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I don't mean this in a shit way, but I would usually only warm up to one of my brother's girlfriends overtime because the other younger one was cheating on their gfs constantly and I felt hella fucking bad talking to them.
As for making female friends, just find someone with similar interests and bother them on facebook or line or whatever. As long as you're polite and decent you'll make friends. Only real big diff I've seen with working friendships is that if you take our your frustrations and feelings out on people dudes in general seem more tolerant of it because they see women as overall more emotional and unable to control themselves, but women will know that's not true and rightfully tell you to go fuck yourself.
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i had an equal amount of female and male friends in elementary school, then a tight nit group of best female friends in middle school (although i had a lot of male friends they just weren't my number 1) but when I moved and got to highschool i was plagued with only male friends. half of which only started to become my friend bc 'hurr durr a girl who plays vidya wow'.
i had a close female friend but after my depression and changing schools we kind of lost touch, and she became kind of a type of girl i wouldnt want to associate with because of the way she treats her boyfriends.
anyways, i dont mean to sound rude but i dont find that a lot of normie girls have a lot of substance. im sure a lot of girls do, but it's sometimes hard to tell when all I can do is small talk.
With guys i get this instant click and we can joke around and be friends but with women I dont.
It's so weird, I just want a close female friend to care for. Do feminine things like makeup, shopping, hair braiding, gossiping, walking around and going places, having lunch.
It's not that I don't want female friends, I really do, but it seems hard to find someone with ether a). same interests or b) same sense of humor.
You don't have to play videogames or exercise or idk whatever else autismo things im into to be friends but it's going to be awkward and hard to relate when we dont have similar humor or personality traits i suppose.
sorry for blogpost. I dont even need lots of them, I'd just really like a female friend
Depends on the normie girl. They are less insecure, mentally ill and unstable in general. They are more generally less likely to try to drag you down. I have noticed this. Relevantly funnily enough, I hung out in a girl comm and I realised their self defeating attitude was sticking onto me and I found myself going "I don't feel like doing this important thing, because of y".
I also found myself to be having breakdowns more frequent, due to the coddling "we are mentally ill and proud of it!" - attitude. They were nice girls, but I just suddenly realised the self loathing, self defeating attitude and general complacency was sticking on to me too.
I hadn't had a mental breakdown this frequent in years and I had been wondering for a while why was it happening. Then I realised suddenly that they were enabling it, in their defense they were doing it thinking it was a comforting thing to do. In reality what was happening was that when the breakdown hit, they justified it for me.
Now to reiterate, I have nothing against the character of these people, they are generally nice. There were other major reasons why I decided not to hang out in this girlcomm too, but…
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Yeah, two brothers, no sisters. Became a bit of a "not like other gurlz" girl due to having no close female friends (literally like.. 2 fairweather friends) and being quite viciously bullied, mostly by other girls on my grade. This went on from ages 7 to 16. I admit that I was quite socially retarded and my interests were on the autistic side, but as I was shy I wasn't even that obnoxious about them… I'm in my mid 20s and I still haven't experienced close female friendships. At this age it's even harder, everyone's becoming a mom and/or working hard I'm just depressed neetscum who's still afraid of other women bc of my past and I just feel like I have nothing in common with anyone my age, with other women even less so.
I don't know where I'm going with this, it's late and I'm getting sad just typing this. ;_;
another anon with same interests and age lol
i used to work for a game shop with board games and magic, warhammer, that kind of shit, but 9.5/10 the ladies that would come in who werent regulars were ugu gamer gurlz and had to let all the guys know. it was the fucking worst. outside of that i had no social interactions so ive pretty much soured to trying to hang out with other girls of similar interests because it was always tits out at the guys and flaunt the newest vampire deck they had.
i secretly like to be girly but im not the best at it. i just like to get drunk play vidya fuck around with computer hardware and sell magic cards.
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I know that feeling. I tried to be friends with "normie" girls and honestly its a bit frustrating. But at the same time, I had an ex-friend who was more less normie but she was a total sly passive aggressive bitch.
Don't lose hope anon, I'm sure we can find girlfriends who we can mingle with. I'm still struggling to find one myself- especially one that isn't a leech and takes advantage that I come from a comfortable lifestyle. My mom always told me to find friends who at least share similar lifestyles so they don't grow envious or resentful of you, you know?
I'll post in that penpal friend finder thread. It's worth a shot as I live near a major city, Los Angeles.
I've had mostly male friends now but I've been looking for a decent female friend. Perhaps I'm just paranoid of being fucked over like last time? Either way, it would just be nice to find someone who understands me and vice versa.
Anon vampires haven't been a relevant deck for several standard seasons lmao.
I also worked at a LGS for a couple of months. The women I saw there were very ugly and weird.>>69860>But at the same time, I had an ex-friend who was more less normie but she was a total sly passive aggressive bitch.
lol this was the same for me
I did tell the first one, but he went absolutely batshit after and I learned it was better to just avoid the situation entirely.>>69799
I've met a lot through school or cons. Wear an anime tshirt or something. Some wanted to go out with me initially, (which I don't mind as long as they're not creepy, I usually like to get to know someone a year or so before I'll consider dating them) but once I got a boyfriend they calmed down and stuck around, and now a lot of them have partners too. The ones that don't are still good friends, I think there's around 7 of them. Admittedly one dude was really fucking crazy and refused my attempts to shut things down with him, but I don't think that reflects on the rest of the people I know.
thats why its boggling, theyre fucking ugly here too. after every fnm it reeks. i had to come in a bleach the place so that for saturday pokemon it smelled like a meth lab.>>69863
yea which made it even worse. that and dont get them started on their shitty avacyn deck comprised of only shadows over innistrad set. i wish these were only caricature portrayals but its all too real. >>69864
ive seen some fun vampire combos but it seems to be combo of vampire and something else.
>commence to embarrass myself with mtg sperg
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It’s kind of sad reading these and looking at this thread. It’s kind of cliche but girls, if you want a true good girly friend, be yourself. Make the conscious descision to talk and interact with females around you. Ask about places to get your hair cut, compliment their outfit, ask about something like a pin they’re wearing or a great place for tacos or something!
It sounds like a lot of you who are struggling with making girl friends is that you have self confidence issues. Nobody wants to be around a Debbie downer that hates themselves, even normies can sense this and will avoid you like the plague. Learn to give no fucks.
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Omg I kind of needed this thread lol.
My parents display really narcissistic traits, and I'm just now realizing the effect it's had on my inability to form meaningful friendships. I keep in touch with one or two female friends from school, but that's it. I really wish I could have a best friend.
>Tfw pic related is your dream lol
Being true to oneself is so hard tho…i really have no idea who i really am tbh
I often dress comfortably with no makeup in hopes of looking more approachable and friendly to other girls but when i end up talking to a super pretty and put well together one, it just makes me so freaking self conscious…
I can't even force myself to laugh and i'm so boring that i probably wouldn't even want to be friends with myself>>70288
For me it's the same; i nticed that a lt of girls on here write that they relate more to boys, but i'm not good with either.
I sometimes manage to chat up girls in class, but never more than that… Is it because for some reason i myself don't notice, i'm unlikeable or weird?>>70291
Mine as well, absolutely. I just want one friend with whom i can do dumb shit girls do while i'm still young…
I used to have a best girl friend but she was flaky and turned out to be crazy so I dumped her. Now I am sad i don't have that kind of person in my life even though we would only hang out for real a couple of times a year. My new best friend is a guy who is a homebody so I can't do any of the crazy girl things I did with my ex bf.>>70285
I initiate conversation with both guys and girls but it doesn't seem like people are interested in taking things further. I do like a lot of things about myself but it really crushes my confidence when I get rejected so much. I've tried to have more confidence but it's not enough.>>70364
I like to meet new people and we seem to hit it off ok but I don't know what to do after I meet them. It seems like people are too busy with their social groups and don't want to hang out with me.
Same for same sense of humour.
It's weird, I had mainly female friends until I was 16, and I found them funny and had a great time with minimal drama, but for the last few years I've been studying some very male dominated subjects I've had trouble finding new female friends. I just haven't "clicked" with the ones I've met, and they're often a bit idk, bland? Or just lacking in confidence to act like themselves.
Idk, where have all the actually cool women gone?
I don't want to be like one of "I'm not like other girls" types, but I just can't seem to find other women I relate to anymore, and that scares me.
And if they're not bland, they're the annoying histrionic type I have no patience for.
But thinking more about it, I think my problem's just the small pool of choices of women in my subject, I tend to be very picky about people in general, but of course with so many men I was bound to find a few good eggs.
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You “try” to have more confidence, but there’s a difference between trying to be happy with who you are as a person and actually being happy with yourself. Seems kinda harsh but it reminds me of the “I’m so lonely I’ll never find love uwu” people on anime forums and ok cupid. Sometimes gasp
you’ll have gaps in your life where your friend herd, relationships, money etc thin out and it sucks. You know what sucks more? Dwelling on the negativity and getting stuck in a rut instead of being proactive about life. Less friends means more time for hobbies, going out and exploring the world, doing something different you might’ve never done before. From my experience being an “old” farmer, stuff ways falls in your lap when you aren’t looking for it and you’re content and happy in life and in yourself. Is everything perfect hunky dory sunshine and rainbows? Nope, but you make the best with what you have, and talk to us bitter bitches when you’re feeling extra lonely.
There's a difference between being sensitive/emotional and having bpd… Sounds to me like you're overanalysing it.
I have anxiety and am also pretty socially awkward, which causes a lot of strong emotions. So for a while I was scared that I had bpd too. But my therapist said I'm way too careful and 'set in my ways' for that to be the case. I think people overdiagnose it. Then again, I don't feel extreme love or hatred towards people, more like strong disappointment or appreciation, so it could be different for you.
Idk, from your post it sounds like you tend towards navel gazing a bit too much.
Yeah, I don't really actually know unless I see a psychiatrist or something, (and even then I could be misdiagnosed), which I can't right now because the NHS is too busy with other shit.
But idk - reading through the diagnostic criteria for bpd was a really "holy shit this is describing my life" moment for me, and I'm really not the sort to self diagnose from reading stuff of the internet, this is a first for me.
When you feel what you call "strong disappointment" do you feel really at angry that person? Like most of the time I know it's not their fault and it's just my fucked up emotions overreacting, but I just really hate them no matter what my rational brain says. I don't think the problem is that I"m overanalysing, because it's this repeating problem I've had since childhood and I've only somewhat recently been able to verbalise what happens.
I'm not really socially awkward or anxious, I'm good with people and make friends and start conversations very easily. I just can't KEEP friends.
I mean, depends on what the person did to slight me. When someone does you dirty it's normal to think "god, what an arsehole" and be angry, maybe even want petty revenge if it's bad enough though I'd never actually do this. I've seen lots of people who get really upset but don't have anything wrong with them other than a short fuse, so to speak. They tend to be working class mostly.
If someone freeloads on an assignment and I have to do all the work yeah I'm going to feel annoyed, but I won't think that the person is Literally Hitler or anything, just a bit of a cunt. I'm not going to trust them again and might drop them as a friend unless it's just a one-time thing and they talk to me about it, but I'm not going to think they're bad or burn their house down or anything. On the same note, when someone's nice to me I'll think well of them until proven otherwise and I might cling to them a tiny bit since I'm socially awkward but I don't think they're the Best Ever and my opinion of them doesn't change until something happens that makes me change it.
What makes me sensitive is that I often get offended at certain things like being ignored in a group, or my bf's foot in mouth disease, and kind of mope around until something cheers me up. I'm also super anxious and jump to the worst conclusion pretty much all the time, but that's the only 'extreme' emotion I have. When I fall in love it's also really stressful and intense until I learn how to trust, then it gets much better. I'm also calmer now that I'm older.
Ultimately, emotions are really hard to explain and people experience them differently, and when I saw the checklist I was super scared too but the stuff on it is really generic. I asked my dad and bf to look at it for me (because lol anxiety) and they both said 'yeah, this doesn't sound like you at all' so your own opinion of yourself is probably skewed to boot.
At the end of the day if you don't engage in extreme or destructive behaviour towards either yourself or your friends, I think you're probably more okay than you think.
Hmm, maybe you're right. I've done stuff like self harm and ed-like behaviour in the past, but never gone too extreme. Overall, I'm good at keeping myself in check.
I just really can't stand how out of control my emotions run at times, especially in terms of suddenly hating the people I love over perceived slights (like when I know they haven't done anything wrong, I still feel "betrayed") and swinging from one extreme to another.
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Pretty much anything that gets you outside of the house and somewhere else. Every place I’ve ever lived has multiple dance studios and plenty of classes for beginners. Going to a local zoo can probably get you involved in a nature club of some sort, volunteering at an animal shelter can give you not only a chance to interact with animals but also interact with people. Libraries or bookstores usually have book club advertisements, and libraries usually have advertisements for local events as well. Local concerts/music are a good way to interact with people from your town/city who will probably have the same tastes as you. Can’t think of anything else atm but here you go
This is exactly how I feel, anon. I have close female friends, just not like in that way? I wonder if this is just adulthood but other adults I know seem to have close friendships.
Is it so much to ask to just be able to have a female friend who wants to do…yknow, like, girly things? Without it having to be "ironic"? I just to be able to go to the pub and go round to their house and just, I don't know, be a girl! Without it being forced and boring?
I'm glad I'm not alone! That's exactly why I feel like I come across as immature, maybe this is what adult relationships are and I just don't realise it?
So far all my relationships have been really formal and business-like. You come in in the morning and say hi to each other, ask about each other's weekends, go to lunch, sit next to each other in a lecture, do odd favours for each other, sit next to each other in a meeting. But so far nobody has wanted to meet me outside of that setting to go to the cinema or have a spa day or have dinner together and talk about interesting things or ffs just sit in an apartment watching some shitty girly show and sharing a bottle of wine and discussing how hot Ian Somerhalder is. If someone agreed to that, I'd even provide the wine lol.
Yes, formal is exactly how I would label them. Like, you're sort of waiting for that moment where the relationship becomes a proper friendship and it just..never comes?
Right! That sounds perfect to me, but none of the friends I have now are really that type of person. It's fine, I love my friends for all their differences, but I feel like I'm lacking an actual real friendship where we can be ourselves around each other, you know?
There was a girl who I was best friends with for so long, and it was literally like we were made for each other. We talked every single night for hours, would do the most fun things like ice skating and then go to the pub afterwards, and we had so much in common. And then we just drifted and now she retweets lots of Katie Hopkins onto my Twitter timeline and our friendship is punctuated by weeks between our messages and the feeling that neither one of us is particularly interested in continuing the friendship. It's kinda sad. I want that level of friendship with someone else. But how.
Honestly, this was one thing I loved about being in a sorority. Yeah, we did the somewhat stereotypical stuff (mixers and what not) but we also took our philanthropy super seriously and I had a group of close knit friends that I could do silly/girly stuff with. Manicures, sewing tulle tutus, spending 2 hours at Sephora, spa days, playing Uno, Harry Potter movie marathons, whatever. And they were my sisters
which felt amazing as an only child.
After graduating, so many of us drifted apart. A couple of the girls I was closest to totally ghosted me. Didn't even show up to my wedding. I've been super lonely ever since and just want to be close to another woman or group of women again, but it's hard.
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I find that guys I randomly bump into at bars or on the street really just want to get into my pants but if I go to a meeting that is specifically about an event guys treat me platonically there. Like everyone at the young republicans meetings just wants to talk about the upcoming shoot or the guest speaker
same, anon. i'm generally a very physical person and used to have lots of close girl friends in school (small town where everyone knew everyone since birth) and we would like have sleepovers and walk in elbows and such, but I moved for uni ~3 years ago now and I don't think I've hugged my closest girl friends here once despite them normally being affectionate with their other friends. it honestly hurts me.
and in these years I've grown apart from my friends back home too so it feels extremely lonely and like I'm some sort of incelkin creep longing for platonic touch (sounds fucking retarded, I know).
Stop going there. I used to frequent r9k, red pill and incel communities just out of curiosity but it made me a mess. I was starting to buy into their stupid beliefs as if it were normal and I became very distrustful.
Haven't visited in months now and I feel so much better.
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It just depresses me because growing up I never had female friends. I hung around guys because those were the only ones who enjoyed video games and anime. As we graduated high school, we went our separate ways and they began to turn on me because this was the beginnings of normies clamoring into nerd hobbies for attention. It caused a lot of heartbreak to have my friends since grade school drop me for being a girl, because it didn't matter when I was 5 years old, but it suddenly mattered when I was 17/18.
The only times I managed to make friends with girls has been online and its always ended in disaster. One was in 2012 from Gaia Online and she was some batshit Mexican from California who thought she was the real life Fluttershy and every other (including my ex girlfriends) has been girls who I feel this weird maturity gap with. Like, I want to be able to have female friends to be goofy with yet they also aren't so codependent. But all of them had these weird issues where I felt as if I was mentally more mature and going places in life and they were just content with still living at home, working a shitty retail job, not finishing uni, and still allowing their parents to give them curfews well into their late 20s.
It sounds lame as fuck, but I idealized the friendships in Sailor Moon, MLP, etc because I've never had it.
jfc, are you me? I had male friends up until second year of high school and it was depressing, because all i ever wanted was real girl friends who would game with me, but also play with dolls/action figures.
Once i started growing breasts, my male friends treated me differently and a lot of grew apart. It's so depressing. I honestly just wanted female friends my age into gaming, but every single one was a super stereotypical feminine girl into barbies and nail polish and i hated all that shit.
Anon you're replying to, here.
I know, it blows. I copypasted that from another thread I posted it in. What I also don't appreciate it being made to feel as if I had to choose between femininity and hobbies deemed as masculine. There shouldn't be this prerequisite of being ugly or unkempt in order to enjoy anime or video games. Once the acne clears and your braces come off people act as if you changed as a person even though you're still going home and doing the same shit after school and a part-time job.
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Really late reply, but I'm sorry to hear that.. Its awful. Jfc I hate being reminded that people like this are out there.
Maybe you're just too forgiving or trusting? I found with my former friend/girlfriend that I was too laid back and never wanted her to be angry with me.
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Has anyone cut themselves off entirely from befriending other girls online and stayed strictly to doing it offline?
Yes, I realised that what I wanted out of friendships was irl stuff like just sitting in a room together. Finding friends online seemed easier but even after getting to know someone, it would also just leave me lonely still because I want someone to hang out with not to just text
It's much harder to find friends irl and I'm still working on making the same kind of connections that you can get instantly online, but I'm working on it
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Have any of you ever dealt with other girls who prey on the stereotype that we're supposed to be maternal and forgiving?
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I work in a close knit female-dominated job and we hired a girl that was like that. Any time any of the girls were nice to her, she'd latch onto them and start trying to use them as her therapist, always revealing seriously personal info and literally running around crying in front of customers trying to find whoever she was latched onto at the time. One wrong move and she'd go make up some shit about them to our boss. It was fucking exhausting. She ended up quitting a few months in though, thank god.>>74999
The fact that you're aware of it is a good step in the right direction. I doubt you'd ever be like that.
Late reply to the late reply. Definitely something like that. I think I'm not trusting enough so it takes a certain kind of fucked up persistence and persuasion to gain it. Then I just end up putting all my eggs in one basket and forgive red flags and poor behavior because it took a lot out of me to actually get to the point of trust.
I think I'm in the beginning stages of learning to change though. I just pulled back from a new female friendship. Pretty disappointing, but I think it was a step toward future healthy friendships. Or not, but I'd rather be a loner than be a part of some parasitic shit.
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it sucks that I will never have those friends you spent 10 hours a day with like I did in middle school.
I have found friends by getting involved in politics I joined my young republicans club and they sent me to the state Convention. There were only 3 girls compared to 7 guys so all the girls carpooled and shared a hotel room. I spent like 8 hours in the car with my room mates and got to learn a lot about them. I like meeting them at the monthly meetings.
I would suggest just trying to find a girly group that meets everymonth and go to those meetings
Omg anon I actually made some friends by getting involved with my city's socialist party, and then I started dating a libertarian. One of the girls was pissy at me for it, but he was really nice I thought they just needed to meet him.
I brought him to a party, and my friend told everyone that he was libertarian. Like… everyone. I left for one min, and some shit went down. There was a huge disagreement over gun ownership between him and some other guy. The rest of the people started ganging up on the guy I was dating.
Someone actually went out, lit an American flag on fire and started pissing on it. I don't know where the American flag even came from, but a group of them did this exact thing when George Zimmerman was found innocent. So I think they honestly kept flags on hand to burn them.
Anyway I was never invited to hang out with them again :/ I'm also not socialist anymore, so whatever.
The problem with befriending people based on common beliefs is that if your beliefs change, your friends drop you.
What the fuck, aren't libertarians and socialists both on the similar end of the spectrum? (britfag here)
Here you'd get some ribbing but I can't imagine that unless you had clashing between two complete opposites such as a room of lefties and one person screaming that gays should be executed.
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>>75190>I don't know where the American flag even came from, but a group of them did this exact thing when George Zimmerman was found innocent. So I think they honestly kept flags on hand to burn them.>>75226
libertarians are like ancaps i think? so different ends of the economic spectrum. also a britfag though so might be wrong
The first half of this is exactly my experiences with friends. My heart is still broken from it. Why couldn't we grow up together etc. etc.
I'm so sorry you haven't had success with putting yourself out there.. I haven't bothered and it's because of what you've said that I didn't try…. sort of confirming it, haha.. arghh..
Extremely OT but here’s a quick explanation of why that ended up causing conflict.
Libertarians and Socialists seem like they would get along, but Socialists believe in big governments with lots of social intervention- taxing of people and redistributing of wealth, more laws to help regulate business and the social dynamic in the country. Libertarians believe governments should do the bare minimum and human capital should determine everything else. Some of them even lean more towards anarchy.
Socialists and Libertarians both tend to have more liberal/progressive social attitudes- for example both groups were on the same side about the government regulating marriage and fought to legalize gay marriage and both are generally on the same side about the decriminalization of drugs.
Gun ownership is a VERY emotional topic in the US with mass shootings popping up so frequently in the news. Libertarians are going to favor fewer gun laws because they don’t believe in federal government dictating these laws and they want the individual to be able to decide how they can protect themselves, Socialists will favor more gun laws because they believe in heavy government intervention to protect individuals.
>>75281> so bad at making gal pals
same girl, same>>75300
Understandable. I yearn for the days when I had girl friends to do casual shit together with all the time though, but I'm feeling it may just be an age thing, like after a certain point most people just don't socialize that way anymore. Still happy to keep in contact with her though, just considering out loud if what I want in general is still feasible for me to find in new friends or if I should learn to be more content with the friends I do have.
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IKTF about getting older I am 25 and lots of my single friends are getting married and having kids. At least once i hit my 60s I can hang out at the senior center and bullshit there
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I've worked at my female-dominated job for about a year now and some of my coworkers have started to invite me out. To be honest though, it's making me uncomfortable as fuck because I'm socially awkward and don't enjoy large groups. They've also started making comments about finding me a date and helping me get laid, which I have zero interest in. I keep saying no, but that led to them outrightly asking me if I'm gay. I'm not, but I don't like sleeping around like they do.
The whole thing is putting me off, even though I know they mean well and are just being outgoing and nice. I don't want to ostracize myself from everyone at work, but I just don't enjoy the kinds of stuff they do. I prefer doing quiet stuff like museums or staying home and being a weeb. What do?
Heck yes, I'm really hopeful for this too
I read an article about "lonely deaths" in Japan and I'm watching my own Grandmother stubbornly isolate herself in her home because she doesn't want to lose the house. It's making me think I need to accept social care when the time comes. Shitty gossip at bingo is better than dying friendless. >>75351
It looks like you've realised you need to change your own behavior first by not being a target anymore. Even if it sounds cheesey, when you become a good friend to yourself the rest can follow.
Agreed with everything until you started that 'not like the other girls' bullshit. Men are infinitely needier than women because 99% of the time they want in your pants, if girls were clingy I wouldn't lose contact with them so easily.
Anyway my lack of drive to actually make or keep friends is because I'm pretty satisfied by myself. I only ever miss it when there's something specific I want to do that would be more enjoyable or socially acceptable by myself. It's not that I dislike the friendships I haven't maintained, it just never occurs to me to try and keep up conversations via text or invite them places or anything.
I've never heard of it before, so i decided to google it and came across this article: https://www.bolde.com/i-tried-bumble-bff-to-find-friends-and-this-is-what-learned/
Doesn't sound too bad?
i've used it. many girls are super basic (atleast in my area) which was awkward.>inb4 some 'not like the other girls' comment. by basic bitch i don't even mean normalfag. i just mean that the article >>76487 posted was quite right. most basic girls display little to no personality outside of what is 'in' or acceptable. and convos with them just go nowhere.
there were quite a few bots probably spilling over from the dating side too. i guess my area isn't big enough.
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I joined a female Discord server and ended up leaving because whenever I tried to make an interaction it felt awkward and I felt neglected/ignored. It was ome of those 4chan-esque ones and I tried my best to get along, but maybe I was too cringy for them. Oh well. It was worth a shot.
I'll try the bumble bee app. I'm not really asking for much, just someone who I can have tea and unwind and talk with them and go to neat places together. But I probably sound whiny or whatever so I'm just jaded at this point. It's just frustrating because I personally feel like I'm always trying to make the effort and whenever I try to keep the friendship alive the other party doesn't give a crap. I just wish I found a female friend who reciprocated my efforts as much as I did and won't end up ghosting me for two weeks straight and expect me to always message them first.
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I haven't managed to make even a single friend in 2,5 years of university.
I'm feeling so miserable and lonely, i absolutely must succeed now.
I don't even want to aim as high as wishing to somehow get a boyfriend, i just want to have one female friend.
(I already tried joining a club to try and meet somebody there, but it didn't work out)
I'm just so socially awkward, i probably wouldn't even want to be friends with myself…
Please, any advice?
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I've been stuck for a while with my socialization being mostly online, very little irl interaction. What sucks about this is most of the girls that I meet and I try to befriend just look at each other like competition which fucking blows, especially when I'm more the cheerleader type for my friends and I'm happy being in the background. I've been able to make one female friend but I'm more of a mentor and guider to her than an actual equal friendship, she's absolutely lovely and the sweetest thing but goddamn is she dumb, at least when it comes to relationships and while I do treat her with care and I choose my words carefully, being honest to her and giving her advice when she comes to me is exhausting because there's always the risk she will become extremely upset and block me/disappear.
It sucks because I can't really talk to her about other topics other than general fashion/cute/hobbies. It is what it is though, beggars can't be choosers. Just kinda sucks
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what clubs did you join and what were the problems?
I joined some random ass clubs in college. I was a bio major but apart of the geology club just because they took hikes. I joined the agriculture club because I had a two hour gap between my lab and my night class
I joined the japanese club.
I know that doing something sports related would probably be better for socializing, but i've gained weight recently and would also be way too scared that only people who've already got friends join, with them together…
you should not let one bad experience turn you off from clubs for good. tbh I am a non weeb so I may be biased in thinking those clubs might have more tism than normal.
Assuming you go to a decently sized school there should be tons of clubs just find one and go to it. You make friends just by showing up over and over
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hi girls i wanted to update on using bumble bff. i think i'm going to recommend it as a good starting place.
i've been using the app very infrequently/casually for about a month. there were mostly "basic" type girls and i was swiping left a lot. i get along with your typical girly girls, but it is hard to find common ground/subjects to bond over. you know? i don't want to seem critical or judgmental. that's just been my experience. brunch, shopping and getting my nails done is fun every once and a while, but it's not really how i prefer to spend my quality time.
anyway, i ended up with about 5 girls who i actually found interesting.
i finally met up with one. it went way better than expected! we've only hung out a couple times, but she's way more my "friend-type" than anyone i've met in years. we're planning on a museum trip and some hiking in the future.
i think if you're in an area with a dense enough population, it's worth a shot! one of my guy friends told me he found it "creepy" but i think whatever he's imagining is not how it works. you can see people's instagrams, their spotify top artists, etc and get an immediate idea of where you have some common interests. so i think it can work in a really positive way.
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I've had female friends up to middle school and started getting some bad depression because of my family situation, the time i spend away from school made most of them avoid me when i was back and after moving multiple schools I've just ended up making a few female friends online instead, two years later of having those female friends they both tell me that they are actually male and just felt pity for me because i lacked any female contact in the past 5 years, now i'm just feeling like a massive dumbass and honestly don't even know how to normally speak to other females considering my interests are mainly gaming and art besides conspiracy theories about humans