/ot/ - off-topic

Sure you weren't just fished?
Have you spoken via Skype or other solid means?

>>58616
We have skyped before. He's very much real. And this was all since 2013. I've contacted him through all means I know of. If he was using me it sure is out of character and took a goddamned long time to do, so I don't see the point of him fishing me at this juncture.

Even if he is authentically sick he still could have said something about how coming over was a bad idea… I can't lie, at first I was angry but now I just feel very sad and disappointed.

>>58614
you went all the way to london? daaaamn

>>58623
Things got worse from there but it falls into the "incredibly humiliating" territory. Although I'm back safe and sound if it matters any.

Don't be a gay guy in the middle of nowhere who has to depend on the internet for dating.

Long distance relationships…
Not even once. At least you learned your lesson, it's sad it had to be the hard way though. Do you have any methods of contacting him?

Stay strong, friend. I've been in a similar situation and I know it's hard. I have an obsessive personality so it's tough going through times like this when your brain just won't let you focus on something else. But for now try to relax, take up a mindless hobby, keep yourself social. It sucks, sounds unappealing as fuck, and is really difficult to muster up the energy to do, but I think you'll find it'll make it a bit easier. I always had to push myself to hang out with friends or family, or even take a walk somewhere by myself, but reflecting back after I've always been glad I didn't use that time to stare at the wall and sulk.

>>58628
I do, but he's completely off the radar at the moment. I have no idea when I'll see him again, if ever at this rate. I feel foolish.

>>58643
My semester started so I'm just focusing on that, I'm actually in between classes right now. I'm trying to keep my head high.

After I graduate I want to live someplace more blatantly… well gay so I don't have to need to use plane tickets just in case something like this happens again.

>him
her. It's her, anon. Please.

How the hell do you get stood up like that?

>female tranny
and really what did you expect besides insanity?

>>58655
Say that to ones face, see what happens.

>>58659
Well, it happened to me, and badly. He knew of when I was coming, and well in advance. He never said anything to dissuade me from it or implied anything was wrong either, so I presumed it was a-ok to go over. We planned it since summer and he was saying how it wasn't enough time to spend together if anything.

>female tranny
>and really what did you expect besides insanity?

I'm going to get yelled at for falling for this. He did pass very well, mind you… but yeah, his being FTM puts a lot of past dynamics with us into perspective and I'm hoping this wasn't one huge gay guy fetishization thing that got out of hand – almost all FTMs I come across basically seem to just be obsessed with the yaoi bishounen types to the point of outright wanting to be them.

…I'm a long-haired college student who tries to take care of himself. He always called me gorgeous. I should have seen it coming. I was always happy to please him, although in retrospect the only body part of his I saw was his ass, which… yeah, I was a fool. Obviously you can't just demand nudes all the time or whatever either. (Then again that should have been one of the warning signs I suppose, a lot of cis gays are happy to whip it out. I know I was.)

I feel like shit. I really cared for him and adored him. And his being transgender wouldn't have been a problem for me, we would have made it work. I dunno. Like I said, I wish I could at least say goodbye.

>>58677
I really don't think it is healthy for you to be staying in contact with this person, but have you messaged them that last paragraph? Maybe it will give you a bit of the closure you need before you can move on.

Whatever you do, follow through with getting the hell out of Bumfuck Nowhere once you graduate. Do not be seduced by any job or any opportunities anywhere that doesn't have some sort of gay social scene. Being so isolated can drive you insane.

>>58646
why dont you just hookup with people at school? and not dating/having sex isn't the end of the world. having online relationships just seems sketch

>>58758
I know I was gooey and mushy earlier but I'm also coming to terms with the fact I don't expect to speak to him ever again, or if I do it's going to be a long time from now for obvious reasons – and it'll be moot. He hasn't shown up in days anyway, that's a lot of the point. And yeah, I plan to move to a more properly gay area ASAP. I hate to sound like a stereotype but I'm really afraid I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life at this rate.

>>58765
I'm in a small female majority school, lol. I went to the gay club on campus but when I went I was the only dude. Have a picture I took of it. The only other gay guy I know of on campus is engaged to another guy, so it's moot.

I stayed for that first meeting and it was themed around gender identity, which is a charming irony.

>and not dating/having sex isn't the end of the world.

I know, I know. I went a long time without it, I just got excited by the prospect I guess. Where the hell do all of these stereotypes of promiscuous gays who sleep around all the time come from? It baffles me.

I'll be fine, I'll be fine. This all just really sucked.

>>58823
I'm glad you'll be going somewhere else once you graduate. Gay deserts fucking suck. Remember: if you're an undergrad, make sure you find someplace with a gay scene if you decide to go to grad school–you can get through a few years of no dating/sex, but do you really want to subject yourself to almost a decade of that shit?

Sincerely, I do wish you the best. I'm sorry this relationship didn't work out.

So he came up and managed to speak to me again last night. I don't know how to feel, it was a bit unpleasant but mainly, uh, WEIRD above all else. I can talk about specifics if you all want.

tl;dr, he wants to keep in touch. He said he was incredibly sick, and was mostly sick throughout recent history. Alrighty, that was always a possibility. That was a large part of the risk factor, even I admit that. Having said that, he actually did seem to outright forget I was coming, which led to me presenting older exchanges between us about me coming over, and him flailing a bit when I, why lie, got pissed off about it. Acknowledged he was VERY bad at communication, although I also made him acknowledge I couldn't even call him on his phone when I made us try to call and text each other. (He said he was going to get a new phone.) He now wants to come visit me in America instead which I suppose is far less of a theoretical bad scenario than what happened with me coming over there.

He took a picture for me doing some specific random actions I asked just to make sure he was like, the real person I've been talking to all this time, so there's that, to his credit. It's him.

I dunno anymore. It's done. If he wants to visit me IRL, that's fine, I'm ok with that, it'll be on his dime and in my home country instead. Worst case scenario this go-round, presuming he actually makes the effort to come, is me waiting in an airport for part of the day, and I can drive back home if he's a no-show. But I'm preparing for life without him regardless. I got burned too badly and I lost a lot of luster for him. This is all… very much seeming like it was some sick fujoshit scenario that got out of hand at the last minute, which given how it lasted years is horrifying me and making me feel like the biggest fool in the world, although admittedly it seems like things were never as awkward back then as they do now.

Dude deflected questions on his gender, which I acknowledge is not PC to do here, but blegh.

We'll see what happens, but like I said, he's not high priority in my life anymore. I genuinely hate to sound so cold like that, I really do, but such is life. I gave him a HUGE chance and he blew it.

Oh yeah, skyped very briefly as well, but oddly it isn't helping any of my original accusations either, just strengthening them. This is all painful but… yeah.

>>60308
Doesn't sound like this guy is worth your time.
Why not plan a trip to somewhere with a bigger scene? You could spend some time going out and meeting people?

>>60312
Like I said, I plan to once I graduate. Hopefully… no more than later this year at the most, lol. I hope I didn't screw up my life too much but gay people are hard enough to find IRL, at least for me, and a lot of stereotypes of colleges being gay havens seem… overrated, but I'll spare those emo bullshit feels at the moment. (Especially since I have a different set of emo bullshit feels for the moment anyway.)

Thank you all dearly for your support, it meant a lot to me. I felt devastated about this but I'm getting over it.

>>60312
>plan a trip

Wait, misread, my bad. But I'll see about relocating permanently instead for obvious reasons. But either way, yes.

>>60314
You need to move to a bigger city. Out of my group of friends (8 of us) I'm the only straight girl. Is there maybe a larger city in your state?

>>60318
My home state is Delaware, so the answer to that is "lol no."

I'm in North Florida for college… I know, I know. And there are of course several larger cities but down south.

I'll see what I can do, I suppose. I am optimistic, truth be told, I'm so glad I'll finally be able to leave.

>>60318
If I may sound corny, where do you live, if I may ask? That sounds surreal the more I think about it.

>>60322
No you're fine. I live in Atlanta, which has a fairly large gay population. You should come to Atlanta for Pride, most of the people at very welcoming.

>>60323
Let me look into it. It's later in the year when I probably won't be so far south anymore but I'll see what I can do. It looks and sounds nice.

I am… really bad at being gay. Gah. I hope I'm not doomed.

>>60325
I think you being way to hard on yourself. Sometimes it just takes time finding people that you can trust and who will respect you.

I hope you can come it's really fun.

You're gay, just look for some popular place for gay hookups and keep your mouth open until someone puts his dick inside

>>58660
Isn't this actually a MTF?

>>60359
buck is FTM

>>60397
why is your anonymous name a different colour?

>>60403
lurk moar instead of asking newfag questions.