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No. 49895
Someone made one
>>49867 but I think this one is much better. Let's let the other one die.
No. 49951
>>49948Don't have BPD, but am a grad Psych student.
Generally, people seek therapy because they feel as if they cannot cope anymore with their symptoms and it is a big burden for them emotionally/physically/and or affecting their relationships/work.
BPD is rarely (by a good therapist) diagnosed off the bat. Personality disorders such as BPD are usually long-term diagnoses, meaning that the therapist normally cannot determine/confirm diagnoses until they have a decent amount of sessions in.
(There are exceptions, such as people being referred to a therapist who specializes in DBT).
Another issue that arises with the diagnoses of personality disorders such as BPD is that they have a high comorbidity rate with other mental issues such as depression, PTSD, anxiety, self-harm, eating disorders, and often are victims of domestic violence/sexual abuse/drug abuse (all of these can be things that
trigger other mental illnesses listed). It takes a little bit of time to unpack and determine if it is indeed BPD, rather than a comorbidity of other mental illnesses.
Does that help clarify anything?
No. 49969
>>49951>>49948Conversely - I have bpd, so I can share a bit about my symptoms and what led to my diagnosis.
It took years to actually receive that specific diagnosis for a lot of the reasons psych student anon stated. When I was 14, I was diagnosed with and medicated for depression, largely due to suicidal ideation, low self worth and anxiety. I saw psychiatrists on and off over the years with similar results, and I would always wind up eventually dropping treatment and meds because they never worked.
Last December (a decade after the original depression diagnosis) I started seeing an excellent psychiatrist who I felt like actually was interested in my wellbeing. At this point I had already started to exhibit other hallmarks of bpd - frantic reactions at abandonment, intense, INTENSE, moodswings, alternating depressive states. The biggest issues, and the ones that were destroying my relationship, was the self harm, suicidal ideation and the explosive, almost psychotic episodes of intense mood swings. I either felt rage, crippling despair, or emptiness. There was almost no in between at my lowest point, unless I was dissociating - and then I would make reckless decisions because I didn't care what happened, I was like an outsider looking in.
I hid all of this from my psychiatrist however. I was afraid she'd send me inpatient if she knew how bad the self harming and mood episodes were. Eventually my bf rightfully gave me the ultimatum that I had to tell her and get help, and she promptly diagnosed me after I told her everything that had been going on. She referred me to a therapist who studied and was certified in dialectical therapy under Marsha Linehan and it's been absolutely eye opening for me. (I actually use the work book in the OP.)
So yeah. It's been a lot of work so far and really hard to confront my shitty behavior, but the disorder itself is truly fascinating, I think, whether you have it or not.
No. 49973
>>49969Man, I have a similar path. Hid a lot of things too because I was afraid of being inpatient, but it got so bad that I wanted to end up there because I really wanted to die and was scared of what I might do. I'm suspected to have BPD but haven't received a diagnosis yet, just started therapy after having only taken medication for the depression/suicidal ideation. I'm a little put off by the fact that it takes so long to receive the diagnosis because I want to manage this shit already.
I also just received the mind over mood book yesterday. I just hope I can start the right treatment, with or without a diagnosis.
No. 49980
>>49977Do you go to school?
I wouldn't know how to find a good one, but the way I did it was first seeking help from a gp who referred me to a county program. My psychiatrist kind of sucked, but I had decent case workers. Going through the system fucking sucks.
I'm at uni now and have their insurance and go to their facilities and it's been pretty great there.
Getting healthy is a lot of work/trial and error, but it's so worth it to feel some relief.
No. 50280
>>50045Yes, American here, too.
My therapist was part of a family health services clinic providing free or reduced services to our local community–my state school had a contract with them so sessions were free for me. I eventually just started lying, saying that I felt better now, so I could stop going there. My therapist was really nice, but I wasn't getting anything out of our appointments but more stress.
My psych listened to my symptoms for about 10 minutes and prescribed me a medication that made me go from naturally sleeping 10 hours a day to sleeping 16+ hours a day along with making me woozy while I was awake, which was a major issue since I had school and work at the time and had to drive myself to both. After mentioning my symptoms to him he wanted to up my dose. Maybe this is normal, but I dropped him and the medication after that.
I know I need help, but my previous experience with professionals was just so completely unsatisfying and pointless. I felt like I was just talking to a wall with both of them and besides the meds it seemed like the only help they could offer me was a stay at our local mental health institution.
I'm just really discouraged right now and I'm not sure where to go from here.
No. 50640
>>50571BPD can be extremely draining to people around them so I understand these therapists well. Two of my friends have BPD (yeah I know how to pick them apparently) and they're both very difficult to deal with. One is better now due to therapy but the other one is the classbook example of someone with severe BPD. She does exactly this kind of shit, projecting everything into one person they either put on a pedestal or then hate for all their heart, often switching between these two states even multiple times a day. Threatening with suicide, yelling insults, blaming you for everything wrong with their life, destroying things, basically doing every bad thing in the books with no self control.
>>49969Yep, your symptoms sounds familiar. Being with someone with BPD finally drove me into severe depression since I started doubting myself and finally believing I'm just as shitty as they say and responsible for their problems.
No. 51656
>>50707it's possible with a lot of communication. you need to talk openly about the bpd and discuss how the symptoms typically manifest for the girl. whenever i have a breakdown and start exhibiting symptoms my best friend basically tells me "i know you're having an episode right now and i'm not upset with you but i'm going to leave so you can calm down because this is just the bpd acting out" and it works. someone with bpd is usually looking for something when their symptoms flare up. like reassurance or attention. if you can cut through all the weird roundabout things borderlines do to get what they want it'll be easier on both of you. reassurance is really important tho bc borderline people are often so sensitive they'll jump to conclusions based on the slightest shift in behaviour so you really do need to reassure them you're not going to be cruel to them and don't hate them etc.
don't be presumptuous though, you need to have talked about how the disorder manifests for her and come to an agreement together about how she's comfortable with you handling it. try to get her to think honestly about how and why and to what she reacts
i'm warning you though, should you ever end up in a serious relationship with a borderline girl and need to break up, break ups are… really hard for all involved. imagine your average bad break up multiplied by a thousand
No. 51800
>>49991Hello Anon, sorry for the absolutely late reply. It depends on where you are from. In some states, they will not commit you, unless they think you are going to kill yourself/someone/are going to endanger someone. Please check that information.
Psychology Today has a listing of Psychologists in your area. However, you want to find one that specializes in DBT (dialectic behavioral therapy). Generally, you want to look for someone with a PsyD or PhD in these cases.
Do you live in a small city?
If so, please keep in mind that you may need to drive farther too. Although most DBT programs require one session a week, sometimes two.
Also try googling "DBT therapist [your area]." There should be a few search engines.
Sorry if that was not helpful.
>>50282Possibly, however are you also working with a therapist one-on-one?
Pleas also be careful of what medication they put you on. Some medications can actually worsen symptoms, and are highly correlated to psychosis. So it is very important that your therapist and psychiatrist are keeping a close eye on you.
>>49969Congratulations on getting help and it's wonderful to hear that DBT has helped you become more insightful and is making a difference. Keep it up!
No. 51804
>>51800im
>>50282What kind of medication does that? i have tried one that was a methylphenidate that didnt work because at the end of the day i fel horrible and anxious. now im eating one that has lis-dix-amphetamine in it and it works pretty well since it lasts all day but i get very irritaded by it. i dont have a therapist ir psychiatrist since our health care system is falling apart (i live in sweden) but i have contact with one nurse and one doctor. i have asked to see a therapist but its a long waiting time. i might try to find a private one but im not sure i can afford it (its free if i go by the standard health care-system)
No. 51822
>>51804Usually methamphetamines (usually used to treat ADHD); I got this information from both the psychologist and psychiatrist that I am working with.
Make sure to check
http://www.drugs.com/drug_interactions.htmlSometimes doctors aren't up-to-date on drug interactions.
No. 53806
>>53798There is no pill for bpd. It's one of the reasons psychs don't like to treat it. To treat the depressive episodes/energy issues that accompany bpd you can try an antidepressant, but this has never worked for me. I'm on Topamax for the mood swings, which does help take the edge off, and lessens the frequency of my outburts, and although the side effects are pretty shitty, it's worth not feeling like a caged animal ready to lash out at the littlest thing, or collapse into despair. (The outbursts do still happen, however. But more every few weeks than every few days.)
But yeah, I've personally given up on antidepressants helping me at all. My therapist claims that once we're through the year of dialectical therapy I won't need medication anymore and I hope that's true.
No. 57363
>>50571My mother has BPD too and I recently broke off all contact with her. It's been rough because of the guilt, and I've been crying a lot, mourning the relationship we never had and never will have.
The realization that I had to make a break is when I realized there is not a single person in my life who's ever treated me with as much vitriol and malice as my mother.
That I was born is the reason her life was ruined, it's my fault she's fat, I've "always hated her!", I "wish she were dead", and a lot more stuff like this she's been slinging at my head since I was a toddler, when I really needed her. Because she would never be kind to me or hug me unless it was in front of people, I can't stand it when she touches me. Because she still has an obsession with seeing me naked, I feel the abuse was not just emotional and physical, but also sexual. I feel as if I have been raised as an orphan, with my physical needs (shelter, clothes, food) met to a certain extent, but have been a punching bag for a lunatic "carer" all my life.
And it doesn't end when you're eighteen and old enough to legally get away, there's pressure from all sides to keep up pretenses, because, after all, "she's your mother." She isn't. She's my monster.
Sorry for ranting, but my mother had the option to go to therapy several times, and refused. I guess my well-being wasn't worth it.
Those of you in therapy: I know it's going to be hard, but do it for yourself as well as the people who love you. Especially if you have kids or are planning on having kids, you cannot give up.
No. 64606
Does anyone else have a really difficult time trying to find a therapist?
The first one I had was ultra-cold, cruel, and not invested in anything I said or did. She pushed DBT and CBT on me (I was a teenager at the time) but never showed any sign of interest in me getting better. I eventually dropped her.
I got a new therapist who I honestly thought was really great, and I worked with for about two years. She never did CBT with me, and actually didn't think I was BPD when I shared my previous diagnosis with her. She instead just told me I was still trying to deal with the PTSD I had from recurring sexual abuse as a child, and that it was manifesting itself as anxiety, depression, insomnia, BDD, and self-harm.
However, she stopped answering my calls eventually. Stopped trying to schedule appointments. Gave up on me all together. And now.. i feel lost. I've had the shittiest six fucking years, and every year just gets worse and worse. And now I have no one else to turn to. I know I have BPD. It's not really even a question to me now, even though I realize it makes me a monster. But I'm so scared to seek help, because what if they reject me again? What if no one can or wants to treat me?
No. 64992
>>57393it's pretty well scientifically validated, to be honest, so I'm not sure what that means. Of all the Cluster B personality disorders, it has by far the most evidence backing it & the most coherent theories behind how it works.
The main issue is that it's frequently misdiagnosed and misunderstood. There's evidence of psychiatry folks both avoiding diagnosing actual people with BPD because of the stigma and misdiagnosing people who are hard to deal with with BPD.
It's a pretty complex disorder but most of it is based off of lacking normal emotional regulation mechanisms. There's a bunch of research that shows brain abnormalities similar to people with PTSD. It's kind of interesting (from my perspective) because people really underestimate how important / vital emotions are to being functional, and how many different periphery problems can show up when that system gets screwed up. It's ridiculously overzealous to try and claim that that is the magic bullet (although we know for certain that it's a key component), but still: nearly every symptom of BPD can be reasonably derived from that.
Generally though (and I do say this as kind of an outsider, my background is mostly neuroscience) I feel like the way the general medical establishment handles BPD is really depressing. There is so much misinformation about the disorder that makes an already difficult condition to treat essentially impossible to deal with. Things have gotten better, but it's still pretty bad. BPD isn't impossible to treat - and most people end up coping with it well after a decent period of time from being diagnosed - but if you treat it like it is, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
No. 86170
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Sorry for gravedigging, but does anyone else find it really hurtful how BPD is viewed here? That we should all drop dead, that none of us even want to seek help, that the world would be a better place without us. Even that there is no way other mental disorders could exist concurrently with personality disorders.
I understand, but at the same time, it really just solidifies in my mind the idea that I should kill myself right now instead of trying to get better. What's the point if people are always going to despise you no matter what.
I'm most likely being oversensitive, I know. I just wonder if anyone else struggles with stuff like this. The knowledge that people genuinely believe you are lying scum and would be better off not existing.
No. 86176
>>86174I suspect that my mother might have BPD and life with her has been a fucking terror. She is diagnosed with PTSD but i know for a fact now that the trauma she is diagnosed because of, is actually just a lie & never happened. I have tried thousands of tactics trying to deal with her, but I'm at a point now where I don't have an inch more to give and I just ignore her most of the time. I feel like I'm done mourning her, like she is dead already. She denies the possibilty of having anything wrong with her other than the PTSD, which again is a lie. I'm turning 26 now and need to build my own life. Sorry for not contributing anything, but all my respect to you for still putting up with yours. That must take a lot of effort.
As a sidenote, any tips on how to get her diagnosed/treated when she denies any and every problem she has?
No. 86195
>>86188Maybe she "just" remembered everything wrong, I have PTSD and I barely remember my trauma and I say something different every time. I'm "glad" my rape was recorded but it brings me to tears how the police at first didn't believe me and called me crazy. Man I mean maybe the trauma was the death of her father for her not the that he commited suicide. PTSD is some serious fucked up shit..
But maybe her PTSD is indeed not genuine. Have you told her about this?
No. 86196
>>86195I can confirm this, have no memory but the memory split upon different states so there are parts that remember but I don't.
still no excuse to act like a bad mother and anon has every right to be angry about her mother and how she behaved. having a bpd mother that isn't willing to get help can be traumatizing. borderline is an attachment disorder after all.
No. 86203
>>86196>tfw it hurt me so much when people called me a narcissistic liar just because I can't remember anything I bet they feel shitty now kek
But I have no experience with bpd mothers so I can't comment on the rest….but I wish anon and her mother good luck!
No. 86283
>>86176Bpd parent anon here, my mother also claimed abuse and trauma that I can definitely say is not true because I was there. (Claimed my father was abusive and shit in court and said she was fleeing for her life when she left home. Nope, I was there that night and slowly packed while constantly alluding to having had an affair because she decided my dad cheated on her. Again, nope.) At the same time, she refuses to acknowledge MY ptsd even though she visited me in the hospital because she's the source. (I even have extensive documentation of it from the military)
I tolerate her because of bullshit filial piety and because she has my sister (thankfully the golden child who can do no wrong.) I also have this shitty hope that one day she'll realize that the common denominator in all the bad relationships she's had is her and actually seek help.
No. 86333
>>86283Thank you. Other shitty mom anon here. I have a feeling the other anons "wishing I feel shitty now" are BPD themselves tbh.
>>86223Honestly, I'm not sure if you meant this ironically or not, but if you genuinely hope I feel like shit, then yes, congratulations. I do feel like shit, but not for venting about my absolutely psychotic bitch of a mother. I had to raise myself and my sister, and now that my sister finally got away from her aswell I'm experiencing serious signs of PTSD myself. I'm doing my absolute best, every single day to be everything my mother is not, and also to not react in fear every time I have to interact with people, because I've been screamed at and verbally abused my whole life. I often dream about who I could have been if i came from a home I could relax in. If you actually wish harm upon those who grew up with shitty parents, then frankly, go fuck yourself.
I'm finally in therapy now, and things are looking up, but I'm starting to get really angry at people with these types of personalities. I realize it's physical but god damn if i don't want to tell you all that the world doesn't fucking owe you constant coddling and reassurance, and especially with how you treat the people around you. You fuck us up. Jokes on me seeking some advice on the internet i guess.
No. 86361
>>86359She said this because
>>86333 thinks
>>86223 is talking about her (I think) while
>>86223 is talking about
>>86203>>86195 's experience.
No. 86367
>>86361You got it, but I'm just a trans nigger retarded worthless whore who should kill herself so, I mean, woops!
I got pretty upset, which is ridiculous, and I should have read the posts more thoroughly but the fact that all the bpd bitches here are loosing their shit is so amusing it got me right back on track! Thanks ladies!
No. 86405
>>86361you are correct, i'm
>>86223 and I meant 'they' in the people that told
>>86203 she were 'a narcisstic liar' should feel shitty now…