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No. 66632
It's fucking tragic how alcoholism is treated like a humorous, relatable thing in the US. I see birthday cards for 21 year olds that are all "HURR DURR GO GET A DRINK XDD", have customers who come in every single day and buy 2-4 cans of beer or other customers who buy several bottles of wine and packs of beer, and people make games out of it everywhere thinking it's cool and funny. I noticed a post from r/drunk trending on the front page the other day and internally raged, the whole sub is "teehee look I drink and am stupid!!!" bullshit. It's disgusting how this poisonous substance is encouraged by people so frequently like it's nbd.
I have an uncle who's an alcoholic, he's a disgusting swine who smells of alcohol, constantly shakes, and talks like he's mentally challenged. He's also abusive towards his parents and breaks everything they have when they're extremely poor. One time he brought a dog home and then threw it against the wall by the neck. My dad was also a piece of shit alcoholic as well, drove drunk with me in the car at night from family parties when I was a child, and his side of the family would encourage him to get drunk then let him drive with me like that. He would do jack shit all day except drink and not look for a job.
Sorry for the rant anons, but I hate alcohol so much. Please don't ever drink for your own sakes, it's not worth the money or time.
No. 66644
>>66632Wow anon, you sound like a lot of fun
For one thing lolcow is supposed to be a 18+ board so everyone here has already tried alcohol. Drinking is fun, and it's not so bad going hard every once in a while. Also I've started finally appreciating the taste of beer now. I understand drinking is addictive and is bad for you, but it's not like banning it will change anything. You sound like you need a drink.
No. 66658
>>66632>>66646I should have been more clear about that, but if you're posting on a thread about addictions and struggle with one, then no, you shouldn't be ingesting an addictive substance at all.
And first anon, the whole "you're no fun unless you're drinking" idea makes you sound like you're fairly young yourself, along with the wild assumptions. Not everyone over 18 has had a drink, smoked a cig, etc., and not doing those things does not make a person childish or uptight.
Not sure why alcohol-obsessed people get so
triggered when others don't drink, and try to pressure them into their habits
No. 66670
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>>66668Go for a run or ride a bike while listening to some good music.
Go to the gym if you have the resources for that. Nobody ever said sports are something you have to do with other people.
If you find that moving your body on your own is boring, join a club. That will also allow you to get in contact with other people and distract yourself for a bit, and help you work on your anxiety.
Anxiety sucks, but it's not supposed to be an excuse to never change your toxic lifestyle. It's another obstacle to overcome, which is why you should work on exactly that, overcoming it.
Since this isn't the fitness thread, I too have had some mild problems with substance abuse in the past. It was mostly weed and at times alcohol, and I still smoke every now and then, but not as much. I find that my habits were born out of boredom.
It's easy to get high before doing stuff and then coming to the conclusion it's more fun that way, but thinking like this makes it easy for things to go out of control. I started getting rid of my dependencies by setting strict goals for myself, like one would when trying to lose weight and eat less. I told myself to try and not smoke for three days to begin with. I only truly realised I had a problem when I found myself disregarding my plans and smoking that same evening. I kept thinking of logical-sounding bullshit excuses for myself to keep up the habit, and that was a wake-up call.
No. 66687
>>66685No, you're normal, endorphins from exercise aren't THAT intense. People are OTT about how good they feel after working out, it's basically a meme at this point.
I feel mediocre after working out for the sake of working out. I feel great after doing sports, but that's all psychological and related to my enjoyment and performance.
No. 66851
My own experience: I am alcoholic, it's not an everyday thing, but it's not normal, every 2-3 days I drink half a bottle of vodka (and I drink every friday, saturday and sunday) so I can be happy, my boyfriend just dumped me, I don't have any friends and I have eating disorders, clinical depression, anxiety, I'm suicidal and other stuff, I can't sleep unless I'm drunk, I'ts just terrible, I'm here because I don't have anyone, I was on treatment(shrink and pills) but I don't have the money to keep going. I'm also a gym rat because of my body dysmorphia, I go to the gym 2:30 hours a day, I don't know what to do anymore. I need advice, please. I don't do drugs, not even mj, it scares me. Alcohol fills those voids, it's sad.
No. 66852
I know this is a shit thing to say and I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I'm just so glad to see so many anons with drinking problems here.
I felt like such a retarded piece of shit for having a problem with alcohol. I kept thinking, everyone drinks normally and don't get addicted, why is it only me? How are my friends able to hang out for hours without a drink? Why is it only me?
And it's such a shameful addiction. Not that addiction, in general, isn't shameful, but an addiction to alcohol felt so dirty and disgusting. Alcoholism is for poor middle-aged men, not kawaii young girls. I even tried other drugs for a while, even harder ones, because then it'd feel like a had a legitimate reason to be addicted ("it's a strong/addictive substance!") instead of just being a weak-minded fuck-up. And turns out I still liked alcohol better.
I'm doing better now, sort of. As depressing as that is, I only started getting my shit together after hitting a rock bottom of sorts - friends and family started noticing (and thinking less of me for it), the consequences of whatever dumb shit I did while drunk started piling up, I started drinking in order to stop caring about the consequences of my drinking. I failed classes because I was passed out from sunday drinking on the monday morning and missed an important test.
Until shit piled up so high I couldn't stop caring even if I drank. I just accepted I'd need to stop and deal with it, now. That I had to deal with it as soon as possible, that each and every minute I spent drunk would only mean more shit to fix once I finally sobered up. So I started tapering, and kind of stopped.
I relapse sometimes, especially when I'm with friends who don't judge. With people who do judge, I manage to only have a few beers and stop. Not drinking daily really shows you what a toll it takes on your body, because you're finally sober enough for long enough to notice your skin is shit, your stomach and liver feel like crap, you're shaking, you can't sleep, you're in a much worse mood than you'd be if you hadn't drunk… it can get boring if substances are your #1 source of entertainment, or if you need them to enjoy other things, but you have to deal with it.
A good thing to keep in mind is that it fucks with your chemical balance but that goes away after a while. You absolutely will feel like crap for a while. But it does go away, it does get better. And if you're drinking to cope with mental illness or anxiety, try remember this too: the alcohol is making it a lot worse.
No. 66857
>>66644 NAYRT but alcoholism is no joke to deal with when another family member has that issue. My father has been an alcoholic for the majority of my life and it's an absolute nightmare to live with him or to even go to family events. He's driven many people away with his addiction and my mother was always too scared to do anything about it either, she tiptoes around the topic or hides away whenever he has an outburst.
One of his cousins died from alcohol poisoning a few years ago, she'd binge drink so much that her kids and husband found bottles of liquor hidden all over the inside of their house. He does absolutely nothing to help himself so to be honest I feel like I need to mentally prepare myself for the ordeal that's going to be him having cirrhosis in a couple years. I started reading recovery books for 'adult children of alcoholics' and as it implies alcoholism also fucks up the personalities of the kids or spouses who get wrapped up in the problem. Unless I go to therapy I'll never be normal or be able to enjoy a drink with friends.
And since addictive personality traits run through our family I'm without a doubt addicted to the internet. I spend hours every day on my phone browsing, doing absolutely nothing but reading or checking my email. I don't even have Facebook or instagram but I can't stop going online and stay up browsing until my head hurts. I need to start turning my phone off every day or switch back to a dumbphone.
No. 66867
>>66857Hey, I've had a similar situation. Father was an alcoholic. Him and my mom never let me go anywhere, so I spent all of my time on my computer which led to my addiction to internet. I spend 8 hours a day at the computer at work, only to come home and spend another 4-5 hours on the web.
I don't have instagram and similar shit either and I have a dumbphone so I don't go online when I'm not indoors. Having a dumbphone is absolutely awesome, no fomo at all, highly recommend.
No. 66887
>>66868>>66870I'm addicted to alcohol and I don't get withdrawal symptoms, because of how much and when I consume it. I don't get the shakes or sweats or anything when I can't have it, I just get massively irritable. So, withdrawal symptoms =/= addictions.
Addiction is just the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity that 1) You sometimes use more than you would like to use. 2) You continue to use despite negative consequences. That's literally it. It can be anything. I have a friend who is addicted to exercise, and I can say that because of how negatively her life and mental state have been affected. TBH it sounds like you're running from the looser definition of addiction to avoid coming to terms with your own addictions in life, thinking you're 'better' than most because you don't stoop to drugs or alcohol. It makes it safer in your mind, it's just a distraction! It isn't. You're running away from yourself just like the alcoholic is.
>>66871It sounds like you need it for anxiety. The only things that can help with that is therapy to get to the root of your anxiety and seeing if there are other coping skills besides xanax. I'm doing that ATM with my anti-depressants because they fuck me up for good and bad.
No. 67087
>>66914Try one of those small disposable cigarettes or vaporizers. They're still not very good for you but they're less toxic and still have nicotine in them for you to get your kick. That's what was effective for me and don't listen to the retarded kids who don't even smoke that think vaping is a meme. It's been effective for a lot of people who are trying to get away from cigarettes but struggle with addiction.
Pretty much it's about cutting down until you don't need to rely on it anymore. I think vapes and disposables are a better method than nicotine chewing gum.
No. 67089
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This isn't as severe as some of you guys' problems here, but I have a pretty extreme addiction to soda. Coca Cola, specifically. I have cravings for it almost constantly. It almost hurts physically to restrict myself. I know it's probably ruining my health, but I HAVE gone from 5 cans a day to usually just 1 or 2. Does anyone have advice for cutting it out completely?
No. 67096
>>67089>>67090Don't do this, I'd go with tea instead. Coffee contains a lot more caffeine than soda drinks do (sometimes more than double). So changing it in with coffee will just be a bad time all around.
Cutting it slowly is honestly the best way, and then after that you just need to NOT buy it, maybe have it as a treat on a saturday but never keep it in your house.
If you never want to drink it again, you could get one of those apps to track how long you have been without drinking it, and then calculate how much money you would spend on soda each week, and then buy yourself something nice with that money after not having drank soda for x amount of time.
No. 67099
>>67089i have terrible coke addiction i almost kicked twice now but i always bounce. recently i started drinking it with enormous amounts of ice, undiluted soda already started to taste a little gross, so maybe i will be able to wean myself off it again that way.
funny though when i eat sweet grapes i'm out after a cup or so because they taste too sweet to me, but 400kcal worth of coke is totally okay to my palate. thank you carbonated jew.
No. 201663
>>201629A big mind switch for me was realising smoking didn’t actually help any breakdown. Like I am still stressed now I’ve given up, but at least I’m not stressed AND a smoker.
Honestly I still miss it like fuck I just try and focus on the money saved
No. 204681
>>201663same here. It doesn‘t relieve stress and the need to smoke stresses more than the ‚good‘ effect from it, i.e. the short nicotine buzz. We just get tricked by our own brains because it’s so addictive and increases the concentration capacity for the blink of a second, hence why so many people are addicted to smoking at work.
Not to mention that your concentration ability is way better off without your brain being under constant additional stress from addiction.
>>202188I used to smoke a shitload like that too for many years. What is really important imo is to radically stop smoking in the morning or whenever you get up. The later you enter ‚smoker mode‘, the less you will smoke over the day. In my experience, after the first cigarette the urge to smoke more in regular intervals is much stronger, so delay that as much as you can. Not starting your day with smoking was the biggest step for me, and it will get easier over time to the point where you feel disgusted at the idea of smoking early and it becomea an evening thing. For me it was a slow road, nowadays I only smoke when I‘m drunk because otherwise it gives me a headache.
No. 341143
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how do i stop drinking. i just want to stop drinking. it is my one and only vice. how do i stop drinking.
No. 341177
>>341152-Alcohol increases chances of getting all types of cancer - throat, stomach, breast, etc
-Long term heavy drinking makes your neurons shrink
-Depending on a substance just to have a regular day is cringe. That's basically a breathing tax
No. 341248
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I have an insane painkiller addiction that I've had on and off for 5 years (constant for 2+). I was able to kick alcohol and weed successfully but I cannot for the life of me fucking quit opiates. I just constantly need it, every day, and need more. Sometimes I take some stims to get a poor man's speedball. I just don't wanna die and I'm so tired of this. Almost no one in my life knows because I put extra effort in looking healthy and busy.
What can I do? If I went to some clinic would they give me a substitution treatment or is that just for those who do heroin? I feel so fucked. Nonnas please never do opiates as much as you can avoid it.
No. 341400
>>341323In all seriousness that didn't sound like a meme because I realized I haven't really been told that before. I'm looking for a qualified therapist to treat a CSA issue I've never really adressed. It made me troon out when I was a teen and I guess going back to reality in my adult life, with a body forever changed by a knee-jerk subconscious reaction to the abuse, is unbearable enough that I only get a break thanks to opiates. It'd make sense since weed made me dumb and alcohol made me sad, there's something unique that's hard to describe about opiates specifically that both help you escape the moment and make your body feel great within that moment.
I think you're honestly right, until I unpack all the above with a professional that actually knows what she's doing, just taking a bunch of methadone and hoping the addiction disappears is not going to work.
No. 341415
>>341412I have both those things too, doctors in my state are just like “damn that’s crazy, anyway…”
What would you do about the pain if it weren’t for the meds?
No. 341489
>>341415That's pretty criminal of doctors not to give you pain management solutions if you do suffer. If it weren't for the meds either I'd consider suicide, alcoholism or a lot more of my money would go into heavy doses of Kratom (which I already supplement the meds with a few times a week). Part of it is hyperalgesia due to having been on the meds for so long but the pain makes daily activities difficult, I couldn't take the reduced quality of life if I had no way of numbing pain (or at least tackle flareups).
I have no idea how you can bear it. Physical therapy and a TENS machine have actually helped a lot for me but not enough to make me consider life without codeine for now. It sounds cliché but they really did work better than "try yoga and swimming".
No. 342248
>>342241>>342239Screenshot these posts and save them as a reminder,
nonnie.
No. 342697
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someone please fucking help me with my internet addiction. i lost my job in feb and instead of using my free time to read or draw like ive always wanted ive been pissing it away on the internet and daydreaming. help.
No. 342702
>>342697The only thing that works for me is to get physically far away from any device and get busy with something or someone, but you have to do it in the first place. If you want to read, go to the library, in my case I always feel too shameful around others to do anything other than reading/working there. If you want to draw, go to a cafe, a park or something remote where you don't have access to your computer/phone and can focus. The start of the day is really important imo, so try to do something immediatly when you wake up that is not browsing the internet or you'll set a bad intention for the day. Good luck
nonnie, we're in this together.
No. 342723
>>342702thank u
nonnie ill give ur advice a go
No. 343042
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After my mental health got worse and I lost a lot of people I've grown to have a shopping addiction and I've become a hoarder to fill the hole I felt inside.
I feel so ashamed about it and clean everyday although The hoard is an organized mess it stresses me seeing so much as I suffer from OCD that's grown worse, I cannot touch my own food and I can't hold myself back from buying something or else I'll think about it until I get it but when I do get it I don't care about it anymore. I've gotten a bit better as I realized I need to stop, I use to have to buy two of one thing so it could be mirrored when displayed but I finally held myself back and stopped. I want to stop my addiction and get rid of things, what can I do as the first step?
No. 343089
>>343042I think you did the first step already by realizing you had a problem and trying to get better. I wouldn't consider myself a full-on hoarder, but I used to thrift a lot during my teens and ended up with a ton of clothes that I almost never wore. I stocked most of those in cardboxes in a storage unit, but when I moved out I realized that there were carpet beetles which attacked all my collection and the stuff I really liked and wore. Anyway, it helped me throw out the unsalvageable stuff and was a wake up call to make some change. Some things that helped me :
Making some money selling stuff. Obviously it's a net loss in the end because you rarely make a profit, but it made it feel rewarding and it racked up pretty quickly so it was motivating. I don't know if you can set up a garage-sale, but it's a good way to get rid of a lot of stuff in a day.
Feeling good about donating things. I gifted nice clothes to friends and enjoy seeing them wearing things that were left in a closet for years. If it was for a charity, I'd imagine someone finding it and loving it and it was easier to let it go.
Don't think about the whole. Sometimes I felt like I would never get to the bottom of it, and the task seemed to daunting. The hoard didn't make itself in a day, so it will take some time. I found vidrel some time ago on a 30-day challenge where you have to get rid of 1 thing on day 1, 2 things on day 2 etc. It's a bit silly but it can be a good first start to do things progressively.
It gets easier. In my case, the more I got rid off, the more I wanted to be gone. I quickly forgot about the stuff I parted with and don't regret a thing, but I do feel lighter and better, prouder of myself, and I chase this feeling of clear-mindedness more now than the instant gratification of buying something. The process took me so much effort and time that I now think a lot before buying something, because I see it more as a potential burden.
This is only my experience, so I'm sorry if it isn't that helpful especially since you struggle with different issues. I hope you work your way to get through this, you can definitely do it, so you can feel lighter and less stressed out in the future.
No. 343167
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>>343042I have the same exact issues that you do nona, keeping u in my thoughts. It's so hard but breaking the cycle of it is possible. Do you notice the compulsory spending happens more when you're super on-edge and anxious? Every time I've been super high strung this week because of my summer classes I've wasted money buying things online to "soothe" myself, I cannot stop myself. Some of the packages came today and I'm too embarrassed to go pick them up because there are quite a few. If I keep doing this I'm not gonna have money for groceries kek. Anyway, sorry to blog in response but I feel ur struggle and I hope things start looking up for u.
No. 343168
>>343167I have a hoarding issue too and I'm just trying to get rid of things little by little like
>>343089 said. I keep imagining how happy I'll be when I have all of this clutter out of my life. It's not gonna be a permanent fix to my mental issues or compulsions but having a living space that is organized might inspire me to get my act together.
No. 345536
>>343168>>343167>>343089Thank you all for the sweet replies!
When I'm sad I turn to shopping to cope with the empty feeling, I've lost so many people this past year and I suffer from loneliness so buying things, even things I didn't need help fill that hole. now I'm that I own more than needed I'm stressed over it and find it hard to let go due to my OCD and the " what if I need this in the future feeling"
After my message I took the weekend to sit down and think about myself,I started collecting everything I no longer used and decided I will be selling at the local flea market soon! It doesn't matter how much I let this stuff go for as long as it clears space and I can keep my purchases down I'll be happy, whatever remains I will donate to the local thrift store.
I hope all the anons struggling with the same problem can get through it.
No. 386068
I have the most retarded weed addiction that doesn’t really make any sense.
I smoke weed every day since I was sixteen but I hate weed. Sure, in the first years I enjoyed it but in my early twenties I started to get pissed when I could actually feel the high, like not being able to think properly, being sucked into the couch etc. All I did was microdosing, enough to think I can relax but not enough to feel like I‘m under influence. But I needed it, still need it. I couldn‘t go on holidays without smuggling weed or finding a dealer immediately. I got kicked out of psych ward because I couldn‘t stop smoking and missed out on other opportunities to get help for my mental issues. Once I stopped and smoked cbd instead but the craving never really left and I fell back into it after 6 months or so. Since then I only had a break for 2-3 day maximum and I couldn‘t think of anything else than the irrational feeling of needing it.
Now I‘m on a break since like 5 days and aside from the feeling of needing it and uncomfortable dreams… I feel exactly the same like when I‘m on the right dosage. I could not tell the difference between a thc joint and a cbd joint when I accidently mixed them up but I have the illusion that the taste or burn in my lungs doesn‘t feel right and satisfying when there is only cbd.
The other reason why I feel the addiction makes no sense is because I have cakes with weed in it in my freezer but I hate edibles and it is missing the thing „I need“, also vaping or pipes don‘t do it. So i can‘t „really“ be addicted to the substance if I don‘t even want it in any other form than smoking it even when I‘m going through a physical withdrawal like now. Like what the fuck, why does my brain force me to waste money and be dependent on it like that?
I have the same issue with amphetamines! I get ritalin described in two different forms, the one is the lowest dosage, 10mg in a tablet that I can crush, cut in lines and sniff. The others are capsules that are designed in a way that there is nothing to crush snort.
So what is the result? Multiple packages of the capsules with higher dosages and longer lasting effects (8h instead of 4h) are stacked in my drawer and I rarely have the desire to take them. But when I get the 10mg pack with tablets to sniff once in two months? They‘re gone in a week in which I stay awake for three days every time. After they are gone I crave them for a few days and then don‘t care anymore. It‘s like eating potato chips. I don‘t really like them but when they are around, I eat them all. Why is my brain like this?
Can people who are addicted to drugs they don‘t even enjoy really stop?
Oh and lol, I had a „real“ and heavy addiction to benzos as well but it wasn‘t pointless in the sense of I really like the high and my body needed it to not get seizures, yet I managed to withdraw from an insanely high dosage over a few years.
I can get clean from benzos, not get addicted to alcohol, coke, amphetamines etc. But I can‘t stop smoking weed for my life?????????????????
Fuck me
No. 386080
>>386072I live in europe where it‘s still illegal but not that much of a big deal anymore and I think it‘s the same in other countries here with a few exceptions. At every bar, park, club, concert etc. are stoners. Are there even any non-muslim countries where smoking weed isn‘t accepted that aren‘t far away in asia or so? I have no desire to live in a non-european country with an exception of some places in the us and canada, japan and maybe south korea for a while because I can‘t stand heat and don‘t want to live in a religious state without first world living standards. singapore sounds boring as hell and I‘m not really interested in hong kong. I wouldn‘t have the means to go there, I‘m just a student and bartending is the only job I ever had.
where did you go and how long did you stay for? are you back, could you avoid smoking? didn’t you become an alcoholic by weed with booze?
No. 386085
>>386080Oops sorry for being retarded and assuming you're in the US kek. I went to South Korea for 6 months and yeah it pretty much immediately broke my weed addiction even though everyone there drinks like crazy. I just can't get addicted to alcohol, I'm not sure why but my brain won't let me. When I came back to a place where it was legal, my relationship with weed became a lot more manageable for awhile, but then I fell on some hard times and started leaning on it too much. Moved somewhere rural as fuck where it's illegal and no one smokes (but there's a huge alcohol culture). I've honestly come to believe pretty much everyone is addicted to
something, whether it's alcohol, nicotine, weed, fast food, gaming, or the internet. I don't think it's good, but I guess it helps me get a little perspective and realize I'm not uniquely bad with self-discipline, pretty much everyone has some sort of vice. Moderation is key, which is easier said than done, and I do worry about if I ever go back to a place with a heavy weed culture because it's so easy to fall into and feels relatively consequence free. It sounds like you just do substances that you form habits around, so it sounds like you're going to have to break those habits to break your substance. I think it is promising that you don't really like weed, it sounds like if you change up your circumstances you'll be able to kick it for good. I'm the opposite, I genuinely love everything about smoking weed, like the smell and taste and feel, which is why it's so hard for me to kick when it's around.
No. 386111
>>386085I bet you were already a koreafag before and knew some of the language etc? Could you find work there or what did you do? How was it in general? If you don‘t mind sharing. I wonder if liking the fashion, cinema, skin care, a fascination by some antics and wanting to marry the squid game actor won‘t be enough to enjoy it there? How was it language-wise?
I‘m a bit luckier because I don‘t feel that ashamed about it, I know enough other fuck ups and seeing alcoholics, annoying cokeheads make me feel like I‘m basically sober and most of all, still in reality. but i agree, lots of people have their vices but i also know enough people that don‘t have any harmful habits at al. Not sure what you mean by weed culture that you like or what kind of people there are? I do like the smell and taste but the cbd either doesn‘t have that specific one or I just think that because I need the thc. And I don‘t hate it entirely either.. that was a little exaggerated, what I still enjoy is to feel a bit more than nothing before I go to bed and can afford feeling lazy, sluggish and chill enough to watch movies and I would still enjoy doing it with a friend, goofing around all day and watch funny bullshit if anyone was here (also moved back to a rather rural area because of the benzo issues and all friends from here moved away). I also like some weaker sativa strains that made me feel euphoric and light but that‘s all in sort of a party mood, concert or social setting where i feel like dancing and letting go for the day. But at home and alone it just turns me into a couch potato with no motivation to get up for anything and when I can feel it messing with my mind, you know that psychotic feeling where you can‘t have a proper conversation and do much at all, then I get really stressed and just want it to end. I would enjoy moderate use like just in these social settings or during bed activities but I don‘t get to do any of it here and smoke from morning to night and hate it every time I accidently feel too high and hate the consequences of pointless smoking (money, vanity, mental issues, poor lungs). If I was able to just smoke one a night I wouldn‘t see an issue but that‘s never the case.
I assume you also tried to swap your current addiction with working out? God, I keep failing to force myself through the uncomfortable part before it suddenly feels nice and makes you high (allegedly). It‘s hard to believe but many addicts somehow made it like that. Is discipline also what keeps you from doing it or other reasons?
No. 387448
>>386111Sorry nona, forgot about this and so my reply is late. Yeah I'm part Korean and I studied abroad in Seoul. Work culture is notoriously terrible, but schooling was fine. Seoul specifically is very English-friendly, all the signs have English counterparts and it's not hard to navigate. Korean is hard to pick up if you're not exposed to it much, but they're very forgiving if you just try. My Korean is like a 5 year old's and no one cared. But the prevalence of alcohol is pretty offputting sometimes and is pushed in a way that would put most potheads to shame.
Also, by "weed culture" I just mean everyone around you smokes weed, everyone talks about the strains they like, there are dispensaries everywhere, smoking is sort of communal, etc. Just a ton of temptation and everyone treating it like it's no big deal, so you think maybe it wouldn't hurt to get back into it. Also, on second thought, I totally get what you mean about hating the effects. I feel like it's a really fun drug sometimes, like you said, before bed or on the weekends when you can afford to lounge around. But it feels fucking horrible to realize you wasted all day doing absolutely nothing because you were couchlocked. I also agree sativas are way better, I avoid indicas like the plague unless I need to go to sleep because they just make me so useless and lazy. I can't stand that feeling. It makes me genuinely really depressed and I feel like I'm losing time and wasting my life.
I did try working out as a replacement but it didn't work at all and I am convinced the whole "workout high" thing is a lie. The best I get is feeling less guilty for being too sedentary, which is rewarding. Honestly, I think the biggest thing I've been working on is understanding why I had such an unhealthy relationship with weed, and it just boiled down to living a life I didn't actually want to live. I realized I smoke the most when I'm either super stressed (and want to procrastinate/escape) and when I'm depressed (and want to wallow/spiral). So I'm trying to learn how to deal with those feelings productively because I want to be able to smoke without letting it take over my life in case I move somewhere it's legal.
But I do think quitting cold turkey by force and realizing…nothing that bad happened is really powerful because then you realize how psychological most of weed dependency is. I know it's not like that for everyone, but weed isn't a drug that will kill you if you stop smoking, it really is mind over matter. I think realizing you have that power is important in starting to tame your dependence on it.
No. 398434
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That's it, I've ended the cope and admitted to myself that I'm addicted to weed. I've been smoking daily for five years, and only coped because when I had to stop for a week or so (going on family visits, holidays etc.) it was pretty easy so I felt like it wasn't a real addiction and I could just stop whenever. In those times when I stopped for a bit, I would always think about how nice it was, and how I should quit, if only for a bit… and then would start again like nothing had happened. I'm putting an end to this and really want to stop, especially since I mostly smoke with tobacco thus memed myself into being addicted to that too. I know I'll never ditch weed completely out of my life, but I want it to become a special occurence, like shrooms and other substances, that I enjoy and indulge in a few times a year but not on the regular.
It's hard because I live with someone that smokes, but my mind is set now and I already feel more free and in control of myself. It was also harder than I thought because I can now feel my emotions 100%, and my depressive state hit me like never before. It was a wake-up call because now that I can really feel how out of it and depressed I have been all this time, I feel even more drive to overcome that state. I'm still smoking one hit or two every night to get myself to sleep, but I'll try to quit totally when I can afford to miss a night of sleep and finally regulate my sleep pattern.
I've written and drawn a cute journal entry to remind myself of why I'm quitting by listing all the negatives, then the positives. Of course the negatives far outweigh the positives, so I drew a tilted scale to symbolize that. I then picture myself in my mind, 10 years from now, still addicted to weed with yellow teeth, droopy eyes, foggy memory and slurred speech. Then, I picture my ideal self 10 years from now, a stacy that has control of her life and is ambitious, motivated and clear-minded. These two things really help me get away from negatives thoughts and focus on the future and the positives I already feel after quitting for a bit.
Is anyone else trying to quit weed or slow down?
No. 398482
>>398434I’m riding a sober wave in an attempt to quit edibles. Even the benign withdrawal symptoms can be awful if you’re stressed. I typically get really vivid dreams when I don’t take an edibles before I sleep and holy shit, they turn into the most realistic nightmares. I’ve woken up in a dead panic and been inconsolable for hours because of a dream where everyone I loved died and I couldn’t get them on the phone to check. It was awful. Even if you know it’s just a dream your body is still responding and dumping hormones and adrenaline.
Now that things in my life are calmer my vivid withdrawal dreams aren’t as inclined to turn into psychological torture so I’m taking the chance to quit. The edibles are getting too expensive anyway and I can’t justify the cost any more, not to mention the memory dysfunction that comes with regular use. Like you I feel a lot better when I’m not using, weed really should just be a nice little treat during good times or with chill friends.
No. 398725
>>398434Ugh. Yes. I've been a daily smoker for around four years now. The nail in the coffin was moving into an unofficially stoner-friendly apartment with zero oversight. I was and still am dealing with a lot of unprocessed bullshit so I used weed to numb it all and now I'm realizing I should've just dealt with it when I had the chance because now I have to deal with it
and quit weed.
I've switched to CBD and it's killed most of the withdrawals but not the psychological cravings. I feel the same as
>>386068 , my mind just knows it's not the same so it feels unsatisfying and not quite right. I've decided I'm allowed to smoke on saturdays and it's taking every single drop of willpower I have to make it happen. I've taken breaks before, tried to cut back, it never sticks. I have no idea if it'll stick this time, which probably means I'm already subconsciously planning on slipping up. It's just so fucking miserable.
I think probably the worst part is the emotions and the nightmares. I'm sitting up late right now because I can't calm down enough to go to sleep and I end up crying about something every time I'm alone with my thoughts. I have to remember though that weed lowers my overall tolerance to stress even if it helps me in the moment. I can't just run straight to getting high every time I think of a bad memory, that's not how a mature adult lives.
No. 398772
>>398482The nightmares and vivid dreams are really a pain, but they also drive me to quit. I feel like its our subconscious that has been put to sleep for too long and just lashes out now that it can finally express itself, so it floods your brain with everything that was locked up until then. I miss having (normal) dreams and remembering them, being in tune with my subconscious and interpreting the messages and symbols in them. I'm rooting for you nona, let's quit and save our money and time for better purposes!
>>398725I tried CBD before and I don't like it all, it isn't as satisfying as a real joint and it also gets me really nauseous for some reason. It's not because you failed before that you can't do it now. In my case, I feel like I've reached a breaking point and my mind is too set to go back on my decision. Maybe you could write the last sentences of your post somewhere, add the other reasons why you would like to quit, and just read them anytime you feel the urge to smoke. Holding yourself accountable is the hardest part but it's really the key in my opinion to bypass the impulsion. If you really know why you want to quit it's easier to get there. I also told the person that I'm living with that I'm quitting, so that if I want to relapse they will confront me. I know you'll get there in time nona, I'll think of both of you when I want to stay motivated.
No. 399639
>>389578>>387600Try replacing these substances (or the habit of using these substances) with going to the gym
Results guaranteed
>>387699The fact that alcohol is a devastating drug in the long term, and it is available in the form of Jack Daniels and Jim Beam pretty much in every grocery store and bar around the corner, is an appalling thing
Even tobacco cigarettes are "better" than alcohol in terms of long term harmful effects
No. 400012
I feel so pathetic for the fact that I quit heroin yet for the life of me I cannot stop smoking. All the friends I had from my junkie days have either died or relapsed, all bar one. I'm so incredibly lucky to be alive and well and have so many years sober under my belt. Everyone tells me how "strong" I am, and it's all bullshit. I genuinely don't think I can function as a person without some sort of fix. When I quit drugs, I hit the booze heavier, when I quit the booze I started smoking more and drinking more caffeine. It's always something, and while I do genuinely enjoy smoking, I can't help but wonder if it's a mental health thing. I've always romanticised my self-destruction, even now it's still tempting to go grab a bottle of whiskey and score some H and start chipping. My life is going great! I should never be thinking of these things! But that temptation is always there, the fucking devil on my shoulder. Nearly every time I smoke I think "damn, whiskey would go real nice with this" and then "opioids would go with this even better!". Sorry, this rant has no real point, I just needed to get it off my chest. Sick of being lauded as "strong", I get that it's a compliment but, geez, if only they knew how weak I truly was.
No. 400037
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>>398434I'm trying quit weed after 5ish years of daily smoking too. What sucks is I live with my parents who smoke multiple joints per day plus grow the stuff, so it's ALWAYS around me. I haven't been able to go more than 48 hours without smoking, and when I do I often replace the weed with alcohol, benadryl, or vyvanse. I got hooked on getting high every day to distract myself from sexual trauma and eating disorder thoughts. I've been trying to let myself feel my emotions and cry instead of reaching for the drugs but the last time I did that (last week) my boomer mother cornered me and hit me over the head a few times to "snap me out of it" so not suppressing emotions puts me at risk.
It's so tempting to be able to ingest something and immediately change my mood. My teeth and gums are getting fucked up from the hot smoke. I want to reduce the damage while I'm still young and can bounce back. But if I don't smoke weed the rexxie thoughts come back full force and I become so emotionally unstable. I feel like if I lived alone I could achieve sobriety much easier, but I live in fucking Canada and our country is bringing in a fuckton of international students to use them as cheap labour + is building no affordable housing + I have no savings. I told myself that at 23 I'd have my shit together but I don't and it feels like I've wasted so much time…
No. 403021
sorry nonnas, this is probably gonna be a bit of a long rant. this thread is kinda dead anyway but i need to get it off my chest
i finally admitted to myself that i'm addicted to cocaine and realised just how fucking common it is in my country if you're young and live in a big city. pretty much all of my friends (not even just close friends - colleagues, acquaintances, my bf's social circle) have at least tried 'hard' drugs, if not use them semi-regularly/recreationally, and it makes it so difficult to try and have a social life that doesn't involve a drug of some description. it's not even a case of poor judgement in making friends or intentionally choosing to keep that company; i went on a night out with my coworkers for the first time and every single one was on class A's, my managers included, and as much as i enjoy party drugs (unfortunately) i hate how normalised they are here.
i dabbled in coke at parties or on nights out because i liked that it masked my social anxiety, gave me confidence in myself and kept the feeling that everyone secretly dislikes my company at bay, and let me be unapologetically myself with people instead of thinking i was too weird or that the 'tism showed too much. then i started picking up myself and realised that i don't get wired on coke, i just get really productive and motivated and i'm able to focus, prioritise, and organise my thoughts, which is a very very welcome feeling when chronic depression keeps me from doing shit that needs to be done. realised that this is actually a very common experience for those with undiagnosed ADHD, because essentially you're just self-medicating with a different kind of stimulant that has the same effect as adderall. went to my GP after doing more research (but tactically left out the coke habit part in case they assumed i was just fishing for stimulants), they said that they were also fairly certain that i have ADHD based on my symptoms and assessment, but a formal diagnosis will take years to get because the waiting lists are so long now.
which means that now i'm stuck as a high-functioning cocaine addict at 23. i have a fast-paced management role, i maintain a good standard of living in the city centre, i have a very large friend circle now and an active social life - but if i didn't use coke, i likely wouldn't be able to keep up with all of this and risk being so fucking depressed that i lose everything and get sectioned. i feel like i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place until i can get prescribed ADHD medication. i'm even considering buying black market meds because i figured anything is better than burning a hole in my nose and fucking up my heart. i know that stopping buying coke would likely save me the money that i'd need for a private diagnosis so i can skip the waiting lists, but also i'd crash too hard to make it a viable option; i can't lose my job and most other aspects of my life are so chaotic and turbulent that i can't manage them without the clear head that coke gives me.
i'm bored of doing it. i don't necessarily enjoy the act itself but it's habitual now. if anything, i just want to keep it to recreational usage instead of functional, but ideally i'd stop altogether. and after struggling with an ED for all of my teens and twenties, it's 'nice' to not focus on that 100% of the time, but i know i'm always just replacing one addiction with another. if i do coke, i'm not eating, but i'm not binging/purging either, but i also can't sleep so i smoke more weed or abuse sleeping tablets (DPH), and then i'm so used to coke that for nights out i'll buy MDMA instead, and when the comedown from that inevitably happens i'll feed into the depressive spiral by intentionally k-holing to numb it out. it's just one big vicious circle and it ends with either getting clean from everything or probably dying . even seeing my friend become a homeless drug addict, another friend have a heart attack from daily coke use, and being hospitalised for extra cardiac-based complications of an antidepressant/sleeping tablet overdose (suicide attempt) that wouldn't have happened had i not been anorexic and abusing coke have not been enough of a wake-up call, so i really don't know what will be at this point. hopefully i'll get an actual ADHD diagnosis soon but i'm not banking on it solving all my problems because i clearly just have an addictive personality and substance abuse issues. pray for me nonnies
No. 403278
>>403021Never tried drugs, but I also live somewhere with a major coke problem. Pretty much everyone under the age of like 40 seems to be on it. Not just the stereotypical coke users like young hard partying women with rich parents or lawyers trying to unwind from stress or whoever, but seemingly conventional, nice, normal middle class people are commonly on it. There are lots of people living otherwise normal lives, who after finishing their normal jobs on a Friday evening go to the bar after work, keep passing by you every five minutes because they're going into the bathroom to do more bumps, and then go home to their normal homes where their normal spouses and kids are. They're functional, sure, but the question is how long can they stay functional with regular drug use?
You're so right about how it limits socialising if you're not interested in taking coke. I'm basically a recluse at this point because I avoid parties and peer pressure and just hang out with my one friend whose also clean-living. I've drifted apart from people I used to be close to because I'm good at saying no. It's just really crazy how if you're in the younger generation and don't want to do a substance that could ruin your life, you're the weird one.
I really feel for you nona, I hope you get the help you need. Is it possible for you to ask your parents for a loan for the private diagnosis?
I don't have the solution to drug dependency of course, but I would suggest reading Mackenzie Phillips' biography High on Arrival for motivation. She's the daughter of Papa John Phillips of the Mamas and the Papas (famous hippy group) and her father gave her drugs from a young age. Started off with weed and acid and was on coke by the time she was in her teens. She was a functional coke user for quite a while when she was starring on a sitcom until she got arrested, and then her addiction spiralled out of control. But she got clean after hitting rock bottom on multiple occasions and has been sober for over a decade now. I think if someone like her, who was literally raised to be an addict can get clean and stay clean, then anyone can.
No. 403344
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An update after I've managed to stop smoking any weed for about two weeks now. I feel so much better overall and my self-esteem has significantly gone up since. Not gonna lie, the mood swings are way worse than I would've anticipated. I can handle being overly emotional, but having such a short-temper when you're in a relationship is hard to deal with. I haven't been this snappy and angry since the worst phase of my teens, but I feel so grateful to finally feel my emotions, really feel them and be in touch with myself. This emotional rollercoaster phase is supposed to last for the first 2-4 weeks, so I'm excited to be past that point. Besides that, I'm starting to slowly build an appetite back. I didn't have much trouble with sleeping since I didn't quit cold turkey.
This is it for the negative side effects and the positives already outweigh them easily. I didn't have much relapsing thoughts, I knew my mind was set to it when I decided to stop. When I did, it was easy to blow them away since I've written down all the reasons I had to stop and all the positives I'm feeling. Reading what I wrote and keeping that in mind was the most motivating thing, and I'm excited to write a new journal entry at the 1 month mark to keep myself motivated. Telling people I stopped also helped me staying accountable. Now the hardest thing is realizing that even though it had taken such a big place in my life, it is not my only issue and weed wasn't the cause of all my problems. I might have had that mindset beforehand and thought this would be a miracle cure-all, but it obviously isn't. But it's way easier to face my problems now that I'm not held back.
Sending lots of positive thoughts and strength to nonas struggling. A lot of you itt are past the denial stage, already know why you're abusing drugs and what sets you back from stopping, so you have all the cards in your hands to make that change.
No. 403537
>>403278thank you for this
nonnie. 'casual' coke use is commonplace where i'm from too (might as well just say it: the UK) and what you've said about conventional middle-class people using on weekends with a spouse and kids at home is par for the course here too. it's probably less common in small towns, and i know that being a graduate in a city where nearly half of the population are under 40 means i have far more exposure to it. but in saying that, when i lived with my parents in a smaller town about an hour from a major city, i was still working with people my age who'd talk about their habitual weekend drug use, even when the local bars/clubs/pubs would only be open until around midnight.
slight tangent, but it's also standard to start going to festivals and parties at around 14/15/16 here - so naturally, when teens are away from parents for a weekend in a big field, sharing a tent with 10 mates and as much booze as their car can carry, they're going to be heavy and irresponsible with their drug use, and this is just accepted as a regular teenage experience. i'd probably be a hypocrite if i complained about the normalisation of it (as someone who partakes, largely enabled by the ease of being able to access drugs), but being able to source drugs at 16 for leeds fest should absolutely not be standard.
my parents wouldn't be able to lend me that amount of money unfortunately, and even though i have a great relationship with them and am open about my mental health, i'm not sure they'd consider a private diagnosis 'worth it' unless i told them about the coke addiction and it being the reason i need the medication. i'm fairly sure they know i've tried hard drugs on nights out and are kinda on a 'don't ask, don't tell' basis with me. they're cool with weed but confessing to being a cokehead is going to cause far bigger issues than i can handle honestly.
thank you for the recommendation, i love reading about success stories/watching intervention because it kinda humbles me when i start thinking things can't get any worse kek it might sound bad but it's genuinely really good for putting things in perspective and motivating yourself to make those changes.
>>403344two weeks is good going, congrats! your last sentence really resonated with me, it's frustrating being self-aware but feeling unable to change anything. at some point you admit that all the excuses you make as to why you keep using don't make a difference, because ultimately you are the only one who can change your thought/behaviour patterns. still makes you feel hopeless or weak to think that you're not capable of changing things though
sorry for the essays nonnies but it feels good to get this off my chest. i could talk for hours about drugs and addiction but it's not really a topic you want to get into irl kek
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