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Townhall is scheduled for May 22nd, GMT 2PM.

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No. 57204

As a women I think too much of our self worth is placed on how attractive we are. I'm not bitter in any sense of the term but I do recognize how much easier things would be.

People would treat me with more kindness, I would be grabbing the attention better quality guys, and, I'm sure my social skills would be less of a problem.

its just interesting to think of how things could be different

No. 57206

>People would treat me with more kindness, I would be grabbing the attention better quality guys, and, I'm sure my social skills would be less of a problem

Looks do play a role in how you're treated but you can achieve all that without being cute(er).

You know, if you want to be treated kinder, be kind, if you want the attention of cute guys, speak up and work on your social skills.

sage for being captain obvious

No. 57208

>>57204
All that has more to do with confidence than looks. I know piss ugly girls who act confident and have boyfriends/lots of friends because they're confident. One of them is also stupid to boot yet she's not insecure about that either.

Honestly from what I've observed even sort of pretty girls who are kind but quiet, socially awkward homebodies tend to get treated worse because they don't 'own' their personality. They either get talked over and ignored or shit on by meaner girls who think they have to be tough in order to be successful and well-respected.

No. 57217

yes, 100%. not only would i FEEL more confident in my abilities and my place in the world, but i think i'd benefit way more in the real world/school/career. i worry constantly about my appearance and whether or not people are trying to undermine me because i'm "ugly". but i'm engaged to the sweetest, hottest man alive that's as obsessed with me as i am with him, and he treats me like a literal princess anyways, so it's comforting to know that even if you're not crazy hot, you can still find someone way out of your league that loves being with you and is always in your corner, even if they're not always the easiest to find.

No. 57218

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>>57217
If you don't mind elaborating,In what way dose he treat you like a princess?

No. 57220

If I was always cuter, it would've made my life very different and better I'm sure (though I don't know if I'd be a better person). At this point in my life though, even if I magically got really cute it wouldn't make much of a difference. Not only do I have a lot of reasons for not wanting/not being comfortable in a relationship, I don't really interact with men often and don't put myself out there so I wouldn't be meeting more of them anyway. Maybe I'd get approached by strangers more but somehow I doubt they'd conveniently be right for me.

Sometimes I wonder why I want to be more attractive and I realize I don't really want it for my own personal gain, it's not like I want a male model for a boyfriend and I don't want to improve my ability to gold dig or get attention or special treatment. I feel like society has brainwashed me into wanting to be more attractive for other people's benefit. They want girls to be pretty, so I feel like I should be prettier, even though I wouldn't get much out of it personally.

No. 57221

>>57218
showers me with affection, only cares to be around me, never disrespects me, is just very considerate about everything, in every part of our lives. he's happy to support me fully – financially and emotionally. he prefers that i not work and doesn't resent me if i don't, doesn't mind paying for schooling, etc. basically, whatever i want/prefer, comes first, and not in a begrudging, resentful way, the way most men seem to act when doing things that please their partners. he just likes taking care of me and likes making me happy. he doesn't feel obligated – he just likes feeling like i'm his responsibility. i try to make decisions equally and balance our relationship out, to make sure his needs/wants are met, but he always prefers to do what makes me happiest. i'm his number 1 priority.

i've seen a lot of guys that act pretty nice, but still degrade women, especially sexually, which, imo, cheapens the relationship. he doesn't expect anything of me sexually, either, unlike many men seem to. he's a very sensitive soul. we've been together for 5 years, and friends since we were teens, and we're still crazy about each other.

the financial part isn't very important and i never expected/went into the relationship with the expectation of being "taken care of", but i rarely see "traditional" relationships where there isn't considerable resentment present.

sorry for the blogpost, i wanted to explain in depth, because i hear a lot of women talking about their relationships in a positive light, when frankly, their relationships are dysfunctional and dehumanising, especially on a sexual level – like being treated well in other facets of their lives needs to be balanced by the expectation of sex/being degraded in the bedroom.

No. 57227

When I was in my teens, I was thin and pretty (although I didn't realise it at the time). I had long, thick hair, good facial bone structure, clear skin with no makeup needed, a lovely hourglass figure and big doe eyes. I look back on photos of myself and I find it shocking I didn't realise how cute I was. I also noticed that strangers (particularly men) would be unusually nice to me; they'd insist I skip them I'm the queue, let me first onto public transport/amusement rides/elevators, I'd be given little extras from waiters or barmen when I ordered, they used to give me a few cents if they saw me struggling to search for money in my purse, they'd apologise if they bumped into me/stood on my foot ("God, are you okay? I'm so sorry! I'm such a dick!"), I got flirted with a lot whenever I went out…

But the whole time I was struggling from depression and slowly my hair got thinner, my skin got bad and I gained weight from binge eating. Over the last few years I noticed that all those "nice" gestures magically disseapeared and now men are incredibly rude to me in public, they get really impatient with me, attempt to skip me in queues, bump into me and pretend nothing happened and just downright ignore me a lot of the time. Even though I find this kind of behaviour fucking disgusting, I'm ngl I miss being thin and pretty. I miss knowing I was desirable to men, I miss getting winks from cute waiters, I miss guys really making my day by offering me a seat or helping me pay for something, I miss being able to waltz into a store and buy w.e I wanted in it without trying it on and looking gorgeous in it, I miss getting compliments from friends or drunk girls in bathrooms. Ugh I just want it all back even though I knew it was just to get in my underage pants.

I guess the moral of my story was that even when I was thin and cute, I didn't appreciate it and I had a lot of mental problems. When I gained weight and got ugly I realised that men had ulterior motives and they weren't being nice to me out of the goodness of their hearts. You can't really win either way.

No. 57230

>>57221

and he makes you feel special even though you're not the cutest or sexiest woman he's ever seen?

No. 57231

>>57227
I agree to your account.

As a teenager, I was so uncomfortable in my body and a perfectionist to a crippling degree. My self esteem was low, but not pliable by others, so I was completely clueless to advances and compliments.

When men were teasing me and hardcore flirting with me, my mind was so warped I thought they were belittling me and it fueled my self loathing. This cycle started at 13 all the way until I was 19 and became depressed.

I had an eating disorder because I went through puberty early and had an hourglass figure. This isn't humblebrag, this is just me finally seeing through my own delusions after years of degrading myself. To me, my waist being extremely small proportioned to the rest of my body made me look like a freak and because boys my age were behind me, I felt so fat and uncomfortable. I was miserable. I couldn't imagine anyone liking me.

Now I'm just a normal mid-20s girl, trying to get that same glow back that I lost to years of starving and neglecting myself out of misery and unhappiness. I'm trying to take care of my thin teeth, thicken my hair, get good skin back, little by little become more comfortable dressing and making up again without being scared and overwhelmed and overly conscious. And I'm doing okay, but when I look back and see how good I looked as a teenager it feels WASTED. So much potential lol and all I did was cry and puke and starve.

No. 57232

People are nicer to you when you're pretty, but they respect you less. I feel like when you're average looking, or even kind of ugly, people who befriend you and give you a chance are doing it because care about you more as a person.

But when you're pretty people just throw themselves at you because they want to fuck/date. You always have to wonder if someone is with you because they care about you, or if it's just because hey want some arm candy and a nice looking smash piece.

No. 57233

>>57231
It pained me a little reading all of that since it's so close to my own experience but I'm so glad you're doing better, anon! <3

No. 57234

>>57230
yes, always. he is, hands down, the most attractive man i've ever seen and i only have eyes for him. i suppose he COULD genuinely feel the same way about me, too, but i doubt it.

No. 57236

>>57234

I've noticed more commonly girls will feel this about their boyfriends but that boyfriends tend to not see their partner as the most literally attractive, but the apple of their eye because they love you (And then they secretly ogle prettier women and don't say it to spare our feelings)

No. 57244

These cute-but-self-hating-teen comments are so painful to read, especially because I know that I (and probably most of you) are still cute, but now not only do we have those issues but also a past, cuter (or thinner) self to compare ourselves to.
I'm still young, I still get "pretty girl treatment", I'm not as thin but I'm nowhere near chubby either, and I know I should enjoy it but I still fucking can't.
Being cute isn't worth shit if you still hate yourself

>>57236
Why would you say such a mean thing, anon?

No. 57246

>>57244

How is it mean when it's usually the truth?

I've heard plenty of boyfriends and boyfriends of friends say this

No. 57248

>>57246
cus the truth hurts so sometimes you shouldn't tell it

No. 57249

>>57248

Aww anon, I'm really sorry ;-; maybe I shouldn't have after all

but everyone seemed to be really honest here so I did

anyway, I agree with you, I'm 23 and I envy my teenage self and I shouldn't. At 17 I starved myself until I was stick thin and while I feel like I've ruined my body since from dyeing my hair too much and the weight I've gained, I know it's wrong and really we should just feel cute in ourselves so I agree with you

Even when I was at my thinnest and prettiest I felt anything but and I was still insecure. You could become a supermodel and still probably have that remaining insecurity

No. 57250

I've always been pretty weird-looking. I think I'd be a little happier if I were cute, or at least a little more conventional-looking. I wouldn't mind looking average, I just think my face stands out in a bad way.

No. 57251

Only thing that would really differ would be I would feel more confident
I already have a long term relationship and enough good friends without being beautiful

No. 57252

I think the best thing you can do to help your outward perception to others is improve your confidence and love yourself. I was a skinny teen and "cute" and gained a lot of weight near the end of highschool and all I did was hate myself, cry, complain, force myself into shitty diets that made no difference, and wallowed in self pity.

I started practicing self love even though I was fat (by lolcow standards) and I ended up losing some weight and I look better than I did before, just because I'm thinking positively about myself and not finding features not nitpick over.

It's important to take breaks from sites like lolcow, because they can aggravate your self hatred and amplify your perceived flaws.

No. 57253

idk if this is exactly answering your question, but I have discussed this in sense of which "kind" of attractive you are.

example: girl in my scene gets shitloads of attention. She's cute, but I am too, but thing is…I'm really bawdy and swear a lot, and she's more kawaii uwu cute than I am. She even talks cute, but it's more how she talks online than irl, because I've met her. She's got this whole cute personality thing going on.

So basically I feel like I'd get more attention if I were more cutesy Zooey Deschanel attractive rather than mannish, but I don't want to be someone else. Dunno if anyone else feels the same.

sage for slight OT

No. 57254

>>57253
I can see that. It seems like most guys find it off putting when a woman swears a lot, drinks a lot, has a crude sense of humor etc. They either just think of them as a friend or are uncomfortable enough to not want to hang out with them.

No. 57256

>>57253
I found that with age, my not trying to play the cute angle earned me a lot more respect, and people trust what they call my sincerity. They crushed on the cutesy types, but they fall for women like us. It sounds ver self gratulatory, i'm not trying to come off like that. What I'm trying to say is, keep doing you, it will benefit you greatly later on in life! Be you anon.

No. 57257

kek ofc it would. Anyone saying otherwise is just delusional. Life is better if you're attractive, especially if you're a woman.

No. 57259

>>57254
>>57256

I'm definitely doing me, and it did net me a pretty amazing guy. I seem to attract guys because I think the contrast between my looks (I've got wide eyes) and my personality is somehow appealing, but ofc it's usually people into tomboys or blunt women, which is funny because my dress style isn't overly tomboyish all the time. I'm still kinda surprised when people who see me being like that call me cute, though, just considering things. I guess that's talking looks/passion over "you say fuck every twenty seconds."

I intimidate a lot of people, but oh well, I prefer that to people thinking they can patronize me if I'd act "cute." Especially since I'm in STEM.

So you can get away with being less attractive if you play your cards right, but it seems to depend on the hand you have or play.

No. 57262

Man, a lot of the posts so far are hitting far too close to home.

Like a couple of other anons, I was thin and cute (with great, clear, no effort skin) for a very brief moment in my teens, and promptly went to shit because my ED got out of control and went the opposite end of the spectrum. I'm feeling a lot better but thinking about how elated I was about seeing myself disappear makes me nostalgic, in the most fucked up way.

I've also got some racial issues over my features, too. I'm white/asian, and my features did not come out flattering. I've got the world's broadest nose and small, deep set eyes, set on an extremely broad, square jawline. There's been afternoons where all I do is play with Meitu or even Photoshop to see how I can improve my face. But there's no way to fix my face unless I get cosmetic surgery and redo everything from the ground up. Then my body is a whole other mess as well. Wide body, that never looks good above an extremely low weight.

I'm really jealous of the other, similarly biracial girls I see who do fit that ideal Eurasian look. They're like designer hybrid dogs while I'm some mangy mutt nobody wants to adopt from a shelter.

I genuinely think that being pretty would have lightened my mental workload. A lot of my depression that's stalled me from doing anything from my life was due to a fixation on my looks. I put off going to college partially because I was frightened by going outside due to how fat and ugly I perceived myself.

Even my personality can't save me because my mental health has completely neutered any charisma or likability I've ever had.

Sorry for the intense blogging. Being ugly and lonely is upsetting.

No. 57263

>>57262
its not mentally healthy to fixate on your looks like that anon. sometimes I have concerns and struggles and I find myself going to the mirror and telling myself I'm ugly or finding features that are screwy on me and it doesn't help me, it just has me going back to the mirror every 30 minutes for another self-hatred session until something distracts me long enough to make me forget. Never does anything good for me. I find I feel better about my looks when I'm not always staring at myself looking for shit to hate myself for.

No. 57265

>>57262
I'm eurasian too and I feel you so much, I feel like I got the worst facial feature combination from my parents who are both highly attractive. The worst is my skintone, it's just so.. sallow and weird. Eugh. Thankfully I've come to accept the way I look.

No. 57267

I have the same issue as most of the other anons here, but I wasn't pretty in my youth.

I was thinner, but I had terrible acne. I was always trying to hide my pear shape with long jackets and loose shirts and started eating less in hopes that it would make my hips smaller. My scalp is permanently damaged because of chemical burns I got when I was three so I have massive bald spots that I hid in high school because my mom continued to relax it until she felt I was old enough to care for my own. I also have a few other flaws that can't really be helped that stayed with me till now

But I've gotten worse. I wasn't attractive in my teens, but I wasn't THIS bad. At least I looked young and thin despite being unnattractive, but now I don't even have that. People were still nice to me because I theyd think I was shy and kind and I didn't really get any compliments other than about how thin I was. People talked to me even though I never went out of my way to talk to them, or even if I actively avoided people. I even had a few short-lived relationships.

Now I've put on weight. Not quite obese, but obviously pretty chubby. It seems to draw more attention to my unattractive features and I probably look sloppy or sick because I'm always wearing a scarf because my natural hair doesn't cover my bald spots. I've noticed that people aren't as accepting of me now that I'm in college.

It might just be my depleted confidence speaking, but that in itself is proof that being attractive helps. I'm still awkward, but it's been met with hostility lately. It's not 'cute' anymore now that I'm some unfortunate looking woman. I notice people have been making fun of me for little things more often, too. Like not too long ago, a couple of guys on campus were walking towards me, but I didn't notice, so when I looked up, I jumped and immediately moved out of the way. It was apparently hilarious and they went on to mock me, mocking my behavior right there in full view of others, and said something along the lines of 'what the fuck was that'

People, even up to my senior year in high school which was only a year ago, found that kind of behavior cute and would go out of their way to frighten me because I'd yelp or jump and they'd find it adorable. I mean, I hated it and wished it would stop, but now that I look back on it, it's almost preferable to not being liked at all.

I luckily have a girlfriend who's been with me since high school and I love her to death, but she's obviously much more attractive than I am and people treat her so kindly and almost tend to flock to her. Granted, she's much more outgoing than I am, but she knows that she's very attractive to people and I've seen her use it to her advantage. With cops, small business owners, random people she draws in. It feels a little bad because we're always together and I feel repulsive next to her. I feel guilty because we can't be a cute couple together and I worry she'll find someone just the same as I am, but attractive and eventually leave me for her.

I feel like most of my issues, like self-esteem and lack of confidence, wouldn't be so crippling if I were attractive. People tend to judge by appearance first and foremost, even if they're not really trying to, so I think attractiveness plays a significant role in social interactions

No. 57268

Not necessarily. First impressions are important, but a genuine smile even if you're ugly is better than just being cute.

Besides, their are so many kinds of "cute" out there. I think most people can be attractive if they find a style that suits them. So many women try to force themselves to look a certain way when it just doesn't work for them.

No. 57270

I have the opposite experience than you guys.

I've been chubby my whole life. I am usually 20-25 pounds overweight.

One day I decided to lose weight so I went on a stupid 300-500 calorie per day diet paired with 1 hour of exercise. I ended up losing 26 pounds in a month. My weight was normal but I could stand to lose more.

I used to get some male attention because of my large breasts and shapely figure. However the male attention dwindled down for some reason. I felt invisible and somewhat ignored. While my body did get more curvy my breast were a normal size and my ass was getting smaller.

Of course my dumbass gained weight (and then some) but now I'm at 26 pounds overweight again. I get a lot of men and women being nice and talkative with me because I actually groom myself this time around. However if I get less attention with weight loss again I might as well shoot my brains out

No. 57271

>>57267
Maybe it's just your vibe. I don't think it's true for all women though. I used to be bullied in middle school and elementary and it got progressively less worse in high school. Now I'm in college men approach me and I'm not used to it. I think I have gotten more attractive as I aged.

No. 57272

>>57270
Well sometimes men are less likely to approach women are who are very attractive because they think they have less of a chance with them. "Very attractive" meaning they obviously puts a lot of care in their appearance etc, high maintenance if you will.
It could be that, or maybe your body is just more attractive at a higher weight.

No. 57273

>Honestly from what I've observed even sort of pretty girls who are kind but quiet, socially awkward homebodies tend to get treated worse because they don't 'own' their personality. They either get talked over and ignored or shit on by meaner girls who think they have to be tough in order to be successful and well-respected.

You just described me. It's fucking shit. I don't want to have to be confident in order to be treated better… I think that my personality is just NON-confident, like that's just me. Ugh. Why do we live in a society where confidence is so much more glorified than being quiet/humble.

No. 57274

>>57273
Sorry I meant to reply to >>57208

No. 57275

>>57273
Anon, it's not necessarily about being confident/humble. To be a likeable person well… you have to be a likeable person. You have to be nice and talk to and be interested in other people, you can't rely on other people to do all the work.

No. 57277

>>57275
>you can't rely on other people to do all the work
Exactly. You can't expect to be admired for being meek and quiet. If you're quiet, how do you expect people to find you "humble"? People don't want to be around quiet. There's nothing wrong with being quiet, but socially, that's just how it is. You can't be closed off and expect people to like you just for being "cute." They want engaging and it's perfectly normal to want to be around confident people? Wtf.

No. 57278

>>57254
Not true at all.
I thought that for a long time. I tried so hard to be something I wasn't because I thought having a masculine personality had me doomed. It was impossible for me to play pretend, though. I'm not dainty.
I'm a tiny girl but I've always had a very big personality, very blunt and cold, sarcastic, I don't smile unless I'm genuine, I don't feel like I owe people anything and vice versa. I'm not an ass to strangers or anything, I'm still respectful, I just measure situations how I see fit.

And although I often feel like I'm patronized like a sixth grader from looks alone, once people interact with me or pick up on my aura/presence they just tend to be intimidated. Doesn't matter that I'm small. I hated myself for this for a long time but I wouldn't trade it for anything now.

I met my best friend and partner and he loves who I am, and we have SO much fun because I can be myself. I'd rather be the unapologetic goofy bitch I am than force myself into a shape that doesn't fit for some superficial relationship.

I don't need men to flirt with me. They talk to me like I'm one of the guys (kind of San "ugh" thing I know) but I'm okay with that. I get honesty from them. They joke with me, and I prefer them seeing me as a friend rather than a sex object.

Here's why most men treat you like a friend when you're like this: they know they can't pull the wool over your eyes. You're too sharp for them. They can't use sweet nothings on you and that intimidates them. If they're looking for something easy (think fast food) they don't want to put in the effort or honesty your personality requires. Think of it as weeding out the week and keeping you open for someone you're actually compatible with.

Disclaimer just because I'm this way doesn't mean I think other girls have to be or that I'm better.

No. 57283

>>57272
I'd say I get more attention now that I actually groom myself a lot more unlike 2 years ago when that happened so that could be it.

Either way I'll see more pounds later :D

No. 57288

I think we've got too many people confusing average with cute

No. 57294

>>57288
It's a completely subjective topic so this is a pointless opinion lol

No. 57302

I get told I'm cute a lot but I am still a socially retarded piece of shit with 0% confidence and it's just a matter of time before I get fat and ugly because I eat shit food to deal with loneliness and depression.

No. 57304

I've always been below average looking but my sister is pretty good looking - I remember going shopping with her and store employees would ask if she was interested in submitting an application or being hired on the spot. Nothing like that has ever happened to me.

Also I hate being interested in stuff like egl and other j fashion when I'm just too ugly to pull it off. I've bought some brand but never wear it outside of the house, if I had a nicer face or more skill in makeup I'd probably go to meets.

No. 57339

Eh, I feel like white girls can get more with being plain and they'd still be rated higher if they look quirky and approachable. Or maybe it's because most of the internet is white and they prefer their own women. I find people of my race most attractive and I have to go on websites like instagram and twitter where most of them are at to find people with the similar standards of beauty I have.

I don't even know why I come on sites like reddit or imageboards anymore. It's so culturally foreign tbh

No. 57340

I've always been extremely insecure but I get told I'm cute a lot, I used to not take care of myself very well and looked like the girl from ringu but after adopting a skincare routine, toning my body and y'know actually showering people (specially men) do treat me a LOT better.

No. 57341

>>57339
Actually y'know, I was on a forum full of black dudes (pretty rare) and i noticed they were overrating average looking black women like pretty much every dude on the internet does with white women. It's probably just b/c most guys on places like this are either white or have a strong eurocentric ideal so they're going to tend to find most decent looking white girls attractive

No. 57342

>>57277
>People don't want to be around quiet. There's nothing wrong with being quiet, but socially, that's just how it is

I mean, when I say quiet I mean still willing to engage in and even start conversation but just not … idk, super out there? I just don't think it's fair to say everyone has to be super engaging, because for some people it's just not going to happen until they get to know you better (which takes a bit of time)
But that doesn't make them any less likable?

I don't know, I don't mind other quiet people at all, in fact I love them. But maybe that's just because I'm that way myself. Meh

No. 57343

>>57341
>>57339

It's kind of like how some guys think Russian and Swedish girls are all 10/10's, and because of their bias even if they meet a 5/10 from one of these countries they will rate the girls 10/10's.

Or how some weebs and koreaboos will act like all Japanese and Korean guys look like actors and models and settle for 4/10's just because they are ~So Kpop living anime desu~

No. 57346

>>57339
The standards are definitely lower for white women, but that's because the standard for beauty IS being white.
So if you're a black women for example you're shit out of luck unless you have a weave and "white" features. Meanwhile white women are worshipped if they have features more typically associated with black women, like larger lips or a very curvy figure. I don't really understand it.

No. 57348

>>57346
I thought the standard of beauty was shifting to a more exotic ethnic look in general.

Then again on the internet, particularly on sites like this, white girls are most favored with pale east asians second place. Everyone else is dead last

No. 57352

>>57348
They are, but it's like there's quota on the amount of exotic features you are allowed to have or something.
If Kim Kardashian had dark skin, she would be a nobody I guarantee it. The only dark skinned women who are considered pretty have typically white features other than their skintone really.

No. 57354

>>57352
What are "white features" to you? Typical anglo saxon features are round eyes, thin lips, hollow or low cheeks, pointed nose, ect. White beauty standards are a impish/fae/cherub girl look. Really different from the black women considered attractive IMO

No. 57355

>>57354
I think anon was thinking the whole blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skin, tall nose idea.

No. 57358

>>57342
No no I get it, I adore many quiet people because often when they open up its very sweet and satisfying.

But like, say, in a work setting, it's best to take initiative for yourself and naturally people gravitate towards sociable people because they take minimal effort.

No. 57360

>>57339
>most of the internet is white and they prefer their own women.

It's common sense to prefer your own people. You never said what skin tone or race you belong to but I'm 100% sure that a guy from your own race or whatever would find you most attractive.

As for most of the internet being white that's just a product of living in a western civilization, and seeing as we are speaking English you're probably part of one.

Even then you can find someone to be attracted to you its just statistics. Though that requires effort and I doubt any of us are outgoing enough to find it.

No. 57361

>>57358
This, quiet people are nice if you're the one who's quiet - there's nothing wrong with you, but it gives people the wrong impression and you make yourself very hard to talk to sometimes. By being quiet you effectively shut yourself off from the rest of society so of course people start to think you're haughty and arrogant or autistic, or they just assume you're shy and don't want to scare you because shy people usually look in pain or uncomfortable when they're being talked to.

I used to consider myself a quiet, shy wallflower. I'm from a Western European country where people tend to be very physical - greeting each other with kisses and hugs, frequent touching, standing very close etc. For our standards, I was considered quiet because I speak quietly and take a long time to open up to people (but do get attached easily anyway). That was all well and good because others could help me out and fill in the awkward silences.

Then I went on student exchange to Finland. Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the Apostles strike me down, never again. I was a social butterfly compared to most people there, most people looked at me as if I was some alien and I hated the attention because I never knew if it was positive or not, although it never felt positive to me.

There is no small talk there. As in, it just doesn't exist. When you talk to someone they are either kinda flustered but nice or full sperg mode with an impenetrable poker face and one-word replies. Idk, maybe their autism is so strong that those people learn to communicate via telepathy from a young age or something and I'm very clearly an inferior being. If you've ever seen that episode of Father Ted with Fr Stone the quiet priest, that's what it felt like. Like talking to a wall. Nay, even a wall would make more facial expressions than that. Every person I approached looked irritated and/or mildly disgusted for being approached, if indeed they made any facial expressions at all.

I asked a classmate if they wanted to accompany me to a day trip to Estonia and they freaked, said they were busy then went without me. I went to a store to try on a pair of glasses and the male clerk's hands were literally shaking. I'm fairly small so I can't be that intimidating. Finally I stopped talking to anyone and just spent the rest of my year doing things by myself in silence. People just ignored me. I became depressed and self-conscious.

I came back home and everything was back to normal. People made small talk and hugged me again, everything was okay.

That's what it feels like when you're alone with a quiet person. You have to do all the hard work and eventually you just run out of things to talk about since the other person doesn't want to keep a conversation going. Which feels uncomfortable and kinda hurts because people feel like you're rejecting them.

No. 57369

I'm a pretty ugly girl. I'm not the ugliest ever like deformed but I'm not traditionally attractive. Big nose, small lips, small eyes, huge forehead, bad hairline.

I am in the card playing/loser community and sometimes I've caught myself wishing I was just an ugly guy so that I could be treated nicer. I feel like as an ugly girl I'm treated as both an outsider to "male" hobbies (also in STEM field) but also ignored because I'm ugly.

I maintain my skin and my body but that cannot fix my physical facial ugliness. I'm thinking of getting a hairline surgery only to her "feminize" my looks more.

No. 57372

>>57369
you are too real

sending my love your way <3

No. 57375

>>57372

thank you anon <3

No. 57379

>>57361
I'm Finnish and this made me laugh because it's so true. My bf is from another country and I've seen people who work at shops and restaurants in cold sweat having to serve him in English.

No. 57381

>>57369
God, that's so true. I could pull a semi-cutie card when I was younger with some guys with weird tastes but now it's fucking over and nobody want me. I try to play the smart card but no-one want to see me as a peer.
It fucking sucks.

No. 57384

Sometimes, I force dudebros 5 years younger in my computer science course to talk to me.
It's hilarious. They clearly don't want to because I'm a woman AND not cute. Most of the time, they answer while not looking at me like I'm some disembodied voice. It used to kinda bother me but now, I just push it and enjoy it.

No. 57395

For me, being cute would have definetly changed my life a lot. I have super low self esteem and anxiety, constantly comparing myself to other girls. Because of that o somehow keep comfort eating and therefore get even uglier.
My mother is constantly praising other girls for their beauty meanwhile i have never in my whole life been called pretty before…
Now i've sunk to the new low of being jealous of my 12 yo sisters body and that at the age of 21…

No. 57399

Mo. I used to be over 200lbs. I'm 130 now and dress well and take care of myself. People tell me I am beautiful often. But it doesn't mean shit to me. It matters how you feel about yourself, however cliche that sounds. I still feel and act like I am overweight and I hate how I look. I don't care what other people think of me

No. 57400

>>57399
Haha no*
I actually meant to type "moo"

No. 57401

File: 1491001732917.png (151.23 KB, 341x314, 1471321608157.png)

>>57361
Finland sounds like the perfect country for me.

No. 57403

>>57379
Is everyone not confident in their English skills or something? I always assumed most younger (under 40) Finns were fluent.

No. 57410

>>57360
Yes you're right but people get caught up with that and grow insecurities because of it so putting it in mind helps.

Hispanics and black guys find me highly attractive and while white guys do too, it's obvious the attraction is less romantic/emotional and more sexual/less serious. I suppose that's normal.

No. 57412

>>57403
Not really, that's a meme perpetrated by Finns themselves. Most of them do speak okay English but usually with really heavy accents and they often can't understand what you're trying to tell them unless you really dumb it down. A few speak it really well, some don't speak it at all (or don't want to). Hasn't been that different from anywhere else really, ime. The only difference is they're willing to try whereas, say, the French think they're embarrassing themselves and just refuse to speak English even if they do know it for fear of sounding dumb.

No. 57419

>>57412
Well, the fact that they're willing to try, I think that's nice.

No. 57420

>>57412
The Finnish accent sounds better than the French accent to me, anyway. French sounds like they have marbles in their mouth.

No. 57424

>>57419
I do agree, they're overall nice people and aren't afraid to make fun of themselves. Few are rude, they've just got country-wide assburgers.
>>57420
Idk I like the French accent (and the French). The Finnish accent sounds funny to me, but I don't hate it - it's just easier for me to explain things to the frogs, even if I do get a response in French only.

No. 57425

>>57420
English courses in France aren't good, tbh. Had to add years of watching series/movies and working by myself to get to a somewhat fluent english.
I still have that shit accent.

No. 57426

>>57425
I'm sure it's cute, anon. And way better than the Quebecois accent.

No. 57429

Can confirm, it's cute. And way better than the Quebecois accent.

But I still try to encourage good pronunciation. Good enough to at least avoid misunderstandings, anyway.

No. 57432

>>57425
As bad as your English education might be, it can't be worse than the American system.

No. 57448

i was considered cute and a "catch" a few years ago before i gained like 4 stone lol now i'm kind of gross. my life would def be better if I was as "cute" as I was back then

No. 57547

>>57395
That's rough anon, I hope things get better <3

No. 57594

I get treated like average-pretty, but I don't think I'm conventionally pretty (in my face, anyways). I have a roman nose with a hump, small mouth, and a high forehead but I'm learning to love those, if anything, I like how they stand out compared to the usual button nose/plump lips/small forehead ideal. I think my hair and body are my best features though, maybe they're why I get treated like I'm average-attractive when my face isnt'. Hm…

No. 57599

>>57594
To be fair, most of the 'attractiveness' comes from things other than your face. Hair cut, colour, clothes, demeanour, makeup all matter.

No. 57613

I'm so jealous of all the people in this thread who miss their more attractive days. I've always been an uggo and have no idea what it's like to be pretty. I'm working on improving my appearence but I guess since I'm already in my 20s I'll always look subpar.

No. 57616

Man, I'm just starting to think you can be just cute and that's it. What's the point of being extra stunning if the same guy who's on your level (wealthy and attractive) could go for the cute/plain girl too? I've seen this happen too many times IRL. I don't think girls should stress about being the prettiest girl in the room, just their own kind of pretty.

No. 57617

>>57616
Idk, being my own kind of pretty is exactly the issue for me. I just don't like some parts of myself and will never grow to like them. I've hated my nose pretty much since it started looking the way it does now. I also hated the 'beauty marks' on my face until I had them removed, and I couldn't be happier. Getting my nose fixed soon too.

I don't even pay attention to other girls in the room unless we're talking and they're really sweet, or they're wearing something pretty, it's more the realisation that I could look that much better by just changing this one thing about myself that gets me. Which is fine if you have thinner lips or dark circles, but you can't change your bone structure.

No. 57618

>>57616

>I've seen this happen too many times IRL.


No you haven't.

No. 57619

>>57618
Who are you?

No. 57621

>>57616

>one time my 20k a year making 350 pound buddy went after a 6/10 average sized girl instead of the usual 8/10 skinny girl. man you girls have it so easy! i think he should have held out, hey man, sometimes us "chubby" guys get lonely and settle for a practice gf, aren't you lucky that happens?


Fuck off penisfaggot

No. 57624

>>57621
>maybe you could try having a personality and you could seem more attractive
>REE REE REE

No. 57629

>>57624

>just B urself!

>but also skinny, 8/10, and not boring the like rest of your gender

Fuck off penisfaggot

No. 57630

>>57629
>>57624
>>57621
>>57618
All of y'all need to fuck outta here. We were having a perfectly civil thread. Shoo.

No. 57635

I'm turning into a reverse incel where it's not that I blame the world for not catering towards me in spite of how ugly I am inside and out, but that I'm doing a disservice to other people by existing and not having the decency of being cute.

No. 57652

>>57547
Thank you!

No. 57654

>>57635
Right? It seems like being a woman and not being cute is the biggest crime.

No. 57657

>>57621
You guys are weird and reaching. I don't know why people are so paranoid and sensitive on the internet these days.

No. 57662

>>57657
Have you seen some of the other threads here anon?

I completely agree with you, but one of the disadvantageous that come with the advantage of an anonymous image board is it attracts a lot of angry and depressed people (and being anonymous gives a place to be way more honest than even a forum where people can track your posting history).

Although
>>57635
>>57654
are definitely speaking the truth, unfortunately. I get treated a lot better when I take care of my appearance, and when I let my skin go (broke out), stopped wearing makeup or even brushing hair (depression), wore shit clothes, I got treated like shit by men and women. It was a pretty big wakeup call…although I don't think you even need to be that cute probably, just put an effort into looking presentable. Some people look presentable even without washing their face/brushing hair and wearing rags. For the rest of us though, we actually have to make an effort.

No. 57734

>>57204
I think I'm considered cute to half of the male population, slightly above average. I think if I were 9/10 I'd have so much more confidence, that would be the main thing. I'd be so much better at my barista job and I'd feel so much better during sex, etc. I feel like I'd get cat called more and that would fucking suck

No. 57795

>tl;dr I treat cute people better too
I used to be very pious about how I "didn't judge a book by a cover" but it was probably just that the average student doesn't deal with many people. At work I interact with 100+ people a day, often at such a past pace that I'm tired and less likely to care how I can help people.
I started to realize I give preferential treatment to sociable and presentable people. Slobbish fat people have to be charming for me to invest in the same way, and even I might still not want to talk to them. I bend over backwards for people I'm attracted to, although if a generally attractive person turns out to be a jerk then I quickly hate them too. I can only put up with children if they're cute/clean and I tend to get angry faster at older men, people with RBF and anyone in a ~*~personality summed up with a slogan~*~ Tshirt.

I try to question my own actions/prejudice where I can even though it can be uncomfortable, but at the same time I'll laugh at anyone who claims to not judge people. It's also depressingly highlighted how "invisible" middle aged women are and how in workplaces they are treated more harshly than younger women by men. I now put more effort into self presentation and smiling a lot more.

>>57249
>>57248
>did u kno sum ppl dun really Blive their SO is not the most attactive person evr
>da truth hurts thass mean
>aww sowee
Phew what a trip, thought I was on penguin club for a sec

No. 57796

>>57795
That's not cute, that's like… People who bathe and aren't disgusting munters with no manners.

FWIW I don't treat retarded people, old senile folk who shit themselves, neckbeards, PUAs, frat guys, 'non-binaries' and trannies well either. If they're fat, it depends how fat. If they're spoilt, entitled cunts I try to piss them off as much as I can on purpose, like serving everyone else before them and spitting in their drink.

I used to be a pushover when I was younger and people like that would always come up to me and bother me because of their own insecurities, or if there was something wrong with them I tried to be polite even though it wasn't my job and I wasn't their handler.

I don't think that has much to do with physical appearance in the sense of facial features, just common courtesy and situational awareness.

No. 57798

>>57795
> It's also depressingly highlighted how "invisible" middle aged women are and how in workplaces they are treated more harshly than younger women by men.

That's what I noticed too but it's unfair because you can't fight time. You can look good for your age. Regardless, others will still have your age in mind and treat you accordingly.

Old men are at least appreciated for their experience and work. You can be a good worker as a woman but your appearance will always matter more. I'm glad I'm slowly shifting all of my work online. I want to grow old alone and gracefully before I get discarded like an old useless mop.

No. 57801

>>57796
>spitting in their drink
I was actually on board with this post until you said that. Hope someone catches you and you get fired, fuckin weirdo.

No. 57804

>>57795
I have horrible resting bitch face and this is kind of comforting to read because half the time when I go out I don't want to be bothered at all. Usually no one does and I always suspected it's because I look like I wanna kill them.

No. 57805

>>57801
Hope away, anon. Don't forget to ask for the manager next time you mouth off to me because I made you miss little Timmy's soccer practice :^)

No. 57809

>>57801
I've spit in a customer's fries before and gave her 1/4 of what she was supposed to get because she was an absolute bitch. I did this right in front of the cameras and didn't even give a fuck nor did I get fired. You never understand the frustration unless you work in the food business. Don't be rude to the person who's serving and/or making your food. What goes around comes around.

No. 57811

>>57805
….eh, I treat people in the service industry really well, and I've worked in it–when I was a teen, I'm 22 so I'm above serving fries now ;^)–but I have never thought about spitting in anyone's food. You're fucking weird man.

No. 57812

File: 1491605540545.gif (2.12 MB, 250x189, a52.gif)

>>57811
22 with the wisdom of a 15 year old. Not sure if you can't use the imageboard or if you're implying we're the same person, but pretty much every restaurant makes fries - even the fancy ones unless you live in bumfuck Kansas or Siberia. Good on you for having such a giant ego that you think spitting in asshole's food is for "weirdos" and only new people or teens who work in fast food serve fries.

With your nasty attitude, this must've happened to you before which is why you keep sticking your thumb up your ass and trying to put on a holier-than-thou attitude by calling Anon a weirdo. Sorry not everyone is like you.

No. 57813

>>57811
If you had been there, if you had seen it, I bet you would have done the same.

No. 57815

>>57811
>I treat people in the service industry really well
>I'm 22 so I'm above serving fries now

hmmmm…

No. 57816

>>57812
>>57813
>>57815
Not sure why everyone is getting asshurt by what
>>57811
said. I didn't pick up any nasty attitude or holier-than-thou attitude from their post personally. As far as being above serving fries now, anon probably meant that she graduated college so is over that part of her life now sheesh.

No. 57818

>>57816
I'm >>57815 please don't lump me in with >>57812 and >>57813, spitting in peoples' food is most certainly "for weirdos" lmao.

No. 57820

Yes and no, I'm sure I'd get treated better by strangers and whatnot but I feel like my confidence would be the same - even if someone is "perfect" they still have things about themselves that they shit on.

On a side note I struggle with not being able to tell if im cute/attractive. As a teenager I was fuck ugly, so I got treated like an ugly girl by my peers which kinda fucked with my head on how I feel about myself/my looks. Now at 20 I've definitely gotten more attractive and figured myself out style/hair/skin/body wise but I still can't tell if I'm objectively up there on the scale. I never get hit on irl (but that could be because I mainly only go out with my boyfriend). I have an angular face and feel like babyfaces being "in" is making it all the worse. BF/friends/family/the occasional stranger compliment my looks - but it all just feels fake tbh.

Also, if anyone is obsessed with how they look/curious http://anaface.com/ https://www.prettyscale.com/ and https://pinkmirror.com/blog/photo-retouch-face-attractiveness-score/ use mathematics to determine how attractive you are (obviously not 100% accurate because of how cameras work, but still interesting).

sage for blogpost and kinda ot

No. 57822

>>57820
I tried 2 pics on Prettyscale and got an 82 on one and a 58 on the other lol. Just goes to show how much difference a slight angle change and a different camera makes.

No. 57823

>>57236
Hell, I ogle chicks with my boyfriend. The only part that stings about is that I'll never have big, beautiful sweater meat. Alas.

No. 57824

>>57820

Got this for Rihanna
Prominent Features
Long face
Forehead too big
Wide interocular distance
Nose too wide for face
Mouth too small for nose
Normal chin
Bad face symmetry

Score: 57/100

This is bullshit.

No. 57828

File: 1491634775493.png (380.09 KB, 1421x972, uh...come again.png)

>>57820
LMAOOO
>tfw I'm mathematically uglier than steve buscemi

No. 57830

>>57816
I did mean I was done graduating college and that its behind me LEL I love when people on here get mad that others don't support the nasty shit they do so they purposely pick at your post to try to change the subject and discredit the fact that you're calling them out on being a creep.
>>57812
HOLY SHIT, I'm not even going to entertain this. You spit in people's food. You're clearly a petulant child yourself. Get help anon. I don't dare about your rant. I was a waitress for seven years.

No. 57831

>>57830
Also, I meant *care, not dare, obviously. But if you want to distract from your own rampant tantrum some more by pointing out my typo as well, by all means, be my guess.

No. 57832

Being pretty helps ofc. I will definitely say I've gotten jobs over other people based on my looks alone (keep in mind this is retail/hospitality stuff not real merit based stuff) but I kept jobs because I am a good worker. The looks just get you in the door.

Also, people are definitely nicer. It can make dating a little tricky (do they actually like ME or just my looks??) but nothing too huge. Anyone pretending it's ~so hard to be pretty~ is fooling themselves. If I wanted to, I could easily never work. That's something most people can't say, fretting about he stresses o life is hard and it's a million times easier when you have the thought that you'll never really have to suffer(financially, romantically) if you don't want to in the back of your head, a little safety net if you will.

It would be tough to be ugly or plain. Hell, even just average looking.

No. 57835

>>57828
I wouldn't worry about it. Comparing yourself to Steve Buscemi is an unrealistic standard of beauty.

No. 57861

>>57828
Honestly, apart from his eyes I don't really think that he's a bad looking person.

No. 57887

I photograph terribly. The only time I've taken a good photograph was when I was 20 pounds lighter. I'm on the way there again.

No. 57891

>>57887
I always look like shit in pics I don't take myself, and sometimes even in those I do. I don't know if I really look like a turd irl or if it's just the camera

No. 57896

>>57812
You're the only nasty one here.

No. 68414

File: 1506827330747.jpeg (85.01 KB, 750x553, image.jpeg)

wish i could relate to all these replies about being cute when you were younger, but i can't. i was always an ugly kid and growing up with an untreated mental illness and incompetent parents made me completely neglect my physical health for almost my entire teen years and so naturally i never had any respect from anyone my age because of my looks. if you're shy and pretty people tend to think the best of you, but if you're shy and ugly you become a target if your existence is even acknowledged.

when i turned 16 and actually started making friends and caring about myself, i lost weight and for a very brief period felt like a normal girl. it was weird having complete strangers talk to me out of nowhere in public and have men smile at me when i looked at them and when kids my age would actually start conversation with me. my eating habits became extremely restrictive and spiraled out of control when depression and general mental subhumaness caught up to me, and putting weight back on made me realize how much the world cares about how pretty you are. it's soul-crushing, honestly. it's not like it means anything when you're experiencing it because of ulterior motives but it makes you feel so different. i don't feel like i ever deserve to be treated like that again, though, honestly. i naturally have a shit body (short legs, broad shoulders and chest, man jaw) and the only way i look remotely respectable is if i'm skinny as fuck, which i'm not. being a fatty makes me feel like all the rudeness i get is deserved tbqh.

saging for blogging.



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