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File: 1508403132830.jpg (44.43 KB, 1400x787, XRxVAG9.jpg)

No. 69267

What are your thoughts on getting engaged / married? Are any farmers here already the latter? Did you get a ring or have a proposal? How was the wedding planning experience? Have you discussed it with your s/o or maybe don't want to get married at all?

Just anything you want to add to the discussion!

No. 69282

I've been proposed to several times by ex-boyfriends and later on guys I barely knew (arranged marriages) and my parents couldn't understand why I said no and why I was against it. The pressure to get married in my community made me hate the whole topic of marriage for years. But now that I'm a little older and in a loving relationship with my boyfriend, I'm starting to really really like the idea. Unfortunately, my parents will probably be against me marrying him and I'll either get disowned or I'll cut them out myself.

No. 69285

My bf and I are engaged but we haven't figured out when we're gonna get married. I don't want a wedding cause they are expensive and unneccesary, my family on the other hand want a big wedding bash to show off and shit. I could really care less. My bf and I planned to sign the papers with a photog around, my dream wedding right there.

No. 69286

I'm not married or engaged yet, but I want to be someday. I am very frugal and don't want a lot of expense put into it. I don't need a $1,500 gold ring with a big diamond. A simple wedding band made out of a lower cost metal that resembles gold with no gemstone is ideal. I want to get married in a church with the bare wedding essentials expected in the U.S. like a dress, tuxedo, white cake, and invitations. The only frivolous thing I would spend money on in a wedding would be hiring local musicians to play for the dancing afterwards because I am a strong music lover who plays a couple instruments.

I hate how American television shows and magazines focus solely on expensive and meticulously planned weddings. This makes couples feel like they have to impress others or have a theme to their wedding. They should be using those thousands and thousands of dollars to save for a down payment on a home or paying off debt.

No. 69287

My husband proposed to me with a ring that was only like $300 when we were teenagers. I'm not really into jewelry so I'm glad he didn't spend much on it. We never planned a wedding. When I was younger I would dream about a big fairytale wedding, but as I got older I just never understood why I would want a wedding at all. So one day after being engaged for a while we decided to fill out the paper work, get our marriage license, then get married and we called it good.

We've been together for almost 10 years and wedding or not I think I have a successful marriage.

No. 69288

I'm engaged and my family is P I S S E D.

I come from a Jewish background and my family and relatives are nagging me, "Why are you marrying a goyim?" My babushka asked me on the phone if he's circumcised. Parents demand my bf to convert to Judaism first and also to have a Jewish wedding.

The engagement period is going to take longer than I anticipated, but my bf is for it.

No. 69289

OT, but I always thought being Jewish is an ethnic thing and they don't really allow conversion to Judaism.

No. 69291

Married Farmer. Proposed to the old-fashioned way, down on one knee in public, but we weren't around a bajillion people and considering we had been together for close to a decade that he could surprise me was honestly wonderful. He was so nervous when he proposed and so nervous the entire wedding day, which is very unlike him. It had nothing to do with negativity or doubt, just he isn't used to the whole shibang and felt like a host trying to do everything and not fuck up.

Marriage does feel different, and I hear people in long term relationships say all the time that "nothing changes" but it is a noticeable difference and improvement to be officially recognized as a married couple, file taxes together, leave behind any doubt that maybe your partner is still looking for something better, solidly plan for large investments without the issue of "who's name is this going in, what happens if". Your parents also relax a lot. Ours both had full confidence in our relationship, as did our friends, so when we got married everyone enjoyed the wedding because it was a safe bet, not a "well, they still haven't seen this side of the other yet, they still havent done this yet". You may think it doesn't matter, but you hit a point where everyone starts to get married, whether they've weathered the world together or not because they want the attention and affirmation of their relationship (spoiler: it ends in divorce).

My piece of advice for those talking about having a wedding and avoiding "frivolous" expenses: Unless you're doing it in a public park with 25 people and doing low-end meals/home-prepped, you can't "out thrifty" the expense if you want to have a good number of people attend. People bitching about the industry mark-up are not privy to event planning. The Table rentals don't go up because "Wedding", your catering bill at $38per person for apps and dinner isn't "unfair", what makes it cost so much is multiple that by 100 guests, factor in the cost of servers, chefs, bartenders… Human labor is what makes it expensive. Not saying certain parts, like Wedding Cakes, aren't ridiculous, but if you want to host a wedding as an event, you should provide basic amenities for guests (shelter/bathrooms/food/alcohol). Buy pre-owned attire, purchase second-hand decorations (everyone sells this right after their wedding, no one wants 10 birdcages and a huge sign that says "RECEPTION -→"), don't get diamond or expensive bands, skip the DJ, there's a lot of advice on how save cost, but don't expect to host 100 people for under $12,000 unless you're pulling in a lot of favors.

No. 69294

i proposed to my boyfriend and it was the happiest feeling ever. we're getting married when he gets out of college in 2-4 years (maybe before grad).

No. 69301

I'm fine with a traditional engagement (ring, bending down one knee) but I would want it to be at least semi-private and with a ring under 1k.

However, now that I'm older and in a serious relationship, I've decided that I don't want a wedding at all. Maybe a dinner or get-together after we sign the papers, but not an actual wedding.

It seems like the internet is the only place where I can find people with a similar mindset. Most people in my life are totally cool with dropping 10k-100k to get their Pinterest Perfect(TM) wedding, are already looking for ideas and inspo before they're even engaged. It's a very obsessive thing for some people.

No. 69304

You're marrying a man-child. Don't expect this marriage to last 10 years.

No. 69305

sorry you're so insecure, anon.

No. 69307

>woman gets proposed to
women should propose too! it's 2017, where my strong women at?
>women proposes to man
haha lame your bf is a cuck this won't last


No. 69310

>my family on the other hand want a big wedding bash to show off and shit
Have they offered to pay for it?

No. 69318

File: 1508471721688.png (120.97 KB, 500x441, 3380e9dc4537f180777d9bbccb72e8…)


how do you have access to the internet with a fucking rock anon

No. 69319

File: 1508472959658.jpg (244.4 KB, 1280x800, sad-panda.jpg)

The last time we talked about it was around half a year ago. They would either pay full or half of it, either way I wouldn't accept because it's gonna be their wedding and it's gonna suck, my family cares about appearance and impressing others.

No. 69323

I've been with my bf and we high school. He said he won't marry me until I get a job but I haven't had any luck for a couple years now. I don't plan to go to college so that doesn't help much. I was pretty pissed off at first but now I've just accepted it I guess. I'm 23 and he's 24 so it feels odd that our peers are getting married already and we're just sacks of potatoes in comparison.

No. 69325

You should be more concerned about a lack of a job at your age than a lack of a husband, jesus christ. Barely anyone is married at that age so unless your peers are mormons you're exaggerating how common it is.

No. 69337

>maybe don't want to get married at all?
yep. something a bit peculiar about me is that my entire life including childhood I disliked the idea of marrying or a wedding. For the most part it's just something I never cared for, sort of like people who are just not interested in having children. I guess I'm also a bit scared of the commitment. It's not that I don't intend to have a relationship that will last forever, but realistic odds are that it won't, and I'd hate the idea of divorce.

No. 69340

You do what you and your partner want, then. It's about you and your life together; hat other people want isn't important.

No. 69346

File: 1508516554247.jpg (66.88 KB, 1080x789, n9uaba3a0mjx.jpg)

For sure! Some people don't see that, they say fuck what you want or think. Either way we're gonna do our thing and it's gonna be great.(photofagging)

No. 69368

Does anyone else feel impatient about getting engaged and then married? I know it would be the wrong time and it would be too soon, but I'm worried I'll end up waiting years with my boyfriend, who is wonderful, and then I'll have to find someone new but I'll be older. We've talked about it plenty and do plan to eventually get married and have children together, so at least I know that he has similar life goals. I don't think he realizes the time pressure I feel.

No. 69393

I'm against marriage and would say no if a potential boyfriend asked.

No. 69398

How old are you?

No. 69404

this anon is right tbh

No. 69405

children please leave.

No. 69407

Speaking the truth makes me a child? lol

No. 69410

I'm getting married on the day of our anniversary (the day we just started dating). I'm really excited. I don't plan on having a huge wedding. Instead we're going to go on a month or two long honeymoon traveling. I'm only 22 but we've been together and living together for so long, I think nothing will feel different other than its on paper and official. And my ring will be a really sweet reminder of each other when we're both busy working. I think we might have a small Chinese style wedding with a tea ceremony and dinner, then head off to travel! We've talked about having kids. I think once I'm 25 I'll be ready mentally but I would prefer 28-29 so that I can fulfill my bucket list first. Buying a house would be our first goal before bringing in a baby so that way they have a comfortable upbringing and financially secure. I think having a small wedding helps save the cost for this and it's way less stressful.

No. 69415

I'm having so much stress planning my wedding. We've been arguing about how many extended family members to bring since it costs a lot of money per table, and obviously we can't invite everyone we hardly know. He wants to bring every relative at this point.

No. 69416

Married for 14 months already. Our wedding was average size, I suppose (~100 guests) and my mom handled everything planning-wise because I didn't want a big ceremony and she did.

My engagement story is pretty cute, though, IMO. He took me to see my favorite opera at the national theatre in the foreign country we were staying in and popped the question in our private box. It was just the two of us there, so it was very sweet and intimate.

We live in that country now and are super happy. I didn't think I would ever get married, but I love him so much that I caved.

No. 69422

I'm engaged, but haven't done it ~on social media~ yet. It's an open secret at this point. I've told my family and close friends. No real proposal, we just agreed we want to get married. I wear a ring, but don't have a proper engagement ring. He may buy me one, but I told him there's no pressure and I'd feel like it's unfair for me not to reciprocate the gift.

We're young and live in different countries, but have savings, but the "different countries" thing makes wedding planning difficult for inviting our families. I wouldn't mind a small wedding out in nature or at the courthouse, just us and maybe a few witnesses, and following up with a swanky hotel stay, but I know my family will want to see me get married…if they're footing the bill, I figure why not.

I've never understood bridezillas and expensive show-off weddings. My parents had an expensive wedding, but it was because my grandparents really wanted to throw them a big fancy thing. Being treated to a nice time is lovely, but I also feel like we should be saving money for our life together.

No. 69428

You are going to be screwed with no future for retirement due to starting work experience so late. I think your bf is right, you can't really be ready for marriage unless you both equally contribute to the relationship and that includes financially.

No. 69429

I've been married for 2 years. We didn't have a marriage party. We weren't interested in feeding a lot of people that barely care about us. Also we are not religious so we just married for the convenience of it (so we are legally a family, in case one of us dies we have right to inherit stuff, etc.).

No. 69446

Early 20s.

No. 69448

This plus I thought it was okay for Jewish women to marry outside of their religion. Isn't the point of that to spread Judaism from the mother to her children?

No. 69461

Not that anon but, you know what year this is right? I bet you think dating apps like bumble that force the girl to be proactive are full of 'manchildren' too right? Everyone should get the sand out of their vages. Do we want to bend the gender roles or not?

No. 69470

You guys sound pathetic. Get a job anon. Your peers probably got married already because they both work full time or go to school part time and work. Tell your bf to get a better paying job or go back to college if you want him to support you.

I've hired a wedding planner. It's so much easier and way less stressful. They can stick to your budget and you can just kick back and relax.

No. 69480

My #1 goal in life is to be married to someone I like. But I don't think it's happening anytime soon.

I have a lot of Christian acquaintances who married after graduating from college. It's more common in certain communities than others.

How the fuck do you get to 23 and never have worked? Who is going to support you?

No. 69499

I babysat his little brother but I hardly got paid.
My bf supports me but all we eat is ramen and TV dinners. We've lived together with his parents but now we moved out together and so when the topic of marriage was brought up, this happens.

No. 69516

I'm coming up on my one year anniversary.

I had a really nice proposal, out in the desert at sunset as a full moon was rising. Only problem is I detest my engagement ring but I live with it (I got to pick my wedding ring, which was the original engagement ring I wanted, so that was nice).

Wedding planning was a mixed bag. It turns out that even though I always had a mental idea of my dream wedding, my husband was super picky and opinionated and perfectionist about it all so many things changed, but I didn't care too much at that point because it just got to be exhausting sometimes, especially as we did everything ourselves.

Overall it wasn't too bad but there were some hiccups and accidents, like the wedding coordinator we had (who came with the venue) was a moron who didn't know what she was doing, she was just the fucking worst. Plus, she chose her biggest fuck ups for the day of the wedding, in that she conveniently lost the seating chart that we had sent weeks before and then whined that we didn't give it to her when she said she didn't have it five minutes before the ceremony, and then misplaced a bunch of lights/audio equipment, all before she disappeared with our music so she had to be tracked down to find it. She also forgot the plan for getting the cake set up and sent my poor brother, who was carrying the cake, on a giant walk around the venue to try to find the right place. This was on top of the fact that it rained super hard unexpectedly (destroying my hair style) and we ran super late because our car broke down so our families–who were meeting for the first time–had to introduce themselves before the ceremony. The funny thing is, because of all those stresses it made the actual wedding just feel amusing, if that makes sense.

Still, all in all it went well and I loved my wedding a lot. It was actually one of the better weddings I've ever been to (which makes me sound like an asshole, I know). All the food and music were great and it was in an aquarium so that was cool.

No. 69525

you sound like a cunt

No. 69528

Believe me, you sound like an asshole for more reasons than just saying your wedding is the best you've ever been to.

>didn't like the ring husband lovingly picked out for you

>insensitive to him having an opinion about how he wanted HIS day to be
>getting mad over someone losing a retarded ass seating chart
>still complaining about this shit a year later on an anonymous image board

No. 69545

You sound like a dumbass. She paid for a coordinator, its that persons JOB to do things correctly. A wedding is a big event, of course it should go smoothly, especially if you pay somebody to coordinate it. I would be annoyed as hell too if my hair got ruined on the one day I dolled myself up for a special occasion. Even after those mishaps, the anon is still positive about her experience so shut the fuck up lmao.

No. 69549


I'm assuming you didn't read the entire post since I also said I liked the wedding and enjoyed myself. And yeah, I paid for certain services and expect someone to be able to perform them, especially since (just to make it clearer), all of it had been sorted out well ahead of time, none of this was last minute. It's normal and expected for larger events to have seating charts too because otherwise people are confused as to where to sit and it affects how they are served (since some guests have certain dietary restrictions and seating charts are used to give individuals the correct dishes), so her screw up made things harder for the catering too.

As per the ring, what can I say, I didn't like it. I really doubt you love every single "gift" you've ever been given and I should clarify that I didn't give him shit about it.

But it seems anything wedding related just brings out the asshole in everyone.

No. 69551

Hahaha Go samefag somewhere else about your stupid wedding.

No. 69552

Doubt it's a samefag. And I agree with them, if you pay someone to do a job and they massively fuck up, I would be pissed too.

No. 69560

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I would gladly say yes if my bf proposed, but I would never take a man's surname. I think that's humiliating.

I don't know how to pick out a surname for our future kid, though, since I already have two and the kid can't really have 3 so I guess I'll have to pick one and insult one side of my family. Anyone else with this kind of problem?

No. 69563

No. 69570

Legally yes this is an option. But it's just not that popular. By tradition, the male passes down the family name or the couples choose to keep their names in tact. That's just how it is. It would also be hard for your kid to trace their family history if you have some weird hybrid name but that's just my opinion. I prefer to stick to tradition.

No. 69583

I've been married for about 3 months now. We ended up marrying a lot earlier than we expected to because we bought a house. Close family and a couple friends know but not really anyone else. I'm hyphenating my name.

Make sure to live with the person before getting married for at least a year so you know EVERYTHING about day to day life with them. Understand that nobody is going to have zero habits that irritate you so stay with someone who has ones you can live with. I've been living with my husband for 2 years and dating for 2.5 and we haven't had a bad argument at all because we stress communication above everything else. Make sure you can both learn to recognise when you're just grumpy and not actually mad at the other person.

We had a secret wedding and are planning on telling people we eloped and having a small reception next summer.

My ring isn't a diamond because I wanted an opal instead and I love it. When we can afford it, I want to get my husband the matching men's ring.

It can be a challenge (my husband is a massive baby when comes to being sick and it drives me insane) but I wouldn't give it up for anything.

No. 69584

>That's just how it is.
>I prefer to stick to tradition.
merci pour votre contribution

No. 69592

Simple, just don't have kids.

If you really feel you must, do what >>69563 suggested and merge your two names together.

No. 69593


I lived with my boyfriend for seven years before we got married. I can't stress how important it is to live with your partner for an extended period of time. Hopefully you'll have gone through some rough times so you can see how you, as a couple, deal with serious stress.

Live in sin for a while. It's the best indicator you'll have as to whether or not the two of you will make it.

No. 69594

File: 1509039367547.jpg (10.48 KB, 600x450, CUTOcZQW4AEc9KW.jpg)

>i prefer to stick to tradition
>i don't want to take his name

No. 69595

>When we can afford it, I want to get my husband the matching men's ring.

Wow, what a cuck he is.

No. 69598

i have been engaged before and it was awful lol

the guy had zero ambition and my dad arranged for him a decent job because i was struggling to be able to live by myself and i hated living at home (i lived with my mum). anyway so we moved out together to an apartment (we were hs sweethearts). ended leaving apartment early because of plumbing issues blahblah, found a small house. i worked in the city and him at a company 5 mins away.

anyway. he ends up leaving his job because 'sad' (most likely regret throwing away many opportunities and being lazy) and guilted me and my dad to keep him a float until he found himself.

anyway, i'm working 40 hours a week and commuting 5-8hrs a week, while still having to do everything around the house. so our 5 yr anniversary comes up and he tells me to take week off work.

it was a relaxing week, just hung about. then he takes me to pizza hut for dinner on our anniversary, then proposes shortly after at one of our favourite walks. he did light candles etc, but i am terrified of the dark and he told me he lost his phone when he went for a piss…

anyway. it was an altogether terrible relationship and there was no romance. we weren't even intimate in the last 2 years (the present is like 4 years later and i honestly can't remember how the dude was in bed), he was very angry, addicted to the xbox, and always needed boys weekend to 'chill' out even tho he didn't work. my dad was helping me with a deposit for a house and my fiancé was acting so entitled and defiant. he actually snapped at me one day over house plans and where to put the plugs. he didn't even work or do housework! and he went home to his ma's everyday to get feed while i was out of the house.

anyway, i pulled out of the house and now 4 years later in my final year at uni. i really hope i can get a lovely proposal and plan a wedding and have a family. i do have a bf who has discussed family stuff (i am older now haha, my ex proposed to me when i was 21/22. we never even had an engagement party and only wedding venue we visited i gurned beforehand and didn't want to go) my current bf makes fun of me a bit for it all. and i would too lol

oh and the engagement ring he got me he got me online for under £100 because he didn't get the right size and the jeweller couldn't resize it because it was too soft of a metal. so he said no biggie and had me one order for next day delivery. he then told me it was a fake diamond too. just the whole thing was awful. his friends would damage property and be rude to me, and he would talk down and belittle me. i always was arranging trips to europe etc, before i dumped him i had organised one with his best mates and even they saw how much he nagged me and just was miserable. oh and i was in therapy for like a year before the break up. i had my own family issues, and he would throw them in my face and every fight was my fault because i was just ike my family. he said i needed to change etc. but he never wanted to hear about my therapy and 'recovery' (fyi i feel like my therapy was a waste of time, any impartial person could have told me what i heard, but at that time i didn't have many impartial people in my life). i finally dumped him because i wanted to show him a crystal my therapist had gifted me and something she told me, and he was just so flat out condescending and rude. i just dumped him on the spot and phoned my mum who was more an issue for me at therapy and asked her to move home. she said yea and i was gone that night.

i hope he tells people the real reason he was dumped. because after all the shite he put me thru and made out how much of a villain i was and unkind, that he, the kind starving artist could not have gave one fuck about me, my mental state or happiness. he just wanted my money

No. 69601

How the hell does that make him a cuck?

That word is overused so much in situations that it shouldn't be, it barely has meaning anymore.

No. 69610

word definitely has meaning but (s)he's just being hateful or jealous, doesn't even make sense in that context

No. 69611

probably because she's the only one who got a ring in this case

"being a cuck" nowadays mean literally "being taken advantage of"
not that her husband is either, but i can see why someone would think that

No. 69619

As if that matters, if the ring was really that important I'm sure they could get one, his not having one (especially since they eloped) is not a big deal and says nothing about him. The word "cuck" is meaningless when it's used as a random, nonsensical insult like this.

You're lucky you got out of it early or he would have taken more money in alimony payments.

No. 69624

pretty sure the anon means the tradition is to take his last name, dumb ass. Not do some hybrid name

No. 69630

I'd be shamed heavily for making up a new last name or forging the two of my last names and adding his last name. ;_; It's like if you want everyone to call you T-bone or try to force a nickname like Fallen Angel for yourself …

I would not shame others for it nonetheless, though.

>Simple, just don't have kids.


No. 69651

I'm the former. We literally aren't having a ceremony or anythything because we kind of decided to elope so we only really want to get legally married asap. Honestly neither of us WANTED to get married but it was more that we didn't want to be without each other. So it's much better than the alternative.

No. 70308

He has a ring but didn't want me to spend the money for the matching one because it costs twice what the women's one costed.

No. 70342

We talked extensively about getting married. No ring, neither cared/don’t like the idea of one, and the wedding was at his childhood home. It was perfect. Been married for a few years now, honestly the best decision I ever made.

I don’t believe in destiny or soul mates, but sometimes I really wonder if maybe all the shitty things I’ve done weren’t so bad. I’ve had some crap luck, but my relationship with my husband honestly just keeps me going.

No. 70352

I love this post anon. I too have done some proper stupid stuff and had a rough time that my fiance, I feel like he is my good karma I got in return. Nothing is ever truly that bad anymore with him as a constant in my life.

No. 90794

I then grind on poles at the presenter or organizer and anyone else because of my mouth so I don't think it's a good job is connections, followed by grades. To T I'm bitter forever I wish people would love to follow more unknown artists.

Shouldn't there be an annoucement for the quality is all i can post anything you want, Anon.

I hope they are happy and hopefully I'll get some salt-infused boba pearls, to sprinkle all over it makes you and makes them feel good. There's so many reboots lately that only happen if you've only smoked?

No. 202350

File: 1629256363428.png (70.21 KB, 452x430, 1566172019515.png)

Getting married next year and I am stresssing out about the walking down the aisle music. I want to have an organist play something, but not something predictable like "here comes the bride" song or pachelbel's canon. Anyone know any good wedding organ music?

No. 202362

Debussy? He wrote some very otherworldly pieces. Very enchanting. Same with Ravel, "Daphnis et Chloe".

No. 202387

Bach's Tocata and Fugue…just kidding!

Second this. How about some of Beethoven's emperor piano concertos? They give a grandiose feeling, imo.

No. 299898

File: 1668722932874.jpeg (125.83 KB, 800x1067, 22-39-800x1067.jpeg)

Trends you guys hate? I hate the water-wing sleeve look that's so popular in wedding dresses right now. People get strapless sweetheart neckline dresses but then they add big puffy detachable sleeves on their bicep area so then their shoulders are still bare. It looks really silly to me.

I was wedding dress shopping and there's always a tiny little detail that makes me hate the dress even though everything else is beautiful and nice. Like for example the skirt would be PERFECT with it's tulle, the delicate lace appliques… but then the top would either be a rectangle neckline rather than sweetheart. Or I'd love the top of the dress, love how there is a corset built in, love how it's sweetheart but then the tulle skirt either has too much details or too bare.

I was so sick of being picky that I just picked the least offensive dress to me. It had the tulle I wanted, the off-white-light-pink colour I wanted, the delicate rose lace appliques I wanted, but it isn't sweetheart neckline, it has no built-in corset and it's a spaghetti strap which is yuck. I am planning on altering my dress to the spaghetti strap can be flutter sleeves or cape sleeves. unfortunately I can't make it off-the shoulder because the dress's bodice requires the spaghetti straps for support.

This dress would've been perfect if it didn't have the bodice had minor adjustments. Picrel is what the dress sort of looks like. I bought it months ago and forget the name of the dress and designer kek

No. 299902

File: 1668723091123.jpeg (88.81 KB, 550x733, roses.jpeg)

oh fuck i found it ignore that picture in past post

No. 299905

File: 1668723340064.jpeg (137.88 KB, 900x1653, MLL1101Htwf.jpeg)

Anyway here are the water wings I was telling you about

No. 299907

I agree nonny it looks really silly. All I can think is how dumb and impotent it would look if she raised her arms.

No. 299908

I've seen this trend with non-wedding dresses too, and I don't like it either. I want to like it, but it just feels like separate pieces from the dress

No. 299909

Ew, yes, it feels like a dumb trend that people will regret in just a few years. Like imagine looking back at your wedding pics and seeing…that.

No. 299912

I actually like the spaghetti straps for a bigger bust. It helps to create a tighter look at the bodice, and then it flows down from that. The flowly tulle helps with that.

My problem is that the spaghetti straps kind of make it look like a homecoming dress. A little informal. What would y'all say is the best way to make it a bit "fancier"

No. 300000

I am c cup and my breast shape is strange because it isn’t full on top, just full on bottom. Also have no cleavage because the nipples point outwards (very flat in the middle of my chest unless I squeeze my boobs together with a bra). Might have to wear a push up bra on my wedding day.

I’ve been meaning to buy a corset because I love LOVE LOOOOOVE the corset trend. It adds shape to the dress. It’s just too bad my dress doesn’t come with one so it’s unstructured and I don’t have the breast size/shape to fill out the bodice nicely.

I was thinking of bringing my dress to a tailor/seamstress and request addition of cape sleeves or flutter sleeves to the spaghetti straps to make it more romantic. I’d prefer the off the shoulder look which is trendy where you have a little bit of strip sliding off your shoulder. Problem is I can’t do that because the bodice has no structure and NEEDS the straps to rest on the shoulders to hold the whole dress up.

Any cosplay anons out there or good seamstress hobbyist anons with any inputs?

No. 300001

I think this has the potential to look very nice, I just don't like it in this particular picture.

No. 300003

Honestly, cape sleeves sound like the way to go, and I think have a more elegant look than >>299905

No. 300022

Oh we’re talking about this dress >>299902
Not >>299905
Anon used >>299905 to showcase what she hates

No. 300028

File: 1668799186825.jpeg (345.33 KB, 556x813, 0249B5A4-2F7E-4021-8BAE-16304E…)

I like the cape sleeve idea too. If it’s cold where you are, maybe your seamstress could integrate the spaghetti straps into a long sleeve appliqué look like pic rel? Not quite off the shoulder though.

No. 300121

OP of wedding dress pic. Long sleeves were off the menu for me whenever I went dress shopping. That was my no-go sleeve style. I like flowy things and am planning my seamstress to take the extra material from hemming the skirt to fashion it into some type of sleeve. I was thinking balloon sleeves too or cape or flutter. Except balloon may make the dress dated because the last time they were popular was the 80s (I.e little mermaid wedding dress and Princess Diana). They are popular now too but I can’t do off the shoulder due to dress’s structure

No. 300341

I got engaged to my turbulent relationship of ~6 years (minus the times we were broken up) in late July of this year. We were pretty sure we could make it work this time and everything was in the works–my family had the church reserved in my home country, I had told my close friends and my coworkers. The whole thing kind of felt really weird to me and I still don't know if it was just "cold feet" or if it was wrong from the start. He thought it would be funny to keep it a secret and let people find out on their own, but I wanted him to be excited to tell everyone. He never told his extended family in another country because they hate me for no real reason.

We (I) ended the engagement in early September. I got hit by a car in August and it really fucked me up and made me perceive my life differently. I regret getting engaged, but I also regret ending the engagement–things could have been so easy and probably nice for us. We had already seen the worst of each other, so there was really nothing left to hide. I guess I'm sharing this with a warning to not nitpick your partner too much, not overthink your doubts. Unless there is something seriously toxic or abusive about your relationship, I feel like most things can be ironed out with hard work and care.

No. 300365

I agree. It's so easy to end a relationship from a single moment's worth of anxiety, but even relationships after the most painful breakups can be repaired if you truly love each other.

No. 300367

My boyfriend of three years and I are saving up to buy a house together cause we're sick of living in apartments - but I heard someone say recently it's stupid to buy a house with someone if you're not married. Anyone know if there's any truth to this??

No. 300380

I agree too. I very naively thought that the right relationship would just automatically fix all of my intimacy problems but when I found someone who felt soooo right those old doubts still crept up and it ruined a loot of my confidence. Were taking some time away from each other but I hope we can work it out

No. 300395

Kek nonna you guys have been together for three years and you aren’t married? Why sink any funds into a moid that can’t be forced to pay it back incase shit goes downhill. Atleast in divorce you can keep the house, most of the time they put the property under one persons name so if he’s the one handling it and you’re helping to pay it’ll still be his and you can legally be evicted if he wants you gone. Better put anything important under your name and not his.

No. 300398

If both your names are going on the mortgage then it doesn't make much of a difference. In the case that you split you'll both still be liable and will have to work it out between you. If its only in his name then you're at risk of being evicted but.. you'll be able to walk away debt free that way.

People have outdated views where they think being married means you'll just be handed the house in the case of a split but that's not how it works. Its up to you whether you want to marry first but marriage isnt as 'protective to women' as people make it out to be. You'll still have a shared debt if you split before the mortgage is paid off.

No. 300402

Depends on where you live and your local laws, don't ask this online to strangers with no context whatsoever kek

No. 300534

Your post raises a fair question: how long do you think you should date someone before you propose/get married? Someone I know met a guy, started dating, and got married within six months which seems pretty fast. Personally, I would want to date my partner for at least three years before we make a major decision like that. Gives both parties enough time to get comfortable and show if they're truly compatible in the long run. A year or less doesn't give you enough time to gauge anything.

No. 391088

I recently got married to my sweet nigel and I'm incredibly grateful that I lived long enough to see this come to pass. When I was a kid I thought that this day would never come.

No. 391090

File: 1713036003014.png (2.19 MB, 1920x716, 1000011027.png)

Any advice on dealing with parents who aren't keen on the idea of marriage? My bf and I have a really wonderful relationship and we've always openly discussed the future together, there's basically nothing to complain about with each other and we agree that an engagement makes sense sometime this year. But both of our sets of parents are really uneasy about it.

For my parents, they kind of have a set idea of how my life should go and are really unwilling to even talk about any deviations. They've always really infantalized me and basically try to handhold me through life, and they will hardly even talk about any of my ideas for my life, it just gets dismissed as "not listening." They also keep strongly implying that if I get married my husband will hate me because I'm not a good catch, so I shouldn't get too close to any men.
His parents kinda think that he ought to date around and basically be a noncommital player before settling down, I guess? They also don't like the idea of his finances supporting me.
Both of our families are also kinda materialistic and think that it's important to have tons of money, so they think we can't afford to settle down, even though it's totally possible. We just won't be, y'know, millionaires or anything.

It sucks because our relationship with each other is going great but our relationships with our families is getting strained because they don't like how seriously we take our commitment to each other. Any advice? Obviously we are adults who ultimately make our own decisions and won't let their opinions stop us, but I just wish I could do something to ease the tension.

No. 391091

i'm sorry nonna, i know this probably isn't what you want to hear but if they're not even interested in what you want for your own life then unfortunately there really isn't anything you can do. if your relationship with your nigel is healthy and you can support yourselves then you should get married if that's what you two want. your families will either come around or they won't but you can't compromise your happiness just to please them when it sounds like they're control freaks who won't be satisfied unless you do exactly whatever they want you to do.

No. 391120

Your parents probably wouldn't be happy with you even if you did everything they wanted you to. There's no way to please people like that. Same goes for his parents.
You can try working with a therapist on a strategy to make them understand you, or you can just smile and nod when they lecture you and then do whatever you want anyway. Ultimately, what can they do? Remove you from the will? You'll still be an entirely independent person.
Although speaking of independence, don't become a housewife without backup income or savings. You have to plan for all eventualities. If you don't, you'll just prove your parents right that you're too naive to live in the world.

No. 391938

A bit of a necro, but this is a good question to ask, so I’ll respond anyway:
Statistically, 2-3 years is best unless you’re college-age or younger (in which case it’s better to wait longer). Waiting more than 3 years only has a negligible impact on divorce chances, while waiting less than 2 has significantly more risk, especially if marriage happens within a year. Of course this depends on other things, like how well a couple knew each other before dating, how often they’re able to see each other, and so on.

Also, contrary to popular belief, neither living together nor having sex before marriage reduces the risk of divorce. Independently of religious belief, both of those things actually correlate with less stable and less happy marriages.
It’s a shame so many women have been told that playing house for guys without commitment from them is a good thing. One of the worst things to hear about that’s become so common these days is a noncommittal guy leaving a long-term gf after squandering her 20s holding out for a dream he never had any intention of seeing through. Dating should weed out guys who would take their wives for granted, not enable them to do that to women without any consequences.

No. 391964

Get out of there. Don't lose your 30s too. You have so much life to live and honestly there's nothing special about marriage, only about the person you choose to do it with. Marriage is nothing if you don't love the person you're with, and your scrote sounds overbearing. Also, being with the same person since 16 years old is absolutely miserable, you deserve new and exciting experiences. Please, even though you care for him and don't want to hurt his feelings, don't stick around. Think about your life and happiness in the long term. And divorce him.

No. 391982

32 year old virgin here.
My mom told me “marriage isn’t for everyone”.
Am I missing out on anything if I never get married?

No. 391985

just an expensive party and a legal obligation to someone. it's not the marriage part that's nice, it's having a loving relationship. but if you are not lonely and do not desire a one-on-one type bond like that you're missing nothing. you can be fulfilled in other ways and give and receive love in other ways.

No. 392005

Depends. If youre happy single, no. If you are in a commited relationship and especially if kids are involved, yes.

No. 392016

its letting me NEET the fuck out at least

No. 392105

Not at all. In fact, it’s very self aware not to prioritise marriage if you are content with single life.

No. 401880

File: 1717039701475.png (912.69 KB, 850x850, BE1D32H_STSL5.6RD3_1_white_top…)

I finally bit the bullet and told my boyfriend he can propose to me. I was unsure about commitment for so long, but now I feel like he's really the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

So now I'm trying to decide on the type of engagement ring I want. I'm leaning toward emerald or sapphire with a halo of diamonds (picrel is a light green sapphire) or maybe even a black diamond as the center stone. Otoh I might just do the normal thing and ask for a white diamond (is it even normal to ask for a specific style of engagement ring? I don't know but I'd rather know what type of ring I'm getting beforehand).

No. 401883

Really, anon? A BLACK diamond? Also a colored stone with a halo around it reminds me of a dinner or cocktail ring which as nice as those were in 1920 or 1930, gives me costume jewelry vibes.

No. 401885

Marriage, except in extremely rare cases where its genuine love between two good people, seems totally and utterly pointless to me. Almost narcissistic. Two people lying to each other, pretending that they're going to be there for the other person forever when 99% chance they're not, and pretending they don't want to fuck other people for the rest of their lives, especially on the man's part.

No. 401889

Avoid getting an emerald nonna, they’re too soft and get scratched to hell especially if your ring is for daily use. Sapphire is a better alternative. Keep in mind halos like in your picrel are susceptible to losing diamonds, especially if your ring is not well made. Expect having to replace them routinely.

It’s totally normal for people to pick out their engagement ring, but you don’t have to be there every step of a custom design ring if you don’t want to. It’s also normal to have some pics for inspo, send them to your boyfriend, and have him go from there. Just do what’s best for you and your situation.

No. 401890

She's not going to purchase a custom ring. She doesn't even know what she wants yet. Anon needs to wait a few years or go look in person for a long time before dropping hundreds to thousands on an engagement ring.

No. 401892

It was an example of how involved someone could be in the process, not a recommendation. Nonna sounds pretty young and unsure though. I agree she should wait.

No. 401907

Nta but what's wrong with black diamonds?

No. 401912

You can totally go to a goldsmith and pick your rings together, that's common enough.

No. 401941

In my ideal world, I would be married or at least engaged in a year. I told my current Nigel this before we met in person and he had no issue with that idea.
I was in an almost 7 year relationship up until 2 years ago and I almost stayed because I saw him looking for engagement rings, but that stopped because he was obsessed with drinking, smoking, and porn. I want children so I can't have my children's father be like that. Current guy is straight edge so I think I'm set for success. We've also briefly discussed what kind of marriage we'd like. Both of us aren't overly religious, but I like the look of cathedrals, so I want something maybe in a church, or at least something with stained glass kek. I have a whole pinterest board to show him.

What's up with both of your parents? How old are you guys? Are you in your very early 20s? Regardless of age, you're both adults and your parents have to let that go. They can't control either of your guy's decisions. Sometimes getting married will be the thing that sets them in their place, but hopefully that behavior from them stops, sometimes it won't.

No. 402073

Okay what is the consensus on lab grown vs natural diamonds? I'm getting engaged and I can not choose between them. I can get a much larger diamond for cheap but it won't retain any value as there is in infinite supply, opposed to natural diamonds that are only going to get rarer and rarer. I'm thinking, when I pass away as an old woman, do I want to give my children an heirloom that is something of actual value or not? I can't decide!!

No. 402076

File: 1717109956341.jpg (948.94 KB, 2000x1333, 1693245410-princess-diana-enga…)

Coloured stones with halo are timeless classics

No. 402081

Natural diamonds are mined using slave labour.

Regardless does the value of the stone matter if you presumably hope your kids will love and treasure the ring when they inherit it instead of reselling the diamond and scrap metal for money?

No. 402082

>mined using slave labour
I don't give a shit. The fact some starving ugly ass African children probably died fighting in some civil war whilst retrieving it just so that a beautiful white woman like myself in the west could wear it, makes it all the more valuable to me.

I would like them to cherish it and keep it but I'm thinking what if something terrible happened to them? What If they got into an accident and couldn't afford health bills? I wouldn't want them to sell it but it would give them at least something of value to sell incase of emergencies.(racebaiting)

No. 402086

People like you are why I can't give a shit when leftists make fun of white women

No. 402088

Idk what anyone expected from tradthot thread central.

No. 402089

She's probably being sarcastic

No. 404722

this was 100% correct. weird how indignant the responses were.

No. 404731

No. 404770

I also want to know. It was 6 years ago, I wonder if they're still married.

No. 409586

I didn't want my BF doing a corny public bent-knee proposal so what I did was I initiated a conversation about getting married and asked him, not in some proposal-esque way with scripted lines and down on one knee, but just in the regular tone of a question that comes up in a regular conversation. When he said 'yes' I moved things quickly as hell to prevent him from thinking he had to follow up my real proposal with a performative one in public and all of that. I was especially determined to avoid the horror of a public proposal.
It worked. He went along with everything, including handing me the engagement ring immediately after paying for it, to avoid the dreaded performative surprise proposal with photographers lurking in the bushes somewhere.
We've been married five years. The only part of it I regret was my reason for doing it. I have a lot of anxiety issues and I felt like, even though I wanted to marry my husband, being put on the spot the way moids typically do with their public photographed proposals might have left me too anxious to give him a clear and immediate yes. It might have hurt his feelings if I'd let him do it the traditional way, because my initial reaction could have been interpreted as a rejection.

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