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All that has more to do with confidence than looks. I know piss ugly girls who act confident and have boyfriends/lots of friends because they're confident. One of them is also stupid to boot yet she's not insecure about that either.
Honestly from what I've observed even sort of pretty girls who are kind but quiet, socially awkward homebodies tend to get treated worse because they don't 'own' their personality. They either get talked over and ignored or shit on by meaner girls who think they have to be tough in order to be successful and well-respected.
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If you don't mind elaborating,In what way dose he treat you like a princess?
showers me with affection, only cares to be around me, never disrespects me, is just very considerate about everything, in every part of our lives. he's happy to support me fully – financially and emotionally. he prefers that i not work and doesn't resent me if i don't, doesn't mind paying for schooling, etc. basically, whatever i want/prefer, comes first, and not in a begrudging, resentful way, the way most men seem to act when doing things that please their partners. he just likes taking care of me and likes making me happy. he doesn't feel obligated – he just likes feeling like i'm his responsibility. i try to make decisions equally and balance our relationship out, to make sure his needs/wants are met, but he always prefers to do what makes me happiest. i'm his number 1 priority.
i've seen a lot of guys that act pretty nice, but still degrade women, especially sexually, which, imo, cheapens the relationship. he doesn't expect anything of me sexually, either, unlike many men seem to. he's a very sensitive soul. we've been together for 5 years, and friends since we were teens, and we're still crazy about each other.
the financial part isn't very important and i never expected/went into the relationship with the expectation of being "taken care of", but i rarely see "traditional" relationships where there isn't considerable resentment present.
sorry for the blogpost, i wanted to explain in depth, because i hear a lot of women talking about their relationships in a positive light, when frankly, their relationships are dysfunctional and dehumanising, especially on a sexual level – like being treated well in other facets of their lives needs to be balanced by the expectation of sex/being degraded in the bedroom.
When I was in my teens, I was thin and pretty (although I didn't realise it at the time). I had long, thick hair, good facial bone structure, clear skin with no makeup needed, a lovely hourglass figure and big doe eyes. I look back on photos of myself and I find it shocking I didn't realise how cute I was. I also noticed that strangers (particularly men) would be unusually nice to me; they'd insist I skip them I'm the queue, let me first onto public transport/amusement rides/elevators, I'd be given little extras from waiters or barmen when I ordered, they used to give me a few cents if they saw me struggling to search for money in my purse, they'd apologise if they bumped into me/stood on my foot ("God, are you okay? I'm so sorry! I'm such a dick!"), I got flirted with a lot whenever I went out…
But the whole time I was struggling from depression and slowly my hair got thinner, my skin got bad and I gained weight from binge eating. Over the last few years I noticed that all those "nice" gestures magically disseapeared and now men are incredibly rude to me in public, they get really impatient with me, attempt to skip me in queues, bump into me and pretend nothing happened and just downright ignore me a lot of the time. Even though I find this kind of behaviour fucking disgusting, I'm ngl I miss being thin and pretty. I miss knowing I was desirable to men, I miss getting winks from cute waiters, I miss guys really making my day by offering me a seat or helping me pay for something, I miss being able to waltz into a store and buy w.e I wanted in it without trying it on and looking gorgeous in it, I miss getting compliments from friends or drunk girls in bathrooms. Ugh I just want it all back even though I knew it was just to get in my underage pants.
I guess the moral of my story was that even when I was thin and cute, I didn't appreciate it and I had a lot of mental problems. When I gained weight and got ugly I realised that men had ulterior motives and they weren't being nice to me out of the goodness of their hearts. You can't really win either way.
I agree to your account.
As a teenager, I was so uncomfortable in my body and a perfectionist to a crippling degree. My self esteem was low, but not pliable by others, so I was completely clueless to advances and compliments.
When men were teasing me and hardcore flirting with me, my mind was so warped I thought they were belittling me and it fueled my self loathing. This cycle started at 13 all the way until I was 19 and became depressed.
I had an eating disorder because I went through puberty early and had an hourglass figure. This isn't humblebrag, this is just me finally seeing through my own delusions after years of degrading myself. To me, my waist being extremely small proportioned to the rest of my body made me look like a freak and because boys my age were behind me, I felt so fat and uncomfortable. I was miserable. I couldn't imagine anyone liking me.
Now I'm just a normal mid-20s girl, trying to get that same glow back that I lost to years of starving and neglecting myself out of misery and unhappiness. I'm trying to take care of my thin teeth, thicken my hair, get good skin back, little by little become more comfortable dressing and making up again without being scared and overwhelmed and overly conscious. And I'm doing okay, but when I look back and see how good I looked as a teenager it feels WASTED. So much potential lol and all I did was cry and puke and starve.
These cute-but-self-hating-teen comments are so painful to read, especially because I know that I (and probably most of you) are still cute, but now not only do we have those issues but also a past, cuter (or thinner) self to compare ourselves to.
I'm still young, I still get "pretty girl treatment", I'm not as thin but I'm nowhere near chubby either, and I know I should enjoy it but I still fucking can't.
Being cute isn't worth shit if you still hate yourself>>57236
Why would you say such a mean thing, anon?
How is it mean when it's usually the truth?
I've heard plenty of boyfriends and boyfriends of friends say this
Aww anon, I'm really sorry ;-; maybe I shouldn't have after all
but everyone seemed to be really honest here so I did
anyway, I agree with you, I'm 23 and I envy my teenage self and I shouldn't. At 17 I starved myself until I was stick thin and while I feel like I've ruined my body since from dyeing my hair too much and the weight I've gained, I know it's wrong and really we should just feel cute in ourselves so I agree with you
Even when I was at my thinnest and prettiest I felt anything but and I was still insecure. You could become a supermodel and still probably have that remaining insecurity
I'm definitely doing me, and it did net me a pretty amazing guy. I seem to attract guys because I think the contrast between my looks (I've got wide eyes) and my personality is somehow appealing, but ofc it's usually people into tomboys or blunt women, which is funny because my dress style isn't overly tomboyish all the time. I'm still kinda surprised when people who see me being like that call me cute, though, just considering things. I guess that's talking looks/passion over "you say fuck every twenty seconds."
I intimidate a lot of people, but oh well, I prefer that to people thinking they can patronize me if I'd act "cute." Especially since I'm in STEM.
So you can get away with being less attractive if you play your cards right, but it seems to depend on the hand you have or play.
Man, a lot of the posts so far are hitting far too close to home.
Like a couple of other anons, I was thin and cute (with great, clear, no effort skin) for a very brief moment in my teens, and promptly went to shit because my ED got out of control and went the opposite end of the spectrum. I'm feeling a lot better but thinking about how elated I was about seeing myself disappear makes me nostalgic, in the most fucked up way.
I've also got some racial issues over my features, too. I'm white/asian, and my features did not come out flattering. I've got the world's broadest nose and small, deep set eyes, set on an extremely broad, square jawline. There's been afternoons where all I do is play with Meitu or even Photoshop to see how I can improve my face. But there's no way to fix my face unless I get cosmetic surgery and redo everything from the ground up. Then my body is a whole other mess as well. Wide body, that never looks good above an extremely low weight.
I'm really jealous of the other, similarly biracial girls I see who do fit that ideal Eurasian look. They're like designer hybrid dogs while I'm some mangy mutt nobody wants to adopt from a shelter.
I genuinely think that being pretty would have lightened my mental workload. A lot of my depression that's stalled me from doing anything from my life was due to a fixation on my looks. I put off going to college partially because I was frightened by going outside due to how fat and ugly I perceived myself.
Even my personality can't save me because my mental health has completely neutered any charisma or likability I've ever had.
Sorry for the intense blogging. Being ugly and lonely is upsetting.
I have the same issue as most of the other anons here, but I wasn't pretty in my youth.
I was thinner, but I had terrible acne. I was always trying to hide my pear shape with long jackets and loose shirts and started eating less in hopes that it would make my hips smaller. My scalp is permanently damaged because of chemical burns I got when I was three so I have massive bald spots that I hid in high school because my mom continued to relax it until she felt I was old enough to care for my own. I also have a few other flaws that can't really be helped that stayed with me till now
But I've gotten worse. I wasn't attractive in my teens, but I wasn't THIS bad. At least I looked young and thin despite being unnattractive, but now I don't even have that. People were still nice to me because I theyd think I was shy and kind and I didn't really get any compliments other than about how thin I was. People talked to me even though I never went out of my way to talk to them, or even if I actively avoided people. I even had a few short-lived relationships.
Now I've put on weight. Not quite obese, but obviously pretty chubby. It seems to draw more attention to my unattractive features and I probably look sloppy or sick because I'm always wearing a scarf because my natural hair doesn't cover my bald spots. I've noticed that people aren't as accepting of me now that I'm in college.
It might just be my depleted confidence speaking, but that in itself is proof that being attractive helps. I'm still awkward, but it's been met with hostility lately. It's not 'cute' anymore now that I'm some unfortunate looking woman. I notice people have been making fun of me for little things more often, too. Like not too long ago, a couple of guys on campus were walking towards me, but I didn't notice, so when I looked up, I jumped and immediately moved out of the way. It was apparently hilarious and they went on to mock me, mocking my behavior right there in full view of others, and said something along the lines of 'what the fuck was that'
People, even up to my senior year in high school which was only a year ago, found that kind of behavior cute and would go out of their way to frighten me because I'd yelp or jump and they'd find it adorable. I mean, I hated it and wished it would stop, but now that I look back on it, it's almost preferable to not being liked at all.
I luckily have a girlfriend who's been with me since high school and I love her to death, but she's obviously much more attractive than I am and people treat her so kindly and almost tend to flock to her. Granted, she's much more outgoing than I am, but she knows that she's very attractive to people and I've seen her use it to her advantage. With cops, small business owners, random people she draws in. It feels a little bad because we're always together and I feel repulsive next to her. I feel guilty because we can't be a cute couple together and I worry she'll find someone just the same as I am, but attractive and eventually leave me for her.
I feel like most of my issues, like self-esteem and lack of confidence, wouldn't be so crippling if I were attractive. People tend to judge by appearance first and foremost, even if they're not really trying to, so I think attractiveness plays a significant role in social interactions
Well sometimes men are less likely to approach women are who are very attractive because they think they have less of a chance with them. "Very attractive" meaning they obviously puts a lot of care in their appearance etc, high maintenance if you will.
It could be that, or maybe your body is just more attractive at a higher weight.
Not true at all.
I thought that for a long time. I tried so hard to be something I wasn't because I thought having a masculine personality had me doomed. It was impossible for me to play pretend, though. I'm not dainty.
I'm a tiny girl but I've always had a very big personality, very blunt and cold, sarcastic, I don't smile unless I'm genuine, I don't feel like I owe people anything and vice versa. I'm not an ass to strangers or anything, I'm still respectful, I just measure situations how I see fit.
And although I often feel like I'm patronized like a sixth grader from looks alone, once people interact with me or pick up on my aura/presence they just tend to be intimidated. Doesn't matter that I'm small. I hated myself for this for a long time but I wouldn't trade it for anything now.
I met my best friend and partner and he loves who I am, and we have SO much fun because I can be myself. I'd rather be the unapologetic goofy bitch I am than force myself into a shape that doesn't fit for some superficial relationship.
I don't need men to flirt with me. They talk to me like I'm one of the guys (kind of San "ugh" thing I know) but I'm okay with that. I get honesty from them. They joke with me, and I prefer them seeing me as a friend rather than a sex object.
Here's why most men treat you like a friend when you're like this: they know they can't pull the wool over your eyes. You're too sharp for them. They can't use sweet nothings on you and that intimidates them. If they're looking for something easy (think fast food) they don't want to put in the effort or honesty your personality requires. Think of it as weeding out the week and keeping you open for someone you're actually compatible with.
Disclaimer just because I'm this way doesn't mean I think other girls have to be or that I'm better.
I'd say I get more attention now that I actually groom myself a lot more unlike 2 years ago when that happened so that could be it.
Either way I'll see more pounds later :D
>>57277>People don't want to be around quiet. There's nothing wrong with being quiet, but socially, that's just how it is
I mean, when I say quiet I mean still willing to engage in and even start conversation but just not … idk, super out there? I just don't think it's fair to say everyone has to be super engaging, because for some people it's just not going to happen until they get to know you better (which takes a bit of time)
But that doesn't make them any less likable?
I don't know, I don't mind other quiet people at all, in fact I love them. But maybe that's just because I'm that way myself. Meh
It's kind of like how some guys think Russian and Swedish girls are all 10/10's, and because of their bias even if they meet a 5/10 from one of these countries they will rate the girls 10/10's.
Or how some weebs and koreaboos will act like all Japanese and Korean guys look like actors and models and settle for 4/10's just because they are ~So Kpop living anime desu~
The standards are definitely lower for white women, but that's because the standard for beauty IS being white.
So if you're a black women for example you're shit out of luck unless you have a weave and "white" features. Meanwhile white women are worshipped if they have features more typically associated with black women, like larger lips or a very curvy figure. I don't really understand it.
I thought the standard of beauty was shifting to a more exotic ethnic look in general.
Then again on the internet, particularly on sites like this, white girls are most favored with pale east asians second place. Everyone else is dead last
They are, but it's like there's quota on the amount of exotic features you are allowed to have or something.
If Kim Kardashian had dark skin, she would be a nobody I guarantee it. The only dark skinned women who are considered pretty have typically white features other than their skintone really.
No no I get it, I adore many quiet people because often when they open up its very sweet and satisfying.
But like, say, in a work setting, it's best to take initiative for yourself and naturally people gravitate towards sociable people because they take minimal effort.
>>57339>most of the internet is white and they prefer their own women.
It's common sense to prefer your own people. You never said what skin tone or race you belong to but I'm 100% sure that a guy from your own race or whatever would find you most attractive.
As for most of the internet being white that's just a product of living in a western civilization, and seeing as we are speaking English you're probably part of one.
Even then you can find someone to be attracted to you its just statistics. Though that requires effort and I doubt any of us are outgoing enough to find it.
This, quiet people are nice if you're the one who's quiet - there's nothing wrong with you, but it gives people the wrong impression and you make yourself very hard to talk to sometimes. By being quiet you effectively shut yourself off from the rest of society so of course people start to think you're haughty and arrogant or autistic, or they just assume you're shy and don't want to scare you because shy people usually look in pain or uncomfortable when they're being talked to.
I used to consider myself a quiet, shy wallflower. I'm from a Western European country where people tend to be very physical - greeting each other with kisses and hugs, frequent touching, standing very close etc. For our standards, I was considered quiet because I speak quietly and take a long time to open up to people (but do get attached easily anyway). That was all well and good because others could help me out and fill in the awkward silences.
Then I went on student exchange to Finland. Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the Apostles strike me down, never again. I was a social butterfly compared to most people there, most people looked at me as if I was some alien and I hated the attention because I never knew if it was positive or not, although it never felt positive to me.
There is no small talk there. As in, it just doesn't exist. When you talk to someone they are either kinda flustered but nice or full sperg mode with an impenetrable poker face and one-word replies. Idk, maybe their autism is so strong that those people learn to communicate via telepathy from a young age or something and I'm very clearly an inferior being. If you've ever seen that episode of Father Ted with Fr Stone the quiet priest, that's what it felt like. Like talking to a wall. Nay, even a wall would make more facial expressions than that. Every person I approached looked irritated and/or mildly disgusted for being approached, if indeed they made any facial expressions at all.
I asked a classmate if they wanted to accompany me to a day trip to Estonia and they freaked, said they were busy then went without me. I went to a store to try on a pair of glasses and the male clerk's hands were literally shaking. I'm fairly small so I can't be that
intimidating. Finally I stopped talking to anyone and just spent the rest of my year doing things by myself in silence. People just ignored me. I became depressed and self-conscious.
I came back home and everything was back to normal. People made small talk and hugged me again, everything was okay.
That's what it feels like when you're alone with a quiet person. You have to do all the hard work and eventually you just run out of things to talk about since the other person doesn't want to keep a conversation going. Which feels uncomfortable and kinda hurts because people feel like you're rejecting them.
you are too real
sending my love your way <3
God, that's so true. I could pull a semi-cutie card when I was younger with some guys with weird tastes but now it's fucking over and nobody want me. I try to play the smart card but no-one want to see me as a peer.
It fucking sucks.
I actually meant to type "moo"
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Finland sounds like the perfect country for me.
Yes you're right but people get caught up with that and grow insecurities because of it so putting it in mind helps.
Hispanics and black guys find me highly attractive and while white guys do too, it's obvious the attraction is less romantic/emotional and more sexual/less serious. I suppose that's normal.
I do agree, they're overall nice people and aren't afraid to make fun of themselves. Few are rude, they've just got country-wide assburgers.>>57420
Idk I like the French accent (and the French). The Finnish accent sounds funny to me, but I don't hate it - it's just easier for me to explain things to the frogs, even if I do get a response in French only.
English courses in France aren't good, tbh. Had to add years of watching series/movies and working by myself to get to a somewhat fluent english.
I still have that shit accent.
Idk, being my own kind of pretty is exactly the issue for me. I just don't like some parts of myself and will never grow to like them. I've hated my nose pretty much since it started looking the way it does now. I also hated the 'beauty marks' on my face until I had them removed, and I couldn't be happier. Getting my nose fixed soon too.
I don't even pay attention to other girls in the room unless we're talking and they're really sweet, or they're wearing something pretty, it's more the realisation that I could look that much better by just changing this one thing about myself that gets me. Which is fine if you have thinner lips or dark circles, but you can't change your bone structure.
Have you seen
some of the other threads here anon?
I completely agree with you, but one of the disadvantageous that come with the advantage of an anonymous image board is it attracts a lot of angry and depressed people (and being anonymous gives a place to be way more honest than even a forum where people can track your posting history).
are definitely speaking the truth, unfortunately. I get treated a lot better when I take care of my appearance, and when I let my skin go (broke out), stopped wearing makeup or even brushing hair (depression), wore shit clothes, I got treated like shit by men and women. It was a pretty big wakeup call…although I don't think you even need to be that
cute probably, just put an effort into looking presentable. Some people look presentable even without washing their face/brushing hair and wearing rags. For the rest of us though, we actually have to make an effort.
>tl;dr I treat cute people better too
I used to be very pious about how I "didn't judge a book by a cover" but it was probably just that the average student doesn't deal with many people. At work I interact with 100+ people a day, often at such a past pace that I'm tired and less likely to care how I can help people.
I started to realize I give preferential treatment to sociable and presentable people. Slobbish fat people have to be charming for me to invest in the same way, and even I might still not want to talk to them. I bend over backwards for people I'm attracted to, although if a generally attractive person turns out to be a jerk then I quickly hate them too. I can only put up with children if they're cute/clean and I tend to get angry faster at older men, people with RBF and anyone in a ~*~personality summed up with a slogan~*~ Tshirt.
I try to question my own actions/prejudice where I can even though it can be uncomfortable, but at the same time I'll laugh at anyone who claims to not judge people. It's also depressingly highlighted how "invisible" middle aged women are and how in workplaces they are treated more harshly than younger women by men. I now put more effort into self presentation and smiling a lot more.>>57249>>57248>did u kno sum ppl dun really Blive their SO is not the most attactive person evr>da truth hurts thass mean>aww sowee
Phew what a trip, thought I was on penguin club for a sec
That's not cute, that's like… People who bathe and aren't disgusting munters with no manners.
FWIW I don't treat retarded people, old senile folk who shit themselves, neckbeards, PUAs, frat guys, 'non-binaries' and trannies well either. If they're fat, it depends how fat. If they're spoilt, entitled cunts I try to piss them off as much as I can on purpose, like serving everyone else before them and spitting in their drink.
I used to be a pushover when I was younger and people like that would always come up to me and bother me because of their own insecurities, or if there was something wrong with them I tried to be polite even though it wasn't my job and I wasn't their handler.
I don't think that has much to do with physical appearance in the sense of facial features, just common courtesy and situational awareness.
>>57795> It's also depressingly highlighted how "invisible" middle aged women are and how in workplaces they are treated more harshly than younger women by men.
That's what I noticed too but it's unfair because you can't fight time. You can look good for your age. Regardless, others will still have your age in mind and treat you accordingly.
Old men are at least appreciated for their experience and work. You can be a good worker as a woman but your appearance will always matter more. I'm glad I'm slowly shifting all of my work online. I want to grow old alone and gracefully before I get discarded like an old useless mop.
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22 with the wisdom of a 15 year old. Not sure if you can't use the imageboard or if you're implying we're the same person, but pretty much every restaurant makes fries - even the fancy ones unless you live in bumfuck Kansas or Siberia. Good on you for having such a giant ego that you think spitting in asshole's food is for "weirdos" and only new people or teens who work in fast food serve fries.
With your nasty attitude, this must've happened to you before which is why you keep sticking your thumb up your ass and trying to put on a holier-than-thou attitude by calling Anon a weirdo. Sorry not everyone is like you.
Not sure why everyone is getting asshurt by what>>57811
said. I didn't pick up any nasty attitude or holier-than-thou attitude from their post personally. As far as being above serving fries now, anon probably meant that she graduated college so is over that part of her life now sheesh.
please don't lump me in with >>57812
, spitting in peoples' food is most certainly "for weirdos" lmao.
Yes and no, I'm sure I'd get treated better by strangers and whatnot but I feel like my confidence would be the same - even if someone is "perfect" they still have things about themselves that they shit on.
On a side note I struggle with not being able to tell if im cute/attractive. As a teenager I was fuck ugly, so I got treated like an ugly girl by my peers which kinda fucked with my head on how I feel about myself/my looks. Now at 20 I've definitely gotten more attractive and figured myself out style/hair/skin/body wise but I still can't tell if I'm objectively up there on the scale. I never get hit on irl (but that could be because I mainly only go out with my boyfriend). I have an angular face and feel like babyfaces being "in" is making it all the worse. BF/friends/family/the occasional stranger compliment my looks - but it all just feels fake tbh.
Also, if anyone is obsessed with how they look/curious http://anaface.com/ https://www.prettyscale.com/
use mathematics to determine how attractive you are (obviously not 100% accurate because of how cameras work, but still interesting).
sage for blogpost and kinda ot
Got this for Rihanna
Forehead too big
Wide interocular distance
Nose too wide for face
Mouth too small for nose
Bad face symmetry
This is bullshit.
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LMAOOO>tfw I'm mathematically uglier than steve buscemi
I did mean I was done graduating college and that its behind me LEL I love when people on here get mad that others don't support the nasty shit they do so they purposely pick at your post to try to change the subject and discredit the fact that you're calling them out on being a creep.>>57812
HOLY SHIT, I'm not even going to entertain this. You spit in people's food. You're clearly a petulant child yourself. Get help anon. I don't dare about your rant. I was a waitress for seven years.
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wish i could relate to all these replies about being cute when you were younger, but i can't. i was always an ugly kid and growing up with an untreated mental illness and incompetent parents made me completely neglect my physical health for almost my entire teen years and so naturally i never had any respect from anyone my age because of my looks. if you're shy and pretty people tend to think the best of you, but if you're shy and ugly you become a target if your existence is even acknowledged.
when i turned 16 and actually started making friends and caring about myself, i lost weight and for a very brief period felt like a normal girl. it was weird having complete strangers talk to me out of nowhere in public and have men smile at me when i looked at them and when kids my age would actually start conversation with me. my eating habits became extremely restrictive and spiraled out of control when depression and general mental subhumaness caught up to me, and putting weight back on made me realize how much the world cares about how pretty you are. it's soul-crushing, honestly. it's not like it means anything when you're experiencing it because of ulterior motives but it makes you feel so different. i don't feel like i ever deserve to be treated like that again, though, honestly. i naturally have a shit body (short legs, broad shoulders and chest, man jaw) and the only way i look remotely respectable is if i'm skinny as fuck, which i'm not. being a fatty makes me feel like all the rudeness i get is deserved tbqh.
saging for blogging.