/ot/ - off-topic

I have played the victim in 3/5 of my relationships with guys. I cheat on them constantly/use them for money/what I want and when they eventually leave me (usually its very hard for them to, they think im perfect/love me too much) i act like they abused me instead.

I'm going to therapy now for this and in my current relationship havent done anything bad/even thought about it. I came from an abusive household and had a lot of issues back then. I was also un medicated. Now I even find myself wishing for my exes to be happy, even with someone else. Something I never knew I could feel. I never really understood what was wrong with me

A FWB got me pregnant and I told him the abortion was going to cost $200 more than it really did because I knew he wouldn't come with me to the appointment or do any research on the procedure and I wanted the money.

>>17461

girls like you are pretty gross, not the abortion thing but.. ugh

>>17460
>>17461
No, newfags. lolita secrets, aka behind the bows.

>>17460
what medication are you on for that?

>>17461
ha, good one

My boyfriend kept talking to his ex girlfriend even after i asked him to stop so one day i hacked all of his accounts and deleted them :c

>>17464
well it's not like the medication just suddenly makes you not do bad things

it's more so that the horrible feelings/thoughts that bring you to do those bad things go away so you are able to act like a normal person

I want to kill everyone on this site.

>>17466
Awwh. I know that feeling. My first boyfriend. I found he was talking to his ex on AIM and I flipped and deleted her and all their archived convos…Did not feel good. I shouldn't have snooped but I was 16 and utterly insecure because he was handsome and popular. Don't worry anon. Jealousy makes us do stupid shit. Just learn from it and try to explain.

I wish I had terminal cancer

>>17543
Got burned by this type of behavior when i was younger. I never deleted anything but i had a suspicion and struck gold so to speak two times with different bfs, one of which I had lived with for a couple of years. Anyway I started to see a pattern and stopped dating that kind of guys BUT as i did find something on the occasions I looked i now have an irrational fear of seeing shit I won't like and I'm basically paranoid. Bummer. I've worked hard on my trust issues though and i can honestly say I'm not suspicious of my dude today (this one is a keeper)
Since this is a secrets thread though I would like to get something off my chest. My bf (of two years, that i live with and trust) has an ex and she… Well I'm starting to think she has some real issues. They were in a long distance relationship, and he broke up with her almost 4 years ago, but she still can't let it go. She keeps in touch with his family (he's asked them to please respect that he doesn't want her in his life) and keeps tabs on everyone. Leaves comments on every photo people post on fb even the ones I'm in asking us to save some food for when shes coming over etc. idk it's getting old. Anyway she's a traveler and moved to the other side of the planet, was supposed to stay there for like 5 years but now suddenly she's in our city while knowing no one here and ugh. I wish I didn't care but I feel like i never get a moment without seeing her name/hearing about her. He's told her straight up that he wants her to move on and deleted her off his media but she got real angry and now she's here. I'm starting to feel a little creeped out tbh. Idk this isn't a secret per say but I don't want to create any drama in the family but sometimes I wish I could confront her and ask her to please move on.

>>17616
I know that feeling. I wouldn't want the long, expensive, drawn-out death of cancer, but I desperately want to be able to die early without having to kill myself. I'm so tired of life, but I don't want to be posthumously blamed for my own death and remembered as a being a shallow, selfish cunt (even if I really am…).

>>17671
Exactly. Instead of everyone talking about how selfish you are they would all pity you and buy you stuff, and then when you finally died you'd be remembered for your bravery. Perfect way to go

I'm fucking my now ex boyfriend and the guy I cheated on him with simultaneously without either of their knowledge. Both want some kind of relationship now but being single is 2good.

my ex boyfriend is now internet dating a 'girl' who i used to be friends with

I honestly think 'she' is a man because her voice is very forced sounding/she has sent me fake nudes of 'her body'

I feel like a failure because I'm still letting my ex bully me. This time throwing around accusations of how insensitive I was when he was going through personal issues (that I didn't know fully about; all I saw was him obsessing over a girl that got away from him and getting chummy with the next girl he was going to go out with.), and that made it ok for him to just ghost on me. Because I said I wanted more time, and was jealous of the attention that he was paying to both an old flame and a new "I swear she's just a friend" girl while pushing me aside. I think he might be a psychopath, and his relationships to tend to follow the "put on pedestal/devalue/discard" pattern like a narcissist's, and usually I can let all his bullshit roll off me (his big thing is bragging about every new girlfriend in a place where I can see, taking her out and showing her off in all the places I go, etc.) but this time it just got to me too much. He was bragging loudly about his plans to move to the city I live in with a girl he started going out with like last Thursday, after a month ago still trying to garner sympathy for tracking down and finding out what the girl who disappeared has been up to. How sad it was that she just left without explanation, and started going out with a new boyfriend less than a month later. He did the same to me, although I think he was already going out with the new girl before he ghosted. He apologised about what he had done to me a few months ago, and I just told him that's fine but please leave me alone. It turns out he didn't mean it. It turns out he just wanted repentance from me. "Unrepentant". That was the word he used to describe my response. A really powerful one, because he has to be in power I guess. Because I'm supposed to be sorry that I wasn't sensitive about a situation in his life that I didn't even know about, because he refused to talk about it with me. I should be sorry that I got jealous about all the effort he was putting into getting contact with the girl who got away, at same time trying to court a new girl. I am supposed to be sorry about all that.
And for a minute, I thought yeah, maybe he's right, maybe I am a terrible human being who only cares about myself. And I had to call my partner late at night and have him reassure me, and felt really guilty about that after. I should just be happy with who I've got looking after me now, and not let some asshole from the past pick open every scab before they've had a chance to heal properly, cos I'm gonna like bleed out if I let him do that. And that's what he wants. And I don't get why me.
I'm happy that I'm no longer with him, and that he's someone else's problem, because he's got more issues than vogue, but at the same time I'm sad because I let him play me like that. I feel like a doll that belongs to some really bratty kid, and I just want him to stop tormenting me.

Whenever my bf makes a female friend I do all I can to try and scare her off because I don't trust them talking to him. I get very hostile around them…I once sent his ex a tl;dr tumblr ask asking her to back off because I got tired of her texting him even though he would ignore her texts. I was just so infuriated with her contacting him and just fucking being the bane of his life.

>>19356
damn bitch, you sound like a teenager
dont worry, im in the same boat as you.i always get paranoid when bf would find new female friends and I'd often speak my mind about it,but, im currently learning how to just keep it to myself. so far its good.

>>19356
>>19372
You both sound immature as fuck.

It's okay to feel bad about it and inform your SO, but it's not okay to act like a possessive cunt and throw tantrums whenever there's a vagina in a 10 mile radius.

>Hey boyfriend, I'd like to confess something: I feel uncomfortable with Vagina around. I'm not telling you to back off of her or anything, just please keep my feelings in mind.

If he's a decent boyfriend he'll comfort you and assure you everything is okay or calmly explain the situation.

If he's a scrote he'll probably say something along the lines of 'LOL tough shit' or get violently defensive/behave inappropriately in some other way.

>>19373

I keep telling my SO about it but he's failed to do much about it, he says I'll be alright, but it's not him I distrust. It is the girl I do not trust. I hate it but I just feel anxious and jumpy about it. It's probably my shitty past of coming into a chatroom where my ex cheated on me..bonus points it was on christmas eve and my parents walked in thinking I was fucking crazy when I yelled at him over the phone.

>>19448
If you trust your boyfriend, you can trust him not to pull anything with her no matter how hard she tries.

Do you really trust him?

>>19448
Remember that nobody can "steal" anyone else's SO. Your SO can only be taken from you if he wants to be. In which case, you should be thanking that bitch for showing you sooner rather than later what a pos your boyfriend is.

>>19453

I brought it up with him again, and he actually listened and understood my stance, and was nice about it. I'm pleasantly surprised.

>>19373
Jealousy is a healthy human reaction, it shows that you care.

>>19623
Its okay to be jealous but how you deal with is what causes most of the problems

>>19623
I said it's okay. I even said it's okay to tell your SO about it so long as you don't chimp out and wish death upon every female in close proximity of your boyfriend.