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Townhall is scheduled for May 22nd, GMT 2PM.

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No. 69748

Is this a thread topic we haven't covered yet? I know we've got the friend finder, but that's not really a general thing, and advice thread is too broad. It seems like a lot of us have issues with this. Seems like a good thing to talk about. I'll post my question/story below.

No. 69749

I've been trying to get along with my boyfriend's sister for a while now. We're similar enough, so I thought it would be easy to become buddies, ya know? Instead, it seems like she much prefers her other brother's new girlfriend over me. It's just weird because boyfriend's sister is this kind of left wing, libfem and the new gf is a total bible thumping, anti-feminist Trump voter. I don't get it. I'm center left, at least. We have good conversations when we do actually talk. I've never been good at keeping female friends and I'm starting to wonder if I'm saying all the wrong things or am just not normal in some way.

No. 69766

Just say women instead of females. We aren't dogs.

No. 69771

>>69766
Sorry, I'm used to having to be specific because of trans who think the word "woman" refers to them as well. I didn't know the term "female" is somehow offensive?

No. 69772

>>69771
in some instances/contexts it's used in a dehumanizing way by shitty men. the way you used it was really not a big deal.

No. 69779

>>69749
I don't mean this in a shit way, but I would usually only warm up to one of my brother's girlfriends overtime because the other younger one was cheating on their gfs constantly and I felt hella fucking bad talking to them.

As for making female friends, just find someone with similar interests and bother them on facebook or line or whatever. As long as you're polite and decent you'll make friends. Only real big diff I've seen with working friendships is that if you take our your frustrations and feelings out on people dudes in general seem more tolerant of it because they see women as overall more emotional and unable to control themselves, but women will know that's not true and rightfully tell you to go fuck yourself.

No. 69794

>>69779
Why not tell her your brother is a worthless piece of shit, or did he use you too?

No. 69798

>>69779
>dudes in general seem more tolerant of it because they see women as overall more emotional and unable to control themselves, but women will know that's not true and rightfully tell you to go fuck yourself.
LOL this. That's why "I'm not like the other girls uwu"-types are so infuriating – they've never spent enough time around people, usually other women, who are willing to call them out on their bullshit. I'm so thankful that I had female friends growing up for this reason tbh I used to tell lies all the time to seem cool and guys would just nod along whereas my female friends would immediately and openly call me out as the liar I was.

No. 69799

>>69798
Where are you guys finding decent male friends? Every guy friend I've encountered always ends up trying to "get out of the friendzone" , and pursue a relationship with me when I've made it clear from the get-go I'm not interested in dating right now. Even when I had a boyfriend, they'd just stop talking to me once they got to know me more finding out I have a bf. That's why I just stick with girl-friends

No. 69801

>>69799
I have one male friend and our relationship has always been close, but 100% platonic. He has a girlfriend now who I have also become friends with. It helps a lot if the guy just isn't attracted to you physically from the start.

No. 69804

>>69799
I have two close male friends and I think the reason I'm able to remain close to them is a) I've known them both since middle school, b) I speak to them primarily via the internet and not in-person (we all live in different cities), and c) when I do hang out with them in person I almost never hang out with just one of them, especially not when they're single. in other words you're probably better off befriending women lol.

No. 69811


No. 69812

Do most of us just have only brothers as siblings?
I feel like having a sister is a ready made friend and sets a framework for what a female friend should be.

No. 69819

>>69812
Hm, you might be on to something. I only have a brother.

No. 69820

>>69812
I have two brothers and no sisters and I didn't have too difficult a time making friends with girls growing up but all my lasting friendships have been with guys.

No. 69821

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>>69798

i had an equal amount of female and male friends in elementary school, then a tight nit group of best female friends in middle school (although i had a lot of male friends they just weren't my number 1) but when I moved and got to highschool i was plagued with only male friends. half of which only started to become my friend bc 'hurr durr a girl who plays vidya wow'.

i had a close female friend but after my depression and changing schools we kind of lost touch, and she became kind of a type of girl i wouldnt want to associate with because of the way she treats her boyfriends.

anyways, i dont mean to sound rude but i dont find that a lot of normie girls have a lot of substance. im sure a lot of girls do, but it's sometimes hard to tell when all I can do is small talk.
With guys i get this instant click and we can joke around and be friends but with women I dont.

It's so weird, I just want a close female friend to care for. Do feminine things like makeup, shopping, hair braiding, gossiping, walking around and going places, having lunch.
It's not that I don't want female friends, I really do, but it seems hard to find someone with ether a). same interests or b) same sense of humor.
You don't have to play videogames or exercise or idk whatever else autismo things im into to be friends but it's going to be awkward and hard to relate when we dont have similar humor or personality traits i suppose.

sorry for blogpost. I dont even need lots of them, I'd just really like a female friend

No. 69822

One thing about this site and crystal cafe is that a lot of people have similar hobbies, while in real life it's hard to find female friends with weeby interests whom also like fashion/beauty.

I've thought about using the friend finder thread, but always imagine meeting up with one of the "nasiolabial folds" anons or something. I doubt there is anyone in my area anyway, but still, while I would never want to post someone on here I can imagine getting close then later getting into a fight with an anon from this site. Theeeen having said person running to lolcow or another site to try to ruin your reputation (and destroy your life).

I've actually met a couple females recently I get along with and have some shared hobbies, but it's harder to find a female friend with shared hobbies who you really just click with…

No. 69823

>>69812
i have a sister but she was already moved out when i was born. grew up with brothers. you might be on to something…

No. 69825

I wish I could find a female friend who is into vidya, programming and other geeky stuff. Unfortunately I'm not really into makeup or fashion or gossip at all. I had a friend like that in high school but she moved to another country which hit me pretty hard. I still miss her. I did form some sort of friendship with other women that are into classical music, theater and cultural travel for example, but it's not the same. I wish I had a bff to goof around, someone with whom I could just bee myself. Everyone's so grown up and I don't feel like that quite yet.
I'm nearing 30s so maybe that's the reason? Is it really that difficult to find other women that share the same interest?

No. 69826

>>69812
Nah, I had a sister growing up but she was 9 years older than me. No brothers.

No. 69828

Right now my main squad at uni is the debate team, which is mostly guys. I also just stop talking with my ex-best friend who is a girl, and now my new best friend is a guy. I want to meet more girls but I don't know how.

It doesn't help that most of the girls at my school are in sororities.

No. 69832

>>69825
No, I know exactly how you feel, Anon. Your interests are the same as mine: vidya, gaming PCs, tech, etc. I’ve hit thirty just recently, though. I figured my lack of female friends had more to do with being introverted and down about it lately, maybe.

No. 69833

>>69825
>>69832
Nearing 30, geeky introvert and not a girlie girl. You guys want to start a club?

No. 69834

>>69821

Depends on the normie girl. They are less insecure, mentally ill and unstable in general. They are more generally less likely to try to drag you down. I have noticed this. Relevantly funnily enough, I hung out in a girl comm and I realised their self defeating attitude was sticking onto me and I found myself going "I don't feel like doing this important thing, because of y".

I also found myself to be having breakdowns more frequent, due to the coddling "we are mentally ill and proud of it!" - attitude. They were nice girls, but I just suddenly realised the self loathing, self defeating attitude and general complacency was sticking on to me too.

I hadn't had a mental breakdown this frequent in years and I had been wondering for a while why was it happening. Then I realised suddenly that they were enabling it, in their defense they were doing it thinking it was a comforting thing to do. In reality what was happening was that when the breakdown hit, they justified it for me.

Now to reiterate, I have nothing against the character of these people, they are generally nice. There were other major reasons why I decided not to hang out in this girlcomm too, but…

No. 69843

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>>69812

Yeah, two brothers, no sisters. Became a bit of a "not like other gurlz" girl due to having no close female friends (literally like.. 2 fairweather friends) and being quite viciously bullied, mostly by other girls on my grade. This went on from ages 7 to 16. I admit that I was quite socially retarded and my interests were on the autistic side, but as I was shy I wasn't even that obnoxious about them… I'm in my mid 20s and I still haven't experienced close female friendships. At this age it's even harder, everyone's becoming a mom and/or working hard I'm just depressed neetscum who's still afraid of other women bc of my past and I just feel like I have nothing in common with anyone my age, with other women even less so.

I don't know where I'm going with this, it's late and I'm getting sad just typing this. ;_;

No. 69850

>>69833
>>69832
>>69825
another anon with same interests and age lol

i used to work for a game shop with board games and magic, warhammer, that kind of shit, but 9.5/10 the ladies that would come in who werent regulars were ugu gamer gurlz and had to let all the guys know. it was the fucking worst. outside of that i had no social interactions so ive pretty much soured to trying to hang out with other girls of similar interests because it was always tits out at the guys and flaunt the newest vampire deck they had.

i secretly like to be girly but im not the best at it. i just like to get drunk play vidya fuck around with computer hardware and sell magic cards.

No. 69858

>>69850
>9.5/10 the ladies that would come in who werent regulars were ugu gamer gurlz and had to let all the guys know.
That's actually hilarious because the guys at my local card shop (as I imagine they are in most) are disgusting, fat, ugly, gatekeeping assholes to the girls. I have no idea why anyone would want to be attractive to them in any way.

No. 69860

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>>69821
I know that feeling. I tried to be friends with "normie" girls and honestly its a bit frustrating. But at the same time, I had an ex-friend who was more less normie but she was a total sly passive aggressive bitch.

Don't lose hope anon, I'm sure we can find girlfriends who we can mingle with. I'm still struggling to find one myself- especially one that isn't a leech and takes advantage that I come from a comfortable lifestyle. My mom always told me to find friends who at least share similar lifestyles so they don't grow envious or resentful of you, you know?

I'll post in that penpal friend finder thread. It's worth a shot as I live near a major city, Los Angeles.

I've had mostly male friends now but I've been looking for a decent female friend. Perhaps I'm just paranoid of being fucked over like last time? Either way, it would just be nice to find someone who understands me and vice versa.

No. 69863

>>69850
Anon vampires haven't been a relevant deck for several standard seasons lmao.

I also worked at a LGS for a couple of months. The women I saw there were very ugly and weird.

>>69860
>But at the same time, I had an ex-friend who was more less normie but she was a total sly passive aggressive bitch.

lol this was the same for me

No. 69864

>>69863
I'm digging the conquistador vampires right now, tho.

No. 69870

>>69794
I did tell the first one, but he went absolutely batshit after and I learned it was better to just avoid the situation entirely.

>>69799
I've met a lot through school or cons. Wear an anime tshirt or something. Some wanted to go out with me initially, (which I don't mind as long as they're not creepy, I usually like to get to know someone a year or so before I'll consider dating them) but once I got a boyfriend they calmed down and stuck around, and now a lot of them have partners too. The ones that don't are still good friends, I think there's around 7 of them. Admittedly one dude was really fucking crazy and refused my attempts to shut things down with him, but I don't think that reflects on the rest of the people I know.

No. 69877

>>69858
thats why its boggling, theyre fucking ugly here too. after every fnm it reeks. i had to come in a bleach the place so that for saturday pokemon it smelled like a meth lab.

>>69863
yea which made it even worse. that and dont get them started on their shitty avacyn deck comprised of only shadows over innistrad set. i wish these were only caricature portrayals but its all too real.

>>69864
ive seen some fun vampire combos but it seems to be combo of vampire and something else.

>commence to embarrass myself with mtg sperg

No. 69880

so does anyone have any good strategies on how to make other female friends? im into fashion/makeup and want to make other female friends who r also into that but even though i dress well and look fashionable now i get intimidated by other fashionable women like im in high school again

No. 70277

my mum picked on me growing up and i got bullied in highschool and the girls i thought were my close friends actual envied my style and looks and never were there for me when i needed friends and also stayed friendly to people they knew hurt me in a bad way.

i have no idea how to make female friends. the last group i had was because we all worked together, take that out of the equation and we're just fb friends now

i met my bf's best mate gf and i loved her style and thought she was funny but she hates me, and openly mocks me. i remember we went out for halloween and there's a photo of her pulling a face at me which wasn't suppose to be seen.

idk why i can't win over girls. but i also psych myself out when there's a new girl being introduced and distance myself just because i'm sick of being bullied you know

No. 70285

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It’s kind of sad reading these and looking at this thread. It’s kind of cliche but girls, if you want a true good girly friend, be yourself. Make the conscious descision to talk and interact with females around you. Ask about places to get your hair cut, compliment their outfit, ask about something like a pin they’re wearing or a great place for tacos or something!

It sounds like a lot of you who are struggling with making girl friends is that you have self confidence issues. Nobody wants to be around a Debbie downer that hates themselves, even normies can sense this and will avoid you like the plague. Learn to give no fucks.

No. 70288

Why are other girls so hard to talk to sometimes? I used to think when I was younger that I get along with girls better than guys, but now it seems like I don't get along with anyone. I mean like, I can be polite and friendly and we can even become acquaintances. But never like full blown friends. Like, we socialize in class or at work but never more than that. I've even exchanged numbers with people but never text. Like, do I text first? Would they think I was weird? I just don't know. Does having social media help? Because I've always rejected using snapchat, instagram, facebook, etc. But it seems that everyone has that and only communicates that way. Should I just use it? But then I wouldn't have any friends on those things, which would just make me sad. I don't understand.

No. 70291

File: 1510793616366.gif (2.35 MB, 500x280, 4vlbGur.gif)

Omg I kind of needed this thread lol.

My parents display really narcissistic traits, and I'm just now realizing the effect it's had on my inability to form meaningful friendships. I keep in touch with one or two female friends from school, but that's it. I really wish I could have a best friend.

>Tfw pic related is your dream lol

No. 70303

The very short lived friendships with other women I've struck up while very drunk.

No. 70305

I felt very sad while reading this thread. I hope you all will get to meet a fun female that would be a great friend one day. It's not that hard, even the most normie women (after you get to know them better) become intresting and nice to be around.
I've never really had a lot of male friends, but I have few girl friends whom I love dearly. I honestly think that I won't ever be able to develop romantic relationship in which I am as close to guy as to my female friends. Especially two of them, I can goof around, say silly things and just be yourself the whole time and the other person is happy. I have similar interests with some of my friends (weeb stuff, vidya, make up, etc.) but few are vastly different from me. I still adore them, though! We had best times of our lives with each other.
My main hobbies are literature and history but I have yet to meet a person who is as obsessed with it as I am, so I just use specific forums.

No. 70363

>>70285
Being true to oneself is so hard tho…i really have no idea who i really am tbh
I often dress comfortably with no makeup in hopes of looking more approachable and friendly to other girls but when i end up talking to a super pretty and put well together one, it just makes me so freaking self conscious…
I can't even force myself to laugh and i'm so boring that i probably wouldn't even want to be friends with myself

>>70288
For me it's the same; i nticed that a lt of girls on here write that they relate more to boys, but i'm not good with either.
I sometimes manage to chat up girls in class, but never more than that… Is it because for some reason i myself don't notice, i'm unlikeable or weird?

>>70291
Mine as well, absolutely. I just want one friend with whom i can do dumb shit girls do while i'm still young…

No. 70364

I only realized how important girl friends are after I lost all of mine. Time really hurts relationships sometimes and it sucks, especially into your late twenties. I've always had girl friends, but never a best friend who was a girl. I just don't know how to meet people outside of bars, really.

Does anyone else make friends easily, but can't keep them because of being introverted?

No. 70365

>>70288
In my experience social media makes no difference. I have it and it just makes me feel even more sad and isolated because instead of just being alone I have to be alone and see people being with others. The shallow "acquaintance interactions" are the worst.

No. 70387

I used to have a best girl friend but she was flaky and turned out to be crazy so I dumped her. Now I am sad i don't have that kind of person in my life even though we would only hang out for real a couple of times a year. My new best friend is a guy who is a homebody so I can't do any of the crazy girl things I did with my ex bf.

>>70285
I initiate conversation with both guys and girls but it doesn't seem like people are interested in taking things further. I do like a lot of things about myself but it really crushes my confidence when I get rejected so much. I've tried to have more confidence but it's not enough.

>>70364
I like to meet new people and we seem to hit it off ok but I don't know what to do after I meet them. It seems like people are too busy with their social groups and don't want to hang out with me.

No. 70397

>>69821
Same for same sense of humour.
It's weird, I had mainly female friends until I was 16, and I found them funny and had a great time with minimal drama, but for the last few years I've been studying some very male dominated subjects I've had trouble finding new female friends. I just haven't "clicked" with the ones I've met, and they're often a bit idk, bland? Or just lacking in confidence to act like themselves.
Idk, where have all the actually cool women gone?
I don't want to be like one of "I'm not like other girls" types, but I just can't seem to find other women I relate to anymore, and that scares me.

No. 70398

>>70397
And if they're not bland, they're the annoying histrionic type I have no patience for.

But thinking more about it, I think my problem's just the small pool of choices of women in my subject, I tend to be very picky about people in general, but of course with so many men I was bound to find a few good eggs.

No. 70411

Meh i pretty much gave up on having friends. The ones that i had have literally all been catty, mean jealous bitches.
Maybe its because 99% of the women where i live look like hideous hambeasts.

I really wish i could meet other qt girls who love girly stuff and are nice but they are practically non existant over here. Its really lonely but at least i have my fiance.

No. 70412

I moved to another country with my SO, and while I have male and female friends here, I don't have any genuine connections. I connect with people on super shallow levels, but almost nobody here actually shares my interests. The only women I'm friends with live hours away or back in my home country, and I'd feel too needy if I was constantly trying to talk to them. Idk. I'm not alone but I'm so lonely.

No. 70431

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>>70363
>>70387

You “try” to have more confidence, but there’s a difference between trying to be happy with who you are as a person and actually being happy with yourself. Seems kinda harsh but it reminds me of the “I’m so lonely I’ll never find love uwu” people on anime forums and ok cupid. Sometimes gasp you’ll have gaps in your life where your friend herd, relationships, money etc thin out and it sucks. You know what sucks more? Dwelling on the negativity and getting stuck in a rut instead of being proactive about life. Less friends means more time for hobbies, going out and exploring the world, doing something different you might’ve never done before. From my experience being an “old” farmer, stuff ways falls in your lap when you aren’t looking for it and you’re content and happy in life and in yourself. Is everything perfect hunky dory sunshine and rainbows? Nope, but you make the best with what you have, and talk to us bitter bitches when you’re feeling extra lonely.

No. 70434

>>70431
Not that I'm disagreeing with what you're saying, but I just wanted to say it annoys me when people assume that everybody has at the least a small group of friends or any friends at all.

No. 70441

I've always wanted a "best friend" since I was a little girl. I had one for half a year, we were practically attached and did everything together but then I got backstabbed hard by her which kinda fucked me up, as dramatic as that sounds.

>>70429

I feel you, though I get very intense about relationships in general. I try to hide it, but I don't know what "normal" is and end up overcompensating and seeming disinterested.
I think I have BPD or something like it, because I get crazy intense emotions all the time and always bounce between revering and really HATING the people I know (though luckily I'm good at hiding it around them).
Idk, it's fucked up, I just want to be close to people but push them away because I'm so scared of rejection and I know what I'm doing wrong but I don't know how to change.

No. 70444

>>70441
There's a difference between being sensitive/emotional and having bpd… Sounds to me like you're overanalysing it.

I have anxiety and am also pretty socially awkward, which causes a lot of strong emotions. So for a while I was scared that I had bpd too. But my therapist said I'm way too careful and 'set in my ways' for that to be the case. I think people overdiagnose it. Then again, I don't feel extreme love or hatred towards people, more like strong disappointment or appreciation, so it could be different for you.

Idk, from your post it sounds like you tend towards navel gazing a bit too much.

No. 70448

>>70444
Hey I feel the same, thought I had bpd but nah I just have super strong emotions, always disappointed from expecting too much from other people

No. 70449

>>70431
What are some good hobbies to pick up to meet people?

No. 70451

>>70444
Yeah, I don't really actually know unless I see a psychiatrist or something, (and even then I could be misdiagnosed), which I can't right now because the NHS is too busy with other shit.

But idk - reading through the diagnostic criteria for bpd was a really "holy shit this is describing my life" moment for me, and I'm really not the sort to self diagnose from reading stuff of the internet, this is a first for me.

When you feel what you call "strong disappointment" do you feel really at angry that person? Like most of the time I know it's not their fault and it's just my fucked up emotions overreacting, but I just really hate them no matter what my rational brain says. I don't think the problem is that I"m overanalysing, because it's this repeating problem I've had since childhood and I've only somewhat recently been able to verbalise what happens.

I'm not really socially awkward or anxious, I'm good with people and make friends and start conversations very easily. I just can't KEEP friends.

No. 70455

>>70411
I have a very similar problem, you should add me on discord chapoo #9603

No. 70461

>>70451
I mean, depends on what the person did to slight me. When someone does you dirty it's normal to think "god, what an arsehole" and be angry, maybe even want petty revenge if it's bad enough though I'd never actually do this. I've seen lots of people who get really upset but don't have anything wrong with them other than a short fuse, so to speak. They tend to be working class mostly.

If someone freeloads on an assignment and I have to do all the work yeah I'm going to feel annoyed, but I won't think that the person is Literally Hitler or anything, just a bit of a cunt. I'm not going to trust them again and might drop them as a friend unless it's just a one-time thing and they talk to me about it, but I'm not going to think they're bad or burn their house down or anything. On the same note, when someone's nice to me I'll think well of them until proven otherwise and I might cling to them a tiny bit since I'm socially awkward but I don't think they're the Best Ever and my opinion of them doesn't change until something happens that makes me change it.

What makes me sensitive is that I often get offended at certain things like being ignored in a group, or my bf's foot in mouth disease, and kind of mope around until something cheers me up. I'm also super anxious and jump to the worst conclusion pretty much all the time, but that's the only 'extreme' emotion I have. When I fall in love it's also really stressful and intense until I learn how to trust, then it gets much better. I'm also calmer now that I'm older.

Ultimately, emotions are really hard to explain and people experience them differently, and when I saw the checklist I was super scared too but the stuff on it is really generic. I asked my dad and bf to look at it for me (because lol anxiety) and they both said 'yeah, this doesn't sound like you at all' so your own opinion of yourself is probably skewed to boot.

At the end of the day if you don't engage in extreme or destructive behaviour towards either yourself or your friends, I think you're probably more okay than you think.

No. 70484

>>70461
Hmm, maybe you're right. I've done stuff like self harm and ed-like behaviour in the past, but never gone too extreme. Overall, I'm good at keeping myself in check.

I just really can't stand how out of control my emotions run at times, especially in terms of suddenly hating the people I love over perceived slights (like when I know they haven't done anything wrong, I still feel "betrayed") and swinging from one extreme to another.

No. 70499

I find I have 100 different personalities and interests that make it hard for me to find someone I connect with on all levels. My only girl friends I can be 100% myself with I’ve known since I was 4, and since I’ve recently moved I never see them… although that’s improved our relationship. I find I do better with friends when it’s not expected for me to hangout or chat with them all the time. It becomes a chore for me, and they take it personally when I’m not up to hanging out, when really it’s bevause I’m exhausted/depressed/both. My boyfriend is the only one I can see everyday and not get tired of it, but I think that’s because it’s not expected of me to be hyper and silly and smiley the whole time unlike when I spend time with my friends. I’ve literally been unable to make and keep friends outside of those two childhood girls though. I’m like a normie on the outside and love shopping and makeup and girly shit, but then I’m also a huge fucking nerd who is obsessed with comics, manga, anime and video games. Anyone who relates to me on one end can’t relate on the other end, so once again I’m left not feeling like myself when we hangout. And I just can’t keel up with texting and socializing all the time. Does anyone else have this problem? I truly feel like a loner and like Maybe I’m just an asshole who doesn’t deserve friends? I know you need to put effort into friendships and relationships, but sometimes it’s too much for me.

No. 70515

File: 1511302622490.gif (2.68 MB, 480x270, 190F0E87-15D5-4533-9DD3-3C8B86…)

>>70449
Pretty much anything that gets you outside of the house and somewhere else. Every place I’ve ever lived has multiple dance studios and plenty of classes for beginners. Going to a local zoo can probably get you involved in a nature club of some sort, volunteering at an animal shelter can give you not only a chance to interact with animals but also interact with people. Libraries or bookstores usually have book club advertisements, and libraries usually have advertisements for local events as well. Local concerts/music are a good way to interact with people from your town/city who will probably have the same tastes as you. Can’t think of anything else atm but here you go

No. 70517

I wish I had like…proper girlfriends. I'm not antisocial by any means. I have a lot of friends, guys and girls, but no real friends who I can be stereotypically girly with. You know like, go and get our nails done together, go for drinks together, talk about actual things. I don't know. It kinda sucks.

No. 70518

I have a lot of female friends and don't have a problem socalising with other women but for some reason I have a really hard time forming a CLOSE relationship with another girl.

Growing up, I had the same best friend for years. We had sleepovers every weekend, brought each other on holiday, saw every film/tv show from that era with each other, went shopping and trying on clothes together, had our own language which nobody else understood, sat next to each other everywhere we went. We got each other 100% and it was the ultimate feeling of comfort around another person I've ever felt. We were inseparable, like twins.

I've tried many times to form that kind of relationship again but it never works out. A lot of the time, girls I start getting close to expect me to stop seeing my bf. Most other girls aren't interested in cute girly things like sleepovers or getting our nails done together. I feel like every relationship I've had since then has been so formal and boring. I just want to be myself around someone again and do the things I can't do with my bf.

TLDR; had a best friend as a child and I crave that kind of relationship now but can't seem to get close enough to another girl to have it.

Do I seem immature? Or is this a common thing among adult women?

No. 70519

>>70518

This is exactly how I feel, anon. I have close female friends, just not like in that way? I wonder if this is just adulthood but other adults I know seem to have close friendships.

Is it so much to ask to just be able to have a female friend who wants to do…yknow, like, girly things? Without it having to be "ironic"? I just to be able to go to the pub and go round to their house and just, I don't know, be a girl! Without it being forced and boring?

No. 70520

>>70519
I'm glad I'm not alone! That's exactly why I feel like I come across as immature, maybe this is what adult relationships are and I just don't realise it?

So far all my relationships have been really formal and business-like. You come in in the morning and say hi to each other, ask about each other's weekends, go to lunch, sit next to each other in a lecture, do odd favours for each other, sit next to each other in a meeting. But so far nobody has wanted to meet me outside of that setting to go to the cinema or have a spa day or have dinner together and talk about interesting things or ffs just sit in an apartment watching some shitty girly show and sharing a bottle of wine and discussing how hot Ian Somerhalder is. If someone agreed to that, I'd even provide the wine lol.

No. 70521

>>70520
Yes, formal is exactly how I would label them. Like, you're sort of waiting for that moment where the relationship becomes a proper friendship and it just..never comes?

Right! That sounds perfect to me, but none of the friends I have now are really that type of person. It's fine, I love my friends for all their differences, but I feel like I'm lacking an actual real friendship where we can be ourselves around each other, you know?

There was a girl who I was best friends with for so long, and it was literally like we were made for each other. We talked every single night for hours, would do the most fun things like ice skating and then go to the pub afterwards, and we had so much in common. And then we just drifted and now she retweets lots of Katie Hopkins onto my Twitter timeline and our friendship is punctuated by weeks between our messages and the feeling that neither one of us is particularly interested in continuing the friendship. It's kinda sad. I want that level of friendship with someone else. But how.

No. 70522

>>70518
ugh I get this, I love to go back in time with my teenage self and go to the mall and get drinks with friends and get our nails done, cheesy shit like board games, going to the movies, shopping, work out, gossip, etc etc, nowadays when me and my female friends get together all they do is go on snapchat and talk about their bfs, I miss the 2000s

No. 70528

>>70518
This makes me kind of sad. When I was younger I had moved a lot, so it made it hard to get super close with someone. In like 6th/7th grade, I got super close with this other girl. We always had sleepovers and hung out. My grandma would even take us to get our nails done sometimes. Then one day, I was like saying something about how we were best friends. And she was like, "No, you're not my best friend. She moved to South Dakota 2 years ago." It kind of hurt.

No. 70553

>>70522
Honestly, this was one thing I loved about being in a sorority. Yeah, we did the somewhat stereotypical stuff (mixers and what not) but we also took our philanthropy super seriously and I had a group of close knit friends that I could do silly/girly stuff with. Manicures, sewing tulle tutus, spending 2 hours at Sephora, spa days, playing Uno, Harry Potter movie marathons, whatever. And they were my sisters which felt amazing as an only child.

After graduating, so many of us drifted apart. A couple of the girls I was closest to totally ghosted me. Didn't even show up to my wedding. I've been super lonely ever since and just want to be close to another woman or group of women again, but it's hard.

No. 70720

File: 1511592815410.png (460.56 KB, 674x666, 1478121138432.png)

>>69799
I find that guys I randomly bump into at bars or on the street really just want to get into my pants but if I go to a meeting that is specifically about an event guys treat me platonically there. Like everyone at the young republicans meetings just wants to talk about the upcoming shoot or the guest speaker

No. 70742

I kind of can't be just friends with girls. When I really like them, I really really like them. Such are the joys of being a bisexual.

No. 70815

Yeah I have trouble establishing a connection with other women, and it's not through lack of trying. At my old job I'd usually be working with people for about a week straight, and by the end I'll think I got through to her only for her to create an even strogner bond within a few hours with another girl that comes along, telling personal stories and being affectionate and hugging each other goodbye etc.
Whereas I was just proud that she talked at length about something in her personal life, or recalled a piece of information I told her.
I really think it's subconscious vibes I give off, because I remember one girl asking me if it was alright to touch me for some reason, when I considered her one of the closest female friends in my class. So I really do think I have "stay away" vibes even if I'm friendly.
I mean people in general seem to like me when I make an effort, but I never really get close.

No. 70819

>>70720
same anon here. Even events, I still get the same thing. Went to a career fair for my college and random guy volunteering there asks if I need help and does his pitch for his booth, then offers to help me find my way because I was looking for a specific career booth. Then couldn't find it and he just kept the conversation going and asked for my number :|

No. 70824

>>70815
same, anon. i'm generally a very physical person and used to have lots of close girl friends in school (small town where everyone knew everyone since birth) and we would like have sleepovers and walk in elbows and such, but I moved for uni ~3 years ago now and I don't think I've hugged my closest girl friends here once despite them normally being affectionate with their other friends. it honestly hurts me.
and in these years I've grown apart from my friends back home too so it feels extremely lonely and like I'm some sort of incelkin creep longing for platonic touch (sounds fucking retarded, I know).

No. 70858

Anyone else sick of all the stereotypes associated with BPD girls, on that note?

I really need to stop going to /r9k/…

No. 70874

>>70858
Stop going there. I used to frequent r9k, red pill and incel communities just out of curiosity but it made me a mess. I was starting to buy into their stupid beliefs as if it were normal and I became very distrustful.
Haven't visited in months now and I feel so much better.

No. 70893

>>70858
Seconding other anon, that place is a trash fire and even the robots that frequent there get sucked into the toxic mentality. It's an echo chamber for a lot of bad and incorrect shit. It's like pol's socially inept brother board.

No. 70895

>>70742
This, I'm a lesbian and I want female friends since all my friends are men but whenever I start talking to a girl I just start crushing on her. That's when the autism kicks in and I just end up breaking off contact.

No. 70900

>>70742
same here anon. It's like I can't form really close relationships without crushing on them, then I take it too far and ruin it

No. 70906

>>70858
>>70874
>>70893
/r9k/ is garbage, I tend to end up there when I'm feeling hella depressed or pessimistic and it just makes it worse. I now stay as far away from it as possible, do yourself the same justice anon. We don't need to constantly read their vitriolic shit, you are a sweet baby angel who isn't defined by some angry incels.

No. 70933

>>70858
I'm sick of the diagnosis in general. It needs to be replaced with C-PTSD. It's literally all the same fucking symptoms without the stigma.

No. 70934

>>70874
I lost a few friends to that board. It is actually that bad. Same thing almost happened to me with /pol/, but then I found a job and went back to school.

No. 70936

>>70858
even just going to /tv/ fucks me up, /r9k/ and /pol/ have infected it.

No. 70989

>>70933
Except they're nothing alike and the symptoms aren't even remotely the same. C-PTSD is reserved for those with repeated trauma, not crazy retarded BPD snowflakes with mood swings who like to believe they're broken for no reason. Why don't you read into the symptoms a little before spreading misinformation.

No. 72086

File: 1514410211005.png (323.94 KB, 478x576, 3640.png)

It just depresses me because growing up I never had female friends. I hung around guys because those were the only ones who enjoyed video games and anime. As we graduated high school, we went our separate ways and they began to turn on me because this was the beginnings of normies clamoring into nerd hobbies for attention. It caused a lot of heartbreak to have my friends since grade school drop me for being a girl, because it didn't matter when I was 5 years old, but it suddenly mattered when I was 17/18.

The only times I managed to make friends with girls has been online and its always ended in disaster. One was in 2012 from Gaia Online and she was some batshit Mexican from California who thought she was the real life Fluttershy and every other (including my ex girlfriends) has been girls who I feel this weird maturity gap with. Like, I want to be able to have female friends to be goofy with yet they also aren't so codependent. But all of them had these weird issues where I felt as if I was mentally more mature and going places in life and they were just content with still living at home, working a shitty retail job, not finishing uni, and still allowing their parents to give them curfews well into their late 20s.

It sounds lame as fuck, but I idealized the friendships in Sailor Moon, MLP, etc because I've never had it.

No. 72087

Sage, but I thought that this was interesting for workplace issues and socializing with other women.

No. 72178

>>70906
Agree. I had a friend who was going there regularly and it really fucked her up and messed with her ocd.

No. 72185

>>70906
>>72178
>>70874
>>70893

oh god this is so true. long time ago i used to go there everyday and i kept gaining weight and started hating everyone around me. that place is as toxic as it gets. i wasn't even doing it out curiosity, i was going there because i had nowhere else to go online (no friends either). it made me depressed as hell too, and as a lesbian it just made my self hatred get so much worse. after a while you just convince yourself that you don't deserve to be loved at all. i don't miss that place, and i don't think anyone should be there tbh.

No. 72226

>>72185
I don't think that its a very good place either. Especially if you already have some sort of condition. I'm glad to hear that you're doing better.

No. 72229

>>72086
jfc, are you me? I had male friends up until second year of high school and it was depressing, because all i ever wanted was real girl friends who would game with me, but also play with dolls/action figures.

Once i started growing breasts, my male friends treated me differently and a lot of grew apart. It's so depressing. I honestly just wanted female friends my age into gaming, but every single one was a super stereotypical feminine girl into barbies and nail polish and i hated all that shit.

No. 72233

>>72229
Anon you're replying to, here.
I know, it blows. I copypasted that from another thread I posted it in. What I also don't appreciate it being made to feel as if I had to choose between femininity and hobbies deemed as masculine. There shouldn't be this prerequisite of being ugly or unkempt in order to enjoy anime or video games. Once the acne clears and your braces come off people act as if you changed as a person even though you're still going home and doing the same shit after school and a part-time job.

No. 72328

Has anyone ever had issues with their friends copying them to an intrusive extent?

My former friend/ex-girlfriend slowly began to copy me when we had first met. At the time, she never wore makeup because she said she didn't care about it, had a typical diet, and was majoring in theater. Within a span of 3-4 months she started wearing her makeup in the same way I did at the time (including purchasing the exact same products even when the colors didn't suit her tone), became a vegetarian like me (I was a vegetarian for a few years due to problems with digesting meat), and the final straw came when she announced happily that she was changing her major to my own.

I know it sounds petty to some people because it isn't as if I own that cosmetic brand or a career choice but how she went about it frightened and confused me. I felt bad when I eventually had to tell her how uncomfortable it made me and I learnt that she was (and still is) an exasperatingly codependent person. To this day she just attaches herself to movements, fandoms, and communities and regurgitates what their key figures say yet never has an organic point of view on her own.

No. 72340

>>72328
God, yes. While we were friends it wasn't too bad, just a little annoying. I figured it was normal and I was just being petty. Now that I ended the friendship it has entered the scary territory and I just want to vent about it to other friends but I can't.

No. 72342

>>72340
Bruh I'm here to listen.

No. 72345

>>72342
First was just speech patterns and phrases. Then shoes and clothing, changing hair color, and asking me to do her makeup like mine. Then music and movies. Then some weird stuff went down and I broke off contact. I eventually felt bad about breaking it off and checked out her social media to see how shes doing, and she's copying posts I made years ago, she got very specific tattoos I told her I was going to get once I was felt it wasn't financially irresponsible, she copied my art style and specific drawings I made for her even though she was never into art, she got a cat similar to mine (after dumping her last one at a pound.) I was stupid and desperate enough to agree to see her again once recently, and it was bizarre. She's like a different person. And to top it off she complained about another friend saying a phrase she says.

No. 72346

>>72345
I feel bad for both you and that cat she abandoned.. but maybe it found a better owner than her. I hope. Is your former friend also very codependent?

No. 72348

>no female or male friends
>can barely make eye contact with anyone
>too nervous to reach out to anyone in friend finder

I love social anxiety.

No. 72351

>>72348
Join the friend finder discord and chew the fat with us, it's a nice place but pretty dead

No. 72356

>>72351
Where's the join link?

No. 72360

>>72356
Here is is: >>70916

No. 72404

>>72360
Nta but thanks for the link!

No. 72432

>>72346
I found out it was put down the last time I saw her. Don't know how well I did to hide my anger about that. But yes she is also very codependent. I need to figure out what I'm doing wrong since I keep making the same kind of friend.

No. 73482

File: 1516160610689.png (266.52 KB, 500x450, 1488170154683.png)

>>72432
Really late reply, but I'm sorry to hear that.. Its awful. Jfc I hate being reminded that people like this are out there.

Maybe you're just too forgiving or trusting? I found with my former friend/girlfriend that I was too laid back and never wanted her to be angry with me.

No. 74470

File: 1517507006989.png (84.73 KB, 400x239, 196545.png)

Has anyone cut themselves off entirely from befriending other girls online and stayed strictly to doing it offline?

No. 74499

>>74470
yep, i have bad misconceptions about other girls and i feel like if i can see their body language and hear the expressions of their responses, i'm more likely to make a connection. a lot of girls just seem fake and not interested online, so i stopped bothering with using the internet as a means of making friends.

No. 74510

>>74470
Yes, I realised that what I wanted out of friendships was irl stuff like just sitting in a room together. Finding friends online seemed easier but even after getting to know someone, it would also just leave me lonely still because I want someone to hang out with not to just text
It's much harder to find friends irl and I'm still working on making the same kind of connections that you can get instantly online, but I'm working on it

No. 74711

I honestly dislike how all female groups can be overly forgiving even when people are being assholes..

No. 74942

File: 1518313566730.jpg (71.31 KB, 300x293, 1437738346174.jpg)

Have any of you ever dealt with other girls who prey on the stereotype that we're supposed to be maternal and forgiving?

No. 74965

>>70528
reading this broke my heart.

No. 74966

>>74711
I'm guilty of this along with my irl friend-group, it's how women are socialized, unfortunately. The upside is that we don't freak out and create unnecessary conflict every time someone slips up because, hey, that shit happens and we aren't the Real Housewives of Bullshit. The downside is that we all end up in situations that could have been avoided had we just said something, but luckily those are less common now that we're all older. We're more likely to sit down and talk shit out before it gets terrible, though, which is something we had to teach ourselves and each other.

No. 74999

>>74942
I'm mentally ill and legit my worst fear is becoming one of those girls.

No. 75008

File: 1518469312330.jpg (32.02 KB, 479x592, 75756.jpg)

>>74942
I work in a close knit female-dominated job and we hired a girl that was like that. Any time any of the girls were nice to her, she'd latch onto them and start trying to use them as her therapist, always revealing seriously personal info and literally running around crying in front of customers trying to find whoever she was latched onto at the time. One wrong move and she'd go make up some shit about them to our boss. It was fucking exhausting. She ended up quitting a few months in though, thank god.

>>74999
The fact that you're aware of it is a good step in the right direction. I doubt you'd ever be like that.

No. 75009

>>74999
I mean, at least you're self aware. My problem is with actual autistics who create problems within group settings, are self aware, but choose to do nothing to correct their behavior and instead fly off of the rails and say that anyone who dares to put them in their place is acting like their mommy. I dislike that we're socialized to just brush that sort of crap under the rug because it enables people. I have no idea why people think that life is some sort of Disney film where if you grant somebody a second chance they'll just wise up. Our comfy group was nearly ruined but thankfully the dipshit left.

No. 75062

>>73482
Late reply to the late reply. Definitely something like that. I think I'm not trusting enough so it takes a certain kind of fucked up persistence and persuasion to gain it. Then I just end up putting all my eggs in one basket and forgive red flags and poor behavior because it took a lot out of me to actually get to the point of trust.

I think I'm in the beginning stages of learning to change though. I just pulled back from a new female friendship. Pretty disappointing, but I think it was a step toward future healthy friendships. Or not, but I'd rather be a loner than be a part of some parasitic shit.

No. 75187

Do you guys think it's possible to make a best girl friend in your late 20's?

I had an extremely close group of girl friends in high school, but they broke apart in college. I remained close to one of them until about age 22. Because I was extremely depressed and coping with a traumatic event, it turned into a weirdly abusive dynamic where instead of helping me she decided she was "dominant" (her words) and took advantage of me.

I've had trouble making close girl friends since then, as I wasn't in the practice of making girl friends outside of my "group."

I've made girl friends at work who I get along with really well, but plans to hang out after work never seem to pan out except on the one-off night out for drinks which happens maybe once every 3 or so months. I think this is because they all have kept a close group of friends that they usually have plans to see. Which is understandable, they already see me 5 times a week.

It also makes sense that the close girl friends I've made in that time were transplants to my city in need of a friends group- and then all ultimately moved on to some other city for school/job-opportunities.

I really miss having someone to chat with all night on the couch while splitting a bottle of wine. And the inside jokes. And the girl's trips. Meh. It's depressing.

My attempts to change this have been through book clubs and classes. Again, I make acquaintances there, but nothing sticks! My current endeavor is going to be a women's bodybuilding program, and it starts this week. So this subject has been heavy on my mind. Because I'd like to hopefully meet a girl I could get close to here!

No. 75188

File: 1518932990711.png (489.18 KB, 900x900, 1518750562300.png)

>>75187
it sucks that I will never have those friends you spent 10 hours a day with like I did in middle school.

I have found friends by getting involved in politics I joined my young republicans club and they sent me to the state Convention. There were only 3 girls compared to 7 guys so all the girls carpooled and shared a hotel room. I spent like 8 hours in the car with my room mates and got to learn a lot about them. I like meeting them at the monthly meetings.

I would suggest just trying to find a girly group that meets everymonth and go to those meetings

No. 75190

>>75188
Omg anon I actually made some friends by getting involved with my city's socialist party, and then I started dating a libertarian. One of the girls was pissy at me for it, but he was really nice I thought they just needed to meet him.

I brought him to a party, and my friend told everyone that he was libertarian. Like… everyone. I left for one min, and some shit went down. There was a huge disagreement over gun ownership between him and some other guy. The rest of the people started ganging up on the guy I was dating.

Someone actually went out, lit an American flag on fire and started pissing on it. I don't know where the American flag even came from, but a group of them did this exact thing when George Zimmerman was found innocent. So I think they honestly kept flags on hand to burn them.

Anyway I was never invited to hang out with them again :/ I'm also not socialist anymore, so whatever.

The problem with befriending people based on common beliefs is that if your beliefs change, your friends drop you.

No. 75226

>>75190
What the fuck, aren't libertarians and socialists both on the similar end of the spectrum? (britfag here)

Here you'd get some ribbing but I can't imagine that unless you had clashing between two complete opposites such as a room of lefties and one person screaming that gays should be executed.

No. 75229

File: 1519071433676.gif (8.58 MB, 650x276, giphy (1).gif)

>>75190
>I don't know where the American flag even came from, but a group of them did this exact thing when George Zimmerman was found innocent. So I think they honestly kept flags on hand to burn them.

>>75226
libertarians are like ancaps i think? so different ends of the economic spectrum. also a britfag though so might be wrong

No. 75253

>>75187

The first half of this is exactly my experiences with friends. My heart is still broken from it. Why couldn't we grow up together etc. etc.

I'm so sorry you haven't had success with putting yourself out there.. I haven't bothered and it's because of what you've said that I didn't try…. sort of confirming it, haha.. arghh..

No. 75263

>>75226
Extremely OT but here’s a quick explanation of why that ended up causing conflict.

Libertarians and Socialists seem like they would get along, but Socialists believe in big governments with lots of social intervention- taxing of people and redistributing of wealth, more laws to help regulate business and the social dynamic in the country. Libertarians believe governments should do the bare minimum and human capital should determine everything else. Some of them even lean more towards anarchy.

Socialists and Libertarians both tend to have more liberal/progressive social attitudes- for example both groups were on the same side about the government regulating marriage and fought to legalize gay marriage and both are generally on the same side about the decriminalization of drugs.

Gun ownership is a VERY emotional topic in the US with mass shootings popping up so frequently in the news. Libertarians are going to favor fewer gun laws because they don’t believe in federal government dictating these laws and they want the individual to be able to decide how they can protect themselves, Socialists will favor more gun laws because they believe in heavy government intervention to protect individuals.

No. 75276

I met a girl who seemed eager to be friends a a while back through a volunteer program. At first they were always hitting me up and initiated a ton, then for a while it was about equal between us initiating convos ands stuff. We saw each other lots because of the program, but then the specific project we were working on ended and we're at two different sites now and things have have cooled off a lot. They're still really friendly when I do reach out and willing to meet up from time to time, but it feels very much like I'm initiating a lot (though I'm not trying to be too needy and I strike up conversation 1-3 times a month.

I just don't understand how to make friends who want to keep in touch even when we're not forced to see each other every day. I wonder if they shed friends every time their schedule changes and they don't see their old friends every day anymore, do some people prefer it that way? She's not the only person I'm making an effort with right now, but this situation in particular bothers me because she seemed so eager at first and initiated everything. If she wasn't still friendly when I reached out now I would have guessed that I did something wrong and upset her. I get that not all your friends will be close friends but what the heck she was always chatting me up and waiting for me to finish my work so we could head out together and talk, even before we really knew each other. Mixed signals like this really confuse me, and I already feel like a dum dum when it comes to socializing in general.

No. 75281

>>75276
similar thing happened to me, hung out a lot, but i was more forward. i stopped initiating and they disappeared. i'm just so bad at making gal pals.

No. 75300

>>75276
As someone who's done something similar, maybe they're just busy? For me it was the fact that I had lots of exams and then I got a job and just felt really tired, but I would've gladly talked to anyone who messaged me.

No. 75306

>>75281
> so bad at making gal pals
same girl, same

>>75300
Understandable. I yearn for the days when I had girl friends to do casual shit together with all the time though, but I'm feeling it may just be an age thing, like after a certain point most people just don't socialize that way anymore. Still happy to keep in contact with her though, just considering out loud if what I want in general is still feasible for me to find in new friends or if I should learn to be more content with the friends I do have.

No. 75331

File: 1519254998665.webm (1.69 MB, 832x458, wine.webm)

>>75306
IKTF about getting older I am 25 and lots of my single friends are getting married and having kids. At least once i hit my 60s I can hang out at the senior center and bullshit there

No. 75346

>>69748
>saw qt trad goth girl in between classes all the time
>got really good vibe off of her
>complimented each others outfits occasionally
>never any more than that
>wanted to know more and be friends if we had more in common
>didn't know how to approach at all
>haven't seen her at all this year
Goddamnit, I have no idea how to make friends as an adult, this is horrible. How do you open if you just feel a good vibe off of someone? I feel like I missed an opportunity for something good. Now that all of my friends have scattered to different towns, I realized I had been relying on them to make more friends so now I'm stuck alone.

No. 75351

I've given up on trying to make friends but honestly this board gives me a little bit of hope. It's nice seeing everyone gather and talk about their experiences with other girls. For me I'm some kind of magnet for toxic snowflakes who always seem to prioritize being petty and poking their noses into drama rather than acting like a decent human being. I'm also 25 but it's always the damn same. I get used as a punching bag because I'm a clearly insecure, socially awkward hermit who makes herself an easy target and I don't know how to change that. Frankly i can't trust anyone at this point. I just wish I could make girl friends without having to worry about them being two-faced drama whores. Its been sort of a dream of mine to have an actual best friend who I can just shoot the shit with over a bottle of wine and a video game or something.

No. 75375

File: 1519342050510.jpg (80.74 KB, 280x453, 1496120294483.jpg)

I've worked at my female-dominated job for about a year now and some of my coworkers have started to invite me out. To be honest though, it's making me uncomfortable as fuck because I'm socially awkward and don't enjoy large groups. They've also started making comments about finding me a date and helping me get laid, which I have zero interest in. I keep saying no, but that led to them outrightly asking me if I'm gay. I'm not, but I don't like sleeping around like they do.

The whole thing is putting me off, even though I know they mean well and are just being outgoing and nice. I don't want to ostracize myself from everyone at work, but I just don't enjoy the kinds of stuff they do. I prefer doing quiet stuff like museums or staying home and being a weeb. What do?

No. 75391

>>75331
>senior centre
Heck yes, I'm really hopeful for this too
I read an article about "lonely deaths" in Japan and I'm watching my own Grandmother stubbornly isolate herself in her home because she doesn't want to lose the house. It's making me think I need to accept social care when the time comes. Shitty gossip at bingo is better than dying friendless.

>>75351
It looks like you've realised you need to change your own behavior first by not being a target anymore. Even if it sounds cheesey, when you become a good friend to yourself the rest can follow.

No. 75400

Does anyone else not really -want- to make friends? Like I'm totally content going to school, going to work, doing extracurriculars, etc. then just spending time by myself. I just am never interested by other people and I never have met someone I'd like to get to know better (outside of a professional context, obviously I know it's valuable to make contacts and pretend to be interested in people if you want to expand your network).

All of my friendships have been because the other person was willing to maintain the relationship. IMO women are a lot more clingy and needy as friends, most dudes don't really care if you pay attention to them or not. that's why most of my friends are male and the few who are female are usually super busy career-oriented people.

No. 75621

>>75400
No anon it's only you, you are special

No. 75957

>>75400

Am the same but I think it stems from a self protective mehcanism of not wanting to get involved with others for the fear of getting trampled on or discarded. You've been like it so long that you probably don't relate with what I've said though. Its natural to push it down and accept it as your normality.

No. 75974

>>75375
Oh I know what it's like to be in a group of women that are the complete opposite of you. It's just not fun. So maybe try to still join them but not as often? Go out with them every few weeks and say you're busy when it gets too often. This way you don't come off as you don't want anything to do with them. I couldn't deal with hanging out with people where I feel like an alien.

No. 76008

>>75400
Agreed with everything until you started that 'not like the other girls' bullshit. Men are infinitely needier than women because 99% of the time they want in your pants, if girls were clingy I wouldn't lose contact with them so easily.

Anyway my lack of drive to actually make or keep friends is because I'm pretty satisfied by myself. I only ever miss it when there's something specific I want to do that would be more enjoyable or socially acceptable by myself. It's not that I dislike the friendships I haven't maintained, it just never occurs to me to try and keep up conversations via text or invite them places or anything.

No. 76115

>>69812
yeah….

No. 76466

has anyone ever tried bumble bff? is that still a thing?

No. 76487

>>76466
I've never heard of it before, so i decided to google it and came across this article: https://www.bolde.com/i-tried-bumble-bff-to-find-friends-and-this-is-what-learned/
Doesn't sound too bad?

No. 76495

>>76466
i've used it. many girls are super basic (atleast in my area) which was awkward.
>inb4 some 'not like the other girls' comment. by basic bitch i don't even mean normalfag. i just mean that the article >>76487 posted was quite right. most basic girls display little to no personality outside of what is 'in' or acceptable. and convos with them just go nowhere.

there were quite a few bots probably spilling over from the dating side too. i guess my area isn't big enough.

No. 76509

>>76495
On first look I’ve been swiping left way more than I’ve been swiping right for exactly this reason. Every other girl “speaks sarcasm” and I’m just like… wtf does that even mean at this point.

No. 76525

File: 1521496598315.jpg (174.51 KB, 1280x720, 1521175019354.jpg)

I joined a female Discord server and ended up leaving because whenever I tried to make an interaction it felt awkward and I felt neglected/ignored. It was ome of those 4chan-esque ones and I tried my best to get along, but maybe I was too cringy for them. Oh well. It was worth a shot.

I'll try the bumble bee app. I'm not really asking for much, just someone who I can have tea and unwind and talk with them and go to neat places together. But I probably sound whiny or whatever so I'm just jaded at this point. It's just frustrating because I personally feel like I'm always trying to make the effort and whenever I try to keep the friendship alive the other party doesn't give a crap. I just wish I found a female friend who reciprocated my efforts as much as I did and won't end up ghosting me for two weeks straight and expect me to always message them first.

No. 76993

File: 1521966216782.jpg (152.39 KB, 1920x1080, tumblr_static_cifg7wmrugowocw0…)

I haven't managed to make even a single friend in 2,5 years of university.
I'm feeling so miserable and lonely, i absolutely must succeed now.
I don't even want to aim as high as wishing to somehow get a boyfriend, i just want to have one female friend.
(I already tried joining a club to try and meet somebody there, but it didn't work out)
I'm just so socially awkward, i probably wouldn't even want to be friends with myself…
Please, any advice?

No. 77043

File: 1522015411662.jpg (12.54 KB, 255x255, ss (2018-03-11 at 12.52.59).jp…)

I've been stuck for a while with my socialization being mostly online, very little irl interaction. What sucks about this is most of the girls that I meet and I try to befriend just look at each other like competition which fucking blows, especially when I'm more the cheerleader type for my friends and I'm happy being in the background. I've been able to make one female friend but I'm more of a mentor and guider to her than an actual equal friendship, she's absolutely lovely and the sweetest thing but goddamn is she dumb, at least when it comes to relationships and while I do treat her with care and I choose my words carefully, being honest to her and giving her advice when she comes to me is exhausting because there's always the risk she will become extremely upset and block me/disappear.

It sucks because I can't really talk to her about other topics other than general fashion/cute/hobbies. It is what it is though, beggars can't be choosers. Just kinda sucks

No. 77065

I'm super out of practice with female friendships. Last time I hung out with friends I thought it went really well but they didn't invite me out again (Which I know doesn't sound like a big deal, but in my situation, its very telling) so now I'm just looking back and obsessing over all the slightly embarrassing things I did. Then I got a really sweet text from another old friend today and haven't replied because I'm so afraid of embarrassing myself and wrecking it. For some reason I didn't expect socializing to be this difficult after years of isolation. I can't help but wonder if I would have been better off not having online friends?

No. 77413

More than happy to make friends with fellow females. Tend to find it hard these days, as many grills find you as "the enemy" when it comes to having other guys in the room (online, discord/teamspeak/whatever) and treat you like shit - or completely ignore you. But if you're married or have someone, she either goes for that someone or befriends you. Like, wtf?

Anyways, down to make more female buddies. Not sure if I'm allowed to post my discord tag or whatever here…so I guess I won't (?)(namefagging)

No. 77443

>watch a cool girl on YT
>wish to be her friend
>she mentions how she's only friends with guys because "all girls are catty"
>feel let down
I just feel sad for these girls that honestly think this.

No. 77465

File: 1522420735982.png (526.15 KB, 720x566, 1519619177900.png)

>>76993
what clubs did you join and what were the problems?

I joined some random ass clubs in college. I was a bio major but apart of the geology club just because they took hikes. I joined the agriculture club because I had a two hour gap between my lab and my night class

No. 77468

>>77465
I joined the japanese club.
I know that doing something sports related would probably be better for socializing, but i've gained weight recently and would also be way too scared that only people who've already got friends join, with them together…

No. 77469

>>77468
you should not let one bad experience turn you off from clubs for good. tbh I am a non weeb so I may be biased in thinking those clubs might have more tism than normal.

Assuming you go to a decently sized school there should be tons of clubs just find one and go to it. You make friends just by showing up over and over

No. 80072

File: 1524464686950.png (35.75 KB, 340x340, p1brkq9640f88102t12vv4rfr6p6.p…)

hi girls i wanted to update on using bumble bff. i think i'm going to recommend it as a good starting place.

i've been using the app very infrequently/casually for about a month. there were mostly "basic" type girls and i was swiping left a lot. i get along with your typical girly girls, but it is hard to find common ground/subjects to bond over. you know? i don't want to seem critical or judgmental. that's just been my experience. brunch, shopping and getting my nails done is fun every once and a while, but it's not really how i prefer to spend my quality time.

anyway, i ended up with about 5 girls who i actually found interesting.

i finally met up with one. it went way better than expected! we've only hung out a couple times, but she's way more my "friend-type" than anyone i've met in years. we're planning on a museum trip and some hiking in the future.

i think if you're in an area with a dense enough population, it's worth a shot! one of my guy friends told me he found it "creepy" but i think whatever he's imagining is not how it works. you can see people's instagrams, their spotify top artists, etc and get an immediate idea of where you have some common interests. so i think it can work in a really positive way.

No. 81148

File: 1524988074382.png (400.2 KB, 688x661, but why.png)

I've had female friends up to middle school and started getting some bad depression because of my family situation, the time i spend away from school made most of them avoid me when i was back and after moving multiple schools I've just ended up making a few female friends online instead, two years later of having those female friends they both tell me that they are actually male and just felt pity for me because i lacked any female contact in the past 5 years, now i'm just feeling like a massive dumbass and honestly don't even know how to normally speak to other females considering my interests are mainly gaming and art besides conspiracy theories about humans



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