File: 1669637694015.jpg (56.39 KB, 800x533, black-girl-embracing-comfortin…)
File: 1670844568117.png (283.8 KB, 393x533, B4CC935E-7636-4315-8152-212AF1…)
My oldest friend said to me in a FaceTime months ago that “once she sorts out her mental health” she’s going to transition. She knows my TERF status so was definitely expecting a reaction from me, but I said nothing. I definitely couldn’t fake it and say “go for it”, or “I support you”. I didn’t want her to completely cut me off and get angry if I said that she shouldn’t do it. The only thing that felt right was to say nothing. We hardly speak now. She was my rock when I was 12 and terminally online with no friends. I always looked up to her in a big sister way and growing up together, seeing her mental health decline, has been really difficult. She’s had a lot of trauma with men, lots of family drama and she told me she got into bad crowds and started doing hard drugs. She was on drugs the night she told me she wanted to transition, I could tell. I think she was on molly, which she used to be addicted to. She also told me that she’s going to get her breasts cut off and her insurance will pay for it. I just hate how this cult devours people already struggling with mental health issues and addictions. All I can do is hope she doesn’t go through with it. I’m scared to tell her how I really feel because sometimes it makes the person entrapped in the cult double down in stubbornness, and if I get cut off from them I’ll be powerless to do anything anyway.
If you care, try to save her by telling her it's a bad idea. She might get mad and never talk to you again, but if you don't you lose her to the trans cult anyway. >>6900
Ask her why not following sexist stereotypes makes her less female, or even not female at all. And why she thinks being less/not a female is better.
I lost my bestie about two years ago to trans ideology. We were both terf-y, myself detrans. I could type paragraphs but I'll spare the ramble. It has been rough to grieve, even today. I feel mad, hurt, betrayed, worried, sad, concerned, lonely. I feel ill as I watch those around us support her, I tried so hard to help her and ended up discarded in the most hateful way. I lost my entire friend group as she waited months to tell me her new name/pronouns after everyone else already knew- effectively making me out to be misgendering her the entire time. I was told my history meant I was stupid and didn't know my own gender. I had kept my phone on my side 24/7 for her, I fed her, I gave her good chunks of my income to support her, drove her, cleaned for her, helped her with her hobbies and was told I was never there for her. I know she was manipulating me now but it still hurts, I tried so hard to help her. She has gotten worse & struggled more since, I fear for her. Even with all the hurt she caused I hate to see her heading down what is such a doomed future at the pace she is. I've spent many days, therapy sessions, grieving her and our friendship but I don't think I'll ever get over it. I can never speak to her again but man do I have a lot I would say. I haven't seen her in person since but I know one day it'll happen. I don't think I'm ready to see what she's done to herself. We were so close and friends for years… I wonder what she thinks of all this.
Are you a moid? Only males think the father is the most important figure in a child's life and can determine its whole future.
The majority of fathers are completely uninvolved in the child's life they don't even know basic info about them like who is their doctor or what their grade is. If anything fathers ruin children because they often molest them and beat them. Males are completely worthless parasitic beings and everyone is better off without them in their lives.
my baby sister. but she's coming back around slowly I think. I will never forgive my parents for comparing us growing up. I'm much older than her (9 years), and they would use me as a model for her to mimic which was just inhumane. I wasn't aware of the extent since I went to college already when she was only 9 years old. She also dealt with body image issues, and was a little chubby in her middle school years. She started dying her hair in high school and I noticed "they/them" in her instagram bio last year.
I took her out on a girl's vaca/trip not too long ago to just talk these things out without attacking her or anything, but after really thinking about what my parents did to her, I can see why she fell into the troon movement because she essentially was made to think she "failed" at being a girl. She rationalized that she can't beI know a lot of people are going to get mad at me for saying this, since it does funnel back into male centered beauty standards, but I did take her out to get her hair/makeup done just to make her feel a bit better. It doesn't get to the root of the problem, but sometimes interim solutions are helpful. She was beaming, she felt so cute. I've been checking her instagram and I noticed the pronouns are gone so I'm going to say it's a step in the right direction. But she also wasn't very responsive when I asked questions like "how do you not feel like a girl? what does feeling like a girl feel like?"
I want her to be in my life for a long time, but i can't bare to imagine if she transitions. >>6882
I have been noticing that so many of the girls that got into this movement are youngest children or at least the youngest daughter. Something to really think about. Talk to her, as it awkward as it is, it's never too late. I wish you luck.
I lost two middle school BFFs who became TIFs (FTM and NB). The FTM one is way deeper into transition, she began using male name and I don’t know if she changed it legally but last time I looked her up, she even uses a different male name than when I knew her.
The second one probably doesn’t post much about being a TIF anymore and she got some normie boyfriend but became very irritating anyway. Even though they were both important to me, I finally realized parting with them was better for me.
There’s some distant family member, a girl whom I never met. She’s a teenager and I knew her family lived in Ireland, can’t remember if they’re still are there. I heard from someone else she’s becoming a TIF and wants mastectomy.
Thanks anon but he won't speak to me anymore. Him being gay was never a secret or even a problem. I asked him to explain so I could understand, but he was so patronising and aggressive, talking down to me like I didn't know anything about being a woman. His personality changed for the worst so suddenly. After that his hostility got worse and worse and he left one day simply because of a trivial argument about unrelated things. His school counsellor got him a social worker and a place to live with other teenagers and said that privacy laws mean I have no right to know where he is. I can't even tell anyone for the shame of it so every time they ask after him I make something up.
I can only hope that he doesn't go any further. I probably should just stop reading about this stuff because there's not anything I can do anymore and imagining the worst isn't helpful. I knew I was mediocre as a parent but I never imagined I'd fail this badly. I was too young and everything was left up to me and I choked.
Stop being around these people. Simple solution.
There are women out there who are normal and have normal friendship groups, stop pushing yourself to do this because of nostalgia.
My childhood friend and first girlfriend, and I feel responsible because I introduced her to the LGBT sphere when we were 11, both "in love" with each other but haven't yet realised. It was just a childish crush. I was the first one who fully outed myself as a lesbian and she soon followed, then she asked me out and we were girlfriends for a few years. Then puberty hit and she got really into all the gender bullshit. She broke up with me because she started really considering transition as she told me years later, but it was probably also because I never truly treated her like a girlfriend, more like a friend because I was too shy to show affection. I reached out to her recently, asked how she's doing now. And suprise suprise, she's fully trans. I shouldn't feel guilty, but I believe that if I hadn't exposed her to the gay gender cult when we were kids she might've never even considered transitioning.
My second girlfriend turned tranny was my highschool best friend for two years, and my reason for peaking. So I guess I should thank her, in a way. She mentally deteriorated because of her poor family situation. A really crazy bpd type, twitterfag with self diagnosed adhd and autism. She is trans/nonbinary now. On twitter asks people to refer to her in angel/angelself pronouns and talks about autismgender(?). Me and my friend cut all contact with her. She's a druggie art student now.
File: 1673282570882.png (358.2 KB, 900x406, Screenshot_9.png)
women in my nerdy internet hobby aren't exactly trooning out but they are guzzling the gendie kool-aid; the avalanche slide from she/her to she/they to "any pronouns! uwu!" or like… she/he is something is frustrating to watch. i know that doesn't mean they're trans and i'm fairly certain it's to be trendy and fit in with their friends but god it pisses me off so bad. especially when they're called a woman & they go "ummm i'm not a woman though tehe? i'm she/he look at my pronoun roles"
A girl I went to college with trooned out about 7 years ago. She was always out as a lesbian, and I might've been guilty to gaybaiting her sometimes when I drank too much, but I don't know, I guess I got flirty with anyone who would allow me. This was ten years ago and I was younger. Anyway, she was always so sweet and shy and could take a good joke and be silly when needed. I didn't know her super well, I can only recall as many times on one hand hanging out together, but I guess she felt close enough to me to tell me she was molested when she was younger. I had never had anyone admit anything like that to me so I just felt so bad for her. She ended up moving away across the country, I still had her as a Facebook friend and then I saw her start heading down the pipeline. About three years later she came back to town for an anime convention and she visited me at my booth. She seemed like a completely different person, so loud and annoying. I'd never seen her like that before. She seemed like she couldn't even keep up with a normal conversation, she was just blasting words into the air. It was really strange, because she used to be so much more reserved. I initially wrote it off as maybe she gained some confidence, but now, years later I think she's just going full speed ahead in her own delusions. It's been around 7 years since she started transitioning, she cut off her boobs, her hair is gone and she has the worst pubey sliver of manbeard I've ever seen. I haven't really spoken to her deeply in years but she just used to be so cute and kind and I'm just so sad seeing what she's become.
I would have given her a piece of my mind about her backwards dumbass sexist internalized misogyny.You can't start shit and expect to be coddled lmao
Or I would troll her by having literally everyone else in the group copy her and come out as an obnoxious enby at the same time, copying her words and mannerisms to the best of your abilities kek it would be so funny
I think my ex-best friend’s boyfriend is going to troon out. Our friendship fizzled out because I was in love with her and she was kind of open to it, but it had to include the moid. I tried, but I was just sort of repulsed by him and my attraction to her didn’t supersede that. She did me a little dirty and we’re not in each other’s lives anymore, but we still have each other on social media and I still care about her.
I think he’s going to troon because:
1) he already goes by they/them, and wants his parents to seriously respect his ~non-binary identity~ even though he’s almost 30
2) thinks he’s not unmistakably male despite being 6’5” and 250+ pounds
3) he’s really sensitive and he doesn’t get along with other men easily, which is the biggest reason I think he’s going to troon. He’s autistic, and there’s just some sort of disconnect with him and other males and he prefers to hang out with women. When we’ve been drunk together he used to talk about that he’s been jealous of female friendships and his girlfriend is definitely a girl’s girl.
Ironically, he used to bully a socially awkward girl, who didn’t have her own close female friendships, he was roommates with lmao.
4) he just quit his job that was a 100% male staff (where he hired a troon and thought that was diversity) because the guys wouldn’t respect his authority. It was a really good job in a niche creative field and now he’s unemployed.
5) he’s susceptible to social contagion and now he’s posting artwork he’s drawn of men in high heels
Will report back if he actually troons out. On one hand I’ll feel bad for ex-best friend, but on the other hand, I hope it gives her the kick in the ass to get out of this co-dependent relationship that’s holding her back
File: 1682601144270.png (65.86 KB, 1310x452, cd.png)
nonas here make the mistake of thinking that agp is something you develop from watching too much porn, which is why you end up confused as to why normies who have it all transition. The truth is agp can happen to any type of male, and they usually have it from a very young age. Basically if a male thinks the idea of having a vagina and breasts is intensely sexually arousing, even if they only develop this fetish later, they are very likely to develop dysphoria and want to get the chop. Your classmate likely fantasized about being sissy feminized behind closed doors for years.
A normal looking guy I followed on Tumblr suddenly came out as trans and had a vtuber avatar with enormous boobs. He used to use a female name for some of his works so I wasn't too surprised. But it's always a shock to find out some guy you thought was normal had intense sexual fantasies of becoming a woman and having giant tits.
If you want to learn more about agp and spot the warning signs, I really recommend 'Men trapped in men's bodies' by Anne Lawrence, self-confessed agp. It's the master tome on agp and transbians. Thanks to it I've got a prediction pool going on on when one of my friends will go the way of the catears. picrel
The part that confuses me about AGP is why they want their fetish to be public and be their whole identity
Like, regardless of how they got the fetish for becoming a woman with giant boobs, why do they decide that the world needs to know about it? What compels them to roleplay their fetish at their boring office job?
Ntayrt, but it feels addictively good. Many are also unable to have sex or orgasm without AGP fantasies, so they develop gender dysphoria along with the fetish. Men do all kinds of disgustingly obsessed shit for their fetishes, like pedophiles becoming teachers or pastors to easily abuse children. This is along the same lines.
AGP men also are unconscious of, deny, and/or delude themselves into thinking it's not sexual and that they're really a woman inside (this is mentioned in The Man Who Would Be Queen). The current state of the trans movement calling AGP and Blanchard's work bigoted enables the latter. Michael Bailey faced so much shit from TRAs for his work.
I'm sorry that happened to you… To be honest, if she lashed out at you in such way when you were supposed to be best friends and she is also going around shittalking you to other friends, you may have avoided a bullet right there. Even if she doesn't support radfem/gender critical views, a true friend that appreciates you would have tried to understand you or reach a common ground.
Again, I'm sorry that happened to you. Hope her shittalking doesn't affect your social life too much and your other friends have half a brain to understand that not everyone must have the same ideologies/views in order to hang out and be friends.
Ew that's so gross of her. Hope you were able to tell your mutual friends that you were simply uncomfortable so she isn't spreading lies about what you actually said like the typically do.
Do you know the troons social media accounts? You could check for degeneracy content in accounts they follow or posts they've liked as "proof" to why you were uncomfortable in the first place. It's likely he has secret accounts for it, but he may have slipped up and follow degenerate troon friends who aren't so careful and you can find more from there. Kind of like how we know Lia Thomas has a wall full of degenerate sex toys and saved his cut off balls in a jar because his also TIM boyfriend posted pics of it.>>14854
Even though it's retarded people are scared of the word "feminist" so you might do better if you use other words or have a more specific goal (helping victims
of domestic violence, victims
of the gender cult, sexism).
Ok so I feel I just lost one of my friends, almost literally.
Let me explain: we are a group of friends, who all live in the countryside in small nation in europe (this will come back in a minute), we all came together because we used to go in the same highschool and we were all weird, videogames, anime and such. We've been all friends since the first year of highschool, so since we were around 14-15. We grew up together, we did a lot of things together and we shared a lot of ideas and hobbies. This friend in particular, let's call him Kyle, never and believe me, never showed dysphoria nor he was even interested in this shit. He wasn't the most masculine looking guy but our group is almost all made of gnc men (we range from men wearing classic goth and makeup to more catwalk fashionista ones) and gnc girls, as well other "normal" people. This thing to us was never a problem and was never a matter of gender brainrot and Kyle wasn't even the most gnc, he barely had grew his hair past the shoulders.
Covid came and I sniffed somethig but Kyle was the type to have "phases" so I let him go. He had his dj phase, his digital artist phase, his cosplayer phase…whatever. He started getting interested in makeup, sure no problem, as I said we have men who wear makeup because they like it or to hide some skin discoloration, it's fine. The pandemic kept us away for 3-4 months, locking us in our home. Kyle was the only neet among us, so he didn't have anything to do, but he started getting more nervous in the group chat…okay? We let him go, we were all nervous and unsure about what to do. By the time we finish our education, we got a job and I went out of the country for some months and my other friends were either busy with work, moving out, high education grade and such, Kyle stayed home.
I came back, Kyle starts telling me he doesn't feel right. What do you mean, I ask. I don't like my body, he replies. Keep in mind, he never expressed such discomfort and he's 25 by now. I was born in the wrong body, blablabla. Whatever Kyle, get urself a psychologist, since in our country gender shit didn't arrive (yet) we thought that was something in the same pool as eating disorders, because our country doesn't have the gendie education nor gender is important here, it was always something like "be yourself, never hurt anyone, mind your business". Nope, it's gender. He wants to wear makeup and womens clothing and don't feel weird about having a male body. Ok? I mean, weird? Why are you doing this? Next to you we have our friend Nate who gets mistaken as a girl regularly because he has soft features and wears goth attire and he doesn't care about that, he's still male.
"Nono, I want to change, I want to be a woman because I always felt weird as a man."
Sounds sudden but ok. We believed this was another phase. Until this phase was getting longer and longer. He started to control our speech and mannerism and he wanted us to consider his "triggers". I feel like I'm writing some super stereotypical novel but I'm not shitting you and this has become a surprise for a lot of us. I started getting informed online, about all of this gender shit and my heart sank but what can I do? Talk to the others who already expressed support and potentially cut them off of my life because they will call me a bigot just because I feel that getting a life changing treatment is dangerous? And that condoning circlejerk mentality is bad? In all of these years, we had our fights, our cries, our help needs, we always supported each other but also called out each other if things were wrong (I remember calling out one of my friends who started to do drugs due to the loss of his mother, we helped him getting back on his feet) but everyone started to almost ass kissing Kyle…weird?
I go back to do another period working outside the country, I fly and I fly back, Kyle gets a remote job for a banking company, I think that would distract him from this shit, nope. On my last fly back, we all decide to go out for dinner and…who's this guy…?
Kyle grew out his hair (he stopped posting selfie in the group chat) and started wearing skirts and heavy make up. His expression changed, his eyes look tired and dead. Okay ahah what do I do now?
He goes by she/her now.
The night goes smoothly, until one of us says "retard" and Kyle goes "don't say that, it's offensive."
"Kyle, what's wrong with you? You know there's a difference in between me calling myself a retard and me going around kicking actual retards(for examples downies)?"
"I don't like that word."
"You've been saying this since the last month."
"I know but then I realized it was bad."
At almost 30 you realize that that's a bad word?? No shit?
I remember Kyle throwing a hissy fit last night, telling us we don't support him (not true) that we don't respect him and his triggers (apparently somebody called him a retard in middle school), and we give him bad looks just because he dresses like a woman but we don't look at Nate at the same way despite Nate wearing women clothes. I think he's a retard because he doesn't realize that Nate has always been gnc but most importantly we don't walk on eggshells around him, Nate doesn't fucking care if we call him a retard or a "he". Nate and Kyle got into a fight, were Kyle calls Nate a larper faggot (despite him being in a relationship with a woman for years by now) and the group "breaks" because no one can't stand anymore Kyle's fits.
Kyle now has new friends, all in the lgb+t spectrum and I believe he 's smearing us online (we've seen receipts).
And I'm devastated. The friend I knew since the first year of highschool died. I look at old pictures and my brain knows he's the same person but I can't recognize him. I can't link the person in the pictures with the current one. I can't link his old voice with his new one. I can't look at our group pictures because I can name all of us except Kyle. "Kyle" is dead. One of us died in the second-to-last year of highschool so I know that feeling and that is weirdly similar. When we talk about Kyle, we refer to the old Kyle, the new one despite being all the past memories, his face and mannerism, is not…he's not Kyle but he is! It's eating my brain! This is not a phase you can't just grow out of, because you can't rever the hrt effects, you can't go back and fix the feelings of the people you've hurt with a snap of your fingers…this shit stays.
Don't tell me to ignore him, cut him off, block him, he already did that shit all by himself. I'm angry at him, sure am, because he's still smearing us one year later and telling everyone we're transphobes but a part of me is terribly sad…I lost a friend who I used to laugh a lot with and I lost him because he made his whole personality an american cult…I feel like those people who lose a family member to religious cult…He died…A friend I used to love so much died but his body still walks as if he's being possessed, it's weird and deeply unsettling. Sorry for the long post nonas, sometimes I hurt really bad but I can't express this anywhere…
I interpreted that as "the majority of the people in the group were male", not that the anon was one of them. "We" as in "we, as a group, have different types of men". I don't know if I make sense.
For me, the wording and expressions used didn't scream male, tbh, but I'm ESL as well, so I could be wrong, kek.
Why do you think I'm a moid, just because I grew up in a european country with a focus on fashion to the point people naturally adopt it, no matter if it's masculine or feminine leaning? Do you realize that the world doesn't revolve around Americanized views? In Europe this shit is not that strict.
I just have moid friends, I highlighted them because the situation happened to them. We also have masculine girls, what is your point? If we had TIF friends, the convo would be about TIFs, don't you think? What I meant is that, in our group, the men are all almost gnc, not that they're all men. We're made of equally men and women. Sorry if that wasn't clear, as I said english is not my first language so I tend to construct phrases like my native one. Do I really need to specify this, it was in the second sentence….
I can talk to my mum about since she was the one who told me. Her and my aunt had a big falling out over my cousin because my mum has been a TERF
Advice needed, nonas. A guy that I’m seeing is starting to talk about being non-binary. When my longest relationship ended I managed to barely escape being a transwidow, which made me wary of potential gender-special males. The current guy in question is an exception. (I posted this in a vent thread, but I should've posted it here. Apologies)
Alas, I can't help but feel for him because he's been through a lot of trauma, coming from a very conservative country with a fucked up family (actual trauma, not snowflake from a 1st world country BS). I’ve always been attracted to androgynous and GNC people; that’s what made me attracted to him in the first place. Why can’t men just be pretty men anymore? God, how I miss the days when men sported long hair and eyeliner without being ensnared by the spinny skirt quicksand.
I'm crypto, and wonder if there's any way to gently and slowly but surely make him spit out the troon pill? I think that trying to peak him with TRA atrocities/activities will sound off alarms in his head. I think the safer route consists of more obvious and palatable ideas, like showing him that being sensitive and experimenting with fashion and makeup (or lack of) doesn’t make anyone less of a man or a woman. That creating a billion more labels is just giving into and furthermore upholding gender norms; it’s far more ~stunning and brave~ to stand your ground as a man that simply enjoys self-expression; anyone can do anything; etc. We're still very young (20), so I try to hold onto hope. Any suggestions? Similar experiences or success stories? Appreciate you all.
It’s hard nonna, especially if he’s in TRA circles. Ultimately, you have to come with terms that there’s a possibility you won’t be able to change his mind or break him out of it. And you have to think, do you want to spend so much time and effort trying to do so, potentially hurting your own heart and feeling disappointed and betrayed when he doesn’t change his mind? All you can really do is tell someone what you think and it’s up to them to decide what to do with it.
But if it’s only a social contagion, that will be easier than if he has physical dysphoria symptoms or deep body hatred. I agree that what you are saying is a safer route and is something people should be aware of anyway. You could maybe try to show him feminine/sensitive men that he could look up to and celebrate men who do that. Say that you admire men who break the mold and are confident despite patriarchy or society trying to turn them into macho creeps. Look for gender nonconforming men in arts/music/fashion. Definitely emphasize that people who aren’t afraid to be themselves but are still proud of their sex despite what society tells them are really cool and admirable.
Since you say he has a lot of trauma and comes from a conservative background, he probably has very rigid and painful associations with what a man should be. My brother has also recently said something about being non-binary or rather “just not a man” and he specifically referenced our father being a violent alcoholic and how he doesn’t know how to be a man because that’s the only image of a man he has. He also has a bunch of online autistic male friends that trooned out and have DID or whatever bullshit, so I know he’s been absorbing that shit from them. I told him point blank to his face he was being retarded and I told him how that was just gender roles and there’s so many other kinds of men to look up to, and I referenced my own ex-enby past for why I thought it was dumb lol. I have no idea if it got through to him and my brother is deep in other retarded endeavors that he needs a lot of therapy to get out of, so I’m sorry I can’t tell you if it was successful or not. But I do think the guy you’re seeing is probably similar in that regard, that he doesn’t want to be like the violent men who have hurt him so he wants to escape that image of manhood.
If you recommend therapy, see if you can find some that aren’t affirming because a lot of modern therapists will push him down the pipeline and closer towards trooning. I know there’s a network of non affirming therapists but I can’t remember the name right now. Maybe genspect? Detrans communities might be able to give you some suggestions.
You are still very young nonnie
, and I think it’s important to remember that you have your whole life and a plethora of other potential relationships ahead of you. You can tell this man gently what you think, try to point him towards gnc/sensitive/feminine male role models, support him through his trauma but ultimately, you are only ever in control of your own actions and thoughts. You can never force someone to change their mind. And especially in terms of peaking someone involved with the trans community and leaning into a trans identity. I was “non-binary” for ten years and it took me 3 years of that to come to terms with wanting to detransition and admit that I was seeing so much wrong around me, that I had never agreed with or that had always made me uncomfortable. But I was scared of facing myself and my thoughts because I was scared of what it might mean about me, all the trauma I’d have to work through, and if other people would judge me. I’m crypto now and I also struggle with finding ways to speak out against the trans community. If he’s going to peak, it will be done on his own terms. So rather than think deeply about if you can change him, think deeply about how much time and effort you want to invest in him and the potential pain it could cause you and if you’re willing to let him go. Put yourself first nonnie
, and good luck.
Venting here finally after a year of lurking: so many friends and acquaintances of mine have trooned out. I have put some distance between me and them, but still cryptoing around because I noticed that I have very hard time detaching myself from the circles completely. If I did so, I'd fall very hard into depression because I am, after all, a social animal too and I don't know when I'd finally get myself out from such slump if not at all. Sucks a lot to have grown to work in creative fields that have been bombarded with genderspecial cult plague. If I could turn myself into some stereotypical normie marketing or finances person or something, and start everything anew, I'd gladly do so, but I'm afraid that my brain cannot do the plasticity magic fast enough for such in time of the life I still have left in this world. So what am I left with besides waiting for this madness to pass at some point? Sit and watch my friends and acquaintances who inject their bodies with wrong hormones and wait to see how their bodies look feeling worse every another year, how they are mentally feeling worse after the initial "trans joy" time despite continuing to repeat the mantras. Tq movement really wrecks up the people. I'm quite wary of men and the only man I've been comfortable around with, he had such soft kindness that I admired for him having, and then he ended up identifying as nonbinary and now walks around wearing the most hideous clothing combinations with very bright hair. I have decided to see it as tragicomic just to hold my sanity because otherwise I'd cry for him also having fallen to escape the manhood as gnc every time I see him now. With TIFs they clearly have wanted to escape the view they have on womanhood as well, and most of the transitioned ones have come from very conservative, sexist, abusive and even religious cult conditions. I'm so sorry the world around you let you down, didn't let you be gnc safely and proudly, and made you hate the body and sex you were born into.
I could say that for the ones using hormones it feels like watching a very slowly but surely happening train wreck, but perhaps more like seeing a cancer patient and mentally readying myself for the worst case scenario of it. I feel so sad for them. Some of the TIFs I know have been so fun and nice people with whom I have loved to spend time with and I'd wish I could continue to do so (apart the tq shit they spout at times, I'm so tired and disappointed whenever that happens), but also so many of them have distanced themselves of me by now because I never followed them with my dreamt nonbinary transitioning aka tit cutting and small amount of testos for lower voice (LOL), meaning I turned out to be the boring "cis normie" after all. They are so focused on their transness and hanging out with the other "cool" trans, nb, and queer poly people. I think it's not just sad, but also disappointing, frustrating and awful in all its messy idioticy. I really wish I could detach myself, but they are such integrated part of the circles I live in, I have to eat my need to scream of grief and just crypto. At least thank lolcow for existing, even if I don't really have the courage to interact here.
Welcome anon, feel free to keep lurking. Maybe instead of leaving those friends you can make other new friends that aren't as into the trans thing? Or even talk to your family about it, I peaked my mom and it's been nice venting to her.
The trans trend won't last forever, these people will eventaully get tired of it even if it's really sad to watch now.
I miss my brother, anons. We used to be so close, we could tell each other anything and especially as we got onto adulthood we'd really started bonding. Near the start of Covid however, my brother started dating a TiM. I was pretty surprised, but neither of us are straight and at the time I was a bit of a handmaiden so I didn't put much into it. But a year or so after, suddenly he confesses he's actually trans, he's felt this way his whole life, and he's started taking hormones. It was so fast that none of our family, including me, really had time to process it. I still cant. He'd never shown an inkling of this before. I hate it anons, so much, and along with the loss I feel from the complete dissolution of our relationship, I just feel disgust. I'm so uncomfortable with him now.
It all feels like a mockery and I'm forced to watch him play dress-up while I try to pretend I'm fine with it all. It hurts to see my brother try so hard to act like a woman; I cringe every time he coughs because he tries to make it sound high-pitched and "girly", and he coughs often because of the strain of pitching his voice. I notice every time it drops when he forgets. I can't stand how he dresses now, always wearing skirts and ill-fitting tops. I've always been pretty fashionable, and have dressed "alternatively" my whole life. Now I can tell he's trying to imitate me, going through this "goth" phase wearing all black, with poorly dyed hair and badly done eyeliner. He's even tried to tell me about women's fashion - what fits women's bodies best, dressing for your shape, trying to give me advice like this isn't the world I grew up in.
There is something painful too, recognizing how quickly my attitude has changed towards him. I used to be so helpful and patient - I'd dye his hair for him, talk to him about my interest in makeup and clothes. But now he tries to get my help with those same things and I just… can't. I can't anons, it makes me cringe, and something about it makes me mad. I spent my whole life learning these things, watching tutorials, practicing, fucking up, improving. And something in me now is disgusted to be asked to help him now - you want to be a woman so bad, do what all women did and learn how to do it yourself.
It just hurts. I hate feeling this way towards him, but I can't help it. I see how uncomfortable my parents are around him. I notice how differently I treat him, and it all hurts. I just want my brother back.
>>19578>cause a rift
Anon… He's the one who caused the rift.
At least tell him he shouldn't copy your style because the skin walking makes you uncomfortable.
I started dating my ex in 2014 when I was 15 and he was close to turning 16. He was really funny and we had alot in common. I fell madly inlove with him and that year meant alot to me. Its worth noting that in 2014, GamerGate had just started and my ex was a white teenage boy so of course he was an anti-sjw. I remember he had a folder on his phone of stuff he found on 4chan which included- We Wuz Kangz memes, anti-feminist memes, gore, hentai/porn and fluffy pony torture pictures. I was too dumb to see this as a red flag but still felt a bit uncomfortable
About 7 months prior to dating him, I was in a relationship with a boy who sexual assaulted me a couple of times. The most traumatizing moment was when he put me in a headlock in the basement of my highschool, dragged me to the ground and groped me until my breasts were bruised up. My ex was the first person i had ever told and he was furious. I didnt want it to become a big deal but he went against my wishes and told our entire school. This made me drop out and stay away from public school until 2019.
During my recovery from my trauma, I discovered radical femimism through tumblr. Dworkin became an icon for me and radical feminist theory greatly changed how i viewed my situation. This was 2016 which was the "edgy filthyfrank pepe anti-sjw" era and despite the fact that he was a white teenage boy, he was supportive of me, claimed to support women and even became anti porn.
He got really into breadtube in 2018. I was 19 and he was 20. I was openly gender-critical and he was ambivalent up until this point.
His favorites were Contrapoints, Philosophytube and HBomberGuy. This was around the time that i started using Lolcow and Kiwifarms so i read up about these guy, and i was pretty much disappointed in the fact that my boyfriend who says he hates misogyny and supports me, was watching these men with misogynistic pasts
He started using the terminology. He called me a Terf and even at one point he called me a fascist. He believed that the Vancouver Rape Relief vandalism was staged. He believed that women weponized their trauma against troons. I remember one time he slapped me across the face for being "transphobic"
His breadtube obsession got so bad at the end of that year and he broke up with me after I drunkenly said to him that ContraPoints looks like Junji Ito's Fuchi while we were at a party. He dumped me and left which broke my heart because at that point we had been together for about 4 years. Some really fucked shit happened afterwards which is difficult to get into but I got over it after a few months.
We got back together in spring 2019. Things were actually great and we made a deal to not talk about trans issues. I was back in school, working towards getting my high school diploma and i was also doing therapy for my trauma. He wasnt working but was helping his mom at his home.
Then the pandemic hit. I dont remember the exact month this happened, but he came out as Nonbinary and Bisexual. I felt weird about it because he put absolutely no effort into being gender non-conforming and he had never told me about attraction to men. He wanted to change his name (named himself after one of my squishmallow), used he pronouns in public and they in private. It was also depressing cuz i felt like i finally lost him
He became even more terminally online due to not working. He started listening to Chapo Trap House, browse R/Antiwork, and was considering subbing to breadtube patreons. I told him if he did that while not working, i would leave which ended up causing a fight. He believed that Christmas, Birthdays and Valentines Day were social constructs and refused to shit with me on those days. He also stopped going on dates with me.
I did something retarded and let him move in once he started working. He brought in his giant PC and some clothes. He upgraded my bed to fit both of us. It was pretty fucking annoying sharing space with him because he was so messy. He would leave dishes on my desk, his clothes would be all over the floor and he would leave shit everywhere. He would pick fights with me constantly and barely spent time with me. He had two monitors. He would play FFXIV on one and watch youtube on the other which sucked. Imagine coming home after an 8 hour shift just to see Philosophytube's ugly british mug on a giant ass screen
He was unnecessarily rude to my friends when they would come over and would get mad when he would come home from work and they would be there. He spent all of his paychecks on computer parts and fast food. One night he screamed at me because I needed to sleep for a 7 am shift and he had an important thing to do in FFXIV and its going to be my fault if i make his friends wait. He also banned me from using Lolcow cuz it was a website for "Nazi's" lmao
There were a few moments which lead to my breaking point. I had really terrible pains in my uterus and had to get a few ultrasounds. I was told that one side of my uterus was thicker than the other and i had to take medicine for awhile. This put our sex life on a hold which he didnt pressure me over. However, one night I woke up to him shoving two fingers into me which hurt me so badly. I asked him what the fuck he was doing and he told me that he "was asleep so it wasnt assault" I was never allowed to bring this up because he would chimp out at me.
Another was when I searched his computer when he wasnt home. He was openly a furry (Judge me if you want, but i didnt see it as a problem because he claimed it wasnt sexual and his character was a bird that he made specifically to play in games) so i was expecting to see some furry stuff but i found worse.
I found passwords to lolicon websites (one was shut down due to actual CP being posted) and links to tranny porn. I was heartbroken because my boyfriend who claimed to be anti-porn was lying to me.
I broke up with him last May. The night i dumped him he pushed my down onto the bed and screamed in my face about how much he hates me and hopes i get killed in an accident. My family thought i was too hard on him which pissed me off. They thought it was fucked up of me to dump him when he had nowhere else to go except to his abusive moms house. I didnt give a shit though
After i broke up with him, he went between trying to win me back (buying me gifts, asking me out on dates, reading about my mental illness, ACTUALLY trying to learn about my favorite things, visiting me during a hospital stay, etc) and hating me (got our entire mutual friend group against me, outted me as a "terf", sent threats to the guy i had been seeing, shit talked my family and i all over the internet, etc). I cut contact in March of this year.
If you havent been able to tell, he has an extreme victim complex. He has lost so many friends because of it. I dont think ive ever seen him admit fault. He believes that he is the victim in every situation. Sometimes i check up on his socials and see how he's been. I wrote all this because today i saw he said this:
"I was the same with an ex once, she was transphobic as fuck, gender critical, and I'm nb myself
For years I put up with her saying blatantly horrible shit about Trans people, because in my mind she was a really sweet person. It wasn't until after the relationship that I realized she was just hurting me, and I was letting myself be hurt.
There's nothing sweet or kind about it, and letting these issues lie dormant can make them fester into serious trauma, no matter small they could seem."
Im less stressed now that I dont speak to him. Its pretty depressing being around someone so self-obsessed. I warn all of you to stay away from men who had an "anti-sjw" phase because they do all this troon shit out of guilt. The nazi to tranny pipeline is real
I didn't finish reading yet but I'm already so fucking angry for you anon. What an absolute shitstain of a human being. Sounds like my ex.> It wasn't until after the relationship that I realized she was just hurting me, and I was letting myself be hurt.
Classic DARVO move. Manifesting he does troon out, gets the rotpocket surgery, and has to live with unimaginable pain. I hope you're doing a lot better now anon.
Dear God nona I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. He sounds like the worst kind of shit imaginable. Men really do sexually assult women, then come out as trans and still don't see why women are against trans people and call them liars when they say troons scare them. Makes me wish I could relentlessly bully him for you lmao
Although it would be even funnier to cheer him on and push his transition further, to cause dysphoria in him that's so bad he really does chop off his dick in vain. I hope he takes hrt and grows moobs and ruins his body irreparably.
Pointless revenge plan would be to make accounts on his socials, follow all his friends and family and even accounts he follows and that follows him (at least on twitter and insta that's usually public to see). Gather all the proof of pedo content and abuse and then message them all the proof of it along with a message about how he assaulted and abused you.
Start with people who aren't close to him, like random followers of his. "Hey just wanted to let you know that person sexually abused his ex and lies about it". It will make everyone in his circles start to doubt him. Especially target any friends he has that talks about being victims
of abuse themselves, they'll want to know.
If anyone brings it up you can even lie about not being a terf
anymore, and say you only ever thought all trans people were bad because he as a trans person sexually assaulted you etc.
>>19771>Has anybody ever broken up with a friend over gendy stuff?
Yes, long vent incoming, he was a depressed lonely autist gamer and he'd occasionally mention he was sort of non-binary but he hadn't ever said he was outright trans and didn't have flags or anything. As a gamer he of course had male troon friends who he'd cape for and would sometimes bring up "JKR bad, trans women are real women as much as any other woman, terfs are bad and stupid for excluding a group of real women from their so-called-feminism".
I would pretend to be more on the dumb normie side and like I didn't really know about trans stuff and try to inject some innocent questioning "why do they always call any bad people terfs, as in radical feminist? it's not like donald trump is anywhere close to being a feminist, isn't that a bit silly to assume every bad person is a feminist?". And I also had a little bit of leverage with the strictly medical stuff because that's an interest of mine that he knows of, so I'd mention how damaging puberty blockers are and that it's terrible that they're hurting trans children. Pretty sure he just assumed he was more intelligent than me and that I was wrong and misinformed though.
At one point we argued/talked a bit online about trans stuff and he mentioned trans women belong in female prison, and I snapped a bit and tried to in the wokest way possible to explain that "male rapists pretending to be trans, but who aren't genuine transwomen, will take advantage of it and go to female prison to harm women" and he just kept defending troons and saying that rapists absolutely belong in women's prison because "women can rape too, there are already cis women rapists in there anyway". I would also say things like "the trans community says…" and he started answering things like as if he really considered himself part of the community and it clicked that he really WAS a troon at this point. Just a no effort whatsoever nonbinary troon who presents fully male and has 0 gender dysphoria. The topic of nonbinary came up too somehow, and he confessed that he doesn't believe in gender
and "it's just the most convenient language right now". And I mentally snapped. This piece of shit was literally telling me rapist males belong in women's prison based on their gender which makes them "100% real women", yet he doesn't even believe in gender? Fuck you.
So I stopped talking to him for a month or so, he got really upset and didn't know why. I finally talked to him after he started being a creep and called my family on the phone to get ahold of me (he had never met or talked to them at all before). I told him that was fucking creepy and massively overstepping my boundaries, he of course defended his actions. I told him I hadn't talked to him because he didn't believe in sex-based rights and it made me uncomfortable as a woman. He got really upset that I had "put words in his mouth" and then went on to explain… that he doesn't believe in sex-based rights. After we had argued about it for a while I finally snapped and blocked him because I couldn't handle it anymore.
That was about a year ago and he's stalked me (and my family) since then. He's sent many long physical letters in which he explains that he misses us being friends and that I'm super wrong about trans stuff and that he just wants to talk more about how wrong I am about the trans stuff, that what I'm saying is harmful to poor transwomen, he's kept calling my family, turned up at my workplace when I thankfully wasn't there, turned up at my house more than once. It's exhausting.
>>19791>Kek sounds like he considered you his girlfriend
Oh he knew I wasn't interested in dating him, but would always try to pressure and guilt me into touching him (which I never did) and would do the kind of hugs where he squeezes the chest in tighter to feel my boobs and shit. I pretended not to notice, but ew.
He once even assaulted me by groping my boobs, I just froze in fear. I don't know why I kept being friends after that. I honestly think I just wanted to pretend it never happened to me. After learning his stance on rapists I'm even more terrified about what else he's capable of.>It's frustrating that, unlike most stalkers, troons have the social leverage to turn normies against their target.
Because I've been to his place before and know he doesn't own a printer and the letters he sent were all printed out I'm actually convinced his therapist encouraged him to write and send them to me, which is all sorts of fucked up. I know he doesn't trust his "abusive
" family (I first assumed he was being truthful about it but the more he talked about it the more I doubt it since it didn't add up and his mom was always sweet and helpful and he kept being a dick to her anyway. Might be the classic troon case of claiming the family is abusive
for not calling him she/her and being evil bigots or something) so he likely wouldn't have asked them to print it. And he didn't really have friends he'd meet up with irl other than me. Because I'm also an autist and the local autist therapist team is the same one we've both been to I emailed them about it. I didn't want to directly accuse them of encouraging my stalker, but since I know the whole team talks to each other about all the patients I thought sneaking it in with the message would make them bring it up at a meeting, so whomever did it (well, if they did it) would realize they're the one who accidentally made an obsessive stalker harass a scared female.
My family was also far too sympathetic towards him since I didn't give them details about him. They'd block his number for my sake but they'd tell me they feel sorry for him. I didn't want to admit he assaulted me but it still feels so shitty to have them kind of defend him when he did that to me.
Sorry for venting so much, it really helps to talk about it all lol
Fuck that gross piece of shit moid, I'm so sorry that you have to deal with him stalking you nonnie
Same happened to me, tranny would call and text me and try to contact me literally 100s of times a day while talking on social media about how he was doing so well in theraoy and how he was sure I was an abusive
piece of shit. His friends would talk about punching me in the face for him. I still wonder if he was encouraged to do what he did to me or if he was just that delusional that he found his actions valid
while lying in therapy and to his friends about how he was coping with my rejection.
If you're brave enough you could gather some proof of him harassing you and send it directly to those friends on social media. Especially if they're female. Like gather screenshots of him sending 100 messages in a day, any lies you can disprove, him saying violent or mean things…
Depending on what you've told that guy you can even throw in a little "Of course I totally support trans people, I just don't want to date/be friends with this person because she's mean, and so she's lying and telling everyone i'm a terf
as revenge. And acting like that is the exact reason I didn't want to date/be friends with her to begin with." it's not gonna work if he has screenshots of you saying you hate troons and such though lol. And end with some "it's up to you if you still want to be friends with this predatory manipulative person, I just wanted to get the truth out there and warn you that if you ever cross her she might do the same to you and you'll have people saying they'll punch you for something you never even did".
It also helps if you have a friend/s to back you up. I'd definitely do it to support a friend.
If you choose to do it, screenshot EVERYTHING you can find about it and store it in a folder so he can't freak out and delete evidence when he sees you're starting to speak out. (or if you ever want to get a restraining order over him harassing you) Type out your message before sending it to people (I'd recommend starting with something like "Hey, I'm sending you this message because it seems you're friends with X and she's been spreading harmful lies about me". If you have ANY claim to oppression use that to your advantage (gay, any kind of poc
, autism, mental disorder of any kind, jewish heritage… you can even pretend to be an enby*, and say you just didn't feel comfortable coming out before because she was clearly an unsafe person if they ask kek)
Once you're ready to send it open up all accounts you want to send it to (also don't send it from your main account, make a side account for this) in different tabs and quickly copy-paste it so they all get it around the same time. You want to prevent one friend getting it, immediately telling the troon and the troon then telling all their friends to block you because you're lying before you've even gotten to send the evidence.
*About pretending to be an enby: if you're like me and don't believe in gender ideology and that you don't have a gender… then according to their ideology that just means you're a valid
agender enby person. So it's technically not even a lie to call yourself an enby. You're automatically trans just by not believing in trans ideology kek
One of my ex friends aunts is an older lesbian, late 50s, and she’s been dating her wife since the 90s. Even after my friendship ended, I was close to the aunt because she was the first supportive woman figure I knew, and her wife was the one who taught me that it’s okay to be gnc because girls don’t need to be feminine to still be beautiful. Aunt and wife are basically my own family at this point, I love them. Even after I moved, I talk with them all the time.
For background, they have had trouble with adoption. They live in the Bible Belt and the girlfriend used to have severe mental illness, so they’ve been denied adoption since the 2000s. They’ve fostered at least 10 kids, but they never have been able to adopt any, even ones in shitty situations. In 2020, they were fostering a 2 year old girl, but were denied adoption despite her living there since she was 3 months old. The reason being that her bio family is Muslim and they didn’t want their daughter signed off to “someone who won’t raise her with her culture,” even though wife is middle eastern herself. This really fucked up aunt and wife, but especially wife. Wife really loved this baby girl and being forcibly separated broke her heart.
Wife trooned out in 2021, I’m 100% sure it’s because she feels like she needs to be a father in order to have a baby. She started off just dressing male but she then she got on hormones, and now wants top surgery. Aunt figure talks to me a lot about how awful and trapped she feels because she isn’t in love with what her wife is becoming.
The person she fell in love with was a woman. A gnc woman, but very much a woman. But this testosterone is making her super aggressive, giving her facial hair, and she stinks like hell. Even though Wife is definitely still a bio woman, she’s becoming too much for aunt to deal with. Wife gets very aggressive about troon stuff, gets super mad when she is called a lesbian (which Aunt still calls herself), and has even started cutting people off for showing concern.
Aunt feels like she’s invested too many years into the relationship to just leave. Not to mention the fact she feels as if Wife will end her own life if they break up. She’s tried therapy, therapists affirm wifes gender. She’s tried reaching out in online gay spaces, same thing. She’s asking me if she’s wrong for wanting to leave now, and I don’t know what to tell her. She’s loved this woman since before I was born. I don’t know what to tell her other than that she should leave, but I know saying that will make her defensive.
Oh god, I feel for her. Since psychotherapy and online gay spaces are mandatory 100% pro-troon these days, maybe the aunt should read up on what to do when a spouse joins a cult like Scientology, since transgenderism is basically a cult at this point.
If you ever read the r/qanoncasualties subreddit, people post all the time asking what to do when their spouse gets obsessed with Qanon. Obviously it's a difficult decision and each family is unique, but there comes a time when getting divorced for your own sake becomes a better choice than staying with the person who's gone crazy. It's funny, most of the posters on that subreddit would encourage leaving a spouse who got too obsessed with Qanon conspiracy stuff, yet those same posters are usually incredibly pro-troon, so those same people would likely encourage someone to stay with their spouse if they became obsessed with gender identity instead of Qanon. People fail to realize that Qanon and transgender stuff are exactly the same - both are a rabbit hole that traumatized/mentally ill people fall into because they promise a way to make sense of the world.
It really is. I’m sure she started the transition to cope with the fact she’s denied adoption for being a lesbian, but the cult is what killed it. She was always super masc, she would jokingly call herself the husband and talked about how she loves doing man work, like building and repairing. I’m not exactly a trans ally, but I feel like if she just changed her pronouns, cut her hair, and maybe changed her name, I could try to accept that.
But it’s what they did to her. She was never confident in herself as a woman due to her masc interests, but they got it into her head that she was never a woman and that she’s always been a man. I can 100% see how that made sense to her, all her issues are woman related, so she fell in deep. Now, with the hormones, her personality changed. And Aunt is still in love with her, shes been with her since the 90s and known her even longer, she’s quite literally losing her soulmate. Fuvk, I’m devastated about it and I’m just the girl they would take camping and drive to soccer games. I feel like I’m losing a second mom. I know it’s best to cut my losses, but I still look at this stranger and see the woman who taught me to be comfortable in my body
That’s terrible. I totally empathize - it’s hard to be a normal woman in the world, and even harder to be a GNC lesbian woman experiencing homophobia on top of regular misogyny. It’s taking a coward’s way out to say “nope, none of that actually applies to me because I’m not a woman, I’m a straight man.”
It’s a sad fact of life, but it’s unfortunately a common occurrence that many of us will deal with at some point, to watch a family member or loved one struggle with something and not be able to help them (because they refuse help or don’t think they have a problem). Lots of people have relatives who join “normal” cults like Scientology, or they get addicted to drugs and alcohol, or they date an abuser and refuse to leave them (or they can be like lolcow Shayna and insist on being a prostitute even though their family wants them to come home and get a normal job). I’m really not sure what your aunt can do about her troon wife, it seems like the 2 options are for them to either stay together and your aunt to be miserable because she’s married to someone delusional, or for her to cut her losses and get divorced, and hope that her (ex) wife eventually hits the equivalent of an alcoholic’s “rock bottom” - realizing that she can’t change sex, and transgenderism is illogical. Like with all cults and addictions, some people’s relatives eventually do decide they want to commit to going to rehab and sober up, while other people’s relatives end up OD’ing or remaining in the cult (or abusive
relationship) until they die.
update to this post from three months ago. i met with cousin, it was good for the most part. she did try to insinuate that my mum is abusive
to me because she's a terf
, and she did talk about going to trans pride and her surgery. but a few weeks later, my mum visited my granny's and my aunt and cousin were there, and my cousin literally stood outside because she didn't even want to be under the same roof as my mother.
And I'm here to vent about recent updates about the situation: Kyle calls himself a lesbian and actively preys on lonely/anxious girls on dating sites. He still goes around bashing us, in an autistic way (meaning his breakdowns are very chris chan like) and then dates girls who are barely adults, meaning they're 10 years younger than him, he also admitted to prey on them because mentally ill girls are lonely and would give him a lot of attention, he suicide baits constantly on his public social medias and then after a few hours, he says he's happier than ever, I suppose because that's his way to get attention and these girls text him to not to do it out of fear. I hate this. I hate all of that. I also hate how people like me and Nate (our feminine guy friend who's just like that, he doesn't claim to be a woman, he wants to be a visual kei guy) struggled to get recognized as "normal" in our country, by proving that just because we do not conform to gender roles doesn't mean we are creeps only to get our struggle not only be appropriated by Kyle but also fucked it up again. When the gendie shit will go out of fashion, the people hurt by them will speak up saying they were groomed/abused and all that shit and the people who will suffer from it will be us. I don't want me or my friends being labelled as weirdos or groomers again because random people who wanted a crumb of attention start to dress up weird and call themselves trans and actually groom people.
Recently, a girl asked me what my pronouns were because of my short hair, I asked her "why?" "Because you have a nonbinary haircut so I don't want to be offensive"
What the fuck even is a nonbinary haircut…