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I’ve dated up, and the worst part about it by far is how angry it makes other girls. It’s fucking weird. If me or my bf had been there (at a bar for example) by myself/himself they probably would’ve left either of us alone, but together the other girls would suddenly think it was EXTREMELY important to let me know how ugly I am and would sometimes straight up assault me. They also try to seduce your bf constantly just to humiliate you. One more than one occasion a waitress at a restaurant would laugh when she saw us and would tell my bf he could do better.
Aww, it's a dutch baby babblingpinches cheecks
who's a cutie
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I am having this same issue right now op!!!!!!!!!! guy is attractive, I think I'm average at most. He's HOT. Always thought so, but never thought much about him, this is the most i've thought about him and i've been working at the place for 5 years. In the entirety of the 5 yrs ive been here i never once thought about him after getting home, now it's all i do. He's very attractive close to or model tier. WTF is going on lol is he playing a joke on me? he asked me out on a date btw and i said i would think about it. I don't think I want to go out with him but only because I feel something fishy may be going on.
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I didn't actually think at the moment that I was dating down or that the guy was ugly or something, he was charismatic enough and had nice eyes and smile. My other bfs were way more attractive though. I didn't really mind his height (manlet) and even his hairline (receding), yet I couldn't come to terms with his thin little dick and its weird smell. Ugh. The relationship ended pretty quickly but they didn't work out because of his personality above all else. Porn addiction (allegedly 'in the past'), weird stories about exes where he tried to show them in a bad light only to end up outing himself as a jerk, some obvious issues I didn't want to deal with, etc. I have to repeat though that while I still liked him, I didn't think of him as looking worse than me and some of his flaws (except for dick) didn't matter to me. I was more focused on his nice features and him as a person in overall. But after knowing him better I've become repulsed by him in general, so now I see it as dating down.>>198824>>199016
Nonnies, I think you're being unfair to yourselves. You might look just as good as these guys and not realize that, many people tend to have lower standards for men. Plus, you don't really know how other people see you. You may appear way more attractive than you think. And it's not necessarry to be "perfect" to get someone (even a hot person) to like you. Not looking the way you'd want to be doesn't make you any less valuable and not deserving of the attention of a good looking guy (who is still just a guy, not a demigod). Moreover, I'm pretty sure you'll easily detect the red flags if there're any. It's not like they proposed to you or something, spend some time with them, have fun, if something's off you'll see it.
I'm in a very similar situation with my bf, down to him not thinking much of me then being won over when we became friends and then making the first move on me. Can't believe my luck sometimes, I am definitely dating up.>>199074>Not looking the way you'd want to be doesn't make you any less valuable and not deserving of the attention of a good looking guy (who is still just a guy, not a demigod).
Ty anon, I really really needed to read this today.
Don't date down on purpose just because you think it will bring "stability." Both from personal experience and what I've seen happen to others, men act like major assholes when they think they'll never do better than you. Possessive and paranoid, they assume you're a cheater and a whore just because other guys hit on you even if you never reciprocate, and if you're incompatible (he wants a dozen kids and you want 0-1, or you want to live on the coast and he wants to live in his midwestern home town), they refuse to break up and only leave the relationship kicking and screaming. Also, it sucks extra hard when you're treated like shit by someone you thought you were doing a favor by dating in the first place. Spare yourselves.
I think the way it works is that when men have a notable advantage over you regarding wealth, looks, intelligence, or charm, they look down on you for being inferior and expect your worship. But when you have an advantage, they resent you and want to cut you down for it. The only winning move is to be confident and comfortable with each other and avoid people who are obsessed with social status.
Nice LARP (or personality disorder)
I date up imo consistently because I realized most people have no idea what they can pull. Most men have low standards and cannot tell if a girl is below average if she is confident and knows how to do makeup/dress a little flashy.
Dating up has been pretty easy for me since I am socially competent, average looking, stable and generally easygoing. Not to say I haven't been ditched or used by a couple attractive men in the past, but that happens to anyone who puts themselves out there because men are disgusting generally.
I care about looks but then we're so used to seeing attractive women with uggo guys that it almost scews my idea of what I should be aiming for.
To be crude…pussy will always be chased more and of more value, even with an average face.. womens bodies are the desirable ones. How did we get memed into this downgrading bs when we're already 'the fairer sex' ?
I think I always dated people that were relatively the same attractiveness as I am, except for one case of dating down, but I wasn't in a good state of mind then and it didn't last long.
The weird thing is that in general they say looks matter less and less as you age, since your own looks start fading too, but as I'm approaching 30 I'm actually way more critical of men's looks than I was, and would be terrified to be married to an average guy that'll only keep getting uglier.
ayrt, i suppose you are right. But i've always ever seen pretty women with ugly guys and not the other way around.
It's not like i am a butterface because my body does not compenbsate for my face either, i am slim but flat as a board>>199335
I have no idea what this guy is like but i'm starting to want to find out, if he's attractive AND reliable i swear i'm gonna rip my hair out. I really hope things are genuine and we're compatible, i feel selfish for feeling this way almost
I've dated down several times throughout my life, mostly because guys 'on my level' tend to be arrogant assholes. The one guy that I dated (briefly) who I did have a strong physical attraction to came from Old Money, though, so he was insufferably elitist and also had mommy issues. Bonus round! he nearly died by overdosing on heroin so like, was not a particularly stable individual. But the dick was great, and we went to a lot of fun fancy parties together. The guys that i've dated who have not been lookers, there are other benefits to being in a relationship with - this is why i think it's so stupid when incels complain that their looks are the only thing holding them back. I have noticed that these 5/10 guys take getting dumped really hard, though, like in a collapse-in-a-sobbing-heap-on-your-floor-and-refuse-to-move kind of way, or a vengefully-break-into-your-apartment-to-steal-back-presents-given-while-dating kind of way. One guy threatened to commit suicide and had to be checked into a mental ward by his parents. Currently I'm quite happy with my 5/10 bf of the past 2 years, he's incredibly smart and I love his sense of humor. His job is also FASCINATING and I feel like I learn new things about the tech industry every time I ask him for updates on his projects. I'm genuinely proud to be with him even if he's never gonna be a runway chad.>>198824
OP, I would say at least make the attempt to go for it or you'll wind up kicking yourself. The worst that can happen is that he turns you down, in which case, it's fine - just zip up your ego, pay him a compliment, and keep on having good conversations together. But it's really rare for 9/10 supermodel people to find other people who are in their same 'attractiveness' category AND ALSO have good, interesting personalities. This guy very well may have dated some hot, vapid people in the past and now is looking for someone he has a stronger personal connection with. + the only way you become the 'desperate gf' is if you let him treat you like one and live. Dump that motherfucker if you feel the tide start to turn in that direction, for reals.