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Two guys so far have backed off after I revealed my number. I'm 27 as were they, and they were both looking for a girl to eventually get married to.
I wish I hadn't been so dumb in my youth.
I'm trying to trigger
the incel.you didn't report me in this obvious incel thread, right?
oh you sweet summer child
I've shitposted behind a proxy many times before, nothing's stopping me now.
tbh i kind of feel like men that back off are kinda childish. u deserve better anon, don't regret your past. we've all made p bad mistakes, and being promiscuous isn't the worst thing.
if it doesn't bother to u lie, i say why not? but the right guy for u isn't going to care, and its best not to hide things.
like i said before tho, if they even ask about its thats kind of weird and if u bring it up maybe try not to lol
when i first started dating i was with a guy who had over 10+ people under his belt while he took my virginity. i stayed with him for 5 years and was constantly angry/jealous that he was able to experience other people and i hadn't (i was still stupidly under the impression we'd be 2getha 5eva).
I went a little nuts after the break up but i think its good or even needed to sexually explore, as long as you aren't doing it recklessly and hurting urself physically (stds) or mentally from it.
>Is it ever ethical to lie about your sexual past?
I feel that it's within my right to omit the "number" as it's not relevant to me presently.
The only things I care about are STDs and if a person can commit in a relationship. Numbers are a lie I'm more than happy to live with because it's bullshit tier irrelevant. The number will never be any of their god damn business.
How many men I've fucked in my wanton youth and college years out of need for sexual and romantic validation has no bearing on my current desire to have a committed, healthy relationship as a mature adult.
"Men" who are obsessed about numbers are just boys who have an inferiority complex and a fixation on "purity."
Won't see me freaking out because a guy I've slept with has had a lot of blowjobs, I just wanna know if the dirty bastard has herpes or anything that would affect my well-being in the long term.
My longest relationship was five years, not bad considering I'm in my late 20s. I don't have STDs. Meanwhile, most dudes my age who have a shitfit over numbers have never held a committed relationship for more than 2 years. They also usually have herpes/HPV. What the fuck does that say about them? Evidently, I'm not worse off because I explored my sexuality. Who's to say men don't fucking lie about numbers anyway.>>98623
Men don't want virgins unless they're strange and religious.
Men want to hear that you know how to fuck like an animal while miraculously only ever having had sex with like three people, and their cocks were always wayyy
tinier than theirs of course.
Men are fucking stupid.
They nary can tell how many cocks I've had in my pussy if I tell them I've only ever had two boyfriends. Their egos are placated all the same.
Just lie and save yourselves from needless bullshit that doesn't matter.
It's not worth it for everyone. Some people can do casual hookups, others can't. I've only been with 3 guys including my current bf and I don't feel like I've missed out on much. OTOH I've personally noticed that people who date/sleep around a lot get really jaded very fast. One of my friends has been with a lot of girls and he often claims shit like "love doesn't exist" and has incredibly bitter views on relationships and women. He desperately wants to settle down and marry but he wants a Christian girl to have a family with and I haven't met a single one that wouldn't be put off by his age, the partners he has had and his views on romantic relationships.
Lots of men take this cock carousel thing for granted and think it doesn't apply to them which is silly. I think it's fine to be with lots of people if that's what will make you happy but then you can't get upset if your partner has done the same, and people also have a right not to like that for whatever reason. I wouldn't want my bf to have slept around because I'd get jealous easily and would feel like just another notch on their belt, it's a personal preference like any other.
I agree (about people getting jaded) and it's hypocritical for people who have slept around to expect a virginal partner.
It's also unethical to lie and I don't think having a lot of partners is necessarily good for you, though admittedly it seems like it could be fun. This is one of those things that naturally feels good but must be restrained, like eating a lot of junk food. Then again I have no idea, as I lost my virginity to my husband so I can only look and wonder from afar. Sometimes I wish I knew what it was like to have been with different people I'm happy in my situation and wouldn't change it, at the end of the day.
I actually see where incels/bots come from with wanting to marry a virgin girl. I'm a femcel
virgin myself, and the way I see it is that if I get with someone right now I'd prefer we both be equally (in)experienced. Ideally we'd be The Ones for each other, but if that's not the case then I would go one and date someone comfortably who also had 1-2 partners. And so on, if I have to keep going.
That just makes sense in my mind, then no one can rationally
be upset. Like the situation >>98684
is in; they're both reasonable and okay with each other since they're on the same level.
But promiscuous people who demand """pure""" partners are fucking retarded, I just get where virgins-seeking-virgins come from. It's an equality sort of thing.
And to answer OP, if you're in a serious relationship I personally believe there should be no lies or secrets.
This is certainly not the thread but>tell my boyfriend he is my first>try to have sex with him, give up because it hurts too much>i don't bleed so now he thinks i'm lying about being a virgin
It's an abstract kind of feel.
I'm afraid of this happening because I finger myself tbh. I've never bled during that so I'm pretty sure the deed has already been done.
What can one even do in that situation? Tell him that I'm a furious masturbator who could never get laid (i.e. the truth)?
kek I lied about being a virgin, however I don't know if the guy did buy it or not, he seemed satisfied enough. Didn't question me about it or anything. I did bleed though and told him the next morning my period came. Maybe he did know?>>98639
really depends on you, I've tried casual hookup only twice and felt empty as hell there was nothing rewarding about it, stopped speaking to both guys almost immediately. I rather stay celibate my whole life tbh.
>>100663>Now you guys can call me a hypocrite but after being with a bunch of promiscuous men I knew I could never marry one of them.
but it kinda is. You went and did all the things you complain other guys would do, and say they'll never be faithful, then expect your partner to think differently about you because reasons?
Whats to say you won't be satisfied with just one partner?
Well, I’ve never cheated on anybody. My biggest reason to avoid such men is because they all cheated on me. One of my manwhore ex-boyfriends even gave me a STD.
Another point is that I’m pretty happy with monogamy. I never felt the need to go after other men while I was dating.
>>98619>Is it ever ethical to lie about your sexual past?
No >I feel like I've dealt with a lot of shit and even though I've had tons of partners that's not who I am now.
How about trying to prove that you've changed by at least being sincere to your new partner?
I was never in a situation like this but I think I wouldn't care about how many girls my bf had prior to me IF he's honest right from the start. This is a huge and important part of ones life, you can' t just keep it a secret. If I was ever lied to like this I'd probably slap the shit out of him.
Being a whore is one thing, but thinking you don't have to disclose that important fact to your new innocent and loving partner is just disgusting. On the other hand I'd also understand if people would reject somebody if they've had such a past. In a sense it would only be natural, why risk anything with a person like this, if you could also be with a normal one?
Lol I kinda have. When I my husband and I first got together, I told him I didn’t want to try any more because I was so hurt. He’s far from perfect but he is kind (sometimes but everyone can have their bad days) and understanding of what I’ve been through. I tried to be with females but couldn’t be intimate because while I didn’t mind kissing, I just didn’t like the puss.
By the time my husband and I got together, I was seriously thinking of becoming a nun or something lol
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although there's no shortage of "slut" porn and sexually liberated women are endlessly fetishized/desired, there's still a huge amount of stigma. It's the sad truth, but telling the otherwise perfect man that you've had 20+ partners will likely make him view you in a different light. Instead of saying "I've slept with 30 dudes", I'd coyly say I was a slut in my youth then launch into a story about how I had three (!!!!!) whole hookups. My stance is that as long as you didn't contract an incurable disease, you don't owe anyone a raw number they're only going to use against you
I had 3 sexual partners before my current one was 8 years long. My current has had 10+ sexual partners probably closer to 20 or more, there's people he doesn't even know the names of. A complete turn off to me and I struggle with it, especially since he comes across really shallow when drunk and is quick to objectify 'birds' with his mates even if I'm there. There's a lot to be said for how people approach sex. It really is difficult for me and something I'm pondering on for the long term. It's clear we place different values on intimacy and emotionally he is immature. He's also in his 30s.
The partner I was with for 8 years we lost our virginity to one another and had a better sex life even tho we were 'inexperienced'. My current partner watches porn and the first time we had sex it felt surreal like he was performing for me. He was performing like a set but I was trying to actually connect and get off lol. For all his one night stands and flings and experience he didn't blow me away with anything new or exciting.
Yeah, she's potentially missing out on bad dick, mean/abusive
partners, getting a 'reputation' and punished for it, and generally having horrible sexual experiences like most people have throughout their lives. If she's found a guy she enjoys fucking and treats her well, she doesn't need to experience anything more because chances are it won't be an upgrade.
I don't think we need to be virgins at marriage or anything but the fewer partners I have, the fewer risks I'm taking and the safer I feel. Missing out on potentially great sex or gaining more experience or meeting new guys is easily worth it.
Yeah no it's gross and I've called him out on it. He has basically an incel type friend he picks on on nights out and I've called him sexist and had a word. He tries to be more respectful but I don't know if this lad culture shit is just ingrained in him and whether I should just move on.
There's obviously aspects of him I like and while he didn't blow me away with new techniques in bed, we do satisfy each other and confidence in bed is only building but I don't know if its just a performance lol
The studies you're talking about don't mention happiness they mention whether or not they were divorced, don't pretend like people who are unhappy and abusive
don't stay married anyway, and how would you even measure such thing and how would you know said people are being honest about their body count? Not really accurate if you ask me
My body count in almost in the triple digit and I'm happy and in a current long term relationship with a man that makes me happy
Having a past in sleeping around isn't some weird cursed doom thing that guarantees you'll never ever be happy in your life, if anything it's men who become unhappy after sleeping around because they're the ones who are obsessed with comparing all their partners instead of learning to enjoy what they have, the more partners a man has the more unsatisfied he is with you
None is ideal since I'm an "old" virgin myself, but a few is fine if they were LTRs.
5+ or even one instance of being promiscuous (ONS or FWB) is a complete turn off for me. It's a character difference at that point, we most likely won't be compatible in general.
40+ is questionable, my number is 39 so I can’t shit on someone too hard for being on par with me but most of my sexual experiences were negative so.. I kinda assume similar circumstances are why a guy might have a high number, as in he might have pressured girls into sex like I was pressured into sex. You know?
Under 10 makes me nervous just because I worry they’ll judge me or expect me to be better than I am and I’ll disappoint them lmao. But I’ve never found this to be the case. My current partner has had 5 precious partners, doesn’t care about my number, understands it’s not rly about skill and more about compatibility + communication, and also gets why
my number is what it is.
Lol, you all are coping.
She's content with having few partners, why aren't you content after having so many?
Stop shaming women who decided to be smart and narrow in on giving something THEY valued to a small number of people. You don't value it, that's fine, just don't same people and say they're missing out. Because, they aren't. If they are missing out on something is the negative experiences she would have had with multiple people.
i dont think i'm a slut. i've slept with 10+ people and so did my long term bf. noone cares. as >>98620
said, normal guys shouldn't care about it and normally don't bring it up
also i'm in favour of lying if you feel bad about talking about it. i've slept with the majority of my partners in my very early teens, which i somewhat regret. they were losers and i didn't know how to enjoy sex and did it because i felt it was expected of me :< i haven't talked about this to some of the guys i've been with or i lied and only listed the ones i was with when i was already grown
I can feel the frustration in this comment. Theres a moderation, between being a slut and being afraid of it.
There's nothing to be ashamed of, and you can't rush it.
People who are sensitive about it need a good first time more than anyone, a friend of mine had a bad first experience with a guy and she still has negative feelings because of it. It's important to recognize you're afraid, and instead of thinking punishing thoughts like that, come to an understanding that it's not your fault. You can work on it, even without a partner, in many ways.
The general social survey has been keeping track of the numbers of sexual partners in relation to marital happiness for decades. Virgins do have a happiness advantage. And yes. It benefits men to be virgins too. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
I've never seen anything corrilating abuse with virgin marriage.
This may be an unpleasant subject. But you shouldn't live your life by statistics. You should just take them under consideration.