also dated a semi-famed youtuber. he turned out to have a flat, absent personality which was kinda shocking to me because in all of his videos he was really exciting, introspective, philosophical etc. i found his videos on youtube before they got popular and because we live in the same state he reached out to me after i started leaving his videos comments and he realized i was local etc. i was very young at the time and would have to drive good distances to go meet him which was intimidating at 18. he didn't have a car so that was the only way. he lived south of my state's downtown, which means an area -rougher- than downtown (which is pretty damn rough considering downtown is ranked top shit city in the usa). he worked hot-topic-esque retail at the time, and dwell'd (still does in between his ayahuasca retreats) in his moms basement - which is basically a mattress on the floor, a desk and monitor touching the mattress on the floor (mattress is to double as seat for computing), and pop up shelf-organizers everywhere else stacked to the ceiling with merch. all we did that was noteworthy was smoke weed out of a cheap, dirty bong.. i'm a bundle of nerves with social anxiety and hadn't really honed concealing that yet at 18 so i was rather awkward and quiet around him. he was also awkward and quiet around me, complete opposite of his online persona. i think at one point it even got so awk, he concluded "well i dunno what to do or say now hehaw". we have similar interests and all, there was just no clicking that took place. when i watch his videos now i realize he isn't nearly as interesting or intellectual as i thought he was at 18.. and he's been through about 25 "true loves" since then.
even though he was polite and didn't try anything inappropriate with me at the time, i get borderline predator vibes from him just because i've seen the way he grooms through every local girl in my state over the years, chills with them for a few weeks and blasts photos of them on social media/maybe writes a poem or song about them, then moves on. he's got a nice cult-y following going that worships his brain-vomit-pseudo-garbage as god status insight, even though he only half grasps the subjects he tangents about. uses a lot of "trippy buzzwords" to make easily digestible "spiritual" inspirational videos for assumingly preteens, and films his "trips" where he babbles and talks in circles on acid about love being the only thing that matters. that was my youtube guy experience. i'm now dating a musician (edm/festival circuit, no comment lmao) and he is my best friend and the most down to earth dude i have met. he's a man so he's still a pain in my ass, but very humble and modest and authentic and loyal - let alone for someone of his standing, which is the only reason we've made it so long considering i don't see him much these days because he's always off traveling for work or living pt in LA. i don't intentionally seek out men in some fashion of spotlight just kinda happens. my advice is to give up entirely on the youtubey guy. doesn't matter what he does for a living, if he likes you - you'll know. give him space forever. i sent my youtube-y guy some handmade gifts a few months back to be cordial and nice and make up for being an awkward 18-yo-fangirl-faildate (we've kept in touch) and he was kind enough to inform me that he received the gifts, but never thanked me once. some people's priorities only involve themselves. we're all genuinely busy - but we make the time for people who matter no matter what level of notoriety .. yano?