[ Rules ] [ ot / g / m ] [ pt / snow / w ] [ meta ] [ Server Status ]

/g/ - girl talk

File(20 MB max)
Password (For post deletion)

The site maintenance is completed but lingering issues are expected, please report any bugs here

File: 1625505366111.png (198.61 KB, 500x406, imagen_2021-07-05_121617.png)

No. 196243

This thread is for girls who thought were fully homosexual growing up. Most of us actually dated girls, were in the lesbian scene, and had homophobic remarks made to us, so to not derail the lesbian and bisexual thread here's a place where we can discuss our past experiences. This thread is does NOT approve of conversion therapy. Try to not be judgamental of the posters here.

>When did you realize you weren't a lesbian, as you thought?

Discuss anything pertaining to it.


No. 196247

idk if this is a dumb question but doesn't 'PEOPLE WHO WERE CONFUSED AND THOUGHT THEY WERE LESBIANS' fall under the subject of the thread? those women also thought they were gay, but turned out not to be?

No. 196249

I think they're saying it's not for bashing lesbians or those people not that the thread isn't for them.

No. 196251

The warning says to not bash them, not that they can't post lol

No. 196254

I thought I was into girls exclusively from grade 2 when I had a crush on a girl named Sofía. She had the cutest green eyes and softest blond-ish hair.
When I was 12 I got another crush on a girl who seemed to be very funny, friendly and was also blonde, her name was Estefanía. I didn't know how to approach her. That's when I knew I was a lesbian. I liked girls a lot.
Whenever the thought of liking a guy came I just shrugged it off. Why would I like boys? they're smelly, stupid, rude, and have no manners. I knew I was a manhater when I was in middleschool. That hasn't changed lol
As you can tell I tend to like blondes with green eyes. Well three years ago I met this guy online who is blond and has green eyes. I fell for him. I had no idea why or how and I was in denial for some months. Why the fuck would I like a guy if I've always liked girls?
Nowadays I just call myself bisexual. I don't preffer one over the other, but I dislike men a lot in general. Still, to say that I hate dick would be a lie. I wish men were socialized in a way that made them less stupid and ill-tempered. But I also know that XY is defective by default. Knowing this, it's still hard to deny that I like them. So yeah.

No. 196267

trauma, immense trauma from being touched by boys my age when i was a child. Made me think for a long time that men are naturally evil from birth and that if i subjected myself to anything romantic/sexual with them it'd be painful and gross

Im bi so i just denied all attraction i felt towards men and told everyone i was a lesbian. had multiple girlfriends throughout highschool and college and thought everything would be fine. Last month my male coworker i had been ignoring asked me out and for some reason i didn't think about the trauma. I'm going on a date with him next week.

I've deleted my lesbian themed tumblr and pinterest and it feels like i betrayed every lesbian on earth. Im okay with being bi and I understand if every lesbian who reads this wants to kill me lol.

No. 196299

There's no such thing as an ex lesbian

No. 196306

>Bait: The thread

No. 196314

why do bi women get offended by terms like lug when this is how they act

No. 196367

Can the mods lock this lesbophobic shit thread and ban OP? This is such fucking bullshit

No. 196374

Don't bump the thread anon, just let it die

No. 196502

I'm a bisexual and I think my attraction to women came from porn and I want to unlearn it

No. 196510

Go to therapy and work on your internalized homophobia because you can't be taught attraction to women nor can you unlearn your own sexuality, this is basic shit

No. 196513

its something a lot of bi women dont like admitting though, a lot of us larp as lesbians or think we are because of the way men are.

No. 196517

I think porn can give straight women lesbian fantasies but actually being attracted to and wanting to have sex with women irl isn't something you can unlearn.. just don't act on it, if its really just a weird porn induced fetish it should be easy

No. 196524

Bit ot but I remember as a teenager I would fantasize about sex from the viewpoint of me being someone with a penis… and I almost had this phantom limb feeling when I would wake up after a sex dream. For a while I questioned if it was gender dsyphoria but then over time I realized that most porn is shot in a way where the woman is the eye candy and large parts of scenes are POV from the mans perspective. You put yourself in the mans shoes when you watch it because… that's the way it's made.

I sometimes wonder how many women out there have gone through confusion over that or how many are categorising themsleves as some sort of tran because of it. It's crazy how much the way porn is shot can affect us if we view it young enough. Same with just women being the eye candy and the men in porn mostly being meh, having a belly or barely being shown. Your attention goes to the woman by default

No. 196532

nta but can tv shows and music videos have the same effect? I remember feeling turned on by some of that during childhood but I don't know if it was genuine attraction.

No. 196533

exact same issue, I'm not sure if my attraction to women is organic and natural or induced by the media I consumed where women were sexualized because this would explain the meme why so many women experience attraction to other women.

No. 196543

It sounds like you were attracted to the idea of yourself as a man with a penis because you're attracted to men and penis tbh and maybe you just didn't want to self-insert as the passive eye candy object fuckhole because your sexuality is more assertive than women are presented in porn

No. 196545

It doesn't matter how sexualized women are or else why would gay men exist?

No. 196546

>I remember feeling turned on by some of that during childhood but I don't know if it was genuine attraction.
same! I'm pretty sure I'm straight, and as kid I had crushes on and fantasized about boys, but I was visually aroused by women (the ones I'd see in magazines or movies or looking up "boobs" on Google images lol). The first porn I watched (at 12-13) was also lesbian porn because penises freaked me out lmao but I quickly discovered I liked straight porn more. I identified as bi for a while after high school (I was very confused bc I'd had zero crushes or interest in dating at all since elementary school) and my "attraction" to women as a kid was one of the ways I used to rationalize that despite never having been attracted to a woman irl. I think seeing sexualized women everywhere growing up made my brain equate women's bodies with sex

No. 196554

I thought I was a lesbian as a child because I fantasized about it and I think I only watched lesbian porn. Now I'm almost 25, the only porn I can enjoy is boob stuff lmao and not with a penis in sight either. I'm pretty much straight irl, I kissed a woman when I was uh not sober, and there was another time I was drunk and wanted to make out with one but it didn't happen. But I really don't get why boobs are the only thing that I can stand and also enjoy watching, also I don't even have boobs myself, I'm nearly flat chested and my little bumps don't look or feel like actual boobs, and I don't feel anything at all when someone touches my nipples, am I just weird?

No. 196556

Imagine if a man said any of this about dick then was like "Oh but I'm pretty sure I'm straight", the reason you're writing off your attraction to women is because you don't take same sex attraction seriously

No. 196557

The thread title is homophobic as fuck btw no surprise all the posts are too

No. 196562

I've never actually been attracted to a woman though, as in
I've never wanted to kiss or have sex or be in a relationship with one, I was just aroused by very sexualized depictions of them, before I even fully understood what sex was. I feel like if I still called myself bi because of this while having zero attraction to women currently I'd literally be the stereotypical fake bisexual girl

No. 196564

>I'm pretty sure I'm straight, and as kid I had crushes on and fantasized about girls, but I was visually aroused by men (the ones I'd see in magazines or movies or looking up "penises" on Google images lol). The first porn I watched (at 12-13) was also gay porn because vaginas freaked me out lmao
I'm just saying it'd be a different story if a man said this. Identify as what you want because preferences exist. It doesn't cancel out the fact visual arousal to women's body parts is by definition not straight, and it isn't somehow less real than if you'd had visual arousal to men. Same sex attraction isn't some fucked up, porn induced fetish

No. 196567

Yep, this was me. Went through middle school and high school strictly attracted to girls, only dated girls, found boys
physically repulsive. I don't know what that was about. It wasn't porn exposure or sexual trauma that did it. I've been attracted to women my whole life but something about puberty nuked my interest in men for awhile.

No. 196570

I don't see how they're homophobic?

No. 196571

I'm suspicious of this thread because there has been a creep very recently posting his fantasy and larps about this in the lesbian Chans threads (well, all 3 of them I hang around) at the same time and now this, so I suspect a moid posted OP. In any case, there's no such thing as an "ex lesbian", it's always been bisexuality.

No. 196572

idk anon maybe you're right, tbf I have zero sexual experience and my sex drive is almost non existant so maybe eventually I will find out I actually do like women. I know same sex attraction isn't a porn induced fetish, my attraction (?) to women went away completely once I was exposed to straight porn and understood what sex was. I know it's weird but I really do think pictures of women aroused me because they evoked the idea of sex and not because I wanted to be with them

No. 196575

i totally get what you mean, i rarely stumble upon attractive male pornstars and watching them gets me horny in a sensual way but it doesnt get me off. Watching female pornstars orgasming or having sex in different positions does get me off but I dont know if I’m picturing myself as the girl or I’m picturing myself as the guy. I dont think straight guys watch the male porn star to get off so its very confusing for me. I also watch lesbian porn for the same reason and watching gay porn does absolutely nothing to me i might as well watch commercials.

No. 196584

I would say anon’s situation is completely different from what you’re describing because she grew up in a culture that often sexualizes women and depicts them naked, but that’s just not the case with men. It’s not far fetched to think she might have been conditioned by being exposed to constant sexual imagery of women

No. 196595

Rather than arousal via visual stimulation (which can simply be due to sex happening, just like >>196572 said), a better metric would be, do these people even imagine being with a woman or getting off to the idea of that? Otherwise I think they have just been conditioned to see women as sexual objects, which is definitely different than being attracted to them in itself

No. 196617

I really don't find most men attractive and the moment I realized I do find some of them to be okay I couldn't believe it. I've always liked girls and liking men so suddenlty was weird. But now I think it was some kind of late bloomer shit. I was obviously bisexual from the start. But yeah, going from a gold star to "I have intense feelings for a man" really fucked me up.

No. 196631

Gay men don't get brainwashed by tits and pussy. I guess the difference is every show and song is about a woman with a man, and girls are actively taught by the media that we should be attractive to men

Girls are trained to see women through men's eyes (as sexual objects) so girls eventually learn our own role in a relationship is a sexual object to please men. You could grow out of seeing other women's bodies as the objects because what you really wanted is to be the one desired by men. So it was really the male gaze turning you on. Like maybe you were just responding to what men think is sexy because seeing women act out men's desires and do things that are attractive to men is hot to you. It's similar to wanting to be desired by your boyfriend and doing things that "make you feel sexy", but that doesn't mean you want to fuck yourself

No. 196634

Yeah, sex acts can turn someone on without being attracted. I still think that's very different from feeling sexually aroused by the sight of a woman or just her body parts. Writing that response off as conditioning puts same sex attraction in the same category as a fetish influenced by porn

No. 196641

>same sex attraction in the same category as a fetish influenced by porn
I mean, it can be? Look how many men get into troons. Femininity will always be fetishized. Of course there are women who are naturally attracted to women but it can totally be conditioned too and which is why so many women are confused if their attraction is "authentic" or not. Honestly it's super frustrating to me how some women sexualize other women, but would never date them or have anything to do with them irl or even fantasize about them. Imo that kind of mindset is usually porn-influenced.

No. 196658

What? Comparing a subset of pornsick men who are turned on by men acting out a highly fetishistic fantasy of femininity due to porn sexualizing submission and degradation with… actual normal women being sexually aroused by the natural appearance of a woman's body is so fucked up. Men chasing troons because of a niche porn genre isn't the same as a woman getting wet at seeing boobs and enjoying two women fucking, because the capacity to feel opposite or same sex attraction is a fundamental part of sexuality that doesn't fit the definition of a fetish. It will never frustrate me sexuality is a spectrum and women have preferences. Women sexualizing women for men is another story

No. 196659

I have no idea how posting examples of your ex lesbianism in a thread for ex lesbians is homophobic

No. 196668

File: 1625676539381.png (153.1 KB, 680x591, D7FMt-DV4AAHiRc.png)

I thought I liked women because people didn't explain that there is a difference between sexual attraction and just finding someone pretty in appeal. I think other women are great looking and I admire them for that. I am not sexually wanting women but somewhere down the line I got confused. I thought I only liked women because women are just nice to look at. Looking at men made me feel awkward though now I realize it is because I am heavily attracted to them. I was told that only time you find other girls pretty it is either because you are jealous or gay. This is not true and I was told this by men who know nothing. Anyone face similar experience?

No. 196685

anons who think the responses to this thread are homophobic, how do you think fake kweer straight girls are born? They don't all wake up one day and decide to pretend to like women, most of them meme themselves into believing it in some way or another. Straight anons itt are being self aware

No. 196700

Just wanna say that as a lesbian, you ladies have my support. I'm glad you've been able to overcome any confusion about your sexuality, there's nothing homophobic about that. Most "bi" women double-down on their bullshit to avoid admitting they were wrong (and avoid being a dreaded, boring straight), it takes guts to admit you misread your sexuality. I can relate myself as I identified as bi for years because I psyop'd myself into "liking" men. We get so many discussions nowadays about wrongly thinking you were straight, but nothing about wrongly thinking you were gay/bi, imo we need to hear about both sides of the coin.

No. 196701

The version of homophobia where bihets call themselves Ex Lesbians after realising they can't live without men and pass it off as self-awareness is still homophobia nonita. OP says the thread's against conversion therapy but >>196502 wasn't banned because everyone is busy agreeing with her…

No. 196704

No one who replied to her is agreeing with her and OP can't ban people from the thread. If you think her post has broken any board rules then report it.

No. 196706

The lesbian gen freaks out when anons talk about hot men or watching gay porn and revokes their lesbian card though so it depends who you ask. Liking men is just taken more seriously. That's why women get a pass from their boyfriends for sleeping with other women…

The entire discussion that followed is fellow Ex Lesbians agreeing with her hot take but go off!

No. 196718

It's an ex-lesbian thread, what did you expect? No one agreed with her sentiment of wanting to be converted, only that the strong bias for the male gaze in the porn industry may have played a part in their confusion. It sounds totally reasonable to me especially if you start consuming porn when you're young. Sexuality is something you're born with, but sexual confusion is natural for many people in their teenage and pre-teen years. Not everyone goes through it, but a lot of people do. I'm straight and thought I was lesbian until my early twenties. Sometimes what you think you want or what excited you in fantasy ends up not being what you want after you've tried it out for a while. That doesn't erase your experiences. Sorry that whoever was infighting in the lesbian thread hit a nerve but this place is not a hive mind. Personally I think it's a-ok to be a lesbian fujo. I'm a straight, I love yuri, and hot women can make me horny, but I don't enjoy fucking real women and can never force myself to enjoy it because I'm just not a lesbian.

No. 196734

>It's an ex-lesbian thread, what did you expect?
Calling yourself an Ex Lesbian is homophobic given it feeds into the idea lesbians can be converted by men - confusion over your identity doesn't mean you were a lesbian and no longer are, so the thread title was a terrible idea begging for someone to ask how to unlearn their sexuality. Holy shit!

>Personally I think it's a-ok to be a lesbian fujo. I'm a straight, I love yuri, and hot women can make me horny, but I don't enjoy fucking real women and can never force myself to enjoy it because I'm just not a lesbian.

Just so you know, bisexuals who only date women are called febfems - lesbians aren't aroused by men. Not wanting to act on sexual attraction to the same sex doesn't cancel out its existence in you or the fact it's not heterosexual, does it? I seriously don't see how you're even an Ex Lesbian if you still feel this way, seek out lesbian content and are turned on by hot women, since other anons at least mentioned outgrowing it after puberty. The Kinsey scale exists for a reason…

No. 196735

I will never again date or fuck a woman and have no desire to. What arouses me when I masturbate =/= what arouses me during sex with a partner. I just don't enjoy sex with women. Am I a lesbian or bisexual if my partners are exclusively men from this point on? Because most people would say no. I did fuck women, and now I don't. Being something in the past totally justifies the ex-label and does not imply conversion. I'm an ex-child too, and no one "converted" me into adulthood, I didn't stop being a child because of willpower or whatever, it was natural, just like sexual confusion is natural.

No. 196740

Telling that anon you agree with the reasoning behind why they want to unlearn their bisexuality to be straight is homophobic.

Unlike childhood, sexual orientation is permanent and can't be changed. Your confusion misled you to believe you were a lesbian. It doesn't mean you really were one, so calling yourself Ex Lesbian implies actual lesbians can be converted out of their orientation by men. Conversion therapy and corrective rape are serious issues because of the logic you're using. Not wanting to acknowledge your same sex attraction anymore and identifying as straight has nothing to do with lesbians, so you really should leave them out of it.

No. 196741

The words I use to describe my identity has nothing to do with encouraging conversion therapy. As if a single thread on an anonymous imageboard describing a handful of people's personal experiences and thoughts hurts anyone but people like you who actively seek out and engage with material you find offensive. And again, never agreed with anon wanting to unlearn anything. I never unlearned anything, my understanding of my own sexuality changed. You are making huge reaches and trying to twist my words but the dots just don't connect sis.

No. 196743

You're posting in a thread called Ex Lesbians and unironically labeling yourself an Ex Lesbian because you're a bi girl who wants to forget fucking a bunch of women until your 20s when you settled for rubbing your clit to cartoon images of tits and pussy waiting for a boyfriend. I was just gently pointing out the confusion you very clearly still have because it's extremely shitty to lesbians but it seems your issues run deeper.

No. 196744

I haven't forgotten or refused to acknowledge anything. I don't think there was anything wrong with me being a lesbian back then and I don't equate sexual fantasy with true desire. I also don't announce my sexuality anywhere but on an anonymous imageboard. It just is what it is. You seem a lot more confused about my sexuality than I am. I'm comfortable being a straight woman who used to identify as a lesbian. Just came in here to talk to people with similar experiences.

No. 196750

Yeah this is fucked up but tranny jannies won't do shit.

No. 196751

I personally don't have a problem with this thread at all because some people discover that they really aren't the sexuality they convinced themselves that they are, especially when they were young and very impressionable but this is so sus because why just lesbians? Why can't this just be the ex-gay thread? Lol

No. 196753

I think ppl sperg out when you mention your view of your sexuality changing because gays had to use 'born this way' to resist conversation therapy shit.

Conversion therapy is obviously wrong but it wouldn't exist if it didn't work atleast some of the time. Someone can confuse and manipulate someone's sexuality through trauma. Like how men have meme'd piv into being the norm, even though most women don't orgasm just from piv. They changed the narrative to fit their own needs.

I don't think talking about this stuff is pro conversion or whatever, women's sexuality is so twisted by socialization and media and men that it's very difficult to know what you actually want and what has been brainwashed into you.

No. 196755

For what it's worth OP you could've named the thread Fake Lesbians, god.

The fact women still turn you on isn't heterosexuality anywhere in the world. You're acting on your desires by searching lesbian content and imagining hot women to masturbate to because they make you horny. Bisexuals like men and women at different times with different intensities you know. You weren't a lesbian back then, you said you were confused and misunderstood your sexuality while fucking women, so calling yourself an Ex Lesbian is inbred IQ nonsense - you're just someone who finally understands she never was one but doesn't want to identify as bisexual because of a preference, so we're left with this cope.

No. 196756


Do you see how stupid it'd sound if lesbians went around calling themselves ex-heterosexuals.

It's okay to realize you were wrong about your sexuality but intentionally calling yourself an ex lesbian is retarded and obviously intentionally inflammatory.

No. 196757

Women's view of their sexuality changing is no problem and makes total sense. Saying they literally changed sexual orientations from lesbian into straight is when this thread got retarded.

No. 196758

>this is so sus because why just lesbians? Why can't this just be the ex-gay thread?
I think this should have just been a sexuality change general thread instead of specifically Ex-"lesbians". I feel like this thread would have been better received if it wasn't for the title.

No. 196759

File: 1625696778488.jpg (63.46 KB, 976x850, _91408619_55df76d5-2245-41c1-8…)

>This thread is does NOT approve of conversion therapy.
>Conversion therapy is obviously wrong but it wouldn't exist if it didn't work atleast some of the time.

No. 196762

You do realize saying something works doesn't mean you condone it, right?

No. 196765


Conversion therapy doesn't work. At least, not without intense psychological damage.

No. 196768

File: 1625697961536.jpg (83.26 KB, 1024x560, Ecffp1MXkAcGIQi.jpg)

>Conversion therapy is obviously wrong but it wouldn't exist if it didn't work atleast some of the time.

NTA, but the only reason it exists is because people will always think homosexuality is bad in some way and no, it has never worked. Any "successful" case is either someone who can live without real love and sex and is in extreme denial or the person is bisexual.

There's no such thing as changing sexual orientation.

Bi-cycling is common and a real thing though.
Bi-cycling is common and a real thing though.
Bi-cycling is common and a real thing though.

This concept that bisexuals are ashamed of but created for themselves needs to be said more often. It is real, it happens, you just realized.

No. 196769

That's literally what I said in >>196753 it works because of the manipulation and trauma inflicted.

No. 196772

No one itt has a similar experience to you anon. There are bi women who thought they were lesbians, and straight women who watched lesbian porn/were confused abt their sexuality but came to the conclusion they weren't attracted to women irl (me). You used to date and have sex with women and are still aroused by women and "love yuri" of all things… Calling yourself an ex lesbian is also very odd, gay people don't call themsleves ex straight because they know they always were gay… Idk both you and lesbian fujo anon sound very sus and insecure in your identities

No. 196773

Suppressing your sexuality as a result of being abused and traumatised isn't the same as changing it so conversion therapy doesn't work.

No. 196775

It stops ppl from acting gay, and forces them to lead the s/o, church, and kids life script that conservitards demand, so it works. I think you're just argueing over semantics now.

No. 196778


even if you're theoretically right about it "working" (which it doesn't, those people are still gay and just heavily repressing it), that has nothing to do with straight women being converted into lesbians by society, which does not happen. that's why this woman is not an ex-lesbian but either straight or a bi in denial.

No. 196786

Ppl on here literally said they thought they were lesbian bc of the sexualization of women in media.
This is no true Scotsman stuff. Stop sperging out, no one here's saying that lesbians should be conversioned.

No. 196788

No, they literally liked one girl and went with it. "Sexualization of women in media" alone as the opposite effect.

No. 196791

>"Sexualization of women in media" alone as the opposite effect.
What do you mean?

No. 196795

Hey, thank you anon! That's very sweet.

No. 196796

>Calling yourself an Ex Lesbian is homophobic given it feeds into the idea lesbians can be converted by men
Nta but I don't agree. It simply means women who were confused and grew up thinking they were lesbians. They are not converted by or for men, they always were bi/straight and just confused. Give it a break

No. 196797

People like me and you who used to date and fuck women but have no intention to do so, we also had homophobic experiences growing up. But then if we start dating men, any men, and only want to date men even if we have attraction to women, we're called liars, fakers, etc. It doesn't matter if we're bisexual and that's what bisexuality is. People just think we're one of those """mean hetties"""

No. 196798

Legit question. You want to silecne women on this thread and their experiences growing up thinking they were fully homosexual.
What other name or word do you suggest for a thread like this, then?

No. 196799

>they always were bi/straight and just confused.
Ya, so literally just say that ffs??? no one says ex-het, there's no such thing as being a sexual orientation and then not being

No. 196800

>sexuality change general thread
That sounds even worse.

No. 196801

Are you a moid or something? It's called being bisexual, what is so hard to understand? what's difficult for you to comprehend, please, explain why this is so difficult for you?

No. 196802

File: 1625707425906.png (917.82 KB, 1080x675, imagen_2021-07-07_202400.png)

If you don't like the name of the thread, stop complaining and hide the thread. This goes for everyone.

No. 196803

When bisexual girls on here talk about their experiences growing up as only liking girls and the homophobia they faced they are bashed on.
If you are a lesbian go cry to the lesbian thread and leave the people on this thread alone.

No. 196804

Maybe thread name should have been "Bi not Lesbian"

No. 196806

File: 1625707827081.png (48.46 KB, 740x384, imagen_2021-07-07_202949.png)

Everyone complaining in this thread and ignoring OP's description is literally this picture. No one is saying "kill lesbians" for gods sake

No. 196807

>no one says ex-het
Because there's no "hetero" community. But like OP says some of us were part of a lesbian community, so saying ex-member of the community doesn't seem like a big deal for me.

No. 196808

Aren't the experiences shared if you were a "full lesbian" in your youth, then you dated a guy.

No. 196810

Ok, yes it sounds bad since your sexuality doesn't change, but I just mean a more general thread for people who thought they were one sexuality and realized they were another (not just bi/straight women who thought they were lesbians). Anyway, I thought this thread could be interesting and it sucks to see anons just infighting because OP chose a poorly worded title.

No. 196814

I see no problem with this thread being for women who thought they were gay and got confused

No. 196818

New thread >>196817 Now shut up.

No. 196819

Get reckt.

No. 231320

A lot of straight women who don’t conform to what a woman should be think or have been told they’re lesbians, i know i have been I wasn’t in the lesbian scene though but because of being told time and time again that i was i thought of experimenting and questioned my pre existing sexual attraction to moids. It was always said to me with such a negative connotation

No. 232162

Media does affect us deeply, to the extent that it shapes our dreams. Before color television was a thing, people dreamnt in black and white, like the images they saw on their TV.


(sage for OT)

No. 240822

> it feeds into the idea lesbians can be converted by men
Nobody is “feeding into” any idea by using a term you don’t like. This isn’t twitter. We’re sentient human beings capable of conveying meaning through dialogue. If nobody is saying that lesbians can be converted by men, they aren’t saying it.

> Just so you know, bisexuals who only date women are called febfems

Maybe if you paid more attention to what people actually mean instead of being pedantic about jargon you people wouldn’t be so defensive all the time.

No. 277782

I was a tomboy growing up and had crushes on boys but when I started dressing more and more masc boys eventually got intimidated by me. I slowly grew apart from all my male friends because of this. It made me doubt if any of my crushes had been real. Only girls would even hangout with me so I assumed this meant I just wasn't meant to be with peers of the opposite sex.. so I had all my first romantic relationships with girls as girls would return my feelings for them. I then assumed I might be gay. My parents and siblings had always thought I was gay and were fine with it but something always felt off so I never came out as one. Genuinely thought I was maybe trans for a while as I felt so off with being gay too, but when I finally met a guy who returned feelings for me and it clicked that I don't have to be anything. I just stopped trying to find a label since and I feel content now, I guess you could say I'm "gnc" and bi but I really don't care if I am and it's okay, I'm much happier now.

No. 277911

I've only had experiences with girls and dated a girl in high school (a lot of people got angry because of it). My family have always called me a lesbian because they've never seen me date a man before. But I realized I'm not attracted to vagina at all. I felt romantic attraction to my ex but our sexual experiences were so underwhelming. I feel like the I've never experienced any real attraction to someone male or female. It made me think what if when I try to date a male and nothing happens? What if I can't have a fulfilling sex life? I always feel confused about it.

No. 358464

it's going to sound dumb but I thought I was a lesbian for most of my life but never dated because my family are brown, conservative, and horrible about gay people and I don't want to get kicked out or disowned so I just spent my late teens/early twenties last year being alone and miserable.

last year I bi-cycled. my feelings towards men were repulsion, then it faded down to neutral, then eventually it turned to curiosity, so now I've realised I'm bi.

I want to start dating men, but I'm afraid because I have no experience and people will find it weird that I'm still a virgin who's never been in a relationship, and if I tell them I thought I was gay but couldn't date because of homophobic family, they'll just try to use me as part of their lesbian fantasy. I'm also afraid of someone treating me nice just to take my virginity and then ghost me.

plus my family is still a problem. obviously not as much as if I'd been a lesbian and my only chance at love was with women, but even though my mother is always talking about how much she wants me to meet a man and give her grandkids, in reality she hates me having anyone close in my life that's not her. she used to absolutely lose her mind whenever she thought I liked boys as a teenager (like the time she went off one because I doodled hearts on a copybook as a teenager and she got the idea it must mean I have a crush on a boy), and she doesn't even really like me having friends. anytime I go out she's always demanding to know where I'm going and why even though I'm an adult. if i ask her why i have to explain myself whenever i want to have a life she just says because "she's my mother." i only go out a couple of times a month with a girl i've known since I was 12, and we only go to the cinema or to Starbucks or to restaurants and never stay out late. I'm never going to pull off spending the night with someone without coming home the next morning to find out my mother has packed my shit up and put it on the sidewalk. I'm going to be a femcel until I can afford to move out.

No. 358471

>I'm afraid because I have no experience and people will find it weird that I'm still a virgin who's never been in a relationship, and if I tell them I thought I was gay but couldn't date because of homophobic family, they'll just try to use me as part of their lesbian fantasy

You don't have to say anything about thinking you were gay. Just say you come from a very conservative family. Had you never believed you were gay, had you been super straight from day one and never doubted, you still wouldn't have been able to date because of your mom, so it's not really relevant as to why you're still a virgin. You know if you tried to date a boy before she would have sabotaged it or made sure you never did it again. You're not the only person in this situation and anyone with basic empathy would be considerate of it.

No. 358510

Anon, setting boundaries with your mother sounds like a more pressing issue for you than dating M or F, because it seems like any relationship will go terribly while she is still so intrusive.

No. 359311

Saw this thread got necroed and read through it. Just wanted to say thank you nonnas for posting your honest experiences with porn and media making you think you’re attracted to women. I resonated so much with that. I’ve never considered myself lesbian, but I have thought that I might be bi because I would find female characters and women in porn sexually arousing. I was confused because I never had a crush on a woman in real life and the thought of actually being with a woman was repulsive to me, but I still got turned on and got off to things like yuri and boobs. What was even more confusing was that all the content that appealed to me was male-catered and male gaze stuff of women. Actual lesbian content that appealed to lesbians did not appeal to me at all. That made me start to think my attraction to women really was not genuine like normal bi/lesbian women’s is. I have now started to realize it probably was influenced a lot by my exposure to sexualized women in media. I really do think this is the case of porn warping the mind. It’s like how many guys purportedly into “femboys” and “traps” aren’t into real men in real life and would have never been into that shit if they were born before the internet.

No. 360273

File: 1700551447305.png (5.94 KB, 166x116, twinkle.png)


imagine what it must do to a little child to learn that abrasiveness, toughness, emotion-numbness are the tickets to success

No. 360292

sage for irrelevant but this post really resonated, it's like you captured exactly how i feel about with men. it's like i've conditioned myself.
do you have any tips for getting out of it or anything that helped you nonna?

No. 360302

Lets first start with how did I know I was a lesbian, I've always kind of fancied women, even at the tender age of 10. I would be confused as to why I wasnt crushing on the men in my life only to find out that… oh I must be gay.

And so, years went by, I came out to everyone around me, experienced the routine hardships that comes with uncertain acceptance from my Family or Friends. I dated many women, and of course, slept with them. I was happy with the women, but I still felt like I've been lying to myself.

I felt guilty when I flicked the bean to straight porn or men, and I was conflicted.

My ex of 6 years was probably the turning point. Everything that happened with her felt like a fever dream, we went to places, we fell in love, and then we fell out of love and I was tired. I was frustrated. While still with her, I had visited family in a certain country, there I let my desires take the better of me and I cheated- with a man.

It was raw, visceral and even though he was a terrible lay, I knew that I could no longer be a lesbian. As if the universe knew, I had returned to find that she doesnt love me anymore. Great, I didnt have to break it to her and she never knew.

Fast-forward a couple months, and I am now dating a trans-woman. I don't know how I ended up here, but being stuck in a box that you thought you believed was made for you really fucking sucks.

No. 360317

I’m glad it resonated with you nonna! We aren’t alone. I think shifting the media I consume from majority male-created and male-catered to female-created and female-catered definitely helped. I used to use 4chan and now I use LC, so as you can imagine the amount of sexualized media of women that crosses my screen is greatly reduced. I’ve also found a ton of female artists I like and am engaging more in those communities when most of the art I would find before (a lot of it through 4chan, r34, hentai, and doujin sites) was primarily by men or for men. I’ve gotten into fanfiction, which is mostly created by snd for women. I think all of that has helped.

No. 360324

Copypasting from the questioning sexuality thread-
I thought I was a lesbian until recently, I’ve never been attracted to a man irl nor have I ever had any romantic or sexual experience with a male, but this year I started being attracted to several male actors out of nowhere. No offense but I’m actually overjoyed, I hated being a lesbian and my family was extremely homophobic towards me so this actually improved my mental health significantly. When I was younger, I kept being told by therapists and psychologists that I was just so severely traumatized that I was repressing my attraction to males, I thought they were just being homophobic (and to a certain extent I’m sure they were of course) but I think they were technically right. Once I healed more from everything I went through as a child I started experiencing attraction to those actors. I’m probably never going to act on my attraction since I hate men and I’ve still never been attracted to a man in person, but at least I know I’m bi now and don’t have to hate myself anymore. I’m less suicidal now because of it.

I’m concerned about “coming out” as bi now though, I hate myself for being part of the stereotype of a traumatized bi woman thinking she’s a lesbian. In my defense, it really wasn’t my fault, I didn’t experience attraction to males for most of my life and felt repulsed by them and the thought of anything sexual or romantic with them. Most people irl didn’t know I was same sex attracted since I don’t bring it up unless someone asks, so hopefully it won’t be that bad.

No. 360326

> I am now dating a trans-woman
Anon? Eleborate

No. 360345

Youre dating a man

No. 360352

I just assumed I was a lesbian. I didn't get along with other girls, didn't like fashion, etc.

Then one day I saw Ryder Strong on Boy Meets World and realized I'm just autistic (later found out it was schizo instead but that's beisdes the point).

Thank god I never came out or anything. I could see how women were hot, but now I know everyone sees attractive girls. But I had a coming out letter written out and everything.(redditspacing)

No. 360428

Awful tranny larp, begone

No. 360496

Being a bifag is much worse than being a lesbian. You're basically unable to love or commit to a partner.(shit bait)

No. 360623

t.jealous lonely lesbian
you’re basically unable to ever even find a partner and you know it

No. 360624

>bumping the thread to respond to day old bait

No. 360655

Why is redditspacing a bannable offense now?

No. 360677

Don't reply to it. It's tranny who larps as lesbian and bi to start infights. It's not even a woman so he has no say in what women do or who we date.

No. 360706

is there anything specific to get rid of blackheads?

No. 360707

Wrong thread

No. 360708

oh oops

No. 386127

sorry for reviving this shitty thread but i need answers because first i thought i was a lesbian, then considered myself bisexual and was fine with that but now i think i could be simply straight and now im having an identity crisis

reading the experiences here i take whatever happened during childhood and puberty doesn't really matter. so taking that into consideration then i have never been attracted to a woman in real life but also haven't crushed on men. my porn preference makes it obvious i get horny for men though so it's not really something i can deny

the confusion stems from me always being super into wlw media including spicy stuff and that turns me on but i usually don't masturbate to it anymore n i just read it because it tickles my brain. i don't have traumas and my environment is not homophobic and also i take lesbian relationships serioulsy so that's not really an issue. but i just wonder how attracted i really am to the female body. sometimes i get off to the genitals but for example boobs don't turn me on. but then fantasies of me with an imaginary gf being intimate and feeling her up do turn me on. so i just dont know anymore. i keep reading that all of this means nothing and im just pornsick. how do you even figure out this stuff without actually having sex with a woman?

also i dont know if it could be a good strategy but maybe i could force myself to read heterosexual romance and see if i snap out of this? reading about fictional men always put me to sleep so maybe that's why i gravitated towards wlw and not mlm but maybe if i acquire a taste for heterosexual romance i could find men romantically viable and forget about women eventually. i guess i will stop watching lesbian porn too (not that i watch it that much anymore anyway). posting this here because i want opinions of women that specifically went through this and i feel like the questioning thread does not have such people

No. 386198

Stop trying to navigate your real life sexual attraction with goddamn fanfiction, and go on a date with someone. A man who you think you're genuinely attracted to and a woman you think you're genuinely attracted to, and think about it. Do some self reflection, ask yourself questions. I understand questioning sexuality is something that everyone goes through but shit, it's as easy as just going outside and talking to real human beings and trying to get some experience, even if it doesn't culminate in sex. If, after you go on these dates I mentioned, you realize you like dating men and women and could sincerely see a future with either sex, you're bi. Otherwise you're straight/gay.

No. 386236

NTA but I hate anons when like you just go
>uhm well why don’t you just go out and start dating someone or 2 or 3 it’s that simple stop being retarded just go out and bang someone like a normal person lol
To questioning anons. It’s so obnoxious. If that’s is all you have to say then it’s the equivalent of having no input since society is already constantly suggesting “go date! Hook up!” and anons have definitely heard it before and still have roadblocks to work through so just scroll past.

No. 386250

And? You cannot figure out your sexuality and relationship/personality preferences with watching anime and isolating from people

No. 386255

Do you ever get weary from spending all day on the river loading bait onto your hook

No. 386265

You need to quit porn. All of it. Including erotica and whatever else you read. You don't even need to start dating immediately, just quit and let your mind and body adjust. There's a million reasons to quit this shit, but if none of them work for you at least do it so you can figure out your real desires.

No. 386266

nta but she's right. it's hard to figure out without going out into the world. talk to people in real life. be in real life. pictures on a screen aren't real.

No. 386277

You’re a genius no one who is struggling has ever thought of this before and we want to give you the Nobel prize

No. 386285

not any of the anons you're replying to but that seriously is the answer to 90% of questioning people. If you're only interested in reading fanfic and porn then why does your sexuality even matter? How are you supposed to define what type of people you like without… interacting with people? nobody here can tell that anon "hm you are definitely straight/gay" based on her porn habits

No. 386289

>questioning sexuality is something that everyone goes through
I don't actually think this is all that common and it kind of betrays a certain lack of emotional intelligence or something.

No. 386309

They're attacking you but you're so right.

No. 386340

anon >>386127 here

thanks for the replies. i agree with you that i probably need to experiment irl to find out but that makes me question other things

1- what is like feeling actual attraction to someone irl? i can tell when a woman or a man is objectively good looking but i still don't feel aroused when i see them or get an urge to get close to them. if someone could elaborate more on this would be nice because maybe im just missing signs

2- im aware that having just one experience with a man and a woman can result in bad sex, so what would be the ideal number of times you have bad sex with a gender so that you can completely rule out sexual attraction to them?

No. 386343

not any of the replies above but i feel for you, anon. obviously i can't speak to your whole experience, but i'll be frank because i've been questioning the same thing based off my lack of attraction towards anyone irl- have you considered that you could be somewhere on the asexual spectrum? it's a struggle not knowing what it feels like or how to identify that, i'm trying to cut back on erotica as well as i feel it's distorted my worldview so much where i can't even tell.

No. 386345

i dont think im asexual as i have a mid-high libido just based on how frequently i get off. i certainly get turned on by some erotic images of people and of course porn. just irl it doesn't happen for some reason but my theory is that i need intimacy to feel sexual attraction to someone irl since i had some internet ldrs and it kinda went like that. still internet ldrs are of course not comparable to an irl relationship so i dont think its correct to extrapolate that experience

No. 386346

I feel a similar way, but imo the whole concept of "finding your sexuality" to me is a bunch of bullshit. I've never been attracted to anyone before irl and i don't see the need to force the attraction and neither should you. If it happens, it happens. Just go with the wind and don't bother putting a label on yourself. It saves a lot of time and headache trying to figure out the right way to feel.

No. 386350

i understand this and im not against it. i just wonder if ive been missing signs of attraction or what does that feel like, how it looks like etc

No. 386512

Is there anyone here who used to think they were bisexual but realized they were just straight?

No. 386513

me lol. just recently realized im straight and not bi

No. 386516

me, I came to this realisation this week

No. 386520

What made you realize this and how can you be sure that you're not just bi cycling?

No. 386525

Me, turns out it was just that I was dating a moid so ugly I fantasised about being with literally anyone else, and thinking about kissing women instead didn't feel like cheating.

No. 389181

Can u not? Lmao
This thread is not about you

No. 389183

Coming out of high-school I thought I was bi. My best friend turned out to be lesbian and I had a gay best friend so I guess I just wanted to be part of that world. Dated girls in my second year of university, slept with one, the interest was there but far far out-shadowed by my interest for men. Like there was no comparison.

I’d probably be called bi by people in the community because of my past experiences but I think it’s normal for everyone to experience same sex attraction at some point in their lives. Genetics aren’t perfect. But I believe who you are dominantly attracted to is where your sexuality lies, gay or straight.

No. 389193

anon this makes zero sense. Many bisexuals switch in which side is "dominant" throughout their lives, so by your logic (of gay and straight being the only "valid" identities), those types of people are just oscillating between being gay and straight for their whole lives every time their preference changes.

No. 389225

File: 1712287864899.jpeg (121.04 KB, 828x1183, IMG_2103.jpeg)

No. 389961

That idea makes no sense to me anon. How can you just switch sexuality? Is there an allotted time to be gay then you go back to straight? Sounds like bs to me

No. 389967

nta but a lot of bisexuals simply aren't into both sexes at the exact same time. there's no allotted time it's just random. it's no different if someone had multiple preferences in what hair colors or body types they find attractive for example.

No. 390163

File: 1712702543359.png (905.15 KB, 961x715, eyebrow-dog.png)

So ridiculous. I was exclusively attracted to girls until i met this individual when i was 19 who i thought was a girl but turned out to be a very short twink. we dated for a while and it was ok i guess. i'm still not attracted to masculinity but if a male is feminine enough he can be cute. its incredibly rare though. I would like to explore my sexuality more but I am socially awkward and have no game. also my libido completely died when i turned 20 for no reason so idk what i even want. i think im unironically asexual now.
I feel so hippocritical because when i exclusively dated women i would constantly get led on, cheated on, and bullied by bisexuals or straight women claiming to be bisexuals, so i made fun of bi girls a lot. I guess this is karma

No. 390165

No. 390169

Is there a reason you think you can dictate to others what their sexuality is nonnie? Retarded train of thought that people's sexual orientation and sexuality in general doesn't evolve over their life

No. 390170

i wish it was bait. its completely ridiculous

No. 390173

How did you unironically think that a twink was a girl? They have different voices, different bodies, etc. you're such a liar. Probably a troon.

No. 390177

NTA but every story I've heard about people "turning" straight irl were obvious closet cases in denial who thought jesus cured them lol.

No. 390178

I saw him for a few weeks in my class and he was 5'1" he wore makeup and feminine clothes like long skirts or baggy dresses and coats that covered his body. i never heard him talk until i asked him out. Then i noticed the voice and realized he was male. He wasn't trans, just a crossdresser. I had recently gotten cheated on by a bi girl so i was having a bit of a "ill date a male and show them all" moment.

No. 399266

File: 1716139385878.jpg (50.98 KB, 657x527, 8nLFCVP.jpg)

genunely considering becoming an ex-lesbain due to my semi-traditional homophobic muslim family and not by my own want. Thinking about a future with a girl feels so fufilling, but my family will never understand that. They view homosexuality as nothing more than a dirty sin or political propaganda that is corrupting young people. I feel super upset to my stomach when they bash us. What if I gave up and became a celibate. There's still time to "be saved" I guess (I never came out). Maybe being single is better than being disowned by a family who loves me or wondering if I'll burn in hell for being happy. Why is something so normal viewed as so shameful?

I don't even know where this idea of homosexuality being a sin came from in middle-eastern culture. population control maybe? the only reasoning i can think of is moids wanting women to be birthing machines.

Delete Post [ ]
[Return] [Catalog]
[ Rules ] [ ot / g / m ] [ pt / snow / w ] [ meta ] [ Server Status ]