[ Rules ] [ ot / g / m ] [ pt / snow / w ] [ meta ] [ Discord ]

/g/ - girl talk

Name
Email
Subject
Comment
File
Youtube
Password (For post deletion)

Townhall is scheduled for May 22nd, GMT 2PM.

File: 1495141535355.png (2.24 MB, 1242x2208, IMG_0179.PNG)

No. 60919

Is close female friendship even possible?ive always wanted a best friend but if always seems girls are super close with each other for a little while then they end up hating each other out of nowhere. Is it even worth trying to find friends?

No. 60920

I have two best friends I've known since kindergarten. It is possible

No. 60921

>>60919
Might want to crop your profile picture out next time…

No. 60922

>>60921
Damn I posted the wrong photo. Hopefully the mods will remove it for me.

No. 60923

>>60920
But would it even be worth trying to make friends at my age?(26) even at work it seems all the work "friends" are just trying to plot against each other to get brownie points from the boss.

No. 60934

>>60923

I mean it probably would be, don't you get bored sometimes?

No. 60943

Yeah I'm totally with you OP, I can't seem to be able to keep any female friends.

I had a best friend for a few years when I was a kid. We were like sisters and did absolutely everything together. She dropped me once something better came along. I think I sabotage all my relationships now because I expect them to be as good as that one, I think I'm always going to long for that kind of close friendship again.

Then when I was a teen I was bullied but I rationalised it because I thought it was better than being alone. I went to a girls' school and it was just a whole mess of bitchiness (I think that's the true nature of girls, they revert back to that catty personality when there are no guys around to be on their best behaviour for). Every day was like something from an OTT teen drama, girls starting vicious feuds with each other over petty stuff purely out of boredom, they just can't have nice things. Girls would pretend to be friendly with me and talk about me the minute my back was turned, it fucked me up a lot. Then throughout college I never made any proper friends. Just "that person I go to the library with sometimes" or people who only want me as a companion when they go out clubbing.

The only good, long lasting friendship I've ever had was with my boyfriend but I still crave a female friend. Many of my friends stopped talking to me after I started going out with him out of sheer jealousy. I get really jealous myself when I see him interacting with his friends and having the kind of normal relationship I'd love to have with a girl (they have sleepovers, make inside jokes, go on nights out together, have DMCs…) but just isn't possible for us. He invites me to hang out with them regularly but it kind of makes me feel like Suzy lol.

I'm going to start working soon and I really fear being lonely because I never made any friends in school or college. I'm afraid I might only have my boyfriend as a friend for the rest of my life and never have someone to do girly things with me.

No. 60946

I've gone through 'stages' of having mostly male friends and mostly female friends. From what I've personally seen and heard from other women, this is some of the defining factors in how easy is for you to make other female friends -

1) If you're bisexual or a lesbian, straight women might judge you and think you're just trying to get in their pants.

2) Gender nonconformity - I don't mean like just wearing men's clothes or having short hair (that too, though, I guess) but not shaving or not wearing makeup can make women who do feel…threatened or othered. It's weird but common.

3) Interests and career. If either are male dominant and typically 'masculine', you might have a harder time making female friends through them. That one is a given, though.

4) Your demeanor and personality. If you seem judgemental, cold, closed off, or plain rude, it's going to be much harder to make friends (of any gender, but particularly women, since men usually let that kind of stuff slide). Also, avoid being 'brutally honest', it makes you seem like an asshole to everyone, not just women - I had a friend with that problem and writing this made me think of her lol.

No. 60947

it's possible. just dont be friends with blacks because they always start shit. i mean, look at the hair thread here lmao

No. 60948

>>60947
I always found that white women are way cattier and ready to start fights, but I think that's because I come from a relatively white-dominated town and most of the non-white people, particularly the women, are just trying to keep their heads down. I really think it depends on the culture in the area one lives in.

No. 60949

I wonder why girls are like this? Like, if there's a psychological reasoning behind it.

No. 60950

>>60949
Jealousy, competition, entitlement.
Lots of girls want to believe they're superior to other girls.

No. 60951

>>60947

As if every thread on this website doesn't dissolve into catty bitching at some point.

>>60949

Well I have a few theories but they're all borderline /pol/ memes.

No. 60952

I haven't had a best friend since middle school b/c we went to different high schools

Though I acknowledge that so far in life my criteria for best friends is that they adore me enough to cater to me most of the time
no wonder all of my past best friends came out as bisexual

No. 60953

>>60947

I find white women to be petty and cattier than black women, but to each their own experience.

>>60950
>>60949

"I'm not like other girls~" is a real mindset.

No. 60961

>>60946
Oh man that last one. That's my biggest issue. I'm just not as bubbly as other girls so people get it wrong or I just can't keep up with them.


The only friend I have is my bf at the moment. Sucks but I got used to it. It's possible to make new friends, even if you're older, you just have to find someone to click with but also be willing to put yourself out there.

No. 60967


No. 60968

Me and best friend have been friends since 6th grade. The only time we've had a fight is when we were 14 and had a crush on the same guy and it lasted like… 2 weeks. Looking back it's hilarious.

No. 60969

I've had pretty bad luck with female friends. I have had 4 close ones that I've lost because of
>me being a shady bitch
>friend being a shady bitch
>just drifting apart
>friend becoming obsessive over me

The first three were high school friends, while the last was an online friendship. Atm I have one girl friend and we get along well, but the rest of my pals are guys, even online. Doesn't help that my major is in a male dominated subject.

I remember wanting a best friend badly before but now it's just kind of meh. I have a hard time holding conversations online so it would be difficult maintaining a close friendship outside of irl with most people tbh

No. 60972

>>60969
How do you get along with your male friends? I find out it's harder to make emotional bonds with them and they get attracted to you or there's just general awkwardness. It's hard tbh

No. 60992

>>60972
Well, I guess I abandon ship if the guy starts acting weird and treating me a certain way for being female or thinks Im flirting with him. I get on with my guy friends because theyre easygoing and not socially retarded.

Its hard to form stronger bonds with people irl in general though if theyre young, like I only have 2 close guy friends I can have in depth conversations with and I met them both on tumblr in high school many years ago so we stuck lol. It helps if you can tell the person is openminded and wants to talk about serious things more than joking wll the time

No. 60993

Pathetic storytime incoming:
I haven't had actual friends since maybe middle school. I've lived in a relatively provincial town for the majority of my life and it wasn't until I started getting older that I noticed that the majority of the people I hung out with, I only did so out of convinience. It sounds fucking awful and I feel awful saying it but I could never really find myself bonding with anyone. It always felt like a chore. After a while, I got sick of forcing myself to make due with who was around me and stopped texting everyone, deleted all of my social media, and kind of vanished without really vanishing if you get what I'm trying to say. Now I'm sort of just floating in a void of loneliness with no one else to blame but myself. I don't even know how to talk to people anymore. I probably sound like an enormous jackass.

No. 60994

I think it's definitely possible. It's just hard finding someone you can get close enough to to be extremely comfortable with.

I've had a few of them over the years and from what I've noticed the best ones happen organically. You really can't force a friendship. So if you find a girl you find super cool/nice/friendly and you find it just impossible to hang out or befriend her? Drop it. It's not worth the effort and it most likely won't amount to anything.

Just see what girls tend to gravitate towards you, in your classes, in your social circles, etc. and invite them out for coffee or to hang out or whatever. Just be yourself and see what happens. Sometimes it ends up not working out but sometimes you end up with a great friend.

My closest friend is someone I met in middle school and we are still best friends even though we haven't lived near each other in over 12 years or so. We try to meet up twice a year and chat every so often. It's comfortable because we know we care about each other but don't feel obligated to chat every day and stuff. And when we meet up we just go back to being best friends with no awkwardness.

I have another friend who I got extremely close to in uni. She was a bit of a mixed bag. Personality wise we completely clash and that worked irl because she forced me to go out and be social and I taught her how to stay home and veg out/chill. Downside is that she needs constant attention and acts like a jealous gf whenever I don't message her every day or don't respond right away. It's caused a lot of tension when I moved because I've gotten busy and she keeps sending passive aggressive messages about how "I don't care anymore". It's extremely annoying and has caused me to go petty and not reply at all, lul.

Mixed bag, as I said, lul.

No. 60995

>>60953
>I find white women to be cattier than black women
Girl please. Us black folk are just as bad if not worse. You don't have to lie just cus you hate white girls.

No. 60997

My very best friend in the world is a girl, she is a year older than me and we've been friends since we were 14/15 which is about 14 years soon. She had a baby two years ago, and I'm her babys godmother + I'm gonna be her maid of honor next year. We have literally never been in a fight, and we talk every day. We are also very different ladies. It's possible, but you have to respect each others differences, and be willing to support each other even when you might disagree.

No. 60998

>>60995
Nah but they really are pettier and more passive aggressive. Black women will "drag" you but I notice they don't make fun of your fat, say you look old, or tell you to kill yourself. Long story short they aren't as neurotic and don't take it as far, imo

No. 60999

>>60998
Hahah yeah, I feel like us white girls are more psychopathic when we're in bitchmode. "Hang yourself" was often the go to meme in middleschool.

No. 61010

I'm shit at making friends in general but especially bad with making female friends. The last female friends I had were in college. One just stopped being interested and I'm not sure why except that we ended up in different cities. The other decided to sow her wild seeds, which is fine, but she was a cunt about it and hurt a lot of people's feelings and basically pressed me to always lie for her and give her ass pats and tell her she was never wrong which I didn't want to do, and eventually I cut her out because she wouldn't stop.


Now I work in a male dominated field which doesn't help any. I have some hobbies, but I just find it so hard to make friends when it's not a work/school situation and you see each other everyday until something organic grows from it.

No. 61011

I've had a few female friends over the years, irl and online but the majority of them kind of went distant when they tried to social climb and made fun of me to seem cooler. Then when no one was around were all nice again.

No. 61018

File: 1495235402748.jpg (20.3 KB, 630x400, -.jpg)

Yes, it's possible, but only with effort to maintain a healthy friendship.

What you (OP) are seeing in these other girls' relationships is not healthy. Short, in-your-face friendships tend to mean that one or both girls are using each other for something: status, money, connections, etc. It's either a one-sided friendship or completely fake. This sort of thing has been normalized though so I can see how you'd think it's typical.

As far as 'hating each other out of nowhere' goes, there's always a reason. Chances are they don't wanna talk about it or they're childish, petty people who probably can't maintain a healthy romantic relationship either. Stay far away from them.

The problem with girl friendships is that most are short-lived. You have to maintain the relationship. Reply to those texts. Don't cancel plans b/c you feel lazy. Be a considerate friend. Ignoring those simple things leads to one person fading out of the friendship. That's why they're short-lived.

That wall-of-text said, yes, it's worth it. Good luck finding someone you click with, I'm still looking too.

No. 61019

>>60995

GIRL I am not lying. Hand to god, the drama just makes itself with them. (That said, I don't hate white girls. Just those who make the fake whiny voices to talk.)

>>60999

Damn, really?

The coldest insult I ever got in school (from an -asian- girl) : "You're just thin cause your parents are poor, not 'cause you work out." IN GYM. Yes, I've carried that L for years.

>>61018

This was a nice post. I agree with it.

No. 61020

>>61019
Haha oh yeah, the queen bee in my grade once called my fucking landline, asked my mom to talk to me, and proceeded to ask me to hang myself "do everyone a favor".

But that insult she gave you about poor parents was rough, she was cold, dude. Brutal.

No. 61030

>>61011
This. This is why it's not possible for women to be friends.

No. 61042

>>61019
Okay yeah, you right. Come to think of it our roasts are typically in good humor anyways. I think it's more or less that white girls are often fucking crazy and we're too busy dealing with people hating us for our skin to stoop to their level of weird mind games. I gotta worry about being shot, I don't give a fuck about no Becky or Anna's thigh cellulite.

No. 61043

My best friend is a straight male, but I've had a few close friends too (we grew apart because I moved and I'm shitty at maintaining contact afar). My best friend is the only person I've really been able to continue contact long distance. I definitely think it's possible to have close female friends, although I don't have any at the moment (moving soon so not really socializing on purpose).

No. 61075

I think it's possible…I met my best friend in 5th grade and we've been best friends for almost twelve years now, she's literally my everything lol. we're essentially the same person, so maybe just clone yourself. all jokes aside, I think it's worth it, trying to find friends. I kinda gave up now that I have her though, and I'm not very good at talking to people or being social, but if you really want friends, you should try. start with women who are interested in the same thing you are, I guess.

No. 61109

>>61030
Bullshit. It is entirely possible for women to be friends and men do the exact same thing with social climbing - people, regardless of gender, are fake and use other people. Male/male and female/female relationships really aren't that different in reality.

No. 61113

>>61109
Oh I definately agree that men do it also but much less frequently. Every female friend I've ever had left me for someone more popular or of a higher "status" but a man has never done that to me. Generally when you befriend a man, you befriend them for life (although you need to be in a relationship for that to happen).

No. 61125

>always seems girls are super close with each other for a little while then they end up hating each other out of nowhere

The only time I've seen this happen is when two girls meet and find like 2 or 3 things in common and go "OMG BESTIES!!" and then start spending all their time together, suddenly moving in with each other or something crazy like that, and basically moving the relationship too fast for sustainability.

>>61018 is right. i think people tend to view friendships and romantic relationships differently, but I think you should treat them mostly the same, as in you have to be considerate of the other person and put in the time and effort to make them a part of your life.

No. 61138

All through high school (UK high school so 6 years) I had the same best friend, we met on the first day of school and we were inseparable until the final year when she dropped me and started claiming I was an awful friend and always had been. It put me off having female friends for a long time.

When I was about 21 (I'm 25 now), I hadn't had a single friendship since leaving high school at 18 because that friendship falling apart had hurt so much, I met a girl online and we slowly became friends, she's now the best friend I've ever had and made me realize how awful that friendship in high school was, how friendship should be.

Basically, don't be put off by a bad experience or two, I now have a couple of close female friends and all it takes is finding people with similar interests.

No. 61148

There are different types of girls' friendship. I'm gonna blogpost now, if anyone is interested in the dynamics based on some random anon's experiences.

I used to have a very close BFF friend - we were, like, exclusive to each other, and were jealous about other friends. Super close friendship, same interests, quirks, type of mindset. Then we parted schools and gradually fell out of friendship - I guess with the different environment we were changing/maturing differently, and it was so painfully obvious we lost our precious alikeness when we hung out. Seemed like she were getting annoyed with me, and she did something that wasn't exactly malicious but left a very bad taste in my mouth… we didn't argue, just said our goodbyes and… never talked ever again. Because I was hurt, I didn't want to be the first one to speak up, and now it's been 3 years lol. I still miss her sometimes, but I believe it's more like longing for that kind of close girlXgirl relationship.

In high school, I've had a friend who I /tolerated/. We just paired up not be alone during breaks and to have someone to sit with/exercise with on PE. Like I enjoyed her company at school, but on the long term she was insufferable and we would hang out IRL like once every few months, and it was me who avoided it by all cost. Simply because I couldn't stand her, she was super exhausting, I won't go in details. After graduation we met up and had a talk about us. She asked if I think we were friends; I said yes. She replied that for her, we weren't. Because we were parting ways, we had a very honest talk, like I've never had with anyone before; she asked for the hardest truth and I delivered.
Now, after two years, we sometimes talk online.

I have a female friend who's not my BFF nor a shallow friend. She moved when we were kids and then we randomly talked years after and found out we were on the same wavelenght. Both in new places, both with no friends, misunderstood. We would meet up for summers and have those manic pixie dream adventures recalling which keeps me going sometimes, tbh. Our bond was almost spiritual, and it kind of still is, even though we meet up less and usually with other friends/significant others. We can stop talking for months, and then call each other and shit's still cool. Whatever happens, we are each other 'primary humans', no matter how much time passes. But on the other hand, we don't have this typical girlXgirl friendship with confessions and pouring your soul out. It's weird, because it's such a close bond, but also it's very lacking in important places.

So, I guess girls start to hate on each other in case of #2 - when they form shallow friendships for various reasons. Sometimes they will try to pursue it, act ~BeStiEsSs~ over the top and then bam, drama, because they can't stand each other. I'm sure I would end up like this with friend #2 if I went along with her pursues.

No. 61151

File: 1495319846420.jpg (153.5 KB, 800x530, 7611245180_c3bf3241bc_b1.jpg)

Mini blogpost.

I used to have two best friends in high school, very close. We stopped talking after I moved despite me attempting to visit all the time, they just gave up I think.. idk. 3 years down the drain.

After I moved I only made one female friend who was way younger than me, and we ended up having a falling out after she sent underage pictures to my not yet bf(she knew I liked him and was going to ask him out). So this left a sour feeling towards making female friends.
Every time I came across a girl who I /think/ I'd get along with great (same interest in hobbies and music) they end up somehow trying to fuck my boyfriend.

I haven't had a female friend in 5 years and it's a real drag when you see other people on facebook or others you follow out having fun and going to cons too. I did make best friends with a guy on 4chan of all places and he's a real great friend but.. it's very lonely having no one irl to hang with. I'm getting to the point in my life where I'm just going to giving up trying to socialize to make friends, and be content with just my animals, my hobbies, online and my partner.

No. 61159

>>61151
Find an ugly girl who's already married or in a long term relationship. Problem solved.

No. 61169

File: 1495335042094.jpg (26.14 KB, 736x414, ca0a08da845f8064360fbcf5318810…)

>>61159
One girl was in a long term relationship and still tried to get with him.

Finding a female friend at all is hard, let alone a lesbian one who definitely wouldn't go after him.

No. 61199

>>61151
Aww anon I'd love to be friends with you. You sound down to earth and I'm sorry to hear about your shitty female friends. Are you sure you weren't just being paranoid though? The worst my female friends have done is comment that my boyfriends are ugly, which I guess I should take as a positive (I don't have any female friends irl right now either due to my own fault).

No. 61201

>>61125
>>The only time I've seen this happen is when two girls meet and find like 2 or 3 things in common and go "OMG BESTIES!!"

I've had girls try to suddenly become my bff after literally just meeting 1 minute prior, which makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Once a girl wanted to make "friends" with me, and when I didn't act crazy and OMFG with her, she turned to the girl next to her and she reciprocated. They literally started calling each other "besties" within a few minutes. I mean, I've hit it off with the people I knew would be my best friends after probably a few hours or 1 day hanging out/chatting together, but I don't understand how some people seem so enthusiastic about meeting other human beings lol

These relationships seem incredibly superficial and forced to me, but maybe I'm wrong. Do any other anons have experience with this?

No. 61207

>>61151
>Every time I came across a girl…they end up somehow trying to fuck my boyfriend.

no offense, but if this really happens all the time, your boyfriend probably encourages it…

No. 61209

Good this thread is on top since I literally came to /g/ to vent about this. I've never had female friends in my adult years. I'm depressed because "go hang out with ~my girl gang~ to chat and have a drink" seems like an unnatainable goal to me. I feel like I have nothing to look forward in life because I do have financial stability which is what my family always wanted for me, but I'm so alone. The only people I manage to attract is creepy guys who want to fuck me (not that I'm pretty or hot but guys always want to fuck everything), then whine about ""friendzone"" bs because I've lost all my sex drive since I was like 18 and all I want is friendship. I tend to be wary of guys beause of this. I don't know what to do, it seems like dating sites and apps are very popular yet maybe I'm not that internet savvy but I find nothing to meet friends. Even in the sites that are supposedly friendship-oriented (or have the option for that) I only get messages of men who are over 20 years older than me who end up revealing they want romantic or sexual involvement. I don't know what to do and the more desperate I get, the less chances I get to befriend girls because I sound so desperate and weird.

No. 61210

>>60919
normie stacies are impossible to have a real close friendship with imo.

but i have a lot of very close female friends who are straight-talking and basically good people at heart. i've tried to be friends with bitchy stacies but it never worked out - i thought girls were shit and hopeless during this time, too. is this your experience?

i think if you really want to have close female friends, you sometimes have to look for friends outside of people you'd usually be attracted to talk to - because chances are they're used to being befriended and don't have to work hard/don't know how to be a good friend because it comes too easily.

my perspective idk if it helps

No. 61211

I always only really had female friends now that I think about it. The very few male relatives I have are assholes at best and I was bullied at school only by boys because of some health issue I had, so I've always been wary of guys in general, although I'm getting more and more comfortable talking to men. Not because I dislike men but because I've always been scared of them. I guess the specific women I'm friends with are more trust-worthy and relatable than the average guy to me.

But the truth is, I'm pretty shy and socially awkward so having new friends to begin with is pretty hard for me. Though the only times I've had "problems" were:
>with my best friend from primary school and middle school who became more and more of a rich spoiled brat and would talk shit behind my back because I was very obviously not as rich as pretty much everyone at school (went to a private school because I had such good grades most of the tuition wasn't paid by my parents) and other reasons I won't talk about because it could derail the thread. I stopped talking to her or pretty much anyone else at school so I felt really lonely but it was still much better than being surrounded by assholes
>my best friend from high school, I secretly had a crush on her and because of that I don't dare talk to her anymore, even though she's really nice and sweet. We both have different groups of friends we hang out with now and she was abroad for a year so it's all happening pretty naturally anyway.

No. 61218

>>61209
I'm in the same boat anon. I don't want even want any male friends but I still try in case I end up meeting some of their female friends and hit it off, but that never happens because guys are creepy.
I've tried reconnecting with high school friends but it's… eh. Nah. I don't really know what to do.

No. 61221

So to any of the anons insisting that they have female friends and that it's easy to keep them…

How do you find friends who aren't jealous of your boyfriend and constantly encourage you to dump him? Or who aren't using you to climb the social ladder and will later mock you? Or who will be your friend beyond the initial drunken "Omg why haven't I ever spoken to you before? You're sooooo cool. We should totally meet up some time!" (which ofc never transpires). Or who don't talk to you for other superficial reasons?

Do such women exist or do you just put up with that bullshit because you value it over being alone?

No. 61224

>>61221
My core group of female friends are from HS, and we meet up for dinner and drinks sometimes, and mostly just keep in touch via FB chat. We were all awkward nerds in HS (most of them are lowkey fujos) so we were never interested in social climbing, nor were we all very confident in getting men, much less having boyfriends to steal from each other. Now we're all living different enough lives that none of that stuff matters anyway. But we enjoy each other's company sometimes and keep in touch and hang out when we can. We don't have intimate, "soul searching" talks and I wouldn't expect any of them to donate me a kidney, but I'm a bit of a recluse anyway and emotional stuff doesn't rest well with me.

The 1 female friend I made since graduating HS is an online friend. And we're both taken and have different tastes in guys anyway.

I guess if you keep trying to find friends who are very very similar to you already you stand the chance of weird jealousy and power moves, idk, but of all my friends we have enough in common to be friends but some key differences that jealousy and power moves don't even factor in. Idk if this makes sense

No. 61228

>>61221

>jealous of boyfriend

you make time enough for your friends instead of just being with your boyfriend 24/7, and don't blow off plans just to hang with your boyfriend. if they're arsey after that then you talk to them like people and ask them what their problem is?

>climb social ladder

says more about them if they do that, and sooner or later they get kicked out of the in crowd because of their attitude.

>beyond drunken thing

you follow up with them. if it doesn't go through spend more time with them through mutuals until they feel comfortable enough to hang.

>don't talk to you

why don't you talk to them instead, then?

i don't mean to be rude but maybe it's your anxiety or attitude getting in the way of making friends (not shitting on you, i was the same way during my teens).

yes such women exist. i met my closest female friends through my first art degree and we became such good friends through our shared passion and a love for the community. what kind of circles are you in anon? they sound shallow as heck.

No. 61229

>>61221
Yeah, they're called like… normal people.

No. 61237

To be fair I did make friends with a girl online who happens to live close who pretty much enjoys the same hobbies as me. We talking about going to all these places to hang out and meet her friends. Then suddenly, for the past two weeks she stopped getting on. I hope everything is okay, but I'm sort of leaning towards that friendship is over.
>>61199
I've been told I'm very upfront and honest ;A ; I would enjoy meeting other girls and making more friends. Unfortunately I saw the messages some of those girls sent, I wish it was my paranoia. Why don't you have any fem friends irl?
>>61207
It happened a lot 3 years ago, which I don't disagree with you. I mainly wanted to discuss the fault of finding friends is my own.

No. 61240

I'm a guy (ban me idgaf)

But all my female friends turn out to be the same: two faced, backstabbing flakes who will use you as an emotional tampon during a difficult period of their life and then discard you once they're through their rough patch

shit gender for friendships tbh. Being a girl honestly sounds like hell in terms of forming friendships.

I just can't get over all the lies and bitchiness I hear second hand from female friends in regards to their social circles. So much cheating, manipulative behaviour and all around awful shittiness. It gives me so much second hand stress honestly hearing all that shit, and finding out how awful people are in their private lives.

Guys are so much simpler in our friend groups damn.

The exception I've seen is maybe one or two "best friends" most girls have who've they've known since they were young. Crucially these are girls they aren't around all the time and so the catty bitchiness that usually forms between girls never really manifests. They just sort of meet up a few times a year to maintain their friendship.

But then again this website is populated mostly by people who fit the description of those kinds of girls perfectly. So I guess you guys like living in snake pits, because you feel at home? (ban me I fucking dare u)(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 61242

File: 1495390315253.jpg (27.63 KB, 625x626, shit.jpg)


No. 61243

File: 1495390601934.jpg (47.34 KB, 960x580, 13645326_1215936955103269_8791…)

>>61240
>(ban me I fucking dare u)

No. 61244

>>61221
>How do you find friends who aren't jealous of your boyfriend
I can never imagine that happening to me, but I guess that's because none of my friends are interested in being in a relationship and neither am I. If any of the things you've mentioned apply to you and your "friends" you need to ditch them asap. Friends are supposed to support each others.

>>61224
>(most of them are lowkey fujos)
Same for my friend group. It may sound stupid but I don't get along as well with normies as I do with my friends and people I talk to online.

No. 61249

>>60919
Let this "i cant be friends with other girls~" meme die, for the love of God.

Of course it's possible, you're just undesirable in some aspect or you're socially stunted. That's not the female gender's fault, it's yours.


>>61148
This could happen in any kind of friendship. People change and fall apart, people have different motives from the getgo.

This thread reeks of edge girls who only hug out with the boys who wanted to fuck them and wondered why other girls steered clear of their shitty personality and need something to blame.

No. 61250

>>61221
You reflect the company you keep, anon. If so many of you are having to beat your girlfriends off of your bf with a stick, that says a lot about your personality. I highly doubt your boyfriend is some Adonis that women just can't control themselves around.
This anon >>61228 gets it.

Most of you sound like you still have a "she wears short skirts, I wear tshirts" mentality. Grow up. I promise you'll find good friends.

Hell, I even have a good bit of female friends, and I've always had a lot of trouble with it because I'm a lesbian and it makes straight girls leery. It's gotten better because of how PC everyone is, it's still a lot more difficult than it should be. If I can do it, I'm sure you can stop sucking your own clit for five minutes to actually bother being a friend to someone and not use them as an emotional check list of expectations. That's what it sounds like you're all really looking for, and that's the problem.

No. 61258

File: 1495400892407.jpg (47.83 KB, 800x535, snek.jpg)

>>61240
Fuck you I love snakes

No. 61270

File: 1495407064862.png (55.86 KB, 446x400, 1433368570925.png)

I'm almost done with high school. I have a couple female friends, but larger groups of girls seem to speak in a language I don't know. I definitely agree with the anon who was talking about social graces, because my shit-talking ways have alienated normal girls a couple times.

Call me edgy, but different girls can bond over different superficial things. A well-done face of makeup, a fantasy novel, and a k-pop t shirt are cues in a similar way. Generalizing 50% of the population and then ~trying to understand~ is stupid.

The way I made friends in high school is not being afraid to bug quiet people sometimes. Eventually I met people who had a couple things in common with me, which I think is possible for anyone in this thread.

No. 61278

>>61249
not that anon, and i -do- have good female friends, but a lot of girls who try to friend me are drama bitches. it probably just has to do with where you meet girls.

No. 61285

File: 1495417117349.jpg (207.74 KB, 700x1000, IMG_3697.JPG)

You have to wade through piles of crap. Either they're bitches or you'll drift apart. I have a close bff though and we're thick as thieves for the last 10+ years but she's the only one.

Actually when you get ancient like me (26) you'll have less friends in general. I ran around with so many people at 19-23 and you just get tired.

Shit like friends where you have close and trustworthy friendships in your thirties, it's honestly more unrealistic than the big fancy apartment.

No. 61318

File: 1495460062773.png (513.58 KB, 640x480, 4531464325.png)

hearing that it's harder to make and keep friends as you get older is so depressing to me.

i'm going to be graduating college soon. i pretty much stopped talking to my high school friends as soon as we graduated, and the most we do now is like each other's instagram posts. i'm worried - will my friends and i stop talking after graduating? do we even have anything in common outside of having fun lunches and gossiping together? they're all the fujo/nerdy types, just like me.

No. 61319

>>61318
Same boat, anon. I'm graduating soon and my best friends and times were in college (freshman and sophomore year, not later when the courseload is higher). You will grow, and you might grow apart as your interests change. But if you're really friends, you'll find something to bond over. My friend and I from high school don't cosplay anymore (she works too many jobs right now, I'm working on my master's), but we still go out to lunch when we can and we've always been there for each other. I can't say that for all of my friends, but I don't mind keeping the ones that matter.

I also made a few friends recently joining local organizations with another friend of mine. Don't forget about social events and clubs (I swear to you, adult knitting clubs are way more fun than they sound), they can also help introduce you to more people.

No. 61360

>>60919

I like friends! Friends are the best! Friendship is always possible! You should never give up on friendship because I like friends.

No. 61394

>>60919
I have literally one female friend. I met her last year. My old BFF from years ago was never really a friend. We rarely hung out, has literally never once helped me through a hard time in my life the few times i came to her for comfort, but always wanted me to help her when shit got bad. Finally just got sick of it.

All the other girls I know just rarely talk to me.

But unfortunately this one girl is super busy. She's literally always working because housing is so expensive out where we live, so I don't get to see her much but it's like no time passed in that moment.
When we do talk she always asks me if things are going well which the old bff never asked.

Even if I'm not her best friend at least i have someone to fill that void in for me.

But i honestly don't have confidence it will last. Either she'll move and forget about me, or meet someone better. I'm just trying to enjoy it until then.

She's the first one to buy me a christmas gift though.

No. 62347

Currently in the process of cutting off the only two "friends" I made in my first year of uni. We were in super cliquey halls of residence so we kind of had to bond together in order to not be alone, but I don't think I have ever met such catty bitter people in my life and spending time with them is so draining especially when I know that they both talk shit about me when I'm not there. I'm in my last year of uni and I really don't know how to find nice, interesting normal people who share my interests. Tried joining an anime club and everyone was a weeb. Tried befriending some people off twitter and they turned out to be scary tumblerinas. I don't want my boyfriend to be the only person I can talk to, I crave some kind of female intimacy.

No. 62350

File: 1496677824770.jpg (95.65 KB, 1200x830, elephantshrew.jpg)

The majority of my friendships are, and have been, with other women. Honestly, it's a mixed bag just like with anyone else.

I've had plenty of friends who I have cut out of my life due various different reasons: some would just talk shit about me to their other friends that they would do the same to, some would drop me once they found a "cooler" friend group, some were just friends with me out of convenience, and some just dragged me down emotionally because they were in a bad mental state themselves and encouraged me to stoop to the game level as an effort to "relate". In spite of this, I have a large amount of friendships with other women that are incredibly valuable to me and whenever we do have some type of issue between us, we resolve it in a matter of moments and continue on.

Lately, I found that a lot of my male friendships are much more dramatic and cattier than any of my female friendships. Lately I find that a lot of my male friends are only friends with me because their end goal of it all is to either escalate our friendship into a relationship or to have sex. And of course not reciprocating to these attempts lead to a lot of anger and bitterness on their end, so I had to let go of a lot of my male friendships due to it. Actually, I'm more comfortable being friends with men in relationships because there isn't that fear that they're just friends with me in hopes of it escalating to something more. I'm not trying to humblebrag, but I'm just trying to illustrate that a lot of friendships don't hang on the contingency of sex or gender.

I just think it's a matter of going into a platonic relationship with someone with no end goal set in sight and just feeling out how the person clicks with you. It helps if the both of you are in similar mindsets and have similar temperaments–after all, birds of a feather flock together.

No. 62351

>>62350
*same level

No. 62366

>>62347
Wow, I went thru exactly this last year. Cut off my only female close friend because she was an insecure and a catty hypocrite. She'd put down girls for doing cutesy shit and then turn around and do the same. I got so sick of her constantly talking shit and I knew she was talking shit about me too.

It sucks not having a close female friend but, god, Im so happy without her.
I just want a fun, chill gamer gf that wants to cosplay. The only person I talk to on a regular basis is my boyfriend. I miss shopping and doing girly stuff.

No. 62370

>>60919
>Is it possible to form a lasting bond between those who are similar in this significant way?

Of course it is you idiot.

No. 62375

>>60919
I've always wanted a really close BFF girl friend. Like one you can talk to any time and hang out and do things with most days. I get so jealous when I see girls with friends like that. Mostly I want this because I've been fucking depressed for a lot of my life and I've never had a close friendship like that and I know it would help to have someone like that. It seems like most of the time, they find someone else that is more important to them or they get a boyfriend that takes up too much of their time.
The only thing I have right now are friends that live far away that I only text, a few guy friends that still live here that don't give too much of a shit, and people that are too busy.
The only girl friend that I had living here (and had known for years) I recently quit talking to because we had a "falling out". Also because she didn't seem to give a shit about me either.

No. 62376

>>62366
At the end of the day we are far better off without them, but it just feels rotten not really having a strong bond with another girl. I'm really glad I'm not the only one though, but I'm sorry you are dealing with this too

No. 62378

>>62375
>I recently quit talking to because we had a "falling out"
What, no, fight for it! This is IMPORTANT. This is in the core of your LIFE.

>Also because she didn't seem to give a shit about me either.

Is she your mommy or your friend? Friends are not there to give a shit. Friends are there to lend out a hand. And you sure need that extra hand in this world, believe me. And that's worth fighting for.

Call her. Talk to her.

No. 62379

>>62378
See I'm always stuck between fighting for people (because it seems like that's all I've ever done) and cutting out people when I need to.
In this particular situation, I was talking to barely anybody because of how depressed I was, I wasn't eating and really wanted to die. I did tell her that I was depressed, but that I didn't want to talk about it at the time, and she knows I have chronic depression, knows I've had issues with food, possibly knows about past self harm. I really just could not talk to many people at that time. But she got really offended about me not talking to her anymore, and thought she was the one doing all the work, and in general kind of wanted me to feel bad about it. Then told me she was depressed because of something that happened to her with a friend in the summer. Trust me when I say, this girl does not understand what depression is like and most likely meant she was just sad about something that happened. It's not like she has nobody to talk to or do things with, she does have a boyfriend too. I honestly blew up at her over messaging (I NEVER do this to friends) with my life story and how depression has ruined my life. It all ended with "Okay, I'm here if you ever need me". I feel like I just can't anymore, anon. :( I'm the type of person to always, always, put people before me, and do things for people, care for them, and I always have. I don't know if I've just been fed up and have turned into a bitch or what.

No. 62384

>>62379
thats a toughie b/c id always choose quality friends over quantity, but you rlly need to cultivate friendships to be that quality

I don't think its cool she played depression olympics but I feel like its worth reconciling if what she got upset over was you not talking to her as much, just let her know ur going to be more available from now on

No. 62443

i'm sorry for all anons who had bad experiences with female friends, i spent a chunk of my life very alone and i know how frustrating it can get. but if you're not able to form a meaningful, geniune relationship with at least one or two of billions of females on this planet, please consider the fact that there may be something wrong with you rather than the half of the human population.

No. 63869

i was best friends with this one girl since the tender age of 5. she would always say awful shit to me and make me cry but i ignored it out of genuine sisterly affection for her. i should have realized how shitty she was sooner, but i was a child and i didn’t want to lose my best friend who by that point i had known for half of my life. the abrupt end to our friendship happened one year out of high school when she randomly blocked me on all social media (not before talking a ton of shit about me to her other friends behind my back lol) because supposedly i was the toxic one. she never even bothered to be upfront with me about the problems she had with me, she just bottled it up for ages and never fucking brought it up so of course it came as a huge shock to me when she cut off contact. i begged her for closure through our other mutual friends, but she was such a massive coward that she ignored that, too.

joke’s on her because i’ve been best friends with her other close friend (who she introduced me to) for about 10 years now and we’ve never had a falling out. i think the closest thing to a “fight” we had was when he got miffed at me for accidentally spoiling an episode of a TV show. our friendship is less drama and way more fun, and i never realized how dysfunctional my friendship with her was until i found a real friend who truly cares.

like the previous anon >>62350 said, friendships with either sex are a mixed bag. most female friends i’ve had have either stabbed me in the back or just simply drifted away from me. there is a trickier balance with women in some ways but it can be really rewarding, and i think girls are like cats in that sense. they’ll let you get close one minute and claw you the next, but every cat is different and some are more trustworthy than others. i haven’t given up hope that i’ll find a female friend eventually and i can’t let one nightmarish cunt color my perception of an entire gender.

No. 63914

>>62443
This one hundred times. Theres a lot of 'oh girls were terrible to me when I was in school', it sounds like you let your teen years cement your ideas of all girls being shit, and are determined to carry that cross for the rest of your life - using that to explain why despite you being the common denominator, its everyone else's fault that you cant maintain a friendship.

All my close female friendships (5+ years of strong close good times) I've made were with girls who I first met over the internet and then met up with irl, so I think anons who mentioned trying to make friends with women who you don't think would be good prospects due to looks is good advice.

No. 63915

I went to an all-girls school before high school which I think made me lean more towards female friends since then.

The biggest thing I feel is that I'm not outgoing so I've met a lot of people through work/college/cons that I see and can chat with them, but I've never hung out with them outside of that so we never become more than acquaintances.
I'm lucky for my friends as 95% of the time it was because they invited me in and we clicked.

No. 63919

The majority of my close girl friends i met throuhout highschool and early college. Lately it seems more difficult to make girl friends since I came out as a lesbian, which doesn't make sense to me since i'm not particularly sexual or lgbt politics obsessed. On the one hand it weeds out homophobic people automatically, but on the other hand it is annoying that girls always assume i want to fuck them just because i'm gay.

I do believe close female friendships are possible, i have several close female and male friendships. They're a different dynamic in each type but female friendships feel a lot like a sisterhood to me where I can share more personal emotional problems and also lighter stufr like feminine hobbies (makeup, clothes, cutesy stuff, going to dance or art classes together). I think having female friends also helped me understand what is important to me in a romantic relationship and how to be happy without one when i would be going through breakups (i've never needed to constantly seek out romantic relationships to fill an intimacy void like lots of women i know without close girl friends). Probably the biggest factor in maintaining female friendships is having a secure view of yourself, not falling into self comparison or jealousy with other women and having friends that do the same jn return. I had several friendships before that tanked pretty early on because girls would make petty jealous comments or try to bring me down so I would feel less smart, less talented at something, or less beautiful/attractivre than them. Those relationships are honestly a waste of time.

No. 63994

>>60995
Ugh, I really hate this. We're already underrepresented/stereotyped and the few times we aren't painted as bad you just try to reinforce that we are, lol.

No. 64028

>>63919

>having female friends also helped me understand what is important to me in a romantic relationship and how to be happy without one when i would be going through breakups


this a million times. having like-minded, supportive, emotionally available friends (of either sex) protects you from going into SO many bad relationships. when you have people that genuinely care about you, you don't constantly search for care, attention and a means to fill your time and get involved with the first loser who gives them to you.

also, i think it just now clicked that why so many anons here are complaining of being a friendless shut-in and are also in terrible relationships. they literally have no one else probably.

No. 64091

>>64028
sometimes it's easier to find a bf than regular friends.

and eh, i wish i had more friends, and the ones i have, i don't know if they're that great. but i still don't feel the need to be in random relationships. maybe it's just because i get too irritated after a while with most people.

No. 64100

I have one good female friend that has never let me down, always makes me feel appreciated, never feels like we're in competition with each other, etc. She's the best. I can't imagine having a bond like this with anyone else. The rest of my friends have always been guys. They're easy, predictable, and no pressure. You don't feel like hanging out or playing vidya today? That's cool. Ttyl. They don't make a big deal out of certain things that most female friends would. They also don't take your friendship as seriously. Which, I'm fine with. Some girls want to go deeper with their guy friends without entering into a relationship with them and I find that doesn't work.

No. 64139

>>63919
I'm >>61250, and I've had that issue my entire life. It's easier now, but it still sucks. It's to the point to where I don't mention my sexual orientation to potential female friends at all in fear of alienating them.

>>64091
Sex is a strong motivator for men, and you get to not put in any effort. Male friends are easy modo, because their thirst for female attention (with the anticipation of sex or not) is strong enough for them to work at keeping your attention and interaction. Females friendships have a different type of foundation, and most of you aren't willing to meet them halfway. That's why I think there are so many "I have mostly male friends, I just cant be close with girls~" anon in these threads are coming from. And what >>64028 said.

No. 64174

>>64139
>and most of you aren't willing to meet them halfway
what makes you think that?

No. 64309

The last girl friends I've had were from my work. One of them I ended up having a threesome with her and her boyfriend. And the other one only befriended me because she wanted me to be the third person in a threesome with her boyfriend. Because word got out.

So I am done with girl friendships for a while. I don't know if I'm gay or bi but if you supply me with enough alcohol, combined with my gullible personality, I can be persuaded to do anything. I still feel used by it. My then boyfriend dumped me over that whole ordeal. Rightfully so.

I'm very close with my cousins so I think I can manage

No. 64323

>>64309
Anon you probably know but your whole post is a worrying you can't call those girls friends if they were just using you for sexual fantasies, and I hope you don't base your view of actual female friends on their shitty behavior. Take the time and heal, but just know that it was not normal. Also
>but if you supply me with enough alcohol, combined with my gullible personality, I can be persuaded to do anything. I still feel used by it.
There is a lot to work through there and it concerns me. You can be explore a wild sex life without having to feel obligated to everyone who decides to 'convince' you to do things, but it doesn't make you any less of a person if you either do want to or don't want to do things. Reclaiming the confidence to say no is important. I hope you are ok.

No. 64540

>>60993
i know this feel anon

No. 64651

>>60919
I just got home from a visit home where I only got to hang out with my mom. The only friends who hung out with me were friends of my husband who mostly asked about him. None of my friends answered my messages about getting together except one, who flaked on me.

So when I came home my old habit of how i let my anxiety about how people view me get in the way almost made me fight my best friend and forget that she really does love me she just has a lot going on herself (She just broke up and got back together with her boyfriend so things probably aren't perfection right now).

She doesn't talk to me much though. She hasn't told me the details of what happened and even though I know she's still my friend and still enjoys hanging out with me I keep getting angry and jealous because she's hanging out with another female friend. Ultimately my opinion is "So what? She can have other friends" but a part of me is still jealous and upset and even angry at the idea that this other girl might know what's been going on with her while my friend barely talks to me.

But when we're hanging out in person she pours open with everything, even broke down crying on my birthday.

I don't know.

Maybe i just can't be friends with girls? I never feel this way about guys.

No. 64837

I feel super lucky to have close girl friends… idk what I would do without em. All of my friends I'm super close to I met in elementary school (1st, 2nd, and 4th). Even when we haven't seen eachother in awhile, everytime we meet up again is super comfortable and I know we have eachothers backs. I have witnessed (and experienced) what OP is talking about tho. Knowing a friend since elementary school does build a special bond, but it always doesn't keep it together, since one of my friends recently ended her relationship w/ her elementary school "best friend".



Delete Post [ ]
[Return] [Catalog]
[ Rules ] [ ot / g / m ] [ pt / snow / w ] [ meta ] [ Discord ]