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If you know you're good-looking it's probably just performance anxiety. Try hanging out around your house naked or in your underwear a lot, become comfortable in existing without a layer of clothes covering you.
If this is about your face, surround yourself with images of less-than-conventional faces. Whether it's people you follow, art depicting "ugly" people, tumblr body positivity, whatever. Immerse yourself in the beauty found in flaws and train yourself to not have such a narrow view of aesthetics.
This has actually worked wonders for me. I still have days where I'm nervous before I leave the house, but for the most part I find personal appeal in my giant ass forehead, awkward nose, wide set eyes, etc. I also find men and women with atypical features leagues more attractive than the ideal 7-10/10s.
inb4 lolcow is not the place to preach uggo acceptance
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Pizza face here. I’ve tried everything under the sun including accutane to no avail. Probably 1/4 of my face is cystic acne, and i can feel it throbbing. I really hope they go away in a few years. I know that i’m an ugly individual. If i see an attractive guy I feel a semblance of shame being in the same space as him. If i have to interact with an attractive guy i’ll usually look down so he doesn’t get any ideas i’m being flirty or one of those ugly girls who aim too high if that makes sense…? I’m not sure if I’m describing this specific feeling accurately but maybe other uggo anons will know what i’m talking about.
…atleast i’m humble…right?
Yes, I've seen it with my ow
I agree with >>91039
. You should really see a derm, it's not healthy and cystic acne sounds really painful
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Just be yourself and everything will work out in the end I mean look at me I was myself and I got a hot spic gf out of it(lel)
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seen a derm. That’s how I was prescribed accutane after several other treatments, over the span of 4-5 years, didn’t work or weren’t viable in the long run. I have no choice but to deal with it because I realize it’s something that can’t be helped.>>91036
That’s a perfect description of how I imagine guys feel around me. I wasn’t sure how to describe that feeling with words but you encapsulated it pretty well.
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Exactly. Phrases like “just wash your face” trigger
me, since I probably have better hygeine than the general population. I just choose
not to wash my face and have all these bright throbbing bumps deep in my face, makes sense, right? And then, if you wear (acne-safe) makeup to cover it, we’re either made fun of (pic related), called fake, or told that the makeup is causing the acne. It’s a losing battle.
Check your CLEAR SKIN PRIVILEGE
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My teeth are really crooked and kinda stained. I always would get made fun of because of them especially in middle school when everyone else could afford braces. I'm hoping to be able to afford them someday…I'm 19 so and would like to get them at least before my mid twenties so I've already started saving up.
Anon, it could be because of a hormonal imbalance (you may have already been treated for this but just thought I would suggest) like PCOS or something else can trigger
really bad acne. Seeing an endocrinologist or even a gyno and mentioning you're specifically concerned with acne could help you get some answers. Sorry if you have already done this
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i just hate that acne is treated like it's fucking freckles or something. first it's acne commercials telling you you can be confident again and reduce the look of acne, then it's body posi types telling you not to be ashamed of your acne because it's natural.
bitch, if the only bad thing about acne was how it looks, i would just spackle on theater makeup or learn to cope, but the thing is, i just want to kill the bacteria colony on my face so i can stop being covered in painful, pulsating, greasy, underground pimples. it's not like with freckles where you can just forget you have them.
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The girl dating the college quarterback is a literal pizza face.
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lol i know the word gets overused but that's some serious incel mentality>stacy and chad together
stupid typical stacy! this proves women are animals and only go for 10/10 jerks reeeee>stacy with ugly guy
wtf how is this happening why would she go with this idiot when i've been looksmaxing and working out for 3 months reeeee!
unless you'd be happier if hot guys only ever got with genetically gifted girls? kek
i have the same thing! it's not terribly noticeable either but cleavage is pretty much impossible and my chest is often sore and i swear it's related. there have been some new surgeries for it that have become perfected in the past 10 years (so it wasn't a thing when we went through puberty) but good luck getting insurance to cover it.
i wish i had just worn a brace when i was in middle school because i was ugly/didn't care about my looks and my bones were probably less hard
also….do you have asthma? i do and i'm wondering if that's also related. would be great if enough of us noticed patterns so that eventually the surgery wouldn't be considered just cosmetic.
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"You have such a cute face anon,you look like a doll! But if you lose weight you could be even more beautiful and your bone structure will show up more." Every single time. Especially when it comes from men.. I wish I could stab them without consequences
Well, shame I am an overweight cunt who can't lose weight in an normal way bcz it puts me in anachan mode, who suffered from ednos since I was a 12yo and starting recovering only a year ago. I was skinny 2 years ago but I was a miserable person, always shaky and smelling like vomit, counting calories and overexercising. I guess my beauty or whatever will always be hidden by layers of fat.
My chest gets sore easily too, and it's sad we'll never really know true cleavage lol I'm glad you brought up the surgery since I had heard a little about it but didn't know they had improved. Whenever I would look up pigeon's chest on the internet I only ever saw extreme cases of it and usually just teen boys…since it is most common in males. Made me feel even worse about my body since I hadn't met a girl with a similar problem lol
I don't have asthma but I do think it would make sense for it to be related. I'm lucky my case isn't severe so it's not debilitating, but it still sucks that the surgery is so expensive
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My cheeks are so fucking fat it makes me look like a boy-child-man abomination, I also have a non-existent jawline. Though I guess it “works” because I’m asian so I naturally have soft and rounded features. But everytime I put a big smile, my face just looks fatter and manlier. Plus my bushy eyebrows aren’f helping either. I try to make up for it by making sure my hairstyle looks slimming.
>tfw cant smile cause youll look uglier
I hate my mouth and jaw area. My jaw and chin are uneven, my chin is flat from the side and too long from the front, my cheeks and jaw are too large (muscled as fuck too because stress clenching), my upper lip is quasi non-existent and my philtrum is way too long. If I hide that part of my face I'm okay with what I've got though, if only for my eyes being a bit too close to each other and sunken. Oh and I have fucking rosacea.
I get over it by using makeup, hair colours and hairstyles that (hopefully) flatter me. Spending a bit of time on my appearance makes me like it more and feel more confident. And it's like I'm saying "yeah I know I've got flaws but I'm trying ok?" to people. I also avoid mirrors except for a mid-day powder touch up with a very small one, so I don't start to nitpick and bring down my mood.
My body is like a 14 years old boy's, but I easily cover that up with baggy, fluffy sweaters and high waisted, flared slirts.
I used to dislike my nose but since the nosejob I'm fine with it, so that's also a solution. I'm also looking into lasers for my rosacea.>>91032
I feel for you anon. If you haven't tried it yet, tetracycline worked really well for me.
I've had atypical anorexia for over a decade now, and although I've actually managed to gain a little bit of weight back I'm so stuck in the mindset of "taking up space = having less value" that I'm terrified to eat healthier and gain weight.
I used to be a 5'8", 150 lb rugby player, but now I'm a 5'8", 125 lb (in ten years of starving I haven't dropped below 120, which makes me feel like a fraud) dumbass who looks so sick that whenever I gain any weight at all my parents start gushing about how "healthy" I look, which somehow makes me panic and stop eating again.
I hate the idea of taking up any space. I have a v broad skeleton and naturally muscular build, so no matter how much I weigh I'll never be dainty and lovable, but I don't know how to own that. At my healthiest I was about 37-30-41, which just seems like Too Much.
I hate my body now too, though, so I need to figure out how to convince myself that if I'm going to hate how I look anyway then I may as well eat healthily while doing so.
At least I've stopped freaking out over my chin acne and stopped trying to hide it. It just feels like a part of me at this point. My skin's healthy otherwise, it's probably from my eating habits, and it's not like it could make me any more grotesque.
I'm kind of in the same boat. >v broad skeleton and naturally muscular build, so no matter how much I weigh I'll never be dainty and lovable
This hurts so much. I'm even taller and absolutely hate it, I just wish I was as small, skinny and youthful looking as my friends.
The reason my ED started in the first place was because some guy told me I have men's legs - back then I thought I need to lose weight, but now I know that my legs are just naturally really muscular, especially my calves, which looks awful. I was also asked by classmates who were sitting behind me whether I lift, because my shoulder are so wide and angular… I probably could go a year without moving and would still have a bigger muscle mass than everybody else. Despite my height I never really had the model look either, my legs just look like stumps. I was even told that I don't have the body type to be super skinny, some bitch even said I had "birthing hips"….ugh
>in ten years of starving I haven't dropped below 120, which makes me feel like a fraud
I'm 5'10 and my lowest weight was probaby around 120-125, so barely underweight, as well. The only thing that seems to "work" for me is eating 400 cals per day.
I went through a period when I was 15 when I ate really healthily, lots of fruit and whole grains, maybe around 1500 a day, drank only wter, jogged regularly, but it still made me gain everything back I lost prior. I really dont know what I'm doing wrong, my metabolism isn't slow, but it seems as if I'm stuck with a manish body for all my life.
Now I'm at the highest weight I ever was, I feel absolutely shit, but even now my face still looks gastly sick from a decade of treating my body like shit. Kind of bloated on the lower half, but also extremely aged and pale; Ialready see fine lines, but still get break outs. Also, I think starving myself made my body a lot hairier.
It's bittersweet to find someone with such similar problems.
Mine started after a girl on my rugby team asked "what have you been eating?" while lifting me up during line-out practice, and I decided somehow that the reason I'd been bullied and ostracised at school for years was because I was too big and masculine to be liked. I see now that this is bullshit, but only seeing catwalk model figures praised on girls our height is painful. It's like we're only allowed to take up vertical space if we take up less horizontal space, and it makes me feel like a monster for not being physically able to hit 34-24-34.
I'm up to 1200-1400 calories a day now but I'm not gaining anything. I eat Quorn sausage rolls, homemade fruity protein smoothies, vegetables, and pasta, but I can't get higher than 130 lbs, and my build means I should realistically be aiming for 145-155 lbs.
I've started using hyaluronic acid to try to stop the forehead lines from becoming more pronounced, but it's probably not helping much. I wish we'd been nicer to ourselves when we were younger, but I suppose all we can do now is try to accept what we've done and avoid hurting ourselves further.
wow i'm doing research right now. i'm assuming i'd need to get my hormones checked before i could get this prescribed?
ever since i had an awful mental health experience with hormonal BC i'm paranoid about anything that fucks with my hormone levels at all, but i can't find any mental or emotional side effects for this one
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I totally empathize, anon.
I’m not sure if you’ve tried this before. I had my entire lower half of my face break out into painful, throbbing cysts as you described last June. I’ve been on tetracycline and retinol, but this is the main thing that actually cleared me up, though it took 3-6 months before I started to really see results. Along with it, I used better skincare products. I mainly stick to Asian products like Skinfood, Sana, and Boscia—also saw good results with Dr. Brandt, but that line is expensive unless you find it at Tj/TK Maxx or a store like it. Cutting alcohol out as an ingredient in food and skincare products made a HUGE difference on the quality of my skin. Most things I have do not have any sort of alcohol as an ingredient now.
My entire face is clear, now, though it’s been about 15 months since I started.
It could potentially be something you want to try??? Differin is also available OTC so you can walk into any store and find it.
Yeah, I tried it with birth control and it actually kept my skin clear for a while but it might’ve been giving me bad side effects like heart palpitations, overheating, and skin redness. I could try it again but I just want this to be over permanently. Might try a second
round of accutane.>>93884
I was on antibiotics for 1-2 years when I was younger. They lessened my acne but I went off of them because… i got bacterial vaginosis. You can’t be on antibiotics for too long. Sigh.>>93964
Autogynephiles aren’t welcome on lolcow.
I don't think body hair is masculine, personally. I don't shave my armpits or my legs very often and I don't judge other women for not shaving. I just meant that some people think it is and they feel bad about it but it isn't.>>94017
I'm very happy with how my transitioned turned out, and I feel much happier than I did before. I just still have body image issues that get to me sometimes, just like anyone else. I've already tried detransitioning and living as a gay man and exploring other possibilities with a very open mind but it wasn't right for me.
Also I don't live -like- a woman, I'm fully integrated into society as a woman and I feel a lot happier that way. I still wish I could be a mom etc. but I'm fine how I am.
Anyway I'm going to get out of this thread because clearly my mere presence is derailing the thread because some people are bigots. I hope you all can work through your own body image issues and I wish you good luck.
How can you seriously think any real woman can relate to trying to negate the affects of their male
puberty? None of us had male puberty cause we're female. Being a woman means being female, you're neither. Just because you were tricked into thinking it would doesn't mean it has. You will never be a woman in the eyes of anyone, no matter how much you try, no matter how many friends you make, no many how many people talk about it behind your back. You will always either be a man or a transwoman. You will never be able to relate to a woman's childhood or upbringing or socialization because you didn't experience it. You never will because no matter how woman you "feel" or think you look, no matter how much surgery you get, people will look at you and know.
Have you tried birth control? Also, diet matters a lot. Most pcos women are insulin resistant and diabetes is a big risk. Issues with insulin messes with hormones and increases testosterone.
Are you on metformin? Metformin and strict low carb diet can help symptoms along with birth control. Dairy should also be avoided due to naturally occurring hormones. If you are overweight, losing weight will also help symptoms.
Research birth control since some can increase glucose levels.
Hi anon, I'm not overweight and I've been on an extremely low carb diet since I found out I have PCOS but it didn't really help and I think it might actually make me feel worse. I remember that when I used to eat more carbs I had more energy and felt better overall.
I have taken birth control but it caused a blood clot and since then I've been really scared of trying to take it again and I know there's a lot of types. My dermatologist put me on accutane one month ago, I'm waiting to see results but I need to be patient. When I finish my accutane treatment I will probably try something like spironolactone because I heard it works really well I will have to discuss that with my doctor, of course.
I don't want to take any other meds right now because I don't feel comfortable taking a lot of meds at once and I think accutane is already a strong medication that has many side effects.
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I use it topically, now, and only when needed.
When I first started it, I used it all over every other night (minus the skin around my eyes!!). When I first started, it made my skin really sensitive and dry so I had to use an alcohol-free heavy moisturizer on top of it. That was for the first month or so. I got really flaky and it made me break out worse—which it’s supposed to do at first.
After the first month, I went to using it every night before bed after washing my face under layers of moisturizer. A Korean inspired skincare nighttime skin routine is really what helped my skin stay hydrated since I had to use lots of different things that were easily absorbed into my skin and a heavy moisture pack on top to seal everything in. Mornings are just basic skincare using gentle products and foaming washes. My skin was very painful from both the dryness and the swelling of the cysts. These weren’t things you could pop or that had a head. They were deep under the skin and took a long time to heal.
Now, I just use it as spot treatment. I hardly get breakouts and the hyperpigmentation/scarring is mostly gone. I can go with wearing sheer powder makeup and I don’t have to focus a lot on covering myself up anymore.
Picture is from second month in. I wish I had pictures from 2015 because that’s when my skin was at its angriest, then 2016 was like… not clear, but not horrible either, then it went back to being slightly less pissed off in 2017, but still pretty angry. My dermatologist said it was hormonal, but I couldn’t seem to get it to go away with birth control or any other pill. It seems to really coincide with my body’s stress response to different life events and Differin is the only thing that actually gave full, tangible results.
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Im 23 now. My tits ate sagging from being chubby to an anachan to weight gain from alcoholism and the constant weight loss to weight gain from the battle with anorexia and alcoholism.
I'm not an alcoholic anymore and fluctuate between 97 and 100lbs. I'm bony shaped like a rectangle. The first place i gain weight is my face.
I'm getting laugh lines, my face is scared from acne and i still get cystic acne if i sleep in my makeup. Everyone says i look like nina hagen and i think she's pretty unattractive looking. Mostly i hate my body. I hate it so much. I don't think I'm ugly, but then i see pictures of myself and want to die.
>>99474>I shoplift it from Walmart and grocery stores so there's pretty much no excuse to not be able to get it.
Yep, there is: it's called being a normal human being.
>be nearly 30>steal anti-aging products at walmart>think somebody saying you look a mere 3 years younger (probably only out of sheer politeness) is something to be proud of
That's so pathetic…
I hope you'll get caught and humiliated in front of everybody.
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>>99474>shoplifting at the age of 27>shoplifting cheap ass anti-aging products from FUCKING WALMART>AT 27 YEARS OLD
You should be having a crisis about getting a job and not an aging crisis. Aging is clearly the least of your worries.
kids are dumb anon, I remember sitting somewhere with my short hair and a dress, minding my business, and I heard some kid asking my dad if I was a boy or a girl.
Many men and women find women like you attractive, and believe me, spotting a tranny it's fucking easy and no woman can compare to a troon anyways. Sit together a masculine looking woman and a tranny with 194 surgeries in an attempt to look feminine and the masculine woman will always look like a woman no matter what.
What's your solution?
We equally distribute wrinkle cream to all women?
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Oh right. Let's blame an economic system and use it as a justification for stealing. pic related; its you.
one of my eyes is fucked so no matter what i do, (work out, eat well, dress nice, good makeup) i know i'll always look odd and unattractive to most people. but this past year i've learned that i shouldn't give a fuck. i might be an ugly son of a bitch but i still deserve to be loved and go out and make friends. sure, i repell some people. but, as mean as this sounds, other ugly people will talk to you. might even date you. lower your standards. not being a 10/10 is fine. making friends with other uglies is fun. dating one even more. don't give up.>>99685>>99689
uwu girl looks better here being "sarcastic" than she does normally. tragic.
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I got a lot better with accepting or even liking myself over the past couple of years. However, I can't seem to like anything below my waist.
No matter how emaciated my upper half may look, my legs ALWAYS look pudgy. And it's not just because of me being untrained, it's those goddamn hip dips and hips that make me genuinely hate myself. And the fact that it's actually something I'll never be able to do something about is really… I don't know.
Even when I was at my lowest with a BMI of like 13 or something I couldn't wear any type of not hogh-waisted underwear, pants, skirts, you name it, without looking like I had muffin tops.
But even if I didn't have those, I'd still have those m a s s i v e hips. I look like a fucking bowling pin.
And that's mostly what keeps me from doing something about being skinny fat in general? Like, I don't feel like getting fit and a defined body if I'll look like that no matter what. Like, what's the point of having a six pack if I still look like I have muffin tops and saddlebags?
I can feel confident and even think I look hot when I'm wearing clothes and get to mask all of that, but as soon as I look at myself in underwear or naked I'll start crying because I hate it so much.
(The pic doesn't do it justice.)
Same anon, same. I'm 5'5" and 120 lbs. and still have perpetual muffin top because of it. I've learned to just accept it for the most part but some days it's still really fucking annoying. The part that makes me even more annoyed is that my ass is perpetually squarish no matter how much I workout. The only think I can think of to reduce the appearance are lower back exercises and lipo.
It's not the worst fat distribution to have but it's still fucking annoying.
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i'm dealing with premature aging before i'm even out of my teens (nearly 20 soon), and i'm already starting on retinol. sucks to be thinking about wrinkles so early.
i'm pretty unimpressed with my body right now, i'm standardly thin/skinny fat but my dream goal is 15% bodyfat, a body like pic related. i just worry about my accelerated aging and having to use roids or something to obtain my goal.
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For some reason, i never lose weight on my chin/ jaw. I am a 15 bmi at the moment . Ive had anorexia for 6 years, but even at my lowest (80lb) i still had a round chin that looks chubby (me in pic related). My cheeks are hollowed and my eyes sink in so i feel like this is as close to sharp as my chin can get, i think its so ugly. How much is chin shaving surgery these days? Anything i could do about my chin, also my lips? They are ugly and chapped
cry more. people are gonna vent about their insecurities and sometimes you're just not gonna like what you read.>>99918
idk anon there's nothing you can really do about chin and jaw shape, but surgery. i know it's just your dysmorphia talking, but your jaw is fine. shaving it off would just look spoopy and retarded tbh >>99927
it's not that deep
Hey, ugly people can't help it.
We can't all be perfect like you, anon. In fact most people you meet in life won't be.
Which benefits you due to inherent human preference for aesthetics.
I fucking hate my body so much. My ass, inner thighs, hips and tits are covered in stretch marks from battling anorexia off and on since age 11. My skin always feels saggy, I’m afraid I’m developing jowls, my eyes are so hollow and my cheeks never recovered from being gaunt. Also abused drugs/alcohol in high school and college, now I’m 24 and paying for it. I can see crows feet appearing already, people swear I’m gorgeous but in pictures, I swear I look so old.
My legs are my biggest problem. Hate them so much, I’d rather live as an amputee. Anemic, so they’re always covered in nasty, embarrassing giant bruises. I have an ugly as hell stick n poke from an ex on my knee, and I carry my weight in my legs so the stretch marks on my inner thighs are the worst ones. Also struggled severely with self harm, and my leg is covered top to bottom by huge ugly scars.
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I'm covered in moles. I have over 150 on my body - my right arm alone has 33. They make me want to fucking kill myself. I'm pale too, so I look like a goddamn chocolate chip cookie. Not only is it hideous, but also dangerous. Dermatologists have taken off several, because my melanoma risk is sky high. I genuinely believe these fucking things are going to kill me. I wear sunscreen now, and get my skin checked twice a year, but the damage from my childhood is permanent. Thanks Mom and Dad for settling your pasty asses on the equator.
Idk lads it just SUCKS. When I see girls with regular, smooth skin, I get intensely jealous. It's such a weird thing to be envious of, because almost everyone has normal skin. Meanwhile, I'm covered in dark, protruding moles, some of which are the size of nickels. Derms are reluctant to take them all off (open wounds, scarring) so I'll have to learn to live with it. It doesn't help that my ex bfs pretended to be ok with it, but inevitably ask me to get them all removed. Just fuck my shit up.
Anon, you must not be doing so bad if you have a gf who is attracted to you. I do not intend it to sound like the incel meme that looks are everything (they are not) but truly disfigured people might find it extremely difficult to find a loving relationship.
I believe that you should seek therapy for your problems. Acceptance is the way.
same. i've gotten a few removed because skin cancer runs in the family but i just kind of forget that i have them most of the time. i feel like out of all the flaws i could have it's not a bad deal since it doesn't affect how my face or body shape looks. it's just some final seasoning. i've never been rejected for it or really had any inherently negative comments come to think of it.https://www.cosmopolitan.com/style-beauty/beauty/news/g5289/celebrities-with-moles/
i think this list goes to show that moles are kind of invisible if you style yourself nicely. even if the individual women in the list aren't your taste, they're obviously known for their good looks long before they're known for looking like chocolate chip cookies.
Now that the shitstorm is over, you can prevent chapping by mechanically exfoliating your lips once a week. Get a new toothbrush, put some of your facial moisturizer on it, scrub it down in a circular motion.
I still have to wear lip balm like 24/7 but at least there's a point to doing it now.
I'm vaguely transparent everywhere and I think it's kinda cool? You could use fake tan to cover it up (not real tanning, look after your skin anon)
But honestly it's cool. No shame for being a human with a circulatory system.
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Thinking that there isn't just one way to be beautiful (like, steriotypical beautiful) is helping me to accept myself a little more, I think of friends, especially younger friends who don't apply to this steriotype, can I say they're not pretty in their own way? It's cliché tumblr acceptation but it kinda works for me.
That said, I have fucking ugly croocked legs like the middle one in the pic and I hate it, idk if it can be corrected
I have them too + my ankles seem to bend inward. >>101050
is right, there are exercises to fix these and you can always go to a professional
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> was really insecure and constantly compared myself to other girls on Instagram in my early teen years which made me really miserable and never want to step foot outside> as I got older, I realized not to trust anyone on Instagram or Twitter because apps like Facetune, Snow, and other photo editing apps exist> finally started getting comfortable with the way I look> download TikTok> notice a lot of girls on there are pear or hour glass shaped and I’m shaped like a fucking door> am back to feeling miserable and not wanting to step foot outside ever again
Is there anyway I could give my body some shape in the gym or am I forever stuck like this? Is it just a genetic thing? I know about corsets, but I would like to know if there are any other options before I think about buying one. Or should I just commit suicide? lelartist: https://twitter.com/HamsterFragment
Stop using dumb social media obsessed with appearance, damn. You're obviously way too easily influenced.
You can work out to get a bigger butt but the shape of your hips and waist can't really be changed and it's not worth paying the price of a corset and all the complications that can come with it. Uninstall tiktok and focus on a hobby. You literally know what's making you feel like this, either get over it by remembering angles, effects etc exist, or cut the source.
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I really needed this.
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Spot fat reduction doesn't exist.
Your encouragement genuinely lifted my spirits a bit, thank you.>>129302
I’ve been asked a few times over the years if I’m trans, most likely due to the fact that I have a strong jaw in combination with a large chin and an overall long face (and small boobs, to boot). It really hurts my feelings, to be honest. I was also bullied over it a bit as a child. The rest of my facial features are feminine - large eyes, average nose, fairly full lips - and I dress girly when I go out. I’ve seen lots of other women (with a variety of facial structures and body types) get asked the same question, though, so I suppose I shouldn’t get too hung up on it. Seems to be the new insult nowadays.
It’s really given me a complex, to the point where I obsess over it endlessly and can barely leave the house anymore. Not entirely sure how to get past it.
i used to be fairly pretty and had an eating disorder so i was thin, but about two years ago i moved a really long way away from everyone i knew to take care of a sick sibling, got really isolated and depressed, and gained something like 50+ lb because i started drinking almost every day to cope.
anyways i recently ran into an ex of mine from years ago, when i was probably 'peaked' in terms of looks/weight, and we ended up having sex over the course of about a week…until a couple of days ago when he told me that we couldn't date because i was no longer sexually attractive to him due to my weight. because he was 'trained' to like a certain body type.
i dunno, i shouldn't base my self-worth on what other people think of my looks, but it was a huge blow to my ego. i knew i gained weight but i didn't think i had become so ugly that a guy would tell me he loved me and didn't care 'what anyone else thought' one night and then cut me out of his life because i'm too fat for him to tolerate the next day.
it's not like i'm not trying to lose the weight, either. i go to the gym three times a week and i've been cutting back on calories and doing intermittent fasting, but it's so frustrating knowing that he doesn't want to be with me while i'm whittling away at this, he only considers me a romantic prospect once I get down to an ex-ballerina's standards for thinness. It's this kind of shit that gave me an ED when I was a teen and I can feel the same mental state creeping back into my life, especially with fasting being part of my diet plan because after a certain point I hate breaking the fast. it doesn't help that now i'm angry about what he said and I want to prove him wrong and get back to 115lb just to reject his broke alcoholic hipster-moustache starbucks barista ass, so every time that i'm working out or not eating is just like, motivated by spite so much as it's motivated by the desire to get back down to 115lb.
>>130406>and we ended up having sex over the course of about a week>he told me that we couldn't date because i was no longer sexually attractive to him due to my weight >he was 'trained' to like a certain body type.
Stop right there. He put his dick inside you and did it over the course of the week. Don't let him tell you a neg so his ego can cope, he never had an intention to date you and the goal was to always get his dick wet.
Don't accept fault as if looking hot would have prevented how he disrespected you when he was gonna use you all along. Men fuck over hot women all the time. They're self serving like that. It has nothing to do with how you look, they just hope you buy that and blame yourself for what they did to you.
What? He wouldn't have been having sex with you if there was no sexual attraction, what a dick on many levels. Even those guys who hide their chubby gfs at least acknowledge the attraction.
Good for you on getting healthy though. I hope you can get your revenge fantasy without resorting to ED territory!
I know this reply is quite old, but we sound quite similar, anon!
I have a nose that's on the larger side, small ish lips and wide ish circular eyes which are typical 'baby' features (if that makes sense) , but then very dark circles which make me look old. I've been told I look tired and older a lot, but I've also been told I look youthful and very young a lot too? It's weird that my featured contradict each other and I don't know how to feel about it. I'm worried that I'm going to age terribly.