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No. 69291
Married Farmer. Proposed to the old-fashioned way, down on one knee in public, but we weren't around a bajillion people and considering we had been together for close to a decade that he could surprise me was honestly wonderful. He was so nervous when he proposed and so nervous the entire wedding day, which is very unlike him. It had nothing to do with negativity or doubt, just he isn't used to the whole shibang and felt like a host trying to do everything and not fuck up.
Marriage does feel different, and I hear people in long term relationships say all the time that "nothing changes" but it is a noticeable difference and improvement to be officially recognized as a married couple, file taxes together, leave behind any doubt that maybe your partner is still looking for something better, solidly plan for large investments without the issue of "who's name is this going in, what happens if". Your parents also relax a lot. Ours both had full confidence in our relationship, as did our friends, so when we got married everyone enjoyed the wedding because it was a safe bet, not a "well, they still haven't seen this side of the other yet, they still havent done this yet". You may think it doesn't matter, but you hit a point where everyone starts to get married, whether they've weathered the world together or not because they want the attention and affirmation of their relationship (spoiler: it ends in divorce).
My piece of advice for those talking about having a wedding and avoiding "frivolous" expenses: Unless you're doing it in a public park with 25 people and doing low-end meals/home-prepped, you can't "out thrifty" the expense if you want to have a good number of people attend. People bitching about the industry mark-up are not privy to event planning. The Table rentals don't go up because "Wedding", your catering bill at $38per person for apps and dinner isn't "unfair", what makes it cost so much is multiple that by 100 guests, factor in the cost of servers, chefs, bartenders… Human labor is what makes it expensive. Not saying certain parts, like Wedding Cakes, aren't ridiculous, but if you want to host a wedding as an event, you should provide basic amenities for guests (shelter/bathrooms/food/alcohol). Buy pre-owned attire, purchase second-hand decorations (everyone sells this right after their wedding, no one wants 10 birdcages and a huge sign that says "RECEPTION -→"), don't get diamond or expensive bands, skip the DJ, there's a lot of advice on how save cost, but don't expect to host 100 people for under $12,000 unless you're pulling in a lot of favors.
No. 69307
>>69304>woman gets proposed towomen should propose too! it's 2017, where my strong women at?
>women proposes to manhaha lame your bf is a cuck this won't last
kay
No. 69318
File: 1508471721688.png (120.97 KB, 500x441, 3380e9dc4537f180777d9bbccb72e8…)
>>69304how do you have access to the internet with a fucking rock anon
No. 69319
File: 1508472959658.jpg (244.4 KB, 1280x800, sad-panda.jpg)
>>69310The last time we talked about it was around half a year ago. They would either pay full or half of it, either way I wouldn't accept because it's gonna be their wedding and it's gonna suck, my family cares about appearance and impressing others.
No. 69346
File: 1508516554247.jpg (66.88 KB, 1080x789, n9uaba3a0mjx.jpg)
>>69340For sure! Some people don't see that, they say fuck what you want or think. Either way we're gonna do our thing and it's gonna be great.
(photofagging) No. 69422
I'm engaged, but haven't done it ~on social media~ yet. It's an open secret at this point. I've told my family and close friends. No real proposal, we just agreed we want to get married. I wear a ring, but don't have a proper engagement ring. He may buy me one, but I told him there's no pressure and I'd feel like it's unfair for me not to reciprocate the gift.
We're young and live in different countries, but have savings, but the "different countries" thing makes wedding planning difficult for inviting our families. I wouldn't mind a small wedding out in nature or at the courthouse, just us and maybe a few witnesses, and following up with a swanky hotel stay, but I know my family will want to see me get married…if they're footing the bill, I figure why not.
I've never understood bridezillas and expensive show-off weddings. My parents had an expensive wedding, but it was because my grandparents really wanted to throw them a big fancy thing. Being treated to a nice time is lovely, but I also feel like we should be saving money for our life together.
No. 69470
>>69323>>69323You guys sound pathetic. Get a job anon. Your peers probably got married already because they both work full time or go to school part time and work. Tell your bf to get a better paying job or go back to college if you want him to support you.
I've hired a wedding planner. It's so much easier and way less stressful. They can stick to your budget and you can just kick back and relax.
No. 69480
My #1 goal in life is to be married to someone I like. But I don't think it's happening anytime soon.
>>69325I have a lot of Christian acquaintances who married after graduating from college. It's more common in certain communities than others.
>>69323How the fuck do you get to 23 and never have worked? Who is going to support you?
No. 69499
>>69480I babysat his little brother but I hardly got paid.
My bf supports me but all we eat is ramen and TV dinners. We've lived together with his parents but now we moved out together and so when the topic of marriage was brought up, this happens.
No. 69516
>>69267I'm coming up on my one year anniversary.
I had a really nice proposal, out in the desert at sunset as a full moon was rising. Only problem is I detest my engagement ring but I live with it (I got to pick my wedding ring, which was the original engagement ring I wanted, so that was nice).
Wedding planning was a mixed bag. It turns out that even though I always had a mental idea of my dream wedding, my husband was super picky and opinionated and perfectionist about it all so many things changed, but I didn't care too much at that point because it just got to be exhausting sometimes, especially as we did everything ourselves.
Overall it wasn't too bad but there were some hiccups and accidents, like the wedding coordinator we had (who came with the venue) was a moron who didn't know what she was doing, she was just the fucking worst. Plus, she chose her biggest fuck ups for the day of the wedding, in that she conveniently lost the seating chart that we had sent weeks before and then whined that we didn't give it to her when she said she didn't have it five minutes before the ceremony, and then misplaced a bunch of lights/audio equipment, all before she disappeared with our music so she had to be tracked down to find it. She also forgot the plan for getting the cake set up and sent my poor brother, who was carrying the cake, on a giant walk around the venue to try to find the right place. This was on top of the fact that it rained super hard unexpectedly (destroying my hair style) and we ran super late because our car broke down so our families–who were meeting for the first time–had to introduce themselves before the ceremony. The funny thing is, because of all those stresses it made the actual wedding just feel amusing, if that makes sense.
Still, all in all it went well and I loved my wedding a lot. It was actually one of the better weddings I've ever been to (which makes me sound like an asshole, I know). All the food and music were great and it was in an aquarium so that was cool.
No. 69549
>>69525Possibly.
>>69528I'm assuming you didn't read the entire post since I also said I liked the wedding and enjoyed myself. And yeah, I paid for certain services and expect someone to be able to perform them, especially since (just to make it clearer), all of it had been sorted out well ahead of time, none of this was last minute. It's normal and expected for larger events to have seating charts too because otherwise people are confused as to where to sit and it affects how they are served (since some guests have certain dietary restrictions and seating charts are used to give individuals the correct dishes), so her screw up made things harder for the catering too.
As per the ring, what can I say, I didn't like it. I really doubt you love every single "gift" you've ever been given and I should clarify that I didn't give him shit about it.
But it seems anything wedding related just brings out the asshole in everyone.
No. 69560
File: 1508949631485.jpg (102.19 KB, 640x514, fV3a-1bW.jpg)
I would gladly say yes if my bf proposed, but I would never take a man's surname. I think that's humiliating.
I don't know how to pick out a surname for our future kid, though, since I already have two and the kid can't really have 3 so I guess I'll have to pick one and insult one side of my family. Anyone else with this kind of problem?
No. 69592
>>69560Simple, just don't have kids.
If you really feel you must, do what
>>69563 suggested and merge your two names together.
No. 69593
>>69583I lived with my boyfriend for seven years before we got married. I can't stress how important it is to live with your partner for an extended period of time. Hopefully you'll have gone through some rough times so you can see how you, as a couple, deal with serious stress.
Live in sin for a while. It's the best indicator you'll have as to whether or not the two of you will make it.
No. 69598
i have been engaged before and it was awful lol
the guy had zero ambition and my dad arranged for him a decent job because i was struggling to be able to live by myself and i hated living at home (i lived with my mum). anyway so we moved out together to an apartment (we were hs sweethearts). ended leaving apartment early because of plumbing issues blahblah, found a small house. i worked in the city and him at a company 5 mins away.
anyway. he ends up leaving his job because 'sad' (most likely regret throwing away many opportunities and being lazy) and guilted me and my dad to keep him a float until he found himself.
anyway, i'm working 40 hours a week and commuting 5-8hrs a week, while still having to do everything around the house. so our 5 yr anniversary comes up and he tells me to take week off work.
it was a relaxing week, just hung about. then he takes me to pizza hut for dinner on our anniversary, then proposes shortly after at one of our favourite walks. he did light candles etc, but i am terrified of the dark and he told me he lost his phone when he went for a piss…
anyway. it was an altogether terrible relationship and there was no romance. we weren't even intimate in the last 2 years (the present is like 4 years later and i honestly can't remember how the dude was in bed), he was very angry, addicted to the xbox, and always needed boys weekend to 'chill' out even tho he didn't work. my dad was helping me with a deposit for a house and my fiancé was acting so entitled and defiant. he actually snapped at me one day over house plans and where to put the plugs. he didn't even work or do housework! and he went home to his ma's everyday to get feed while i was out of the house.
anyway, i pulled out of the house and now 4 years later in my final year at uni. i really hope i can get a lovely proposal and plan a wedding and have a family. i do have a bf who has discussed family stuff (i am older now haha, my ex proposed to me when i was 21/22. we never even had an engagement party and only wedding venue we visited i gurned beforehand and didn't want to go) my current bf makes fun of me a bit for it all. and i would too lol
oh and the engagement ring he got me he got me online for under £100 because he didn't get the right size and the jeweller couldn't resize it because it was too soft of a metal. so he said no biggie and had me one order for next day delivery. he then told me it was a fake diamond too. just the whole thing was awful. his friends would damage property and be rude to me, and he would talk down and belittle me. i always was arranging trips to europe etc, before i dumped him i had organised one with his best mates and even they saw how much he nagged me and just was miserable. oh and i was in therapy for like a year before the break up. i had my own family issues, and he would throw them in my face and every fight was my fault because i was just ike my family. he said i needed to change etc. but he never wanted to hear about my therapy and 'recovery' (fyi i feel like my therapy was a waste of time, any impartial person could have told me what i heard, but at that time i didn't have many impartial people in my life). i finally dumped him because i wanted to show him a crystal my therapist had gifted me and something she told me, and he was just so flat out condescending and rude. i just dumped him on the spot and phoned my mum who was more an issue for me at therapy and asked her to move home. she said yea and i was gone that night.
i hope he tells people the real reason he was dumped. because after all the shite he put me thru and made out how much of a villain i was and unkind, that he, the kind starving artist could not have gave one fuck about me, my mental state or happiness. he just wanted my money
No. 69601
>>69595How the hell does that make him a cuck?
That word is overused so much in situations that it shouldn't be, it barely has meaning anymore.
No. 69611
>>69610probably because she's the only one who got a ring in this case
"being a cuck" nowadays mean literally "being taken advantage of"
not that her husband is either, but i can see why someone would think that
No. 69619
>>69611As if that matters, if the ring was really that important I'm sure they could get one, his not having one (especially since they eloped) is not a big deal and says nothing about him. The word "cuck" is meaningless when it's used as a random, nonsensical insult like this.
>>69598You're lucky you got out of it early or he would have taken more money in alimony payments.
No. 69630
>>69563>>69592I'd be shamed heavily for making up a new last name or forging the two of my last names and adding his last name. ;_; It's like if you want everyone to call you T-bone or try to force a nickname like Fallen Angel for yourself …
I would not shame others for it nonetheless, though.
>Simple, just don't have kids.Ikr
No. 90794
I then grind on poles at the presenter or organizer and anyone else because of my mouth so I don't think it's a good job is connections, followed by grades. To T I'm bitter forever I wish people would love to follow more unknown artists.
>>69630Shouldn't there be an annoucement for the quality is all i can post anything you want, Anon.
I hope they are happy and hopefully I'll get some salt-infused boba pearls, to sprinkle all over it makes you and makes them feel good. There's so many reboots lately that only happen if you've only smoked?
No. 202350
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Getting married next year and I am stresssing out about the walking down the aisle music. I want to have an organist play something, but not something predictable like "here comes the bride" song or pachelbel's canon. Anyone know any good wedding organ music?
No. 202387
>>202350Bach's Tocata and Fugue…just kidding!
>>202362Second this. How about some of Beethoven's emperor piano concertos? They give a grandiose feeling, imo.
No. 299898
File: 1668722932874.jpeg (125.83 KB, 800x1067, 22-39-800x1067.jpeg)
Trends you guys hate? I hate the water-wing sleeve look that's so popular in wedding dresses right now. People get strapless sweetheart neckline dresses but then they add big puffy detachable sleeves on their bicep area so then their shoulders are still bare. It looks really silly to me.
I was wedding dress shopping and there's always a tiny little detail that makes me hate the dress even though everything else is beautiful and nice. Like for example the skirt would be PERFECT with it's tulle, the delicate lace appliques… but then the top would either be a rectangle neckline rather than sweetheart. Or I'd love the top of the dress, love how there is a corset built in, love how it's sweetheart but then the tulle skirt either has too much details or too bare.
I was so sick of being picky that I just picked the least offensive dress to me. It had the tulle I wanted, the off-white-light-pink colour I wanted, the delicate rose lace appliques I wanted, but it isn't sweetheart neckline, it has no built-in corset and it's a spaghetti strap which is yuck. I am planning on altering my dress to the spaghetti strap can be flutter sleeves or cape sleeves. unfortunately I can't make it off-the shoulder because the dress's bodice requires the spaghetti straps for support.
This dress would've been perfect if it didn't have the bodice had minor adjustments. Picrel is what the dress sort of looks like. I bought it months ago and forget the name of the dress and designer kek
No. 299902
File: 1668723091123.jpeg (88.81 KB, 550x733, roses.jpeg)
>>299898oh fuck i found it ignore that picture in past post
No. 299905
File: 1668723340064.jpeg (137.88 KB, 900x1653, MLL1101Htwf.jpeg)
>>299898Anyway here are the water wings I was telling you about
No. 299907
>>299905I agree
nonny it looks really silly. All I can think is how dumb and impotent it would look if she raised her arms.
No. 299908
>>299905I've seen this trend with non-wedding dresses too, and I don't like it either. I
want to like it, but it just feels like separate pieces from the dress
No. 299912
>>299902I actually like the spaghetti straps for a bigger bust. It helps to create a tighter look at the bodice, and then it flows down from that. The flowly tulle helps with that.
My problem is that the spaghetti straps kind of make it look like a homecoming dress. A little informal. What would y'all say is the best way to make it a bit "fancier"
No. 300000
>>299912I am c cup and my breast shape is strange because it isn’t full on top, just full on bottom. Also have no cleavage because the nipples point outwards (very flat in the middle of my chest unless I squeeze my boobs together with a bra). Might have to wear a push up bra on my wedding day.
I’ve been meaning to buy a corset because I love LOVE LOOOOOVE the corset trend. It adds shape to the dress. It’s just too bad my dress doesn’t come with one so it’s unstructured and I don’t have the breast size/shape to fill out the bodice nicely.
I was thinking of bringing my dress to a tailor/seamstress and request addition of cape sleeves or flutter sleeves to the spaghetti straps to make it more romantic. I’d prefer the off the shoulder look which is trendy where you have a little bit of strip sliding off your shoulder. Problem is I can’t do that because the bodice has no structure and NEEDS the straps to rest on the shoulders to hold the whole dress up.
Any cosplay anons out there or good seamstress hobbyist anons with any inputs?
No. 300022
>>300003Oh we’re talking about this dress
>>299902Not
>>299905Anon used
>>299905 to showcase what she hates
No. 300028
File: 1668799186825.jpeg (345.33 KB, 556x813, 0249B5A4-2F7E-4021-8BAE-16304E…)
>>300000I like the cape sleeve idea too. If it’s cold where you are, maybe your seamstress could integrate the spaghetti straps into a long sleeve appliqué look like pic rel? Not quite off the shoulder though.
No. 300398
>>300367If both your names are going on the mortgage then it doesn't make much of a difference. In the case that you split you'll both still be liable and will have to work it out between you. If its only in his name then you're at risk of being evicted but.. you'll be able to walk away debt free that way.
People have outdated views where they think being married means you'll just be handed the house in the case of a split but that's not how it works. Its up to you whether you want to marry first but marriage isnt as 'protective to women' as people make it out to be. You'll still have a shared debt if you split before the mortgage is paid off.
No. 391090
File: 1713036003014.png (2.19 MB, 1920x716, 1000011027.png)
Any advice on dealing with parents who aren't keen on the idea of marriage? My bf and I have a really wonderful relationship and we've always openly discussed the future together, there's basically nothing to complain about with each other and we agree that an engagement makes sense sometime this year. But both of our sets of parents are really uneasy about it.
For my parents, they kind of have a set idea of how my life should go and are really unwilling to even talk about any deviations. They've always really infantalized me and basically try to handhold me through life, and they will hardly even talk about any of my ideas for my life, it just gets dismissed as "not listening." They also keep strongly implying that if I get married my husband will hate me because I'm not a good catch, so I shouldn't get too close to any men.
His parents kinda think that he ought to date around and basically be a noncommital player before settling down, I guess? They also don't like the idea of his finances supporting me.
Both of our families are also kinda materialistic and think that it's important to have tons of money, so they think we can't afford to settle down, even though it's totally possible. We just won't be, y'know, millionaires or anything.
It sucks because our relationship with each other is going great but our relationships with our families is getting strained because they don't like how seriously we take our commitment to each other. Any advice? Obviously we are adults who ultimately make our own decisions and won't let their opinions stop us, but I just wish I could do something to ease the tension.
No. 391120
>>391090Your parents probably wouldn't be happy with you even if you did everything they wanted you to. There's no way to please people like that. Same goes for his parents.
You can try working with a therapist on a strategy to make them understand you, or you can just smile and nod when they lecture you and then do whatever you want anyway. Ultimately, what can they do? Remove you from the will? You'll still be an entirely independent person.
Although speaking of independence, don't become a housewife without backup income or savings. You have to plan for all eventualities. If you don't, you'll just prove your parents right that you're too naive to live in the world.
No. 391938
>>300534A bit of a necro, but this is a good question to ask, so I’ll respond anyway:
Statistically, 2-3 years is best unless you’re college-age or younger (in which case it’s better to wait longer). Waiting more than 3 years only has a negligible impact on divorce chances, while waiting less than 2 has significantly more risk, especially if marriage happens within a year. Of course this depends on other things, like how well a couple knew each other before dating, how often they’re able to see each other, and so on.
Also, contrary to popular belief, neither living together nor having sex before marriage reduces the risk of divorce. Independently of religious belief, both of those things actually correlate with less stable and less happy marriages.
It’s a shame so many women have been told that playing house for guys without commitment from them is a good thing. One of the worst things to hear about that’s become so common these days is a noncommittal guy leaving a long-term gf after squandering her 20s holding out for a dream he never had any intention of seeing through. Dating should weed out guys who would take their wives for granted, not enable them to do that to women without any consequences.