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No. 48711
>>48702It really is this way. I still see people parroting the "Christmas Cake" thing as if that's even a thing in Japan anymore. Perhaps to traditional types but people just aren't getting married or having kids as young anymore, partially because they don't want to and partially because it just isn't a reality. It's surprising to me to see so many young people think that they should have their shit together and starting a family by 25 just cuz when they are the ones living in this time and (hopefully) seeing what it's like.
>>48709Same here. I think I really grew into my appearance as I got older. It's funny now thinking that I thought I would have wrinkles and be haggard by 26 but I frankly look so much better than I ever did.
No. 48950
>>48949I'm in a similar boat but I'm 24 (25 in a month). I feel so goddamn immature, not in a bad babyish way, but I just don't feel 24 at all. I look at where my mom was at at my age and I'm completely blown away, and even she says I wouldn't have been able to handle it (she was married, had a 5 year old and they had just bought a house).
And then looking at my peers I have people who are just as lost as I am but doing the most destructive shit and others who seem to be so on top of things they're already making like 100k at 23. It's so jarring to see both extremes.
No. 48955
>>48948Very descriptive title haha
thanks anon, can't help you unfortunately
No. 49004
I'm 21 but I still feel like a teenager sometimes. Mostly because I'm still treated as one, since I like younger than I am. There's also the fact that I never had a job unlike many of people in collage, because unlike them, my family have no connection with people who could give me a job. And the fact that I'm too poor to move out of my parents' place. Meanwhile, people my age have a part time job, a car, their own flat, an SO, etc. I know it's thanks to their parents' money for some these things, but still, it makes me feel like an idiot sometimes.
No. 49008
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I remember being younger and making fun of older people who liked youthful things or dressed in a youthful style. Now that I am 28 and into the sweet lolita style, I realize that my interests/likes didn't change just because I am older. I was into super girly cute clothing and things when I was younger and now I still am. I'm slowly realizing that my age doesn't define me, my likes and interests. It's just a number to show how long I have been alive.
Right now BaddieWinkle inspires me, she is old but doesn't let age stop her from doing and wearing whatever she wants.
No. 49012
>>49008if you read interviews with baddiewinkle it's clear that her granddaughter is just manipulating her into this to get instagram likes and marketing dollars
not that she's a poor clueless victim or w/e, i'm sure she thinks the attention is funny and likes the money, but she really doesn't care about your millenial fashion trends and tumblr memes
No. 49150
>>49149Also, what also hurts is that I'm single (obv) and I feel like I have maybe ONE YEAR to get a LTR going. That leaves like 2 years of dating before marriage, then 1 year of marriage before having a kid at 27-28. I don't want any kids later than 30. But basically if any part of that fucks up, my life is a failure. I don't like to be dramatic but that is the truth. I can't afford to have cutesy short-term relationships and hookups (two things I've also never experienced, unfortunately) at this point.
The fun part of my life (16-21) has passed, I was too stupid and anxious to capitalize on it, and I have to constantly look towards settling down if I'm going to survive.
No. 49159
>>49150i'm 21 and i had my first "real" hookup this year. it's never too late! and i think they're pretty overrated imo
also you could stop going to cons and do actually fun things like music festivals. there are plenty of people your age there.
No. 49160
>>49150Anon you're only 22! I'm
>>48942 and like i said my life only started around 20 since I was always too anxious/autistic/immature and it got only better from there.
I met my SO when I was 26 and we're not planning on children untill 35 (if we even are getting kids)
Like
>>49153 said, it's a different world and your life has only just begun.
No. 49168
>>49149>>49150Honestly I felt similarly when I was like 20 partially because of media and partially because I grew up in a conservative area. I realized you cannot plan your life out life that or you'll be disappointed no matter what. If you live by the book like that you're going to be so caught up in everything going according to plan, you'll fail to focus on anything else and hate your life more because you haven't hit a certain milestone by 24 or not married by 26 or whatever.
What if you meet a perfect guy but he seems like he only wants a little summer fling so you ignore him, even if he could have been something more if you gave him a chance? What if you latch onto some dude you don't really love anymore after a year or so just because you wanted to get married and have kids? Romance is so convoluted and people often forget it takes two people–two paths to happen to cross at the same time. You can't plan that. You really have all the time in the world. I latched myself onto too many stupid guys thinking they were gonna be the one and not shockingly, they weren't. You can't control it. You can't control anything!
And before anyone gets onto me, I realize that people of all ages go to cons, but maybe you have outgrown them. I'm not saying go to a music festival (because they are fucking terrible) but I am sure there is something you can find with more people your age, even if it's a class or something. But realistically, you should focus on yourself, being happy with yourself, coming to terms with the fact that your life isn't what you planned, and being content to be alone as your own independent person. It's a lot easier for me to attract people (friends and romantic interests) when I am content with myself and my choices and feel accomplished and proud of myself. Your mileage may vary of course, but it's never a bad idea to face reality.
No. 49252
>>49186
>Never gone out with a big group of girlfriendsThere's a lot of complaining and inane conversation none of you really enjoy.
>Haven't found a super close group of friendsOne person who's a solid friend is infinitely better.
>Never gone to a real music festivalDouchebros, fat girls in crop tops, tumblr fashion, lots of standing in line, lots of being pushed by sweaty strangers, after 30 minutes every toilet is an unholy horror. Like imagine H.P Lovecraft's eldritch horrors but also covered in piss shit and vomit, rising out of a portapotty.
>idk a ton of stuff I can't think of right nowSo much of it is overhyped shit. Go for a hike, learn some sort of craft, and remember people's social media only shows the awesome five minutes of the stuff they do, not the hours leading up to it.
No. 49253
>>49244Go see a therapist, or find some free online CBT stuff. No procedure in the world will stop you from feeling ugly if that's what you believe you are.
If you get a bunch of surgery done, you absolutely will end up looking like some housewives of New Jersey monstrosity.
Figure out why you hate yourself so much, and learn how to stop. Looks are worth fuck all in the long run.
No. 49257
>>49244Nothing in the world right now can stop you from aging, it will happen to everyone. I do understand how you fell though, women do have a lot of pressure to look youthful even when they are old. You like Japanese fashion and will also be bombarded with their beauty standards, which is looking very young and childlike.
You say you love dressing up, do it, even if you look old. You are right, anti-aging procedures are expensive. You want to look young so you can keep dressing up but there would be no point if you no longer will be able to afford it. You also have to keep in mind that there may come a point in life where you can't afford those procedures anymore for some reason. All the signs of aging will come back and you may end up looking even worse. There is also a chance of muscle atrophy with long term botox use, then you will have a very saggy face that will need to be fixed.
These producers don't make you look young, it's all a lie. A few less wrinkles won't automatically make you look 18 again. I went with a friend of mine when she got fillers for the first time, in the end, she barely looked different. The doctor kept telling her how young she looks but I didn't see it. On her 4th trip, the doctor started talking about her double chin. It's genetic and she is thin but I never thought it made her look older. The doctor told her that she would look even younger if she got lipo, a $4000+ procedure. She is also a lolita, she is always complaining how she can't afford to buy dresses anymore. Now she is saving up for the lipo plus her next set of fillers.
Those doctors will say whatever to keep you coming back, then they will keep pointing out new things to fix. They will make you think that you will look 10+ years younger and you will be dumb enough to believe them.
Sorry that was long, just hope I got my point across. Please don't mess up your face, especially for a fashion.
No. 49266
>>49252Why can't I have a close friend AND a group of friends? Right now I have neither
I still really want to go to Bonnaroo/EDC/SXSW/whatevs lmao
What sort of craft do you think I should learn?
No. 49282
>>49266Man there's so much cool shit to do out there. Learn to make furniture or blankets or clothes.
Are you taking steps to meet new people and make friends?
No. 49333
>>49330Different anon, but there is no right way. Going to events is a good way to socialize and meet people.
Most of the interesting people I've met have been totally random, they've come up to me or we had some mutual small talk. Really, if there is a conversation which you have something relevant to input, try it.
You could make an ass of yourself, but who says you'll ever see those people again? Gotta take that chance. Though, easier said than done. Live in the moment, but stay safe.
No. 54896
>>49404It seems like the coolest people already have enough friends. Like, there are only so many hours in a day/week/month for socializing, once you factor in dating, job, cleaning house, looking after pets, own health etc. The type of people I'd like to hang with don't seem to have room for more friends because they get plenty of invitations already…
I had a friend that would only say "that's cool" or "Oh, ok" every time that I'd tell her something to do with my life. And it sucked. I felt like she wasn't really interested in me and it was too much work to keep the conversation going every single time. So I had to drop her as a friend. If this sounds like you, maybe you could work on that?
No. 54918
>>49404Do you think the 'down' energy you have about this is coming across to people? I had that issue, and people turned away - it's a natural thing we humans do. No blame: it just might be something you can lift from yourself by working on it.
saged for OT
No. 54936
>>54934Possibly they fixate on women rltheir own age who look like knackered hogs and a lot older than their age, so compared to these people think they themselves look younger.
I do this. Like I love when someone says they're my age but they like shit. I collect them in my mind so it makes me seem like a foetus compared to them. I blank out people my age who look as good as me (lozl) or better.
Could also be people telling them they look younger (to be nice when it's not really so).
No. 54949
>>54934Most women think they look young because they get carded. Most still believe that anyone who looks younger than 21 is carded when most places, you get carded if you look younger than 30+.
People also suck at guessing ages, like being short makes people think your younger. Most people will just also say a woman looks young to be nice, most women would be offended if people didn't think they look young. I know some women who freak out if they are called ma'am because they think it means they look old.