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Thank you for your reply! I have around 1.5 years left before turning 30, and it feels like my life is ending due to the regular male rhetoric and media portrayals. It also doesn’t help that early 20s women talk about women over 30 like they’re hags. I have also always looked younger than my age, so I guess it’s not aging itself that is scaring me (I know I’ll look okay for a long time) - it’s wearing the “30 badge” and potentially being looked at as lesser because of it. I don’t want children, so that’s also I factor - because people judge women so heavily for that.
I’m not sure I’m content in my relationship, but now I’m afraid to consider leaving because of the idea that most men prefer younger woman (20-24).
I posted Taylor for this thread because she’s 33 , and to me looks even better than her previous years. Plus she seems to be thriving and really enjoying her life, more so every year.
29 here. I really don't feel it. I dont care much about the age I guess, but I do feel a little weird when I remember how old I am yet still don't seem to know how to socialize? I am good at one off things. Just never could figure out how to just fit in somewhere. One good thing about getting older is that there does seem to be less pressure to be in constant contact with people, and the outings can be both goofy and mature at the same time. Time boundaries get respected a little more. I gained a little weight from some meds that basically do the ambien thing and I would eat a lot at night…working on it. Im bmi 26 ish maybe 27 I think. I really, really dont want to hit 30 being overweight. I used to be borderline buff, life happened then covid happened and now it is now and idk where my muscle went. Its floppy and I have more cellulite. I also have quite the collection of thick black chin hairs I suspect are part weight related, part age related, and part med side effect related. So I guess i am mourning the body I seem to have lost kek. But I am very motivated in finding a gym to get re buffed, its just everything around me is awful or really expensive. My 'career' is kind of a joke, kind of not. Idk. Ive made great progress for myself considering my personal circumstances, but, most people who go my pathway have me feeling like my business is basically a kids lemonade stand. My gray hair started coming in a few years ago, but this year the amount has exploded. I stright up love it. I love my bright silver strands. Cannot wait for more. Idk. I am both more lonely than I expected to be, but more secure in keeping my own company rather than embarrassed now. Weird times.
32 and just enjoying a peaceful chill life.
I feel more confident than I was when I was younger, I guess now because I know what I like, don't like, not afraid to tell men to fuck off, and make enough money to travel, work out, and pursue hobbies. Got lucky to marry a chill partner who also doesn't want kids, so we're just enjoying life and saving for retirement.
So far aging hasn't bothered me, maybe because I still look young so it hasn't hit me yet. But also for a long time I've worked out, eat healthy, yoga, and focused on skincare over make up. So I don't feel physically different neither, just happier now that I have muscles. So the earlier you can start some sort of any physical activity, the better you'll feel when you get older.
And I've noticed as I reached 30 I've gotten a protective eye over younger girls out in public when creepy moids go near them. The advice I want to and try to give to any young girl is don't do hook ups/one night stands with any dude, nothing about it is worth it. You're not going to orgasm, it's dangerous, and chances are he's a loser. Especially since redpilled scrotes are so common now.
And I guess these days I've been reminiscing about my childhood. I think being a kid in the 90s was the sweet spot. Young enough for a normal healthy childhood before technology got big but then got to enjoy internet/tech in pre-teens. Thinking back on N64, playstation and ps2, 90s anime, 90s movies, children cartoons, Adult Swim, Toonami, etc. I dunno how zoomers feel about their pop culture, but I still think the 90s was the best kek. But now parents just put an ipad into their toddler's hands asap, and seems like gaming addiction is on a new level so people are losing socialization skills. Rip 90s
hello fellow homeschool victim
. didn't know there was more than one of us here.
I enjoy a much wider range of foods now but the taste-change happened in my twenties not thirties. The only benefit I'm getting with my thirties is just from the experience of having eaten and cooked more things. I can tell why some food is bad (like in what way someone cooked it or what cheap ingredient was used) and I've tasted better food than I thought I could taste. Honestly it's a double edged sword because some of my old favorite treats taste crappy to me now… I'll never enjoy kraft mac again.
I used to think it was just something my dad complained about but now I too genuinely think almost everything has too much salt in it. I love salt but it's ruining some foods.
I'm turning 30 next year and it's… weird. I never thought I'd be this old. I always figured I'd be dead. I think I've really grown emotionally and socially over the last decade but there's still more to do lol
I still live at home because we're in one of those crazy rental markets and a social worker's salary just won't cut it. (Fun fact, there's multiple social workers and human services employees on public benefits in my county!) But I'll be getting a raise next year and if things don't get worse (kek) I'll move out. I was on my own in college and liked it. It's just leaving my family behind for real is strange and foreign to me.>>332732
Hey, 94 baby! I'm a late 94 but yeah, once you're out of high school, it's hard to meet people in your birth year.
my sister in law shares my birth year but we are in such wildly different situations I don't feel like she's the same age as me (our personal lives are equal sort of but she has a PhD and just feels more grown up to me). Literally never met anyone else born my birth year (not even school because I skipped a grade and then got homeschooled which sucked).
That's something I wish I did in my twenties but I was just too scared: go to school. Get an associates or something. Maybe my thirties will be the time….
Sort of on-topic: the way there's a 5-minute shorts show called Turning Girls about "girls who face a battle against the turning point of their lives" (turning 30) and the finale is ridiculous and makes fun of expiring when you turn 30 if anyone wants to watch it (start at the beginning if you want to know the characters, it's short and one of them is absolutely a cow).
What a nice idea.
I'm 37 at the moment, honestly didn't really realise my change from 29 to 30 as I've been going strong with depression, self-harm, ED, alcohol and bullshit like that. It only hit me some years ago well into my 30s that I'm doing and feeling better than before, I'm calmer, I don't care about most of the bullshit and stupid people around me and I've learned to ask for help when I need to. I'm also mostly cured from all this things destroying me while younger and that's a big relief.
What I still don't get is having children and the need to "dress your age". I've been thinking about it a lot lately after a class reunion and most of them had children by now, but it just isn't something for me and I'm very much okay with it. Dressing my age, well, no, I will continue wearing skinny jeans and band shirts (and sometimes galaxy leggings)
The most important thing I learned so far is that you are never too old to change and learn. I finished my apprenticeship in my early 30s, got another degree a year later and still think about going back to university because I fucked up my degree years ago with all the mental health shit going on at that time. As long as I'm breathing I can change things and learn stuff.
The only thing I'm sad about is the lack of people that are like me, without family, children, just free. I sometimes miss being out at night, going home in the morning and not caring about a thing in the world. And I regret being poor and not having a house with a garden by now, kek.
So, my advice to nonnas turning 30s, it's not so bad. Honestly, my mental health issues got way better and other women my age confirmed that, you will be more confident and know what is going on with you and you really don't care about a wrinkle here or there. One sad thing is that you will lose people along the way and it will hurt and you will remember them but that is just life. >>332632
just wanted to say Hi, nice to see someone here that is older than mid 30. Hope you are doing amazing.
Just chiming in to say I’m 30 and besides being physically weaker due to my own laziness, I’m somehow at my peak. Putting in the work in my early 20s paid off and I still have a good physique and muscle tone. I didn’t start taking care of my skin (properly) until I was like 27 but luckily my genetics (and the fact that I couldn’t afford to go tanning back when that was trendy) carried me to having good skin. Anyone approaching 30 please don’t freak out because life is good!>>332716
This is true for most people, including me. But it just depends bc obviously someone can fall onto hard times at any point. At 30+ though you’re better mentally equipped to deal with things.
I've been trying to find women who are 30+ or at the very least 25+ in my fandoms, I wish they were easier to find. I tend to be wary of public Discords since I hate having to walk on eggshells around gendie/shipping anti types but it still bums me out when the rules have an age limit like "18+ but no one over 30" even though I don't really want to talk to the vast majority of 18-24s anyway.
When I was in high school, the cool and respected people in my fandoms were the ones in their 30s happily posting their fanfics and fanart, but now it seems to be the other way around where now they're reviled and seen as automatically "creepy" or "have taxes to pay/kids to raise" even though most of us want to stick in our own corner and have been in these communities for over a decade anyway.
Jesus christ anon, in the kindest way possible, please snap out of it. Deranged trolling has skewed your perception of desirability. The idea that you’re too old to risk leaving a relationship is part of the incel cope for actually unwanted, unsavoury men. Sort things out with your partner and break up if needed. You don’t want to be miserable in the future saying “I married my husband because I didn’t think I could get another boyfriend at 28”. Do whichever so you can come back to reality and rebuild your self esteem.
And stop taking obvious lies meant to insult you at face value or as the truth. It’s group effort negging to make you easier to trap because men fear joining that huge population of leftover men (demographic most prone to suicide). Literally all straight men are attracted to 30s women, it’s just bitter resentment and posturing that make some say otherwise and you don’t want to even know those types, so don’t worry about their rhetoric. You won’t have trouble dating. Any jaded incel will tell you that when his rage settles back into sadness. Old men stuck on “20-24” y.os aren’t looking to treat any woman well either.
Finally, instead of fearing 30 and feeling old when you’re not, picture yourself decades ahead looking back on yourself today. Do those felt limitations still make sense? What would actually make you happy to do now? Sorry if I was condescending, I just can’t stand seeing the manipulation grip women.
This post isn't about aging.
I never used to have it in my head that I was raped, because I blamed myself for it. Even though I said no many times and tried to push him off, I somehow got it in my head that I sent the wrong signals. I was married to him, after all (I got married before I was 21, do not recommend.) I was reading an article on rape in history and it seems so cliché but all these things flooded in. I have an impeccable memory and yet - my brain hid these experiences from the common record. It took that article to make me remember so much. I've been raped. I've been assaulted prior to that. Numerous times. I've never given enthusiastic consent to a man aside from a handful of times (trying to make marriage work - can't call that anything but mutual, though I hated it). I was a virgin when I got married. And now I don't even know if I have a sexuality.
Why were we blamed so much for what men did to us? Why was our childhood and coming of age a miasma of guilt and shame? I am not envious of younger women but dismayed that in my 30s I see how abused and neglected we were as young women. How I was brought up to feel only shame, despite being a "good girl." I got married to an abuser to escape an abusive household environment. And now I'm alone. I don't care how old I am now. I care about those of us who will never have the support we deserved. It's just so sad.
The romanticization of mental illness and trauma among well… people my age and younger, too, has also made it harder to feel OK about asking for help or addressing some of the wounds. I guess it should feel easier, but instead it feels like if I got through life this far, I should be able to continue.
Do we ever get to stop sacrificing and compromising for a little while? Sometimes I look back at things I have accomplished and I can't even acknowledge I did them. It's like I have no idea how I produced those things. That's not dissociation or anything, just a profound and perpetual inadequacy no matter what. Is it that people our age needed external validation to thrive? and if we didn't get that, if we hopped from abuse to abuse to demented boss to demented superviaor, we ended up so fucking broken and sad that we can't even own the products of our own toil? I can't relate or respond to any of these self-empowerment things: they are all so fake and shallow. Am I too old? Too aware? How do you fix this mindset of never feeling good about yourself as a 30+ woman?
I’m not sure how to help you, but I wanted to say I had a similar experience and you’re not alone.
I was 20, about to turn 21 when I started an immediately serious relationship with a 33 year old. He raped me on Christmas. It took me a while to understand it was rape - he was upset about an ex that he last heard from around Christmas. I was tired and high, I didn’t want sex at all. He forced himself on me despite my being obviously uninterested and very annoyed about it. I sort of just laid down and let it happen after a few minutes of light struggling and saying no. I remember thinking afterwards “was that rape?”. Brushed it under the rug and stayed with him for another three years. I wish I had respected myself more between the ages of 20-23. I’m 28 now. Wasting my early 20s with that guy is my biggest regret. Should have been enjoying myself instead
Another horrible aspect of that relationship - while I was drunk on one of our first nights together I let him give me a small stick n poke on my hip. He carved his name next to it with a knife. I thought it was so romantic and edgy, since he also said that way nobody would want me again knowing I belong to him. The next year I let him do the same on my knee, again while fucked up. Now I have to live with those and see them every time I take off my clothes and it makes me sick
If you look at some famous actresses, some got their best roles in their 30s, not their 20s. Not only that, they look absolutely elegant and just as beautiful as they did in their 20s. I think about this a lot. 20s are essentially a continuation of teenage years, brain forms around 25, then 30s are the true prime years if you care for yourself in your 20s. Moids/incels love 20-somethings because they are essentially close to being teens, naive, easier to manipulate, and less sure of themselves. It’s a sad fact but also empowering. So many women simply blossom in their 30s. I look at photos of my mother in her 30s and she was absolutely stunning, so elegant and beautiful, and if one didn’t know her age you could assume she was 25 throughout the entire duration of her 30s. Nearing 50, and she is still gorgeous, with the added aspect of looking wiser, calmer, and kinder. Imo women aren’t even old until 50.
What really irks me is the zoomer generation and their obsession with “old” people - they seriously act like 25+ is geriatric. I wonder if any of them have the self awareness to recognize they’re right behind us, and their 20s will fly by. I hope they’ll be able to cope okay when they start hitting that milestone… it’s sad thinking all around.
thank you, nonnies, for relating to my vent. I am so sorry you both suffered with things I mentioned and I wish I could take those burdens from you.
And yes, it does sting a bit to see society bend over backwards and indulge someone's mental illness, knowing how horribly we were treated as kids. Mental illness was taboo. You didn't talk about it. Autism was flapping hands and people who memorized calendars. There wasn't nuance at all. Maybe we are stronger because of that but we can never erase the scars of growing up in that environment. And my theory is that eccentric behavior was largely tolerated up until the mid 80s. Things somehow changed then, some kind of rebound conservatism or association of strangeness / atypical behavior with drugs.
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Hey mcrfag, i was the OP who interacted with the teen. She was engaging, fun, and nice. Most teens suck but so do most adults. And honestly, teens are still developing and learning. A lot like us being in our 30s- we also are works in progress.
I think some teens are weird, but they have grown up in a era of social media (beyond basic myspace and blogs), they have grown up connected with smartphones, and also made it through a very isolating pandemic.
I dont mind the younger fans/ enthusiasts. I myself am a former mcrfag now. the whole gway in dresses, being sexual for a crowd of teens weirds me out
Consider it flattery theres kids loving the emo era.
>>332654>I've noticed as I reached 30 I've gotten a protective eye over younger girls out in public when creepy moids go near them.
That's just jealousy over not getting any attention, nothing more. Be honest with yourself.
I think humans were never meant to live this long and it's all pretty much done and over after 30. For reference I'm 37, and while my life is perfectly in order there's really nothing out there anymore. You run the gamut on all experiences and human interactions by the time you go over thirty, and everything beyond that is just a boring and predictable slog. Yes you can do dumb shit and travel, party, pick up hobbies and so on but it's all just a smokescreen that hides utter boredom. Everyone knows it and nobody has the guts to admit it, but it's the truth. None of this has anything to do with youth or beauty per se, but the way humanity is. There's a hard limit on how much emotional content there is in life.
Depression completely evaporated out of me by the time I was 22 or so. No Nonna, I really mean it - there's a hard limit to emotional content one can have in life and it covers everything from depression to blissful happiness. It all becomes a samey experience in the end, you stop feeling strongly because you are intellectually aware of how emotions come and go, and you've experienced them all many, many times. >>332971
The point I was making is that that hag, and I'm an even older hag, is "looking out" for younger women out of jealousy and a desire to sabotage potential relationships and happiness (no matter how transitory) that can develop between a man and a woman. She's just clothing this in some bogus sentiment about how she's an oh so noble and motherly mamma bear. It's all just a lie.
Take care of yourself, by yourself. Only you know how to do that and what is right or wrong for you. Every "motherly" hag is a piece of shit and I struggled a lot to come to that conclusion about myself too. Older women will always try to sabotage the younger with their "good intentions." Be careful out there. Men are predictable, other women are more sinister and insidious, and vicious.
This hag talk is quite suspicious.
I really value the friendships I have with some much older women btw, everyone is different and many are kind and supportive to younger women>>332968>think women helping other women who are being creeped on are jealous
>>332889>20s are essentially a continuation of teenage years, brain forms around 25, then 30s are the true prime years if you care for yourself in your 20s. Moids/incels love 20-somethings because they are essentially close to being teens, naive, easier to manipulate, and less sure of themselves.
I think 20+ year olds are still adults, but I do judge anyone past their 20s who only date 18-24 year olds, I find younger adults so unattractive and baby-faced. I think I'm more attractive now than I was when I was 22.
>What really irks me is the zoomer generation and their obsession with “old” people - they seriously act like 25+ is geriatric.
I notice the current generation in their early 20s now are more immature than the people who were 20 a decade ago. When I was in my early 20s I didn't have a second thought about being 25-30+ one day, but to zoomers it's the end of the world. I'm looking forward to the rest of my thirties but my least favorite thing about it is you're either put in the boxes of "too old"/"a hag" or a "MILF"/"cougar". >>332968
I can't even put into words how retarded this post is.
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I'm 50. Weirdly, it's really great as everyone my age is old and an uggo. And if you do the bare minimum of looking after yourself and getting some exercise in, everything is really peachy. (Also you have more money so that is a plus).
I found this is the age when all the ex-boyfriends of my teens and early twenties start trying to get back into contact. I've put effort in to getting back into contact with my unrequited crush, who has grown up to be a wonderful man (sadly married, as I am, so we have a platonic friendship). Now that the bulk of family stuff is over, you can go back to doing the stuff you REALLY liked, but without the weight of "what are you gonna do with your life" hanging over your head. Sure, there's a bit of retirement planning, but this is the BEST time.
At 25 I was in an abusive
relationship with a piece of shit scrote and wasting away in a windowless cubicle. Wanted to kms but was too busy working to really think about how bad things were. Now I’m 30, in a healthy relationship (started at 26 and still going strong), work from home and get to do whatever I want with my time. I still have struggles but I’m happy and even though I’m not rich at all, there isn’t much I want that I don’t or can’t have (main thing is a house but that’s like 90% of people my age so I don’t feel too bad)
This is toxic
, leave this thread. Your thinking is exactly what perpetuates the stereotypes. Get help. Fix your thinking. Seek therapy, but don’t spread your bullshit rhetoric here.
25 - living in hometown, awful relationship with ex, no assets, no therapy, depressed
Now - new city, married, homeowner, regular therapy, less depressed
I'm not old but at 25 I was struggling to be employed, on a cocktail of meds that made me dissociated from reality, and going through an eating disorder. At 31 I've been having a steady (albeit annoying sometimes) job, my lifestyle is more healthy/natural besides the electronics, and while I struggle with a social life in the middle of nowhere I'm not living in my head constantly.>>333059
This is also just a general discussion for 30+ women, this isn't all femcel whining over "hitting the wall". Plenty of posts are happy besides the bait.
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Noémie Merlant. Saw her in Baby Ruby yesterday, she had this youthful energy about her and I was assuming she was mid-20s. She’s actually 34! Pictures don’t do her justice, she’s gorgeous in motion. Also loved her at 30/31 in Portrait of a Lady on Fire.
She also actively speaks out about the objectification of women.
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Adèle Haenel, speaking of Lady on Fire. Currently 34, 30 at the time of this pic. Recently quit the film industry openly due to their complacency towards sexual predators. Was manipulated and sexually abused at a young age and was very open about what happened. Lovely woman all around, and so strikingly beautiful
with 25 I was unemployed, couldn't leave the house, depressed, suicidal and just got kicked from university. Now in my 30s I have an education, will soon have a nice job and my mental health is like "healthy". I'm not suicidal anymore, only a little bit depressed, but I'm doing better than ever. Sure, there are one or two things that are still a struggle for me and I regret stuff, but back then I didn't know any better, as I didn't have any help from the outside and fought my battles alone. Best thing about being older, I don't care what most people think about me anymore and it's so nice to just be who you are without trying to impress someone. There is always hope if you let it happen and if you try to change the things that make you feel miserable.
history is full of late bloomers, you may not have come anywhere near your peak yet. you can do anything at nearly any age once you're an adult. tons of people have had a eureka moment in their 40s and 50s and started a successful business/hustle or invented some random knick knack that made them a millionaire.
or just work a normal job and save up. there is gonna be a big market collapse during the 2020s for sure, dont invest shit right now wait for the next great depression and get into the market after a bubble pop and wait for things to rebound. gonna be a huge tech bubble pop soon mark my words.
>>333277>why was everyone in this thread having a horrible time at 25
I wasn't, through I had my own ups and downs over the years of course. They are just replying to >>333189
who asked specifically for people who overcame their troubled 20's
Nah I look and feel better than ever. Like nonnie
said here >>333384
, invest in health. When I was I was in my early 20s I didn't do much physically. But once you start working out and get toned, or any muscle gains, you'll look and feel so much better. And now I can afford to choose better quality clothing.
I stopped doing 98% of my make up except some little liner and mascara, but no longer use foundation or anything that cakes on. Just obsessively use sunscreen and a skincare routine. Looking back I regret using so much make up because thats just what everyone else did. Personally, most women look perfectly fine naturally imo. Take care of your skin and you'll be fine. And just the ignore the minority of loser redpilled scrotes who say women hit the wall at 25.
I finally filled out at 32. My body looks better than in my 20s with very basic exercise and eating heaps of veggies. I've got a bit of volume loss in the face but it's not noticeable if I'm hydrated and use HA lotion.
You just have to be a little more intentional in your 30s. >>333377
Yes! I haven't needed to drag my husband or male friend everywhere to ward off horny pests for a few years. I'm so much more relaxed in public now.
At 25 I was dating and so humiliatingly in love with a manipulative, cheating addict, had no job + I had my degree but was too depressed to do anything with it, was living with my dad in a two-bedroom apartment. I was an alcoholic to the point that I had pretty severe physical symptoms and my 26th birthday I got so embarrassingly shit-canned at National Harbor that I don’t think I can go back to like any establishment there (including the Peeps store.) I’m 30 now and haven’t talked to the abusive
ex in any capacity in three years - which is a feat because I literally was so brainwashed I believed my only reason to live was to love him. I started a really good career at 27 and got the 6 figure salary promotion a few weeks after my 29th birthday. I bought a house with my Nigel, who is a good and kind and trustworthy man who has a real job and real priorities. I’m 2 years and 7 months sober.
I still get depressed, and at 30 and sober it’s different and hard now for me to reconcile. I thought if I fixed my life’s circumstances things would get better and they did, significantly, but there’s still that nagging feeling with the added pressure that I have so so so so much to lose now if I were to ever backslide. I also have this complex around my looks because when I was constantly fucking up everything around me, at the very least I was always fuckable. It’s hard that I can see myself aging and to know that I’m losing it little by little - hair’s thinning, varicose veins, little bit of turkey neck, etc. I think I always knew that aging would fuck with me but I had hoped I would’ve made my peace with it by now, but I guess I have a backlog of things to work through that I just drank about for 15 years. I think I’ll get there eventually though. There’s still so much time.
I am turning 32 in a few months from now and I'm trying to turn my life around. I'm so behind everything due to years of depression, falling for troon bullshit and neetdom. I'm trying to get in college to get a career. I'd like to have a relationship but I don't really feel this is so urgent as I used to when I was in my late teens/early 20s. Like, I'm open to it but not looking that deep because I know I have to fix up my problems and have at least a bit of economic stability before I can accomodate a partner or whatever and I am not interested in casual relationships at all. So I don't feel so bad about not having a kid or being married/dating because I know it could only end badly in my current situation. I never really thought badly on being single probably because my family never pressured me into a relationship, quite the opposite, my mom always told me to not have kids so soon and also to not marry a guy like my dad kekk. My dad reinforced these teachings by just being himself. I guess that really saved me from being stuck with some retard and a kid.
I expect to get into college next year and I guess if I'm unable to for whatever reason I can still get a job. I don't know what exactly I could be doing if I don't get into college, never planned that far because I'm always afraid of making too many plans and having none of them coming to fruition. All I know is that I just can't keep living like a man, wasting my life doing absolutely nothing. Besides I have my mom to take care of.
On the bright side, I look much better nowadays than in my teens and early 20s. I mean, yeah, I am kinda ugly but I grew into my features and don't look so awkward anymore. Also I don't care anymore about what people think of my choices of wardrobe, I dress whatever I want and I made peace with the fact there are some things I can't change and there is no reason to change them. If not for other people making me feel this way, I don't think I'd ever feel uncomfortable in my skin, and I know that now, which really killed any desires I had during my early teens/20s to change my body in any way, plastic surgery would never fix the issues I have, it would only make them worse. Oh, and I don't have this fear I had during my teens of getting older anymore, I just don't care.
All I miss about being a teen is not having this fucked back. Also I regret not exercising in my 20s.
Sadly not, moids are shit as soon as they hit puberty and it never ends.
Women in 30s tend to say "All good men are taken by now" but from what I have seen a lot of women who started their relationship early in their 20s and settle with their moids have come to peace with eating shit.
Also women who get to 30s and go into panic mode so they settle for a moid also give up and eat a lot of shit.
The only way is to learn to be content with being alone and only accept a moid in your life if he brings value. Age does not matter.
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Gal Gidot is 38 and grew into her features so beautifully. Imo she looks even better than she did in her 20s, and it seems her career straight skyrocketed when she entered her 30s. Incel moids drool over her as Wonder Woman and I don’t think it even clicks for them that she’s well into her 30s lol
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Elizabeth Olsen is 34, and I recently saw a movie from years ago when she was in her 20s. She looked exactly the same. She was also stunning in Love & Death
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Margot Robbie - has looked exactly the same for the last decade. Playing Barbie at 32. She always looks so full of life and like she’s just enjoying every year to the fullest, and always excelling. Love her.
If you think it's a bait, why are you replying? Also sis? Kek. Did you come from some underground tea forum?
Also this thread is filled with delusional old women who are failures in life just like how 4chan is filled with old men who are failures in life. Both groups are too old to be wasting their time shit-posting instead of trying to improve their lifes and both groups have mental disorders or underlying traumas that make it hard for them to fit in.
Instead of being worried about serious things, both groups care more about how they're perceived as unattractive and romantically undesirable>>333666
post is an example as she types paragraphs being angry some incel told her that she's no longer hot. Normal women don't care about pedo incels, only losers like you guys do.(infighting)
Agreed re:beauty, I get the original nonna's intention, but the focus on having maintained youth is not a good priority. Taking care of yourself and maintaining your grooming/health is good, but those posts are skewed more towards maintaining desirability and proving to moids that women are still valuable for sex last 30.
I don't think there's anything wrong with celebrating a woman returning to school past 30, though. School is an actual important axis of self-development in most countries, and a gateway to being able to financially support yourself as an independent woman. Too many nonnas believe that just because they were put behind their peers by circumstances like mental illness or abusive
relationships, they've missed their chance. It's good to show them that it's never too late.
Cope harder, I'm in college and I'll be quite accomplished once I'm your age, which is all I'm working towards. I also don't care about men finding me hot or old unlike the insecure idiots here because I don't spend my time in online spaces obsessed with looks as much as you. I also don't buy into the ideology that women look worse at 30 so I won't be as pathetic as you once I'm your age. I'll see my smile wrinkles and be happy I got to smile so much, see the grays in my hair and be glad I survived those stressful moments that caused those.
I think women in their thirties are generally great, the ones I talk to irl at least they're quite shitty online just like any age group, I think the ones here are losers though. Seriously, stop caring so much about looking young or old, it really doesn't matter as much as you think. Who cares if some loser virgin guy thinks you have wrinkles? Who cares if an incel claims you're too old to be pretty? Who cares if some porn addicted moid makes fun of you for being single?
You guys literally care so much about how others think. You're spamming random 30 year old actresses and saying they're pretty. Like, what were you expecting? Do you think women all look disgusting after 30? This whole thread smells like insecure women brainwashed by incel ideologies, next thing these retards are gonna do is settle for any man or woman that shows them attention because they think they're too old for an actual person to love them genuinely. Not healthy.>>333694
I'm not saying getting older is bad, I'm saying that the mindset anons itt have isn't healthy. They're obviously very insecure and have a weird fixation on looks and youth. A woman doesn't even age that much until her late forties but since these women probably hang out in online chambers that shit on any woman's looks, they think they're grannies who have completely given up on their looks or something.
>>333696>it reaffirms my belief about early 20s women thinking they’ll never age
you only believe this if you spend little to no time with your grandparents. i used to live with mine, and i was never scared of aging and recognized myself as a future oldie.
multiple generations must share a house. the way we live right now, in flats and apartments, separate and "independent", is bad for humans as a species.
You’re agreeing with the premise of the thread but you’re being a huge bitch about it. Damn sorry some of us have insecurities how silly of us to talk about them. Fuckin A, let us work through our issues in peace. Although I agree on the actress-posting but that’s because I cannot relate to celebrities.
No young’ns allowed. Shoo.
I agree with the premise but I disagree with the arguments anons are making. Not aging isn't a good thing and pretending to be younger than you are is futile. I'm not pretending I'm 18, I'm not trying to look younger because I know it'll only be damaging to me in the long term.
And although I agree with you and that insecurities are things you should work thorough, I think a lot of anons itt have very toxic
mindsets that influence others negatively as well. I personally don't look at rich gorgeous 22 year old celebs and compare myself to them, I doubt anyone feels good about themselves when compared to a curated image of a very rich person who has means to purchase all type of beauty. A lot of anons seem to be spending way too much time in incel spaces and that's why they have very warped views. The only man that's told me women expire or that look ugly when they grow old was an abusive
50 year old unmarried man who cried to me once because he knew he'd never have a wife and a family. That's the type of man these anons are taking seriously, a genetic dead end.
Do you have fucking eyes or did you not see everybody disagreeing with the anon who posted all of those actresses because she missed the point of this thread? Way to go selectively filtering what you read itt so that you can burn a strawman and fuel your ego boost.
For the record, if your online behavior really was as you say it is, you wouldn't be on this thread in the first place. Go be the paragon of normiehood you see yourself as. Hopefully it'll give you some life experience and make you less of a massive asshole.
I'm not an expert, this is just what I'm doing and I hope you research everything I write. My skin is rather dry and I mostly don't have outbreaks and stuff like that, I'm just very sensitive towards the sun.
What I do is:
- sunscreen, spf50+ every day
- I don't use foundation, only powder, eyeshadow and mascara, but I will wash it right of my face when I know I won't leave the house again
- I switch between retinol, niacinamide, vitamin c and basic moisturising creams with urea and stuff like that. Everything with no perfume, no alcohol, light textures. Not everything at once, more like one product a day and I will go at least one day without everything
- AHA or BHA peeling every two weeks or once a month, not too intense, my skin wouldn't like that
- I quit drinking alcohol, don't smoke and try to sleep at least 6 hours and drink my water, kek
That's all I can tell you. It really changed my skin and I look healthier than before. Next thing I will try is a collagen supplement and then I will see what I can do to improve my hair. I think it's important to not overdo it and slowly find what your skin needs and don't forget that it's important what you eat, if you eat like Shayna, your skin will never look healthy.
To be fair, the first handful of posts at the beginning seemed to be all normal women just saying they're happy, comfortable, and living their best normie lives while enjoying their 30s over their 20s.
You are on a imageboard after all, so the fact there's mixed bag of people ranging from the bottom struggle to the top finally living their best lives shouldn't be that surprising.
That's like 3 people and the majority of the thread is older nonnas encouraging younger ones not to be worried about aging/talking about being happy and secure in their 30s when they didn't think they would.
Genuinely what the fuck is with the random anons coming in seething that this thread is about shit it isn't?
I was in college at your age, too. I hope you succeed but damn, putting down others is an immature trait. Like seriously immature. This thread is literally for women to encourage each other and be supportive by sharing honest thoughts and experiences. If someone finds solace in looking at celebrities who have excelled with age, that’s just fine. If you didn’t notice, it wasn’t just looks that anon was pointing out. She was also focused on their personalities and their successes past 30, when society tells us women hit some sort of wall or become stagnant at 30. The point was missed by most of you. It’s not about their looks alone.
Your derailing the thread by insulting women here is exactly what is not okay. Just because you have such a positive view on aging, doesn’t give you permission to shit on other women who are posting on this thread hoping to find support and guidance. You really need to leave this thread. You are obviously not reading all of the posts or willing to be supportive of these women. This thread isn’t about you. It’s for women nearing 30, or above 30. So you really need to leave and stop insulting women who are here seeking support from peers. Your opinion is irrelevant here. Go somewhere else and stop fucking up the thread by being an argumentative 22 year old. For real. Leave the thread and let the women here post in peace. You’re acting like a child.
I think this is just a sad incel and/or blackpill troll that’s baiting across all threads these days. It’s exhausting but kinda easy to spot once you’ve encountered them.>Goal is to make you feel bad and start an infight>Lack of reading comprehension, nitpicks certain arguments or one specific post while ignoring everything else>At the same time will use other anons arguments verbatim when it’s befitting>Volunteers little information about themselves so they can make something up later to one-up you “ackshyually I’m in college”
Yea like this failure redpilled scrote or redpilled woman who needs help >>332968
100% reads like a manosphere loser. Outdated narrow-minded thinking that women hit the wall at 30, no concept of female comradery of women helping or watching out for other women, and anything outside of the white picket housewife life is misery. Lolcow has a bunch of moids lurking but once it in a while they completely fail to hide it kek
There's plenty of examples of women here who posted about live fulfilling, happy, comfortable lives in their 30s and who are willing encourage or give advice.
20s is barely starting life, 30s is still young and when most people actually can or do start their life. For many, 20s is just studying, shit job, dating mistakes, and time to learn about yourself. So don't let some bitter nonnie
or dateless wonder scrotes who hate happy women discourage you.
>>333884>anything outside of housewifing is misery
I literally only made fun of you losers because none of you have any good respectable jobs or any other life skills. Most admit youre mentally ill or stunted, can't make friends or any connections and probably don't like the currently position you're in yourselves either.
Also being a housewife is dangerous as you'd be dependent on a random man who could walk out any time he wished.
Youre pathetic because you've wasted your life away and only think about how "you've hit a wall" instead of realizing how many opportunities you've missed. If being less pretty is all you care about even though you have no friends, no life skills, no education, several unmedicated mental illnesses,
nothing to be proud of, then I don't even know what to tell you.
You're parroting incel mantra because hanging around in toxic
incel spaces is what you spend your time doing. Seriously stop, you're too old to be wasting any more time like this. It's sad.>>333844
Only people who have nothing to offer care this much about looks. As I said, I interact with a lot of older women irl and I've never looked at them and thought they were worthless because they didn't look like airbrushed celebs. You're obsessed with looks because you spend your time online in echo chambers and know that you have nothing to offer so you blame all yout issues on your lack of beauty. Go outside, look at women my age. Are they all gorgeous? No. But they're not obsessing over their lack of beauty and letting that stop them from living their lifes.
Stop pretending that it's normal to care this much about looking "sexy" when you all have much bigger issues.(back to infight, again)
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What do you think of the concept of "milestone birthdays"? Will you/did you do something special for your 30th/40th/etc? Would you appreciate if people made a bigger deal out of it than any other birthday? I feel like every birthday is kind of the same but I also think it can be fun to do something bigger if you have an excuse. I have not ever had a big bday bash but my best friend is turning 40 this year and I want to do something extra for her, I just don't know what.
There are many jobs in the ME field surprisingly, I was going to aim for autopsy assistant until I looked into medicolegal death investigator and the listings in my area. I started off with funeral services and a funeral service education degree. After 5 years of working with the medical examiner on occasion, doing calls with them, and hands on experience with dead bodies through funeral services - I was able to be considered at the MEO in my area. In most cases they want you to have a bachelor’s in science, I believe, but having lots of relevant experience is also an option. They also want you to have some classes or experience with medical terminology and anatomy which I luckily have. Where I’m working they require you to be certified after 1.5-2 years from hire date, and once you’re hired on at the MEO those doors start to open and the progress is fast.
If you’re interested in working in the field, I’d recommend starting off with a bachelor’s in science or the two year funeral service education degree, and maybe do some removals for a while (just removing and transporting the decedents to various locations), imo hands on experience with dead bodies of all types (decomps, suicides, crime scenes, normal deaths at home/nursing homes/hospitals) is the way to go for gaining the experience they look for. I wish I had applied sooner tbh I wouldn’t have been stuck running in circles at a funeral home for minimal pay lol. Funeral services does not pay well so my early 20s dream job didn’t really get me far
I will be monitoring replies to this lol
I lived in five different cities in the last ten years. I have friends from the second city and somehow no friends from any other cities (one “toxic
” ex friend I honestly shouldn’t have been friends with but that doesn’t count, we basically bonded over being workaholics at the same job) other than that just some work acquaintances I don’t keep up with. I don’t know how some people do it… feels like I should actually have a large social circle from living so many places but the reality is the opposite. I’m not even socially anxious. Kinda wish I hadn’t moved so much in my 20s
Making friends in your 30s is difficult ngl. I've mainly made friends through volunteering. Try to find different volunteer opportunities and you'll come across some people with similar interests and values.
You can also try different groups like book clubs and activity groups (e.g. running club etc).
Join clubs and classes of things you are interested in (art, books, dance, rock climbing etc) keep an eye open for any events around your city that you may be into and you think people you may vibe with will go to (concerts, expositions, farmers markets, film showings, etc)
Always be willing to approach first, there is nothing embarrassing about wanting to make friends, people love friendly people who make things feel less lonely and so they will likely be open to you unless you are terribly socially inept. If so, being the person who approaches first may seen scary, but the trick is just throwing a comment someone's way and wait if they reply in kind, don't force it or act too eager. The more you do it, the easier it gets.
Thank you both, I will give those things a try.>>334743
I'm working in the fashion industry and I had to work with troons, gender special women, annoyingly woke women, extremely gay men and overall people you wouldn't want in your life. In the end, I would be open to befriend someone at work but never met someone I would say that he/she is worth it.
Eh this happens to me as well, and you’re right. My little brother has deep lines, and a different bio dad so aged much differently. People assume I’m his little sister and starting college soon for gods sake. He never gets carded. Nobody I meet assumes my true age - I’m 27 and have yet to not be carded, teens assume I’m their age and try to converse with me, I recently tried to enter an 18+ lounge and was asked if I’m 18 and to show ID. It’s annoying at work because my partner is an older man, and it’s a family owned business so clients ask if I’m his daughter and along for the ride to learn… nobody takes me seriously, scrotes still approach me and catcall like I’m still 20. It’s almost a curse if you really look at it from my adult perspective. I’ve been waiting for age to hit me in some way, but I’ve consistently looked 20 since well, age 20 lol. Haven’t even put on extra weight since 20 or grown tits. Starting to think I never will. The worst part is the surprised looks and confusion when I present my ID when asked. At one bar, they assumed it was a fake and my friend who was with me had to stand up for me. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I can’t wait to get a few fine lines, maybe gain five pounds and be taken seriously by adults and people around my age.
On the plus side, the physical aspect of aging doesn’t scare me much at all. Just the implications that come with being older, the expectations, and the looming reality of my older family members getting sick or dying
I'm 37 and had to show my ID twice to buy alcohol this month and we are allowed to drink reaching 18, kek. Most people assume my age between 25 and 30. Sometimes I think about lying about me real age in my CV, because somehow people just can't tell that I'm old enough to have adult children, kek.
Getting told that you are mature for your age if you are young is somehow damaging, I feel. I got told that a lot when I was around 15 to 18. Real reason was, I was depressed, not mature, just done with everything and because I was quiet, didn't get into trouble and read depressing stuff, people assumed I'm mature and there might not be the chance that I would need help. I also never heard someone say to a boy that he is mature for his age, it's just expected of girls to be all grown up.
i'm starting feel like the wall is losing its meaning kek and today more than ever scrotes are throwing it around to insult women or basically very young women now.
The manosphere uses it for women at 25 now because they believe 25 is when women "peak" in appearance and fertility, but others will say its women are no longer attractive which doesn't make sense since many women in their 30s still look young in their 20s now because of better life choices…. and scrotes can't tell the difference.
A few weeks ago, some cryptorich redpiller made a post about how he'd never date women past 30 with a photo of girls around him as if he pulled them. But then one of the girls came out said she's a sex worker hired by him, and she and the other girls in the photo are 30+ kek. Even scrotes can't tell the age of most women kek
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Hate to bump but has anyone here used the “aged” filter that’s trending on tiktok? I’m 27, have been in this thread a bit and panicked about aging (have always felt afraid to get old)
So is this actually an accurate filter?! It feels so unfair if so. I see a lot of girls looking mostly like themselves, just older, which good for them but… when I do it on myself, I look NOTHING like myself. I literally look like Pearl in X. It’s insane and it’s actually causing me fucking mental harm. I don’t want to humblebrag but I look young at 27, I’m pretty, no wrinkles, etc. And always thought I’d age gracefully until this filter came out. Someone please give me input on this filter, because I look like a plumper picrel when I use it, it’s embarrassing and terrifying
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Lots of literal children where I live have smile lines, crows feet, and even "marionette lines" (not really but lines going down to your chin). It's just our facial fat distribution. We don't age badly either. There is no concept of 'the wall' here. Men will just fuck anybody.
Is this a Western/Northern Europe thing? North America thing? Internet thing?>>339809
I'm Greek, we certainly don't look haggard by 27 even though it's sunny. Some people never wear sunscreen either, and lots of us chain smoke. Some men will start balding and look like the Penguin after 25 but most people lead decently healthy lives and move a lot. You have to try really hard to look old in your late 20s and early 30s. The internet has scared a lot of women into buying products by telling them they will be unlovable and ugly.
I'll be 32 next month and I feel like I'm actually happier. My life isn't perfect, but things are going a lot more smoothly than my teen years or all of my 20s. Linking vid because she's someone I watch and she recently did a video about turning 30 and I can relate to a lot of what she says, but especially the part about not caring about certain things anymore. There are things I would've really been bothered by during my 20s that don't seem to faze me now and I'm not entirely sure why, but all I can attribute it to is age. I had a hair appointment last week and my stylist, who is 27, didn't believe that I'm about to be 32. I even saw the stylist and client in the chair beside us quickly glance over out of my periphery when I said my age and people in my classes (a mixed bag of some older than me, but mostly zoomers) also didn't believe that I was 30 a few semesters back.
I will say that the only difficulty has been finding women around my age to be friends with, because it seems like they've either settled down to have kids already and are always busy or they're handmaidens to the gender retards. I don't harbor any hatred towards women with kids and I'm still on the fence about whether I want them someday, but it would feel awkward trying to hang out with someone who is clearly on a different path than me. I'm sure that if I decide to start a family, I'll be able to befriend other mothers because it seems like there's so much more readily available for families than the childless. For now, my boyfriend and I are focused on being fiscally responsible and plan to eventually look for a house.
When I hit about 33 (35 now) I started having some strange experiences and thoughts about life. It might sound retarded, or just like mental illness lol but I started questioning the purpose of life in general, my own life, worthlessness of life, what I'm doing, what I haven't done, how I'd lived in my 20's, felt weird about my hobbies being only for the teen-mid 20's age range, compared what I considered important then to now, felt strangely empty, like things were not real, had a ton of anxiety, struggled with my body changing (period changes, skin changes, first gray hair at 28, fine lines/wrinkles, and even my fingerprints starting to just fucking disappear), a sudden awareness that I have detached completely from the younger generation or rather stopped keeping up with music and media so I really exude that "How do you do fellow kids?" energy if I have to socialize with them at work for instance but also feel totally unwelcome by the older crowd, also been pondering the fact that I don't have a partner and never explored my sexuality. My upbringing was a little fucked up so I don't form relationships normally and certainly can't maintain them, and that's any relationship. I'm terrified of men and will go to great lengths to avoid them even though I'm straight and want to just TOUCH and cuddle with someone and that biological clock is REAL and ticking for me. But, I feel like at 35.5 I'm far too old to have a child. I have a steady and decent paying job, own two vehicles, have a therapist that helps some, but my living situation is not good. I live with my aging parents and am seeing them decline slowly so I wonder if it's fair to leave them and yet, they infantilized me my entire life and still control me. As of now, I kind of just get through each day and try not to cry. Some days are a little better than others but I know I'm only going one way, and that's downhill. Can't discuss any of this with my mother, she's an old hippy stoner and super paranoid and hysterical about everything.
I didn't have a career to begin with, dropped out of university without a degree and let my 20s be ruined by alcohol and depression. In my early 30s I finally got a degree, got another degree based on it and right now I'm looking into getting further education in my field. Honestly, if I had the money, I would go back to university, study biology and not care about a plan or career, but I don't have the money, so that might be a dream forever. If you feel trapped, that might be a good sign that you should change your path and start something new, maybe work till the end of the year, put some money aside for emergencies and think about what would make you happy. In my opinion it's never too late to change and you have enough years of work ahead of you, so why hate what you do when you could change it?
I’m closing in on 30 soon and this thread was really helping me before. Can we bring this back, and can any over 30 nonnies provide me with any sources of comfort? I was on 4chan yesterday and it made the situation worse. So many men there saying women only have value before hitting 25. I know I shouldn’t listen to incels but it really hurt. I’ll never know what people in my day to day life are thinking I’m beyond hope, useless eggs, “hitting the wall” etc. I’m having a bit of an existential crisis, feeling like my life is over and essentially my existence is going to be minimized and my age will be all society cares about. I feel that if my current relationship doesn’t work, once I hit 30 I won’t have any options. I’m feeling self critical because I’m not where I thought I would be in life at this point in time. And I’m scared because it felt like my 20s just flew by, and I missed out on so many things I wanted to do/become. I know this is negative thinking - can any wiser nonnies give me some guidance? When I was in my early 20s I told myself that if I was still feeling like an ugly failure around 30 I’d just give up on life. I’m so anxious when I think about time and I’m not ready to be 30+. I don’t want to wear conservative clothes, give up on myself, change my goals to be more “mature”, I just want another chance at my 20s and I can’t have those years back. I do not have any girl friends in my age range and I just have no support for this transition as my mental health decimated my 20s and made it hard to find friends. Someone, please give me words of guidance. I’m lost here.
>>341331> I’m not ready to be 30+. I don’t want to wear conservative clothes, give up on myself, change my goals to be more “mature”, I just want another chance at my 20s and I can’t have those years back.
I'm not really sure what it is you want to do that is only possible in your 20's. Your 30's aren't years where you start to dress like a an old librarian lady then lie down and rot while the world moves past you. Some things like children do have biological end dates and need to be taken into consideration when making plans for your 30s, and you're out of the run to become like a female athletics champion now, but other than that, I really don't know what's so limiting.
It might not be the most positive or upbeat thinking, but also - you won't be getting younger. If you didn't start some habit or project you wanted years ago, now's the earliest time you can mend that. Even if you don't change your work, start a degree, start socializing now (I have no idea what your goals are), time will still move forward and you'll just be a 35 year old with a shitty job, no degree and no friends.
why do you have to change magically over night because you turned 30? Nonna, you can still be immature, you can still wear whatever you want, you can still have the same goals or none at all, you could find a new partner, you can have children at the end of your 30s, you can marry in your 50s, there is no wall and men telling you there is one already hit that wall in their teens. I missed out on many things in my 20s, too, mental health issues are shit and ruin much, but I won't let my 30s and however much I have left be ruined by stupid social norms that aren't true or real. Just sit down, think what you imagine your life should be at the end of your 30s and then work towards that. If you want children, see if your partner fits and if you both are ready in the next years. You want to change your job or your appearance, do it. You want to make new friends or travel the world, well, you can still walk, so go for it. There is nothing holding you back except for maybe money and your own mind.
I've met many women in their 30s to 60s and all of them were strong, independent women, with goals, hobbies, love and they dressed like they wanted. Sure, there are women out there that are miserable, but some are miserable because of their own making and you don't have to take them as an example how growing old will be.
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I'm 37, I have a mostly useless college/university degree but a useful high school diploma, I worked in IT for a while and now I've had this job for more than a year which involves cleaning floors and bathrooms in supermarkets and offices
Pretty good though
Doesn't it earn pennies though? Idk I
ve only ever seen obvious migrant women have cleaning jobs.
>>341331>So many men there saying women only have value before hitting 25.
Same men are complaining that women are incapable of being mothers, that they are wasting their eggs, that they are poor losers. They can't make up their damned mind, either they want a young carefree woman to have sex with or a mature woman who is financially stable and ready to be a wife and mom. Same men are wasting their youths and rant on 4chan instead of having a meaningful relationship and children.>And I’m scared because it felt like my 20s just flew by, and I missed out on so many things I wanted to do/become
I feel the same, but ask yourself if the things you wanted to do are actually impossible now. Don't focus on what you missed out on - you weren't well enough to pursue them, don't blame yourself for it, focus on improving your life and yourself so that you can pursue those things now. Don't torment yourself for not achieving milestones.
This stress comes from being far behind others. If you haven't changed much in your 20s through studying, working, dating, friends then you feel extremely lost because you can't relate to anyone, you feel stunted and this leads to loneliness. In reality, life is very chaotic, a lot of people don't have a perfect life at 30 - people change careers, break-up serious relationships, are lonely because they haven't met anyone/gave up on relationships, return to school, develop crippling mental and health issues, they regret what they did in their 20s, have a broken heart, debts, feel like life if pointless and boring etc. Lack of experience can be good.
>>341457>a lot of people don't have a perfect life at 30 - people change careers, break-up serious relationships, are lonely because they haven't met anyone/gave up on relationships, return to school, develop crippling mental and health issues, they regret what they did in their 20s, have a broken heart, debts, feel like life if pointless and boring etc. Lack of experience can be good.
Nta. I know no one's life is perfect but I just don't see the "plenty of people deal with serious shit at 30" irl, at least not with friends and family that I'm close enough with to know for fairly certain they're probably not dealing with shit behind closed doors. Like I'm the only one in my social circle who was in and out of the education system throughout her 20s and didn't start a real adult career until her late 20s, I went back to uni at 25 and I was definitely the only one in that age range, everyone else was 21 tops, I'm the only one who isn't in a long-term relationship (not that I particularly care about this one but still), I'm the only one who's still renting without real perspective on buying property because everyone else had a "real" adult job and a partner to fund a house with just before the housing market skyrocketed, I'm the only one "floating" who hasn't settled.
Not trying to throw a pity party for myself here btw, I'm honestly not unhappy and I'm working hard on meeting my personal goals so it's fine but I'm definitely the only one in my immediate social circles who has clearly failed to meet default expectations/milestones at (nearly) 30 and it's a bit alienating seeing everything go so smoothly and down the expected road for everyone else my age who I associate with. I love my friends and family and I wish the best for them but sometimes I wish I could join a "I fucked my teens and 20s up and I'm still dealing with the consequences, let's be friends"-club lmao.
My financial health is significantly better than when I was 20, but poor at the same time
I’m panicking because I’m another year closer to 30 this month. I feel like for my 30th I want to throw myself off a cliff, I’m so nervous. I didn’t enjoy my 20s the way most people do. Any nice nonnies that can talk me down/pass on words of wisdom?
My 30's has been some of the best times of my life so far. I'm so much more confident and I've been able to deal with my social anxiety better because I know it's just an anxiety and not reality.
You have to do what you want to do and own it. It's depressing but I like to think that we're all going to die some day and when we're dead literally none of this matters so why not do it?>>341476
Yes I love wearing crop tops and trying to look cute and I want to dress this way as long as I continue to like how I look in it. Being healthy pretty much automatically results in having a good body so that's extra incentive to take care of yourself and start eating healthy and exercising no matter what age you are.
Good sleep and minimizing stress are a panacea. If you can nail the big 4 (other two being diet and exercise) then you are doing better than at least 95% of people. Combine that with the fact that most people only really hit their stride with career, life goals, and just general effectiveness in their pursuits once they are in their thirties and you are basically looking at having one of the best decades of your life.
I won't shill any particular books, but good advice tends to crop up again and again from multiple different sources. Basically just making sure than you give your work time and relaxation time hard edges that don't bleed into each other, and not confusing algorithmically-honed, dopamine-spiking distractions for relaxation will do a ton for reducing stress. Sleep stuff is again pretty basic and there's tons of info freely available.
I was similar about feeling like life was coming to an end when I was younger, though being serious about it sounds pretty extreme!
When it comes to growing out of that feeling, it probably helped that I had tried dating some of the men that care about age (stupid I know) in my 20s in an effort to lock down a man before I expire, learned that they all make for very bad partners and they were banking on me being too young to know better, and woke up to the fact that all along it was nothing more than a high pressure sales tactic. It turns out the "used up" talking point literally just means "she knows better than to date me now so I'm going to reject her first before she can reject me." It's all in bad faith and these men are chronic liars who want to cope with their loneliness by trying to make women feel bad about themselves. Anyway I replaced my fear with contempt. I don't care if I'm viewed as lesser than by shitty scrotes. Hopefully you can take something valuable from that.
Some men view women over 25 as used up and worthless too. Some men want to fuck kids. Why care about what they think? Men are retarded and most can't even tell how old someone is, how would they know who's "used up"? People who love you know you for who you are and numbers don't matter to them.
I had a bit of anxiety over turning 30 too (though not nearly to the extent of wanting to kms over it, that's worrying) but once you turn 30 you're just 30. Nobody shoots you like a lame horse, you don't look any different from how you did the previous day, nothing happens.
Most people don't care. I'm still in university and people just think I'm the same age as them. I'm not trying to say I'm a super uwu young looking legal loli, but that you really won't look any different and people can't tell.
This documentary is haunting me, nonnies…
So far my adult life hasn't been fun at all and I haven't achieved any of the things I wanted but the thought of still being in the same miserable place 10 or more years later is killing me. Rn I still have my parents but one day… The thought of having kids terrifies me but I still feel like I need to quit my childish dreaming and find a man asap to be surrounded by more people.
Another thing that really troubles me is having intense yellow fever after a decade of weebness. I'm no 'stacy' either but I really never see a guy in my country who isn't super ugly to me, even if they're still younger than me. And of course each passing year it get's worse and once you cross 30 many will be divorced with kids… I'm so jealous of those young love couples who met when he was young and cute and over the years just stopped caring or are blinded by love.https://youtu.be/r4g5tqcoH_4?si=5klDrQoFmR4FcB35
(sorry somehow couldn't embed the link?)
As someone who worked as a chat mod for dating apps (really just using fake profiles to keep horny, clingy, creepy moids spending money on these apps, bc their horniness/clinginess/creepyness scare away actual women, a very small percentage seemed decent dudes), I found it surprising how little most moids actually care about looks or youthfulness. I'd have some really haggard-looking women in my userpics and there was always a bunch of men interested, especially young guys. I think the moids who are more vocal about women hitting the wall are mostly the ones who won't even make an effort to get some, or senile moids who want desperately to believe their old, degenerate sperm is worth something. So I've come to terms with my body aging and became comfortable with only going for young (adult ofc) dick. It's been actually been nice, bc unlike women who try to improve as they go through heartbreak, moids only get worse. You might have to guide the more inexperienced here and there, but they're far more open to feedback and willing to please.
To me the worst part of being in my late 30s is my juvenile sense of humor (always been like this even when alone), it just doesn't fit anywhere else and I'm very self conscious about it bc if anything, it's getting worse as I age. I feel like a woman my age shouldn't be laughing at the shit I find funny.
Also is anyone else getting tired of this site since there are so many young retarded newfags? The average post quality was better just a few years ago.
Divorced with kids at 30? Where do you live, arkansas? Men look fine at 30+ if they took care of themselves and didn't eat a gamer diet and fry their skin in the sun. your whole post is crazy.
your 30s are just your 20s but with money. I look and feel exactly the same at 32 as I did at 18.>>347291
men are so retarded they can't even tell if someone is wearing makeup or not. Imagine taking anything a moid says seriously. They're dumb cattle designed to be labor-meat golems; unfortunately their mouths make too many noises. Scrotes really be beer-gutted and malding and talk about ranking 18 year old women for hotness. Men are worthless garbage thinking their burger king crown is real diamonds and gold.
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why do these men want to punish or shame women for growing older? why do they care so much about a women turning 30 and her “eggs”? this guy probably doesn’t even have kids himself lmao, it’s such weird behavior.
I’m turning 30 in 3 months and, yeah it’s a little scary to reach a new point in my life, but I didn’t give a shit befor. Now I see these types of posts all the time and, I still don’t care but it makes me doubt the men around me, are they thinking such weird thoughts ? Do they all view women like this ? it makes me just not want to bother at all with them
Fucking hell, you're considering chaining yourself to someone and having kids 'to be around more people' but somehow moving or getting a hobby where you talk to people is impossible? I hope you're young and this stems from a Tiktok overdose because this is a fucking grim mindset. Maybe try therapy before you shoot yourself in the foot.>>348747
Men are obsessed with passing on their retard genes and don't understand why women are genuinely happy being single and child free. They can't fathom a world where women wouldn't care, would think this was a low effort prank a 12 year old was filming for their Youtube channel, or wouldn't have any idea what the egg carton meant. The thought of a woman over 30 getting pregnant or putting off having kids until she's older is as alien to them as the idea of self improvement.
They believe shaming older women for waiting or deciding not to have kids will somehow make it more likely for the older women to go into panic and have kids with mentally ill or abusive
men like themselves, which unfortunately sometimes works.
I knew a 40 or so year old woman whose abusive
super religious ex cheated on her and after she went through trauma and got manipulated by him in her bad times, she got married and had a kid with him. Last I heard, she couldn't bond with the kid and the child will have a negligent mother and a cheating father.
Definitely, it's the ultimate revenge fantasy for incels. But also, their hatred of 30+ women isn't for an audience of 30+ women, it's a show they put on for younger women. To make them insecure, desperate, and in a blind rush to be with any man who will have them. The more women willing to settle for less due to time pressure, the better for any average moid trying to get a girl out of his league who he can treat like garbage.
They've always been youth obsessed but their view of age is getting more and more vitriolic and extreme thanks to manosphere/incel radicalization. It used to be about mocking 40+ women who want to get married but are still single due to insanely high standards (only wanting millionaire supermodels) - which is dumb incel shit, but not that crazy. Now it's about mocking 30 year old women just for existing, no matter what they look like, whether they want marriage/kids or how high their standards are. I haven't actually noticed any of this shit irl though, it seems entirely online.
Former semi-NEET and probably austistic, got my first "adult" job in my late 20s. I'm always living with the constant fear of losing my job in this new economic downturn.
In my 20s, I was a dumbass fujoshit coomer who only listened to anime OPs/EDs and never wore sunscreen. I quickly grew out of that upon getting a real job.
Still have some of the same habits as my 20s, but I'm also in the process of developing better habits. Not as terminally online as I used to be. I'm also healthier now, cooking more, improving skincare & losing weight, cleaning & staying tidy a lot more. My 30s are way better than my 20s ever were.
But all of this could disappear just as easily if I lose my job. I'm pretty terrified of falling into a deep depression again and relapsing into my old ways. Everyone has been telling me to work harder on my career and learn new skills but I'm just so overwhelmed by all my other responsibilities, which aren't much to the average person but feel like a lot to someone who was a shut-in for so much of her life. I'm getting better though. I am going to look into courses to improve my skills and hopefully land a better job one day.
One thing I struggle with is avoiding lifestyle inflation. I need to be more careful with my money. I am very careful about my grocery budget and I basically never go out to eat or do stuff, so I save a lot of money that way. But I waste a lot of money shopping online for shit I don't need, or is bad quality. I'm part of a lot of personal finance forums and learning better habits through those.
My current worry is interest rates and whether I'll be able to afford the mortgage on the property I'm planning to buy. I have enough money for a downpayment, but I'm not sure I can pass the stress test.
Thank fuck that I'm no longer obsessed with anime or manga the way I was. Watching literally every anime that came out every season just to keep up with everyone else. Had I spent a quarter of that time on some useful training or self care, I would have been in a much better place than where I am today. And sweet Jesus am I thankful that I didn't grow up with social media to the extent that Zoomers do now.
, best of luck. There were older students in my courses in college and no one questioned why.
I think my life is taking the same trajectory as yours. My job feels pretty dead end, even though I was promoted with a slight salary bump. I also got a degree for the sake of it, since my parents pushed me into getting one. I never wanted to go to university in the first place.
The only difference is, I'm rather unmotivated & don't really care… as long as I have a job, I'm happy. I know what I need to do to get a better one. And I know that I'm capable of it, and the people I work with depend on me, so maybe the company can't let me go just yet.
I really need to move towards the next step in my career but I don't want to enter any rat race to the top. I just want to earn my keep and enjoy life. It's becoming increasingly harder to do with all these economic uncertainties that keep piling up with each decade. How do quiet quitters pull it off?
I'm so proud of you nonna and I'm wishing you all the best. When things get tough just think about how far you've come already!
With regards to struggling, everyone does - some people are just far better at hiding it.
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30+ nonnas here: did/do you feel like you need to make a choice between being independent and having a relationship/family? I'm in my late 20s, I really value my independence and I really like to travel. All I save for is a future mortgage and a travel fund. I felt this way since my late teens, and I've never put arbitrary age-based goals on things (such as marriage/kids etc) because I feel like if I didn't hit those goals it would make me depressed. I wouldn't not count those things out but I wasn't aiming towards them.
But after my last birthday I started to feel more conflicted. I feel like having a committed long term relationship would make me happy but I can't force that with people and I haven't met anyone who I feel that way with.
Additionally, as someone who had (invertedly) neglectful parents and was raised primarily by my grandma I know what its like to not have parents around and I wouldn't want that for my children. But the conflict is that I just love travel so much and I just want to see everything - I know I can't have both and I feel like the next 10+ years of my life are going to be a time of deciding exactly what I want.
As much as I value my independence (and my drive to do what I want) I am also starting to feel more lonely, this didn't bother me when I was younger and I was honestly kind of content to be a volcel - but now I think it's really hitting me, I'm just scared to die alone one day.
So 30+ nonnas: Did any of you feel like this and if so, any womanly advice/wisdom you can offer?
I'm OP: the answer is money my dear nonna. I'm not from money at all (grandma died penniless) and I doubt I'm going to find some wealthy man willing to wife me, or rather a man that I like that's also wealthy. I make enough to look after myself but not enough to be able to afford to take a family abroad.
You're right some places I really could (and would like to) take a family but there's a lot of places on my bucket list where I really wouldn't or it would be very intense for children. In the words of my mother "Why do you want to visit places where you're going to get blown up or shot at?"
glad to know I'm not alone here nonna>>349022
exactly with regards to my bucketlist I'm leaving a lot of my safer/less intensive destinations (aka Europe/North America) at the bottom because at least if I hit my more daring goals early I won't need to drag any children across MENA countries or Asia.
Mid 30s now, technically the same as ever but since I was born I was always getting less interested and more depressive with ever year and after more than 30 of them I am just rather dead inside since there is nothing new and interesting out there I care about. Not sure how other people do this. Maybe I was just always depressive or something and with adult life being 500 times more boring than any year during childhood the depressions get much worse as well, no idea.
Currently NEETing again since having fulltime jobs makes me borderline suicidal. Was never interested in a relationship, I only ever cared about a few good friends I once had but somehow I feel like it's impossible to make genuine friendships as an adult and since they lack the whole "common origin" part they feel empty and other people feel alien.
It's sad but it calms me a bit to know that there are others. For the longest time I thought it was normal and that everybody else was just stronger than me and forcing themselves to live normal lives, but now I rather feel like most people in real life feel better, not worse, once they hit the 30s. I know so many that are more motivated than ever and painfully optimistic.
Thinking about it I cannot even muster enough motivation to draw what I should like. I drew so much as kid and till my early 20s. Now I force myself and need half a year for a single pic. Thing is that drawing is inherently emotion related, at least to me. I drew because I vented or expressed emotions. But now I lost them, so there is not enough to express anymore. You are probably right and we are just mentally fucked.
I'm here to tell you that I feel the same. I'm still hopeful that my interest in the living world will come back as I missed out on so much stuff being younger because of how self-destructive and depressed I have been back then.
I can also fully relate to the drawing stuff. I drew every day until I turned 20 and then I just stopped, I maybe have one picture that I drew the last 10+ years and it's sad. But I was way angrier and I feel like I had more emotions back then. It's amazing that what you have written is exactly like how I feel.
I'm still going on with my life, being a neet as I hate most humans, accumulating more knowledge, just wishing to be rich to be free of what society expects me to do and having to work until I die. People actually think that I know what I'm doing and that I'm not faking every single emotion they get from me. But like I wrote before, I still think that there is a possibility to get back what I felt years before, to be not this depressed anymore that I'm even too depressed to kill myself. I've survived so long, now I can add some more years just out of spite.
I hope you and nonna >>349182
will feel better one day and the three of us will have an amazing, quiet and nice life.
Second nonna here again, I used to do a ton of art too. I thought I'd go to art school. I don't think I drew more than 2 or 3 times in the last 7 years.
I really think we should seek help. I've been putting it off for so long because of bad experiences I had with therapists in my teens but living like I'm already dead isn't a solution. Good luck nonnies.
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Friendly reminder for those of you feeling like 30+ is the end that Fran Drescher was in her mid 30s-early 40s when she was starring in The Nanny.
Incels seethe harder.
OP Here: Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts nonna. I completely share your thoughts about wanting to be able to do something when I want and I do think I would be miserable if I couldn't. Whilst I have this mentality I know it would be incredibly cruel to have children and raise them like this. I've always considered adoption, as that means I don't need to worry about a time limit on conceiving my own children.
With regards to growing old and senile I'm annoyed that assisted suicide is not an option - I don't want to become a prisoner in my body and as soon as I lose control I want out.
I wouldn't agree with that statement at all personally from what I remember doing in my 20s and what I'm doing now in my 30s.
One of my law professors back in uni said it best, the 20s is an unstable period of finding yourself out and trying different stuff out like in teen years but with the freedom of being an actual adult. So you kinda tend to start stuff, or do spontaneous things like visiting people you befriended at a meet and greet in a big town/during a convention, you meet different types of people. And you discover that the grass isn't greener elsewhere or people aren't as nice as they make themselves out to be. And you slowly learn that you gotta rely on yourself to get some shit done, nobody will do your tax declaration or job search for you after uni.
Then in your 30s you kinda figured out what you're about, you get your career path, living in your own flat/apartment/house without roommates figured out and/or family goals. And hopefully because of the 20s you went through, you know the traps to avoid with colleagues, with life/work balance, with savings etc.
Maybe it's because I've had 7 years of my 20s that were rough that I can't call my chill 30s "the new 20s", other nonnas might agree with that statement of yours. I personally rate the 30s as better for someone who seeks mental stability than to call them the new 20s when I know the mental instability I have been at then.
Honestly, I’ve enjoyed my 30s so much more than my 20s. I feel so much less insecure than I did. I know it’s not the case for everyone, but it has been for me personally.>>349397
I felt this feeling so much when I was in my 20s. The “hurt”. Now that I’m past the that period of my life, the anxiety of aging has seemed to get less. You will always have value nona, and despite what some men will think, there will always be people who admire and find you beautiful at any age.
It's redpill/manosphere fantasy from the online loser dateless men who believe they're "average", their "preferences" matter, and woe the average men is lonely.
There was a moment when a discount redpill influencer was online bragging about pulling women onto his (rented) yacht and that he doesn't do women under 25. One of the women came out a few days later saying he (and RP influencers do this too) hired her and the other girls from OnlyFans and also they're 30+, but these dumbfucks can't tell the age of women. They also date women from sugaring sites who lie about their age too.
But honestly, most socially normal average men aren't like this. Most men and women date and marry within age range. The average age gap for marriage is like 2~3 years. Most normal people want someone relatable.
And I didn't really get my life and routine together until my very late 20s (when I got my career). Working out, yoga, eat healthy, etc so now I feel and look better than I did younger and lazy. Wear sunscreen and figure out a skincare routine (retinal, moisturizer, vit c). Most people look as good or better in their 30s because of skincare, finally have money to be comfortable, got their shit together, etc. So don't worry about it too much if you can follow a healthy lifestyle.
>>349243>I've been putting it off for so long because of bad experiences I had with therapists in my teens
First poster here, same here. Though I think it helps that years or decades have passed since then and that we are adults that can properly talk about what's bothering us now. As teen everybody just assumed I was crazy or weird so they shoved the kid into the therapists' room to make it normal, but they were clearly not trained for the problems I had. It was obvious that the problems they usually dealt with were kids with love trouble, fear of bad school grades or mundane issues with the parents, not kids that were depressive, autistic or something along the lines.
It's probably depression I think. Or a mix between depression and ADHD. Not that I got any proper help so far. Finding a therapist is literally impossible here and psychiatrists are often mediocre and don't even take the time to listen. Well, we should at least try I think.
My cousin I only recently told me that he relies on antidepressants. He is the typical juvenile middle aged cool guy I never expected to have this. But my other cousin (his sister) committed suicide years ago, so I think we should at least try to get that checked because it sounds like it was slowly worsening for all of us. Probably because the issue itself causes further issues like the inability to work for longer periods and that more years are passing in which I try but fail to do anything, making me more pessimistic and tired. >>349245
I totally relate with this. I drew so much, then I visited an art school were I was forced to draw and even after quitting soonish, after half a year or so, I was stunned and incapable of even doing a sketch for years and generally drew less ever since, even when I was still drawing more.
I think I can only do what I really wanted to and it needs to be personal, take that away and a formerly great hobby gets tainted. This is why I swore to myself to never ever do commissions even if I should learn to draw more regularly again, even after people asked me for it. >other peoples media at best. It sucks, I wish I still had the will to create stuff.
Same. I once even drew tons of manga pages of own stories and worked on a RPG maker game for two years. Time of my life, despite the social isolation (though I wasn't even craving anything else). I wish I could get that back.
Turned 30 5 months ago, so far yes absolutely. Lots of people say your 30s is like your 20s but with money and I disagree. It's not even about the money. I just felt my brain switch from "I hate myself, I'm so cringe and everyone hates me" to "I'm kind of a Stacy actually" in the first few weeks. Mental illness? Don't know her.
The best part is I don't give a fuck about anything anymore. I don't care if I'm ugly, I like how I look. I don't care about other people's opinions, I like how I dress. I've been so confident it's unreal. I'm even better in bed. I feel so silly for having literally cried about turning 30 for the past 5 years. It's great.
Worst part is pimply teens on the internet calling you 'middle aged' and using your age as an insult, and incels posting egg carton pictures, but trust me you'll live.
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I feel so hopeless. My 20s were so miserable and went by so fast, mentally I'm still at the same point as after hs graduation, same interests, same dreams, everything. I only survived this far by constantly fleeing into daydreams - which make the reality feel even worse.
When I was younger I somehow never imagined that I had a life after 30, everything I like and always wanted are young people things. I can't and don't want to imagine myself as not young.
This week I got my first big girl paycheck and seeing that sum made me feel so detached from reality, like what am I supposed to do with this, I don't need or want that much money and much less that job, I just want to finally be happy…
At 20 I somehow always assumed all my problems would fix itself, that I'd magically stop being a weeb and on imageboards in my mid 20s, that I'd suddenly know what I want in life, that I'd just happen to find hobbies, friends and a partner, but instead nothing. Each year just gets worse. Back then young me reading about lc anons like todays me would have found me so pathetic.
At 25 I finally started therapy, thinking this is still youngish and that I'd be fixed by now but again, nothing. Instead all those other shit suddenly hits me too, like the fear of turning 30, feeling jealous of my thriving 18yo sister, suddenly believing incels and thinking I will die alone if I don't get kids immediately and so on.
I feel like I have to make a decision right now - either my unrealistic dreams which likely end in loneliness or having a family which likely ends in deep regret…
If I was a moid I'd likely already packed my bags and gone to LA or Tokyo. Technically there probably are more famous women but only because they sold their body and soul. Meanwhile moids can make it anywhere at any age, not just in Hollywood but in any career. And at the same time they don't need to give up family either. Or they can just start one at 50, they have endless choices.
Recently I read that David Bowie had a baby in his early 20s, while he was still trying to make it. And afterward he led a crazy wild life. But that doesn't matter, he got women anyway because women don't care and give their partner any freedom on earth. For them having a family or not doesn't have to change any of their dreams. Meanwhile if I as a woman close to 30 told a moid that I'm not content with my boring job and that I can't imagine myself having children in any near future, I'd be seen as unstable and undateable. If I hear muh 5-year-plan one more time I swear…
It just feels so unfair that they don't need to make this insanely difficult decision like us.
My biggest wish is probably to go back in time and try to grow up normal or to stop time and live as my parents child forever, I'm just a failure of an adult.
>>349830>Meanwhile moids can make it anywhere at any age, not just in Hollywood but in any career. And at the same time they don't need to give up family either. Or they can just start one at 50, they have endless choices
This, it's so unfair. But I also want all of us to remember that it keeps happening even now because there are women enabling this lifestyle for men. There are women who are ok with this. If there was no women content with taking care of children and houses for men, the men couldn't live in Neverland forever and fuck around forever
I know it's also important to remember that, generally speaking, most men can't allow this life either and they are unwantwd and undatable. But it still makes me envy those men who can live like this, even though that's not general male population I think. I also dreamed once about being a famous artist, an actress or a musician. But I grew more bitter over time, seeing what women had to do in order to become famous compared to what men had to do… it was laughable. I could never do this. I still have hopes for becoming a digital and traditional artist though, and maybe a streamer (I would mostly stream art). But even that makes me paranoid. If I revealed that I'm a female, they would sooner or later find out my age somehow and I'm scared how that would affect my position. I never had any social media so they wouldn't find my data online, but I think that at one point someone who knew or still knows me irl could recognize me and post my age. Maybe it's better to just never show my face or wear a fucking mask or something
Every year I have less and less in common with my group of friends. I'm finally throwing in the towel and trying to make new friends but yeah >>349847
this right here. I told one girl I went to my first con in 2003 and she wanted me to tell her stories about the good ol' days like I'm her grandma or something.
On the other hand, half the groups I join I'm the youngest there by 30 years. I managed to find one meetup group with some women closer to my age, but they all have children and it's literally all they talk about. I just want some girlfriends to hang out with who don't have kids to put to bed or homework due in the morning
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I'm going to soon be in my mid 30's and I feel nothing because age is meaningless to me as a legal adult. The main thing I learned after turning 30 was to just stop giving so much of a fuck. There will always be someone younger than me, more attractive, more stable in their life, more accomplished and it is what it is. I learned to stop listening to others opinions that have nothing to do with me. I got sterilized despite my parents being upset they will never have grandchildren because fuck them kids I have never been "maternal", and its not my fucking job to make others happy at the expense of myself. Shit has always been the same, I've just gained insight through life experience. I tried the traditional route of getting married, going to school and having a career to support my future family but I always go back to my true self. I am not a mother, I am not a wife, I'm not a dog of the state, I'm a motherfucking autonomous person dammit. It's my life and I will choose to live it out the way I'd like it to be. Being a woman in this world is hard but I haven't felt so in touch with the power women hold until now. I live my life with one thing in mind, never saying "I wish I did xyz". If you wanna do it then do it, and if anyone catches an attitude fuck em.
God I feel this so much. Hobby groups are either just young kids, so it makes you even more conscious about being old(er), or it's people your age who only care about weddings or worse kids, or it's older women whose kids are out of their house or they're retired and therefore bored and picking up hobbies again.
Where are all those unmarried women everybody is talking about?
What makes it more difficult for me is that I don't have any positive non-traditional rolemodels in my life, I only know older married women. I'm scared that the unmarried ones really are lonely and hiding in their homes, or that they don't really exist, that getting married is so natural that just everybody does it and so should I? >>349836
I know that not all moids do this but at least they can afford to try.
When I was younger I always wanted to live life without regret but now it suddenly feels as if the risks are just way too high…
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I’m 33 and feel like I had a fairly uncommon 20s experience than my friends. I had a kid pretty early (like before the legal drinking age) graduated college with a BA but ended not using it because clients have shit taste, and got married at 25. I knew him since middle school and was not gonna risk playing the field and possibly exposing my daughter to some sick fuck.
My 20s were filled with a constant pressure to provide her a better life and not become exactly what the world already thought of young, single unwed mothers. I dont resent her for that, but i resent the unfair expectations held on moms vs dads.
My girlfriends are all single without kids so I live vicariously through them. I love hearing about their trips to Thailand or about the cute guy in their apartment building. Unfortunately they're also all scared theyll end up alone. The one that hits hardest is my sister whos a bit older. Shes constantly traveling and meeting up with old friends but once told me she just wants to feel wanted. Meanwhile I’m on the other side wishing I had the time and freedom she does. Is the grass not green enough on the other side no matter what?
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how i handle it: buy midlife crisis floor loom, steal plant cuttings constantly, & consider it all apart of my karensona.
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I'm going to be 30 next year and I didn't think it would hit me this hard, but it has. Originally I was planning on killing myself right after high school, and have tried a couple of times but was stopped. I never put any effort into my future since I figured I was going to die soon anyway, and now here I am 10 years later with nothing to show for it except a crappy retail job I've begun to resent, no higher schooling whatsoever, no skills, and a dwindling friend circle. I have a small business selling my art but even with both of my incomes combined I make less than 20k, and now my illness and anxiety has made it extremely hard to work. I blamed external reasons before, but really this is all my own fault. Once I'm done with my pity party, I can either try to get my shit together or die. We'll see which one I pick.
, I’m in the exact same boat. I wish we could be friends. You sound a lot like me… I was reading this post thinking “did I post this?”. Wish I could reach out. Regardless I suppose we’re in this together.
, ive been feeling funny about entering my 20s, but to hear that you’ve made it work, and that you can break cycles of abuse, really gives me hope. I’m glad you have success and confidence, I hope to get to where you are ♥
I feel like this dynamic shift already happened in my early 20s when they all had mostly steady partners, then they all got married and had babies while I was still in uni, so I felt like we're living completely different lifes.
Nobody ever tried to set me up tho, I guess I don't have close enough friends for that…
I'm so fucking worried about never finding a bf the older I get because I don't want to settle. Sometimes I feel downright pedoish because white moids above 20 look tragic. And once they're approaching 30, they're all fat, bearded, balding and so boring, plus likely expect you to want babies because as a moid why not?
I wonder whether I should study again. I actually just finished (my major takes a long time in my country) and now have a high paying job, employed by the state.
But I hate it so much. Plus I'm not ready to be a proper adult yet, I never got to enjoy being young, so I kinda want a second chance? But if I didn't manage to make friends and have fun in uni at 20, how should I manage as an older student…
Everything feels so hopeless, this is the opposite of what I imagened my life would be when I was a child.
It’s a shit show, just like social media is now. The internet sucks and was my only outlet for years.
I spent all of my 20s hiding from my abusive
family via a narc relationship & he left me for a 19 y/o. My life is currently the opposite of everything I worked towards. I have no degrees, no car, no career, no apartment, no hobbies, no friends, no passion, no faith. I used to have/be achieving all of that successfully though. But I fucked it all up & tbh death is preferred. I ended up in a psych ward from it all & nothing has felt real since. Every day is a nightmare. Working up the courage to down pills on 30th coming up
, you and I are in a similar boat. I dreamed of romance ever since I was a kid, in many ways because of my parents' happy marriage. I also feel a lot of pressure to find a good person to settle down with now that I am approaching my 30s because like you said, the longer we wait to find a romantic partner, the less good choices we'll have. It's really not a meme that good guys get snatched up fast, whereas there are brilliant single women across all age ranges.
But I think it's even worse for our generation! In a month, I can honestly count the number of guys I have found attractive on the street where I live. It's not a big city, but it's also not the middle of nowhere. You cannot deny that the internet has ruined men. There's this one guy who works in a different department from me and from our interactions, I thought he was 35 at best. He has balding unkempt greasy hair, horrible style, and is overweight. One day we were talking and he goes "oh, I just turned 25!" And I was like???? No fucking way you're younger than I am and you look like this!!!
But nonna, don't give up finding friends at an older age! I found my best friends while living abroad, completely by happenstance. You never know when and where you find people you click with. Don't give up on happiness and silliness in life!
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Still 28, but I'll be 29 in a couple of months. During the new years transition into 2020, I felt this horrible pang of dread realizing that youth was passing me by, but that dissipated instantly once the clock struck midnight. Approaching the end of my 20's doesn't feel that way to me, at least not yet, but hopefully it just doesn't rise at all. On the contrary, my husband is sweating about turning 30 this year, kek. I'm ready to gracefully enter this new decade of my life; it's not like it really has a meaning unless I give it one, I'm a healthy individual even compared to my colleagues in their early 20s. I am finishing up my Associates at a community college this semester, finally, and I anticipate that when I go on to uni, I may feel embarrassed by those 10 years younger than me taking the dame courses. Oh, well!