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/g/ - girl talk

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Townhall is scheduled for May 22nd, GMT 2PM.

File: 1495480773306.png (677.29 KB, 707x723, virginsuicides.png)

No. 61334

Post your stories about when you lost your virginity and thoughts about virginity/fist time sex in general.

No. 61335

I turned 25 not too long ago and it honestly doesn't bother me insofar as feeling ashamed or anything, but I want to just get it out of the way and lose my virginity. I downloaded Tinder and I'm psyching myself up to just go out and hook up with someone some day soon. I honestly think it would take a lot of pressure off of me psychologically when it comes to dating, etc.

Though, my main concern is pregnancy/being murdered at some guy's place, so I'm still thinking about it. Any of you guys ever do something like this?

No. 61336


Im 23 and I haven't had sex either. Not because im ugly or anything. Im a pretty girl! Im lovely but I am shit with connecting to people and affection. Relationships just haven't happened. Ive been on a few dates but never lead to anything- I could have had sex with a recent guy I went on dates with. But I wasnt into him…

I fear pregnancy and murder too :(

No. 61338

>I want to just get it out of the way
That doesn't sound like an excuse to lose your virginity to a complete stranger. it's not like virginity is something that pokes you in the leg every time you walk and you can't wait to get rid of it. But whatever I guess. Get on birth control and do it in a hotel, not some guy's house.

>it would take a lot of pressure off of me psychologically when it comes to dating, etc.

lol i really doubt it.

No. 61341

File: 1495481993890.jpg (1.29 MB, 1455x2300, c.jpg)

common sense and some of these will help with that.

No. 61342

I was 16 and snuck into a bar with some friends. We were all military brats living overseas so most of the clubs and bars didn't bother carding, especially if you were an Amerifag. I also developed rather early so I had a more mature body. It also helped that I happened to have the same look of a lot of the local girls so the military guys assumed I was one. Anyways I had snuck into a bar with my friends and we were drinking and dancing, just having a good time. A cute young marine started buying me drinks, which lead to us making out, which lead to us getting a cheap hotel room for the night. He was very sweet and kind of a goof, also pretty clumsy. I don't know if it was because he was drunk or if he was inexperienced too. But we fucked most of the night with lots of different positions, switching to oral, and even once in the tub. He had a decent sized cock, but not huge. I'd probably say it was average length, but I do recall it having a big head which is nice. Being a marine he had a very nicely built body yet he wasn't all jacked up quite yet. No chest or stomach hair at all, it was so smooth. I was sore as hell when I woke up but overall it felt pretty good, didn't orgasm though. He was still sleeping and I snuck out at dawn. Never saw him again, which is perfectly fine with me. I guess losing your virginity to a one night stand isn't exactly romantic but it served it's purpose and I still had a good time.

No. 61343

its only my assumption but it seems like anon is just nervous. there are plenty of people who are nervous about being a virgin and being in a relationship. being condescending about it surely cannot help.

No. 61344

Feels dorky admitting this, but even though I lost my virginity to my first bf at 14, I never felt "popped" or that it was a huge deal because I had learned how to vaginally masturbate via cybering when I was 13 (thanks AOL chatrooms). I had been masturbating clitorally since I was like 6, but I didn't know or have the words to describe what I was doing until I was 11 or 12.

Anyway, I didn't wake up the next day feeling any different about sex itself.
However I will say to anyone itt who hasn't lost it yet:
Do it with someone who you won't be embarrassed to know you've porked later on.

I remember naive 14 year old me being over-the-moon because a ~senior~ was asking me out. In middle school, I was always pegged as an uglyfat so any attention I got from boys I ate up.
He liked vidya, and boasted himself to be smart because he took a CAD class.
To be fair, I got to do a lot of cool shit as a freshman like go to senior prom.
Yet after that initial feelgood phase, I realized he was kind of a creepy looking dork and wasn't smart at all. Like he always talked about how he was gonna marry me and shit. Boasted his intelligence but he had a funny way of talking and worked at Burger King well after he graduated.
I broke up with him after 8 months.
He was extremely petty, and accused my 14 year old self of being a 'slut' and 'cheating' because I was going out with someone new a few weeks after.

To this day (I'm 25) he still tries to add me on facebook. When I still lived at my hometown he always tried to corner me someplace and ask me out for coffee or something. Asking how I was doing in "collage."
One time there was an accident in front of my old house, and he came rushing over with his dad to interfere with the scene bc they heard my address on a police scanner. ANY excuse he could find to see me, he'd use.

No. 61345

Same, there's nothing ridiculously wrong with me, but it just hasn't happened yet for me either.

No. 61346

Hey thanks for your opinion, I really want to read what others think about this.

What I meant is that when I date a guy I don't want there to be this weight on me thinking that could be the very first guy for me. I'd think there would be less pressure going in with this not on my mind, but obviously I don't have the experience to actually know…

No. 61347

Aw, I feel for you anon. I think if I'd had a high school romance it probably would've been something similar.

No. 61348

Aw jeez, totally didn't realize I've been namefagging (since I made the thread). I've since removed the name.

No. 61349

I sort of lost my virginity but my boyfriend couldn't get it all the way in, I'm too tight and he's very big and thick so it created this awkward situation in which I would be in a lot of pain and pussy out so we're yet to have proper sex which sucks because he's hot as fuck

No. 61350

Have you ever experimented with toys anon? Start small and gradually increase size, maybe.

No. 61351

actual sex or hymen popping?

No. 61358

Either one, virginity has a pretty loose definition imo.

No. 61359

I never lost my virginity because sex is gross, and I prefer friendship to sexual intercourse.

No. 61361

Same here. I don't want a gross dick inside me and I don't want anyone slobbering my genitals either. A bit of frottage is fine but I'm grossed out by the other stuff.

No. 61362

I was 17 or 16, it was with a guy I liked, but he just liked being a girls first.
I kinda regret it because he later fucked with my life in a lot of ways, but I was young and dumb.

We went to his place, awkward kissing, the killers playing in the background.
He fingered me a little before getting out the condom and forcing his dick in me, while I kinda asked a few time for him to please stop before I started to cry. I bled for 3 or 4 days after this. It hurt a lot, and it kind of turned me off from sex. Didn't do anything sexual for a long time after that experience.

We started dating way later though (shouldn't have tho).
Now I'm fine with sex, but I kinda wish my first time would have been nicer.

No. 61363

Are either of you asexual or lesbian?

No. 61364

Sorry to hear that. I imagine you realized by now, but that doesn't sound like sex, tbh. How old was he?

No. 61367

I don't know about those other anons but I think a lot of people are just not into sex, intimacy/cuddling sure but you can just jack off if you're horny.
They're just pressured into it, it's acceptable to masturabate now, or be single.
Sex is kind of gross when you think about it really.

No. 61368

Same. I don't want anyone to look or touch my body, either, really. It's peculiar because I'm really into hypersexual imagery and hentai, but actually putting myself in sexual situations makes me dry heave.

No. 61372

Oh man, my first time wasn't really fun. We were at my place, my bed was tiny so we barely fit on it, I was still a skelly with REALLY bad anxiety which only made things worse and my mother liked to just barge into my room whenever she pleased.
He is/was also slightly above average length and width wise. I knew what a dick looked like but I was really shocked at the size and, well, first time I saw one IRL. At least he had a good laugh.
Anyway, it was really painful with a tiny amount of blood later. Can't say I enjoyed it or wanted to do it again. I was actually really disappointed lol It took like a year or so to actually start enjoying sex.

No. 61378

Lost it to my bf (still with him) like ~6 years ago.

I don't even remember the specific first time, first several times we tried it has all blurred together.

It was REALLY painful and irritating for me, friction. The first lube we bought was some KY wARMING shit which only made it burn more.

We figured it out eventually tho so
not traumatized or anything , maybe my nerves were squeezing my vag shut idfk.

I still occasionally have the problem where my eyes are wetter than my vag tho… and I'm super eager to have sex without realizing I'm too dry, end up with some irritation after. I just have to not be dumb and lube up every time

No. 61380

It hurt like HELL even after fingering and everything
It took us a few days with lube to finally have actual sex
I will never forget it tbh

No. 61381

I'm bi. I just have a low sex drive and I'm pretty repulsed by sex. I have some weird kinks and I do masturbate sometimes but it's always kink of gross to me. I don't know if that makes me asexual, I wouldn't necessarily say so. I'm starting to think that what really repulses me is the skin on skin contact and the bodily fluids. Without that I can be really into it and I can even imagine doing pegging, I just don't want to be penetrated myself.

No. 61384

Tried with 2 guys around the age of 15. Hurts so much it didn't even got in. I did bleed, thought I lost my virginity.
Tried with (ex)boyfriend with loads of lube, no problems what so ever. I bled again and thought I lost my virginity twice, haha.

To be honest, if I didn't feel so pressured to lose my virginity I wouldn't have tried at 15 with those guys. All my friend where sluts who had new boyfriends every month and would sometimes talk about sex and stuff. I was at least 1,5 years younger than them but I felt incredibly left out. When I did have sex regularly it was suddenly cool to not talk about it whatsoever because 'it's private and I don't want to hear about your sexlife'.

I am now friends with a couple of girls who are younger than me (started a new school at a older age) and they didn't have sex yet, nor actual boyfriends. It's actually pretty nice not talking about that topic.

No. 61389

'm a fat ugly loser so I've never had a bf and never will. I turned 25 a year ago though, and I bought myself a Bad Dragon Lil' Squirt, since creampies are one of my biggest porn turn ons and I wanted to try it for myself, but I didn't think I big ol' honking regular Bad Dragon would be a good way to start. It hurt a little, and I'm not very vaginally sensitive anyways, but I do love being able to creampie myself and I'm completely satisfied. <3

No. 61392

Lost it at 19 to my first boyfriend after he kept pressuring me into it (After 6 months despite me telling him before we started dating i was waiting until i got married). Pressure continued for the next three years because I was convinced i was too ugly to find someone else, especially because his mom told me i was plain looking and he rarely complimented me unless he wanted to fuck me.

Only good thing is losing my virginity before i got married because holy shit some guys are REALLY bad at sex. Three years, came twice.

Second boyfriend, not at all.

Husband? Multiple. Always. Even during a quickie. And he's not well hung, it's proof size isn't always important.

In my opinion virginity should be lost when you're ready but unless it's really important to you for religious reasons, you shouldn't wait until marriage because sexual compatibility is important. I don't think bad sex the first few times together always means it'll always be bad since experience counts too, but if it's just continuously bad, it's just not gonna work out.

You can manage a relationship without sex or faking it but it depends on your sex drive (Mine's really low which is whyI kept it up with the first guy so long because i loved him. Ugh. )

I think there should be an age limit of 15-16 at the earliest honestly. You're not mentally mature enough at that age, and even that's too young. Everyone's different but if you want to lose it just to lose it or think of it as some kind of mark of being a real person or any kinda variation on this then you're probably not ready.

Also just because I HAVE met some retarded people who believe this: YOU CAN, REPEAT, CAN GET PREGNANT THE FIRST TIME YOU HAVE SEX. Don't be a retard.

There's probably at least one underaged kid lurking just to read around here so might as well shoot reminders for the rulerbreakers once in awhile not to be a retard.

No. 61395

I was 19 when I lost my virginity. It was gross, mainly because it was with my best friends step dad. He drove me to my house from my friends apartment because my car had broken down. I asked if he had a cig and from there a conversation started awkwardly in the truck. Anyways, somehow we set the mood up for sex aand it was great, but disgusting because he was around late 40s and his body was trash tier. A good 5 inches & his balls were so small it was funny to me. It did sort of hurt at first, but he had such loud country music (kek) I couldn't process the pain. I have a thing for sleazy old men feel free to judge. My friend didn't care though that I fucked her step dad. It was trailer trash trashy or really jerry springer worthy and I accept that as my first time.

No. 61405

mama June has 5 daughters from 5 different men,anon, don't give up.

No. 61411

At 16. A gross (personality, he didn't look half bad) guy I had been dating for a week bc I was bored. It was boring and underwhelming. Not bc I expected losing my virginity to be a huge thing, but bc he sucked and even virgin me knew that. I had already sucked dick for half a year, so it wasn't a big deal to me.

Kind of regret not waiting for someone I loved, would have been nice to have a cute story. But done is done, and I hardly ever think about it.

No. 61415

I thought I was being dumb and paranoid being afraid of murder and rape/pregnancy. I live in a very safe area so unless I hooked up with some muslim I'm sure I'd be fine but I guess I'm afraid of men in general. lol

No. 61429

ah, never had a sexual experience before but I popped my hymen masturbating

not that anyone cares lul

No. 61433

My first time wasn't especially cute or sweet, but I lost it to my husband when I was 20. 25 now. The first time really hurt, but I'm glad it was with someone that I love. I don't think there's any shame in waiting, nor is there any shame in losing it to someone just to do it–at any age.

No. 61434

I was so afraid that my first time would hurt so I broke my hymen myself at maybe around 14/15. I had already been masturbating for years so it wasn't really a big deal to me. I was also concerned that I wouldn't be able to use tampons unless I did it. Don't regret it at all, made my first time go a lot smoother and helped me learn more about myself. When I had sex for the first time though, I still bled a little so I guess I didn't do a great job.

I remember all the fuss people made about losing their virginity when I was younger and even though I felt really behind my peers, I found out much later that I was one of the first to lose my virginity which really surprised me. I also thought I'd experience some miraculous change thanks to all the focus the media puts on the subject but I felt the exact same. I figured that my friends would be asking me all the gory details and that somehow people would have more respect for me but nobody even asked. So to anyone feeling like they're missing out, I can almost guarantee you're not.

No. 61439

technically lost it to my 12 yo cousin when i was 6.
not willingly.
i didn't know what had happened until i was older. never told anyone irl

had my first consensual experience at 15 with a 5'4" hobbit man who looked like a woman. it was uncomfortable and i didn't cum. womp womp. regret it.
standard story.

No. 61443

I'm not a sentimental person in the least, but I still keep the playlist to which I lost my virginity. It's one of my favourite memories, and I like rekindling it from time to time by listening to it.

It was one of the coldest winters I remember, everything was frozen up. I decided to sleep over at my then boyfriend's place instead of trudging back home through the ice and snow. Inside was cosy and warm. I was 18 and in love for the first time. It just happened spontaneously and naturally.

It felt just like I dreamed it should, quite literally - I've had countless wet dreams before actually having sex, and it felt exactly like it felt in the dreams, despite me never having the experience of penetration up to that point, and only masturbating by rubbing my clit.

I can still picture vividly the soft glow of the computer screen highlighting his sexy naked body as we lay on the bed after it, satisfied and smiling, smoking cigarettes and basking in each other's presence.

I just let out a deep sigh writing that, and I am smiling a nostalgic smile. Ah, it's good to remember and appreciate those ways that life has been kind to me. I feel lucky and blessed.

That experience was crucial for shaping my sexuality - my attitudes, perceptions, behaviours. And it was the best possible experience for that.

No. 61444

Ha, I love this story. I mean, as long as you don't feel bad about it.

No. 61445

Same… I think that's good, though, since it seems a lot of people's first time is mostly trying to get it in and having it hurt a lot because of not having done that.

No. 61446

Sentence unclear, *not having broken the hymen.

No. 61450

Lost it at 21 to a good guy friend. Really regret it tbh. We got absolutely shitfaced and were hanging out in his room, got to talking about sex/relationships and after internally deciding it was time to lose it he tried to kiss me and I went for it. He was so drunk he forgot it was my first time so he just jammed it in there and it hurt like a bitch, I bled like crazy and he stopped because I was so in pain. Had to borrow a pad from his mom the next day because I was still bleeding (pretended my period came). It was awkward as shit in the morning and it destroyed our relationship.

I don't think I would've minded as much had we been more sober + he was also kind of a dick afterwards (semi-ghosted me and would only ever contact me afterwards when drunk/wanted to hook up which I didn't want to do)

Haven't had any sort of sexual encounter since then except for a drunken makeout with a girl on NYE about 3 years ago (and that was 2 years after my shitty de-virginity, lul)

No. 61451

File: 1495586257287.jpg (40.46 KB, 502x377, fef65751e6c90f933ce3992d183227…)

This is the image I had in my head reading that. Sounds nice, anon.

No. 61452

Lost it to my LDR boyfriend when he came to visit me.

Honestly, it was really nice and I don't regret it. I initiated, since we'd been fooling around so long and, let's be honest, were both probably repressed. I was 24. I hadn't been into guys in high school or college and honestly thought I was asexual until we met. He hadn't ever had a girlfriend before, either.

It was one of those times you dream about. Like the perfect encounter and everything that I had been told it would be, honestly. Sorry if this sounds like a weird, romantic smut, but it just was. The house was humid in the summertime and I distinctly remember turning on the air conditioner right before bringing him to the guest room to help him unpack some stuff from his luggage. One kiss lead to a lot of highly sexual touches and I insisted that he take it further. It felt natural to have him touch me and for me to explore him, and I wanted to hear him get turned on in real time and not text.

I'm glad I waited for him. I worried about it hurting, but I was really excited so it just felt fulfilling rather than "tight" like everyone describes.

We're on the verge of breaking up now, but I'm happy I lost my virginity to him rather than someone I don't know well or just randomly. Having sex with him felt like the summation of all my strong feelings.

No. 61460

I don't think you have to tell him, I didn't. Just be comfortable with penetration before hand.

No. 61466

Freshman year at my uni. Was hanging out with a guy I liked (we used to make out here and there, gave him some bjs etc etc). he was super wasted and i was not as much but getting there. anyways he asked me to go to his friend's place and i said ok. Arrived to said friend's place, my guy passed out and i kept drinking with the guys (most of them were in the rugby team) and then i dont know if i became much more wasted that i forgot everything or maybe he slipped me something (i doubt it tho ) but next thing i know i was having sex with my guy's friend in his car. And no I would have never considered doing it with him cause I think he was and still is ugly as fuck (nice body tho). Do I think he raped me? I dont think so. I dont know for sure.. IM sure he was drunk too.
It doesnt really matter anymore anyway. He acted smug as shit every time I would see him afterwards tho.

Now hes an "up and coming big shot" attorney in Washington DC. hah

No. 61473

If he fucked you without consent by definition, theorically is rape. You yourself say that you wouldn't ever considered doing it with him voluntarily. Still glad it didn't leave a horrible experience or anything lol, don't you remember if it hurted or if he cumed inside or anything? I'd be scared to death to wake up pregnant or with a vaginal tear or with a STD if that happened to me.

No. 61475

The thing is that I was so drunk I dont remember. Maybe I had a bad case of beer goggles and he started looking hot suddenly (tbh it wouldnt have been the first time that suddenly after some beers some guy started looking hot lol).

I dont remember if next day it hurt, maybe a little? (wouldnt be weird since it was my first time). I do remember him asking me if I was a virgin and me saying no lol

So yeah I cant say it was rape. And yeah luckily nothing bad came out of it except that his best friend (the guy i was hooking up with on and off) didnt want to anymore (dont blame him). Oh well!

No. 61523

This is my dream first time. I hope something like this will happen to me too

No. 61584

usually I really don't mind the way my first time happened but reading things like this make me a little wistful. I was 16, he was 25, I wasn't intending to sleep with him when I went over to his place but after fooling around for a bit he just put it in. I'd masturbated vaginally prior so it wasn't a new sensation, but the whole event it was really unremarkable. I've had much better sex since then, and I've roleplayed losing my virginity to my current (and probably last) boyfriend. But when I remember how it actually happened, it makes me sad in comparison. I wasn't in a good space when it happened, and I probably wouldn't have done it if I had been better mentally. I don't regret it exactly, nor do I regret having casual sex at all. I just wish there had been more real affection and love in my sex life. My current boyfriend is the 6th person I've slept with and the only one I've ever loved.

No. 61589

I guess, though I feel like I would be awkward enough to give it away without even saying it.

No. 61595

Its only as awkward as you let it be, linger on the awkward bits and its worse, ignore it and the guy won't dwell on it either. Familiarize yourself with penetration first so it won't be painful, toys aren't like mega expensive or anything. Pain probably gives it away more than anything.

I didn't want to be passive or think of it as something being done to me or happening to me which imo would have been unavoidable if he had known. By not telling him I could mentally frame the event as my being a more active participant and initiating my sexual life. It wasn't special or romantic or traumatic and tbh it blurs together with the sex I had with the guy after so it really doesn't stand out as a singular event. To me, that's fine, I was tired of being curious and waiting for life to happen and never thought the world owed me a special or romantic first time. If it was lackluster or even bad then I was in good company with the millions of women who came before me who also didn't have a magical first experience so it was an odd bit of solidarity.

I'm definitely NOT a sentimental person though and am not very romantic. Its fine to want a nice first time.

No. 61596

Haven't lost it yet at 21, have had chances before to lose it but it was never the right time or person.
Mostly now I fear getting pregnant and with the loom of losing birth control and abortion rights. I'd rather not have sex at all right now.

No. 61606

Idk if you want to hear this but there have been multiple studies done that frequent porn use makes women like sex less, have intimacy/arousal problems and higher incidences of BDD.
Porn super fucked me up as a teen and since I stopped looking at it I can FINALLY get into sex with my bf and not have to think about hentai to get off during it lmao

No. 61608

I slept with my best friend when I was 20 and we've been together for almost 10 years. I had the opportunity to sleep with boys and girls in high school and it was horrible being frustrated constantly but I was seriously grossed out at the idea of having sex with someone I didn't love. I'm not old fashioned by any means, I just need a lot of love I guess.
I'm really glad I didn't have sex with some rando, I was really close a couple of times but I know that I personally would have regretted it SO much. I just hate the idea that someone who didn't care about me would have intimate knowledge of me. lol idk.

No. 61613

That sounds ideal to me. People who say they feel sorry for someone who has stayed with their first are just jealous.

No. 61615

Lost mine to my first "real" boyfriend in high school. I was 17, he was 15 (his birthday was next day, but he didn't want to wait so whatever, I guess.) He didn't realize this somehow, but his dick is huge. The condoms we had didn't fit him. We had to go all the way back to the store for him to get some Magnums. It freaked me out a lot. Totally unenjoyable because I kept worrying about his size. It got better as our relationship went on, but we broke up after like, 8 months. Bittersweet since he was the guy my hormones went all crazy for, butterflies, the whole first love thing, but he was a prententious ass, so I'm glad that didn't last. He's a total bro in college now. His behaviour is disgusting.

No. 61633

age 17 w/ my high school boyfriend. he was fairly experienced but the sex was as awkward/bad as you would expect with 2 high schoolers. we've been together for 6 years. honestly, it took us a good 2 years to really get the hang of sex and now it's awesome.

No. 61765

He was a year older than me

No. 61795

I bet you're really ugly.

No. 61799

t. robot

No. 61801

Nah, t. pretty girl. ;^)

No. 61821

t. salty, ugly cunt

No. 61822

Not that anon but just because you're either regret giving up your virginity or you're a stupid r9k doesn't mean girls can't wait lose it for various reasons :)

No. 61823

Ugly insides will decay your outsides.

I know a lot of gorgeous girls who are virgins, either by choice or because they just aren't interested in sex and relationships.

Only kids in high school think virginity has anything to do with your attractiveness lmfao

No. 61825

I lost my virginity to a close gay (male) friend. I was stressing about still being a virgin to him (I was 19 which is really not that bad in hindsight) and finally he suggested that if I really wanted to just get it over with, I could sleep with him since I trust him and he was experienced – he'd had sex with girls for a while out of desperation before officially coming out (he thought if he did it enough he would learn to like it). I felt bad because I knew he wouldn't enjoy it much and even though he insisted "hey sex is sex amiright" I could tell he wasn't that into it. That being said I felt really comfortable with him and it definitely could've been worse. Helps that he has a really nice body and is pretty hot.

No. 61831

I lost my virginity when I was 18. It was on or around the day I graduated from high school. Nothing spectacular. I went to a small high school in the country, very slim pickings. Met a guy from the city that was ugly, but my friends thought he was super cool, which made me think he was cool too. He desperately wanted me to be his girlfriend, but I refused because I wasn't really attracted to him, and he was also embarrassingly ugly. In the end, though, I was a super horny, sexually frustrated teenager that just wanted to fuck. I was at his house and told him to go to the convenience store to get condoms. His dick was pretty average length but also skinny and super straight. Sex kind of hurt, but I mostly chalk that up to no lube + idiot bought dry, unlubed condoms. He was terrible at sex, despite claiming he fucked at least 5 other girls before me.
Continued fucking him on the low for a few months off and on thinking maybe the sex will get better somehow because he was still the only guy I fucked at this point, and I hadn't yet realized that he was just terrible at it. Started dating another guy that fucked way better and cut ties with old dude. I think back and wish I had a better, more memorable story, or at least fucked someone that was semi-attractive, but eh. Teenage hormones.

No. 61837

So many girls in here who want to just get their first time 'over with', I recommend at least doing it with someone you care about to some degree.

I've only slept with two past boyfriends but now I'm with a guy I'm very serious about long-term I really do wish I could have given him my first time.
Only positive is that I could enjoy sex straight away with him and losing virginity is awkward and painful.
I do wish I didn't share myself intimately with anyone else before though because it makes me feel gross.

No. 61840

pretty much same

No. 61841

I'm 21 and still virgin, not waiting for my white knight/pince it's just that I'm afraid as fuck. A friend told me it hurted till the 6th time and holy shit, does it hurt too much?

No. 61842

When I was 18 to some random guy I met on /soc/ or something. I wasn't planning on it, we went bowling and to his place to watch a movie and then he was like "well if you wanna get it over with" and I just did it. It was really lame and hurt a lot, he was fat and sweaty and neither of us came. It was a bit surreal for a while especially since I didn't hold contact with that guy afterwards.

Sex with an emotional bond is a lot nicer, though I find it kind of scary and intense sometimes. I think losing my virginity via emotional sex would have ruined me for life. Like I would become obsessed with my first guy and pine after him for the rest of my life, if that makes sense.

It's harder to find someone to care about who reciprocates than it is to find someone to get it over with. If you really wanna do the latter, find someone attractive.

No. 61843

Your friend might have had an imperforate hymen or vaginismus, hurting until the sixth time is very unusual. Honestly even the first time for most people doesn't hurt that badly, it's primarily uncomfortable with slight pain. Don't be too afraid. Or just use a dildo on yourself and see how it goes

No. 61854

I'm 27 and I have never ever, I'm too self conscious about my body and at this point I wouldn't mind cashing out for a male prostitute that would also give me a bf experience. r8

No. 61856

For me it didn't hurt at all, but I knew my body very well. I would recommend masturbating and exploring yourself a lot before having sex. Not only because you know what hurts and what doesn't, but you also know better what you like/dislike and you can easier set boundaries.

No. 61873

I remember feeling this way. Are you pining for sex or a relationship tho? Like, a prostitute might get you off but you can do that yourself.
I know you're probably just lonely and looking for a warm body, touch starvation is extremely detrimental to your mental health, but don't give up on having a healthy relationship.
Self consciousness/shame is a curse that pretty much all of us have.
Before my first time I thought I'd never be able to let anyone look at my body but you change your opinion about that when you sex them lmao. Now my boyfriend and I walk around in our underpants and don't even think about it.

No. 61887

>touch starvation
is it real?
I have the same stats but I don't care anymore, my libido hit rock bottom in the last year (and I used to be pretty horny).

No. 61892

Thanks for the answer. You see, I'm not sure if I actually want a bf, I would like to cuddle with someone and I would like to have sex to experience it and get it off my to do list. Imageboards have ironically ruined any ideals I had about men and romance so a male prostitute/escort would be perfect.

Unfortunately, I'm in southern europe and all the ads by men are usually young guys searching for a sugar daddy, even then the whole situation would be sketchy af.

> I know you're probably just lonely and looking for a warm body

Probably, though it's a 'craving' that I get from time to time so not often but enough to make me feel depressed. I would do anything for a session of cuddling for an hour or two but on average I dislike physical contact. I don't even crave sex that much.


> my libido hit rock bottom in the last year (and I used to be pretty horny).

I wish my libido hits rock bottom soon.

Do you desire a romantic relationship? So not a sexual one, just an intimate relationship with someone? Do you ever feel lonely?

I want to stop caring too. Sometimes I really wish for a romantic relationship but when I see some of the people I know, being alone seems like a better choice. Maybe what I fear is regret but regret for what really? Not finding a soul mate? Being all alone?

No. 61897

Hey i just googled this and its really a thing! The only real medical definition of touch deprivation is related to infants (who can apparently die if you don't cuddle them enough). Also called skin hunger.
Good to know though, because i never really crave human or social contact, but two weeks without being touched in any manner makes me feel like I'm dying.
Sage for ot

No. 61898

There are people you can buy cuddles from, that's a service

No. 61900

I only want to touch people when I'm drunk :^|
Sometimes I get into that mock-schizoid "lol what are relationships" mood but I do want one, I definitely fantasize about it more than I masturbate and I'm positive if I fell in love I would regain my libido, but it's prolly not happening any time soon. I also hate my body, but have no motivation to change.

No. 61901

I often worry about feeling childish/immature in a relationship because I feel like most guys my age have done it already and won't have the patience to wait for me to warm up to the idea. Admittedly, a lot of this worry comes from reading articles and forums where the guys are complaining girls lead them on for like 3 dates and still won't put out. It would take a hell of a lot more than three dates for me to feel comfortable because I have intimacy issues (hence why I'm still a virgin).

No. 61902

And when I say it could take a lot of time to warm up to someone, I mean I'm worried it could be months and the guy would get bored of waiting for me.

No. 61903


If all they want is sex, they aren't worth it in my opinion.

No. 61906

Yeah, that's true. I just feel like a lot of people consider it a pretty important part of the relationship package, you know?

No. 61922

Perhaps dating friends would be better than starting off with dates with strangers

No. 61929

I definitely feel you. I'm not a virgin but had a shitty first time experience that kind of ruined my confidence with it, plus I'm already emotionally stunted and untrustworthy of people, so to have sex with someone would take a really long time of building up not only to sex but also more intimate touches.

I personally haven't found anyone yet (though I also haven't been looking), but! I have male friends who have waited a long time for girls or have not held it against girls who weren't ready for sex. They do exist so don't stress!

No. 61934

It was terrible. I was 19, with a dude I had been seeing for a few weeks. I wanted to finally free myself from the v-card so I thought why not. It hurt like a bitch, even after foreplay and lube and fingering, I could barely stand it. In the end I blew him and he ate me and we never saw each other again. I got a boyfriend a few months later and while not hellish, it wasn't pleasurable at all. I almost thought I couldn't enjoy penetration or that I had vaginitis, even that I didn't actually like men sexually, but apparently I just have a tiny pussy that can only take smallish dicks, because I tried again a few months ago with a hook up and it went great. Sorry for blogging.

No. 61939

Mine was pretty nice. I was 19 (almost 20) and it was with a guy that I had been talking to on and off for about six months. It was in the summer and we had been talking and hanging out a lot. The nice thing about it all was that it happened gradually. About two weeks before we started holding hands and kissing, and then a week before we did some heavy making out/touching in my bed before actually doing the act a week later.

The actual act was fucking underwhelming. It didn't hurt at all (just a tad uncomfortable at first) but I was happy to get it over with.

Eventually we started dating and he became kind of an ass but I still don't regret anything. I actually saw him a few days ago for the first time in months and he apologized to me and we have a pretty stable friendship now which is great.

No. 61943


Same anon, if they love you and you're serious about each other. They'd be ready to wait till you're comfortable.
Relationships are built on trust. Sex is a part of a relationship but when you haven't done it, it's a big step. If someone doesn't understand why you aren't comfortable then it isn't worth it, they are disregarding your feelings. My old friend was pressured into losing her virginity when she was not comfortable with the old "But if you loved me… You'd do it.". She regrets giving in and her self esteem took a beating after he got what he wanted and cheated.

You are not wrong for wanting to feel comfortable or wanting to wait for someone you can trust. Better safe than sorry.

No. 61965

i lost mine when i was 15, to a long term bf at the time. i mean we were mad about each other but he was a shit fuck and it was so boring that i dont even remember the details. my first time with a girl on the other hand, fucking awesome, so that makes up for it.

also, >>61943 your advice is 100% perfect

No. 61994

I was extremely drunk and I don't even know whether he fingered me or just had a really small penis. Didn't feel like much anyway.
I literally don't even know whether I'm a virgin or not. I think I am because surely I would've felt his body against me if he actually fucked me?

It was many years ago though, haven't slept with anyone since that. Nor do I want to.

No. 62556

File: 1496999238948.png (1.42 MB, 1280x908, 1454263001022.png)

I was 18 and he was 20. We met on /r9k/ and dated for around 8 months before meeting at a con that he invited me to. The con was located in Wisconsin and I'm from the southwest so it was basically my first time experiencing snow(the night I arrived was the first day of snow actually). We met, awkwardly hugged, and I awkwardly kissed him on the cheek. After a few days of hanging out, visiting panels, making silly puns and sharing more awkward kisses I decided I wanted to lose it to him. I remember our bed having lots of pillows and blankets because it was really cold. The area where our room was had the woods right next to us and with it snowing made the whole thing kinda magical and very romantic. I don't think I'll ever forget how dumb/cute his face looked when we were making love and how we both fell asleep cuddling each other with the biggest smiles on our faces. Sry if it sounds sappy but it was all really beautiful and surreal to me because I never thought I'd be with someone, let alone someone as sweet as him

No. 62557


Reading that paid of despite your off-putting lack of paragraphs.

No. 62558

It is extremely interesting how the weather conditions feature prominently in the memories of those experiences of us three.

I don't know what to make of it.

No. 62559

I lost mine to my bf when I was drunk. Idr the weather I think it was slightly drizzling with a bit of an overcast. Definitely some winds too

No. 62568

Mine was bleak. I originally wanted to get it over with even with a stranger to begin my life of a confident seductress kek but then I got a boyfriend who seemed caring. It was important at the time that I had just turned 16 because I felt that made me mature, and he didn't pressure me even though I was already on the pill and he wasn't a virgin himself.
We planned for him to come over when our schools were closed and I put a dark towel down because anime/memoirs of a geisha. It bled and hurt so much that I kept crying, but I told him I was ok because I wanted my virginity 'gone'. The whole thing was so unsexy that he kept going soft so we had to keep starting again and to me it just felt like burning. Eventually he came and I was relieved that it was over, I nearly laughed when he asked if I wanted to try again to see if it would feel better for me. Aside from the pain, nothing felt different afterwards. I kept telling him I was ok while he kept apologizing and then I sent him home and went to my weekly after school class as if nothing had happened.
Sex kept hurting and bleeding for months ages afterwards, it wasn't until I was an adult that I would learn this was vaginismus and that sex with someone you like is totally different. The punchline was that he turned into an emotionally abusive monster that threatened me to stay with him for years. He also went on to become a rapist so I'm guilty these formative experiences possibly caused that.

Weather was sunny and mild.

No. 62817

>male "friend" stays over for movies and kfc
>was really my boyfriend
>gets blood on the sheet
>covers blood in kfc bbq sauce so mother doesn't question why my sheets going in the wash

romance isn't dead

No. 62953

I lost mine when I was seventeen to a boy I had been obsessed with for two years. He was a year older and was the Salutatorian of his class. I didn't know why I was attracted to him, but I was.
We had a friends w/ benefits relationship going on, but I was so naive at that point, I wasn't aware that's all we were. I had invited him over to look at some books, and we ended up watching a movie(500 Days of Summer, oh the irony). We talked a little and I kissed his ear, which, y'know, got him hype.
I lied to him and told him I was on the pill, because I was a horn dog. We got jiggy with it to some music on Spotify (I think Daft Punk was hip hoppin' at the time.) and it lasted for about an hour.
I remember bleeding for three days straight. I had just redecorated my room, too. I had new furniture and a new wall color. I got a little bit of blood on my new comforter and was freaking out. I went to my friend's house right afterwards, too embarrassed to look my mom in the face when she would get off work. He sent me a picture giving me a thumbs up later that night. We didn't end up together, and I was heartbroken and confused.
A little happy ending though: We have an odd friendship where we Skype every six months to just talk for hours upon hours. I'm kind of glad nothing happened, because now he's an annoying SJW and looks like a woman.

The weather was warm (It was June) and it was nighttime.

No. 69559

The jews have really won when you can find anonymous comments like this on a women's imageboard.

Sad day

No. 69561

i met him off r9k
i was 16, he was 20
said i was 18–we both knew that was a lie
We had hung out a couple times: made out, heavy petting, oral.
I was scared
I spent the night at his house during summer, after some foreplay he got ontop of me and said he was only going to tease
ended up inserting his penis
Afterwards i cried and punched him
good times

No. 69566

It took a long time for m to lose my virginity. I guess my hymen was tough or thick. Also my boyfriend had a horsecock, so it was not easy.

What was great about all this was that because of the fact that he couldn't get it in, we were crazy frustrated. So he went down on me all the time and we were constantly 69ing each other. I would sleep over at his place or he would sleep over mine and we were having oral sex nonstop, I remember we were on the bathroom floor trying once, we had taken a bath together thinking that would make it easier somehow, but of course it did NOT. It was cool - because of this experience, I expected oral sex from guys, and would get bitchy if they didn't go down on me. I like giving head and I expect to get it in return!

Gross but funny side story: my boyfriend worked at a convenience store with this guy who was also in a first relationship and they would sort of talk about stuff that had happened while trying to fuck, or stuff they were confused about like with birth control or whatever, you know. Anyhow, I picked him up from work and he was like omg we have to get out of here, I have to tell you something, it's so nasty but before we could get out his friend ran up and was like hey X, I need to ask you something. I was like oh dear but said sure, what and he said that every time he went down on his girlfriend it was like he was

eating cottage cheese

and wasn't that cool? I was on the verge of puking. My boyfriend said that my face went white. I was like, "No. No, that's not a good thing at all. She needs to see the doctor and you need to see a doctor. Stop going down on her." All I could think of was how bad his thrush infection must have been, and that it was thick enough that he felt like he was eating it. I could still puke and I remember this like it was yesterday. So fucking awful!


My parents had gone away for the weekend and at this point it was literally like months of trying, we had basically given up on it. We'd do a whole routine where we'd both get each other off and then sort of try to get it in for a while and it was funny because it felt noticeably different this time, either my hymen was stretched out enough or whatever, but I could feel him pushing and it finally broke. It was super raw feeling even though I was really excited, I never have to use lube because I'm just good at making my own but wow did the first time hurt like fuck, haha! It seriously felt like getting reamed out with a broom handle, and I bled a lot. There was enough hymen that we could see some tissue on the sheets. It was nuts. So we went back to oral but by the next morning we were fucking like rabbits, lol.

All that time we were trying, we never tried anal - luckily he wasn't into it. I honestly hate anal and I've only done it three times but every single time sucked.

No. 69572

I'm still a virgin at 23. It used to bother me when I was in high school and college because I felt like I wasn't normal or on the track I should have been to meet all of the 'coming of age' experiences. Now I can't really bring myself to give a shit.

I've developed a really fucked up idea of men/relationships/sex due to my parents relationship that has fallen apart in the past few years, and also from the one guy I almost dated who was basically the Red Pill personified. I try not to think this way but I don't ever want a man to touch me, especially since he probably would just lose all respect for me (which he probably didn't have very much of in the first place). I know that's a terrible way to think, but I can't help it. I REALLY want to go back to my teenage years when I was really optimistic and a hopeless romantic but I can't. My problem is that I don't think I'm one of those people who can go out and have a one night stand or just sleep with someone they sort of know and still feel okay afterwards. There's nothing wrong with that, I just feel like I know myself well enough to know that would make me feel like shit. I would only have sex with someone I really loved and I thought loved me, but I feel like men don't even LIKE women all that much to begin with so the chances of that happening feel like zero. In my fucked up head if I couldn't be with a man who actually liked me as a person and cared about me then i'd rather just be alone than be with some guy who hates women and just tolerates me so that he can have a steady supply of sex until he can find someone better who can give him the same thing. Not to mention I don't know many men who want to take some girls virginity at 23, so I feel like if i were about to lose it with somebody I couldn't make it known that I was a virgin since that would be a ~red flag~ that something is wrong with me and I'm not sure if I could pull that off or make some shit up convincingly.

I've kind of ruined sex+relationships for myself before I've ever even had them, but my main issue is that I can't bring myself to care about that or try to change it. I'm perfectly fine being alone/being a virgin forever and I hate that I'm like that because I know that isn't normal.

Idk. Oh well.

No. 69591

I lost it at 18 with an LDR bf I met online (also had my first kiss with him). It was really, really underwhelming – didn't feel even slightly meaningful or romantic, in retrospect he was HORRID at sex, and I kind of did it for the wrong reason… Really low self esteem at that point so even though I had doubts about it, I felt like if I didn't "rip off the bandaid" of losing my virginity at that moment, it'd never happen because no one else would want to touch me.

Tbh though, I don't count this much because I soon realized I'm a lesbian, so I still feel like a virgin since I haven't had sex with a woman.

No. 69613

The first time I lost my virginity was when I was sharing a hotel room with my mom and my boyfriend. (I was 16 at the time but now I'm 20)

We were in a long distance relationship, we met up after a few months and ended up staying at a hotel together for a few days.

He brought his laptop with him so we could watch movies together before we went to bed. So he put on Monsters Inc. and near the end of the movie we just started making out. It ended up to making out to more foreplay etc.

Please keep in mind my fucking mother was in the bed next to us sleeping. So he ended up putting another movie on to block the noise (Ratatouie, how romantic).

It was fine I guess. I was very excited for having my "first time" just because I used to long for it since i was the fat girl in school so I never even believed that this would happen to me.

But continuing, he used to boast a lot about his "big" package. Is it rude if I say this . . . It was a good 4". Not 8" like he said. I'm not saying this to be mean, like im not trying to judge him on his size, it's just the fact that he used to try and act like it's super big was so fucking dumb. He was horrid at oral, Christ. I actually thought he was just poking my clit with his finger but it was actually his tongue. I didn't even cum.

Overall, I was expecting something amazing. But I realized that first times, most of the times, end up like this.

No. 69614


(For the size of his package i was talking about inches, im not sure if I worded it as like feet or something with the ")

No. 69615

i lost it to my first love. i don't remember the event as much, i'm pretty sure there were a few attempts previous (we were both virgins and he was quite big). anyway he was having a house party and i got drunk and horny and we successfully achieved our goal. i remember afterwards tho. i went downstairs to get a drink and my mates were going out for a drunk dander. i just remember thinking i was a big girl now (i was 16, and a few girls on my sports team would talk about sex like it was no big deal but also a mark of maturity idk) and feeling euphoric. my mates and i were sing screaming to sum 41 and riding bikes into bushes. very mature

No. 69617

like i can't even recall if my boyfriend was even out with us. i don't remember sex with him at all and we were together a number of years, i don't think he ever made me cum with sex.

my current partner has absolutely no issue. sometimes it's a matter of me holding my cum so he can hah

No. 69620

' for feet, " for inches, you're good

No. 69627

I'm really sorry to all anons that regret their first time… And to all that haven't lost it yet - you really should wait for the right person. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin at 30 if you're still waiting for the one. It's a magical moment when you do it with someone you really care about and vice versa.

No. 69632

File: 1509114875174.png (136.5 KB, 303x262, 1408460074068.png)

I lost my virginity at 21 in a one-night stand with an ex, 4 years after we broke up.

It didn't hurt at all, except when I was on top.
Other than that, I barely felt anything, it was quite disappointing.

No. 69634

>I felt like if I didn't "rip off the bandaid" of losing my virginity at that moment, it'd never happen because no one else would want to touch me.

This is how I feel rn. 18 yr old kissless vigrin here lmao. Pretty much every girl I know has been having sex and whatever since we were about 14. My closest friend talks about sex so casually and shes the same age as me, lost at 13 (too young imo, but its complicated story) also sucks we are both into bdsm but I dont get any of that irl lol. I know its unhealthy to compare yourself to others but fuck… I dont know why this is happening for everyone but me. Im not disgusting looking and my personality is fine ig. What does everyone else have that I dont?

I want to get it over and done with asap. I dont care anymore I just feel like time is going by fast. (i know 18 is still very young) I dont want to date the person I lose it to, id rather it be some rando honestly. Then if I it started to date someone it wouldnt be something thats awkardly in the way. Ahh i feel like I need older/experienced anons to weigh in, i the way in feel seems to me so foolish/childish but i cant help it.

No. 69636

I was a depressed and socially awkward 17-year-old, and I had been online dating this guy who lived on the other side of the country. The first time he visited me he stayed 3 nights in a hotel, and the first evening he started crying to me about how it was pointless for him to come meet me if I wasn't gonna sleep with him. After listening to him guilt tripping me I decided that it was better to let him have his way with me than him leaving me, and so he tried to have sex with me, but I was so nervous it hurt like hell and he couldn't put his dick in me. He decided that it would be better to stick it up my ass, and so he took my butt-virginity and I shat all over the hotel bed and him. After that i found out that he had been lying about his age and was 10 years older than he claimed. I'm super glad I shat on him, but I feel super stupid because I stayed with him for 4 more years until I gained enough confidence to leave. I don't think virginity is anything special, but it still kind of sucks that my first times were so bad.

No. 69640

I'm 30 and a virgin. It doesn't affect my everyday life. I've never been in an awkward situation because of it. I'm not disappointed about not losing my virginity, but I am somewhat disappointed about not having met the right person earlier in life.

I didn't have my first kiss until 28, and I didn't hide it from my dates. I haven't dated a lot, but none of them minded, if that means anything to the younger anons who are worried. If my date did mind, it would've meant we weren't compatible, and I wouldn't have wanted to keep seeing them anyhow.

It helps that I have friends in the same virginity boat for various reasons: religious, finding the right person, being asexual, etc.

What I'd say to >>69634 is to do it for yourself. You don't have to wait for "the one" if that's not important to you. If you think you'd have fun and you feel safe and prepared, go for it. But doing it simply to fit in with your friends or validate your appearance/personality could lead to regrets. These are just my thoughts, but someone more experienced may have a different opinion.

I care too much about my first time to "get it over with." However, I did have a "get it over with" approach to my first kiss, because it wasn't as important to me. I did it for my own fun. It would've been nice if it went to someone I loved, but it was time for me.

Annoying psa, but use two forms of birth control if you're worried about pregnancy. You'll have a baby 1 out of 10 times with condoms alone, and 1 out of 2 times with withdrawal (with typical use). Researching it will make you feel a lot more confident in whatever your choice is.

No. 69644

I regret trying to wait so long for 'the one' because I still haven't met him and I am much older than you. Waiting for the 'right one' to lose it too lost me many years of sex, made sex/relationships super serious and forestalled my personal development. And it turned out to not be a big deal either, having sex didn't make me feel different but did allow me to meet new people, learn my likes/dislikes and take a more relaxed approach to dating because I no longer had that albatross around my neck that had previously made everything stressful and high stakes.

You don't have to tell the guy and it doesn't have to hurt so long as you experiment with yourself a head of time. Anon if I could go back in time I wish I'd just gotten it over with at 18.

No. 69645

Do you date people that are around the same age as you?

No. 69646

He was a nervous wreck and I don't think he was fully hard. Felt nothing and didn't know it was inside.

He didn't seem to know where the hole was and was still bad two years later. We're not together anymore.

No. 69648

I was a virgin until I was 20 years old. I had a falling out with my mother and took my leave from her home. I moved in with my now abusive ex and thought since I was already in a huge shit hole so I decided to have sex and get it over with. I didn't feel anything the first time. Later on, I tried anything to make myself feel something. I mean I did get excited when we did things I wanted but since the relationship later got rocky and he eventually beat the shit out of me, I've turned pretty much asexual at this point.

If I did it over again, I probably would've experimented more with my sexuality to figure out what I really wanted in a relationship. Sex is so important to me still, even if I don't actually fuck. It wasn't fair of me to lie to myself like that.

No. 69658

No. 69695

he was a charming popular boy at school. i was a pretty girl, but shy. i told him i wasn't a virgin because he wouldnt do anything with me otherwise.

we got high and had sex in his lexus outside of his 3 million dollar house. i was on my period so we had to put a towel down. afterword, he drove me back to my car. i remember him saying 'that's a lot of blood….' because he had had sex with girls on their periods before but it was obvioulsy my hymen breaking

i was hung up on him for like 3 years, he never wanted to date me but still wanted to fuck. later he got a girlfriend and cheated on her with me which i feel bad about but i would have done anything for attention from him.

No. 69709

I was twelve, it was the day after Christmas, I was hanging out at my best friend's place and we were talking about boys. We thought it would be a good idea to rehearse with each other before getting with any boys. I felt so ashamed after it happened I just ran

No. 69719

Hey anon. I'm in pretty much the same situation as you (another 18 year old kissless virgin). When I get those feelings of inadequacy, what helps me is knowing that I'm not alone. I'm not into bdsm, but in high school I was too shy to talk to guys and even befriend them, and it really tanked my self-confidence. I've only started making friends with guys over since I started going to college.

The weirdest part is that now that I talk to guys as friends, my anxiety about being a kissless virgin has almost completely gone away. If rationalizing it in your head doesn't help, maybe being in a new environment (like college) will help you deal with it better. I hope I helped you in some way despite the massive blogpost, lol.

No. 69722

Apologies for TL;DR, I got a bit carried away in remembrance. I had completely forgot any of this ever happened.

I lost my virginity at 18-19 (don't remember exact date) to an ugly Chinese incel I had been talking to online for the past 3 years. We had met through 4chan. I had finally agreed to meet with him in person because I was afraid that he would stop talking to me. He was my only friend, as I had been a NEET since age 16. Our 'relationship' was basically just an extended exercise in codependency and emotional abuse that had completely consumed my life. I felt as though losing him would have meant losing everything.

To set the stage: he had expressed many times before that he didn't find me attractive at all in conversations that typically ended up with me crying over the phone and him blowing up in fits of rage, shouting that I would never be 'hot like a porn star' and how fat and ugly and stupid and useless I was, et cetera. I already had awful hatred for my body and was terrified of someone seeing me naked, which was why I avoided any IRL relationships. But I was the only girl that understood him, after all – even though I wasn't quite fitting to his desires. He was addicted to porn and had lots of fetishes, most prominently for extreme gore and violence. He was socially retarded and had some form of bodily tics that would make him frequently do odd grimaces and hand movements along with clicking noises. He was also into self-harm and fantasised about shooting the people at his school who bullied him and the girls who scorned him. He was obsessed with the idea that because he was ugly, he could never lead a fulfilling life; incel shit ramped up to 11. He was also a stereotypical /b/tard. I could go on for ages, but this post is already too long.

So my first sexual experience involved him attempting to stick his dick in my petrified desert-dry vagina on the tile floor of his maid's bathroom, lit brightly by unforgiving fluorescent light. I had just got off a two-day train ride to get there, so I was sweaty and disgusting. He couldn't get it in, so he tried 'fingering' me, which involved him painfully smashing his fingers against my clitoris at what felt like speeds approaching the sound barrier. I desperately wanted it to be over and pretended to 'orgasm' after about a minute, which entailed gasping a lot and then popping my eyes open and smiling like an autistic deer. He was amazed at how quickly I 'came,' but lo and behold, I was still too dry for him to dick me. So he asked to 'finger' me again, and I breathily agreed as though I wasn't on the verge of embarrassed tears. This time he tried sticking his fingers in and thrusting rapidly. It was painful enough that I let out a little sob that he interpreted along with my strained face as enjoyment. After I 'came' again I managed to spit on my finger and stick it around my vagina. Now that I was 'wet,' he could proceed to fuck me. First he tried missionary, then doggy-style, and then he stopped because he was tired. I tried giving him an awkward handjob, then blew him, having absolutely no fucking clue what I was doing and wanting to die every time my teeth scraped on his dick, feeling terrible that I was disappointing him. He tried masturbating himself for a while and was unable to ejaculate. We moved into the living room and he picked me up and threw me into the closet and choked me, slapped me around some. I just kind of went with the flow and accepted it. That went on for a while. I don't remember the rest of the night in much detail, but at some point he managed to come as I had his dick in my mouth, and I swallowed it. It was all absolutely horrible.

And now I'm living with an even more abusive guy that I also met through 4chan, holy shit, what is wrong with me.

No. 69725

I'm really sorry for what happened to you and holy fuck get out of the current abusive relationship, please but I like your style of writing and describing characters. I think you should write a book.

No. 69729

girl if you could put up with what that first guy did, i don't know how you don't feel like you can meet nice people around your area. you sound independent and self aware. if a incel chinese guy can throw you around, you'd have no problem being cared for by a normal guy.

i'm not sure what your esteem issues are, but seriously there are so many normal guys just looking for a connection too who won't be abusive and will treat you like a princess. heck, my boyfriend is hot af and i get insecure over some of his past dates who are girls that are much bigger than me. honestly i don't think most guys care about our bodies in the way that we do.

please love yourself, i feel like you deserve it and you seem pretty headstrong. i think you could turn out to be a bomb ass bitch (in a nice way lol)

No. 69732

In some ways I regret the way I lost mine, but mostly not really. whats the Point. I was 23 and deeply embarrassed by my virginity. never had any male interest and then suddenly someone in my class was into me. Only I'd been really giving the impression I wasn't a virgin in drunken group situations, I wanted him but couldn't admit my sheer inexperience.
Fast forward a few months, college had ended for the year, I went back to my parents. He didn't make it into second year so I didn't think I'd see him again. I was in a hotel, and I'd previously toyed with the idea of just getting my virginity out the way. I can't remember my thought process but for my socially retarded inexperienced ass it was terrifying. I made a craigslist advert, put a few pictures and explained what I was after. I then sifted through the responses for the most normal sounding ones who sent pictures. I think you can get something of an idea about someone from what they tell you, then checking out their facebook. Turns out he used to be flatmates with someone I knew back home.
So we agree to meet in the hotel room. I go have a few drinks in a bar over the road. Then I see him outside but didn't really recognise him. He was wearing glasses and his picture must have been old, but that's what we do online I guess. He was still normal looking. I think we went for a few drinks somewhere but I barely remember it now. We then went back and watched the inbetweeners in my room, I went out for a smoke to calm the nerves and it was getting a bit awkward so just said to get on with it. The actual thing was painful I guess> but not as much as I thought. He'd brought lube and went down on me for ages which tbh didn't feel like much to me, I think because my mind was so preoccupied. He was nice enough. I now see him posting his own ads on craigslist constantly which is funny. I sort of tried to initiate more regular meets to him but I think he got the impression I'd fucking imprinted on him or something. Like, no thanks m8. You're all over craigslist and a bit weird for me. Just wanted to get more experience. Met him sometime later though and that was pretty shit, I know its a one night stand thing but most people like cuddling and aren't so cold about everything.
he also gave me chlamydia.

Don't regret, but wish I could have waited as I'm not in quite a happy relationship.

No. 69733

also absolutely destroyed the nice white hotel sheets with blood. looked so dramatic. I'm lucky they didn't charge me but hotel workers must see the worst shit constantly tbf

No. 69736

If it's not not too OT/annoying, can someone give me advice about losing my virginity to an incel type guy (average looks, but has shitty cynical personality that drives away girls he so desperately wants to hook up with).

And if you're wondering what's wrong with me to consider this, I just want to experience what most people my age are. My emotionally immature ass was diagnosed with GAD awhile ago and because of trauma in my youth I've probably always had this, which over time has lead me to have only a few 'BFF' type friends.

So take this guys offer or not?

He's somehow popular so no I wouldn't get judged for it and I'm bang on the legal age to have sex in my country.

No. 69740

pls love yourself, anon

No. 69741

>tfw never fell for the "asians are hot" meme

Reading a lot of stories about Asian dudes on /g/, /ot/ and reddit makes me think I dodged a bullet tbh.

No. 69742

>>And now I'm living with an even more abusive guy that I also met through 4chan, holy shit, what is wrong with me.

Please love yourself anon. No one deserves to be in an abusive relationship, much less multiple abusive relationships.

No. 69743

I lost my virginity to my first boyfriend from China.

He came to my house when my family was gone to celebrate his birthday. Before going out, we ended up having sex. It was embarrassing for me even though I initiated it, but he was a good boyfriend. I ended up freaking out about the possibility of getting pregnant and had him bury a pregnancy test in the front yard so I could secretly test. I ended up crying at school too because I was scared of pregnancy and my family found out what happened.

Luckily, everything ended up Ok. I went on the pill and we dated for 3 years. We got in contact again last year after having met almost 10 years ago. Unfortunately, even though I still think he's a great guy, I no longer want to stay in the country and am attempting to move abroad (already moved abroad, but attempting to move abroad from this country to a different country).

Most of the guys I've dated have been from China. Generally positive experiences, although none of them were from the internet. Since this is about losing virginity I won't go into relationships, but yeah, if I could go back in time I would have waited until marriage.

No. 69744

I really hope you're not that child-of-diplomats anon who has to bring up her Chinese and Nigerian boyfriends and white knight for the former in just about every thread. Because I must have seen you do this on at least five occasions so far.

No. 69746

Hey anon, I think you are getting two of us confused. My parents aren't diplomats, but I'm definitely the Chinese and Nigerian "white knight" anon.

Sorry, I really don't mean to white knight. I see how it coms off that way, so yeah, I'm sorry if it's annoyed you seeing my posts. I only mention my good experiences because I literally only ever hear shit about guys from these countries (ex. Chinese guys are abusive and autistic cheaters, Nigerian guys are abusive scammers who only want a green card).

Even irl I've seen the difference in how they are treated vs me (white American). Guys from these countries have had a large influence on my life, so I guess I get a bit white knightish when I constantly hear shit about them (I totally believe there are assholes and have met assholes from these countries. I just think that's mainly what people hear about).

No. 69761

You sound like someone from one of those Asian grievance subreddits. R/asianmasculinity or whatever it is.

No. 69763

Wouldn't surprise me, they were all over /ot/ some time ago.

No. 69786

Yeah, I'm working on it. Turns out he's also a hellbent communist (I only went on one date) and really, I don't know what I was thinking. It's nice to read this thread where people are open about experiences good or bad and there's no pressure.

No. 69807

holy shit that last part about hentai is me right now

are you serious? i have to stop getting off to hentai if i want better sex

this is fucking cruel and i hate it. why cant i just be a guy and have sex feel good 100% of the time with no effort

No. 69838

>why cant i just be a guy and have sex feel good 100% of the time with no effort
Have you never heard of the death grip

No. 69840

you mean when a dude masturbates a certain way and has trouble getting off during real sex?
yeah, sure, but guys still have it fuckin easier. ive only ever gotten off via clitoris (the best and frankly only way to do it) but its real difficult trying to get your hand down there jerking around, depending on the position. it just messes with the flow of things and then i get too in my head and it takes ages to get off ETC ETC ETC

whereas the guy just has to stop jacking off for awhile, then dick in vagina, WOO HOO THERE YOU GO!

Its bullshit. I dont like being on top because im a lazy cow but thats one of the only decent positions for clitoral simulation unless you do some weird on your side shit, but im too attached to positions where i can see my guys face and mess up his hair and stuff.

at this point i dont know if i even want orgasms during sex. its easier to do it alone in your own time exactly how you like it, without someone waiting for you to finish

No. 69846

Lmao what the fuck are you even doing on this website? Go be well-adjusted and normal somewhere else.

No. 69859

Haven't lost it yet, turning 20 next month.

Circumstances make it difficult. Being the only lesbian in my town, save for a few Butch girls (I'm into femmes), it's tough. Slavic towns aren't really LGBT hubs, as you can imagine.

Plus I've been on very heavy medication since before I hit puberty, so I never had a proper sexual awakening. The top side effect of all my meds is loss of libido.

Idk. It's not a concern since I'm basically asexual. I can't wait to get a GF to kiss and cuddle though!

No. 69904

Hey, thanks anon. Im not really shy around boys, I have male friends but they have 'come onto me' before and I never know how to react, I honestly feel like if I wasnt so picky/uptight I could of lost it ages ago but the same could be said for anyone ig…


Isnt it from the virgin suicides film?

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