid she had kids for? No worse fate than being a single mum.
Just today while mindlessly scrolling yt showed me this video. The comments range from wishing them a happy family life to saying only moids who help like that deserve kids to saying that this isn't even praiseworthy.
But my only thought was: This is a positive example of the future all girls including myself should dream of??? This is the best I could get if I marry and reproduce? What's happy and romantic about this? Not being able to sleep is torture.
And then I look at my current self who sleeps whenever she wants, who can lay in bed as long as she wants (ok, unless work calls), who can play on her phone and eat and in general just do whatever she wants… I think I know what's the right thing for me to do.
No. 426425
>>426328>I'd prefer this choice was taken from meI think this all the time but ngl I just wish I was infertile. Maybe that sounds mean to women who struggle with it, but like I wish I could swap with one of them.
I could cope with being pitied for it, might be a good opportunity to make nosy people feel bad, what I cant cope with is the things people assume about your choices if you dont have kids. That your standards were too high and you're going to regret not settling, that you cant keep a man because you're so awful, that you assumed you could have a kid at 45 and left it too long, etc (all untrue ofc but who believes us). I'd rather they think I had no choice than I was making choices which were wrong/dumb/arrogant.
No. 426488
>>426258Yep. It's all about how much money they have and all the luxury vacations they go on. I can't relate to that shit at all.
>>426286I will honestly probably kill myself once I can't work anymore and start developing health issues. I don't see any joy in that. Also agree with
>>426318, a lot of people just stick their parents/grandparents in nursing homes, at least in the US. Having kids doesn't guarantee they will like you or take care of you.
No. 428496
>>426328It’s a matter of how you are perceived by those around you. I don’t act like someone who cares about children.
The gay moid at work gets asked about having kids one day more often than me since he’s often talks about being an uncle.
No. 429644
>>429603No you're definitely right, I was actually talking about this with some friends, I dont think it was a coincidence that the Kardashians were being pushed so hard a few years ago and lauded for popping out tons of babies, I know a lot of young women irl who actually decided to have a baby because they saw Kylie Jenner doing it on TV when she was 20. Men are really fucking
triggered and upset by women who don't want kids tbh, and since media is mostly male-run I'm not surprised at all there's a massive push for pregnancy content directed at teens and young women. The tradwife content on tiktok the last couple years (which is a CCP/Chinese owned platform, and Chinese moids are also seething at the fact Chinese women dont want kids anymore) also felt very forced and inorganic.
No. 429701
>>429644I'm so glad I'm not alone in this. It feels like every single social media has something about pregnancy. I go onto Snapchat and it's stories about pregnant women, I go onto Twitter this morning and the first thing I see is a woman being upset that her third child isn't a boy. I go on YouTube, a ton of family vlogger content or even crazier shit like shorts of mothers making food for their 5 kids.
>I know a lot of young women irl who actually decided to have a baby because they saw Kylie Jenner doing it on TV when she was 20. This is such a beyond horrific reasoning to have children. Because you saw your fave celeb do it, so you must too! It is even scarier that the things this crazy algorithm is working on is stupid people who shouldn't ever have children.
>The tradwife content on tiktok the last couple years (which is a CCP/Chinese owned platform, and Chinese moids are also seething at the fact Chinese women dont want kids anymore) also felt very forced and inorganic.I almost forgot about this trend but you're so right. it was totally being pushed everywhere. SAHM content is definitely popping up more and more too.
No. 431519
>>425878When other people become responsible for other people’s children, they will also feel entitled to mold the child with their own set of values and to correct the child’s behavior if it’s too antisocial, weird or whatever for the group’s taste; In the past something like this hardly caused friction because It was more common for the group to share their own set of values.
Also, when you are in “the village” you are expected to contribute to It in some way or another, let’s be honest, many people who preach about It aren’t suitable for because they DON’T want to contribute.
Most of the complains about the lack of a village are simply women pissed at other women and trying to guilt trip them into free labor. You will hardly see them guilt tripping men to do something.
No. 431533
>>431531>>431530I think it's a misery loves company situation. It's crazy because so many women get really
triggered. If they were happy with their lives and didn't regret motherhood, they wouldn't have these reactions. I was the parentified oldest daughter and had to take care of my brother who's 10 years younger than me right when he was born. I know how hard and awful raising children is which is why I've never wanted kids. Kek I've had the childree mindset since I was a literal child.
No. 431539
>>431530"I had to do it so you do, too."
See also: religious handmaiden mothers and arranged marriages, or aunties getting upset when you say your spouse does half of the chores and cooks.
No. 431546
>>431426>>431445in my experience boomer women are super dishonest about it but millennial and gen x women have been straightforward but vague about it with me, "yes it really sucks/it's painful/awkward/don't like how it changed my body" type responses
>>431530>>431531it hurts my feelings too, but ironically enough the women who have been rude to me about it are/were both single moms with 2 different baby daddies. my hairdresser once asked my mom when i was about 21 "don't you think she owes you children" and my mom just gave her a weird look and said "no." i chalk it up to "misery loves company" too. some of us have known since we were a single digit age we don't want kids and effectively use contraceptives. it makes them angry because they suffered so they think all women should too.
for years now i don't elude to being CF unless i know i'm with a woman who is CF or otherwise supports women being CF. we do not owe anyone an explanation for not wanting kids.
No. 431608
>>431422i don't know and we have kind of been growing apart. we have the conversation sometimes and it pains me how differently we view life and having children. we talked about it before i left for work and like every time we were both crying and i hate to see him in pain. he is the type of person who wants kids so bad he doesn't understand why some people wouldn't want them. he is kind to me about my views but this is killing me. he'd think i'm selfish if i said i wanted someone to put me first forever (i'd put a childfree guy first too). it makes me hardly ever want to go on dates outside where we could see families with kids.
i even get a little mad sometimes about his relationship with his niece because it is like driving a stake into my heart how much he loves spawn and wants his own and that i am not truly first, i will never have kids period but if we did i would become the "uptight, nagging" mom in the background that would become forgotten about and i can't stress how much i would hate that existence. i wish i truly felt special, he says i am to him but i'm not really special to him, kids will always be more special to him. inb4 "you're a retard" yeah so consider this post a cautionary tale for CF anons, you can be really attracted to someone with large differences than you and get swept up and before you know it reality hits you in the face hard.
No. 431700
>>431622There's nothing wrong with being on your own for a while, though. You don't necessarily have to exchange your current guy for a downgrade. You can just leave him and do some reflecting in solitude. Not to mention that it's gonna help you with your insecurity issues, once you leave the comfort the guy brings you, you'll get plenty of opportunities to prove your own competence to yourself as a standalone deal.
Back when I used to entertain the idea of getting a bf (several years back), I met one who was perfect on paper. Then I sent him some meme about not being able to swim, he said "my kids better swim or else." He spoke about having kids as not an "if" but a "when". I blocked him right then and there. I wouldn't stay with a man who wants to get me pregnant, you shouldn't either, noni.
No. 432132
I'm not an antinatalist, just don't want to raise kids. I don't hate them either, I think they're goofy but I like quiet relaxation too much. If I get lonely as an old biddy I may adopt an older one, but for now I've done my time as an oldest sibling and that was enough for me.
When I worked as a special ed TA for a year in college I saw some horrendous things, and that along with my parents' and sister's marriage cemented my decision to never ever in a billion years have kids, or rely on a man for 'helping' with anything. Ain't seen better escape artists than fathers of sped children, or less support for moms.
>>431796You don't need to have reasons for not wanting kids, simply not wanting any is good enough. Kids born out of obligation don't exactly have a fun time growing up. If anyone asks, just say you had cancer or put on some loud waterworks to embarrass them.
No. 434264
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What do you all think of the term “breeders”? I got told I shouldn’t say it because it was a word with ties to racism and slavery but then what the fuck do we call freaks like picrel?
No. 434947
>>434264I generally call them religious freaks who think they're the chosen people creating god's army, because that's what they are and that's where the line of thinking comes from. see also: quiverfull.
I don't know who told you it's tied to racism and slavery lmao, that's hilarious. they got you. if someone hears the word "breeder" and they first thing they think is slavery that's a them problem.
No. 435091
>>434947People like Vance or Musk aren't preaching this for religious reasons though, they are more into the great replacement theory stuff, i.e. we need more white children to outbreed the other races.
And then it ends with Musk having a gazillion children and caring for exactly none of them (parading one of them around for photo ops doesn't count).
No. 435586
>>435584Also want to add, I had pretty horrific formative experiences with others in childhood. Physical abuse, sexual abuse, psychological and verbal abuse. I also witnessed other children being abused, often by their own parents, and the kids I met who were without parents were abused even worse. I saw really horrible, terrible things being done to kids as a child myself, both by adults and other kids/bullies.
But then others would always tell me 'most people are good, you just had bad experiences/encounters, you should still keep your mind open to the overall goodness of people'. As a retarded teen I forced myself to believe that and really tried to believe humanity is overall good and most people are decent, but from more life experience and exposure since then I've come to realize most people are pretty shit at best, or just downright evil and selfish a lot of the time. I'm misanthropic as fuck and only get moreso as I get older. Honestly I think most people do.
No. 435619
>>435584welcome to the dark side
nonnie, i'm not an antinatalist but have been childfree since i learned how babies are made and that it's a choice. agree, would never want to be in the position of carrying a moid's child, no matter how much i love him. look at how so many change for the worse after a woman goes through pregnancy and childbirth for them, so many don't help at all with the baby, lose all interest in her, cheat, troon out, etc.
No. 435638
>>435584I was going to say I agree but because of the abuse I ensured as a child then I saw your second post. So many turn a blind eye.
I used to think I'd like kids just so I could nurture them the way I wasn't, but the more I've grown the more bleak everything is. Why bring more into this?
No. 436579
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>>425203Absolutley there is some sort of "destruction" fetish going on with it. I always felt crazy for thinking this but it's true.
No. 436620
>>436579Black men are particularly awful for weaponizing motherhood against women. I remember that tiktok of the dumb Slav woman who said her black ex told her he impregnated her twice because he knew not many men are going to want to date a single mom with two black kids.
They literally just impregnate women to 'mark their territory' then bounce, to the point its a stereotype, and women are left to pick up the pieces.
Though Latino and White men are beginning to catch up with black mens shittiness on how often they leave women as single mothers nowadays too. As usual, black men insist on dragging the rest of society down to hell with them.
No. 436629
>>436579She is way too good looking for him omg she needs to run AWAY.
>>436621 I am shocked that she married that thing someone fix her eyes
No. 436718
>>436652NTA but it's not true that BPDchans solely get into relationships with good men. Look at all the male """
victims""" of BPDettes on Reddit who come across as wishy-washy manipulators even in their biased accounts.
No. 436814
>>436812it was never about saving the babies they just hate women having any autonomy whatsoever and want our lives ruined with children
its very telling that men are desperate to force women to give birth and become mothers, if it was good for us and for our benefit, then men wouldnt advocate so much for it, because men hate anything that benefits women
No. 436845
>>436830yep they love making women pregnant because it gives her permanent body changes that 'mark her' as used by him and a woman having children dissuades most other men from pursuing too. its not surprising that repeated pregnancies are a mainstay in many
abusive relationships
No. 445033
>>444902The low birthrates are more because women are having LESS children, like 1 or 2 instead of 3-5, not because of the still tiny population of women who don't have any kids (which always existed anyway).
Women who don't have children are always going to be the target of particular vitriol regardless, because they can avoid a lifetime of being tied to a man and performing services for him. Men simply can't have that.
No. 445049
>>444902Lol, it has nothing to do with "muh race dying out", "muh human race ending" or "the future of muh children and culture"—the more women choose to be childfree the more women will avoid men, so that means means the average man's access to an ~intimate, life-changing, soul bonding, act~ aka sticking his crusty penis inside a vagina (whether it's consensual or not) then ejaculating in it—
lessens. Literally, that's
it.