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In my case I'm kind of the shitty friend. I quit talking to my best friend from high school and we haven't seen each other in over a year. We went to the same college and I just kept finding reasons to turn down her requests to hang out or go to dinner. Eventually I dropped out and now we live in different cities and I've been fairly unresponsive the few times she's tried to message me and she gave up around 5 months ago. The worst part is that I still talk to her ex-boyfriend (though only in a group chat on discord with some other high school friends). I'm not trying to get with him or anything, he's made some subtle passes at me and I put a hard stop to them, and we never talk in person or one-on-one, but I still feel guilty about it.
I'm just confused about it all I guess. I started to dislike things about her personality in high school (she was one of the "not like other girls" types, to the point that she shamed female abuse victims because she thought they were "weak" despite never having been abused herself and being abusive toward her ex) but I was literally her only friend for a long time. She has a new boyfriend (I'm actually pretty sure she was emotionally cheating on her ex with the guy she's dating now) so I know she's not completely alone at least.
I'd also be a little ashamed to see her again because I'm a dropout, jobless, no work experience, and in debt + living with my parents and she's on the path to success right now all things considered. I don't resent her for it, her family is more supportive both emotionally and financially and, more importantly, she was always more hard-working than me and I knew she'd succeed, I'd just feel ashamed to meet up with her now, plus we'd have nothing to talk about. We don't really like any of the same things anymore and we wouldn't even have school in common as a topic of conversation.
She's kind of a symptom of a bigger problem though honestly. Even in high school I was constantly trying to find excuses not to go out when my friends invited me places. That part isn't really unique to her. The few friends that I have now sometimes invite me to their place like a half hour away to hang out and even when I have the time and gas I still make up excuses not to go. I just don't like spending time with other people and haven't for a long time but I don't think she really knows that about me. We went to a small high school where there weren't really any "loners" because it was hard not to end up with some group, and I was relatively easygoing within our friend group whereas she was on bad terms with a few of them so she probably thought I was good at making friends when in reality I wasn't putting much effort into any of my friendships at all. I'm not on any social media so for all she knows I just totally ghosted her to start hanging out with new people when in reality I haven't hung out with someone besides my immediate family in well over a year.
Basically TL;DR I don't want to be her friend anymore but I feel bad about how cold I've been about it but not really bad enough to reach out again. Sorry for the wall of text this was way longer than I intended it to be lol.
All of my HS friends seemed to be weeby and later progressed into being otherkin. I feel like I have a bad magnet attraction to these people for some reason.. I mean they were nice but over time became OBSESSED with otherkin and witchcraft. I just felt like we couldn't relate anymore and they had ~anxiety~ so they never made effort to talk anymore.
The first friend became super involved with witchcraft, which is fine. But she got SO obsessed to the point its all she ever does/talks about/thinks about. Everything is the result of her Gods, spells, or prayers. Like think crazy christian but with witch craft. She thought the ocean and birds talked to her , built shrines , cut off people's locks of hair for curse spells, the list goes on. She thought she was a blue fairy mermaid in a past life. I have no problem with being open towards other religions, I just can't stand people who rely on them and can't think for themselves, or take it too far obsessively.
Another friend just disappeared off the radar with no explaination one day. I still subscribe to her youtube but she just stopped messaging me all together one day and deleted her facebook without a word. Never did remake it either. But on her youtube, its nothing but muslim chantings (and she's white from a small conservative town), and how to wear a burqa, etc. Just completely unlike her. She even used to be quite racist again muslims and now she converted to the religion at full force. Idk religion just sucks people in and they seem like a completely different obsessed person.
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I've lost close friends because of their moms, we'll call them Ben and Amy.
Amy was my friend from elementary to high school. Her mom was very controlling for every aspect of her life, Amy's mom didn't like that I was very close with her kid so she would do whatever she could to sabotage our relationship like talk mad shit about me, turn off the home phones so whenever I called she wouldn't know. I think she also did this to her cellphone as well. It was rough being Amy's friend she wanted to remain friends but her mom was always in the way and always so damn obsessed with her.
Ben was my friend from highschool to college
He was one of my close friends, I cared alot about him and vice versa. We had our click but alot of the times it was just the 2 of us playing video games together. Long story short I had to leave home for awhile and his mom let me stay at their place for $20-50 rent because we all know and care for each other. Keep in mind I've known Ben and his family for 8 years, whenever they had holiday dinners or special dinners they would invite me. So basically in the time span of 2 months I learn that Ben's mom is a alchoholic that takes a cocktail of over 6+ antidepressants medications throughout the day+ has frequent mental break downs and crazy fights with her boyfriend. It got to the point where she called her married ex who cheated on her to snuggle and kinda flirt. I was so damn angry when it was time for me to go she threw a 1.3k bill for "rent". She basically blamed me for all her own problems and had the fucking nerve to say "Anon, I notified you that this was gonn happen. I told you I couldn't handle it." So saying "Anon I can't handle this" means "you have to pay me 1.3k now" in her alchoholic ass brain. I was so scared, mad and sad. I ended up paying her 900-1k because I was afraid, she was intimidating me with her drug addict bf and basically dangled Ben and I's relationship over my head. Ben was my bestfriend and I was afraid of losing him, it was stupid of me and I shouldn't have given that crazy bitch shit. Ben was aware of all this but chose to stay out of it because he's a non confrontational kind of guy. Since then I stopped hanging out with him and our click, we still talked here and there online but I cut him off after he sent me a msg that looked like what something his mom told him to say to me.
I had only one friend in my previous school, a girl who transfered in 5 grade. I don't really want to talk much about it, so here's a TLDR; i struggle with Eating Disorder for 3 years now because of both me and her; she always talked about dieting and such, and even though my body was doing really good at that time, she kept saying that i need to lose weight, too, etc.
She started dating a guy on who i had a crush for a long time right after i told her about it. Though their so-called relationship lasted a month, lmao;
Our class was shitty overall, they all were complete rats and disrespectful kiddos. I tended to spend half of a year in hospital for my whole childhood because of health issues since the beginning, im a total introvert and shy, yet a wannabe rich cool kiddos started massive bullying towards me at 6 grade till i left this school, yet she never protected me or talked to me / them about it, even though she was hanging out w em alot.
I always forgave her about all the shit she done and done everything for her because she was the only one with who i still could spend some good time. I was so stupid.
And here goes the story of my life:
I've 'lost' my friends 2 times so far. I was friends with this girl when i was like 13-15; initially we both were not that popular but stuck together with some other girls and overall it was great. However, i knew that she was a notorious liar and my mom often warned me about it… In 10th grade she went for a gap year and then she came back she was a changed person. Acted all cool and superior, of course the rest of the class now interested in her, and therefore she no longer needed me and the other girls. Starting from that i kind of became a lonely person.
In my last year of HS i got together with another group and it was all fine, until after graduation 2 of them again went to another country. There was a time when they didn't write back for weeks, so me and the others who stayed at home, decided to do the same to them. Instead of realizing that they did something wrong in the first place, they decided that we are no longer friends. Since i barely have any friends at all, i didn't want to lose them, so i apologized (even tho i know that i shouldn't have…) and we sort of made up, but it simply died down afterwards (i haven't met up with one of them for nearly a year now).
Nowadays i'm quite lonely, i didn't manage to make friends at uni, so i only have the 2 other ones who did not go abroad left.
One of them is never texting me on her accord, it's always me who's initiating meet-ups and most of the time she's quitting at the last minute, like just half an hour earlier, so sometimes i'm even already dressed and stuff…
The other one is really nice, but lives quite far away; last week i was meeting her, but it somehow felt strange. Just 2 years ago we had so much fun, now we see each other so rarely, but somehow… i can't really describe it. It's as if the 'lighness' of life is gone, although i'm still young…? I was so looking forward to seeing her but it was not what it used to be, so just that shortly after HS without any of us even getting married and stuff we already drifted apart…>>69050>>69052>>69057
Honestly, reading this made me feel slightly bad… I wonder if i'm guilty of this as well.
Do you all generally prefer not talking about any 'negative' things at all?
had a best friend for years. Never realized at the time all the horrible things she did to me.
she would get me to steal cigarettes off my mother and if I didn't she wouldn't hang out with me
would get insanely jealous if she saw any guy talking to me and would bring up embarrassing stuff I might have said to her in confidence in front of them
I have a surgery scar and she convinced me that every guy who saw it would be repulsed by it and not date me
stole my birthday money from me and stole my makeup
dropped me once someone else came along. Haven't spoken to her in about 5 years. Strange what I put up with because my confidence was so low
I just defriended my ex best friend last night on Facebook. Let's call her Jane.
To begin with, she had been pretty absent from my life for a couple of months. While she was living with me, she almost never wanted to do anything together, which was understandable because she was working full time and I wasn't. She also had a new boyfriend, which also understandably takes up people's time. But on the weekends, I would invite her and her bf to go to brunch together. She never went once.
Then we were fighting a lot, over random stuff. After one big fight, Jane complained about me to her mom, even though she had told me how much she hated her mom and even wanted to cut off her family. I didn't completely agree, but during those times I had tried to be supportive. Jane was also fighting with her mom on the phone a lot at the time before this, so Jane changing her mind suddenly was off-putting to me.
After a few months at the end of 2016, Jane had to move away, but in retrospect, we were not good roommates. Jane said she wanted me to come over one weekend, but she cancelled. She also said she was worried about me and wanted to call, but she never did. I only have seen her two times this year when she happened to be in town for stuff.
On the other hand, I grew much closer with my new roommate Alice. We spent a lot of time together, and Alice was very supportive of me when I was having a rough time. By the beginning of the summer, I considered Alice my new best friend.
I continued to try to be a good friend to Jane though. A few weeks ago, she said she was feeling lonely because her boyfriend had an increased workload. I said my phone was always open.
Short after that was the straw that broke the camel's back. While talking about people we knew, Jane commented on an acquaintance having a baby with a black guy. I thought it was a weird thing to say, so I asked why it was important. She said she didn't really support interracial children. This was a huge shock to me, because I thought it was absurdly racist, and she said it to me even though I had interracial relationships in the past. Jane accused me of changing my mind on the subject, which I thought was absurd. And she accused me of being a hypocrite, because in the past I said that people shouldn't be so politically polarized.
She started calling me unpleasant, even though two weeks before that she was talking about how she wanted to go to NYC with me. She also accused me of being a SJW. I feel like it's some sort of mental illness speaking. Maybe I'm just projecting, but I feel like I've reacted similarly because of my own mental illness, but I'm not going to deal with someone who insults me.
The weirdest thing was that Jane started accusing me of being bad at my major in college and saying I sucked at it, which was even more absurd, because to the best of my knowledge, she had never taken a class in the subject. So the last thing I sent to her was the "You need a high IQ to enjoy Rick and Morty" meme but I had changed it to reference my major instead. Jane thought it was real, got mad, and continued to insist I didn't know very much about my major.
I decided to break things off with Jane last night for real and unfriended her. I'm really glad that I have Alice as my best friend instead. By the way, Alice actually majored in my subject for college and thinks I'm fine in it.
Yeah it's a wall of text, but it's a long story. I'm sure Jane would say something different, but it's my side of the story.
Some more random things:
A few months ago, she wanted me to make an order on a website for her because it was kind of complicated. Since I had made an order on the same website, I said I could make an order as long as she transferred the money to me first. Fair? The day the money hit my bank account, I got super sick with the flu and could barely get out of bed. She said she was concerned about her order and wanted me to buy it despite me being sick. Didn't say sorry about me being sick, to my recollection. She was really concerned about the item she wanted to order going out of stock. Can't believe I put up with that. It was so insulting in retrospect.
She was also really open about her dislike of my friends. One time, she met one of them and after talking with him five minutes, she concluded he was "insufferable". To be honest, I didn't have the best first impression of him, and it took us a long time to become friends, but I thought it was a bizarre thing to say. She also concluded that because he was dating an Asian girl, he wanted a submissive girlfriend, which was completely wrong. (She was from a super rich family and went to an elite private school while he was from a much poorer family)
Also, the same day she concluded another girl she had met was "cool". But that girl actually is a huge SJW. What a great judge of character.
Every best friend I've ever had, except my SO, has ditched me. Even into adulthood, I just can't seem to hang onto people.
One of my sorority sisters and my would-be MOH just started ghosting me one day and started acting like I didn't exist because she wanted to hang out with girlfriends of some fraternity she liked instead. It started with some movie I had been dying to see with her (forgot what it was.) Without even cancelling our plans to go, she just went with some girls and their boyfriends and ignored my text. Every time I'd try to hang out with her, she'd lie about why she couldn't, and then I'd see her on her Snapchat story living it up. When I asked her if we could have a serious talk, she did the same thing: lied and basically livestreamed herself getting wasted. I know it's tacky, but I asked her not to be in my wedding party anymore.
Months later, we sort of made up and I told her I'd still like it if she could come to the wedding because if was also a going away party (Husband and I moved abroad three weeks later) and she said yes. Then, she didn't show up and gave no explanation.
Girl who wound up being my MOH and I had been friends much longer and we had gotten really close again. When I first moved, her and I messaged over LINE and IG all day. She preferred to talk about herself and her problems and her dog, but I was happy to still have someone close from back home to talk to. When we got a dog, I was excited to join in the dog talk, but she just wanted to talk about hers.
She was the first person to visit us and stay with us in our new country. She wasn't a bad guest, at first, but she started to complain about silly things (our dog didn't sleep in a crate, we didn't have a dryer, etc.) and then said, "I would never want a marriage like yours" when my husband and I had a very quick disagreement that we immediately resolved.
We went to Paris together when she was here and it was MISERABLE. She didn't care about any of the sights, complained that the hotel room I got was too small, complained that I ate less than her, and was just so rude in public. When she left, I was so glad to be rid of her. I tried messaging her again after she had left, thinking maybe I was just overreacting–and she's still just as self-centered and rude as ever. Never, EVER asked me how I was when I'd reach out. Just complain or brag about her own things and would just stop messaging.
I use to work in a national park and live on the property in employee housing. You could only pray to get a decent roommate, since most of the employees there were either young adults, scumbags, and jail/prison people making a way back into society. If you lived on property, you were mandated to pay $400 a month for your shitty room, and an extra $10 a day for a three meal plan. I wouldn't have minded all that, if I wasn't getting paid only $7.25 an hour in horrid working conditions. I barely made any money.
Anyway, while my first roommate was a decent human being, she soon had to leave when the tourism was dying down for the year. I made friends with a girl who worked in the same department as me and we became pretty close. I had to have a new roommate, so I asked her to. We talked every night, shared so much with each other, and I really felt like I could trust her. But I was naive and I should have known better.
So one day, I was going on a date with my new boyfriend at the time, and wanted to pay half for my own meal. I didn't want to seem like a princess who wanted everything paid for her. My card was declined, I had no money in the bank (debit). I thought it was strange, since I just had gotten paid a few days ago and I had been saving what little money I could. My mother had the bank account under her name as well, and I called her asking if she took out a large sum, due to the fact that my sister had been in a life-threatening car accident back home. She said no. $1,600 was used on my debit card for online gambling, dumb items on Amazon I would never buy in a million years, an expensive Kindle, etc.
At the exact same time, I noticed a few items from my room going missing. An extra bar of soap, a comfy pair of pants I wore every night, and an expensive little vibrator I bought for myself as a Christmas present that I had hidden away. Then someone fucked with my laptop. I couldn't bring my computer when I had moved so I had bought a nice laptop for a good deal. I came to my room one day to find that the power button had been SUPER GLUED over. I immediately confronted my roommate when I got back, who absolutely denied doing anything. She suggested we change our room key cards because she thought someone might had broken in. But I wasn't fooled. I chipped the button with scissors and managed to turn it on again. A few days later, someone had attempted to get into the laptop and bypass the password. They managed to get into the DDOS, type in a random thing you have to remember the password for exactly, and it wouldn't turn on, I don't know exactly. I tried taking it to a computer repair shop, and told me that without the original typed password in the DDOS, it would never work again. At the same time, AGAIN, the storage unit me and her shared was broken into and everything was stolen. I truly felt like someone was after me.
I would have been more scared at the time, since I had virtually no family or friends out there, just myself, if it wasn't for my new boyfriend. He offered me to come and move in with him to his apartment, which I was so grateful for. He saw how much I was spiraling out of control and offered to help and support me while my money was missing. Before I moved out, I filed a police report against my roommate with the park rangers about my stolen items, damaged laptop, and money from my bank account. Then was the only one who bothered going to the police about my missing storage unit items (they caught who did it but never recovered my things). I had to play it cool for a whole week before I finally moved out of that vile place. As I gathered the rest of the things from my room, she was in there. I finally confronted her. I screamed in her face, employees hearing me from down the housing hallway. I yelled that she thought she could "play my ass for a fucking fool" and that she was responsible for everything. The only thing she vehemently denied was the storage unit theft (which she didn't do). It felt so great to unload on her, especially since she always talked about how "tough" she was and how she would fight street bitches in Vegas and all this dumb shit. I managed to make her shrink from me, even trying to call park security guards on me (they didn't show lol). Confronting her like I did was one of the best things I've ever done, and seeing her get weighed down in guilt in real time felt great.
After all that though, I still couldn't quit my job. I had no mode of transportation of my own, I now was in desperate need of money, and my contract was almost up anyway. The managers of the lodge I worked in told me not to cause a stir about it. They forced me to work with her in the same department still (I refused to work directly with her or talk to her), and told me not to tell other employees of what she did to me. They took no action against her except for the park rangers. She was still working there when I finally got laid off. I got into a blow out argument with my manager about working alone with her once and clocked out in front of her to show that I was serious. The only ones who found out were the ones who could hear me screaming at her the day I moved out. Most of them confronted me themselves and offered condolences. I did tell others who I thought would have become her roommate or were kind of chummy with her. It took two years for my case to wrap up with her, them handling it very shoddily. I only received half of what was money was stolen from me back. By then, I was too tired to argue with park rangers or police about it anymore. I was just so exhausted with it all.
All of this took place in less than a month. It did a great deal of mental damage, experiencing PTSD-like symptoms and betrayal trauma. My depression over the entire thing led me to self harm, which I never did before then. I was drawing and making artwork before then, I didn't draw for nearly two years after that month, having to nearly re-learn everything. I am doing much better now. I've become a much tougher and stronger person through the entire incident. It fucked me up a lot, but I can now speak up for myself and let others know that I'm not a person to be played with without consequences.
Anon, that sounds like in a movie… So glad you made it out of there, she's really a psycho! And these park rangers were pussies for not doing anything against her…>>69208
Now that's creepy…?
I had two friend who completely ruined my ''college experience'' because they hated eachother. When they fought, they wouldn't speak to eachother for weeks. I couldn't and didn't want to chose, so I tried to get along with them. Everytime I spoke to one of them, the other got mad and vice versa. Even when I tried to help both in some classes, they used that to get mad at me too. Worst part is that when they talked, they acted as if nothing had happened, while I had to listen all the shit they thought about eachother for days, non stop. I could tell some stories about how shitty they were with me, how horrible they made me feel, guilty all the time, as if I was doing something wrong just because I didn't want to lose any friend and, actually, their problems didn't affect or include me at all. They were just extremetely proud and headstrong.
Finally, I got to a point where I couldn't stand it anymore and I told them I wanted to end our friendship because I felt I couldn't trust them anymore (they were so fake, I was always worried that they thought the same horrible things of me too but they couldn't tell me because we were only three in our group so I was literally the only one who they could talk to). They decided to become ''best friends'' after all and told me they never wanted to see me ever again.
Recently one of them apologized because she felt ''so alone'' and I was ''the best friend after all''. Truth is that I know she doesn't get along anymore with the other girl (it was obviously going to happen) and I'm too hurt to act as if nothing happened, differently to them. What hurt me the most is that during four years I had to be between them because I actually loved them as sisters and when I tried to think of me FOR ONCE, they ''betrayed'' me trying to make me think they actually cared for eachother, just to hurt me when I knew and I know that they can't stand eachother.