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Autist/troll from the relationship thread detected
Whether or not someone gets pressured to settle really varies a lot on your social scene, location and finances. Self sufficient people don't need to couple up, religious or traditional upbringings or small towns lead to marriage etc.
I came from a really liberal background and imagined life would be a huge party well into my forties, but now in my mid twenties all of my friends are starting to marry. I feel betrayed. I love my partner but marriage before 40 sounds insane, I think I need to move to a bigger city, preferably one where it's normal to flatshare forever so that nobody can ever save up enough to consider family life.
Meh I lowered my standards in some respects in regards to marriage. Younger me wanted passion and a handsome guy.
After dating someone who could have been a model (and was often mistaken for an actor) and a passionate "bad boy", I realized for long term, both would drive me crazy.
My last boyfriend was below average physically, but very nice and a genuinely amazing person. He wasn't vain like the model guy nor stubborn like the bad boy.
There was no passion, but Id rather settle physically for a 4/10 who is less exciting, but who I'll know will always love and be there for me. Everyday life isn't a vacation, so having a dependable and loving partner is much more important than a hottie. Honestly, I think settling is just part of growing older for many people.
With that said, I'd never settle for someone I had chemistry with or was a 10/10 but was flakey, vain, unreliable etc.
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>>44897>"oh well when I'm older I'll have $$$ and all the women will love me" and that's unrealistic.
It's the exact opposite of unrealistic. That's exactly how things work.
If you take a look at all 20 year olds you will find way more single men than women, but if you take a look at all 35 year olds, there are more single women than men.
Women's sexual market value decreases linearly with age.
Statistically speaking men's increases with age, not because of their age itself, but because that's when many of them start making money and thus finally become an acceptable partner to females.
>>44899>finally become an acceptable partner to females.
you're joking right?
like please tell me that's not really how you see it
That's really how it is. These men are ignored by females and deprived of sex until they start making money and gaining status, usually in their late 20s, then suddenly - for some mysterious reason - females want them.
Personally I hope the new generation of these men completely refuse to enter into marriage or long-term relationships, because it's unfair that they're ignored by females their entire lives until they have money, then you expect them to marry a used-up whore who had 10+ past sexual partners just so she can (statistically very likely) cheat or financially ruin him in a divorce.
He should just take his money and visit Thailand regularly, they have a great prostitution industry targeted towards white male tourists who don't want to deal with the entitled princesses ruined by feminism back in their own countries.
I'm never gonna settle. The way I see it, if I get lucky and marry someone I love and have kids, that's great, but if I don't, then I can enjoy my free time, disposable income and stress free life anyway. Admittedly I'm 25 so I'm not quite at the point of stressing about it, maybe I'll get older and be afraid of dying alone and maybe the social pressure will get to me (at the moment it's just a bit embarrassing at worst to be permanently single), but I've always been socially independent. I've been single for 6 years, with a brief 2 month relationship in the middle of it that made me realize why I preferred being single the rest of the time.
It's not that I have really high standards or want a model or anything, but I owe it to any boyfriend or husband I might have to be genuinely attracted to him and not find him unappealing or irritating. I'd rather be single than have someone settle for me too.
Don't forget>DEPRIVED of sex
I think I threw up a little. I hope these types never breed.
I use the word "male" too, why are females so against this age-neutral correct term for their entire sex? What am I supposed to use? Woman, girl, old hag, stupid bitch?>>44909
You wouldn't understand this, but men need sex, it's on the same level as consuming food/water. They can get by through masturbation only, but lack of real sex comes with a huge psychological impact.
The only reason they even deal with females at all, and the only reason most of them compete in the rat-race of society, is because they want sex, the only reason your boyfriend/husband is even with you is because he wants sex from you.
Try not having sex with him for extended periods of time and see what happens, because I know you're dumb enough to think your boyfriend/husband is different.
Men desire sex at rates far above females. It's not even comparable.
It's very common for women to go weeks/months without masturbating or having sex, and thinking nothing of it. Almost every single healthy male past puberty masturbates or has sex at least once a day. Civilization and every advancement in technology was built because men wanted sex, that's how much more they want sex than women do.
Men fiercely compete and show off for access to females, just like animals. Allowing women to have as much control as they do in modern western countries has brought humanity back to a primal sexual system similar to the ones other apes still practice today.
>go pay a prostitute
That's illegal here, and whining feminists want to keep it that way. Unregulated prostitutes are often disease-ridden, sickly, and drug addicted, or they're just a trap to rob you. I don't have high standards for looks by any means, but I draw the line at almost all illegal prostitutes. If prostitution was legal where I live I already would have done this.
>why shouldn't they get something out of it (like money) too?
They do get money out of it, whether it's a whore in a brothel, or something called "marriage" or "dating".
Women are only allowed as much power as men allow them to have. Men on average are far physically stronger than women, and if you want to consider weapons, even including guns, they have the motor skills, coordination, mentality, and intelligence to use them far more effectively.
If men collectively wanted to, women would be under complete control of men, your position in society would be for breeding. This has already existed before you know.
>>44914>>44918>so you can appreciate the intelligence and planning that went into the feminist movement
The success of feminism is a result of a complex range of paths that western civilization has taken that coincide with a slow collapse of a civilization, you were able to pull off this one scheme because of that. You ended up hurting women more than you did help them anyway.
The results on society as a whole are disastrous, and we will fully see the fruits of it in a few generations once we're made up almost entirely of men "raised" by single mothers, or as I like to call them, criminals.>>44917>She's 53 or some shit and always gets hit on by guys in their 20s and 30s.
She probably looks her age, it's just that most younger guys won't turn their noses up at Mrs.Robinson
lel> You ended up hurting women more than you did help them anyway.
How? Actually, don't answer. I've read enough nonsense for one day.
> entirely of men "raised" by single mothers, or as I like to call them, criminals.
top fucking kek. I'm pretty sure most of those single mothers have worked more than you, filthy neet. Single mothers are the weakest target in our society so you or robots have no problems attacking them. How lowly and scummy of you to do so. Taking into account your visceral hatred of women I'm not surprised.
Why do robots even bother coming here? If I wanted to read rubbish I'd go to designated shitting boards where they lurk.
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This is both romantic and bittersweet.
To know you're fucking a woman who doesn't really love you must be exhilarating as fuck.
I'm 27 and I still have a weird kid crush on Eddie Vedder so it's really not all that baffling…Some of us grew up in the grunge capital yo.
That said, yeah, it sounds a bit trollish. And if it is true, then, I can semi-understand where she's coming from if it got the point where he never made ANY effort money wise like say, put in money for a joint vacation or whatever. Not like, buy her fancy gifts or anything but treating each other to dinner once and awhile.
On the other hand, it's not her money and they aren't married so she has no right to insist he spends it on her but yeah. If it's true, the dude does sound a bit like he has no future other than taking it easy and that can get…dull.
>>44911>You wouldn't understand this, but men need sex, it's on the same level as consuming food/water
No they don't. There are men who join the clergy and knowingly dedicate themselves to celibacy for life.
What most alienates me from PUAs and /r9k/ types is the obsessive emphasis on recreational sex.>>44884
Settling is for women who want to raise children with a stable father figure. At some point you're going to have to have a child soon or never, and most people are more afraid of regretting childlessness than parenthood.
>>44918>we have managed to enslave males and make them our personal banks and bitches.
This is less true than ever since pretty much the 1950s
For lots of women these days their only experience with men is getting pumped and dumped by a fboy who would struggle to recall their last name
It's so aggravating. If you try to offer anecdotes that not all men you know are crazed sex machines and not all women are docile wives in waiting, they get very determined that whatever you know from your own life is completely wrong. However their observations as (often virgin) woman haters who don't even have female friends even if they have irl male friends MUST be correct. Sigh.>>44938>They see monogamy as a social arrangement that evenly distributes sex, while sexual liberation distributes it freely to women but unequally to men.
I've never seen their crazy views organised so neatly
Again, it's not about cash or competing (I didn't mention fame, but it's not about that either). You can aspire to do things that don't involve being in a rat race. The issue I have is about someone being that age and not having a plan for the future, just aimlessly floating through life with no goals. I like people that are productive and seek self improvement. That in itself is subjective though.
I'm not saying you can't have hobbies like writing to take up your free time, but the robot post stated that the dude did some online and guitar stuff here and there, so his life was basically "free time", and had not stated any concrete, future goals. As an adult, that's off putting.
TBH I fucking agree with her.
Dude has the money to at least take her out to a decent dinner once in a while. That's not even asking a lot.
It sounds like she wanted to have kids And build a family and he didn't see her as worth anything more than a 99c can of potato soup. He sounds like the kind of person who'd buy his kids school clothes from Goodwill.
Assuming they're real.
Yeah, I agree with you.
Even if you never had to work again, you should still have goals you want to achieve, even if it's just basic fitness, or wanting to be more well known for his session work in this case, or any number of things, you shouldn't just be content wasting away forever just not achieving anything.
What if plan for future is to be able to do what you like with no rush?
How can you plan your life? How many people do you know who ended up working in the place they work in by accident? How can you be sure that stuff you plan to achieve will be the way you imagine it? For example lot of teachers were starting with lot of enthusiasm, plans to change the way you educate and now you hear so much about burnouts that it's assumed to be natural consequence of this, or many other jobs.
What if your plans will crash and burn? What if you'll never achieve what you want? Will you be disappointed? Why do this to yourself when there's already so much pressure you can't do anything about?
The only planning I can understand is planning "just in case", for example having enough money saved to be able to live normally when you suddenly get fired and have to look for new job for month or two or when you car breaks and you have to pay mechanic to fix it. Or planning to prepare enough wood/coal/whatever to not freeze during winter. Or planning your responsibilities so you had free time to enjoy life.
The only "distant" plans I can udnerstand is stuff like wanting to have house and family and even then you often don't know when it'll be and who you'll share your life with.
Tell me what are your goals.
>>44948>What if plan for future is to be able to do what you like with no rush?
I'm not against that, it's fine, but robot post stated he never shared any with her, so she took it as him not having any. Post says they dated for close to a yr. That's a long time to not mention an actual goal.>How can you plan your life? How many people do you know who ended up working in the place they work in by accident? How can you be sure that stuff you plan to achieve will be the way you imagine it?
A plan is just a strategy to achieve your goals, its yours to tweak/change/dump, it's not a contractual obligation or a guarantee–nothing in life is. When I speak of planning, I'm talking about things that span months to a few yrs. I don't know anyone who tries to go past a 5 yr plan. I also don't know anyone who landed at a job by accident (at least not to my knowledge). Most of my friends are working jobs related to their majors. You can't be sure of many things, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. >What if your plans will crash and burn? What if you'll never achieve what you want? Will you be disappointed?
Just because there's a potential for failure and hurt feelings means you shouldn't have aspirations? That's classic avoidance. The risk is worth the reward for me.
You don't ever "settle".
You meet people, maybe date them, work out which traits/behaviours are big turn-offs and which ones are minor, eventually you meet someone who doesn't have any big turn-offs but almost certainly a few minor ones… then you work out whether you're grown-up enough to deal with that, as relationships happen between human beings with flaws, and they require compromise. If you are, congratulations you might have found your one! If not, then you let them go and carry on being single, knowing that you might have to look for a while to find someone else who fits the bill.
As it stands, you might never find someone who fits. In this case, you're either expecting too much or just never come into contact with the right person. The former can be remedied by either growing up a bit or accepting you'll never be settled down, and the latter can be solved by getting out there and meeting new people.
But never settling down isn't a bad thing. A lot of people are quite happy going through life never getting married or having kids, it's a completely valid option. And it's WAY preferable to getting married/having kids with someone who isn't quite right for you just because you think you should.
the fact you genuinely think that women's magazines are actually representative of IRL women is probably one of the reasons why no one wants to f*ck you.>>44911>on the same level of consuming water
if that were the case, robot anon, you'd be dead by now, as you can only survive about 3 days without water. Drama queen.>>44918
I personally feel 4/10 is too low, I'd still want to find them sexy. Maybe a 6/10 but no lower. That's just my opinion though.
how hot someone is doesn't really matter if you don't have any sexual passion for them anyway. >>44923
I think the point they're making is that passion will eventually burn out anyway, we all get old and f*cking the same person for 40 years is going to get boring at some point. It's more important that you work as a couple, but I think it would be less likely to last more than the first few years if you weren't attracted to each other.
>>44897>Most guys, especially older guys, don't care about a women's sexual past unless she has kids.
Most guys care, but not in the way /r9k/ thinks (i.e. more than 1 partners makes you a whore). If you're pushing 10, that's going to be an issue for a lot of men in my experience. A friend of mine got dumped by her actuary bf when she told him her number, not immediately, but he broke it off slowly and that was obviously the reason.
It obviously depends on where you live. None of my boyfriends cared and my boyfriend of six years has the same number as me (which is around 10) and he doesn't give a flying fuck.
Nobody cares as long as you're a nice person and you've got some achievements to show for yourself.
men wont say this because it makes them sound crazy, but they dont like thinking about you sleeping with literally anyone else. they hate it. it doesnt matter if they've slept with 10+ people, men are possesive creatures.
imo, its best to just put your number at around 3 and leave it at that. honesty is great, but its just gonna leave doubt in a guys mind (we all know how much they need their ego stroked). y
es BF, your dick is the biggest/best ive had. thats the anthem.
i'd much rather have a fragile man baby than a cuck like you have
lol k. I'm sure that's all true. >>71856
I wouldn't want to date or marry a man who was promiscuous, and I'm not going to knock a man for wanting the same out of a woman.
Call it insecurity, but all the statistics show that partner count correlates with marital disruption. >>71855
This also. I want my partner to be a bit possessive of me. Not to a psychotic degree but it's nice to know he cares that much.
Yup u got me, I’m making up lies to impress anons on an imageboard~ >>71861
Yeah my poor kid, having 2 loving parents and a beautiful stable home. How does my past - I haven’t been a hooker for a long time - affect my ability to parent exactly?
Can see why you guys are pulling such beta males now, lmfao
>>71862>How does my past - I haven’t been a hooker for a long time - affect my ability to parent exactly?
Because nothing occurs in a vacuum. People's behavior tells us a lot about people's character, funnily enough. There's a reason the diplomatic service creates character profiles for world leaders in order to analyze how they'd, in terms of probability, react to certain scenarios.
In this case you were a dumb-dumb who bought into le sex work is empowering meme. That tells us a lot about your character, and consequently, your ability to parent.
Kek, this is so accurate.
I moved to NYC with my husband and so many women are like this including my brother-in-law's wife.
>>71852>You anons sound like you know some insecure immature manbabies.
Its not about being insecure tho. It is statistically proven people (men and women) who are more promiscuous are more prone to STDs, more likely to cheat, have mental health issues, etc. So of course its understandable to want to avoid all this potential baggage.
You may be an exception to the rule and its good that you're happy together but its reasonable for people to not want to take the risk and people are allowed to have standards in that regard.
>If a guy is too fragile to deal with you having a life before him, why are you trying to fucking date the little bitch anyway lmao?
Come on anon, having a few other partners is one thing, but 70+ really? That's way beyond "having a life". No guy wants to think about the dozens of dicks their girl has sucked while he's kissing her.
It's called a second chance anon, you don't know how are why she was a prostitute, she could have been forced into for all we know, does she not deserve love because of that?
>It is statistically proven people (men and women) who are more promiscuous are more prone to STDs
then that's her business, she should get STD checks every now and then, but you can't say for sure she 100% has an std, how do you know she wasn't protected?>more likely to cheat
eh, I've seen people cheat on the person they lost their virginity to, I've seen people who have had promiscuous pasts be the most loyal people you could ever meet. while stats can tell you a generalization,they can tell you about how that one specific person is.>have mental health issues
Again, her business, if she does have those issues and her man decides to help and support her through it then why act like she's undateable and ruined for life?
>So of course its understandable to want to avoid all this potential baggage
No ones telling people who they can and can't date, it's understandable to want someone with a small or no sex history, but you can't shame and shit on someone for having these things, especially if you aren't their partner/potential partner. People can have standards, just don't generalize and think any prostitute you meet will be the exact same cheating std infested mentally ill slut, You don't KNOW why they were a prostitute and thus you don't know if that person has those things, it's like refusing to date someone outside your own race because stats say interracial couples cheat more and break up more, or if I refuse to apply to a certain college because they only accept a small percentage of people, stats can only say so much, not in each individual person and avoiding potentially amazing relationships because of what stats say is just retarded, not that anyone who has their life controlled by stats deserves to be happy
>No guy wants to think about the dozens of dicks their girl has sucked while he's kissing her.
some guys are actually mature enough to give a woman a second chance and emphasizes what she's going through, and when he's kissing her he's enjoying the moment and emotion he has for her, not "the dicks she's sucked"
I don't think about my boyfriends exes pussies when I'm kissing him, because I actually enjoy the moment and who he is now, not his past.
I don't think it's not so much about being used up rather than insecurity?
Like I guess it's just in their mind that they want to compete to pretty much be "best she's ever had" and even if you had sex a small amount of times with a different guy each time it will seem like more competition to be memorable and not have her wish he was anyone else
that's just my pov though, then again I'm insecure as fuck and would feel like shit if I was "second or third best" compared to another girl my boyfriends been with
Nothing I said was refering to that specific anon, I even clarified she very well may be an acception.
I was just giving a list of reasons why people in general view having a high kill count as highly unsavory. Being a "slut" doesn't make you a horrible person but its just not a desirable trait.
I was "passionately defending myself" against someone questioning my parenting skills just because I've got a less-than-lovely past. I think that would be a sensitive subject for anyone, ex-prostitute or not. >>71886
Thank you for this. The assumptions that people make about others based on their sexual history are frankly ridiculous. I have had a STD once… and I got it having sex in my personal life with a guy who'd fucked less than 5 people (and took advantage of me being too drunk to check up on him using a condom). But it'll be me that gets judged, because only dirty whores spread STDs ???
Also your last point, kek. This is what I was talking about in the first place with "manbabies". Who sits kissing their SO imagining all the dicks/pussies that they've been near? It just seems extremely insecure to me.
I'm not ragging on people who would prefer to date someone who hasn't had a varied sexual past, it's a personal preference. Just asking that maybe people learn to judge a little less… you might be losing out on someone amazing.