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No. 332620
>>332614Thank you for your reply! I have around 1.5 years left before turning 30, and it feels like my life is ending due to the regular male rhetoric and media portrayals. It also doesn’t help that early 20s women talk about women over 30 like they’re hags. I have also always looked younger than my age, so I guess it’s not aging itself that is scaring me (I know I’ll look okay for a long time) - it’s wearing the “30 badge” and potentially being looked at as lesser because of it. I don’t want children, so that’s also I factor - because people judge women so heavily for that.
I’m not sure I’m content in my relationship, but now I’m afraid to consider leaving because of the idea that most men prefer younger woman (20-24).
I posted Taylor for this thread because she’s 33 , and to me looks even better than her previous years. Plus she seems to be thriving and really enjoying her life, more so every year.
No. 332646
29 here. I really don't feel it. I dont care much about the age I guess, but I do feel a little weird when I remember how old I am yet still don't seem to know how to socialize? I am good at one off things. Just never could figure out how to just fit in somewhere. One good thing about getting older is that there does seem to be less pressure to be in constant contact with people, and the outings can be both goofy and mature at the same time. Time boundaries get respected a little more. I gained a little weight from some meds that basically do the ambien thing and I would eat a lot at night…working on it. Im bmi 26 ish maybe 27 I think. I really, really dont want to hit 30 being overweight. I used to be borderline buff, life happened then covid happened and now it is now and idk where my muscle went. Its floppy and I have more cellulite. I also have quite the collection of thick black chin hairs I suspect are part weight related, part age related, and part med side effect related. So I guess i am mourning the body I seem to have lost kek. But I am very motivated in finding a gym to get re buffed, its just everything around me is awful or really expensive. My 'career' is kind of a joke, kind of not. Idk. Ive made great progress for myself considering my personal circumstances, but, most people who go my pathway have me feeling like my business is basically a kids lemonade stand. My gray hair started coming in a few years ago, but this year the amount has exploded. I stright up love it. I love my bright silver strands. Cannot wait for more. Idk. I am both more lonely than I expected to be, but more secure in keeping my own company rather than embarrassed now. Weird times.
No. 332654
32 and just enjoying a peaceful chill life.
I feel more confident than I was when I was younger, I guess now because I know what I like, don't like, not afraid to tell men to fuck off, and make enough money to travel, work out, and pursue hobbies. Got lucky to marry a chill partner who also doesn't want kids, so we're just enjoying life and saving for retirement.
So far aging hasn't bothered me, maybe because I still look young so it hasn't hit me yet. But also for a long time I've worked out, eat healthy, yoga, and focused on skincare over make up. So I don't feel physically different neither, just happier now that I have muscles. So the earlier you can start some sort of any physical activity, the better you'll feel when you get older.
And I've noticed as I reached 30 I've gotten a protective eye over younger girls out in public when creepy moids go near them. The advice I want to and try to give to any young girl is don't do hook ups/one night stands with any dude, nothing about it is worth it. You're not going to orgasm, it's dangerous, and chances are he's a loser. Especially since redpilled scrotes are so common now.
And I guess these days I've been reminiscing about my childhood. I think being a kid in the 90s was the sweet spot. Young enough for a normal healthy childhood before technology got big but then got to enjoy internet/tech in pre-teens. Thinking back on N64, playstation and ps2, 90s anime, 90s movies, children cartoons, Adult Swim, Toonami, etc. I dunno how zoomers feel about their pop culture, but I still think the 90s was the best kek. But now parents just put an ipad into their toddler's hands asap, and seems like gaming addiction is on a new level so people are losing socialization skills. Rip 90s
No. 332678
>>332632hello fellow homeschool
victim. didn't know there was more than one of us here.
No. 332692
>>332685I enjoy a much wider range of foods now but the taste-change happened in my twenties not thirties. The only benefit I'm getting with my thirties is just from the experience of having eaten and cooked more things. I can tell why some food is bad (like in what way someone cooked it or what cheap ingredient was used) and I've tasted better food than I thought I could taste. Honestly it's a double edged sword because some of my old favorite treats taste crappy to me now… I'll never enjoy kraft mac again.
I used to think it was just something my dad complained about but now I too genuinely think almost everything has too much salt in it. I love salt but it's ruining some foods.
No. 332745
I'm turning 30 next year and it's… weird. I never thought I'd be this old. I always figured I'd be dead. I think I've really grown emotionally and socially over the last decade but there's still more to do lol
I still live at home because we're in one of those crazy rental markets and a social worker's salary just won't cut it. (Fun fact, there's multiple social workers and human services employees on public benefits in my county!) But I'll be getting a raise next year and if things don't get worse (kek) I'll move out. I was on my own in college and liked it. It's just leaving my family behind for real is strange and foreign to me.
>>332732Hey, 94 baby! I'm a late 94 but yeah, once you're out of high school, it's hard to meet people in your birth year.
No. 332753
>>332732my sister in law shares my birth year but we are in such wildly different situations I don't feel like she's the same age as me (our personal lives are equal sort of but she has a PhD and just feels more grown up to me). Literally never met anyone else born my birth year (not even school because I skipped a grade and then got homeschooled which sucked).
That's something I wish I did in my twenties but I was just too scared: go to school. Get an associates or something. Maybe my thirties will be the time….
Sort of on-topic: the way there's a 5-minute shorts show called Turning Girls about "girls who face a battle against the turning point of their lives" (turning 30) and the finale is ridiculous and makes fun of expiring when you turn 30 if anyone wants to watch it (start at the beginning if you want to know the characters, it's short and one of them is absolutely a cow).
No. 332776
What a nice idea.
I'm 37 at the moment, honestly didn't really realise my change from 29 to 30 as I've been going strong with depression, self-harm, ED, alcohol and bullshit like that. It only hit me some years ago well into my 30s that I'm doing and feeling better than before, I'm calmer, I don't care about most of the bullshit and stupid people around me and I've learned to ask for help when I need to. I'm also mostly cured from all this things destroying me while younger and that's a big relief.
What I still don't get is having children and the need to "dress your age". I've been thinking about it a lot lately after a class reunion and most of them had children by now, but it just isn't something for me and I'm very much okay with it. Dressing my age, well, no, I will continue wearing skinny jeans and band shirts (and sometimes galaxy leggings)
The most important thing I learned so far is that you are never too old to change and learn. I finished my apprenticeship in my early 30s, got another degree a year later and still think about going back to university because I fucked up my degree years ago with all the mental health shit going on at that time. As long as I'm breathing I can change things and learn stuff.
The only thing I'm sad about is the lack of people that are like me, without family, children, just free. I sometimes miss being out at night, going home in the morning and not caring about a thing in the world. And I regret being poor and not having a house with a garden by now, kek.
So, my advice to nonnas turning 30s, it's not so bad. Honestly, my mental health issues got way better and other women my age confirmed that, you will be more confident and know what is going on with you and you really don't care about a wrinkle here or there. One sad thing is that you will lose people along the way and it will hurt and you will remember them but that is just life.
>>332632just wanted to say Hi, nice to see someone here that is older than mid 30. Hope you are doing amazing.
No. 332793
Just chiming in to say I’m 30 and besides being physically weaker due to my own laziness, I’m somehow at my peak. Putting in the work in my early 20s paid off and I still have a good physique and muscle tone. I didn’t start taking care of my skin (properly) until I was like 27 but luckily my genetics (and the fact that I couldn’t afford to go tanning back when that was trendy) carried me to having good skin. Anyone approaching 30 please don’t freak out because life is good!
>>332716This is true for most people, including me. But it just depends bc obviously someone can fall onto hard times at any point. At 30+ though you’re better mentally equipped to deal with things.
No. 332809
>>332627I've been trying to find women who are 30+ or at the very least 25+ in my fandoms, I wish they were easier to find. I tend to be wary of public Discords since I hate having to walk on eggshells around gendie/shipping anti types but it still bums me out when the rules have an age limit like "18+ but no one over 30" even though I don't really want to talk to the vast majority of 18-24s anyway.
When I was in high school, the cool and respected people in my fandoms were the ones in their 30s happily posting their fanfics and fanart, but now it seems to be the other way around where now they're reviled and seen as automatically "creepy" or "have taxes to pay/kids to raise" even though most of us want to stick in our own corner and have been in these communities for over a decade anyway.
No. 332830
>>332620Jesus christ anon, in the kindest way possible, please snap out of it. Deranged trolling has skewed your perception of desirability. The idea that you’re too old to risk leaving a relationship is part of the incel cope for actually unwanted, unsavoury men. Sort things out with your partner and break up if needed. You don’t want to be miserable in the future saying “I married my husband because I didn’t think I could get another boyfriend at 28”. Do whichever so you can come back to reality and rebuild your self esteem.
And stop taking obvious lies meant to insult you at face value or as the truth. It’s group effort negging to make you easier to trap because men fear joining that huge population of leftover men (demographic most prone to suicide). Literally all straight men are attracted to 30s women, it’s just bitter resentment and posturing that make some say otherwise and you don’t want to even know those types, so don’t worry about their rhetoric. You won’t have trouble dating. Any jaded incel will tell you that when his rage settles back into sadness. Old men stuck on “20-24” y.os aren’t looking to treat any woman well either.
Finally, instead of fearing 30 and feeling old when you’re not, picture yourself decades ahead looking back on yourself today. Do those felt limitations still make sense? What would actually make you happy to do now? Sorry if I was condescending, I just can’t stand seeing the manipulation grip women.
No. 332862
This post isn't about aging.
I never used to have it in my head that I was raped, because I blamed myself for it. Even though I said no many times and tried to push him off, I somehow got it in my head that I sent the wrong signals. I was married to him, after all (I got married before I was 21, do not recommend.) I was reading an article on rape in history and it seems so cliché but all these things flooded in. I have an impeccable memory and yet - my brain hid these experiences from the common record. It took that article to make me remember so much. I've been raped. I've been assaulted prior to that. Numerous times. I've never given enthusiastic consent to a man aside from a handful of times (trying to make marriage work - can't call that anything but mutual, though I hated it). I was a virgin when I got married. And now I don't even know if I have a sexuality.
Why were we blamed so much for what men did to us? Why was our childhood and coming of age a miasma of guilt and shame? I am not envious of younger women but dismayed that in my 30s I see how abused and neglected we were as young women. How I was brought up to feel only shame, despite being a "good girl." I got married to an abuser to escape an abusive household environment. And now I'm alone. I don't care how old I am now. I care about those of us who will never have the support we deserved. It's just so sad.
The romanticization of mental illness and trauma among well… people my age and younger, too, has also made it harder to feel OK about asking for help or addressing some of the wounds. I guess it should feel easier, but instead it feels like if I got through life this far, I should be able to continue.
Do we ever get to stop sacrificing and compromising for a little while? Sometimes I look back at things I have accomplished and I can't even acknowledge I did them. It's like I have no idea how I produced those things. That's not dissociation or anything, just a profound and perpetual inadequacy no matter what. Is it that people our age needed external validation to thrive? and if we didn't get that, if we hopped from abuse to abuse to demented boss to demented superviaor, we ended up so fucking broken and sad that we can't even own the products of our own toil? I can't relate or respond to any of these self-empowerment things: they are all so fake and shallow. Am I too old? Too aware? How do you fix this mindset of never feeling good about yourself as a 30+ woman?
No. 332880
>>332862I’m not sure how to help you, but I wanted to say I had a similar experience and you’re not alone.
I was 20, about to turn 21 when I started an immediately serious relationship with a 33 year old. He raped me on Christmas. It took me a while to understand it was rape - he was upset about an ex that he last heard from around Christmas. I was tired and high, I didn’t want sex at all. He forced himself on me despite my being obviously uninterested and very annoyed about it. I sort of just laid down and let it happen after a few minutes of light struggling and saying no. I remember thinking afterwards “was that rape?”. Brushed it under the rug and stayed with him for another three years. I wish I had respected myself more between the ages of 20-23. I’m 28 now. Wasting my early 20s with that guy is my biggest regret. Should have been enjoying myself instead
Another horrible aspect of that relationship - while I was drunk on one of our first nights together I let him give me a small stick n poke on my hip. He carved his name next to it with a knife. I thought it was so romantic and edgy, since he also said that way nobody would want me again knowing I belong to him. The next year I let him do the same on my knee, again while fucked up. Now I have to live with those and see them every time I take off my clothes and it makes me sick
No. 332889
>>332885If you look at some famous actresses, some got their best roles in their 30s, not their 20s. Not only that, they look absolutely elegant and just as beautiful as they did in their 20s. I think about this a lot. 20s are essentially a continuation of teenage years, brain forms around 25, then 30s are the true prime years if you care for yourself in your 20s. Moids/incels love 20-somethings because they are essentially close to being teens, naive, easier to manipulate, and less sure of themselves. It’s a sad fact but also empowering. So many women simply blossom in their 30s. I look at photos of my mother in her 30s and she was absolutely stunning, so elegant and beautiful, and if one didn’t know her age you could assume she was 25 throughout the entire duration of her 30s. Nearing 50, and she is still gorgeous, with the added aspect of looking wiser, calmer, and kinder. Imo women aren’t even old until 50.
What really irks me is the zoomer generation and their obsession with “old” people - they seriously act like 25+ is geriatric. I wonder if any of them have the self awareness to recognize they’re right behind us, and their 20s will fly by. I hope they’ll be able to cope okay when they start hitting that milestone… it’s sad thinking all around.
No. 332920
>>332875>>332880thank you, nonnies, for relating to my vent. I am so sorry you both suffered with things I mentioned and I wish I could take those burdens from you.
And yes, it does sting a bit to see society bend over backwards and indulge someone's mental illness, knowing how horribly we were treated as kids. Mental illness was taboo. You didn't talk about it. Autism was flapping hands and people who memorized calendars. There wasn't nuance at all. Maybe we are stronger because of that but we can never erase the scars of growing up in that environment. And my theory is that eccentric behavior was largely tolerated up until the mid 80s. Things somehow changed then, some kind of rebound conservatism or association of strangeness / atypical behavior with drugs.
No. 332928
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>>332908Hey mcrfag, i was the OP who interacted with the teen. She was engaging, fun, and nice. Most teens suck but so do most adults. And honestly, teens are still developing and learning. A lot like us being in our 30s- we also are works in progress.
I think some teens are weird, but they have grown up in a era of social media (beyond basic myspace and blogs), they have grown up connected with smartphones, and also made it through a very isolating pandemic.
I dont mind the younger fans/ enthusiasts. I myself am a former mcrfag now.
the whole gway in dresses, being sexual for a crowd of teens weirds me outConsider it flattery theres kids loving the emo era.
No. 332968
>>332654>I've noticed as I reached 30 I've gotten a protective eye over younger girls out in public when creepy moids go near them.That's just jealousy over not getting any attention, nothing more. Be honest with yourself.
I think humans were never meant to live this long and it's all pretty much done and over after 30. For reference I'm 37, and while my life is perfectly in order there's really nothing out there anymore. You run the gamut on all experiences and human interactions by the time you go over thirty, and everything beyond that is just a boring and predictable slog. Yes you can do dumb shit and travel, party, pick up hobbies and so on but it's all just a smokescreen that hides utter boredom. Everyone knows it and nobody has the guts to admit it, but it's the truth. None of this has anything to do with youth or beauty per se, but the way humanity is. There's a hard limit on how much emotional content there is in life.
No. 332973
>>332970Depression completely evaporated out of me by the time I was 22 or so. No Nonna, I really mean it - there's a hard limit to emotional content one can have in life and it covers everything from depression to blissful happiness. It all becomes a samey experience in the end, you stop feeling strongly because you are intellectually aware of how emotions come and go, and you've experienced them all many, many times.
>>332971The point I was making is that that hag, and I'm an even older hag, is "looking out" for younger women out of jealousy and a desire to sabotage potential relationships and happiness (no matter how transitory) that can develop between a man and a woman. She's just clothing this in some bogus sentiment about how she's an oh so noble and motherly mamma bear. It's all just a lie.
Take care of yourself, by yourself. Only you know how to do that and what is right or wrong for you. Every "motherly" hag is a piece of shit and I struggled a lot to come to that conclusion about myself too. Older women will always try to sabotage the younger with their "good intentions." Be careful out there. Men are predictable, other women are more sinister and insidious, and vicious.
No. 332981
>>332973This hag talk is quite suspicious.
I really value the friendships I have with some much older women btw, everyone is different and many are kind and supportive to younger women
>>332968>think women helping other women who are being creeped on are jealousWTF
No. 333005
>>332889>20s are essentially a continuation of teenage years, brain forms around 25, then 30s are the true prime years if you care for yourself in your 20s. Moids/incels love 20-somethings because they are essentially close to being teens, naive, easier to manipulate, and less sure of themselves.I think 20+ year olds are still adults, but I do judge anyone past their 20s who only date 18-24 year olds, I find younger adults so unattractive and baby-faced. I think I'm more attractive now than I was when I was 22.
>What really irks me is the zoomer generation and their obsession with “old” people - they seriously act like 25+ is geriatric.I notice the current generation in their early 20s now are more immature than the people who were 20 a decade ago. When I was in my early 20s I didn't have a second thought about being 25-30+ one day, but to zoomers it's the end of the world. I'm looking forward to the rest of my thirties but my least favorite thing about it is you're either put in the boxes of "too old"/"a hag" or a "MILF"/"cougar".
>>332968I can't even put into words how retarded this post is.
No. 333051
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I'm 50. Weirdly, it's really great as everyone my age is old and an uggo. And if you do the bare minimum of looking after yourself and getting some exercise in, everything is really peachy. (Also you have more money so that is a plus).
I found this is the age when all the ex-boyfriends of my teens and early twenties start trying to get back into contact. I've put effort in to getting back into contact with my unrequited crush, who has grown up to be a wonderful man (sadly married, as I am, so we have a platonic friendship). Now that the bulk of family stuff is over, you can go back to doing the stuff you REALLY liked, but without the weight of "what are you gonna do with your life" hanging over your head. Sure, there's a bit of retirement planning, but this is the BEST time.
No. 333080
>>333074At 25 I was in an
abusive relationship with a piece of shit scrote and wasting away in a windowless cubicle. Wanted to kms but was too busy working to really think about how bad things were. Now I’m 30, in a healthy relationship (started at 26 and still going strong), work from home and get to do whatever I want with my time. I still have struggles but I’m happy and even though I’m not rich at all, there isn’t much I want that I don’t or can’t have (main thing is a house but that’s like 90% of people my age so I don’t feel too bad)
No. 333092
>>332968This is
toxic, leave this thread. Your thinking is exactly what perpetuates the stereotypes. Get help. Fix your thinking. Seek therapy, but don’t spread your bullshit rhetoric here.
No. 333105
>>33307425 - living in hometown, awful relationship with ex, no assets, no therapy, depressed
Now - new city, married, homeowner, regular therapy, less depressed
No. 333144
>>333074I'm not old but at 25 I was struggling to be employed, on a cocktail of meds that made me dissociated from reality, and going through an eating disorder. At 31 I've been having a steady (albeit annoying sometimes) job, my lifestyle is more healthy/natural besides the electronics, and while I struggle with a social life in the middle of nowhere I'm not living in my head constantly.
>>333059This is also just a general discussion for 30+ women, this isn't all femcel whining over "hitting the wall". Plenty of posts are happy besides the bait.
No. 333148
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Noémie Merlant. Saw her in Baby Ruby yesterday, she had this youthful energy about her and I was assuming she was mid-20s. She’s actually 34! Pictures don’t do her justice, she’s gorgeous in motion. Also loved her at 30/31 in Portrait of a Lady on Fire.
She also actively speaks out about the objectification of women.
No. 333153
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Adèle Haenel, speaking of Lady on Fire. Currently 34, 30 at the time of this pic. Recently quit the film industry openly due to their complacency towards sexual predators. Was manipulated and sexually abused at a young age and was very open about what happened. Lovely woman all around, and so strikingly beautiful
No. 333154
>>333074with 25 I was unemployed, couldn't leave the house, depressed, suicidal and just got kicked from university. Now in my 30s I have an education, will soon have a nice job and my mental health is like "healthy". I'm not suicidal anymore, only a little bit depressed, but I'm doing better than ever. Sure, there are one or two things that are still a struggle for me and I regret stuff, but back then I didn't know any better, as I didn't have any help from the outside and fought my battles alone. Best thing about being older, I don't care what most people think about me anymore and it's so nice to just be who you are without trying to impress someone. There is always hope if you let it happen and if you try to change the things that make you feel miserable.
No. 333195
>>333189history is full of late bloomers, you may not have come anywhere near your peak yet. you can do anything at nearly any age once you're an adult. tons of people have had a eureka moment in their 40s and 50s and started a successful business/hustle or invented some random knick knack that made them a millionaire.
or just work a normal job and save up. there is gonna be a big market collapse during the 2020s for sure, dont invest shit right now wait for the next great depression and get into the market after a bubble pop and wait for things to rebound. gonna be a huge tech bubble pop soon mark my words.
No. 333309
>>333277>why was everyone in this thread having a horrible time at 25I wasn't, through I had my own ups and downs over the years of course. They are just replying to
>>333189 and
>>333074 who asked specifically for people who overcame their troubled 20's
No. 333406
>>333372Nah I look and feel better than ever. Like
nonnie said here
>>333384, invest in health. When I was I was in my early 20s I didn't do much physically. But once you start working out and get toned, or any muscle gains, you'll look and feel so much better. And now I can afford to choose better quality clothing.
I stopped doing 98% of my make up except some little liner and mascara, but no longer use foundation or anything that cakes on. Just obsessively use sunscreen and a skincare routine. Looking back I regret using so much make up because thats just what everyone else did. Personally, most women look perfectly fine naturally imo. Take care of your skin and you'll be fine. And just the ignore the minority of loser redpilled scrotes who say women hit the wall at 25.
No. 333409
>>333372I finally filled out at 32. My body looks better than in my 20s with very basic exercise and eating heaps of veggies. I've got a bit of volume loss in the face but it's not noticeable if I'm hydrated and use HA lotion.
You just have to be a little more intentional in your 30s.
>>333377Yes! I haven't needed to drag my husband or male friend everywhere to ward off horny pests for a few years. I'm so much more relaxed in public now.
No. 333443
>>333074At 25 I was dating and so humiliatingly in love with a manipulative, cheating addict, had no job + I had my degree but was too depressed to do anything with it, was living with my dad in a two-bedroom apartment. I was an alcoholic to the point that I had pretty severe physical symptoms and my 26th birthday I got so embarrassingly shit-canned at National Harbor that I don’t think I can go back to like any establishment there (including the Peeps store.) I’m 30 now and haven’t talked to the
abusive ex in any capacity in three years - which is a feat because I literally was so brainwashed I believed my only reason to live was to love him. I started a really good career at 27 and got the 6 figure salary promotion a few weeks after my 29th birthday. I bought a house with my Nigel, who is a good and kind and trustworthy man who has a real job and real priorities. I’m 2 years and 7 months sober.
I still get depressed, and at 30 and sober it’s different and hard now for me to reconcile. I thought if I fixed my life’s circumstances things would get better and they did, significantly, but there’s still that nagging feeling with the added pressure that I have so so so so much to lose now if I were to ever backslide. I also have this complex around my looks because when I was constantly fucking up everything around me, at the very least I was always fuckable. It’s hard that I can see myself aging and to know that I’m losing it little by little - hair’s thinning, varicose veins, little bit of turkey neck, etc. I think I always knew that aging would fuck with me but I had hoped I would’ve made my peace with it by now, but I guess I have a backlog of things to work through that I just drank about for 15 years. I think I’ll get there eventually though. There’s still so much time.
No. 333457
I am turning 32 in a few months from now and I'm trying to turn my life around. I'm so behind everything due to years of depression, falling for troon bullshit and neetdom. I'm trying to get in college to get a career. I'd like to have a relationship but I don't really feel this is so urgent as I used to when I was in my late teens/early 20s. Like, I'm open to it but not looking that deep because I know I have to fix up my problems and have at least a bit of economic stability before I can accomodate a partner or whatever and I am not interested in casual relationships at all. So I don't feel so bad about not having a kid or being married/dating because I know it could only end badly in my current situation. I never really thought badly on being single probably because my family never pressured me into a relationship, quite the opposite, my mom always told me to not have kids so soon and also to not marry a guy like my dad kekk. My dad reinforced these teachings by just being himself. I guess that really saved me from being stuck with some retard and a kid.
I expect to get into college next year and I guess if I'm unable to for whatever reason I can still get a job. I don't know what exactly I could be doing if I don't get into college, never planned that far because I'm always afraid of making too many plans and having none of them coming to fruition. All I know is that I just can't keep living like a man, wasting my life doing absolutely nothing. Besides I have my mom to take care of.
On the bright side, I look much better nowadays than in my teens and early 20s. I mean, yeah, I am kinda ugly but I grew into my features and don't look so awkward anymore. Also I don't care anymore about what people think of my choices of wardrobe, I dress whatever I want and I made peace with the fact there are some things I can't change and there is no reason to change them. If not for other people making me feel this way, I don't think I'd ever feel uncomfortable in my skin, and I know that now, which really killed any desires I had during my early teens/20s to change my body in any way, plastic surgery would never fix the issues I have, it would only make them worse. Oh, and I don't have this fear I had during my teens of getting older anymore, I just don't care.
All I miss about being a teen is not having this fucked back. Also I regret not exercising in my 20s.
No. 333621
>>333529Sadly not, moids are shit as soon as they hit puberty and it never ends.
Women in 30s tend to say "All good men are taken by now" but from what I have seen a lot of women who started their relationship early in their 20s and settle with their moids have come to peace with eating shit.
Also women who get to 30s and go into panic mode so they settle for a moid also give up and eat a lot of shit.
The only way is to learn to be content with being alone and only accept a moid in your life if he brings value. Age does not matter.
No. 333643
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Gal Gidot is 38 and grew into her features so beautifully. Imo she looks even better than she did in her 20s, and it seems her career straight skyrocketed when she entered her 30s. Incel moids drool over her as Wonder Woman and I don’t think it even clicks for them that she’s well into her 30s lol
No. 333644
File: 1686059492859.jpeg (68.58 KB, 634x896, IMG_8239.jpeg)
Elizabeth Olsen is 34, and I recently saw a movie from years ago when she was in her 20s. She looked exactly the same. She was also stunning in Love & Death
No. 333646
File: 1686059663390.jpeg (464.02 KB, 2048x2048, IMG_8240.jpeg)
Margot Robbie - has looked exactly the same for the last decade. Playing Barbie at 32. She always looks so full of life and like she’s just enjoying every year to the fullest, and always excelling. Love her.
No. 333668
>>333660If you think it's a bait, why are you replying? Also sis? Kek. Did you come from some underground tea forum?
Also this thread is filled with delusional old women who are failures in life just like how 4chan is filled with old men who are failures in life. Both groups are too old to be wasting their time shit-posting instead of trying to improve their lifes and both groups have mental disorders or underlying traumas that make it hard for them to fit in.
Instead of being worried about serious things, both groups care more about how they're perceived as unattractive and romantically undesirable
>>333666 post is an example as she types paragraphs being angry some incel told her that she's no longer hot. Normal women don't care about pedo incels, only losers like you guys do.
(infighting) No. 333686
>>333679Agreed re:beauty, I get the original nonna's intention, but the focus on having maintained youth is not a good priority. Taking care of yourself and maintaining your grooming/health is good, but those posts are skewed more towards maintaining desirability and proving to moids that women are still valuable for sex last 30.
I don't think there's anything wrong with celebrating a woman returning to school past 30, though. School is an actual important axis of self-development in most countries, and a gateway to being able to financially support yourself as an independent woman. Too many nonnas believe that just because they were put behind their peers by circumstances like mental illness or
abusive relationships, they've missed their chance. It's good to show them that it's never too late.
No. 333699
>>333696Cope harder, I'm in college and I'll be quite accomplished once I'm your age, which is all I'm working towards. I also don't care about men finding me hot or old unlike the insecure idiots here because I don't spend my time in online spaces obsessed with looks as much as you. I also don't buy into the ideology that women look worse at 30 so I won't be as pathetic as you once I'm your age. I'll see my smile wrinkles and be happy I got to smile so much, see the grays in my hair and be glad I survived those stressful moments that caused those.
I think women in their thirties are generally great, the ones I talk to irl at least they're quite shitty online just like any age group, I think the ones here are losers though. Seriously, stop caring so much about looking young or old, it really doesn't matter as much as you think. Who cares if some loser virgin guy thinks you have wrinkles? Who cares if an incel claims you're too old to be pretty? Who cares if some porn addicted moid makes fun of you for being single?
You guys literally care so much about how others think. You're spamming random 30 year old actresses and saying they're pretty. Like, what were you expecting? Do you think women all look disgusting after 30? This whole thread smells like insecure women brainwashed by incel ideologies, next thing these retards are gonna do is settle for any man or woman that shows them attention because they think they're too old for an actual person to love them genuinely. Not healthy.
>>333694I'm not saying getting older is bad, I'm saying that the mindset anons itt have isn't healthy. They're obviously very insecure and have a weird fixation on looks and youth. A woman doesn't even age that much until her late forties but since these women probably hang out in online chambers that shit on any woman's looks, they think they're grannies who have completely given up on their looks or something.
No. 333700
>>333696>it reaffirms my belief about early 20s women thinking they’ll never ageyou only believe this if you spend little to no time with your grandparents. i used to live with mine, and i was never scared of aging and recognized myself as a future oldie.
multiple generations must share a house. the way we live right now, in flats and apartments, separate and "independent", is bad for humans as a species.
No. 333705
>>333699You’re agreeing with the premise of the thread but you’re being a huge bitch about it. Damn sorry some of us have insecurities how silly of us to talk about them. Fuckin A, let us work through our issues in peace.
Although I agree on the actress-posting but that’s because I cannot relate to celebrities.No young’ns allowed. Shoo.
No. 333713
>>333705I agree with the premise but I disagree with the arguments anons are making. Not aging isn't a good thing and pretending to be younger than you are is futile. I'm not pretending I'm 18, I'm not trying to look younger because I know it'll only be damaging to me in the long term.
And although I agree with you and that insecurities are things you should work thorough, I think a lot of anons itt have very
toxic mindsets that influence others negatively as well. I personally don't look at rich gorgeous 22 year old celebs and compare myself to them, I doubt anyone feels good about themselves when compared to a curated image of a very rich person who has means to purchase all type of beauty. A lot of anons seem to be spending way too much time in incel spaces and that's why they have very warped views. The only man that's told me women expire or that look ugly when they grow old was an
abusive 50 year old unmarried man who cried to me once because he knew he'd never have a wife and a family. That's the type of man these anons are taking seriously, a genetic dead end.
No. 333721
>>333699Do you have fucking eyes or did you not see everybody disagreeing with the anon who posted all of those actresses because she missed the point of this thread? Way to go selectively filtering what you read itt so that you can burn a strawman and fuel your ego boost.
For the record, if your online behavior really was as you say it is, you wouldn't be on this thread in the first place. Go be the paragon of normiehood you see yourself as. Hopefully it'll give you some life experience and make you less of a massive asshole.
No. 333777
>>333504I'm not an expert, this is just what I'm doing and I hope you research everything I write. My skin is rather dry and I mostly don't have outbreaks and stuff like that, I'm just very sensitive towards the sun.
What I do is:
- sunscreen, spf50+ every day
- I don't use foundation, only powder, eyeshadow and mascara, but I will wash it right of my face when I know I won't leave the house again
- I switch between retinol, niacinamide, vitamin c and basic moisturising creams with urea and stuff like that. Everything with no perfume, no alcohol, light textures. Not everything at once, more like one product a day and I will go at least one day without everything
- AHA or BHA peeling every two weeks or once a month, not too intense, my skin wouldn't like that
- I quit drinking alcohol, don't smoke and try to sleep at least 6 hours and drink my water, kek
That's all I can tell you. It really changed my skin and I look healthier than before. Next thing I will try is a collagen supplement and then I will see what I can do to improve my hair. I think it's important to not overdo it and slowly find what your skin needs and don't forget that it's important what you eat, if you eat like Shayna, your skin will never look healthy.
No. 333797
>>333789>>333659To be fair, the first handful of posts at the beginning seemed to be all normal women just saying they're happy, comfortable, and living their best normie lives while enjoying their 30s over their 20s.
You are on a imageboard after all, so the fact there's mixed bag of people ranging from the bottom struggle to the top finally living their best lives shouldn't be that surprising.
No. 333804
>>333798That's like 3 people and the majority of the thread is older nonnas encouraging younger ones not to be worried about aging/talking about being happy and secure in their 30s when they didn't think they would.
Genuinely what the fuck is with the random anons coming in seething that this thread is about shit it isn't?
No. 333833
>>333699I was in college at your age, too. I hope you succeed but damn, putting down others is an immature trait. Like seriously immature. This thread is literally for women to encourage each other and be supportive by sharing honest thoughts and experiences. If someone finds solace in looking at celebrities who have excelled with age, that’s just fine. If you didn’t notice, it wasn’t just looks that anon was pointing out. She was also focused on their personalities and their successes past 30, when society tells us women hit some sort of wall or become stagnant at 30. The point was missed by most of you. It’s not about their looks alone.
Your derailing the thread by insulting women here is exactly what is not okay. Just because you have such a positive view on aging, doesn’t give you permission to shit on other women who are posting on this thread hoping to find support and guidance. You really need to leave this thread. You are obviously not reading all of the posts or willing to be supportive of these women. This thread isn’t about you. It’s for women nearing 30, or above 30. So you really need to leave and stop insulting women who are here seeking support from peers. Your opinion is irrelevant here. Go somewhere else and stop fucking up the thread by being an argumentative 22 year old. For real. Leave the thread and let the women here post in peace. You’re acting like a child.
No. 333874
>>333659I think this is just a sad incel and/or blackpill troll that’s baiting across all threads these days. It’s exhausting but kinda easy to spot once you’ve encountered them.
>Goal is to make you feel bad and start an infight>Lack of reading comprehension, nitpicks certain arguments or one specific post while ignoring everything else>At the same time will use other anons arguments verbatim when it’s befitting>Volunteers little information about themselves so they can make something up later to one-up you “ackshyually I’m in college”etc.
No. 333884
>>333874>>333879Yea like this failure redpilled scrote or redpilled woman who needs help
>>332968 100% reads like a manosphere loser. Outdated narrow-minded thinking that women hit the wall at 30, no concept of female comradery of women helping or watching out for other women, and anything outside of the white picket housewife life is misery. Lolcow has a bunch of moids lurking but once it in a while they completely fail to hide it kek
There's plenty of examples of women here who posted about live fulfilling, happy, comfortable lives in their 30s and who are willing encourage or give advice.
20s is barely starting life, 30s is still young and when most people actually can or do start their life. For many, 20s is just studying, shit job, dating mistakes, and time to learn about yourself. So don't let some bitter
nonnie or dateless wonder scrotes who hate happy women discourage you.
No. 333895
>>333884>anything outside of housewifing is miseryI literally only made fun of you losers because none of you have any good respectable jobs or any other life skills. Most admit youre mentally ill or stunted, can't make friends or any connections and probably don't like the currently position you're in yourselves either.
Also being a housewife is dangerous as you'd be dependent on a random man who could walk out any time he wished.
Youre pathetic because you've wasted your life away and only think about how "you've hit a wall" instead of realizing how many opportunities you've missed. If being less pretty is all you care about even though you have no friends, no life skills, no education, several unmedicated mental illnesses,
nothing to be proud of, then I don't even know what to tell you.
You're parroting incel mantra because hanging around in
toxic incel spaces is what you spend your time doing. Seriously stop, you're too old to be wasting any more time like this. It's sad.
>>333844Only people who have nothing to offer care this much about looks. As I said, I interact with a lot of older women irl and I've never looked at them and thought they were worthless because they didn't look like airbrushed celebs. You're obsessed with looks because you spend your time online in echo chambers and know that you have nothing to offer so you blame all yout issues on your lack of beauty. Go outside, look at women my age. Are they all gorgeous? No. But they're not obsessing over their lack of beauty and letting that stop them from living their lifes.
Stop pretending that it's normal to care this much about looking "sexy" when you all have much bigger issues.
(back to infight, again) No. 333898
File: 1686147981620.gif (120.94 KB, 400x398, happybday.gif)
What do you think of the concept of "milestone birthdays"? Will you/did you do something special for your 30th/40th/etc? Would you appreciate if people made a bigger deal out of it than any other birthday? I feel like every birthday is kind of the same but I also think it can be fun to do something bigger if you have an excuse. I have not ever had a big bday bash but my best friend is turning 40 this year and I want to do something extra for her, I just don't know what.
No. 334313
>>334129There are many jobs in the ME field surprisingly, I was going to aim for autopsy assistant until I looked into medicolegal death investigator and the listings in my area. I started off with funeral services and a funeral service education degree. After 5 years of working with the medical examiner on occasion, doing calls with them, and hands on experience with dead bodies through funeral services - I was able to be considered at the MEO in my area. In most cases they want you to have a bachelor’s in science, I believe, but having lots of relevant experience is also an option. They also want you to have some classes or experience with medical terminology and anatomy which I luckily have. Where I’m working they require you to be certified after 1.5-2 years from hire date, and once you’re hired on at the MEO those doors start to open and the progress is fast.
If you’re interested in working in the field, I’d recommend starting off with a bachelor’s in science or the two year funeral service education degree, and maybe do some removals for a while (just removing and transporting the decedents to various locations), imo hands on experience with dead bodies of all types (decomps, suicides, crime scenes, normal deaths at home/nursing homes/hospitals) is the way to go for gaining the experience they look for. I wish I had applied sooner tbh I wouldn’t have been stuck running in circles at a funeral home for minimal pay lol. Funeral services does not pay well so my early 20s dream job didn’t really get me far
No. 334629
>>334597I will be monitoring replies to this lol
I lived in five different cities in the last ten years. I have friends from the second city and somehow no friends from any other cities (one “
toxic” ex friend I honestly shouldn’t have been friends with but that doesn’t count, we basically bonded over being workaholics at the same job) other than that just some work acquaintances I don’t keep up with. I don’t know how some people do it… feels like I should actually have a large social circle from living so many places but the reality is the opposite. I’m not even socially anxious. Kinda wish I hadn’t moved so much in my 20s
No. 334634
>>334597Making friends in your 30s is difficult ngl. I've mainly made friends through volunteering. Try to find different volunteer opportunities and you'll come across some people with similar interests and values.
You can also try different groups like book clubs and activity groups (e.g. running club etc).
No. 334649
>>334597Join clubs and classes of things you are interested in (art, books, dance, rock climbing etc) keep an eye open for any events around your city that you may be into and you think people you may vibe with will go to (concerts, expositions, farmers markets, film showings, etc)
Always be willing to approach first, there is nothing embarrassing about wanting to make friends, people love friendly people who make things feel less lonely and so they will likely be open to you unless you are terribly socially inept. If so, being the person who approaches first may seen scary, but the trick is just throwing a comment someone's way and wait if they reply in kind, don't force it or act too eager. The more you do it, the easier it gets.
No. 334788
>>334649>>334634Thank you both, I will give those things a try.
>>334743I'm working in the fashion industry and I had to work with troons, gender special women, annoyingly woke women, extremely gay men and overall people you wouldn't want in your life. In the end, I would be open to befriend someone at work but never met someone I would say that he/she is worth it.
No. 334864
>>334762Eh this happens to me as well, and you’re right. My little brother has deep lines, and a different bio dad so aged much differently. People assume I’m his little sister and starting college soon for gods sake. He never gets carded. Nobody I meet assumes my true age - I’m 27 and have yet to not be carded, teens assume I’m their age and try to converse with me, I recently tried to enter an 18+ lounge and was asked if I’m 18 and to show ID. It’s annoying at work because my partner is an older man, and it’s a family owned business so clients ask if I’m his daughter and along for the ride to learn… nobody takes me seriously, scrotes still approach me and catcall like I’m still 20. It’s almost a curse if you really look at it from my adult perspective. I’ve been waiting for age to hit me in some way, but I’ve consistently looked 20 since well, age 20 lol. Haven’t even put on extra weight since 20 or grown tits. Starting to think I never will. The worst part is the surprised looks and confusion when I present my ID when asked. At one bar, they assumed it was a fake and my friend who was with me had to stand up for me. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I can’t wait to get a few fine lines, maybe gain five pounds and be taken seriously by adults and people around my age.
On the plus side, the physical aspect of aging doesn’t scare me much at all. Just the implications that come with being older, the expectations, and the looming reality of my older family members getting sick or dying
No. 335260
>>334256I'm 37 and had to show my ID twice to buy alcohol this month and we are allowed to drink reaching 18, kek. Most people assume my age between 25 and 30. Sometimes I think about lying about me real age in my CV, because somehow people just can't tell that I'm old enough to have adult children, kek.
Getting told that you are mature for your age if you are young is somehow damaging, I feel. I got told that a lot when I was around 15 to 18. Real reason was, I was depressed, not mature, just done with everything and because I was quiet, didn't get into trouble and read depressing stuff, people assumed I'm mature and there might not be the chance that I would need help. I also never heard someone say to a boy that he is mature for his age, it's just expected of girls to be all grown up.
No. 337374
>>337368>>337255i'm starting feel like the wall is losing its meaning kek and today more than ever scrotes are throwing it around to insult women or basically very young women now.
The manosphere uses it for women at 25 now because they believe 25 is when women "peak" in appearance and fertility, but others will say its women are no longer attractive which doesn't make sense since many women in their 30s still look young in their 20s now because of better life choices…. and scrotes can't tell the difference.
A few weeks ago, some cryptorich redpiller made a post about how he'd never date women past 30 with a photo of girls around him as if he pulled them. But then one of the girls came out said she's a sex worker hired by him, and she and the other girls in the photo are 30+ kek. Even scrotes can't tell the age of most women kek
No. 339789
File: 1689079424181.jpeg (200.71 KB, 753x753, IMG_8623.jpeg)
Hate to bump but has anyone here used the “aged” filter that’s trending on tiktok? I’m 27, have been in this thread a bit and panicked about aging (have always felt afraid to get old)
So is this actually an accurate filter?! It feels so unfair if so. I see a lot of girls looking mostly like themselves, just older, which good for them but… when I do it on myself, I look NOTHING like myself. I literally look like Pearl in X. It’s insane and it’s actually causing me fucking mental harm. I don’t want to humblebrag but I look young at 27, I’m pretty, no wrinkles, etc. And always thought I’d age gracefully until this filter came out. Someone please give me input on this filter, because I look like a plumper picrel when I use it, it’s embarrassing and terrifying
No. 339822
File: 1689088935580.jpg (98.39 KB, 640x1137, u4nsa52smv6b1.jpg)
>>339810Lots of literal children where I live have smile lines, crows feet, and even "marionette lines" (not really but lines going down to your chin). It's just our facial fat distribution. We don't age badly either. There is no concept of 'the wall' here. Men will just fuck anybody.
Is this a Western/Northern Europe thing? North America thing? Internet thing?
>>339809I'm Greek, we certainly don't look haggard by 27 even though it's sunny. Some people never wear sunscreen either, and lots of us chain smoke. Some men will start balding and look like the Penguin after 25 but most people lead decently healthy lives and move a lot. You have to try really hard to look old in your late 20s and early 30s. The internet has scared a lot of women into buying products by telling them they will be unlovable and ugly.
No. 339823
I'll be 32 next month and I feel like I'm actually happier. My life isn't perfect, but things are going a lot more smoothly than my teen years or all of my 20s. Linking vid because she's someone I watch and she recently did a video about turning 30 and I can relate to a lot of what she says, but especially the part about not caring about certain things anymore. There are things I would've really been bothered by during my 20s that don't seem to faze me now and I'm not entirely sure why, but all I can attribute it to is age. I had a hair appointment last week and my stylist, who is 27, didn't believe that I'm about to be 32. I even saw the stylist and client in the chair beside us quickly glance over out of my periphery when I said my age and people in my classes (a mixed bag of some older than me, but mostly zoomers) also didn't believe that I was 30 a few semesters back.
I will say that the only difficulty has been finding women around my age to be friends with, because it seems like they've either settled down to have kids already and are always busy or they're handmaidens to the gender retards. I don't harbor any hatred towards women with kids and I'm still on the fence about whether I want them someday, but it would feel awkward trying to hang out with someone who is clearly on a different path than me. I'm sure that if I decide to start a family, I'll be able to befriend other mothers because it seems like there's so much more readily available for families than the childless. For now, my boyfriend and I are focused on being fiscally responsible and plan to eventually look for a house.
No. 340435
When I hit about 33 (35 now) I started having some strange experiences and thoughts about life. It might sound retarded, or just like mental illness lol but I started questioning the purpose of life in general, my own life, worthlessness of life, what I'm doing, what I haven't done, how I'd lived in my 20's, felt weird about my hobbies being only for the teen-mid 20's age range, compared what I considered important then to now, felt strangely empty, like things were not real, had a ton of anxiety, struggled with my body changing (period changes, skin changes, first gray hair at 28, fine lines/wrinkles, and even my fingerprints starting to just fucking disappear), a sudden awareness that I have detached completely from the younger generation or rather stopped keeping up with music and media so I really exude that "How do you do fellow kids?" energy if I have to socialize with them at work for instance but also feel totally unwelcome by the older crowd, also been pondering the fact that I don't have a partner and never explored my sexuality. My upbringing was a little fucked up so I don't form relationships normally and certainly can't maintain them, and that's any relationship. I'm terrified of men and will go to great lengths to avoid them even though I'm straight and want to just TOUCH and cuddle with someone and that biological clock is REAL and ticking for me. But, I feel like at 35.5 I'm far too old to have a child. I have a steady and decent paying job, own two vehicles, have a therapist that helps some, but my living situation is not good. I live with my aging parents and am seeing them decline slowly so I wonder if it's fair to leave them and yet, they infantilized me my entire life and still control me. As of now, I kind of just get through each day and try not to cry. Some days are a little better than others but I know I'm only going one way, and that's downhill. Can't discuss any of this with my mother, she's an old hippy stoner and super paranoid and hysterical about everything.
No. 341227
>>341180I didn't have a career to begin with, dropped out of university without a degree and let my 20s be ruined by alcohol and depression. In my early 30s I finally got a degree, got another degree based on it and right now I'm looking into getting further education in my field. Honestly, if I had the money, I would go back to university, study biology and not care about a plan or career, but I don't have the money, so that might be a dream forever. If you feel trapped, that might be a good sign that you should change your path and start something new, maybe work till the end of the year, put some money aside for emergencies and think about what would make you happy. In my opinion it's never too late to change and you have enough years of work ahead of you, so why hate what you do when you could change it?
No. 341331
I’m closing in on 30 soon and this thread was really helping me before. Can we bring this back, and can any over 30 nonnies provide me with any sources of comfort? I was on 4chan yesterday and it made the situation worse. So many men there saying women only have value before hitting 25. I know I shouldn’t listen to incels but it really hurt. I’ll never know what people in my day to day life are thinking I’m beyond hope, useless eggs, “hitting the wall” etc. I’m having a bit of an existential crisis, feeling like my life is over and essentially my existence is going to be minimized and my age will be all society cares about. I feel that if my current relationship doesn’t work, once I hit 30 I won’t have any options. I’m feeling self critical because I’m not where I thought I would be in life at this point in time. And I’m scared because it felt like my 20s just flew by, and I missed out on so many things I wanted to do/become. I know this is negative thinking - can any wiser nonnies give me some guidance? When I was in my early 20s I told myself that if I was still feeling like an ugly failure around 30 I’d just give up on life. I’m so anxious when I think about time and I’m not ready to be 30+. I don’t want to wear conservative clothes, give up on myself, change my goals to be more “mature”, I just want another chance at my 20s and I can’t have those years back. I do not have any girl friends in my age range and I just have no support for this transition as my mental health decimated my 20s and made it hard to find friends. Someone, please give me words of guidance. I’m lost here.
No. 341340
>>341331> I’m not ready to be 30+. I don’t want to wear conservative clothes, give up on myself, change my goals to be more “mature”, I just want another chance at my 20s and I can’t have those years back.I'm not really sure what it is you want to do that is only possible in your 20's. Your 30's aren't years where you start to dress like a an old librarian lady then lie down and rot while the world moves past you. Some things like children do have biological end dates and need to be taken into consideration when making plans for your 30s, and you're out of the run to become like a female athletics champion now, but other than that, I really don't know what's so limiting.
It might not be the most positive or upbeat thinking, but also - you won't be getting younger. If you didn't start some habit or project you wanted years ago, now's the earliest time you can mend that. Even if you don't change your work, start a degree, start socializing now (I have no idea what your goals are), time will still move forward and you'll just be a 35 year old with a shitty job, no degree and no friends.
No. 341349
>>341331why do you have to change magically over night because you turned 30? Nonna, you can still be immature, you can still wear whatever you want, you can still have the same goals or none at all, you could find a new partner, you can have children at the end of your 30s, you can marry in your 50s, there is no wall and men telling you there is one already hit that wall in their teens. I missed out on many things in my 20s, too, mental health issues are shit and ruin much, but I won't let my 30s and however much I have left be ruined by stupid social norms that aren't true or real. Just sit down, think what you imagine your life should be at the end of your 30s and then work towards that. If you want children, see if your partner fits and if you both are ready in the next years. You want to change your job or your appearance, do it. You want to make new friends or travel the world, well, you can still walk, so go for it. There is nothing holding you back except for maybe money and your own mind.
I've met many women in their 30s to 60s and all of them were strong, independent women, with goals, hobbies, love and they dressed like they wanted. Sure, there are women out there that are miserable, but some are miserable because of their own making and you don't have to take them as an example how growing old will be.
No. 341356
File: 1690048323895.png (371.62 KB, 546x348, 2.png)
I'm 37, I have a mostly useless college/university degree but a useful high school diploma, I worked in IT for a while and now I've had this job for more than a year which involves cleaning floors and bathrooms in supermarkets and offices
Pretty good though
No. 341370
>>341367Doesn't it earn pennies though? Idk I
ve only ever seen obvious migrant women have cleaning jobs.
No. 341450
>>341331>So many men there saying women only have value before hitting 25.Same men are complaining that women are incapable of being mothers, that they are wasting their eggs, that they are poor losers. They can't make up their damned mind, either they want a young carefree woman to have sex with or a mature woman who is financially stable and ready to be a wife and mom. Same men are wasting their youths and rant on 4chan instead of having a meaningful relationship and children.
>And I’m scared because it felt like my 20s just flew by, and I missed out on so many things I wanted to do/becomeI feel the same, but ask yourself if the things you wanted to do are actually impossible now. Don't focus on what you missed out on - you weren't well enough to pursue them, don't blame yourself for it, focus on improving your life and yourself so that you can pursue those things now. Don't torment yourself for not achieving milestones.
No. 341457
>>341331This stress comes from being far behind others. If you haven't changed much in your 20s through studying, working, dating, friends then you feel extremely lost because you can't relate to anyone, you feel stunted and this leads to loneliness. In reality, life is very chaotic, a lot of people don't have a perfect life at 30 - people change careers, break-up serious relationships, are lonely because they haven't met anyone/gave up on relationships, return to school, develop crippling mental and health issues, they regret what they did in their 20s, have a broken heart, debts, feel like life if pointless and boring etc. Lack of experience can be good.
No. 341475
>>341457>a lot of people don't have a perfect life at 30 - people change careers, break-up serious relationships, are lonely because they haven't met anyone/gave up on relationships, return to school, develop crippling mental and health issues, they regret what they did in their 20s, have a broken heart, debts, feel like life if pointless and boring etc. Lack of experience can be good.Nta. I know no one's life is perfect but I just don't see the "plenty of people deal with serious shit at 30" irl, at least not with friends and family that I'm close enough with to know for fairly certain they're probably not dealing with shit behind closed doors. Like I'm the only one in my social circle who was in and out of the education system throughout her 20s and didn't start a real adult career until her late 20s, I went back to uni at 25 and I was definitely the only one in that age range, everyone else was 21 tops, I'm the only one who isn't in a long-term relationship (not that I particularly care about this one but still), I'm the only one who's still renting without real perspective on buying property because everyone else had a "real" adult job and a partner to fund a house with just before the housing market skyrocketed, I'm the only one "floating" who hasn't settled.
Not trying to throw a pity party for myself here btw, I'm honestly not unhappy and I'm working hard on meeting my personal goals so it's fine but I'm definitely the only one in my immediate social circles who has clearly failed to meet default expectations/milestones at (nearly) 30 and it's a bit alienating seeing everything go so smoothly and down the expected road for everyone else my age who I associate with. I love my friends and family and I wish the best for them but sometimes I wish I could join a "I fucked my teens and 20s up and I'm still dealing with the consequences, let's be friends"-club lmao.
No. 347040
>>346914My financial health is significantly better than when I was 20, but poor at the same time
I’m panicking because I’m another year closer to 30 this month. I feel like for my 30th I want to throw myself off a cliff, I’m so nervous. I didn’t enjoy my 20s the way most people do. Any nice nonnies that can talk me down/pass on words of wisdom?
No. 347050
>>341331My 30's has been some of the best times of my life so far. I'm so much more confident and I've been able to deal with my social anxiety better because I know it's just an anxiety and not reality.
You have to do what you want to do and own it. It's depressing but I like to think that we're all going to die some day and when we're dead literally none of this matters so why not do it?
>>341476Yes I love wearing crop tops and trying to look cute and I want to dress this way as long as I continue to like how I look in it. Being healthy pretty much automatically results in having a good body so that's extra incentive to take care of yourself and start eating healthy and exercising no matter what age you are.
No. 347200
>>347186Good sleep and minimizing stress are a panacea. If you can nail the big 4 (other two being diet and exercise) then you are doing better than at least 95% of people. Combine that with the fact that most people only really hit their stride with career, life goals, and just general effectiveness in their pursuits once they are in their thirties and you are basically looking at having one of the best decades of your life.
I won't shill any particular books, but good advice tends to crop up again and again from multiple different sources. Basically just making sure than you give your work time and relaxation time hard edges that don't bleed into each other, and not confusing algorithmically-honed, dopamine-spiking distractions for relaxation will do a ton for reducing stress. Sleep stuff is again pretty basic and there's tons of info freely available.
No. 347285
>>347267I was similar about feeling like life was coming to an end when I was younger, though being serious about it sounds pretty extreme!
When it comes to growing out of that feeling, it probably helped that I had tried dating some of the men that care about age (stupid I know) in my 20s in an effort to lock down a man before I expire, learned that they all make for very bad partners and they were banking on me being too young to know better, and woke up to the fact that all along it was nothing more than a high pressure sales tactic. It turns out the "used up" talking point literally just means "she knows better than to date me now so I'm going to reject her first before she can reject me." It's all in bad faith and these men are chronic liars who want to cope with their loneliness by trying to make women feel bad about themselves. Anyway I replaced my fear with contempt. I don't care if I'm viewed as lesser than by shitty scrotes. Hopefully you can take something valuable from that.
No. 347291
>>347267Some men view women over 25 as used up and worthless too. Some men want to fuck kids. Why care about what they think? Men are retarded and most can't even tell how old someone is, how would they know who's "used up"? People who love you know you for who you are and numbers don't matter to them.
I had a bit of anxiety over turning 30 too (though not nearly to the extent of wanting to kms over it, that's worrying) but once you turn 30 you're just 30. Nobody shoots you like a lame horse, you don't look any different from how you did the previous day, nothing happens.
Most people don't care. I'm still in university and people just think I'm the same age as them. I'm not trying to say I'm a super uwu young looking legal loli, but that you really won't look any different and people can't tell.
No. 348574
This documentary is haunting me, nonnies…
So far my adult life hasn't been fun at all and I haven't achieved any of the things I wanted but the thought of still being in the same miserable place 10 or more years later is killing me. Rn I still have my parents but one day… The thought of having kids terrifies me but I still feel like I need to quit my childish dreaming and find a man asap to be surrounded by more people.
Another thing that really troubles me is having intense yellow fever after a decade of weebness. I'm no 'stacy' either but I really never see a guy in my country who isn't super ugly to me, even if they're still younger than me. And of course each passing year it get's worse and once you cross 30 many will be divorced with kids… I'm so jealous of those young love couples who met when he was young and cute and over the years just stopped caring or are blinded by love.
https://youtu.be/r4g5tqcoH_4?si=5klDrQoFmR4FcB35 (sorry somehow couldn't embed the link?)
No. 348581
As someone who worked as a chat mod for dating apps (really just using fake profiles to keep horny, clingy, creepy moids spending money on these apps, bc their horniness/clinginess/creepyness scare away actual women, a very small percentage seemed decent dudes), I found it surprising how little most moids actually care about looks or youthfulness. I'd have some really haggard-looking women in my userpics and there was always a bunch of men interested, especially young guys. I think the moids who are more vocal about women hitting the wall are mostly the ones who won't even make an effort to get some, or senile moids who want desperately to believe their old, degenerate sperm is worth something. So I've come to terms with my body aging and became comfortable with only going for young (adult ofc) dick. It's been actually been nice, bc unlike women who try to improve as they go through heartbreak, moids only get worse. You might have to guide the more inexperienced here and there, but they're far more open to feedback and willing to please.
To me the worst part of being in my late 30s is my juvenile sense of humor (always been like this even when alone), it just doesn't fit anywhere else and I'm very self conscious about it bc if anything, it's getting worse as I age. I feel like a woman my age shouldn't be laughing at the shit I find funny.
No. 348696
>>348694Mindfulness, unironically.
Also is anyone else getting tired of this site since there are so many young retarded newfags? The average post quality was better just a few years ago.
No. 348700
>>348574Divorced with kids at 30? Where do you live, arkansas? Men look fine at 30+ if they took care of themselves and didn't eat a gamer diet and fry their skin in the sun. your whole post is crazy.
your 30s are just your 20s but with money. I look and feel exactly the same at 32 as I did at 18.
>>347291men are so retarded they can't even tell if someone is wearing makeup or not. Imagine taking anything a moid says seriously. They're dumb cattle designed to be labor-meat golems; unfortunately their mouths make too many noises. Scrotes really be beer-gutted and malding and talk about ranking 18 year old women for hotness. Men are worthless garbage thinking their burger king crown is real diamonds and gold.
No. 348747
File: 1694769768894.jpeg (104.58 KB, 828x442, IMG_2478.jpeg)
why do these men want to punish or shame women for growing older? why do they care so much about a women turning 30 and her “eggs”? this guy probably doesn’t even have kids himself lmao, it’s such weird behavior.
I’m turning 30 in 3 months and, yeah it’s a little scary to reach a new point in my life, but I didn’t give a shit befor. Now I see these types of posts all the time and, I still don’t care but it makes me doubt the men around me, are they thinking such weird thoughts ? Do they all view women like this ? it makes me just not want to bother at all with them
No. 348807
>>348574Fucking hell, you're considering chaining yourself to someone and having kids 'to be around more people' but somehow moving or getting a hobby where you talk to people is impossible? I hope you're young and this stems from a Tiktok overdose because this is a fucking grim mindset. Maybe try therapy before you shoot yourself in the foot.
>>348747Men are obsessed with passing on their retard genes and don't understand why women are genuinely happy being single and child free. They can't fathom a world where women wouldn't care, would think this was a low effort prank a 12 year old was filming for their Youtube channel, or wouldn't have any idea what the egg carton meant. The thought of a woman over 30 getting pregnant or putting off having kids until she's older is as alien to them as the idea of self improvement.
No. 348873
>>348803They believe shaming older women for waiting or deciding not to have kids will somehow make it more likely for the older women to go into panic and have kids with mentally ill or
abusive men like themselves, which unfortunately sometimes works.
I knew a 40 or so year old woman whose
abusive super religious ex cheated on her and after she went through trauma and got manipulated by him in her bad times, she got married and had a kid with him. Last I heard, she couldn't bond with the kid and the child will have a negligent mother and a cheating father.
No. 348876
>>348869Definitely, it's the ultimate revenge fantasy for incels. But also, their hatred of 30+ women isn't for an audience of 30+ women, it's a show they put on for younger women. To make them insecure, desperate, and in a blind rush to be with any man who will have them. The more women willing to settle for less due to time pressure, the better for any average moid trying to get a girl out of his league who he can treat like garbage.
They've always been youth obsessed but their view of age is getting more and more vitriolic and extreme thanks to manosphere/incel radicalization. It used to be about mocking 40+ women who want to get married but are still single due to insanely high standards (only wanting millionaire supermodels) - which is dumb incel shit, but not that crazy. Now it's about mocking 30 year old women just for existing, no matter what they look like, whether they want marriage/kids or how high their standards are. I haven't actually noticed any of this shit irl though, it seems entirely online.
No. 348948
Former semi-NEET and probably austistic, got my first "adult" job in my late 20s. I'm always living with the constant fear of losing my job in this new economic downturn.
In my 20s, I was a dumbass fujoshit coomer who only listened to anime OPs/EDs and never wore sunscreen. I quickly grew out of that upon getting a real job.
Still have some of the same habits as my 20s, but I'm also in the process of developing better habits. Not as terminally online as I used to be. I'm also healthier now, cooking more, improving skincare & losing weight, cleaning & staying tidy a lot more. My 30s are way better than my 20s ever were.
But all of this could disappear just as easily if I lose my job. I'm pretty terrified of falling into a deep depression again and relapsing into my old ways. Everyone has been telling me to work harder on my career and learn new skills but I'm just so overwhelmed by all my other responsibilities, which aren't much to the average person but feel like a lot to someone who was a shut-in for so much of her life. I'm getting better though. I am going to look into courses to improve my skills and hopefully land a better job one day.
One thing I struggle with is avoiding lifestyle inflation. I need to be more careful with my money. I am very careful about my grocery budget and I basically never go out to eat or do stuff, so I save a lot of money that way. But I waste a lot of money shopping online for shit I don't need, or is bad quality. I'm part of a lot of personal finance forums and learning better habits through those.
My current worry is interest rates and whether I'll be able to afford the mortgage on the property I'm planning to buy. I have enough money for a downpayment, but I'm not sure I can pass the stress test.
Thank fuck that I'm no longer obsessed with anime or manga the way I was. Watching literally every anime that came out every season just to keep up with everyone else. Had I spent a quarter of that time on some useful training or self care, I would have been in a much better place than where I am today. And sweet Jesus am I thankful that I didn't grow up with social media to the extent that Zoomers do now.
No. 348949
>>347066Damn
nonnie, best of luck. There were older students in my courses in college and no one questioned why.
I think my life is taking the same trajectory as yours. My job feels pretty dead end, even though I was promoted with a slight salary bump. I also got a degree for the sake of it, since my parents pushed me into getting one. I never wanted to go to university in the first place.
The only difference is, I'm rather unmotivated & don't really care… as long as I have a job, I'm happy. I know what I need to do to get a better one. And I know that I'm capable of it, and the people I work with depend on me, so maybe the company can't let me go just yet.
I really need to move towards the next step in my career but I don't want to enter any rat race to the top. I just want to earn my keep and enjoy life. It's becoming increasingly harder to do with all these economic uncertainties that keep piling up with each decade. How do quiet quitters pull it off?
No. 348983
>>348948I'm so proud of you nonna and I'm wishing you all the best. When things get tough just think about how far you've come already!
With regards to struggling, everyone does - some people are just far better at hiding it.
No. 348988
File: 1694936786224.jpg (32.54 KB, 756x567, soairseronan.jpg)
30+ nonnas here: did/do you feel like you need to make a choice between being independent and having a relationship/family? I'm in my late 20s, I really value my independence and I really like to travel. All I save for is a future mortgage and a travel fund. I felt this way since my late teens, and I've never put arbitrary age-based goals on things (such as marriage/kids etc) because I feel like if I didn't hit those goals it would make me depressed. I wouldn't not count those things out but I wasn't aiming towards them.
But after my last birthday I started to feel more conflicted. I feel like having a committed long term relationship would make me happy but I can't force that with people and I haven't met anyone who I feel that way with.
Additionally, as someone who had (invertedly) neglectful parents and was raised primarily by my grandma I know what its like to not have parents around and I wouldn't want that for my children. But the conflict is that I just love travel so much and I just want to see everything - I know I can't have both and I feel like the next 10+ years of my life are going to be a time of deciding exactly what I want.
As much as I value my independence (and my drive to do what I want) I am also starting to feel more lonely, this didn't bother me when I was younger and I was honestly kind of content to be a volcel - but now I think it's really hitting me, I'm just scared to die alone one day.
So 30+ nonnas: Did any of you feel like this and if so, any womanly advice/wisdom you can offer?
No. 348994
>>348992I'm OP: the answer is money my dear nonna. I'm not from money at all (grandma died penniless) and I doubt I'm going to find some wealthy man willing to wife me, or rather a man that I like that's also wealthy. I make enough to look after myself but not enough to be able to afford to take a family abroad.
You're right some places I really could (and would like to) take a family but there's a lot of places on my bucket list where I really wouldn't or it would be very intense for children. In the words of my mother "Why do you want to visit places where you're going to get blown up or shot at?"
No. 349030
>>349019glad to know I'm not alone here nonna
>>349022exactly with regards to my bucketlist I'm leaving a lot of my safer/less intensive destinations (aka Europe/North America) at the bottom because at least if I hit my more daring goals early I won't need to drag any children across MENA countries or Asia.
No. 349159
>>332611Mid 30s now, technically the same as ever but since I was born I was always getting less interested and more depressive with ever year and after more than 30 of them I am just rather dead inside since there is nothing new and interesting out there I care about. Not sure how other people do this. Maybe I was just always depressive or something and with adult life being 500 times more boring than any year during childhood the depressions get much worse as well, no idea.
Currently NEETing again since having fulltime jobs makes me borderline suicidal. Was never interested in a relationship, I only ever cared about a few good friends I once had but somehow I feel like it's impossible to make genuine friendships as an adult and since they lack the whole "common origin" part they feel empty and other people feel alien.
No. 349183
>>349182It's sad but it calms me a bit to know that there are others. For the longest time I thought it was normal and that everybody else was just stronger than me and forcing themselves to live normal lives, but now I rather feel like most people in real life feel better, not worse, once they hit the 30s. I know so many that are more motivated than ever and painfully optimistic.
Thinking about it I cannot even muster enough motivation to draw what I should like. I drew so much as kid and till my early 20s. Now I force myself and need half a year for a single pic. Thing is that drawing is inherently emotion related, at least to me. I drew because I vented or expressed emotions. But now I lost them, so there is not enough to express anymore. You are probably right and we are just mentally fucked.
No. 349197
>>349159>>349183I'm here to tell you that I feel the same. I'm still hopeful that my interest in the living world will come back as I missed out on so much stuff being younger because of how self-destructive and depressed I have been back then.
I can also fully relate to the drawing stuff. I drew every day until I turned 20 and then I just stopped, I maybe have one picture that I drew the last 10+ years and it's sad. But I was way angrier and I feel like I had more emotions back then. It's amazing that what you have written is exactly like how I feel.
I'm still going on with my life, being a neet as I hate most humans, accumulating more knowledge, just wishing to be rich to be free of what society expects me to do and having to work until I die. People actually think that I know what I'm doing and that I'm not faking every single emotion they get from me. But like I wrote before, I still think that there is a possibility to get back what I felt years before, to be not this depressed anymore that I'm even too depressed to kill myself. I've survived so long, now I can add some more years just out of spite.
I hope you and nonna
>>349182 will feel better one day and the three of us will have an amazing, quiet and nice life.
No. 349243
>>349197>>349183Second nonna here again, I used to do a ton of art too. I thought I'd go to art school. I don't think I drew more than 2 or 3 times in the last 7 years.
I really think we should seek help. I've been putting it off for so long because of bad experiences I had with therapists in my teens but living like I'm already dead isn't a solution. Good luck nonnies.
No. 349252
File: 1695107817687.jpg (110.46 KB, 650x813, fran.jpg)
Friendly reminder for those of you feeling like 30+ is the end that Fran Drescher was in her mid 30s-early 40s when she was starring in The Nanny.
Incels seethe harder.
No. 349337
>>349307OP Here: Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts nonna. I completely share your thoughts about wanting to be able to do something when I want and I do think I would be miserable if I couldn't. Whilst I have this mentality I know it would be incredibly cruel to have children and raise them like this. I've always considered adoption, as that means I don't need to worry about a time limit on conceiving my own children.
With regards to growing old and senile I'm annoyed that assisted suicide is not an option - I don't want to become a prisoner in my body and as soon as I lose control I want out.
No. 349383
>>349365I wouldn't agree with that statement at all personally from what I remember doing in my 20s and what I'm doing now in my 30s.
One of my law professors back in uni said it best, the 20s is an unstable period of finding yourself out and trying different stuff out like in teen years but with the freedom of being an actual adult. So you kinda tend to start stuff, or do spontaneous things like visiting people you befriended at a meet and greet in a big town/during a convention, you meet different types of people. And you discover that the grass isn't greener elsewhere or people aren't as nice as they make themselves out to be. And you slowly learn that you gotta rely on yourself to get some shit done, nobody will do your tax declaration or job search for you after uni.
Then in your 30s you kinda figured out what you're about, you get your career path, living in your own flat/apartment/house without roommates figured out and/or family goals. And hopefully because of the 20s you went through, you know the traps to avoid with colleagues, with life/work balance, with savings etc.
Maybe it's because I've had 7 years of my 20s that were rough that I can't call my chill 30s "the new 20s", other nonnas might agree with that statement of yours. I personally rate the 30s as better for someone who seeks mental stability than to call them the new 20s when I know the mental instability I have been at then.
No. 349398
>>349365Honestly, I’ve enjoyed my 30s so much more than my 20s. I feel so much less insecure than I did. I know it’s not the case for everyone, but it has been for me personally.
>>349397I felt this feeling so much when I was in my 20s. The “hurt”. Now that I’m past the that period of my life, the anxiety of aging has seemed to get less. You will always have value nona, and despite what some men will think, there will always be people who admire and find you beautiful at any age.
No. 349400
>>349386It's redpill/manosphere fantasy from the online loser dateless men who believe they're "average", their "preferences" matter, and woe the average men is lonely.
There was a moment when a discount redpill influencer was online bragging about pulling women onto his (rented) yacht and that he doesn't do women under 25. One of the women came out a few days later saying he (and RP influencers do this too) hired her and the other girls from OnlyFans and also they're 30+, but these dumbfucks can't tell the age of women. They also date women from sugaring sites who lie about their age too.
But honestly, most socially normal average men aren't like this. Most men and women date and marry within age range. The average age gap for marriage is like 2~3 years. Most normal people want someone relatable.
And I didn't really get my life and routine together until my very late 20s (when I got my career). Working out, yoga, eat healthy, etc so now I feel and look better than I did younger and lazy. Wear sunscreen and figure out a skincare routine (retinal, moisturizer, vit c). Most people look as good or better in their 30s because of skincare, finally have money to be comfortable, got their shit together, etc. So don't worry about it too much if you can follow a healthy lifestyle.
No. 349474
>>349243>I've been putting it off for so long because of bad experiences I had with therapists in my teensFirst poster here, same here. Though I think it helps that years or decades have passed since then and that we are adults that can properly talk about what's bothering us now. As teen everybody just assumed I was crazy or weird so they shoved the kid into the therapists' room to make it normal, but they were clearly not trained for the problems I had. It was obvious that the problems they usually dealt with were kids with love trouble, fear of bad school grades or mundane issues with the parents, not kids that were depressive, autistic or something along the lines.
It's probably depression I think. Or a mix between depression and ADHD. Not that I got any proper help so far. Finding a therapist is literally impossible here and psychiatrists are often mediocre and don't even take the time to listen. Well, we should at least try I think.
My cousin I only recently told me that he relies on antidepressants. He is the typical juvenile middle aged cool guy I never expected to have this. But my other cousin (his sister) committed suicide years ago, so I think we should at least try to get that checked because it sounds like it was slowly worsening for all of us. Probably because the issue itself causes further issues like the inability to work for longer periods and that more years are passing in which I try but fail to do anything, making me more pessimistic and tired.
>>349245I totally relate with this. I drew so much, then I visited an art school were I was forced to draw and even after quitting soonish, after half a year or so, I was stunned and incapable of even doing a sketch for years and generally drew less ever since, even when I was still drawing more.
I think I can only do what I really wanted to and it needs to be personal, take that away and a formerly great hobby gets tainted. This is why I swore to myself to never ever do commissions even if I should learn to draw more regularly again, even after people asked me for it.
>other peoples media at best. It sucks, I wish I still had the will to create stuff.Same. I once even drew tons of manga pages of own stories and worked on a RPG maker game for two years. Time of my life, despite the social isolation (though I wasn't even craving anything else). I wish I could get that back.
No. 349488
>>349365Turned 30 5 months ago, so far yes absolutely. Lots of people say your 30s is like your 20s but with money and I disagree. It's not even about the money. I just felt my brain switch from "I hate myself, I'm so cringe and everyone hates me" to "I'm kind of a Stacy actually" in the first few weeks. Mental illness? Don't know her.
The best part is I don't give a fuck about anything anymore. I don't care if I'm ugly, I like how I look. I don't care about other people's opinions, I like how I dress. I've been so confident it's unreal. I'm even better in bed. I feel so silly for having literally cried about turning 30 for the past 5 years. It's great.
Worst part is pimply teens on the internet calling you 'middle aged' and using your age as an insult, and incels posting egg carton pictures, but trust me you'll live.
No. 349830
File: 1695497640001.gif (846.95 KB, 372x200, source.gif)
I feel so hopeless. My 20s were so miserable and went by so fast, mentally I'm still at the same point as after hs graduation, same interests, same dreams, everything. I only survived this far by constantly fleeing into daydreams - which make the reality feel even worse.
When I was younger I somehow never imagined that I had a life after 30, everything I like and always wanted are young people things. I can't and don't want to imagine myself as not young.
This week I got my first big girl paycheck and seeing that sum made me feel so detached from reality, like what am I supposed to do with this, I don't need or want that much money and much less that job, I just want to finally be happy…
At 20 I somehow always assumed all my problems would fix itself, that I'd magically stop being a weeb and on imageboards in my mid 20s, that I'd suddenly know what I want in life, that I'd just happen to find hobbies, friends and a partner, but instead nothing. Each year just gets worse. Back then young me reading about lc anons like todays me would have found me so pathetic.
At 25 I finally started therapy, thinking this is still youngish and that I'd be fixed by now but again, nothing. Instead all those other shit suddenly hits me too, like the fear of turning 30, feeling jealous of my thriving 18yo sister, suddenly believing incels and thinking I will die alone if I don't get kids immediately and so on.
I feel like I have to make a decision right now - either my unrealistic dreams which likely end in loneliness or having a family which likely ends in deep regret…
If I was a moid I'd likely already packed my bags and gone to LA or Tokyo. Technically there probably are more famous women but only because they sold their body and soul. Meanwhile moids can make it anywhere at any age, not just in Hollywood but in any career. And at the same time they don't need to give up family either. Or they can just start one at 50, they have endless choices.
Recently I read that David Bowie had a baby in his early 20s, while he was still trying to make it. And afterward he led a crazy wild life. But that doesn't matter, he got women anyway because women don't care and give their partner any freedom on earth. For them having a family or not doesn't have to change any of their dreams. Meanwhile if I as a woman close to 30 told a moid that I'm not content with my boring job and that I can't imagine myself having children in any near future, I'd be seen as unstable and undateable. If I hear muh 5-year-plan one more time I swear…
It just feels so unfair that they don't need to make this insanely difficult decision like us.
My biggest wish is probably to go back in time and try to grow up normal or to stop time and live as my parents child forever, I'm just a failure of an adult.
No. 349836
>>349830>Meanwhile moids can make it anywhere at any age, not just in Hollywood but in any career. And at the same time they don't need to give up family either. Or they can just start one at 50, they have endless choicesThis, it's so unfair. But I also want all of us to remember that it keeps happening even now because there are women enabling this lifestyle for men. There are women who are ok with this. If there was no women content with taking care of children and houses for men, the men couldn't live in Neverland forever and fuck around forever
I know it's also important to remember that, generally speaking, most men can't allow this life either and they are unwantwd and undatable. But it still makes me envy those men who can live like this, even though that's not general male population I think. I also dreamed once about being a famous artist, an actress or a musician. But I grew more bitter over time, seeing what women had to do in order to become famous compared to what men had to do… it was laughable. I could never do this. I still have hopes for becoming a digital and traditional artist though, and maybe a streamer (I would mostly stream art). But even that makes me paranoid. If I revealed that I'm a female, they would sooner or later find out my age somehow and I'm scared how that would affect my position. I never had any social media so they wouldn't find my data online, but I think that at one point someone who knew or still knows me irl could recognize me and post my age. Maybe it's better to just never show my face or wear a fucking mask or something
No. 349863
Every year I have less and less in common with my group of friends. I'm finally throwing in the towel and trying to make new friends but yeah
>>349847 this right here. I told one girl I went to my first con in 2003 and she wanted me to tell her stories about the good ol' days like I'm her grandma or something.
On the other hand, half the groups I join I'm the youngest there by 30 years. I managed to find one meetup group with some women closer to my age, but they all have children and it's literally all they talk about. I just want some girlfriends to hang out with who don't have kids to put to bed or homework due in the morning
No. 349864
File: 1695524386022.jpg (41.84 KB, 625x338, tobeing30.jpg)
I'm going to soon be in my mid 30's and I feel nothing because age is meaningless to me as a legal adult. The main thing I learned after turning 30 was to just stop giving so much of a fuck. There will always be someone younger than me, more attractive, more stable in their life, more accomplished and it is what it is. I learned to stop listening to others opinions that have nothing to do with me. I got sterilized despite my parents being upset they will never have grandchildren because fuck them kids I have never been "maternal", and its not my fucking job to make others happy at the expense of myself. Shit has always been the same, I've just gained insight through life experience. I tried the traditional route of getting married, going to school and having a career to support my future family but I always go back to my true self. I am not a mother, I am not a wife, I'm not a dog of the state, I'm a motherfucking autonomous person dammit. It's my life and I will choose to live it out the way I'd like it to be. Being a woman in this world is hard but I haven't felt so in touch with the power women hold until now. I live my life with one thing in mind, never saying "I wish I did xyz". If you wanna do it then do it, and if anyone catches an attitude fuck em.
No. 349868
>>349847>>349857>>349861>>349863God I feel this so much. Hobby groups are either just young kids, so it makes you even more conscious about being old(er), or it's people your age who only care about weddings or worse kids, or it's older women whose kids are out of their house or they're retired and therefore bored and picking up hobbies again.
Where are all those unmarried women everybody is talking about?
What makes it more difficult for me is that I don't have any positive non-traditional rolemodels in my life, I only know older married women. I'm scared that the unmarried ones really are lonely and hiding in their homes, or that they don't really exist, that getting married is so natural that just everybody does it and so should I?
>>349836I know that not all moids do this but at least they can afford to try.
When I was younger I always wanted to live life without regret but now it suddenly feels as if the risks are just way too high…
No. 349968
File: 1695629404784.gif (394.6 KB, 400x218, IMG_3012.gif)
I’m 33 and feel like I had a fairly uncommon 20s experience than my friends. I had a kid pretty early (like before the legal drinking age) graduated college with a BA but ended not using it because clients have shit taste, and got married at 25. I knew him since middle school and was not gonna risk playing the field and possibly exposing my daughter to some sick fuck.
My 20s were filled with a constant pressure to provide her a better life and not become exactly what the world already thought of young, single unwed mothers. I dont resent her for that, but i resent the unfair expectations held on moms vs dads.
My girlfriends are all single without kids so I live vicariously through them. I love hearing about their trips to Thailand or about the cute guy in their apartment building. Unfortunately they're also all scared theyll end up alone. The one that hits hardest is my sister whos a bit older. Shes constantly traveling and meeting up with old friends but once told me she just wants to feel wanted. Meanwhile I’m on the other side wishing I had the time and freedom she does. Is the grass not green enough on the other side no matter what?
No. 350043
File: 1695706044474.jpg (163.21 KB, 1039x1390, karenmaxxing.jpg)
how i handle it: buy midlife crisis floor loom, steal plant cuttings constantly, & consider it all apart of my karensona.
No. 350128
File: 1695769057067.jpg (95.53 KB, 800x1000, PREVIEW Live This Long.jpg)
I'm going to be 30 next year and I didn't think it would hit me this hard, but it has. Originally I was planning on killing myself right after high school, and have tried a couple of times but was stopped. I never put any effort into my future since I figured I was going to die soon anyway, and now here I am 10 years later with nothing to show for it except a crappy retail job I've begun to resent, no higher schooling whatsoever, no skills, and a dwindling friend circle. I have a small business selling my art but even with both of my incomes combined I make less than 20k, and now my illness and anxiety has made it extremely hard to work. I blamed external reasons before, but really this is all my own fault. Once I'm done with my pity party, I can either try to get my shit together or die. We'll see which one I pick.
No. 350162
>>350128Hey
nonnie, I’m in the exact same boat. I wish we could be friends. You sound a lot like me… I was reading this post thinking “did I post this?”. Wish I could reach out. Regardless I suppose we’re in this together.
No. 350207
>>350008Aww
nonnie, ive been feeling funny about entering my 20s, but to hear that you’ve made it work, and that you can break cycles of abuse, really gives me hope. I’m glad you have success and confidence, I hope to get to where you are ♥
No. 350243
>>350173I feel like this dynamic shift already happened in my early 20s when they all had mostly steady partners, then they all got married and had babies while I was still in uni, so I felt like we're living completely different lifes.
Nobody ever tried to set me up tho, I guess I don't have close enough friends for that…
I'm so fucking worried about never finding a bf the older I get because I don't want to settle. Sometimes I feel downright pedoish because white moids above 20 look tragic. And once they're approaching 30, they're all fat, bearded, balding and so boring, plus likely expect you to want babies because as a moid why not?
I wonder whether I should study again. I actually just finished (my major takes a long time in my country) and now have a high paying job, employed by the state.
But I hate it so much. Plus I'm not ready to be a proper adult yet, I never got to enjoy being young, so I kinda want a second chance? But if I didn't manage to make friends and have fun in uni at 20, how should I manage as an older student…
Everything feels so hopeless, this is the opposite of what I imagened my life would be when I was a child.
No. 350296
>>332611It’s a shit show, just like social media is now. The internet sucks and was my only outlet for years.
I spent all of my 20s hiding from my
abusive family via a narc relationship & he left me for a 19 y/o. My life is currently the opposite of everything I worked towards. I have no degrees, no car, no career, no apartment, no hobbies, no friends, no passion, no faith. I used to have/be achieving all of that successfully though. But I fucked it all up & tbh death is preferred. I ended up in a psych ward from it all & nothing has felt real since. Every day is a nightmare. Working up the courage to down pills on 30th coming up
No. 350311
>>350243Nonnie, you and I are in a similar boat. I dreamed of romance ever since I was a kid, in many ways because of my parents' happy marriage. I also feel a lot of pressure to find a good person to settle down with now that I am approaching my 30s because like you said, the longer we wait to find a romantic partner, the less good choices we'll have. It's really not a meme that good guys get snatched up fast, whereas there are brilliant single women across all age ranges.
But I think it's even worse for our generation! In a month, I can honestly count the number of guys I have found attractive on the street where I live. It's not a big city, but it's also not the middle of nowhere. You cannot deny that the internet has ruined men. There's this one guy who works in a different department from me and from our interactions, I thought he was 35 at best. He has balding unkempt greasy hair, horrible style, and is overweight. One day we were talking and he goes "oh, I just turned 25!" And I was like???? No fucking way you're younger than I am and you look like this!!!
But nonna, don't give up finding friends at an older age! I found my best friends while living abroad, completely by happenstance. You never know when and where you find people you click with. Don't give up on happiness and silliness in life!
No. 350405
File: 1695910742142.jpg (23.14 KB, 320x316, f101ccba1e5f57a222abbe23879873…)
Still 28, but I'll be 29 in a couple of months. During the new years transition into 2020, I felt this horrible pang of dread realizing that youth was passing me by, but that dissipated instantly once the clock struck midnight. Approaching the end of my 20's doesn't feel that way to me, at least not yet, but hopefully it just doesn't rise at all. On the contrary, my husband is sweating about turning 30 this year, kek. I'm ready to gracefully enter this new decade of my life; it's not like it really has a meaning unless I give it one, I'm a healthy individual even compared to my colleagues in their early 20s. I am finishing up my Associates at a community college this semester, finally, and I anticipate that when I go on to uni, I may feel embarrassed by those 10 years younger than me taking the dame courses. Oh, well!
No. 350519
>>350508No, us 30-somethings all turn into fat Karens on the midnight of our 30th birthday. There aren't any 30+ fitness instructors on YouTube and celebrities in their 30s are all obese grandma hags.
Is that what you wanna hear? Do you even realize how mean and unhinged you sound?
No. 350532
File: 1695976780580.png (1.62 MB, 842x893, anonpls.png)
>>350522I don't know where you got the idea that you can't build muscle and workout after your 20s but it's absolutely, 100% doable. I'd be more concerned if you couldn't. Your body doesn't rot and become useless once you reach 30 years old. Metabolism changes happen later in life, at like 70 years old. Even then the change is slight, around 100-200 calories. Picrel is a 60 year old.
No. 350542
>>350532Agreed. Take this with a grain of salt, but I remember hearing about a study that showed that your metabolism doesn't actually significantly change until around age 60. Which adds up with anons mentioning menopause.
What changes is just people's lifestyles, and they use that + the metabolism myth as an excuse.
Basically the second people move out from home and mommy didn't stop them from consuming all the shit fast food they want or drive them to sport practice every week - paired with high calorie alcohol partying etc… makes people gain weight and then they blame it on "not being young anymore" despite many of them still being like 25 when they start using the excuse lol
No. 350547
>>350522keep in mind that even if you achieve your perfect bikini body, your insecurity seems to run too deep to be cured by it. anyway, I do agree with the
nonny recommending lifting. I love it and it has done good for me but I focus on how it makes my body feel and how strong I've gotten over how my body looks. I have a belly at 18 BMI so I'd probably go crazy if I cared about having a cute bikini body.
No. 350787
>>350669It’s impossible to know if dressing that way when you were younger wouldn’t have had an also disappointing effect. Best not to dwell on it and wear whatever you want now. You can still incorporate trends without looking ridiculous, though I get that it’s not totally comfortable at the moment. That might change the more you experiment. Just do it,
nonnie! Think about it. If you don’t start then when you’re in your 40s or 50s, will you be wishing you grew balls now? Probably!
No. 350845
>>350669I used to feel the same during depressive episodes. Now that I'm doing better, I realize that I
did lean into that "hotness", but it didn't make me look hot so I just wrote it off and forgot about it. I looked awkward because I was, no amount of sexy and feminine clothing would've made me attractive because I didn't yet know what works for me and I looked frumpy or trashy depending on the outfit.
I think you're overestimating how many looks you could've pulled off, no offense. You probably don't look very different from your younger self and your proportions probably haven't changed much. Odds are you just don't suit things that you find hot on other women - which is fine, you just need to find what suits you. Those things don't change a great deal throughout your life, you just have to "update" them a bit.
No. 350940
>>350938And I mean beyond Botox or whatever despite me considering it. Just general tips for not looking like,
old to younger people
No. 350955
>>350953this advice is fine but just remember if you use retinol that you
have to protect your skin from the elements or it will do more harm than good.
>>350938all the generic "eat good food most of the time, drink water, get good sleep, stay active" goes a long way as you age. limiting alcohol to rare occasions will help a lot too. as for procedures I would try microneedling before botox.
No. 350960
>>350955I use retinol 3-4x a week, I’m a night shifter and have been for 6 years so it’s rare that I see daylight or sun. I apply sunscreen when I go to work for the couple of hours the sun is still up. By sunrise I just need to drive home. Do I need to worry about that drive home, or is the living in darkness thing enough to do tret and not reapply sunscreen? I feel like in general, living exclusively at night for so many years is why I don’t have lines or signs of aging yet. I’ve had (passive aggressive) women my age tell me I “only look so young because I’m never in the sun”
On my days off, though, I tend to be awake during some sunlight hours. There are tons of windows in my home but not much direct sunlight. Should I be applying and re-applying while I’m indoors during daytime hours? Genuine question. When I go on vacations/am forced to be on a day schedule I do apply sunscreen religiously. Which is a chore because my family and friends make fun of me for even caring about sunscreen. But they are severely sun damaged so I don’t really care what they say.
I honestly have a huge fear of sunlight. Hence the night life.
No. 350977
>>350960You're fine, sounds like you have it covered. Not good to stress so much about it. Make sure you get some direct sun sometimes on your body, you need that.
Take care of yourself as a night-shift worker, that's a whole bag of worms too in regards to health and longevity.
No. 351004
>>351003Then why worry? But as
>>350966 said, you will eventually look that way, as will everyone. Your posts give off the vibe of someone who's very, very insecure about their age so I hope you change your mindset of all 30-somethings being ugly, haggard moms soon. Especially since it doesn't make any sense, seeing as you're pushing 30 yourself.
No. 351006
>>351004I think the 30+ women who maintain a low weight, exercise, don’t have kids and take care of their hair + skin, avoid alcohol etc. can stay sexy and youthful well into their 40s. That’s what I’m going for. I want to avoid the haggard, tired, pudgy and unkept/lack of style or energy look that a lot of women seem to acquire once they get into their 30s. I knew a woman at work in her late 40s and she looked geriatric, it was absolutely depressing to see. She obviously didn’t take care of herself, and was overweight, grey haired and full on grandma vibes. I was just looking for good health/skin/workout regimen tips to avoid ending up a grandma after my 30s, and I wouldn’t mind continuing to look nearly a decade younger throughout my 30s. I’ll accept looking older when I am older - as in 50+. Before that age I think you create your appearance through lifestyle choices. Genetics help, but women who end up looking older in their 30s-40s just didn’t care for themselves enough. That’s what I’m getting at. And I’m not feeling that “lack of energy, not wanting to vibe or go out late, hurt back always sore” shit 30+ people moan about. I feel exactly the same physically as I did at 18, I don’t feel tired or older and I don’t want to eventually look it either. At least not for another two decades.
No. 351067
>>351050Thanks nonna. I don't always contribute to this thread, just every so often because I feel like the odd one out for never having had any fears or concerns about aging.
I have been through deep depression from age 14 to age 26, from external factors I could not change (family issues) as well as the ones I could influence up until I removed myself from the people in my life that made me not to continue on living.
And every year I still pass my birthday I'm surprised I'm still here because I expect to die due to my own clumsiness or finally an accident or natural catastrophe to finally get me.
I avoided an earthquake in Turkey in the 90s by traveling back home one week before it, I avoided the terror attacks in Paris in November 2015 by being just one neighborhood away from it all and not noticing anything until I got home and watched the news, I avoided being trapped in a Parisian underground "subway" tunnel by one day. And all that might just be coincidental but because it feels like whatever will flatline me can happen at any second, I'd just not worry about whether I look young or old when I'm dead.
I've been angry enough about things in the past -I make just one exception to complain about the railway system because they always screw me over kek- , I'd rather focus on things I can influence, have meaningful discussions, being congruent and truthful yet not harsh to people I interact with and make the most of whatever time I'll get.
No. 351104
>>351093My best friend has the same experience as you nonna, but in the medical field specifically neurology, where she's been working for six years. A lot of patients think she's an intern, or a nurse, and she's had to impose herself a lot for some of those patients to take her seriously.
Even if that meant being slightly upsetting to those patients.
Sending you lots of strength and courage, people misjudge often others, it's not easy.
No. 351251
Today is my little sister's first day of university and I couldn't feel more jealous and bitter.
She's 18, skinny, beautiful, just about to start her life and everything seems to go perfectly for her. We both are weebs/kboos and while I studied something I hate but my parents wanted me to, she managed to get accepted for some cool degree which includes studying abroad, basically everything I wanted too back then. I went to a local uni and stayed at my parents house to safe money and never managed to make any friends or get a bf, meanwhile she moved to a dorm and already got to know many fellow students before it even started.
I wish I could be a supportive big sis to her but I'm just a total mess.
It dawned on me that I will work this same shit job for another 40 years, and then I will be an old lonely lady with endless regrets.
There's just nothing in life that I look forward to anymore. Just a couple months ago I thought I will quit and just study/learn something else but now I suddenly feel way too old and ashamed plus I know that nothing could ever make me happy anyway. I also always told myself that if my depression gets so bad that I can no longer take it, I will just quit everything and "flee" to some place abroad but now I also understand that my problems would follow me too.
I wish the internet didn't exist, that I never got into anything asian and started hating my own country, that I didn't dream of becoming famous, that I didn't know what incels, the wall, freezing eggs and all that shit is. I know I shouldn't come here anymore but I'm just too lonely not to.
No. 351254
File: 1696445098952.gif (141.53 KB, 480x270, giphy.gif)
The sad truth is that even normal not internet-brained young people think of 30 as old. I remember being a freshman in university, and I thought a 24yo fellow student wasn't interested in being friends because of our age gap…
I feel like if I was a moid all my problems wouldn't exist. Part of why aging as a woman is so scary is because after 30 you're being pushed into being a mommy, both in looks and character while moids just stay themselves all their lifes.
I guess my country is extreme when it comes to this but I just hate that people expect you to dress a certain way, talk a certain way, have your life revolve around spoiled kids, spend all your freetime in playgrounds, call your own mom grandma, fight with teachers, cook lunchboxes and switch to an uber healthy lifestyle because everything is super poisonous for your baby…english is obviously not my native language, hopefully you get what I mean? i just hate everything about it. Sadly I also don't know any young moms who are an exception to this and I also don't know any happy older childless women. Feels like you're doomed.
No. 351338
>>351254I don't know where y'all live but I'm glad I don't live there. I've never been expected to be anything just because I'm in my 30s. My family is full of childless women and having kids into your late 30s isn't a big deal, even though this is a conservative country.
Only rich Russian women sound like that where I am from. To them, if you're 25+ and not married to a rich man, popping out babies or flexing on your instagram followers, why are you alive? I guess it just sounds depressing to me that women go through all that education just to be valued for what, being hot and being a mommy, those two things only? Bleak.
No. 351345
>>351338Tbf I'd have had that pressure too if I had still contact with my father's side of the family, they pretend to be modern etc since they're in Yurop since the 60s, but at heart the family is raised by traditional Muslims.
My parents didn't raise me with any religion so I'm not about that life.
My Mom was forced to go through an arranged marriage (to continue the family name lineage more than anything), and she's told me herself that she doesn't expect any grandchildren from me.
I was surprised the first few times in the EU country I moved to that some of the discussions only turned around women my age having children, or the want to have children or not, as if it's the only purpose in life.
Thank God the people who asked me the first few years I was here I don't really talk to now, but I remember thinking "What the fuck makes any of my life choices your goddamn business?" in the back of my head.
No. 351347
>>351345>Some of the discussions only turned around women my age having children, or the want to have children or not, as if it's the only purpose in lifeI mean no offense to anyone with kids or who wants kids, but busybodies who care so much about babies and who is having them or when have nothing going on in their lives. It's a way to fix past mistakes, start over and get their kids to entertain them or make them a good person which they were too dumb to become on their own.
I'm just glad my family is rich and educated so I don't have to shack up with some subpar man to make ends meet and get guilted into kids.
No. 351399
>>351253Thanks for the nice words
nonnie but there simply is a world of difference between going to uni at 25 and quitting plus starting anew in your late 20s or even 30s. When it comes to this every single year counts, if you managed to start at 25 you likely even finish before 30, meaning you're still good.
I'm so desperate to find an out since years already that whenever I meet somebody, go somewhere, watch something I get curious about whatever job I encounter and immediately think that this might be a better option for me.
But the truth is that my dream jobs only exist in my fantasy and are unreachable. I try to find a normal realistic option but there's just nothing out where for me.
I also often think back to my uni days when I worked in a local bakery. It was exhausting, I was completely alone during my shift, had to sell, bake and clean everything on my own, yet I miss it. Some customers are shit, but most regulars were nice lower income workers like truckdrivers or retirees who treated me so s
kindly. Working something like that is so mentally relaxing compared to academia and my current job. But the pay is way too little to survive. I really don't know what to do.
>>351261I know that I'm depressed, doesn't change anything tho.
I simply grew up in a sheltered area, here there really hardly are any people who aren't normie, meaning everybody I know had a nice time at college and continued living well afterwards. Those outliers like me who failed were already noticable before starting work or university. I was already weird and doomed at 18 vs my little sis who does most things right and has most things work out nicely for her.
No. 351414
>>351399Yes, yes it does make a difference. Depression literally changes your brain chemistry. Claiming having depression makes no difference makes as much sense as claiming baving a broken leg makes no difference in your ability to run a marathon.
Stop talking down on yourself.
No. 353111
https://solitarybeast.medium.com/dating-is-hard-for-unattractive-women-a-look-at-female-dating-strategies-9bfa21a7d72>An even average looking man can easily get dates and sex with women through doing this. The manosphere is full of success stories of average men who went from frustrated, friendzoned chumps to total players with a few months to a year of improving himself. Myself included. I readily admit that The Red Pill changed my life. I went from a skinny fat incel who struck out with women, to juggling 3- 4 dates a week with attractive women. In the last 6 months, I dated a 23 year old student at a local university, and a 40 year old art professor at the same school! And I did it in my mid- 30s. At 37, I am having more success with women than I ever have in my life. I’ve written a lot about it here.>Critics can call the manosphere and The Red Pill “misogynist”, but the things I learned there worked for me and for thousands, if not millions, of other men over the years. Women do not have the same agency, or the same amount of time. A woman’s value (in the dating market, not as a human being and a child of God) is in her physical beauty, femininity, and youth. A more plain woman can improve her lot in life with make up, hair, and clothing. However, the standards of female beauty are a lot higher and more attached to her body than men. An average looking woman will gain some (but not as much) of an edge by getting fit. Once she is past 30, her options, among the attractive, successful men that women like, start shrinking dramatically, no matter what she does.I know I shouldn't be reading stuff like this but I constantly feel like it's the truth. I'm 28 and I never dated anyone, I never "put myself out there", I never had any social circles and I spent most of my life at home, I had no contant with men throughout most of my life so I don't know if some decent men would be attracted to me or not, because I didn't even create any opportunity for it. Also I never expected to live that long so I was not prepared for it. Now I feel like I'm suddenly about to hit 30 and I basically have no people in my life. I feel everyone is already in a relationship and only creepy men are single at 30. I feel like I missed my entire youth and my one and only opportunity to find someone nice. I will always blame myself for being a mentally ill NEET who spent most of her teens and 20s in her room.
No. 353116
>>353111Don’t read this shit. Men will fuck anything. He contradicted himself - dated a woman in her 20s then a woman in her late 30s. If he really felt that women lose value over 30, why was he interested in the older one? And this reads like an absolute basement dweller larp
From my experience, and what I’ve seen - younger men are becoming more and more attracted to and into dating older versus younger. I’ve personally known plenty of decent men that had happy relationships with women much older than them.
Men age like milk. This is how they cope. The man who wrote this is most likely trying to cope with the fact that he went bald at 25 or something.
Also keep in mind, men have no idea what women in their 30s actually look like. Plenty of gorgeous Hollywood women that are highly lusted after by men of all ages are in their 30s-40s. Men watch “teen” porn without realizing the actresses are actually closer to 30.
This stuff is really horrible to stumble upon. I used to let it effect me, too. But it doesn’t reflect most men. Imagine feeling so insecure about being an incel, finally getting a few dates, and then sitting down to flex about the fact that two women finally looked at you. This guy is most likely undatable and feels the need to flex to his incel bros about the few times he almost got laid.
No. 353119
>>353111Also
nonnie, I stumbled upon a really wholesome Reddit thread about a year ago. It was someone asking men if they really prefer younger woman.
The vast majority of men in that conversation said they prefer someone in their age range. They expressed that younger woman are cute to look at, but annoying and immature when it comes to dating them. Some of the men even said they look like children, and they prefer mature women. There were quite a few men that said they were dating and/or married to an older woman, and that they find older women sexier than a 20 year old.
Then men who said they prefer younger women were far outnumbered, with no upvotes, and there were maybe 3-5 out of 150 men that even had that response to the question.
Being a long term incel results in posts like the one you read. But when it comes down to it, even a youth obsessed incel will fuck literally anything with a vagina
No. 353121
File: 1697387272185.jpeg (751.49 KB, 1946x3000, IMG_9217.jpeg)
I know they divorced, but Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Married for six years. He was 25 when they got together, she was 40. I could post more examples, and even share some screenshots of men talking about preferring women their age or older, but I think you get the point
Women will always have power over men regardless of age. And that makes some men absolutely seethe, especially if they can’t get laid
No. 353122
>>353111Ok, let's say you fling yourself at the nearest balding unemployed scrote who needs a live-in maid. What next? You've got someone in your life, is it worth it? Do you enjoy the rewards of your retardation? Of course not. But the scrote in this situation would lose out if he didn't have a slave. That's why men write this drivel. They rely on inexperienced, easily influenced retards to give them easy pussy and hot meals and clean homes.
Please, please leave the house and interact with the real world before you dig yourself into more shit than you bargained for. Men are attracted to anyone and anything, but they still degrade and cheat on literal top models, looks and age have nothing to do with it. Work on your self-confidence first, see any moid who hates women over 30 as a dodged bullet, and live your life for yourself, not desperately trying to meet some basement-dwelling mouthbreather's standards. Sorry if I sound harsh, I genuinely wish you all the best, and women in your situation are easy prey for failed abortions, you really need to know your own worth before you even think about dating.
No. 353258
>>353148Write out a list of qualities you like about yourself. Everything you can think of.
Reread it everyday until you view yourself better
No. 353296
>>353241Based. Men age horribly. And they cope with that by projecting their own insecurities onto women. Especially if they’re unsuccessful, balding or short.
Off topic, but has anyone been watching the Golden Bachelor? It’s actually quite wholesome. The bachelor himself is only interested in women that are in their 60s-70s. The women are all so confident and comfortable with themselves, emotionally mature, and beautiful. It’s truly refreshing to see. Men and women don’t lose interest in dating after a certain age.
I’ve also worked at nursing homes where groups of men will all be lusting over cute elderly woman. I’ve seen them take each other on little dates, leave love letters at each other’s doors, I even saw an elderly couple at my nursing home decide to get married. They were both in their 80s.
No. 353521
>>353518Bumped for a humblebrag that’s likely not even accurate because you felt the need to post about it as a form of self affirmation
You look your age.
No. 353539
>>353536>her grandma lived to 106 Damn. Was she also healthy? Living that long sounds kinda scary, unless you don't have any debilitating conditions
>Have there been any perks?People don't take me seriously and they question my competence and my knowledge. Men my age don't hit on me…
No. 353541
>>353539Yeah she was healthy, just got old and passed in her sleep, always lived at home (one of her daughters lived with her and helped her with stuff a lot though). Lived off her dead husbands pension for like the last 50 years of her life and enjoyed her hobbies and grandkids.
Bummer you’re experiencing the downsides to looking young. Maybe you can subtly or not-so-subtly bring up your age more often (kind of a silly idea but you never know) or get a WFH job where people don’t see you in person so they can’t judge.
No. 353571
>>353543I didn't say I don't like it
>>353547I'm 29
No. 353594
>>353536>her grandma lived to 106My grandma is 98 and her sister died at almost 101. And no one believes my age nor my mothers or siblings.
I feel like Highlander.
No. 353596
>>353594I have a similar family. My bio dad (estranged) is near 50 and looks late 20s. My mother is also near 50 and looks late 30s.
My bio grandparents and greats are all aging like wine and living up to 100.
My brother does not have the same exact genetics as me, and has my non-bio dad’s genetics. People assume he’s mid 30s. He’s 5 years younger than me. People tend to think I’m his little sister and that I’m starting college this year. I’m 28.
In terms of aging I have great genetics and haven’t aged at all since 19/20, but one downside is my bio family is batshit insane and I inherited a lot of mental health issues
No. 353603
>>353599He has aged that well. It’s really weird and it sort of bothers me. He’s also immature, like emotionally stunted so he both looks and acts like he’s in his late 20s. It bothers me quite a bit. The only thing “aged” about him is that he has some gray hairs, but it’s mostly brown and he’s got a full head of hair. No balding yet
He has a lot of Native American blood, like 50-60%, that could be why? He also works out nonstop. Anyways it’s legit. But I do agree, most men age like milk
No. 358405
File: 1699819642002.jpg (143.9 KB, 1213x1500, Julie-Newmar-batman-4ca3819882…)
Bumping this thread to say I only just discovered Julie Newmar was 33/34 when she played Catwoman - an absolute stunning icon, ladies you do not hit the wall in your 30s…
No. 358476
>>353259>sexiest piece of assUgh. Gross scrotespeak.
>>353296Theres literally studies that show men age biologically faster than women do. Not to mention men die younger too.
No. 358478
>>353111Kek, redpill rhetoric is absolute copium bollocks.
Men absolutely do not ‘suddenly start slaying pussy’ just after taking a shower and getting a haircut. Even incels know this advice is a crock of shit kek.
The only time I’ve seen loser moids suddenly succeed in pulling women is when they fly to South East Asia and literally have to pay impoverished third world women to tolerate spending time with them. That counts as ‘slaying’ to moids and they’ll happily brag about the fact that they’re so naturally repulsive to women they had to fly halfway across the world and engage in paid rape in order to make sexual contact with a female, with zero self awareness about their own repulsivity whatsoever.
No. 358507
>>358506Don’t worry about it. He was leaving part unsaid, he was likely implying “but were so compatible / I could see us together I didn’t even realize you’re obviously younger than me
lol”
No. 358646
I'm gonna be 29 in 3 months and I'm getting paranoid. Suddenly I care for what people think and I hate it. I hate the fact people will judge me after finding out I'm a kissless virgin and I'm single and thinking that it's because maybe nobody ever wanted me, which isn't true. It just so happened I was fully aware of my hatred for men since I was like 16 and I never ever wanted to date men (despite not being a lesbian), I hated when men looked at me etc. Tbh I also think I had delayed social development in many areas because of my autism, I only started wanting to have friends and maybe also try dating when I was like 26. But then it got to me that I simply don't have the social skills to bond with anyone, be it platonically or romantically. I still can't see myself sharing my private space with a man though. I can't see myself doing one night stands either. Since I was never close to any male in my life, men seem so alien-like to me. I don't know if there's even a point in trying to date someone "out of curiosity". I'm only scared of people's judgement. I'm also scared it will be harder to make friends with age. Basically everybody in my age range I know is already in a relationship and, of course, they spend most of their free time with their boyfriends and girlfriends. Meanwhile I'm at a mental stage where I would just like to hang out with people, I'm not even talking about partying because I was never interested in drinking, taking drugs and going to clubs like some people my age. I'm just interested in doing hobbies together, going to cinemas, museums, cons, some nice restaurants etc. But I don't know anyone my age (besides me) who would have time for it and who would prefer that to spending time with their partner. I feel like I literally don't belong anywhere and it's getting worse with age since the gap between me and the normies grows drastically. I knew it will be like this even when I was 12 years old, I knew I won't fit in anywhere, but I never expected myself to live to 25
No. 358652
>>358622I see that alot on Facebook where the dudes look fucking awful Sid from iceage creatures.
Bro I get you're bitter noones touched your cock but goddamn have some self awareness.
I just post their own profile picture on their comment and it tends to get a few laugh reactions.
The audacity is stored in the nutsack.
No. 359594
>>358646> I'm just interested in doing hobbies together, going to cinemas, museums, cons, some nice restaurants etc. But I don't know anyone my age (besides me) who would have time for it and who would prefer that to spending time with their partner.Have you tried asking anyone to hang out? Most people spend time doing normal things like that with their friends even if they have partners. Maybe the partner could come along eventually and you could have two friends.
I'm a volcel for the past 10 years, and I'm scared of being judged but being judged is a small price to pay for living the life I want and am comfortable with. Why should I do something I don't want to do just in case someone idc about has inaccurate negative thoughts about me? It might upset me to know people think less of me, but that upset is not worth making any sacrifices or compromises for. And tbf the judgement is never as harsh as you'd expect based on, say, the internet - literally nobody cares about my chronic lack of a boyfriend, and I'm 32 so older than you. Just go make some friends.
No. 360093
File: 1700480750302.jpeg (227.26 KB, 607x610, IMG_4625.jpeg)
I’m not aging well and it really gets to me. Not to send any other nonas into a tailspin because I think I’m unlucky in this respect but I really started looking old at 31. I’m now 34 and things are not going well. It sucks because I do feel people treat me differently than when I was 25, 27, 28 even. I can no longer feel attractive to anyone. Shitty personality notwithstanding, it does feel over for me. Anyway ymmv. I’m glad at least I did experience some lightning in a bottle things where I made the most of my youth and looks… I just thought I had more time. Inb4 vain bitch…. I know.
No. 360153
>>360149Same. Also creepy moids leave me alone because I'm "past my prime". I can finally just be an invisible matron.
We want a large family too. Husband wants four but I dream of six (it'll probably be four). We had one when I was 26 and another when I was 27. It's nice having them close in age, and I've been happier as a mom than I thought I would be. I was always spergy and weird so I thought I would be shit, but it's completely the opposite. Excited to have more.
If you're okay having kids when you're older, I wouldn't worry too much. But if you can, start trying. It would be good to know if you're someone that gets knocked up easily or if it'll be a big issue.
No. 360158
>>360153We're about to start month 3 of trying (period ended today), I'm giving it until March then we will both go get checked for issues.
Fingers crossed this month is the month.
In a perfect world I'd like to have the babies back to back but I know it's not likely. I want at least 4, I will be content with 2.
No. 360378
File: 1700587256255.png (2.14 MB, 2048x1468, 1699580765739.png)
>>360076I'm 34, just left a 22 year old, having a crisis about it.
I've always seemed to attract younger guys but I feel like I've suddenly started to look so much worse, and older, like just in the past year. I lost some weight so maybe that's it.
I'm panicking and not sure if I regret leaving him, I live in a college town and feel like I can't compete anymore and should just give up on everything in life. I don't even have a good paying job, I had to move back in with my mom after losing a job a few years ago.
A year ago I was in art school and enjoying my 12 years younger bf, and now I've dropped out of both of those things and I want to go back to school for accounting since I can't stand living with roommates and want to at least have money since apparently I'll never be loved.
I mean, he loved me, but he was also extremely draining and mooched off me, when I quit smoking weed a few months ago I just couldn't deal with him anymore. But I'm really scared I messed up because I had an actual loyal moid. And now I have nothing and no prospects because I'm too masculine. Being GNC and straight is already hellish, now I'm old too, might as well just kms.
No. 360382
>>360379I mean, people tell me they're surprised at my age, but normies love to kiss ass and act nice so who knows. I do think we are all our own harshest critics.
>>360380Are you hardmaxxing? I felt like I looked way better with fillers and botox tbh even though it gets a lot of hate in this thread.
No. 360386
File: 1700588892877.gif (213.79 KB, 275x100, 1476126698197.gif)
>>360379I find this life-ends-at-suchandsuch thing so insufferably autistically negative, 23 year olds on tiktok are saying this, it's so pathetic, just drink water, eat healthy, go to the gym, use retinol, take the cold shower, try your best to improve yourself according to what you're interested in, u are fine
No. 360393
>>360392I have hypermobile joints and am in my 30s so by all accounts I should be doubling over in knee, joint, neck and back pain every day but I exercise and take care of myself so I don't. I'm so annoyed at the people who make jokes about being in constant pain and going
>haha we're such old hags now, am I right?Maybe you are but I sure am not. Being in poor health in your 30s isn't normal.
No. 360629
File: 1700726452036.jpeg (372.81 KB, 1125x1765, IMG_9438.jpeg)
Sorry for the vanity here, I just have a burning question and wanted some opinions.
This girl on TikTok made a video (picrel) of what people think 30 looks like vs what she really looks like. She looks great and is very obv very pretty, but at the same time I feel like she had lip injections and/or fillers Botox. If so more power to her and I’m wanting to do similar. Do anons here think this is 100% natural? She’s 32
No. 360632
File: 1700726863359.jpeg (1.31 MB, 1125x1485, IMG_9440.jpeg)
>>360630More natural for reference
No. 360641
>>360639i have exactly the same problem as you but i can confirm this nonna right here is right
>>360640 i’m elder zoomer (97) and i realised just how unhealthy tiktok is for my mental health and deleted it. please take care of yourself nonna
No. 360754
>>360632Those lips are obviously fake, nonnita.
That being said she does have great bone structure and is naturally pretty.
No. 361057
File: 1700916683892.png (59.85 KB, 757x758, IMG_0207.png)
I’m gonna be 30 in April and I’m so excited for it. I actually love telling people I’m pushing 30 because it’s funny to say but also they get so shocked. Like people really have this idea that 30 year old women look drastically different from mid twenties women it’s so weird. A girl at my job keeps telling me how shocked she is that I’m almost 30 but she is 27 ???. I feel like once the 94 girlies turn 30 the conversation on 30 something women will shift. And yes I’m only saying this Because I’m born in 94 and think it’s a flex cuz it sounds the cutest out of all 90s and especially new millennium babies lol. 1994 women are coming to take over what it means to be a 30 something women! Mark my words
No. 361254
I'm one of those whose who's terrified of turning 30. Just a few years ago I couldn't understand at all why some women no longer like birthdays and now it suddenly hit me too.
It's not because I'm worried about no longer being attractive to scrotes, I never cared about that. My problem is my huge peter pan syndrome, I simply don't want to be a "proper" adult. I love being my parents and grandpas princess, I enjoy the way most (older) adults in my small town still treat me like a kid and being the young newbie at work is also useful.
I don't ever want to have to stop calling myself "girl" instead of "woman", I can't stand the thought of one day no longer looking young enough to be able to throw on a simply shirt/hoodie, put my hair up in a ponytail and still look effortlessly somewhat cute. I also hate how many new celebrities are younger than me and already living great lifes.
My parents are super loving and patient, so it's not like I'm under pressure by them, but I still feel guilty for not being more normie and for likely never gifting them a grandchild. Making it worse, my siblings are also useless (priest brother and teenage but also already thinking about becoming childless sis). The thought of marrying, becoming pregnant and being a mom unironically triggers me so so much since a few months. I never thought that this life was for me but recently it starting scaring and disgusting me. I can barely consume any media anymore because I feel like babies and happy families are pushed onto you in every single commercial, movie, show, whatever and especially social media. And of course it's the only topic 99% of women after a certain age care and talk about.
I never mocked "older" women as a teen but I still feel sorry for not understanding just how hard it is so age out of the "young woman" range, people can be so cruel to you…
No. 361378
>>361254As long as you're independent you're doing nothing wrong. You're not under some moral obligation to "gift" your parents grandchildren.
Anyway you should probably focus on other valuable things. Aging out of a phase in your life is okay when you have things you value in your life that aren't tied to your age or looks.
No. 362210
>>362208Kill him.
Just kidding nona. Don’t let him neg you like that, if you’re old he’s geriatric. Start commenting on his hairline and weight or something lol
No. 369867
>>369865Thank you sweet nona but the age range for the job description I was interested in would have required me to debut at around 21 max. I worked hard to try and break through but it took me longer because my parents didn’t have enough money to send me to training early like all the other kids did, so by the time I was working to save up and train I was already kinda over the hill but there was still hope for me, a couple producers told me that I was talented and they expressed interest in working with me.
Then I ended up getting a chronic illness and it completely destroyed me and took away most of my remaining youth. By the time I could attend training in person again they basically just told me ‘Yep you’re too old now and your resumé has a massive gap so we’re not interested and we have no place for you, sorry!’
I know if it had been meant to be then I would have gotten it, I just have so many regrets and my diagnosis was delayed which delayed treatment too. I just feel like I was failed by the people around me and I also failed myself. I’m still bitter about it. I have friends that managed to get big breaks and I’m happy for them but also ache with jealousy at seeing how far they’ve come while I feel like I stopped carving my path at 24. There were only around 100 spots out of 500K+ applicants that were ever available anyway so it’s not like the odds were looking that good to begin with. I also knew a couple people who could have got me in but lost touch with them as they progressed in their own careers and I got left behind. I’m just venting sorry. I just can’t get over how badly I fucked up and everyday I’m filled with regret. I wouldn’t even minded a very short period of success before becoming a hasbeen, it’s so much worse to be a never was. I wish I’d pushed myself so much harder.
No. 369869
>>369867Have minded**
Excuse my butthurt rant. I guess I’ll always be salty over this.
When people say you should never stop striving to achieve your goals and dreams, they’re right and you should listen to them. Don’t be like me, nonas.
No. 369870
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>>369860Me when I was in me 20's in the 00's, now I'm near my 40's and I feel I haven't archive nothing like my friends had (travels, recognition, a partner…). I would like to be that
nonnie that made her hobby for passion, walk a lot with her friends and even have the wish to study.
No. 370441
>>369857>>369867I'm in a somewhat similar boat as you, except it's entirely my fault.
It sounds like you wanted to be an actress or a dancer? Did they tell you that you're too old at 24? That's so brutal… I went to school with a 40yo woman who studied acting when she was young, never got any roles and then had to restart her life at 40+. So I always felt like taking classes for that was a waste of time.
Back then my teen friends and I mocked her so much but now I feel her…Since I was in kindergarten, I've always wanted to become famous. First as a model (every adult joked that I should model since I was so tall and skinny, so that planted the first seed), then as a singer, then as a youtuber, then as a musician in a band… Sounds so silly but that's how it is. I can't get it out of my head. And that wish just get's stronger the older I turn because I'm scared of forever regretting my life choices once I'm old.
I've also dreamed of becoming an actress, frankly still do nowadays. I had to do a little bit of theatre in university and really enjoyed it but the entertainment/movie industry in my country is so awful, every young person only consumes foreign media, all those actors here are a walking humiliation, I'd loathe to be part of them. Therefore I would need to go to a different country and who wants to see an actress with an accent? That leads to the second issue of me at least on the outside being a proper adult, with a proper job that makes my parents proud, so I technically have a lot to lose. Secretly going to auditions and trying my luck in my city is one thing, but moving across the ocean to e.g. LA? Insanity.
Then I was 18 I planned to not even start university and instead immediately try my luck. But in the end I wielded to my parent's will and studied for a good girl job. Maybe this was a good thing because fresh out of high school I was so insanely naive, I would have gotten eaten alive. But on the other hand I feel like I totally wasted the last 9 years. I was so young and also pretty, much more dumb and confident than I am now, and that alone gives you a head start in the entertainment industry. Technically I am still "young" now but every year counts… I'm positive that close to all celebrities use fake ages, so maybe we should be just more bold in faking things. I also feel like maybe just 10 years ago competition was less fierce but now everybody is so plastic, even (pre)teens are so great at makeup, styling and photoshop, plus so many shows, brands, and so on just use some social media influencers instead of an actual "artist".
I feel like I must at least try to achieve something with music because otherwise I will never be happy (tho failing could also depress me further…sigh).
My current job is horrible but I also can't truly picture myself in any other career, I would always just continue daydreaming about being a shining star admired by others. People love freshly 20yo musicians but there's still a bit of a leeway to be slightly older or keep your age somewhat secret as long as you look the part.
Another problem of mine is that due to my dream I kept putting off relationships, 1. because I secretly feel like all moids with normal jobs are boring/beneath me and 2. what if I fall in love and then miss out on a great career opportunity? I can't let myself get tied down to just one place, I want the option to one day just pack my bags and go for it. I think I already vented about this in this thread but it's so cruel how moids can hit it bit at any age
and at the same time start a normal family because their wife at home will take care of anything while they work for their dream career - meanwhile as women you have to choose between one or the other.
No. 370472
>>370448>>370459There are many artist that started their art career in their 40's, and now with internet being more accessible to post your art, is easier to reach at certain point.
I wanted to work in the animation/publishing industry too, but the more I have seen the drama and the more I see how easier is to work as freelancer, the better I focus on my own.
No. 370726
>>370676Is that really what the other anon said tho?
I know that most people in their lifes at one point likely had unrealistic dreams but managed to let go of them, to lead a more or less happy normal life.
But on the other hand all old people will always tell you that their biggest regret is not following their dream.
I feel like I will never be content with anything unless I at least try. I will be 40 and wonder what if… then 50,60 and so on. And I will always feel like I should have done it while I was still young.
My biggest problem atm is that you have to give up so much. Quitting your normal job, moving away, risking so much, people judging you… all that seems much easier and less scary when you're just a kid.
No. 370858
>>370844>I keep fighting the “why bother, life will never be as good as it was before”. Rather than that, I keep fearing that it only gets worse.
At 18 I was still so blissfully naive and happy, just a decade later the reality of being an adult caught up with me, nothing brings me joy anymore, every single day is a struggle. So what will be in another 10 years? Or 20? 30?
The thought that I am stuck in this body with this brain for another maybe 70 years sounds torturous.
No. 370952
>>370858it's really not as bad as you think. I went through something very similar when I was your age
Have you considered or tried either ketamine therapy or psilocybin therapy?
No. 371122
>>371120the wall isn't about not having men be interested in you, every woman of any age will always have an infinite amount of attractive young men who are interested in them. Rather, the wall is about it being more difficult to find an ltr with a high quality guy (because by the time you are 35 all the guys who are attractive while also being good partners have been already taken) and about no longer being admired for your beauty by society at large.
The first part really isn't a big deal, and even if it was, it doesn't mean that settling down with some MRA scrote in your 20's is a good solution. But I will admit that the second thing is a bit of a jolt at first. Although now after I have gotten used to it I much prefer it over the constant catcalls and demands from moids passing me on the sidewalk that I smile for them.
Honestly, your better off forgetting about scrotes and just restricting your dating pool to women. There is no return on investment with males
No. 371134
>>371127>but MRA rhetoric has escalated to the point that they argue any woman over 30 is worthless and hideous with no chance of marriageEven moids can't be this delusional. Men are much more desirous of marriage than are women in all age groups 30 and above. Literally any woman at any age can find a scrote to marry if she wants to and everybody knows that. I'm sorry, I just can't believe that even an MRA would be retarded enough to dispute that.
>and I never doubted that the older anyone gets, man or women, the harder it is to find 'high value' partners since they are already marriedBut it isn't just that, it's also that with age comes loss of SMV. This effects women more than men because the overwhelming majority of men never had any SMV to begin with (the few men who actually are attractive get hit by the wall a million times harder than women do because, unlike us, they don't have the emotional strength to deal with the loss of their beauty). And women make it even worse for themselves because most women refuse to date younger men, further constricting their already limited pool of potential partners.
And, speaking as an old hag, you can't use sex to control the relationship when you are 38 the same way you did when you were 22. Not only do you no longer have the "it" factor, but older scrotes don't get led around by their dicks the same way that they did when they were young.
No. 371138
>>371134If you need sex to control the relationship, it's a relationship not worth bothering with. And you sound like a man.
>SMV>I'm an old hagI wouldn't call myself an old hag if you put a gun to my head. Get some self-respect.
No. 371257
>>37118834 and not married, I want to be and have a family but looking at the relationships around me throughout the years I've realized that it's always the women who make the compromise, not the men
I had guys chase me in my 20s and shot all of them down, some men I knew even told me that I'll be "sad and miserable" when I'm over 30 because I didn't marry some man I didn't even have what to talk with.
How some men, and even women, expect you to give yourself away and have sex with someone you feel nothing for, is beyond me.
Better single than in a miserable relationship. Idc about sex.
Besides, I've always been single and never let peer pressure get to me.
No. 371392
>>371188Same for me, except I'm only 28
>many women nowadays choose to not get married and have childrenis such a lie, because where are those people?
No. 371395
>>371392Nta. It probably depends a bit on your area and social circles. I'm in very left leaning city and most young women (mid 20s or so) I talk to don't want kids, but back where I grew up in a relatively conservative town, most girls I went to school with are already married with a first kid or serious plans to get started once they find suitable housing.
Objectively it's true fewer women choose to get married and get kids because statistics show that far fewer people marry than previous generations (not sure how much of that is compensated by registered partnership) and that birth rates are dropping acoss the West and developed Asia.
No. 371505
>>371409Most moid's can't even tell the true age of women anyway. Incels go on rants about how women hit the wall after like 20 or something and then post a comparison of a woman aged 30 and 55 as proof kek.
>>371184KEK
No. 374532
>>374525My youngest sister is 10 years younger than me, I had to be her second mom, I changed her diapers and fed her on a regular basis when she was a baby, I brought her home from school and took her to her sports lessons after that, made her do her homework, met some of her teachers when my parents couldn't, would monitor her internet usage because of my clueless boomer/gen X parents giving her an ipad when she wasn't even 10yo yet, etc. so she's a little baby to me. Seeing guys her age hitting on me makes me want to puke, I just can't unsee it, they're all the same little babies to me. It disturbs me and I feel insulted that they think I'm their age.
The few guys my age who interact with me outside of contexts where they're forced to are hideous beyond belief, Muslim trash or hope I'm still in high school. Or some combination of these things at the same time. I'd like to believe I could potentially find and date a good looking man my age who respects me and doesn't have the thought process of a dangerous criminal but given that I'm a clueless virgin it's extremely unlikely.
No. 374922
Now, I'm not 30 yet so sorry if I shouldn't post, but I'm mid 20's on the side approaching 30's, so an elder zoomer. I think a lot of women could benefit from befriending "older" people. Now, I've never, not even as a child, viewed 30 as old, in my mind 20 year olds are basically teens 2.0 while at 30 you are an adult, but still very young. But after befriending a lot of 30-35 year old though my bf, who also is an elder zoomer, it has just solidified my belief that nothing really differs that much post 30. Especially for women, looks wise, pretty much no difference in 20's and 30's. Men however age like shit kek. I think a lot of women with fear of aging would chill out if they actually got to know post 30 women, and maybe even look forward to being 30.
No. 388468
>>388460> It feels like all the shit I secretly liked as a teenager in the late 2000s/early 2010s is cool now.Bruh I relate so much to this. It pisses me off how I had to hide my love for that stuff, and specifically pokemon and then pokemon go happens and everyone openly loves it while I got bullied intensely to the point I actively pretended not to know anything about any nerdy subjects.
I wouldn't go so far as to say nobody bats a eye at weird hair or outfits. Scene kids hair was basically anime hair. Just wear what you want. I do think a lot of things zoomers get shit on for was the same thing millennials got shit on for too with only some differences due to technology changing.
No. 388508
>>388483so I don't think people here would like her since she's genderspecial, but I really love what yeule is doing. her last album feels like all the stuff I was obsessed with as a teenager rolled into one, shoegaze, glitch, moody turn of the millennium alt rock, edgy anime-influenced cyberpunk aesthetics, there's even an aphex twin shoutout on the last track… as a nerdy high schooler who listened to "weird" techno that nobody cared about, I would've probably gone crazy for that.
in general I really like how old school rave and drum and bass is bleeding into pop. to take a mainstream example, it's kinda crazy to hear Pinkpantheress do 2000s-ish pop/R&B over some old school breaks and have that be massively popular. when I was into that stuff it wasn't quite vintage yet, plus now we live in a post-vaporwave world where people are constantly on the look-out for retro electronic music to revive and recontextualize. another trend I like is how much more room there is for international artists to break through, as
>>388498 said. random example, but another band I was obsessed with in high school was Mass of the Fermenting Dregs, who apparently just did their first NA tour and is finally getting a bigger audience. there are a lot more Japanese artists who like Otoboke Beaver, tricot, Haru Nemuri, chai, who similarly have broken out into the "indie mainstream". I was just seeing the beginnings of this in my teens and early 20s but the internet has really blurred the line between mainstream and underground. another example, just look at how vocaloid started as this weird hobbyist otaku thing and now is a huge international phenomena that in turn has influenced real life singers like ado (super talented imo).
>>388498I do wonder how zoomers are going to dress when they hit their 30s, I guess they'll leave the flamboyant stuff behind in the same way millennials left behind scene. though I guess there's always space for that, a while ago I went to goth night at a local venue and it was filled with elder goths vibing to EBM
No. 388592
>>388468>It pisses me off how I had to hide my love for that stuff, and specifically pokemon and then pokemon go happens and everyone openly loves it while I got bullied intensely to the point I actively pretended not to know anything about any nerdy subjects.Ouch, same. I lost all interest in stuff like anime and Pokemon after high school due to bullying and wanting to have more "mature" interests, but now everyone likes both and I see Pokemon merch at work. I've tried to get back into both, but I hate modern media so much.
>>388460Eh, I'm 32 and dress in an "alternative" style and I don't get weird looks, I'm just assumed to be 20-24 instead. Some things like crazy scene hair are suited for high school but nothing is forcing you to becoming an NPC fashion-wise in a few years (unless its a career dress code or something).
No. 397189
Now that high schoolers in my country are currently having their final exams, it marks exactly 10 years of me having graduated - and I'm still exactly the same, zero growth (except being fatter and uglier). Back then I felt so insanely happy, I thought my life will be so great and I had so many huge dreams but I achieved nothing. I do have a job and I rent an apartment (still spend a lot of time at my parents house tho) but that is kind of the minimum if you're not a total disaster.
I still have the exact same interests, tastes and dreams as I did at 18 while everybody around me moved on and is now at a point of marrying, starting families, building houses, while I neither have any of this nor do I even want it. I feel like not having had many friends and especially not having had any romantic experiences as a teenager has stunted me for life and I've fallen so far back that I can never catch up. When I was in uni I used to complain about not finding a bf because all guys that age immediately expect to fuck - now I'm entering an age at which guys want to talk about having babies while everything I could stomach is an innocent ice cream date. It even still feels weird to refer to them as "men" and not "boys". Same as I don't want to be a "woman".
Since my last birthday I became so insanely insecure about my age, I feel like atm I still sort of larp as young, always being with my parents but that's not possible for much longer, plus one day I will also no longer "pass" as young visually. It's really insane how little I did in an entire decade, I just procrastinate 24/7, somehow magically expecting my life to change into the life of my unrealistic dreams.
Online you often see posts or videos of women in similar situations as mine but they're usually much younger, like "I'm 21 and never been kissed!", "I'm already 24 and still haven't been in a proper relationship!" and yet they're already seeing it as a genuine big problem, while I'm so strangely unbothered by this? I feel like I'm supposed to panic but instead I just daydream all problems away. Some people told me to try dating apps but that would mean immediately revealing how old I already am and that would result into moids easily into their 30s or older approaching me because that's what's considered normal but I just can't. It's not like I'm still attracted to 18yo school boys but (except online) I never see a moid my age that is still attractive either and as time flies by this will obviously only get worse. How am I supposed to find a moid at 35, 40, whatever, if they look like that? I also can't ever imagine feeling ready to live with somebody who isn't family, it would feel too real, too final, like I really gave up all I ever dreamt of and settled for a normal life with a moid.
On the one hand I know that I shouldn't just do things because of what society expects from a woman but on the other hand I'm scared that suddenly I'll be old and feel like I wasted my life doing nothing, daydreaming, being online…
No. 397192
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>>396795>>396959Even moids feel bad turning 30. It's just scary getting older and your parents getting older and the expectations of what you should be and have at that age are scary. You're more aware of your mortality and it's scary! Yeah the process of aging is scary too and not being seen as beautiful impacts you more as a woman, but really there are so many things beyond that. And some of us were never seen as beautiful so it doesn't matter. It's perfectly normal to feel scared about it. It's not only about looks.
I find myself feeling embarrassed cause I like "childish" things. And feel like I don't know how to "act" or dress my age and worry I'll just look weirder the older I get for it… but at the same time I remember graduating high school/turning 21 and feeling exactly the same way. Worried about still having childish interests, not knowing how to a dress my age, scared of the future. It's just the human condition. 30 is just a number and when you turn 30 you realize not much has changed and we're all lost trying to figure out this life.
My best advice is to accept the things out of your control. It's ok to be scared of the future. We're all figuring these things out. I will say the older I get, the less I care about impressing others or pretending to be someone I'm not and it's freeing. I may be cringe but I'm free.
No. 397204
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>>396959>To lose your youth is to lose a certain kind of beauty, and you’ll never be considered beautiful like younger girls, just beautiful “for your age”.For women beauty and youth is always interwined and that's exactly what's so scary, nearly everything else is something you can work on or improve in life but aging is only something that you might be able to slow down somewhat, never stop or reverse. And yet it's something so essential for us in order to get treated well.
Pic is from "Beauty and the Double Standard of Aging" by Susan Sontag, published over 50 years ago and yet still so true nowadays.
Of course moids might feel pressured to have a good job or if they are good sons they feel dread at slowly seeing their parents get old but aging for them is nothing like what women experience.
No. 397721
I’m pregnant and choosing to abort due to financial instability, plus I’ve yet to feel a strong urge to be a mom or have a baby. The whole concept of pregnancy sounds like a nightmare to me. Then the aftermath - the toll on the body, the irreversible changes, blah blah.
I won’t lie, there’s a part of me that’s really curious and would likely love the baby to death if I had it. But I wouldn’t be able to provide a stable home life, I’m just not financially secure enough to raise a kid. I can barely handle my cats.
One thing that does terrify me is potentially wanting a kid in the future, but not being able to conceive due to aging. I’m 29 now, I’ve had a couple abortions already (ages 18, 23). I feel like I might be full of regret and self hatred for aborting during the years I had “peak fertility”.
Like, what if when I turn 30-35, I’ll really want a baby and I won’t be able to conceive? That would be a nightmare knowing I had ample opportunity and chose to terminate in my 20s.
Any thoughts on the whole declining fertility rhetoric? It sounds like something that’s perpetuated by men, maybe I’d be just fine in the future. It’s sort of distressing to think about right now though. Am I fucking up? Are we really supposed to keep a pregnancy even when we’re unable to support the baby? Is it a race against time?
No. 397744
>>397731Ugh, knowing my fertility I might actually end up as one of those mid forties ladies. Which is both comforting and terrifying. All of my pregnancies happened with tons of preventative measures in place. I can’t imagine how many I would have had without protection
A baby sounds like a fun experience, I think they’re cute, and I’m like “sure, that would be a fun thing to try out!” But that’s not enough. Babies aren’t experimental unfortunately.
No. 397927
>>397189I can relate. I feel somewhat lucky that people still often mistake me for being in my 20s. However, it is just prolonging the inevitable and the lines on my face are slowly showing up. I am still insanely autistic with somewhat childish interests and fashion sense so I am also dreading my physical appearance eventually not aligning with that.
I also deeply dread the day when my parents pass and it doesn't help that many of my uncles and aunts have either passed away or are battling cancer. Every little health problem my parents have caused me to worry about them. I feel like my world is going to completely shatter when they finally pass away as I pretty much have no life outside my family.
No. 399500
I know I'm not allowed to be in this thread but forgive me, I don't know where else I can talk about this. I'm 21.
I live in a thirdie muslim shithole. All my life I've been controlled by my parents. I don't have any friends from childhood, because I wasn't allowed to hang out with them after school. My parents thought they were bad to be around and even interferred in my class one day and made them sit far away from where I sit, we were 13/14. The one friend I was allowed to have suddenly turned on me and began hanging out with the other girls and stopped talking to me. I had no one except the internet because somehow at that time my parents weren't aware that I could make friends on there. I made some online friends and lost some. In the end, I'm still lonely and never had a real friendship, or a relationship. All I do is study and play games. My parents did everything a strict parent does, but atleast they haven't married me off so I guess that's good.
Now that I'm older I've gotten better at hiding my tracks and my parents gave up trying to moderate my internet usage, but it's still not good enough. I missed out on being a teen and I'm missing out on my 20s.
I have plans to escape this hellhole, with or without my parents approval. However, I will be in late 20's then. There's a chance I'll be able to leave after I turn 25 but it's not looking very good so 28 is my guess. I will have a somewhat useful degree by then that will allow me to get a job somewhere easily and the rest I'll do in secret if I have to.
In my head, I am 30 already. I feel like I haven't done anything in my life at this point and won't be able to do anything until I turn 30. That's when I will atleast have some money saved up and be fully independant. But then what? I don't know myself. I've never been a girl. No one wants a 30 year old who's still discovering herself and has no idea how to do anything besides work. I've already lived most of my life alone, so what's the point of doing all of this if I won't have anyone, if it's not going to change? Sure, waking up in my own house and being free to do what I want is nice. But it will all get boring very fast. The one person who promised to stay, left me because he couldn't wait any longer. Even if I find someone someday, I don't know if I can truly be myself around them. What if I find the wrong person? Do I have to start over again? One day it will be too late. I don't know if I will be capable of making friends in real life.
I feel like I was forced to grow up very fast when I was younger that now I'll forever be childish. I just wish to go out and run in the rain, but the people here will think I'm crazy and I'll probably get yelled at. I want to be able to laugh outloud with someone but I can't because women are not supposed to be heard. I turned into a very quiet and boring person. I want to be able to dance but I don't know how and I feel awkward/cringe when I do it even though I'm alone in my room. I want to play on a stupid swing, I want to be active. And while I can still do all that when I turn 30, it just won't be the same. My body feels like it's deteriorating and rotting due to the lack of movement. The most I can do is fast walk around my small room or run in place.
I don't want to shit up the thread with more rants about my life, it's just that I have nothing going for me right now, and whatever it is that I can achieve once I'm free, won't be satisfying to me and I'm contemplating if living is even worth it for me. Sorry if I come off as a cringe zoomie, I'm cry typing so some parts might not make any sense I apologize.
No. 405396
I'll share something I've noticed on myself recently. I think I'm healing from my body dysmorphia. There are still bad days, but overall, I finally don't care about how I look as much. I used to obsess about my flaws and saw them as much worse than they actually are. I didn't become delusional about my appearance, I simply accepted how I am and stopped stressing myself over it. I've been working really hard on myself, and it would be a lie to say things are perfect, but as I get older, I understand better what really matters to me. How I look doesn't matter half as much as I thought it did. I think part of this healing process came from the ageing and gaining experience, of course I still put in effort to resolve this issue internally, but seeing life happen to me and others around me have put things into a different perspective.
I take care of my appearance, but I don't obsess over it. I certainly don't spend too much money on beauty products as I used to. I can see through beauty marketing tactics and I don't fall for them as much as my insecure 20s ass used to. I'm not attributing all this solely to aging, but I think the experience is part of the contributing factor. I wished I could tell my 20s self to stop stressing so much over this, but I won't blame her for it either.
No. 406433
I'm 15 years past 30 but what's really crazy is I feel more confident and I love my body more than I ever did when I was younger. Turning 30 felt like such a big deal at the time but honestly, you get older and so much life happens your scale for things changes. I spent so much time in my 30's agonizing over accomplishing things. I do think 30's can be tough and filled with challenges, career, life, kids if you've got them. Maybe it's just me, but being in my mid-40's now, I mean heck it's pretty great except for the disappointment of seeing time march across your face. But your peers get older, too, so you're all in the same boat. People get more health problems, it's heartbreaking at times but your priorities and your standards change. It's really not so bad. I never appreciated how young and beautiful I was at the time. I think I even went through a very frumpy phase in my 30's when I "thought" I was "old". No regrets but I do kinda wish I had used Frownies in my 30's. Also it's true when you lose weight when you get older there isn't as much collagen to snap back. I got a bit chubby in my late 30's and then lost it and my neck/double chin never recovered. Depressing turkey-fication aside, It's really not that bad getting older. Used to agonize about my every perceived fault and how my peers had "better" bodies etc. But once you get older like, people's expectations for how you look go way down. Unless you live in LA or mythical Paris the reality is loads of middle age women are overweight, and because we're tired and generally dgaf anymore if you put even a tiny amount of care into your appearance suddenly you look so great by comparison. When you're 25, 30, 35, basically everyone looks good and some people look REALLY good. Some of us can't ever compete. I couldn't. This is for my average, slightly shapeless nonnas…. all those women with great boobs, snatched waists and lovely round bums in their 20's mostly eventually succumb to the ravages of time. This is where we rectangles with pancake bums can come into our own. Squats have really changed my bum. Middle age delusional confidence is a major beautifier kek my Nigel thinks I'm smoking hot and it took me getting into my 40's to agree. So don't fear your 30's. Wear your sunscreen, do squats if your knees permit and love yourselves.
No. 407428
early 30s here. my birthday is coming up so i’m going to wax on a bit here. as for the good: i moved a few years ago halfway across the country on more or less a whim. had my dream apartment and now own a house. i have a ‘real job’ with benefits. i have a very supportive partner who treats me better than i’ve ever been treated. i’m financially independent. i have a good relationship with my mom. i feel less social anxiety (i used to cry every time i had to go to a social event or even had plans to go out to eat or to the mall). i have developed a very strong radical feminist adjacent ethos and no longer feel swayed by passing social justice trends. i’ve ’come into my own’ in a way, in that i feel pretty secure about my beliefs, opinions, and feelings. i am no longer a doormat and am more comfortable with speaking out. i am comfortable being by myself, and comfortable with being comfortable being by myself.
bad/neutral: i am a few years out of a very long relationship. i am still ‘finding myself’ outside of that. there are still parts of me that feel lost, undefined, and lonely as a result of coming out of that relationship. i do not like my job. i struggle with feeling a lack of passion surrounding what i do, and feel like i made a lot of decisions (or didn’t) that led me to a place that doesn’t fulfill me. i feel like i am ‘too late’ to do a lot of things, or that im running out of time to change my trajectory in a meaningful way. i feel grateful for what i have, but ungrateful for not feeling fulfilled by it. i feel like my sense of wonder and creativity has gotten a bit lost. i miss having deep friendships. i don’t like having a lot of friends, but i don’t feel super strongly about the ones i have (me problem more than a them problem). i still struggle heavily with body image issues and hate myself for letting it impact my life in significant ways. i am in my 30s and still in and out of disordered eating habits.
all that to say, things have changed drastically from my late 20s to my early 30s, and some of that is positive and some negative. i guess that makes sense. i mostly want to address the directionless feeling i have in the coming few years, and make some changes to get myself out of this sort of rut i feel like ive been in the last few years.
No. 408634
>>340435I understand where you’re coming from. My traumas make me feel consistently one or two life stages behind my age group peers. I’m 33 and I want to start dating for the first time now. Most dating for the first time advice is aimed at the early twenties at the latest. I get hurt by getting called old because I know I lack the appropriate maturity for my age. I feel like an 18 year old who just happens to be working full time and paying off a house.
> I have detached completely from the younger generation or rather stopped keeping up with music and media so I really exude that "How do you do fellow kids?" energy if I have to socialize with them at work for instance but also feel totally unwelcome by the older crowdThis so hard. I avoid work socials because the people my age (or older) treat me like a kid since I’m single with no kids and the younger colleagues act disinterested in me. Sometimes if I’m lucky I find some unconventional women like myself to hang with but that’s quite rare.
No. 411265
>>411251if that were the case then why would men fear aging just as badly as women do? Your theory doesn't work
People fear aging because getting old sucks. Nobody likes physically deteriorating (actually there probably are some sick fucks who do, but other than them)
No. 411349
>>411294men absolutely do not believe that they age like wine. It's a meme and most men aren't delusional enough to fall for it.
Most men aren't very attractive so they don't lose much value by aging, but attractive men have an intense fear of getting older
No. 412072
>>412044>gerascophobiaHuh I hadn’t heard of that one. Interesting.
Anti-aging stuff is almost all a scam and it can do more harm than good (minor harm but harm you will definitely notice if you have young skin, although everyone will tell you it’s just your natural aging — it’s not) so be careful with that. Working out and sleeping well will do you more good in the long run, it’s not healthy to get obsessed with how your skin looks. Most of us have to accept we are not Lupita Nyong'o and our skin ages like a normal human’s kek
No. 412115
>>412072So true about the skincare. I keep the skincare to a healthy minimum to prevent damage. Mostly avoid the sun, use SPF, drink tons of water, moisturize. Lightly exfoliate with a warm washcloth and use aloe and honey as soothing products.
Truly need to workout more. This is the hardest transition of my life. I’d get a therapist but my health insurance won’t cover one, and I don’t make enough money. I’m in a totally illogical state of pure fear lately. All I want to do is disappear
No. 412652
Honestly, when I see a woman act like being a 30 whatever is so negatively impactful or spooky, it’s like she’s rubbing some basement neckbeard’s belly saying “help me big daddy” because that’s all the narrative exists for.
>>412044Get your hands off that man’s belly!
>>412072What kinds of harms can anti-ageing stuff do? Genuine question.
Also, everybody fretting in this thread should calm down. There’s literally nothing to being in your 30’s or older. Even if you feel unaccomplished, honestly, just stop feeling like that. It’s kind of vapid and self-bullying to degrade your life for comparison. Do your passions and things you like at your own comfortable pace, whatever you find it to be. Otherwise you might not do them properly, never giving your potential a true chance because you were competing with someone else. You don’t suddenly change or lose your identity in any aspect, incel propaganda is literally their own male cope, turn your brain on and ignore it. If anyone needs to hear it, you’re still good-looking, 30 doesn’t
trigger some hideous ageing and even the most scrotey men also find visibly aged women attractive, they just like to say otherwise for ideological reasons.
Pedestalising age groups (especially for universal experiences, what?) is choosing mental illness. Obsessing over a fantasy that can never be met because you’ve chosen to create impossible constraints. Then telling yourself you’re bad for not meeting these most likely underwhelming or mundane and still impossible fantasies. The entire purpose is to put yourself down and revel in melancholy instead of doing anything else. Then when you’re 40 you can do it again with your 30’s and so on. It’s developing an unfortunate personality type dressed up as some sort of reverse aspiration. The ageing aspect may as well be a coincidence.
No. 412672
>>411874>>411896>now it’s too lateAnon please. You can have sex with college men if you want, trust me they’ll be more than happy to oblige you.
>>412099, plenty of people don’t first have sex when you might think and it isn’t weird, nor does it get in the way of any enjoyment.
Indeed none of you have missed anything. Concerning “saving yourself” and being “too mentally ill” for it, what’s great about your position is that you can maturely work through any feelings and hang ups you have surrounding it all before diving in. Know how you want it to be. Then when you do, it’ll be with confidence and you giving intentional direction, instead of possibly getting roped into a fomo induced sense of duty. Like anon said, try sex toys if you’re craving something different but don’t, like literally never bother wasting energy feeling bad for a lack of or in any way unworthy of it.
No. 412673
>>412044>just being close to 30 So just being a woman, because there’s no adult life stage before your current one. 20’s is just a newly completed adult in material reality, which lucky for you, doesn’t consult your BDD. Interpersonal experiences will always vary because they’re dependent on different people everyday. Your perception will create and interpret patterns with as much doomerism as it’s setup to.
>lose their beauty in their 30s >I must look like an old hag…You aren’t even anywhere near middle aged. If an old hag is what you see in the mirror, then the commercial standard of beauty is “an old hag” whether you can personally recognise it or not. If anything, your issue is actually that you can’t stomach how much everybody loves old hags. The average man/woman not looking to abuse children, is after an old hag. That’s actually the origin of the term “wife” it comes from WILF “(generic adult) woman I’d like to fuck” kek.
>I don’t want to be perceived as a true adult womanThere is genuinely no downside to that perception (aside from sexism of course). I argue with fervour, that all of your best experiences have already been in that perception. People do not necessarily like teenagers, at best they’ll take on an adult kindergarten customer service attitude and at worst see them opportunistically as devices to use (to sell to, for ego or worse). It is an unfortunate delusion to fear that you will lose something, especially adoration when being perceived as a true adult woman.
Maybe try anthropomorphising the BDD messaging. “BDD says I’m not pretty enough”, in reality you’re perceived as a run of the mill, beautiful woman, which is indeed romantically favoured to and more alluring than a child. BDD is like an incel negging you tbh, if you listen to it and give in, you lose and will be miserable.
Remind yourself that curtailing the BDD is never done by believing it. It wants to get worse.
You have to look at reality, which is the opposite and also not the other people who’re also struggling or just failing with their own BDD.
No. 412909
>>411874>>411896You can have sex in your 30s, though? I wasn't ready to date and didn't have a relationship until my early 30s and I was surprised how attractive people found me. I was frankly ugly when I was 20, I didn't understand how to dress myself or do skincare.
>>412044The only women I know who "lost their beauty" in their 30s were addicted to drugs or smoking, which makes them look older. This incel mentality is pathetic.
No. 412930
>>411874mid 30s here and did the same until late 20s, I was pretty and had plenty of suitors though but didn't like a single one kek, had sex with an uggo because we had chemistry and tbh I regret it lmao
I'm always carded as looking good "for my age" but this past year I've been noticing some fine lines on my forehead which piss me off.
I hate aging, anyone who comes at me with the "it's a privilege and wrinkles are to be celebrated" can fuck right off. I've been a fit bitch pretty much all my life and I intend to keep in shape.
And since I missed out on college hookups too I want to have sex with a hot fit zoomer at least once,I'm so mad at myself for not living in a bigger city with access to cute guys when I was younger.
>>412916>chronic conditionsI got some of this shit too and it forced me to rethink a lot of my life activities, it fucking sucks
>Despite what people tell you, it really is too late to do certain things after a certain age100% agree, this one is a tough pill to swallow
> all I really want to do is make art and play games before I wake up 10 years later with even more regrets than I have nowI could've written this minus the game part (not anymore), it's hard but stop procrasting and start doing, severe anxiety is a joy thief and ruined some of the best years of my life (20s)
No. 413108
>>413101Are you the one in a bunch of threads lately talking about how everyone is secretly super jealous and intimidated by pretty people? Have you ever considered you have an annoying, narcissistic image obsessed personality, and that's why people don't like you? People like you aren't as subtle as they think.
>>413093Women who make fun of older women will find themselves very sad and lonely when they get to the age they made fun of for being pathetic and ugly. The only people who care about it are losers with a middle school bully mentality. Depending on your field, you could keep working up, if you wanted.
No. 413229
>>413212I just laugh and say "it's the round face and big eyes" but I have a round face and big eyes so I get this a lot from cashiers and stuff, no one that I'd be worried about seeming immature in front of. I don't really look young, it's just if you don't know me and just quickly scan the head/eye shape it reads as young.
Who says that kind of stuff to you?
No. 413315
>>413212I actually got "but you look so young!" quite a few times. I just ask them if it's a subtle diss and they're calling me old at 33. I know it's not and they're clumsily trying to compliment me or get onto my good side but it sure is tone-deaf. I also think I look my age, I just have short hair and dress very casual and androgynous because I like it that way. Which I guess reads as younger because it's not very adult corporate girl boss of me or whatever.
>>413093Ask her if she cries into her birthday cake every year next time she brings it up and tell her it sounds like a sad existence
No. 414321
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I’m going back to school to finally get my bachelor’s degree. I tried and failed in my early 20s but I flunked out 2nd year. I got in for neuroscience but I’m hoping to transition to a more profitable major. I see some of my friends have well-paying jobs in cybersecurity and I wonder if I should try that instead.
No. 414348
>>414259I was fat all throughout my 20s and never got to wear skimpy clothes. I'm in the process of losing weight now in my 30s and once I hit goal, I'm gonna wear nothing but crop tops and miniskirts. It will be glorious.
>>414263The brutal truth is that kids are likely to ruin your career either way, unless you have an exceptionally amazing husband. In most relationships, the mom is the one who is default expected to take the kids to appointments, pick them up from school when they're sick and stay with them, attend their school functions/conferences/volunteer, take them to play dates etc and they end up either missing at least some work for all that, or they simply aren't able to produce as well as men or people who don't have kids yet because they have more stress and are busier. Remember everyone thinks their Nigel will be different and take on equal responsibility but it rarely happens when the time actually comes.
No. 414619
>>414370It isn't bait, I have a few coworkers who are technically my superior and younger/the same age as me, and multiple people in my hobby who are younger than me are doing it for a living (which I wish I was doing).
I do understand I'm probably being a dumbass and only focusing on negatives. I'm happy about a lot of things, my main concern really is that being entry level while going on maternity leave will probably be a recipe for me getting laid off when returning and never finding work again.
No. 419400
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I'm going to turn 30 soon and I don't really dread it or anything. My only regret is that I am in grad school when I wish I was able to start sooner.
I would like to have a family and start dating again when I am out of school, but I am spooked by the idea that all the good guys have been taken. I don't doubt my own attractiveness and what I bring to the table necessarily. But it took me a long time to meet someone that I wanted to even date in the first place and after a four year relationship it's pretty daunting trying to find someone again. It just feels like a bigger decision now than my early 20's I guess. Another 4 year relationship isn't really in the cards for me if I really want to have kids. Everything just feels more serious now.
No. 419537
>>413093Ask her why she's so obsessed with your age. Ask if she feels less pathetic after trying to bring down another womans self esteem, when she should feel more pathetic. Or say sarcastically, "Im sure youll age gracefully…"
Theres literally nothing wrong with aging. We should be thankful that we have had at least this amount of time on earth. Millions of people arent that blessed, nowadays and throughout history.
No. 419829
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I just saw this book at the library, thinking of picking it up. Anynonnies read it? I'm only 31 but I feel my cognition is so fucked from being on meds and I'm afraid it'll only get worse
No. 420290
>>419969Same. Im very introverted and still have no idea what I want to do as a career. Im so ashamed of having accomplished nothing that I try to avoid people, and dread the questions, "So, what do you do for a living?", "Any husband/kids?…Not even a boyfriend?". And the looks/judgement begins..
At least Im not some filthy moid's bangmaid tho. Spousal abuse and being baby trapped is its own hell (at least I would get a baby out of it tho).
No. 420377
>>420352I'm in a similar position. Kind of loving life right now though because I have savings to live off of
Some days I feel like a loser but I left a corporate job and my mental health has improved drastically
No. 420487
>>420377NTA but kinda same honestly, I have some passive income so I'm mostly just hanging out with my best friend, spending time with my mom and playing videogames. I sometimes feel like a loser when people ask me about my job so I play up how involved I am in my investments like oh yeah I'm a big broker woman when I just sit there, get money sometimes and hope my investments don't ever ever crash kek
>>420352I relate to my career having dried up, it's not dead-dead but it became extremely competitive and the pay is so shit it's not even worth it, there's people working in Walmart that make more money, and there's absolutely no shame in working in Walmart but I got a university degree y'know?
No. 421264
In a couple of weeks I will start the last year of my 20s. After my last birthday I suddenly had a big breakdown and the only way of coping that works for me is constantly being online and daydreaming. To most people I might look pretty successful but socially and on the inside I'm the biggest loser.
I never dated before, I have zero experiences. But I also kind of don't want to date because I still feel as immature as I did when I finished high school. I wish I had lots of female friends to constantly hang out with, to travel with and I still dream of different, unrealistic careers. In reality I hardly have any friends left, and the ones who I still contact every couple of months are married moms, so our lifes don't match at all.
Sometimes I wish I was more outwardly nerdy when I was younger, I always tried to Cosplay as normie or popular. But even the nerdy girls my age got already coupled up with gamer bfs.
Being surrounded by couples everywhere makes me think I should date too, so that I could do fun things and traveling more, without feeling awkward and lonely.
On the one hand I already hate the way moids my age look and I feel sick at the thought of going on a date, and having serious discussions about whether I want kids, plus I want to study/move abroad, try to switch my career, to chase fame, so many (embarrassing) things that others do at a much younger age than me, so I feel like a bf would only stop me from following my dreams and cause me regret at old age.
But I'm also deeply scared of one day being in my mid 30s having failed what I want to try (or worse still haven't tried) and then feeling desperate about dating, but all moids are taken, are insanely oldlooking, are divorced, have kids, think I'm too old, and the list goes on.
Plus I'm sad knowing that I will never get to experience a cute first date with a cute young guy, a date in your (later) 30s is bound to be much more boring, you can't really do childish stuff like amusement parks anymore…
I so badly wish I could turn back time and do tons of things while I'm younger. Techically I'm still young now but each year everything gets so much more difficult, social norms are just so powerful, they really push you in the same mold as everybody else no matter how much you wish to live differently. And any bit of difference, like simply being 1 instead of 2, gets punished by being made to feel like you're an outcast. When I was young I always felt weirded out by women being scared of turning 30, but now I completely understand…
No. 421444
>>421264>moids insanely oldlookingWhat's up with that nonas, I recently saw a guy my age (34) looking like he could be my father
Like how, why?
No. 421470
>>421444this has to be one of those rare moments where female socialization actually wins this round over male socialization: women take a higher priority in taking care of ourselves and end up looking better than moids even when sharing the same exact age. i've known many men already balding in their mid-20s and women looking unbelievable just shy of turning 50.
that's what happens when men are fed the lie that they will always look good and will peak in their 40s kek. they just let themselves go and think it'll all magically work out.
No. 421723
File: 1722834109019.jpeg (1.16 MB, 1290x1597, IMG_4461.jpeg)
>>421444Tbh women just plain look better even when they have visible signs of aging — this lady is a model and keeps in shape but even her white hair and unbotoxed wrinkles have a dignity and gravitas to them, she looks like she could be a powerful, wise village elder.
Meanwhile men go bald at 25, their heads get wider and fatter; they always seem to hunch over and look like sad little worms. The only old man who ever truly looked cool and dignified is Gandalf (specifically the White). Mainly the long flowing hair and beard tho. Why the fuck do men let themselves go bald with all the rogaine and fin they got???
No. 421726
>>419984I feel it
nonnie (also 34). Even though I have a good job, since I’m single and don’t have kids or own property it’s like I haven’t accomplished shit in everyone’s eyes. I’m spending so much time alone now and can’t make friends because every time I do, they eventually get into a relationship and drift off.
To be fair to us though, we could be working at Walmart and unmarried / single moms and we’d still be treated as more mature and accomplished as long as we had kids because it’s the only “true” accomplishment for women over 30 in most people’s minds. (Nothing against women working at Walmart or single moms actually, it’s just annoying)
No. 421789
>>421444They don't take care of themselves and are extremely lazy. Based on when i did online dating many seem to begin tanking mid to late 20s.
The balding thing is pretty bad too. Moids should care more about correcting balding
No. 422233
>>422223Same. I would like to experience a romantic relationship at least once in my life but it’s no drama if it doesn’t happen.
>>422232I just want good company and physical intimacy. Not looking to build a life together.
No. 422239
>>422213There's few childfree men out there so that makes the pool pretty small already. I'm childfree myself so I know how hard that part can be. The not wanting to get married or live together parts are gonna make it even harder, I think. I agree with
>>422232 that sounds more like a fwb. If you are open to having an open relationship/poly stuff, I think you're more likely to find men there to fit what you want. But it's unlikely a guy will monogamously commit to you when you don't want to get married/live together ever.
No. 422648
>>421949>If you settle for a guy who's not exactly what you want, you might end up regretting it. But if you wait longer and longer to find the perfect match, your risk of having an autist/tard baby goes up exponentially which could make you regret that you waited.This is exactly what I'm so scared of. If I date now I might be able to still get a semi-decent not-insanely-ugly guy in his 20s. But I actually don't want to be in a relationship yet, there's so much I still want to do on my own and not trying to do achieve that likely would give me a ton of regret once I'm old.
But if I wait (and possibly end up failing at what I'm trying to do) and then come back to my hometown wanting to settle down but nobody is left except the already divorced moids, literal ogres, total assholes and borderline retards, then what? I will be truly no longer young and might have nothing in life.
For moids everything is just so much easier. I vented about the exact same thing already before but most successful or famous moids were in a relationship or even already married before they hit it big, they can always have both, love/family and a big career. Many of them might have not even succeeded without their female partners physical and emotional support. But as a woman I know that even the kindest guy would only be a hindrance to my plans.
No. 422651
I know that this is frowned upon by most anons but I'm generally also really scared of the future, of becoming older. When you're a teen, 20 is a super mature adult, later it switches to 25 but 30 is mostly really seen as the border of being young to being a proper adult who should be stable in life. And I simply don't want to not be young.
Even tho I'm pushing 30 I still rely on others a lot and most "adult adults" still treat me and refer to me as a girl (in my country we have a polite and impolite way of speech usually used for children. I often still get the latter and it feels just so much warmer and friendlier) but I know that this will stop sooner rather than later and I'm scared of that. I have a well paying job and I'm shy/calm and dress very plain, so it's not like I walk around like a wannabe teen but nevertheless I feel like there's still a huge gap between me and people in their 30s, 40s and up, and I don't feel like I will ever be able to transition into this.
I don't want to be the one who others rely on, somebody who takes care of others (that's also why I can't imagine having kids) and I again think that I wouldn't have this problem if I was a moid. "Boys" will always be allowed to be boys and live freely without responsibilities while women can only jokingly refer to their friends as "girls" and anything slightly too silly, youthful and fun they get caught with, will immediately be frowned upon both by older and younger people, sadly also often younger women. You have lots of youtube videos with tons of likes of grownass moids doing kid things like playing in the snow and absolutely everybody will find it uwu endearing but women, not young girls, doing that? Absolutely impossible, it simply doesn't happen or exist.
I know that I will also mourn the general low effort lifestyle that you can only have under a certain age. To only have a tiny apartment and cheap stuff, to get away with not cleaning and cooking much because not knowing/wanting to do that is kind of expected of young people, to be the newcomer who gets help at work, to be able to just wake up, throw on some tshirt, put your hair in a messy ponytail, no skin care or makeup and still look somewhat cute, not having to worry about your parents because they're strong and healthy, not even thinking about retirement or worse last wills because everything is still so far away…the list is endless
No. 422657
>>422651>I don't want to be the one who others rely on, somebody who takes care of othersSo don't. I sure as hell don't. Everyone around me knows that they have to pamper me, and I do mean pamper. It's not that I couldn't take care of myself, but I like being catered to or being alone.
>to be able to just wake up, throw on some tshirt, put your hair in a messy ponytail, no skin care or makeup and still look somewhat cuteYou can absolutely still be that as an grown adult.
>not having to worry about your parents because they're strong and healthyThis is fascinating to me because this really depends on one's parents. It becomes quite clear in their 60s if you have the unhealthy parents who are now suffering for it or if you have healthy parents. Encourage your parents to stay at a healthy weight and eat well, as well as exercise a few times a week. Older folks need cardio AND strength training to maintain their health. I'm lucky that both of my parents are healthy so it will not be for some time until I have to take care of them. If your parents are unhealthy, you have to be willing to say "no". If you have siblings, try to have them take care of your parents. If that's not possible, only take care of your parents a few days a week. Limit your time as a caretaker. It's hard for me to give advice on this point because I don't know your situation.
>not even thinking about retirement or worse last wills because everything is still so far awayI'd recommend you set up a will now so you don't have to worry about it later. You can change the will in a few decades. It's weird, I group in all my "adult" shit all at once so I don't need to worry about it at any other time. I review that stuff every x amount of years.
Aging isn't something to fear. If you really care about looks, there's plastic surgery and filters (if you really don't want to face reality). I know that's looked down upon here, and for good reason. I don't think it helps society's pressures and I worry about how it affects younger women and girls. But you have one life and if looking a certain way is very important to you, go do that shit. I still get treated like a baby. I'm called "la nina" or "la muneca" in my nigel's household and it's because I act girlish.
No. 423115
>>422651Unironically we live in the best times to live exactly how you want. Don't give a fuck and ignore what society has taught you about how you should be. Just do what you want. There is literally no reason to care. You will never be this same person and this age again. Why restrict yourself to some societal norms when there are plenty of women doing whatever they want, dressing how they want etc. There are certain things you need to get covered like money etc. but the rest is really up to you and you have the full right to live your life the way you want. Low maintenance, you can wear any clothes you feel good in, no one is going to care and if someone is judging you that is literally them wasting their energy on that and imposing limits on their own expression.
Just remember to take care of your body! Exercise, do weight lifting, yoga, eat well, take supplements. You will look and feel better than half of the population younger than you who are too lazy to do it.
No. 423231
>>421264nona I get it but I lived the hypothetical in regards to dating and it was not good either. Truth of the matter is there are very very few moids worth the effort. Dating is a losing game most of the time
I used to not be shy about my power level and attracted the most schlubby, unkempt nerd guys. They thought they deserved a 10/10 gamer gf just for existing. And when I found one I thought was above the others, he was perfect until we moved in together and he wanted me to be a mother figure who also fucked him. I don't miss being pestered by a man for BJs/handjobs/sex 2-3 times a day. He also got complacent and didn't want to travel or do anything but laze around and play vidya. I turned down an opportunity to teach in Japan to stay with him and I regret it to this day. I dated him for half of my 20's and this behavior didn't appear until years later.
I tried dating after but it was dismal, like you said, many are divorced (and bitter about it), have kids and looking for a stepmom, don't have kids and looking for an incubator, broke and looking for a sugarmama.
I still dream of unrealistic careers and wanting to do tons of things. I finally decided to laser focus on succeeding at one thing and ignore things that make me feel bad as much as I can
No. 424296
So I started this thread and the day is coming for me.
When I made this thread I was living in hell, completely horrified clinging to anything that’d soothe me and prevent my own suicide. I’ve been dreading this month since I was 19/20. I feel like every part of my toxic psyche that’s still intact from my early 20s is screaming at me to end it all. She’s terrified. I am too. We’re both psychotic.
(I have a severe aging phobia/body dysmorphia too)
I’m really tired and having a hard time formulating sentences right now but I wanted to swing by this thread since I saw it pop up again and say -
I did some shrooms about it and have been focusing on my mental health, in addition to what it means to be kind and powerful in a dark and cruel world. And I’ve been doing okay the last few months. I was fully prepared to kilo myself, and at the very least ready for the mental breakdown around the corner. Then I realized how silly this all is. All of it, life in general is hilarious. It’s sorta… more interesting to stay alive? I have free will and I can do whatever I want, including die if I really feel that’s necessary. But life is so absurd and aging is so absurd and bizarre I’m just… not upset right now.
I don’t look different, nothing has changed besides some skin issues due to internal health (think rashes/sensitivity). I haven’t AGED, my body is in most ways exactly the same as when I was 21. I’m better at makeup, hair, styling, I’m in better shape. I have more money, my life is stable, I’m more confident and men are still drawn to me (even more so now that I’m confident). I’m not sure why I was panicking but I think maybe it was the number itself that scared me.
More updates soon as the tragedy continues to unfold
No. 424298
>>424296Also wanted to throw in I’ve discovered more hobbies and started going out and making friends. After spending most of my 20s isolated experiencing extreme mental health episodes. I’m still engaged too and shockingly he’s never wavered, looked at a younger woman, betrayed me in any way or ever made me feel like I’m less for aging.
I’m going to Europe for my birthday and my family has my back 100%. They’re ready for the fall on my “big day”. I’m getting excited about becoming a feral witch when I’m really old one day. I’m also on a constant quest for knowledge lol, like I’m actually really excited to learn more about things that interest me and might even go back to school for fun just to become an “expert” on my favorite subjects. I’m still not planning on having kids, I’m very happy being childfree.
Actually things are so good, and so stable, and so okay that I haven’t felt this nice since I was a kid… and I will probably die soon because that’s how life seems to work sometimes. It’s almost suspicious. I don’t trust it. But for the first time in a decade I feel some sort of peace.
No. 424304
>>424298I AM treating myself to preventative Botox for my birthday. I got Invisalign this week because my teeth shifted during my mid 20s from not wearing a retainer. I’m working out and maintaining my nice figure, and my wardrobe has becoming more daring (I feel so sexy in crop tops now!) I look great and continue to prune and maintain as needed.
On the vanity side of things, which is I guess the least important, I am doing well too. Scared but maintaining my looks despite society telling me I’d be a hag this year. Lol. They lie, too. Why are they trying to scare us? A teen boy hit on me the other night. It was disgusting. So hello past me, the girl who started this thread - it’s not true. You’re going to be just fine. I love you. We did it and we’re still here.
No. 424519
>>424338Damn
nonnie why so
triggered? This is a positive post
No. 424657
>>424589Check if you can buy growkits in your country and grow them yourself. It's ridiculously easy and you get a lot from just one box if you microdose you can even get more than a year's worth from 3 flushes in one box. Takes about 3 weeks ea
>>424634You ate mushrooms. This is the effect. You can still take more and be surprised that it can get better
or go to hell if you overdo it No. 424947
>>424657I’ve overdone it in the past. In college we were eating them in absurd amounts. I stayed away from them for years and years after that. However, re-introducing myself to them in a therapeutic sense has been so healing. I’m very careful with myself now. I’ve been microdosing weekly, with the occasional full dose every other month. I honestly cannot believe how helpful they’ve been. Anxiety? Social insecurity? Self hatred, depression, nihilistic worldview? Gone.
I’ve been doing a lot of work on myself as well, but I’d be lying if I said the shrooms didn’t kickstart the desire to improve myself and to love myself (and others)
No. 424949
>>424681I’ll likely do baby botox in my forehead because I’m genetically predisposed to wrinkles and fine lines in that area. My beautiful mother has always struggled with the forehead area. She caved and got Botox a few years ago. I’m just going to start now before mine inevitably start showing up.
Unrelated but mothers are angels, really. I spoke to my mother recently about the orthodontia I had as a kid, and how we moved my jaw forward and expanded it. She said she paid for that so I wouldn’t have the same side profile as her, since she hated her recessed jaw. And saw how it caused premature sagging in her face. I had NO idea growing up that she paid all of that money to save me from a genetic trait that was shared. We don’t deserve our mothers sometimes. Every year that I’m alive my appreciation for her grows and grows
No. 426414
>>426293I’m not trying to be rude and I do feel for you
nonnie, but this kind of stuff is so confusing. The day I turned 30 I felt no difference in my life and it was just another day. I don’t get feeling this upset by it.
No. 428810
>>428804I'm mid 30s and look and feel good and no amount of retarded memes on the internet and fearmongering from companies or brainwashed zoomers can change this.
> “What to wear as a 30+ woman”Now that you are a fully developed adult that can think for herself, you can do whatever the fuck you want and wear whatever the fuck you want. I still wear miniskirts, knee high/thigh high socks and I'll probably wear them for as long as I can.
> “How to handle skincare at 30+” Like you did before? Don't be fooled that you need all those products, you don't.
> insinuating I have to change into some watered down version of myself to be acceptable as a 30+? Woman, you're being way too fucking paranoid, most people don't even know what a 30 yr old looks like.
Turn off your pc and go out, you're clearly a
victim of internet 30+ propaganda.
No. 428815
>>428804delete your social media
I don't get these, even when I was using social media. no one laughs at 30year olds that go to a party.
No. 428843
>>428838What work do you put in,
nonnie? I’ve even maintained the same 125lbs at 5’6 since I was 19. I literally put in all the work nonstop. And people still tell me I’m attractive. But not as often as when I was younger. Much less often.
No. 428850
>>428843Idk about compliments, it's not something that is done often in the country I live in and I do not care about outside validation.
I work out every day weight lifting and cardio and been doing yoga for over 18 years now. I walk 10+km as often as possible. I take a lot of supplements, do microneedling at home and facial massage every day because I can't really afford any beauty treatments at the moment. I use SPF all the time. I also do a lot of practices that lower cortisol because that is one thing that will make you look like shit in a matter of days and try to stay on top of my diet but it's not great 100% of the time.
And I looked really horrible a few years ago due to life circumstances. I try to have as much fun as I can every day and taught myself how not to react to other people's misery which was always making me feel worse. If you feel happy then it really makes you look more youthful.
No. 428852
>>428817I just found pics of me (high school thru early 20s) in an album at my parents' house and I'm definitely better looking now than I ever was. 35 now. It's pretty undebatable when you see the pics. Until my late 20s, I hardly brushed my hair so it looked like a hippie rat nest, wore unflattering clothes, horrid glasses, and had terrible acne. After 30 the acne just went away on its own. I also stopped drinking all the time. I used to drink … a lot.
I have visible wrinkles at the corners of my eyes, but no nasolabial folds (yet, kek). I look younger now than in a pic I have of me at 28, at the height of my drinking. It was just a matter of starting to take care of myself better, and it wasn't even that extreme. Less alcohol, a lot more water, actually exercising, and maintaining a good hairstyle. Also, I am incredibly neurotic about sleep and must get at least 8 hrs per night, and I've learned to live my life around that sleep schedule pretty religiously. Used to sleep 4 - 5.
No. 428872
>>428850This is so true. When I’m happy I’m beautiful. I’m just so depressed these days. I don’t know how to handle it. Funnily I was really happy and having the time of my life six months ago. That’s bipolar disorder for yah.
How do you lower your cortisol? I should probably look into that.
No. 432327
I don't care about dating or having children so I'm not very worried about aging. I actually can't wait to turn 30. I think I'll throw a big party.
But I also feel a bit conflicted, I'm not sure if I still have some anxieties about aging deep down, or if I'm just overthinking it. Yeah, I think deep down I feel kinda sad that I'm getting older and that my face isn't as youthful as it used to be, but at the same time, I'm excited, because I like being seen as mature and hate being complimented for my "youthful looks" (it's usually scrotes who tell me I look young, ew). I'm pretty sure it's not cope because I don't hate older facial features like laugh lines or eye bags, I've always appreciated them. Maybe these mixed feelings are normal, being sad at one's loss of youth but happy at being older and more "powerful" (so to speak) is normal, and it's not inherently tied to gender roles.
Also, getting older means people will attribute more authority to me and take what I have to say more seriously, which is great.
No. 432534
>>432327I'm in my early 30s and I think I and many of my peers look better now than we did in our twenties, I don't feel 'old' at all and due to health problems that started in my early twenties I didn't get to live through that ideal health 20s and am actually healthier now so I see a lot of these concerns as really individual and basically silly as a whole. I don't get what I'm supposed to feel paranoid about. No one in my age group (women I mean) really has wrinkles or doesn't look 'youthful.' Yes people are likelier to take you seriously as a woman when you're slightly older which is nice, you also aren't surrounded as much by retards making really bad life choices which is likewise nice. You can wear all the same things you did before but you probably have a better sense of style when you've lived a little and had time to develop it, you don't have to do 'different' skincare it's all just corporate propaganda to try to sell you things.
I think the only thing I don't like about being over 30 is how it's a bit harder to make new friends or to get your current friends to do fun activities with you as many of them just have more responsibilities in life, but it's still not that bad. I still make new friends regularly, just not at the rate I used to. There's also the pressure to decide on your career track which can be a bit stifling but again, I know many people who changed careers successfully at later ages so I'm not sweating it too much.
No. 438880
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I'm turning 30 very soon, and this is probably retarded to think about - but how fucked am I in finding a good partner (man or woman) if I break up from my current partner? How bad is the dating market at this age? Am I just better off being alone?
No. 438889
>>438887How do you dress
People's attitude towards you is at least 70% due to the way you dress
If you dress unseriously people will not take you seriously
No. 438894
>>438887>and people mistake me for a student all the time, but it doesn’t boost my confidence. yeah I'm gonna say it: bitch. be happy, if they said you look 40+ would you feel good and confident?
I see this bullshit so much where 30+ women complain waaaaah they told me I look like I'm in my 20s I HATE IIIITTT!
Take your compliments and roll with it because they really ARE compliments.
>I’m legitimately tired of never being taken seriously.If it makes you feel good I know women who look their age and they STILL don't get taken seriously, it's not the looks, it's this whole fucking society that doesn't take women seriously.
No. 438895
>>438894>it's this whole fucking society that doesn't take women seriouslyIt's the way you present yourself.
People make quick judgements based on a glance.
You sound very bitter and aggressive, maybe take a walk in the park
No. 438898
>>438895>It's the way you present yourself.I know this and the women I mentioned know this,but sometimes you're just fighting a losing battle.
>You sound very bitter and aggressive, maybe take a walk in the parkI'm not at all those things, and I've already done my daily stroll through the park. Perhaps you shouldn't jump to conclusions so fast.
No. 445712
>>445709I hate how this thread has been taken over by anons who are not even 30 crying over unimportant shit
>muh wrinkles>muh lost youth>muh attractiveness to moidsGet a hobby or something.
No. 445723
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>>445708>>445709>>445712walk a mile in my shoes before you spew bullshit
(posting own ass on lolcow) No. 445761
>>445728Stop enabling her delusions. Her ass looks perfectly fine.
>>445723You are adorable. Do not fall for the psyop.
No. 445780
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>>445632I'm mid 30s and single with no future man/boyfriend in sight but with very few close friends.
You need some hobbies nonna, preferably with some chill people, are you into sports, hiking or anything creative?
Making friends can indeed be harder as an adult,but not impossible, Don't dismiss all zoomer girls, some of them can make really good friends,I have a few and they're the best thing that's happened to me in the past years, they literally give me life kek.
No. 448323
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Jesus Christ, she talks like she's 70 or something. Hate seeing women do this
No. 448356
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>>448323imagine not taking care of your body for years and then being like why is my body so weak and bones are creaking
I hate people like this
No. 448388
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>>448356I don't think that's even the case, this is what she looks like now. She's just being dramatic for no reason. I can't watch female influencers my own age because they all do the "I'm so old, how am I still alive" thing. God just shut up.
No. 450088
>>448388>>449393To be fair, I'm almost 28 and people constantly tell me I'm old all the time when they find out my age even when I myself don't say I'm old at all. I feel like these women are just being influenced by how much that happens once you're past your early 20s unfortunately. I even get those comments from people who are only like 3 or 4 years younger than me too.
>>449991I've had thoughts like this before though I didn't really cry over it. It's more so of a nagging feeling that I might regret not having kids especially when society peer pressures you so much for it. But then I try to get to the core of
why I get these feelings really and it always comes back to feeling like I'll be alone when I'm old and not matching up to other people's standards, which isn't really a good reason to get a child. I've always felt alone even when surrounded by friends, relationships and my current family too, so it's naive to think a child would somehow fill this void for me when it feels more like a general thing. Having my pets did remind me of how much of a pain in the ass having a baby would be, I got a cat and she was really needy in the first few weeks and that reminded me of how awful it'd be if I got a baby and had to do that for years (and have it grow into a full human too). It just seems like way too much responsibility even if the number 1 thing for me is I really don't want to get pregnant or give birth. I like cute things so I feel like it's just an extension of that in the end and they wouldn't be cute babies forever anyway.
No. 455953
Just turned 31, I have a decent paying job and with good work-life balance, I work out and I am learning to play piano again. I am not in a relationship and not interested in starting a family either but the problem I have that all my friends that have not had babies and started families (around my age or older) act so immature. Close friend decided to become mistress for some ugly moid because "it's meant to be" and going through relationship drama for months now, acts like she is in high school. Other friend completely became a shut in (used travel with her, go on ski trips, helped me with learning a foreign language) just plays league of legends all day because her boyfriend does so. Not even going to explain how retarded men who I thought were my friends became. The one last friend who close to me, held her own business etc got scared of turning 30, got quickly in a relationship with moid and three months later got pregnant. Now going through perpetual relationship and family drama plus stress of raising a child.
I don't know but I am starting to feel lonely despite having friends, I feel like I am an eternal free therapist to these people. I wish I could meet women who are more chill, mature, have hobbies and enjoy travelling without anxiety of finding a moid and starting a family but it feels inpossible since I do not live in not a big city.
No. 460789
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>>460577Nona you're dealing with so much, I wish I could prep a week's worth of freezer meals for you. Keep going, you can and WILL outlast the circumstances as you keep building up your life brick by brick. I hope you keep in mind how far you've already come (realizing your family are abuser enablers! getting your own place! distancing yourself from them! nursing school!) and let yourself feel pride in those accomplishments. Please tell yourself 'I love you' and forgive yourself for the things that you feel shame and pain over. xoxo
nonny, things will get better because you have the power to make them so!
No. 460793
File: 1735369454643.gif (98.63 KB, 220x160, 1000030783.gif)
>>460577You've still got so much ahead of you nonna, please remember that you will come out stronger and better than ever on the other side
No. 460813
>>332968I'm 36 and life got better after 30.
Moved out to the country and live super comfy. I didn't realize things could be so low stress. Especially considering how fucked up I was growing up.
Sometimes it can get boring, but truth be told, life was also boring during my school years. I'd wake up, go to school, go home, fuck around. Sometimes go to parties, date, etc.
Now life is more about learning about life as well as figuring out spiritual enlightenment.
Its a challenge, some people are further along than before me but I like to think I'm also further along than some people my age or even older.
Idk. It's comfy.
No. 471892
Anyone else sad about their college friendships drifting away as we all enter our 30s? I barely hear from my college friends anymore and at most i only meet up once a year with them. Makes me sad to know they’re hanging out frequently with each other and I’m drifting away, even though I do make the effort to text them and barely get any texts back. I know they’re busy, but still, id like to remain somewhat connected. Happy Holiday texts aren’t enough for me to sustain a friendship. Am I clingy as a friend? Did they forget about me or has their opinion of me changed and they don’t want to hang out anymore? I suppose they got new friends with their new jobs and what not. And I guess the only reason we formed friendships was due to proximity and shared experience of sharing the same classes. with that out of the equation, are we even compatible?
Appearance-wise, I’ve never gave a shit about how I looked and have always been a frumpy Neet looking caricature, hoodies, sweat pants, ponytails, just ultimate comfort clothes, no worries about my hair, skincare and makeup. I am picking up a skincare routine now that I’m late 20s, but I am usually a little lazy about it and end up doing the bare minimum of washing and moisturizing.
Unfortunately health wise I have bad cardiovascular health and have to obsessively do cardio to reduce my risk of heart disease. Sucks running an hour everyday for the rest of your life and watching what you eat but hey, the health benefits make it worthwhile.
I feel like I’m getting more neck and shoulder pain and lots of headaches compared to when I was in my early-mid 20s, and I suspect they’ll only worsen with time. I guess I should put more stretches in my exercise routine.
The only regret I have in my 20s is not discovering my sense of style. I have always dressed to appear invisible. I love frilly lacy girlish fashion with ribbons and cute motifs, unfortunately I will look odd with that at my age. And I like short knife pleated skirts, they flatter my figure and make my legs look longer. Circle skirts and thigh highs look cute too and they were popular when I was teenager in the 2010s, but I feel like they are out of style now and I’m too late to appreciate and wear that fashion.
I wish I had the knowledge to know what flatters my appearance, now I will have to waste money and discover gradually what looks good on me at an older age.
>>461346Yup I get them like clockwork on the week before leading up to my period or the period week itself. Shit is nasty, I can still feel the pain even though I’m taking the strongest Advil’s. You should talk to your doctor and get heavier migraine medication.
No. 472216
>>332968I wonder if this
nonny was adultified growing up.
The people I know who were sheltered as teens definitely have more zest for life/adulthood, especially now, than the people I know who were able to do whatever since young. I can definitely see how hanging out and having fun, learning new hobbies, becomes "boring" at 30 if you were already doing all of that stuff at 15. Nobody wants to be doing the same shit at 30 they were doing at 15.
No. 472220
>>472122>Consider yourself lucky that you're doing it when you're older and less susceptible to changing your personality three times a year the way teenagers doI'm sorry, but no. It is so much easier to explore fashion when you can be excused as young, dumb, and figuring things out. If
nonny doesn't know what works, she needs to try. Which means committing to a bad outfit now and again, because it's a learning process. But that might have social consequences at our age. She not only needs to learn what works for her, fashion wise, but now also needs to consider the OTP at our age (occasion, time, place) because as grown adults thah is the expectation
No. 472371
>>472362sure, it's stupid, but it's there. some people have judgy families they don't want to cut off or give fuel for embarrassment.
OP might actually be retarded enough, there are a lot of spergs on here. you never know.
the simple truth is, it's easier to experiment early on. OP is in no way luckier, and actually has to do more work now (as you've admitted, to not come off completely retarded). a young person does have more room to fuck up and wear a sexy coquette outfit to a funeral or whatever.
No. 473173
>>472216ntayrt but this is interesting to think about. I had helicopter parents and I wasn’t allowed to do whatever I wanted, and my childhood/teen/young adult years were so busy and action-packed with stuff that I rarely had a moment to rest. Even during most summer “breaks” my parents enrolled me in summer classes, performing arts and extracurriculars, and I’ve experienced more things in my life up to my 30s than many people do in a lifetime.
Now that I’m here in my late 30s, it’s like…okay, what now? It’s like my brain is burnt out or something and nothing feels fun or interesting anymore.
My Nigel grew up with a much slower pace and he was a latchkey kid. He still thinks the most random and mundane things are like an adventure. He’ll get excited about a new restaurant opening, or a new video game, or we’ll go to the most low-key hangout, and afterwards he’ll say “Oh that was SO much fun” and I’m like “but didn’t even do anything”? kek. I wish I could see the world through that lens again.
No. 473249
>>473204Same. I was basically hypersexual through my teens and 20s and I remember hearing that some women have another sexual phase in their 30s where their libido kicks up again, but my experience has been the opposite. I used to wonder if I simply burned through my lifetime’s libido in a short period of time instead kek.
I feel like I would have been more successful and productive in life if I wasn’t constantly distracted by my horniness when I was younger, it’s like I don’t know what to do with myself now!
No. 473314
I'm a few months from 30 and I feel suicidal because I'm a failure. I'm still a kissless virgin with absolutely no friends and only distant family because all my close relatives are either dead or simply absent. I had huge dreams when I was a kid, I wanted to be an actor, couldn't pass the exams for acting school because my anxiety and autism kicked in and I had a meltdown in front on a big group of people, and the thought of this degradation still haunts me and makes me suicidal years after. I didn't go to college, I just started a physical job I do to this day and I hate it, because it ruins my health and my coworkers are toxic, and I'm too afraid to change it because I can't do anything else. After work I'm too tired to do anything besides sleeping. People used to tell me I had potential for this and that, they wanted me to go this school, blah blah. An art professor also offered me a job as an art tutor, but I couldn't take it because I wasn't social enough to teach others… And I squandered it all. My current job sucks the life out of me, I can't even draw anymore, and that used to be the only thing that made me happy. I just consume movies and I think to myself "that should've been me, if I weren't so fucked up I could actually have the chance to be there, to make movies, or at least create art, to make something out of myself". Meanwhile I have no artistic achievements, I'm not even a normie with normal life, I'm a total failure struggling with basic tasks. People are more forgiving towards weirdos if they're young. As I age, I will have less and less chances for a normal life or even a normal job. It's harder to make friends too, I don't even dare to think about a relationship because all decent guys my age are already taken. But I'm not even decent myself anyway. And I don't go anywhere to meet people. I would feel too stupid and pathetic to even talk to people who graduated from college, I just feel so dumb. When I was 18 I was sure I will die or just kill myself before I'm 30, and yet I'm still here, just as lost as I was at 25, 20, 15..
No. 475388
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honestly i think i'm fucking done over with makeup. the good kind is expensive, the cheap kind is either shit in quality or has questionable ingredients that's probably not good for my health in the long term, black eyeliner seems to be making me look much older instead of cute, mascara clumps and if i rub my eyes by accident it'll flake everywhere, lip products come off as soon as i eat or drink something, finding the absolute perfect foundation sounds like a nightmare and money drain, nail polish chips even when being extra careful and weekly updates stresses me out, blush is a hilarious concept and i have no energy to do it and make sure it looks good.. i honestly can't do it anymore. i don't even know why i try. i guess just hearing the social messaging that i'm a hag in my 30s and need to be extra mindful of my face makes me want to keep trying, but i just can't be fucked anymore. i'm tired. no hate to nonnas who love makeup and such, but i am ready to just retire from it all. yeah i'm sure i just suck at applying and that might be true, but it's just so much energy and requiring fucks that i can't give anymore.
No. 479703
>31 y/o
I've had boyfriends. I don't care for one now. I've had sex. I don't care for that now. I've done college. I'm in debt. I have a cat and a roommate with cats. There seems to be no reason to hope for an upward trajectory in work at this time, so I'm hoping I can coast for an entire presidency and then get a raise, a promotion, or a better paying job with the same benefits.
>appearance
I'm a greasy Italian-American. I have mild wrinkles around my eyes from smoking cigarettes in my 20s. I have a belly from my desk job although I'm not overweight. I drink almost nightly with some periods of in between and I vape constantly. I take a lot of stimulant pills when I get them. I play video games. I was recently hit on by a former ex and he told me he had three kids and a "girlfriend" he somehow accidentally had three children with so I ghosted him after some conversation. I paused dating on facebook, tinder, christian mingle, bumble, hinge, and craigslist. I have 2 dollars in my bank account and 2 dollars in my pocket and 10K in credit card debt and I think I have enough for a few bottles of liquor. I am praying every day that Tucker Carlson shows up in my town so I can throw a milkshake at him. This is my 30s.
>my periods fucking suck
My periods suck. They hurt so fucking much the first two days. Like crippling, stabbing taint pain that won't go away, serious heat in my gut, the feeling of poop that won't come out. Sometimes I feel like I have to vomit. One day, I will find a man to pretend to be my husband so I can "get permission" from him to get my tubes cauterized, my uterus scooped out like a wad of ice cream, and then I'll kill him and drink his blood.
No. 480404
>>480192scared? to live your life? which particular day do you think will be the most frightening and for what reason? it's not scary to continue existence. the alternative is death.
also, it seems to me that the older I get the less I give a fuck about how old I am.
No. 480556
>>480543ntayrt, but I have indeed been in a constant state of panic about aging since my mid-teens and I am almost 30 now. It's pretty much only gotten worse with time and it's a huge reason for why I feel stressed out and upset on a daily basis. When I saw this thread a while ago, I actually thought it would help me and make me feel more connected to other women going through the same thing. It's kinda just made me feel a bit lonelier about it in a way kek. I think the best advice you can give someone is to try to pride yourself in things other than your physical beauty, since in life, at least as it stands for women right now, youth = beauty and beauty = youth. Be good at other stuff and gain life experience. Society is unfair to women when it comes to aging, so you just have to deal with it in the same way you have dealt with everything else that has been unfair to you in your life. Also, 30 is an arbitrary number, I don't think 30yos look particularly old, but the fear has a lot more to do with the physical symptoms of aging and not the number 30, if you get what I mean, so you will be fine at 30.
No. 480586
>>480569You shouldn’t care about scrote opinions since they’ll find something to put you down for anyway, whether you’re 19 or 30. If anything it’s insecure women you should worry about because they’ll use the “at your big age?” card so fast if they dislike you, even though most of them do so precisely because they find you threatening and wouldn’t bother doing it to someone who’s
really older than them like a random aunt, they’d call her a baddie instead. But that’s really the same thing, people using your age to bully you not because it truly bothers them but for other reasons. Even if you were 25 they’d say you’re pushing 30 so how could you do X at your big age. In other words, fan behavior.
It’s infinitely more pathetic to cry into your birthday cake every year and put yourself down because children might bully you than to just live your life. It’s not like they’re paying your bills. Did you care at 23 if a 13 year old thought you were old? I know I sure didn’t.
No. 480588
>>480574Nah, my mom still watches cartoons and doodles Tom and Jerry in her notebook and she’s still every bit the boomer she is. And from living in a small town I can tell you that plenty of people have kids because they want a win in life and it makes them feel like they accomplished something, then when threatened they will lord that over you even if they’re not particularly good parents because it’s all they’ve got. Hobbies they’ve got no time for because of kids and general disinterest in anything that isn’t easily consumable.
Careers take time to build and if you haven’t gone to college or had luck getting hired it’ll be really hard to be on the same level as your peers, but lots of people go into fields they don’t care about for the money and later fear leaving because they have families to support. Then in their 40s many go back to school to switch careers.
No. 484436
File: 1739446718077.jpg (267.12 KB, 960x1440, 1000057319.jpg)
I actually love being 30. I'm still young and I have higher self-esteem. I'm also not as retarded.
Just take good care of yourself. And don't believe the lies. It is a gift to grow older.
No. 484452
>>484447Wear sunscreen, cut back on the alcohol, eat clean, exercise everyday or at least every second day.
Pay attention to your intuition. If you’re getting an “off” feeling about someone, no matter how much you can’t name it, it’s for a reason. I’m not saying be an asshole to that person, but keep them at a distance and look after yourself.
No. 484517
>>484447If you haven’t yet: start saving. I hadn’t at that age and felt like because my income was so poor there was no point even trying to put a little aside. Incredibly untrue. Thankfully I started saving
big at 30 to make up for lost time, but I would have preferred to start more consistently at a younger age.
No. 493823
>>493813I agree with not dating shit self-centered scrotoids, but being married by your late 20s puts a lot of pressure because she is going to encounter a lot of shitty scrotoids through her youth. She is part of the generation that has men growing up with Andrew Tate and redpill podcasters.
Instead my advice is to truly learn to love and be secure with the real you. Work on your skills and work on securing yourself financially. Find few good friends that truly have your back. Don't fall for the FOMO.
Marriage isn't end of all, and it does not matter if you meet "the nigel" or not , many women lock themselves up in these marriages only to come out of them drained and having to start building their lives from 0 again because a moid wrecked it.
No. 494755
>>494296Of course
I feel like society wants to bully me into entering a relationship withba scrote. But I'd rather struggle than do that. But yeah it's hard
No. 495244
>>484447Pursue your passions. My parents meant well but I had studied something for 5 years I wasn't interested in at all because it seemed to be more lucrative at that time and a more sensible option than what I really wanted to.
Making choices and potentially regretting them is part of life but it's so much harder regretting choices because you were listening to someone else instead of your own heart. It's never too late but ideally you find the field you like as early as possible so you could master it sooner. That and becoming good at budgeting. Money means freedom and you're going to need it. Having decent savings means not being tied to a workplace you don't like and not depending on someone else and having to make compromises in order to survive.
No. 495649
>>494770You were single and now you are in a relationship
Both options suck, that's the problem
No. 495770
>>484447Doing just a little self improvement in an area adds up way faster than you'd expect. If you wanna do something new like learning a foreign language, its easy to throw yourself into it 100% spend all this time doing it, then get nowhere and get discouraged and quit. Instead you should do an hour a day, expect nothing, and treat it like a bank account that grows interest. If it becomes a habit it feels like brushing your teeth, where you almost forget about it, but over the course of a couple years you'll occasionally have moments where you'll realize how far you've come and it's fulfilling. This goes for any skill you want to work on, drawing, an instrument, programming. Almost everything worth doing is a marathon not a race. Just get something like this, in a couple years you'll be a more capable, interesting person, and it's really good for your brain.
>>484452Also this. I used to get weird feelings about people then give them the benefit of the doubt cause "I'm being mean… they've done nothing wrong". Just listen to your intuition, its not wrong and it's there for a reason.
>>493813I know this is Unpopular but it's not totally wrong… I've not dated after 30 but I have heard from other people it does get really bad, from both men and women. A lot of the emotionally stable good options get snatched up quicker. Ive known a girl who married at 32 and has a good husband though, so its not impossible just tougher. But also if a dude seems bad initially and throws a red flag don't waste time on it. Throw it back and try again. When I was in my early 20s I kept getting with guys, ignoring the red flags because I wanted to make it work. It just screws you over and you'll find yourself unhappy. during mid-20s I got tired of it and started rapid dating and throwing them back at first sign of something I didn't like, main goal was finding someone who was compatable. that worked a lot better. A lot of guys i dated i thought i could maybe sort of see a future..? Then once I met my husband, after a month I knew it was 100%, engaged at 6 months. I've been married 5 years now and had a kid, very pleased. The best dating advice is just knowing when it give up because it's usually a lot sooner than you'd think.
>>495244Also this. I got a college degree in something because I wanted something lucrative. It didn't matter anyway and now looking back i wish I'd done creative writing…
No. 495888
>>495802Idk look in the mirror and ask yourself that
There's a lot of normal reasons someone might be over 30 and dating, they spent the time backpacking or working, but there's also a lot of negative reasons. They could be emotionally turbulent and their relationships have aot of conflict, they're undesirable for one reason or another, they dont want to get married. If someone has a lot of good traits, isn't prone to conflict, and wants to commit, they're going to do it at some point then they're off the dating market. the older the person is the more likely it's already happened. The crowd just thins. Doesn't mean you're undesirable, there's still plenty of desirable 30+ people, but I've heard it does get harder.
No. 498227
File: 1741469852989.png (20.79 KB, 800x451, Image-1.png)
A lot of people are going to try to scare you by telling you how bad dating sucks in your 30s and beyond. It’s true that men are more picked over, but if you’ve done an appropriate amount of self reflection and growing, you’ll be able to be happy single and you will know yourself well enough to date more efficiently (weed out the time wasters fast). I’m 30 after dumping my useless ex about a year ago. Ive spent the past year doing therapy, self reflecting, prioritizing making and maintain my friendships, re-learning to date, learning about myself, taking care of myself mentally and physically, and setting meaningful goals. I honestly don’t think I’m going to meet my dream man in the near future, but I do suspect I’m going to stumble across him eventually and in the mean time I’m so much happier than I’ve ever been at any point in my life.
No. 503145
>>498315I feel you nona, my sister is a successful doctor. Then I remind myself she is living on credit and having the worst luck in men. Who knew most doctors were psychopaths? Kek.
Sage for unnecessary seething blogpost.
No. 511927
File: 1742840467829.png (634.69 KB, 1205x678, tempsnip4.png)
I can't believe that this year it's gonna be my turn already, my 20s passed by so fast, it feels like I graduated high school just yesterday.
Physically I gained a lot of new things, my apartment is beautiful but I struggle a lot with keeping it clean because I'm mentally drained after work. My job pays well but I suck at it and absolutely hate it. On the outside I probably look completely normal, if not well established, but on the inside I'm still the same as over a decade ago. Previously I had insane hang-ups about my height that are basically gone now and I no longer feel suicidal but I still have so many childish habits and wishes. I always daydream and only manage to withstand work-related stress by spending hours online, scrolling on youtube, watching fujo shit, gossiping… I also still have no real interest in getting (my first) bf because I don't want to quit my retarded hobbies or otherwise make compromises. I also eat like a 16yo boy whose parents are out kek
I always thought this wouldn't happen to me since I'm a first worlder but recently my grandpa (who otherwise still treats me like a kid and cooks for me) suddenly scolded me for being single, which hurt a lot. I honestly don't want to find a partner because 1. I feel like he would only stop me from achieving my dreams (which definitely involve going abroad), 2. I have zero interest in marriage and children which is expected for 30yo women and 3. all moids my age are already so ugly. I'm always so exhausted due to work that I basically cut contact with all the few old friends left and I also didn't take up any new hobbies in the new city I moved to, so technically I'm really lonely but I somehow don't feel like it?
Lately I nevertheless feel rather bitter. It's great that my family and workplace still see me as "baby" and that nearly all young women in general understood that life doesn't end at 30 because you're not old at all, my appearance didn't change at all, but I only now realized just how many possibilities stop at 30 due to companies(?) not sharing the same sentiment. I kept thinking about applying at an airline (preferably Emirates) because that would enable me to visit many countries. Now I found out that it's basically unheard of anybody over 28 getting hired… Same for quite a few other careers in my country. I also thought about going to language school in another country but that's also no longer possible after 30. I feel a bit lied to, not everything is possible at any age. I hate that everybody always wants to know your age, why is that so important? I also hate myself for obediently following everything my parents wanted. During university I already knew that this field wasn't for me and yet I still struggled to finish it despite my depression. I even skipped out on the semester abroad that I wanted, just to graduate faster. I always told myself that I could do what I wanted afterwards. Except I started working instead and kept pushing my dreams further away - until it apparently was too late for. I really wish I could turn back time.
Something funny I also recently remembered was the advice an older anon gave me 5 years ago: back then I was very depressed, completely freaking out and she basically told me to take some drugs, that everything won't be as bad in the future and that she had similar dreams as I which didn't become reality but at least she studied japanese and was fluent at 30 and happy about it. Back then I thought I'd hate to be content with that little. Jokes on me, I still haven't studied japanese or another language, I also didn't buy a guitar yet, despite saving up for one when I was 18. I just wasted so many years doing things that I hate. Don't be like me, anons. Writing everything down like this makes my life sounds genuinely terrible but like I said before, it doesn't feel that way (or I just don't care enough).
Did anybody else go on a trip (alone) on their birthday? I genuinely don't want to be around my family pitying me or having coworkers ask me about the non-existent huge party I'll have.
No. 515359
>>472216Personally I don't think there's any correlation, I was adultified as a child/teen and I'm early-mid thirties now and I feel like my life has largely gotten more interesting and exciting with the exception of health issues that somewhat limit how much I can go out and enjoy certain athletic/physical hobbies (but I'm working on treating the illness and that part is getting better too, I was super athletic until my mid-20s when the illness hit). I actually can't imagine feeling like everything is boring and all excitement in life ended in my twenties because not only myself, but my friends/boyfriend/etc. all became more interesting, accomplished and well-rounded in the last few years so I'm finally having truly interesting and honest conversations with my social group that aren't marred by trying to fit in or people conforming to what their profs taught them in college. I didn't even really start my biggest hobbies or career until my mid to late twenties and now they're a huge and exciting part of my life whereas I was a bit too afraid to pursue them when I was younger. I don't think that much 'excitement' in life comes from partying or whatever that first happens when you reach adulthood, and a lot of early adulthood is limited by your lack of skills/knowledge and your lack of ability to support yourself which tends to be better in your thirties for most people.
Even though I was adultified and parentified as a child/teen, it's not like the 'adult' things I'm doing now are the same ones I was pressured to do by my parents growing up. In fact finally I have some measure of freedom from my parents' expectations since they're not supporting me anymore and therefore can't have much control over my life. There's really only a couple things that get less 'exciting' after your twenties and that's your physical prowess (for sports especially) and the ability to meet a high volume of new people all the time, but I think curating a smaller group of more interesting people in your life is actually more exciting and enriching than constantly meeting hordes of people who are similarly stupid and immature and college-brained when you're like 21. It's such a big relief that I don't have to play those social games anymore of pretending I totally love troons or worshipping some dumb prof or whatever anymore and can actually openly have my own beliefs and opinions in social situations. Suffering with chronic illness is the one seriously bad and limiting thing in my life so I don't get why any healthy 30-something would be losing excitement about life.
>>473173Honestly it just sounds like you're experiencing burnout like you said. You just sound tired. But with a background of so many hobbies, skills, and extracurriculars, you should actually be well set up to have an idea of what is fulfilling for you or what your passions are in the future even if you need to relax and take a slower pace to enjoy them now.
No. 515883
>>515336Yes, I was a doormat who was being bullied at home and school and every day was a public humiliation ritual, but I didn’t really have a choice. I’ve developed into a surprisingly mature and level-headed person who can stand on her own, and I’ve been independent from my parents since I turned 18. I still have some old quirks but that’s normal since we’re still the same little kids we were, just with more life experience padding it out. Your baseline personality traits won’t change a great deal.
What made me shape up was a combination of therapy and learning to not be ashamed of being a selfish, raging cunt who is mean when needed and looks out for her own interests first. Can recommend to all ladies.
No. 516002
>>515996If it makes you feel any better I spent most of middle school and early high school mainly hanging out with all-girl friend groups and every single one of those girls either turned on me and brutally bullied me or just completely ghosted when we weren't in all the same classes anymore, I don't think the dream of the female friend group in high school is realistic either in most cases.
I had a handful of female friends that I got gradually close with later in high school who I'm still friends with/in touch with today, but they were individual friendships I had, none of them were part of a 'group of friends' with me. I was in one group that was me, my bf at the time, my two girl friends and a (probably gay) boy and we still get together to this day, but not one of my all-female friend groups from that part of my life has survived.
Speaking of which I think one of the nice things about being in your thirties is that most people don't do the whole 'friend group' thing as much anymore and are more likely to just hang out one on one with specific people they like rather than trying to force the sisterhood of the traveling pants dynamic that everyone was trying to force in HS/college.
No. 516086
>>516040Nonna you have a similar experience as me. Same age too -17-23 -mostly male friends and then they fell off so quickly when I stopped investing energy i to trying to hold the "friend group" together. I did not date any of them but was naive in a way that I thought they saw me as a friend and not just a "potential lay". It became obvious when they suddenly decided to become "family men", impregnated and married women they only have just met. 8 years later (I am 31 now) I hear they usually spend their time playing video games and DnD together while their wives have to take care of the kids (and wives aren't really into nerdy hobbies either). Feel bad for those women but it is what it is.
When other people try to shame me for not being settled down yet, I just remember how "settling down" looks like for a huge number of women. I know maybe one somewhat normal couple with kids that actually functions.
No. 518322
>>518136Mind if I ask what happened?
Last thing you want to do is rush because that's how you get stuck with bozo men, and at this age there's a lot of them…
No. 518347
>>518258Ty.. it just feels really hopeless right now.
>>518322Got cold feet all of a sudden when we were about to take a big step. After years of being on the same page he's unsure about kids, and scared of commitment because he's afraid of disappointing me, and wasting my time. So he'd rather give up.
No. 519547
>>519036>>519030when manosphere peaked scrotes would make memes about women being empty cartons at 35, dried up, expired, etc. Yea, that's not how it works. Until you hit menopause in your 40s, your chances of getting pregnancy are still high. I bet for childfree women they wish their reproduction system shut down at 35 so they dont have to care about BC anymore but yea thats the not the reality.
And i'll see comments in reddit and etc of people spreading misinfo that at 35 a woman's chances significantly decreases every year which isn't true too. The difference between a healthy 27 year old vs a healthy 37 year old is 4%ish (87% v 82% chance in the first year,
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/14704244). But then they'll bring up disabilities, and I forgot where the study was but when they say the risks doubles, it's like .01% to .02% or something like that. It's all like fearmongering to pressure and spook women. But if you're overweight, health issues, pcos, family illnesses, THEN you're kinda fucked.
>>518136 so dont worry about it, you have plenty of time. Take your time to find the right person otherwise you'll regret being connected to a loser for like 18-20 years.
No. 519563
>>518871>>518980>>519547I appreciate the supportive replies. I feel so alone right now and none of my friends check on me. Maybe it's because I don't show my emotions so freely, but I'm dying inside lol.
People are so incredibly negative about the 30's dating pool that it makes me feel blackpilled. Plus I just can't believe I've been rug pulled by someone I trusted. This just makes me feel so scared of getting close to anyone. And I don't think I could financially swing being a single mom by choice.
There will be no oopsie baby with a rando, I want to do it right or not at all. I'll try again some day to find someone, but in the mean time, I just have to fill my life up with things that give it meaning regardless if this all works out or not.
No. 519708
File: 1743655216512.jpeg (53.81 KB, 600x817, IMG_1303.jpeg)
>Finally got /fit/ and lost a lot of weight since Ive struggled with my weight and looks since jr high
>Wear cute clothes that my younger self always wanted to wear
>less insecure overall
>happier in general
>Broke up with my awful ex bf and am now in a long term relationship with a younger man who treats me well
>Got to experience peak internet
I genuinely am ok with turning 30 soon tbh The only insecurity that I have with my age is that I’m still struggling to finish school and don’t have a “big girl” job yet. That’s the one thing I hate about getting older is the expectation for you to have achieved certain things by a certain age. I think the attitude is slowly changing though especially with how the economy is going. I’m just happy I’m not homeless. Overall, I know my younger self would be so happy and proud of current me and that’s keeping me going. she’d also be happy I didn’t end up killing myself but improving my self
No. 520111
File: 1743712602052.jpeg (85.29 KB, 640x480, IMG_7914.jpeg)
>>332611I just turned 28 and I think it's crazy I'm so close to 30 while still feeling like a loser teenager. I'm on my 3rd attempt in uni, still stuck with family, no love life. Never had the money to really live the life I want, and I always tried telling myself to wait until I'm older to party, and live the fun adult life later. Now, it's later and I have nothing to show for it. Without a degree, I'm stuck in minimum wage and I'm trying but I never get anywhere. I pray everyday for a lotto win but I know how likely that is. I feel sick with envy when I see someone my age or younger with the life I want. Some days I wish I wasn't alive. I just needed to vent.
No. 520492
>>519918The OB/GYN i went to when it as pregnant said he had a 21 year old patient with 3 kids, and all had down syndrome. Maybe it's luck but I wondered if there was a much older man involved.
>>519547This is what psy-opped my mom into me, she was 44 and thought she couldn't have kids anymore.
>>519563My sister-in-law got married at 32 to a 27 year old guy. My sister also had her first kid at 33, second at 35, and I had my first kid 2 and a half years after meeting my husband for the first time, so you're not nearly on as tight as time table as you think. It only takes like 2 years max to get married once you meet the right guy, if its taking longer than that something is weird, but i think most people know if its right within 6 months, and mid-late 30s is not an unusual time to have kids at all, some people wait until then anyway because they prefer the freedom in their 20s.
No. 520758
>>520717It doesn't tank after 35,
this is misinformation spread by men/egg freezing industries to spook women
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/14704244The difference between a healthy 27 year old vs a healthy 37 year old is 4%ish (87% v 82% chance in the first year)
"tanking" after 35 is an exaggeration of a slight decrease It's after 40 and closer to menopause when things get harder. Until menopause you can get pregnant at anytime. It all just comes down to luck, right timing of the sperm & egg meeting, health, etc.
>>520492>21 year old patient with 3 kids, and all had down syndromebad luck and bad genes
but you can you test for disabilities during pregnancy
No. 520992
>>520758The genetic testing was the reason he told me, I asked if i should get it and he said I was healthy and chances of something like downs was very low, but then said about the 21 year old patient so it wasn't impossible. I guess the 21 year old patient kept turning down the tests because they were expensive and figured chances were low it would happen 3 times in a row.
>>520933I always think people who talk like this are coping with their decision not to have them… is it really inconceivable someone wants kids, even if you don't?
No. 520996
File: 1743864852705.png (365.15 KB, 1008x1070, Screenshot_20250405-085219.png)
>>520758I'm not sure how you're getting those numbers from this study. Well not really the whole study because it's just the public abstract. It even says in the abstract that difficulty in conceiving for older couples is due to a decline in fertility. I'm not saying it's impossible, I'm just saying it is harder. You're probably going to be trying for at least a year if not longer.
No. 521291
>>52099619~26 year old : 13~14% infertility = so 86~87% chance of getting pregnant within a year of trying
35~39 year old : 18% infertility = 82% chance of getting pregnant within a year of trying
It is a decline, but it's not TANKING like people dramatically throw around. People act like woman turns 35, a magic switch flips where your chances of getting pregnant are 10%
No. 521456
I've liked watching (older) people since I was a kid and it's sadly so rare to see happy and relaxed women.
Recently I also started noticing just how old and drained many women look who are around a decade older than I and have young-ish kids. So many already have grey, unkempt hair, dry skin, deep dark circles,… and I'm absolutely certain that it's because nowadays (at least in my country) it's normal for moms to work fulltime but at the same time moids still don't help with kids or the household at all, meaning those women are losing all their joy and youth due to basically working 3 jobs at once.
Vid related is a woman telling her miserable story and 100s of women are commenting the same.
To me this all sounds like the worst nightmare, those women can't catch a single break for at least 18 years, that's such a huge part of their lifes. And still so many lie to you and claim "it's worth it!" but then you look into their eyes and see just how dead they are. Or people throw phrases like "life isn't always easy!" at you. Why does living have to be hard? Why should I make it more difficult? Why should I suffer just because you did too? I've now lived for nearly 3 decades, autistically observed 100s of people and yet I still haven't found anything positive that a moid or children would realistically add to my life. I do believe that there are a few women on earth who were extremely lucky and found the rare hardworking, caretaking moid but my chances for ending up in a mediocre to downright resentful relationship are a million times higher. Plus the divorce rate is close to 50% now, why should I go through all that stress and hassle? And how naive or arrogant are those people who somehow think that those 50% are not gonna be them lol
No. 531733
>>511927>Now I found out that it's basically unheard of anybody over 28 getting hired… Same for quite a few other careers in my country. I also thought about going to language school in another country but that's also no longer possible after 30. I feel a bit lied to, not everything is possible at any age. I hate that everybody always wants to know your age, why is that so important?I feel you. I just turned 30, I didn't do a solo birthday trip but I do all kinds of things alone with no interest in a traditional life path and I am beginning to feel the faintest sense of pity from those around me. I generally don't think much of it, nothing has materially changed for me since my mid-20s, I work and I live and I look the same, but lately I am increasingly aware of the opportunities being closed off to me. I wish I had known when I was younger how much harder it is to move countries or otherwise follow certain paths after 30, maybe I would have tried harder. It sucks to see my deferred dreams unexpectedly fizzle out. It's surreal because I feel like I still have my whole life ahead of me. I'm still making big life moves but it's harder now. I resent feeling like I had such a short and irresponsible window to make such big decisions about my future. I wish I could live multiple lives at once so I could have pursued all the paths that even mildly interested me in my 20s and see those lives without having had to commit to them.
Anyway, I know this post is already 25 days old, so if you went on your trip already I hope you enjoyed it. If you haven't planned it yet, I think you ought to do it! I think the true benefit of being an adult is how in tune you get with the things you like and dislike. Do a bunch of stuff you like and enjoy it to the fullest. I am cheering you on.
No. 532416
>>520111Felt this, I’m also trying to upgrade at 35 to back to university as well. Still at home. Really thought I’d be married with kids by now . But I got some reproductive health issues
It does feel over. Maybe I shouldn’t been so picky but fuck I lived in a
toxic household like I was in a good space to begin with
You still got a lil more time then me I hope you’re motivated
But all the fun party stuff is all overrated crap to get your money , I’m glad bars and clubs are shutting down
No. 532418
>>520209Dating after 30 is just impossible . Once you hit puberty in your teens you’re like the main character or master of rizz getting all the attention and suddenly it goes off invisible in 15years and feel like that old fat creepy mood janitor
It’s a compete 180. Being young and cute was the ultimate halo effect. I can see why old middle age karens are a thing
I just hope I don’t become one
No. 532434
File: 1745145968056.jpg (75.86 KB, 640x640, 1000014832.jpg)
I wanted to participate but don't really know what to say. 35 going to be 36 in autumn. No husband, no kids, basically a virgin but had a few brief moments with guys in my early to mid 20s. I look a LOT younger than I actually am, so I still get "noticed", but that's also nothing special. Been on Disability since 2018, also when I stopped working. I feel like I should be doing more with my life. My entire teenage years up until late last year were spent looking after my pets and paying out my ass for their vet bills and general care items, as well as supporting my mom. After my pet passed away I'm finally able to save some money and don't really know what to do with myself anymore because she was basically my whole life. Never pursued an education beyond high-school, and now just want to move by the ocean and travel because I'm able to eke out a living on a very small budget, always have been able to do that. It's not that I feel "doomed" or "like a failure", in fact I'm actually pretty happy and content with my life despite having bipolar which is untreated and a few head injuries that affected my cognition, but only a bit. I remember my gross alt-right brother always lecturing me about how if "he had all the free time that I do" he'd be doing so much, meanwhile my days are mostly spent napping or being online or going for long walks. It does make me feel like I should be doing more with my life, too, but I just don't care to at the moment and am just feeling very apathetic, especially with everything going on and still feeling burnout from Covid. Compounded with the fact that I've had a lot of trauma and poverty from the start, including CSA when I was like 10 that was ongoing for a while, I feel like all these things gave me a pretty skewered perception of reality, and yet I'm still, I don't know, content? I live my days completely alone, living with my mom (I also take care of her though) and only see her when I need to make food for her or do other things. Occasionally see my brother, and that's it for human interaction unless I'm out shopping. All my friends have husbands and children, cars (I don't even drive kek), own their own homes, etc. The irony is that the few times I have talked to them online, they all say they're lonely, exhausted, miserable, having marriage trouble, etc. But that was a long time ago and I'm sure things are maybe getting better. Just recently my best friend since I was in elementary school reached out after not speaking for a year only because I closed down all my social medias. We talked briefly, she has two young kids and exhausted from looking after them, when I asked about her husband she didn't comment, though I do remember this really gross comment she made once where he was trying to get her to involve me in a threesome with them (yeah, NOT happening). The 2 friends left that aren't married or in relationships I talk to online but knew since childhood, and they're in similar situations to me, don't want to elaborate, but there's a reason we're pushing 40 and still single and childless. It's not that I'm ugly, far from it, but I am overweight (the few times I dated I wasn't) and I think part of me is just so disappointed and disillusioned with men today. When I was younger I'd joke that "they're all married or gay", now it's "they're all married, gay, or assholes". Aside from that, as much as I miss my pets, I feel like this gigantic weight and burden is off my shoulders. Literally every penny I had went towards them. It's been about 5 months now with zero responsibility to care for anything other than myself (and my mom, when needed) since I was 15 years old, and it still feels very strange to me, and I still mourn them, but now I'm saving up my money and actively now starting a new chapter of my life; yes at 35. I'm looking for a completely new city to move to, I'm going to join a gym and focus on losing weight, I might go back to school, and I have a ton of hobbies that I put aside that I can finally start pursuing again. I feel like my whole life I've been sheltered and restricted, especially by everyone around me, and now I finally feel like I can know what true freedom is. I always likened it to, I don't know, a ship just biding it's time and staying in a harbor. And I've definitely over-stayed my welcome to the point I'm covered in barnacles, rusting, and falling apart. But now I really feel like I'm ready to ~open my sails~ (corny, I know) and instead of being scared I just feel really exhilarated. I guess the only thing I really am scared of is that it doesn't turn out to be as exciting as I hoped for, and that instead it'll just be really hard, lonely, and disappointing, especially because I'll just be on my own (at this point in my life I really just don't want a relationship anymore). But like, really, in my heart I feel like that won't be the case at all. I feel like I'll finally be able to live my life on my own terms. I feel like I'll finally be able to get my own little place, with my own little space, to do whatever I damn well please, and I feel like, maybe, despite all the horror and tragedy going on the world, that I might, for once in my life, know what true peace and happiness is.
No. 532751
>>531733Glad I checked this thread again to see your reply!
>I wish I had known when I was younger how much harder it is to move countries or otherwise follow certain paths after 30, maybe I would have tried harder. It sucks to see my deferred dreams unexpectedly fizzle out. >I resent feeling like I had such a short and irresponsible window to make such big decisions about my future.This is exactly what I'm starting to feel so bitter about now, you just put it into better words. I always thought my time is endless (which is true, we will still live many, many decades) but those fun and interesting things are so limited to very young people only and I now feel like many older people kind of hide that truth from you. I was just always so painfully obedient, spent all my 20s studying and working, never ever did what I truly wanted, always hoped that there would be better days to come and now it's suddenly too late for so much I always wanted?
"Dreams fizzling out" is exactly how I felt very recently, now that I know that I'm basically too old for everything I dreamed about, I feel so numb. Like I should care more, I should try extra hard now, but instead I gave up before I even started, after so many years of daydreaming about it. I fear that I will have so many regrets when I'm an old lady…
>if you went on your trip already I hope you enjoyed it.Maybe I worded that weirdly but there still are a couple of months until my birthday. I'm scared of traveling alone (e.g. how/where will I eat?) but I will definitely do that trip, I have to, there's no way I could stay at home and not have an awful time because of others' expectations.
No. 532804
File: 1745186710598.jpg (258.23 KB, 660x894, 1716883844237.jpg)
I can relate to some of the sense of FOMO that comes with aging, but at the same time it's just too exhausting because it's like I've already experienced the decline decades ago.
I've had health and social issues - I'll just say I was taken out of class every single day my whole childhood to see a specialist even though my GPA was always perfect and I never acted out - for…most of my life now. been years since I last felt alive and I have a terrible confession, I'm not even sure if hearing disappointment or expectations from others about my life affect me anymore.
what hurts the most remembering the times I felt well…how alive I felt. how the sheets and sunshine felt on my skin. the ideas in my head. no horrific pain, unlike how I almost always experience. every single other day I wake up, and my body is its own prison, and the most torturous of all is that I can barely even think because the fatigue and pain has gotten worse with time. it's retarded and boring, but my favorite pasttime used to be just…thinking and chilling in some beautiful spot. loneliness was serene when I was strong, tbh.
I have to admit that I am a bit bitter because apparently my standards are so low for life yet I can't even meet them and seem physically incapable of it. in the meantime there's people that think they're a failure if their life isn't like some Instagram reel, even if they feel well, love and are loved, and have passions in their life. I'll never get it.
No. 533126
>>533038But most people itt don't believe this anyway, it's others who no longer let us do what we want.
Physically I don't feel any difference to 10 years ago but that doesn't matter to the majority out there, on paper I'm (soon) 30 and therefore so many things are socially no longer acceptable or even no longer possible. You can be as happy, carefree and confident as you want, people won't stop bothering you no matter what. And many fun opportunities are only given to people in their 20s, those are the rules by companies, organisations, whatever.
>>533104Anon, you're at least lucky that your parents would be ok with you quitting your job, to mine it means everything.
>There are plenty of work contracts and visas I can't have access to anymore because they have an age limit but when I was young enough for them there were a lot less opportunities for these contractsIt really feels as if being born just a couple years later would have changed our life a lot. Within just a few years so many things became normal, while back when we were younger it still was a big privilege. When I was a teen only the very rich could do a year abroad, while now so many degrees even have it as a requirement. I also always wanted to do that but never even dared to ask my parents because I thought it would be financially impossible. Therefore I just went to a local college. My younger siblings however have been studying abroad since years, of course supported by my parents, and feel no shame about it.
In general it's crazy to me how many younger zoomers can afford to do so much when it comes to traveling/"working", it feels like they really have no limits. Maybe I wouldn't feel so bad if I was even older, didn't grow up on the internet and didn't know about all these amazing opportunities even existing. But seeing so many other younger people living such different lifes compared to me, while I never had access to that myself, is just painful. There would have been so many interesting new jobs out there that I didn't even know about because for my parents basically only 3 acceptable options existed for me. My sister is very young but my brother is ironically only 1.5 years younger and yet already completely different rules applied to him compared to me.
No. 533206
>>533126>Anon, you're at least lucky that your parents would be ok with you quitting your job, to mine it means everything.I see it as the least they could do after they fucked me over so many times and in hindsight they mostly agree. I won't go into details but they're old out of touch retarded poorfags who believed that the reason why I couldn't find a part time job as a young student was because I didn't send enough applications, because they're stuck in an era that doesn't exist anymore and they don't believe in sending applications online and not because of the delayed consequences of the 2008 economic crisis in our country or the fact that they made me babysit by younger siblings for free whenever I had "free" time. There's way more than that, it's just one example among far too many. You worded everything else way better than I did. But on top of that there are also plenty of gen X adults I've worked with who had better opportunities than our generation because of the costs of living and other things. Two of my coworkers right now told me how they lived in London for a few years and had their first significant job experiences there because our own European country is racist and wouldn't hire them for anything after graduation and guess what? I had the same idea but brexit happened. Once I graduated I thought I should go to other countries on a working holiday visa because nobody wanted to hire me for the same reason or because companies acted like we were already in yet another economic crisis in 2018 and 2019 and guess what happened? Covid. And then I got too old for these visas. I think our generation was very unlucky in other, smaller aspects too. It's dumb but the fashion trends back then were pure ass, technology was evolving very fast so if you couldn't afford a new phone every year you could be stuck on a piece of junk that barely works with more useful, updated and now mandatory apps, don't get me started with windows 8, in my country we had to deal with several terrorist threats until the pandemic happened so there was a lot of tension in big cities, etc.
No. 533264
>>533104It's good that you are received with open arms in your childhood home. I wish I could do it but I get pestered with questions about getting married or a job within a few days. I don't know how to deliver a nicely packaged story thus can't elicit empathy to help my case. I haven't turned 30 yet, but since I turned 25 the marriage pressure from my entire extended family started mounting. Some auntie even tried to set me up for fuck's sake.
Yeah quit your career if stress is taking its toll, health is more important and actually the nu status symbol so go ahead and laugh in the faces of the relatives pushing you to keep up with the joneses when you'll look more youthful than them kek. I learned not to care much as long as there's a roof above my head, two warm meals each day and a mediocre PC that can play some good old vidya. The comforts paupers enjoy today were what the rich only dreamt of 100 years ago, despite the rat race drones telling you otherwise
No. 534378
>>534364Ooh nice question as soon as I arrived.
Mine are deep and you may ponder on them for weeks or months, and it will make sense later if it doesn't now.
1. What happened or didn't happen to you won't matter in the near future, only how you think and feel about yourself. Take time to understand, process, and come to terms with everything you've experienced thus far in life. Find them as a growing point.
2. Things and people come and go, whether childhood, toys, friends, relationships, career, opportunities, memories. You have to always know it can and will happen, and let life take you in the wind to your next destination. You'll find that where you end up is often where you were meant to be.
3. If you feel stuck and want something to change, actively make a change yourself. Something about putting forth the effort and energy into something causes a domino effect in change in your life. This can be trying something new and out of your comfort zone, or returning to something you haven't experienced in a while.
4. How people treat you and talk to you is often a reflection of how they feel about themselves. It's better to not take anything personally. Know yourself.
5. It is okay to fail. It doesn't mean you messed up your life, or you deserved it. Failure balances out success, life is about balance and it's a cycle. You simply cannot always win.
6. Times passes faster every year, don't put off anything you want to do.
7. Take care of your skin!! Moisturize, exfoliate, avoid sun damage, don't drink, don't smoke, don't let negative people into your life, manage your stress and chakras. Healthy heart + healthy mind = healthy body
Well that's a few more than just one, but I have a lot of life experience.
No. 534565
>>534562I’ve never actually thought about it like that. I don’t think that every single person who says things like that has an ulterior motive, but it is definitely something to keep in mind and I’ve fallen
victim to being used by those who took advantage of those qualities before.
No. 539926
>>534364Spend your early 20s dating and not settling down with men in a long term relationship, you'll learn from experience who and who is not right for you. No, he's not going to be The One if you have to beg for him to pay attention to you at any point.
Start a savings account and contribute to it every so often, better now to have passive income flowing your way for your future.
Start lifting weights, understand the strengths and weaknesses of your physical body. Work on specific spots and do full body workouts from time to time. And big thing is to not to forget to have rest days.
Build a female friend group if you don't have one already. If you already have one, look around for more female friends to add to this group, or build a secondary group. Socialization is essential.
No. 540287
File: 1745897145418.jpg (12.09 KB, 275x238, 1743085806561.jpg)
Early 30s and it is becoming clear to me that I am a bit insecure about it. I had some bad things happen, and then made some really bad choices, that pretty much fucked my 20s. I am getting my shit together now in my 30s. However I am basically at where I should be ten years ago and I am embarassed about it. It would be good for someone in their mid 20s, less where I am at now. I work with a pretty wide range of age groups and I am insecure about how "behind" I am. I know 'everyone goes at their own pace, it isn't a race it's a journey you can't change the past', etc etc but is there any solid way to get over this insecurity? Or any advice to make it hurt a little less? Every now and then someone will make a comment, maliciously or naively, and it stings me very badly and can put me in a depressive state if I am not careful. I don't like that someone can ruin my day like that so easily.
No. 540308
>>534364-everything usually works out, stop worrying.
-be more normal in social situations, the stakes are not as high as you are making them out to be
-Work on skills and improve yourself. I wish I had done that sooner… im doing it now but pretty much every skill worth doing takes like 5 years before it blossoms. I'd probably be so much further
No. 547976
File: 1746703153299.jpeg (148.79 KB, 598x614, 1630013184286.jpeg)
I hope I don't sound insane nonnas, I wondered if this is normal.
I'm 31 and I'm thriving in my thirties having survived some exceptionally traumatic things in my early and mid twenties, I've worked in the same job for six years and I have always been the youngest. In the last year I've become very close to another girl who started here, and she is currently 23. We both get a lot of male attention and we both have really good conversations between us about the ageism that we get sometimes from the women who are in their 60s, for being younger. Honestly we often get victim blamed when men are creeps and we stick together.
Lately I've been feeling really dysphoric because I gained about a stone and a half last year, but I find myself gently envying my friend's metabolism and how we are almost the exact same size and height but she can eat way more comfort food than me and not gain weight, and her period bloat she'll complain is obvious but to me it's really cute and a soft little bump. When I have it I feel really perceived. My insides feel tired and I'm sometimes envious that I never got to have the same experience at 23, and that's when my father died and a lot of bad things were happening.
Is it normal to sometimes feel envy towards girls in their early twenties? Besides this friend, I swear the girls I see in their early 20s have it so together, their fashion is impeccable and they just seem to know what to do? My intrusive thoughts have started to paint me as inferior and not as pretty as my lovely work friend, despite us both always getting complimented, I don't know but because I'm older and she's younger, sometimes I feel a bit in my head? Am I insane?
PS. Late diagnosed autism at 26 and doing much better now but god does my autistic brain get the urge to skinwalk this friend. Out of the both of us she gets mistaken as older, and me the younger one but I just wish my early twenties had been more full of whimsy. I am making up for this now by filling my thirties with it.
Also I hate how moids perceive anyone over 25 as past their time. What the fuck?