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File: 1620974567088.jpg (38.91 KB, 465x465, 51ac69076c0077c023407d9e5926d0…)

No. 189175

What is your experience with body dysmorphia/hating how you look in general? How to cope?

No. 189176

Is this the antithesis to the plastic surgery thread?

No. 189177

>>189176
yes please! I like the idea of this.

I used to struggle with this when I was younger and realizing that this Body is the only chance I have at being alive pretty much did it for me at some point.
These helped me to not let the dysmorphic feelings worsen when I was younger. I get that it‘s harder for people with more severe bd or a bad social situation.

Don‘t obsess over ‘flaws‘ and think about the fact that most people who start surgically altering their Body can’t stop.
See how we can become Victims of our own Mind and try to find deeper understanding and Caution with that. Distract yourself from picking at flaws too much, you probably have something better to do and if you don’t you really have to find something asap! Express yourself and see that you have the Power to create something beautiful with your own hands.

See how Humans are basically Monkeys with anxiety and too much imagination and feel slightly embarrassed about it.

No. 189178

This sounds dumb but I'm much happier now that I spend less time in front of the mirror. I don't let myself sit in front of it, and I have forced myself to use barely any makeup so that has cut down on my time in front of the mirror. I don't think my makeup made me look better before anyway it just looked like I was wearing makeup. I use the "don't show me this" feature on my explore page to stop it from showing me beautiful photoshopped makeup artists and I consume more media that involves older women. I'm not a teenage girl anymore, the way society surrounds us with pictures of barely legal girls is messed up.
I also avoid talking selfies. I still take fun group photos with friends where I look awful but those aren't about me so it's okay.

No. 189179

>>189175
I went through a process of accepting I just exist. None of that "say love yourself, and you're perfect and beautiful!!" bs. Just being neutral to your body. Something that helped a lot is, when I walk around, I don't stare rudely but I do look at people. Once you observe the people around you realize we all kind of look average, in a good way.
Losing a pickme behavior from early teens is also a huge step. I do not hate or judge other women (unless they did a very bad action I guess).
And as anon said, not taking selfies, but more pics of cute things.

No. 189180

It really hit me when as an adult I saw a photo of myself from middle school in the height of thinking I was a fat child and being bulimic and…..I was actually really thin. It broke my heart and really shifted my perspective on what I probably really look like. Since then I’ve been relatively neutral when I don’t feel my best and try to appreciate when I do.

No. 189181

My body dysmorphia started as a teen by looking at famous tumblr/instagram girls. During puberty I gained weight, got acne, didn't know how to take care of myself and was overwhelmed with how "ugly" and different I was compared to my friends and the girls I saw on the Internet.
By the time I was 15 I developed severe social anxiety because of my looks, never left the house (except for school) and had a list of surgeries I wanted to get done.
I don't really remember what happened exactly, but at some point I started feeling neutral towards "bodies/faces goals" and had this very defined feeling of "they look good but they aren't me" in the sense that I'm my own person. I was born with this face and this body, that's all. Simple as that. This anon put it better >>189179
Other than that, I don't use instagram or makeup that I feel changes my features too much (foundation, contour, lip liners, etc) and don't take selfies.
Understanding that we have so much to offer other than our looks gives me peace, I try to do activities related to my intellectual, spiritual and social sides, that caring too much about how I look is meaningless, nowadays I only care about being healthy and comfortable

No. 189182

>>189180
This. I always thought I was a really ugly teen but now when I look back at photos of my awkward years I realize I was a cute nerdy teen.

I think lockdown has made me love my face a lot more. I put on some weight but I will lose it when life starts again.

I'm at peace with what I look like. I don't want to be beautiful anymore. It might be easy to say cause I'm not ugly, just average.

No. 189183

File: 1621004863336.gif (1.87 MB, 312x390, 1605967014727.gif)

I was born with a fucked up pituitary gland so I had a growth hormone deficiency as a young child and already looked way skinnier and shorter than other kids my age as soon as I entered primary school. This and the fact that I was one of the very few non white kids at school made me a target for bullies who'd make fun of me or beat me up. I had to take growth hormone injections on a daily basis for years but even if it kinda worked I still look younger than I am. Then I had skin problems besides acne as a teenager so I didn't dare using anything other than shampoo on my hair to not make my scalp burn even more, so my hair was always a curly mess.

I don't hate how I look by myself and never really did, but I do know from these past experiences that people WILL judge others by their looks a lot more than they would admit so there are times when I get very self-conscious, like when I have to prepare myself for a job interview or other specific events. There are even points where I had people treat me like a huge self-hating perpetual victim so when I asked for a proper treatment for my skin problems to a (very incompetent) dermatologist or asked for info to my endocrinologist they'd just say I'm just anxious and should get plastic surgery for my very small breasts instead of answering my questions, all because taxpayers could pay for it. I'm actually at this point where I wish I never had my treatment for the hormone deficiency, I'd look "weird" and be treated like shit by people who think who'd think I'm way younger than I am anyway just like now, but at least I wouldn't have to experience periods and I'd probably be able to earn unemployment benefits.

tldr; I had health issues that made me look a certain way and wouldn't care at all if most people around me would also stop caring, so not sure if concerns count as dysphoria or not.

No. 189184

Until I got out of high school, I thought I was thin and pretty, just thought everyone was bullying me for no reason
Realized as an adult, I am fat and average at the absolute best
So.

No. 189185

I was diagnosed with severe body dysmorphia that I’m amazed did not turn me into an anachan. I’m still affected by it becquae my body just looks so yucky to me, I want to rip apart my fucking breasts and just be stick thin. I also want to wear what I truly want to wear but then I quickly change my mind at the last second and hide my body in a jacket. It really fucks with your mind when people smile and say that you look fine in what you’re wearing but you know that you look like a weird she-beast with big ass hands and feet.

No. 189186

I had a baby a year ago and it made my body so “ugly” I’ve got stretch marks and saggy huge boobs now and for some reason a flatter ass (??!!) I’m working out but I noticed my bone structure when I was hitting puberty and noticed it’s not even really feminine i am an upside down triangle body type I went to junior high in 2012 which is when big booties became a trend and when I started paying more attention to my body. I still have times where I can’t even find anything to wear because I feel like my body is too ugly

No. 189187

File: 1621017456688.jpg (15.17 KB, 357x349, th.jpg)

I start hating my body when I hit puperty, it was super scary and I hated everything about me. I am shorter and have more hair on my body than the most woman where I live. So classmates made fun of me for looking like an homless person, or that I should have been a boy. I only showered on total darkness so I did not have to see my body.
The one thing that helped me was a sentence that I read "You are a ghost drvining a meat robot made out of stardust." Which lead me to the though that my body has no fault in being that 'ugly' because I look just normal. It is a thing without any feelings. I then made a statement to my body: "You aren't getting sick and I will do my best to keep you healthy." Now I see my body as a machine I have to give good fuel, do some sort of activity to keep it healthy, clean it, etc. If I ever would get sick and/or someone had to see me nacked I will not live with this shame. So I decided to live alone for the rest of my days and do my everday routine. Works for most of the time, just sometime when my period starts I get depressed over my body.

No. 189188

File: 1621018420845.jpg (185.02 KB, 1280x1280, tumblr_pd1ug12ZmJ1rihoc2o7_128…)

I grew up mildly chubby and surrounded by stick thin girls so teenage me was absolutely convinced I was a fat sack of shit. Only ever wore super baggy clothes, developed an eating disorder, the works. Now when I look at pics of me at my 'fattest', I realize I've never been even close to overweight or chunky. I always had a nice figure but teen me just couldn't tell. It's crazy how your perception can change over the years.

When it comes to my face I have my moments where I seriously hate my features and think my nose/nasolabial folds/what have you look monstrous. But eh, eventually I have to make peace with my face. I look fine, it's no use to think I'm hideous, but I'll also never be super gorgeous and that's just how it is.

>>189185
I'm glad it didn't cause an ED before but try to keep on top of things because it kind of sounds like you're still at risk to develop one. I understand how you feel, so please make sure to remind yourself that you don't actually look like how you perceive yourself.

No. 189189

I grew up doing pretty serious classical ballet training and never had a defined eating disorder but always thought I was borderline obese because every girl I danced with was soooo petite. I was taller than everyone (was/am 5ft9) and my bone structure was just different - specifically I have a wide ribcage and broader shoulders. I eventually quit when I was 17 because I had a severe injury and now looking back I was soooo thin, I have no idea how I thought I was fat. I was doing intense exercise 5 days a week (more when we had performances) and will probably never be in that good of shape again. feels kinda bad

No. 189190

File: 1621019754770.jpg (114.22 KB, 769x960, 1580801107220.jpg)

I was diagnosed with BDD in my early twenties, although my symptoms started in childhood I never got to meet with a counselor until I was independent. I could spend hours in front of a mirror analyzing my face and breaking down etc. Or taking selfies just so I could Photoshop my face and plan my future plastic surgeries. I dropped out of university because going out and being seen and having to speak and draw attention to myself gave me panic attacks. Some days I would drive to work only to call in sick because I mirror checked before going in. I was also obsessed with the idea of being disfigured in an accident or brutal attack, I would imagine this shit happening to me basically all day long and wishing it would happen so when people looked at me they'd see that something terrible had happened to me instead of seeing me as an alien's terrible attempt at human taxidermy. I even seriously considered attempting diy cosmetic surgery. It was really obnoxious and I feel bad for all people that had to interact with me in peak BDD mode. Counseling helped me develop coping skills and I learned how to pull myself out of an episode and even stop them before they started. I was able to accept being ugly and was satisfied with that. I assumed I'd be dealing with my disorder for the rest of my life but at least it was manageable and I could function like a normal person. Then one day the curse was just lifted? The bitch in the mirror is a total babe. It was a really surreal awakening experience, like when I saw myself in my dreams I was beautiful and I thought I was a retard for imagining myself that way, and then suddenly I could see that beautiful me in real life, and I see her every day now. A few years ago I could name 10 cosmetic surgeries I had planned, thank god I never went through with them because now I am in love with myself and I definitely would have regretted botching my adorable face. Oh yeah and I was able to go back to school and finished my degree at the top of my class, I was finally able to prove my potential after my brain stopped the crazy self gore loop. Feels good man. Hang in there BDD-chans, you'll be free someday too.

No. 189191

Is our constant involvement with the internet, and idk mirrors ig, worsening dysmorphia? I want to understand.

No. 189192

I was raised morbidly obese so I hated my body and knew I was different/inferior to the other girls at 5. Took until college to reach the normal/overweight range, I could stand to lose 20-30 more lbs. As a teen I felt so othered to girls my age, was on /r9k/ and called myself forever alone, crossdressed for a while and cut my hair into a bowlcut and tried to cope but it made everybody give me more shit for being different because I looked retarded. I'm old so this was before the gender tranny panic shit, I didn't think I was a boy I just didn't think I was good enough to be feminine and had a very black and white view of things. One tropical vacation with my family I refused to change out of jeans the entire time while they enjoyed the lazy river because I hated my body so much. Nowadays I don't shave my legs and wear shorts and give less fucks but I still have other insecurities, like the line I've developed between my eyebrows from the worrying I do and my horrible profile, but I find what other anons say is true: the less I look in the mirror and focus on that shit the less it concerns me. I was actually listening to that a podcast for a while and dropped it because I was sick of how much the hosts talked about botox and shit it was making me want to do it. I don't consider myself a stupid or easily influenced woman but it gets in your head namsayin. And don't reply to me and tell me to get botox either

No. 189193

I think that I'm just objectively very ugly so it wouldn't be body dysmorphia. It started in middle school and got a lot worse in highschool. I would have crying fits and would stare at the mirror picking my skin and brushing my hair to make everything perfect only to feel like shit because my face wouldn't change. I was extra careful with how I slept so that my hair wouldn't get fucked and make everything even worse. I refused to wear tshirts during summer and pe because my arm and armpit hair are longer than normal, I wasn't allowed to shave and my classmates would call me monkey, and I would hide in the bathroom while changing because I wasn't comfortable with being seen by other girls (still am). For me it was the comparison with the other normal girls that killed me, I literally felt less of a human. In the end I'm still really ugly, but I'm kind of a neet now so it's not as bad if there's no contact with other people. I tend to really like/appreciate/make beautiful things, so I will probably never get over not being beautiful myself. It doesn't help that people treat you like a retarded animal if you happen to be a short, hairy, lanky gremlin with nasolabial folds and pufferfish eyes, but so is life.

No. 189194

>>189191
I would say it's not access to the mirror that causes BDD but access to a mirror can encourage compulsive behaviors for people with BDD. Selfie cams can do the same and they suck even more because they really distort your face. I think selfie culture and access to smart filters plays a big part in encouraging people with BDD to get plastic surgery to try and match their facetuned selfies. Restricting my access to social media helped me improve my symptoms.

No. 189195

I really pity teens these days growing up with camera apps like snow or IG filters etc which completely distortions your face, it completely erases human features like pores or expression lines and makes them believe this is how you're supposed to look.
Selfie culture was a mistake.

No. 189196

I don't experience body dysmorphia because I don't take selfies regularly, have never used a filter except when my camera turned a beauty filter on by default (which I turn off), don't retouch or edit my photos and don't look at social media. I'm convinced that most people could avoid getting BD just from using significantly less social media.

No. 189197

>>189192
I feel you so much anon i also was raised by deathfats and was bullied since elementary school for being ugly/fat. I'm early twenties now and "skinny"(normal BMI) but i still feel inferior to all other women, for example if i fight with my male friends I inmediatly think "maybe he would care more about me if I looked better", and if strangers or professors are rude to me I think it's because i'm ugly

No. 189198

Sometimes ppl confuse themselves being ugly with not being white.

No. 189199

i was diagnosed with BDD almost 8 years ago and funny enough i didn't use social media much at all prior to a few years back. it was getting better before quarantine but being stuck inside 24/7 along with how much more time is spent online, i've kinda "relapsed" and avoid going outside or letting people see me. i don't take photos and i avoid mirrors most days. i see my facial features change a lot and it's stressful.

i'm not surprised BDD/body dysmorphia in general is common amongst farmers tbh.

No. 189200

No experience with it, always liked my body. I don’t expect myself to look like a VS model and or viral e-girl so that’s probably why. Also am skinny and decent looking so that helps. I thought I was ugly as a kid since no one looked like me in my neighbourhood/school/on TV but I didn’t mind being ugly as long as I could go outside to play or watch anime. Can’t imagine what it’s like for girls born in the 2000s.

No. 189201

>>189200
Good for you but why even post then?

No. 189202

>>189201
Thought it would be helpful to share the experience of someone who’s never had it to see if it raises any flags for someone who does, or could be helpful. Sorry if I shit up the thread

No. 189203

Whatever you do don't download faceapp and out filters on you to make your skin look better/your hair thicker/make you look younger etc. Made that mistake and now my dysphoria is even worse

No. 189204

>>189203
>tfw i'm so ugly not even those apps can fix me

No. 189205

>>189204
I've felt this way.
I feel like I don't even know what plastic surgery would fix my face or what makeup suits me, like I need someone to just be straight with me and tell me what to fix. I know I'm ugly in that I hate my features but when I try to pinpoint what's wrong I can't even really "see" it correctly, only that I know it's ugly. For example depending on the day my nose is too big or too flat, my lips are too small or too big, my skin is sallow/sick-looking or artificially orange. I'm just trying to get over it and live my life.

No. 189206

>>189205
Not being able to perceive your own face sucks ass and is also a big red flag that you should not get plastic surgery. It is a slippery slope for people with BDD, first you get the high of changing your appearance thinking you fixed something but then it fades away when BDD brain kicks in and you still see yourself as an ugly amorphous blob, only now you have less money and your face hurts.

No. 189207

I know this is not the "right" answer, but fuck it. If you really, truly hate something about yourself and you know that it is honestly just about that physical thing and not just something you'll change just to end up hating something else…fix it. I had always hated my tits. They were somehow small yet deflated, had this weird banana shape, and were like 90% areola I shit you not. I saved up, got a boob job, and I don't want to die every time someone suggests going to the pool. It's fucking amazing. It was one little thing about myself but fixing it fixed how I felt about ME.

>>189198
This is so true. I always had people ask me when I'd get my nose done, even as a teenager. After I got my tits done, it was all "So you're getting your nose done next, right?" Truth is, I never fucking hated my nose. Everyone else hated my nose, but I had no problem with it. It messed with me for such a long time before I just had this stage where I realized that my nose is not ugly, it's just not a white nose, and a white nose is what people have been taught to consider beautiful.

No. 189208

my mother has always been exceedingly skinny, since i was a child. in her mid 50s now she's complaining that she's now 140 lbs at 5'9", "fatter" than she's ever been. that combined with her narc personality and abuse led me to have exceedingly poor self image. I went through a fatty phase in middle and high school and was bullied for a brief time by other girls. I had huge tits during puberty, but those fell off once I went through my high school anachan phase.

I was an overexerciser and undereater with anachan tendencies who managed to stay under my goal weight, but I wasn't even happy with that. in my late teens I developed a severe case of pneumonia that damaged my immunity. After that, I began to eat normally again, gained an inch in lost height that'd been stunted by my ed. Nowadays I eat like a dumpster fire as compensation for years of depriving my body of nutrients. I haven't gained a ton of weight, maybe 20-30 lbs on top of my lowest weight, but it feels that way. The body dysmorphia tends to fluctuate. I've gotten better in hating my body less, but still a very long way to go. Am an awkward pear shape, with normal to slightly short legs, big thighs. esp in a family of tall women with apple bodies, long legs, and decent sized tits, it's a curse, you feel like a stubby dwarf. Part of me really yearns to be scrawny again, the other part of me loves to eat too much and doesn't want to give it up. Thankless as I may sound I am happy about one thing: I have a big fat ass, which is a curse as it as a blessing.

As for my face, it's definitely gotten worse. Can remember the days before crazy plastic surgery trends and everyone and their mother photoshopping themselves into a blowup doll. I was more secure back then. Dare I say I thought I was so much prettier in high school back when I was skelly, and my face was thinner. Having somewhere between a oval and heart shape face, you always feel like your features are quashed. It's a revolving door of abuse, and I flip flop. lips are too small, eyes are too big, philtrum is too long, cheeks are too chubby, face is too oily, etc. I've found comfort in looking at people who resemble me but then I see some of them get bashed or called ugly, and I resort right back to insulting myself. I'm considered plain janey on an objective level and I should be thankful for that, but instead it makes me bemoan how much I could change my boring face if I just shelled out thousands to botch myself before I'm 30. Then I realize how annoying that would be. I want to be in the entertainment industry doing behind the scenes stuff and I'm afraid even as a crew or PR person they'll try and bully me into getting surgery.

No. 189209

>>189203
ironically downloading FaceApp made me hate myself less? I would randomly combine myself, faceswap, and make hypothetical kids, and I felt a bit better about how my features worked together with other peoples. Now sometimes these would turn out bad, but way less than I expected

No. 189210

sometimes it’s fun to just go out and be defiantly ugly. turning 30 helps too.

No. 189211

>>189210
turning 30 doesn't help. Still hate myself.


Thinking about boob job for a long time now as for many, many other beauty surgeries. But I know it would not change the fact, that I am ugly. I would only lie to others, a reason why I don't use make up.

>>189190
Don't really trust counselor. There are too many money hungry ones. How did you know it was a good one?

No. 189212

Oh boy. I've hated my face since I was young, long before I ever joined social media. Absolutely hated looking at pictures of myself growing up. Of course, hating them meant my mother would point out all the little flaws and ways I looked stupid just to annoy me, which made it worse, so she kept doing it, and so on. It's resulted in me obsessively nitpicking every photo to find a flaw before someone else can and immediate humiliation/anger when someone takes a 'silly' photo of me. I've mostly made peace with how I look in the mirror, but the moment someone gets a picture all those insecurities rush forward. There's not a facet of my face that I don't criticize.

I think the biggest insecurity is my mouth, though. People will say I have a nice smile and I immediately clam up because it sounds so wrong to hear. Like, no! Don't you see the way my upper lip just disappears in an open-mouth smile? Or how weird my lips look in a closed-mouth smile? How deep my smile lines are? Being able to hide most of my face with a mask is a blessing these days.

No. 189213

>>189210
Based. This is also how I cope, don't play the game, fuck the game

No. 189214

For me it started when I was 10. I was wearing a long underwear shirt, which are tight and long sleeved, and my grandma said something regarding the fact that I needed to lose weight because I looked fat. I was 10…and I wasn't even a fat kid, I just had a tummy, I was still growing..
Then, when I was..11? 12? My friends dad called my nose a "Roman nose" and kinda laughed about it, to my face. When I got upset he tried to play it off. My dad was there at the time and told him to stfu but the damage was done kek. My nose has a bump on the bridge of it, I posted a pic in the plastic surgery thread before. I absolutely detest my nose to this day. Then in grade 7, also when I was 12, I had a "friend" who made a point to make fun of my nose. She would ask me if it was broken, or if I had broken it before, she would say it was crooked and that it had a bump on it, as if I somehow was unaware of this fact. She also told me I had a mustache kek, I WAS 12 and was (still am) extremely pale and so the 7 hairs above my lip qualified her to tell me I had a fucking mustache.
Yeah I'm a mess and still struggling with my hatred for my nose and body kek. Luckily I recovered from my ED but the thoughts never really go away nor the unhealthy habits, you just learn to manage them in a way that's not detrimental to your physical health. To me, the worst part of having an ED is the effect it has on your mentality regarding food and appearances, and it's pretty much intertwined with my BDD

No. 189215

>>189207
When I went to the Hospital for orthopedic surgery the fucking surgeon asked me if I was going to get my nose "fixed" in the future. I ended up not going through with the surgery but I carried that around with me for a long time.
Luckily I told my mom years later and she was appaled that someone could think something like this. She called it the our family name hump. Which may seem like a small thing, but it makes me feel connected to my family and it helped me lay that thought to rest.

No. 189216

File: 1621091160871.jpg (196.16 KB, 1080x1332, b0867ad3704a2ccd327b6493797ad2…)

Oh man, I don't know where to start. I haven't been diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder, but body dysmorphic symptoms have always been a major background vibration all my life, starting from like age 7 when I was constantly anxious about my protruding belly and ungrown boobs. And don't even get me started about how much I despised my beautiful nose and wanted it cut down to size. I remember grown-ups raving about how dolls like barbies and bratz make kids mentally ill, but boy did they straight up ignore the rest of y2k porn-chic pornsick bullshit that oozed out of every piece of media. It didn't help that girls my age were so stupidly anal about fitting these ridiculous standards, because the place where we lived childhood just wasn't a thing separate from teen angst and 'adult' stuff.

I have way less anxiety about my weight or my waistline these days, but for sure I still struggle with my skin and face. I've had laugh lines since 14, I think. At least, that's when I discovered them. My face has always looked kinda 'old' or mature compared to my peers. My face is also pretty expressive; it's not like a 'quiet face' if that makes sense. I actually look better when I'm smiling or doing something highly energetic with my face, instead of just staring blankly or giving a shut-up toothless smile.

But because I'm so conscious about my wrinkles, it's hard to allow myself to be the dynamic, expressive, high-energy person I really am. I still find myself obsessing over how 'old' my face will start looking if any of the lines deepen, which is some major unfair bs considering these lines were there since 10 years ago already. Despite aging 'well' in terms of not changing much even after being hit with disordered eating, insomnia and moderate alcohol abuse, it's like I never even had a chance as this Bernadette Button to begin with.

My body dysmorphic fixations seem to have a resentful undercurrent, as I pin my fears and frustrations on my surroundings - I feel wronged by other people and society for only being valued for something elusive I wasn't even supposed to be born with. This is something I've identified and am trying to resolve within myself. Here's the thing though, all of you listen up: it's a REAL FACT that our culture is messed up and perpetuates toxic ideas. But as someone going through dysmorphia, you have to remind yourself that people in general feel the same pressure, want to reject it and don't judge you wholly as a person for your perceived imperfections. Most people probably won't even notice it and even if they did, they wouldn't care because it'd be just a feature to them. You might be rare for having such intense feelings or reservations, but even then you're really not alone. We're all groomed to be dysmorphic because that's profitable, and you just happen to be less resistant to this social toxin. Your anger is valid, but don't let it consume your whole reality.

My way of keeping my perception in check is to opt for neutral language and descriptions when paying attention to my physical self. I've also come to question the coherence and validity of what our mainstream culture considers 'youthful' and thus valuable, since I've looked like I do ever since youth (unpolished, blunt and powerful perhaps), and I'm not unique in this regard. If you find yourself too exhausted to constantly grapple with semantic reality, that's what role models are for. Hone on your ability to admire women who are alike you, are further along than you, who you can sympathize with etc. You'll find yourself eventually becoming much less resentful of people who supposedly have a 'better' appearance than you do. Hell, you'll start to forgive the people who didn't even comprehend the evil they were putting on you before, through copypasted expectations they never had to even think about twice.

No. 189217

i hate how i look so bad . im fat by my mom's standards and i have a lot of skin issues on my legs and get called a dalmatian by her then get slut shamed by my dad if i wanted to wear shorts or a knee length skirt. i cant wear cute shit because of them and ive developed bulimia somewhere in my early teens due to my mom's bullying

>How to cope?

at most times i just draw my ideal self and delete it

No. 189218

File: 1621112765798.png (195.9 KB, 703x560, ugly.png)

I'm feeling a lot of shame over my BDD, like I'd feel whiny if I dare to say anything too negative about myself as it is but I want to open up to a couple of close friends about it just to lighten the load a bit since I got the diagnosis just recently but… I don't know what to expect?

Do you look for support in your friends anons?
How do you do it without making it sound like you are fishing for compliments?

No. 189219

This popped up in my YT recommendations, probably because daddy google caught me clicking into this topic yesterday, and found it kinda interesting. Just something really brief about what's scientifically going on in the brain of a person with BDD

No. 189220

kinda got over my body dysmorphia. i'm going to get ugly as shit anyways so it's more worth it to brainmaxx and hit the books.

No. 189221

File: 1621570306370.jpeg (64 KB, 822x415, 7430D210-E24E-43B2-BF06-6F5BDB…)

I don’t know if this is body dysmorphia or if I’m just delulu.
When I look at myself in the mirror I’m perfect, sure, my nose is a bit “droopy” but when I’m in front of the mirror everything is harmonious. Since I take care of myself, my skin looks beautiful in the mirror, it looks bright and speckles. I do have a bit of dark circles around my eyes, I think I look nice with them as well I can spend minutes just staring at myself and practicing expressions and such.
Then I take a picture of myself, I look pretty nice, I try to take pictures with a natural light rather than with artificial light, I use filters that won’t change my face too much because I really, really like how I look in the mirror and sometimes I really look pretty.
But then, someone takes a picture of me, they always say the same thing:
>you look so pretty here!
And I look like a monster, I always look huge, I know I’m fat, I can see that in the mirror but in the mirror i always look pretty, regardless of my weight. My head looks really small, my face, even with makeup on, looks like it doesn’t belong to me, I look like a witch’s caricature, my skin looks too shiny and greasy, my recessive chin looks ridiculous and my arms look humongous when in the mirror they look harmonious with the rest of my body.
I workout as much as I can, I avoid taking many pictures with others and I try to take care of myself as much as I can. I hope I can someday look at the mirror and look at a picture taken by someone else without finding any differences.

No. 189222

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>>189217
Last month i cut off all my hair and now i look like a dumb fat sjw, I can't leave the house without a wig and 4 layers of clothes, because im afraid of how my reflection looks. It's gotten to the point where im scared to shower because what if i see my body.
The lack of hair exposes all my bad features. Especially how fat my face is.
I 've had long hair all my life and I feel like someone stole my body and im now inhabiting some disgusting troll. Not to mention my skin is breaking out badly from the biotin im taking. I actually kept the bag of hair i cut off and have tried to tape it back onto my head(like a fucking lunatic).It all feels like a nightmare. I quit my job and im going to hide in my room until it all grows back.Not to mention I've been having dreams of all my hair growing back and whenever I wake up i want kms. feels like im in hell. FUCK every single idiot who says "just cut all your hair off" its not freeing i feel like a fucking abomination.

No. 189223

>>189222
replied on accident mb

No. 189224

>>189221
You’re probably delusional about how attractive you are. Pictures taken from a distance are much more accurate than selfies, or standing really close to a mirror because there are no angles or lens distortion. You might be titling or angling your head when you take selfies or look in the mirror. Also you probably can’t tell how fat you are from a selfie or looking at your face in the mirror.

No. 189225

>>189224
>No lol you're just ugly
The body dysmorphia thread isn't exactly the best place for this type of replies nonna

No. 189226

>>189225
It’s honestly good to know, tbh, maybe my mind is just trying to protect me from my own ugliness, I just have to work harder.

No. 189227

File: 1621614727768.jpg (3.4 MB, 4000x3000, PicsArt_05-21-11.29.23.jpg)

>>189224
nayrt but damn, your harsh response actually makes my dysmorphic ass feel a bit better. I'm the opposite – I think I look disgustingly fat when I look in reflective surfaces or look down at my body, but when I see myself on webcam for work or in photos I'm always startled by how bony I look. Trying to be realistic about my body shape is hard because I know I'm not truly skinny but I have to accept I'm not fat either.

I'm diagnosed, but I still have thoughts like, "It's not really BDD, my brain is just trying to cope with/reject the fact that I'm ugly and fat."
The weirdest thing I do to calm down is write little comics where the characters are representations of my ideal self and how I see myself (both drawn very exaggerated) and make them talk to each other. It's been helping me take this less seriously and also reconcile the 2 clashing unrealistic images of myself that are constantly terrorizing my thoughts. I'm phoneposting so this is probably spaced out like shit but I hope it helps someone.

No. 189228

If I look normal in candids, selfies, and videos but horrible in every posed photo what does that mean

No. 189229

>>189228
No idea, but same

No. 189230

Honestly videos is the most accurate way to see yourself

No. 189231

My problem started in middle school when my sister started commenting on my appearance, she’s always been into makeup and styling but I was one of those frumpy tomboys. She’ll always be curt and say stuff like
>“you look gross”
>“why do you put your hair up like that”
>”when people see your acne they think you’re unhygienic”

She still does it now but I’ve come to accept that I’m forgettably average looking. I rarely ever draw anyone’s attention with my appearance and I like that I can go places without being followed or hit on.

No. 189232

>>189231
Same but with my brothers and cousins, both male.
They always tell me that I look ugly and that I’m fat and such, and I honestly just feel frustrated after all, because even if I workout, eat less and drink more water, they always say that I look horrible, frumpy, gross or just fat, sometimes they also tell me stuff like
>big deal, you will start your diet and give up like always
>lol look at you trying to workout
And I end up giving up everything, their comments about my appearance are always negative, so I will just forget about it at some point, I really need to disregard them because they just want me to look like the women they want to fuck, and that’s not what I want, I just want to be healthy and to wear whatever I want.

No. 189233

Yesterday I was testing zoom on a new laptop by starting a video call with my old laptop which was next to me. So as soon as I accept the call I'm greeted with my face from a sideways angle I normally never see myself at, and my god I knew my nose was big but I had no idea it was THAT ugly and huge.
It seriously kind of shocked me, to think I've been walking around with a nose like that all this time without realizing it. Nobody ever told me my face was this tragic so I just lived my life thinking I only looked slightly unfortunate at most.
Ignorance truly is bliss anonitas.

>>189230
This sounds about right. The camera's depth of field and lack of a 3D image will still affect the accuracy, but it seems like the best way. I look worse in a video than in the mirror, especially if I'm talking, but I look much better in motion than in (most) pictures.

No. 189234

>>189227
You’re wonderful at drawing, glad to hear you found a healthy outlet

No. 189235

File: 1621624967271.jpg (30.01 KB, 710x407, images.jpeg-7.jpg)

I have a problem where I don't know if it's just an issue of where I lived and to an overall audience im actually attractive or if american men are just playing with me, im the furthest thing away from my country's beauty standards, I was the accessory ugly friend to a Narc Stacy for years, I was fuck and dump material because of my body and that was it.
And then I went to study abroad in the States and it's like a switch flipped, suddenly I'm an 9/10 goddess and men go out of their way to do shit for me, Im absolutely terrified this is just a ruse because im foreign and seen as "easy".

No. 189236

>>189235
>im the furthest thing away from my country's beauty standards
This line puzzles me. What do you mean? How do you deviate from your country's beauty standards and how are these standards different than American ones?

No. 189237

>>189235
There are actually relatively few measures of objective beauty. Everyone recognizes that symmetry, youth and generally balanced proportions are attractive, but how that coalesces into "ideal" features and faces is more subject to cultural standards. Hence why the situation you described exists. Someone considered average or perhaps even below average in their own country can go abroad and see a massive uptick in the attention they receive because their traits are more "exotic" or interesting or something that culture is trying to emulate. As long as you're not suffering from some sort of outright deformation, you're probably perfectly attractive. Doesn't change the fact that men everywhere primarily want to get into women's pants rather than a relationship, though.

No. 189238

>>189235
Well are they "pumping and dumping" you like your countrymen or are they looking to be long term with you? Also what are your country's beauty standards?

No. 189239

>>189235
Most Americans are fat and dumpy so it’s easy to stand out as attractive there

No. 189240

>>189235
This might be a social class thing.
Might be less to do with your body and more to do with the way you carry yourself and the way you dress and the way you behave yourself.
I know when I went abroad it was easy for me to fake being middle class, which improved my dating prospects quite a bit.

No. 189241

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>>189236
For reference im Brazilian and specially where I live on the southwest the beauty standard is pretty much looking as european as possible (blonde hair, light eyes), thick-fit and with a beach tan.
I am extremely racially ambiguous, with dark hair and eyes and the stereotypical latina look but deathly pale skin (got called "corpse girl" back when i was bullied in school) i also used to be underweight until the pandemic.
>>189237
>>189238
Insofar I haven't had to deal with being fucked and dumped at all though honestly I take a pretty long time to "put out" so that might ward off fuckboys, all my relationships abroad have been long term and ended over normal relationship shit im also currently engaged to my american bf.
>>189240
I've actually been pretty well off most of my life, went to a private school and all that, though honestly im pretty sure my body language screams SPERG.
>>189239
I also didn't study somewhere like LA or NYC so that also may make a difference.

picrel some brazilian influencer.

No. 189242

>>189241
Aah yeah. As an American I've heard a lot of shitty American guys fetishize Brazilian women and latinas in general as sexy, "fiery"/passionate but also traditionally feminine. Like they'll be dynamos in bed and provide fun banter but then they'll also pop out 5 children and cook all your meals. Those stereotypes often come with latina features even when you're lighter skinned and can definitely play a role in guys wanting to hook up. Assuming your fiance treats you much better and sees you as a person rather than some gross checklist.

No. 189243

i always had kind of low self esteem but the things i used to hate about myself were mostly things that could be fixed easily, like dying my hair, letting my hair grow, buying certain clothes etc. what truly fucked me up was when instagram fame became a thing, big lips and big butts became desirable. for the first time i was looking at myself and finding flaws that could be fixed with surgery. it's stupid because in a way i was lucky, i never had to feel ugly before because of my features, because of my nose or lips or anything. but now the extreme was popular, the perfect was in, so ofc my lips were suddenly too small, my butt was too small, my face too asymmetrical. i was always fantasising about surgeries, wondering how i could perfect myself. i never got anything done though. instead i got more into pages that would expose what those perfect instagram models really look like. i would watch people on instagram go way overboared, probably because their own view of themselves had gotten so distorted that even though they were absolutely filled up with fillers, they would always be able to find a mistake. i could probably have taken this road if i had the money and if i had not snapped out of this obsession with being perfect. suddenly i was listening to friends say they wanted fillers and this and that and i would just get sad because whatever they thought was wrong with themselves, would mostly just be visible to themselves and no one else. it was sad because i used to be the same. i think if you fixate too much on yourself, you can always find mistake. no one is perfect. no one has no skin texture or lines, no one has a perfectly symmetrical face, and it's not possible to achieve without ending up looking uncanny valley, without getting even harsher on yourself and seeing even more mistake. i still have moments where i'll find a flaw and feel bad, but i'm happy that i'm also able to see that trying to fix the flaws won't solve anything for me

No. 189244

>>189243
samefag, but i just want to add that i do think that some people will feel happy getting one thing done that they really wanted and that they won't end up wanting more and more. but i think you have to be really self aware and know that you aren't just exaggerating a flaw and that you don't have a tendency to notice new flaws everyday depending on trends etc

No. 189245

I've had pretty bad nasolabial folds since I was around 16 (no drugs, smoking, drinking, just shit out of luck genetics) but don't feel like setting fire to boatloads of money in a lifetime to get them pumped up. in the morning and night i can see fine lines where they are. I feel like I had my youth taken away from me way too early, but I cope by saying I'd rather travel and experience things than get filler.

No. 189246

>>189244
this. I got my under eye area filled and a small amount of filler in my lips, slowly build up over years. I look so much fresher and completely natural and I don't really want to change anything else. Maybe in the future when I'm 40+ I'll get some botox/thread lifting.

My body is a different thing, I would never get a boob job or something like that. I just don't care enough lol. tbh all I want is to be a skinny fit legend and objectively I'm quite close to my goal but I can't see it. I look huge in the mirror and I store most body fat in my legs, although I'm at a bmi of 19.5 and I work out 6 days a week. so annoying!! losing 6lbs would probably be enough but I have a baby and I need tons of food because I still breastfeed.

No. 189247

>>189246
I feel sorry for your baby

No. 189248

>>189247
wtf, why?

No. 189249

>>189247
i just hope its a male, girls don't deserve to be raised by anachan moms it fucks us up

No. 189250

I'm such a retard with my weight, I fluctuate in a <7 lb range (at 5'7) but when I'm at the high end I literally will not go outside, can't concentrate on anything, feel like I want to rip my skin off. But still I can't keep that weight off, even for my sanity, because food is my main comfort & I'm addicted to binging. Fuck sake, this has ruled my life for a decade & the solution is so simple but I can never stay at my comfortable weight. I take laxatives after binging because I'm paranoid that my boobs will be stretched out from the water weight& permanently saggier when I lose it (this happened slightly already when I gained & lost ~10 lbs)

I hate it here, even the high end of my 7 lb range is still underweight so it makes no sense for me to feel this awful & fat. The only time I see what I really look like is when I take benzos, it's like they shut off whatever subconscious BDD shit happens

No. 189251

>>189246
You sound insufferable.

No. 189252


No. 189253

>>189249
better than being raised for chubby mediocrity, if restricting calories while hitting your nutrient requirements can damage you then you're addicted to food

No. 189254

Don't know if this counts as body dysmorphia, but when I see pictures of myself I absolutely hate how I look. Just yesterday a friend sent me some pictures she took of our friend group hanging out and I made the mistake of looking at the photos. I feel like I always look enormous, that my face is so round and my features look weird and too small for my face. I also hate how my cheeks are so round and my cheekbones are so undefined so I just look like a fucking moon. When I see myself in the mirror I think I look fine, but whenever I make the mistake of looking at pictures I am just overcome with intense self-loathing. I also hate how I look when I smile or laugh, but I'm also so socially awkward that I smile or laugh all the time out of nervous habit- which I'm trying to stop.

I know it's the biggest cope of all, but I just try to focus on other things like my hobbies or whatever to make me interesting. At the end of the day even if I'm ugly so what. I have too many issues to think of dating anyway and my friends seem to like me enough even if I'm unattractive. I remember how much it hurt to be the "ugly" friend in high school/middle school, but male attention isn't that important to me anymore.

No. 189255

>>189241
Aren't most Brazilians brown tho?
I've even met a Brazilian who i think might be chinese or Japanese.

No. 189256

>>189254
I could have written this. In the mirror I look fine but in pics my head looks like someone used black magic to preemptively edit the pic to make fun of me

No. 189257

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I've had 8 plastic surgeries. I spend huge amounts on botox and fillers, clothes, hair and makeup. I won't leave the house unless I feel that I look my absolute best. Last week my mascara looked clumpy but I had to go out, and I wanted to die all day.

Numerous surgeons have rejected me, but I keep going. Now I've finally found a surgeon who wants to do my 9th and 10th surgery. Half of me is stoked, I can't wait. The other sidee of me wishes he'd say no and that no surgeon would accept me ever again so I might be able to feel at peace. I'm embarrassed to share my extreme levels of vanity but I'm living in my own personal hell. So that's my experience with it. Life is torture, nonitas.

No. 189258

>>189257
get therapy, girl. At least read some radfem lit of something. Anything other than surgeries

No. 189259

>>189257
Gotta add: my 9th and 10th surgery are booked and I'm already considering one more. Honestly laughable. The ride never ends.

>>189258
I tried therapy for years, anon. I like to consider myself a radfem, although I suppose any true radfem would laugh at someone like me identifying as a radical feminist. I have my reasons for falling into this obsessive-compulsive trap.

No. 189260

>>189257
Nonna how can you afford so many surgeries?

No. 189261

>>189257
May I ask what you've had done surgery wise?

No. 189262

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>>189175
I mentioned this a bit in the confession thread I think but I feel like I have a weird version of bdd. I don't feel disgust at how I look, as in, I don't think I look ugly or anything. The extreme discomfort with my face (and body) comes from how I don't feel like I fit… it just feels like it should belong to someone I dislike. Kind of like how people can have a punchable face yet that doesn't mean theyre unattractive. I kind of look like an idiot or maybe a slightly mean person? I'm introverted yet have an incredibly "extroverted" body: wide hips and big thighs no matter what weight. I also have naturally arched eyebrows that make me look permanently kind of surprised or happy. I hate it.

No. 189263

>>189259
Therapy isn’t some magic cure, you still need to put in a lot of work to improve your mental state. The doctor just gives you directions but it’s up to you to keep yourself on track and take each and every step forward.

No. 189264

File: 1621835860014.png (642.43 KB, 640x982, https___bucketeer-e05bbc84-baa…)

I think I've had some form of (undiagnosed) bdd for years but thought I was just ugly. I know rationally I probably look pretty average but my brain always gave me some sort of fucked up perception of myself. My skin is super pasty pale, basically looks like a corpse. My eye sockets are deep and hollow and I have permanent eye bags. I'm a ginger and have curly hair and while people always complimented the color I never knew how to style it so I cut it all off.

I avoided looking at my face in mirrors until it was dark, even to brush my teeth. The anxiety I had about my looks made me not go outside for days in fear someone would see me. I don't have any pictures of myself saved anywhere because I can't stand to see myself. Still working on that last one but at least I can do the other two above. Ironically one day during a manic phase I starting putting on a ton of makeup highlighting all my worst features and made myself look like a clown though it kinda helped my self esteem?? Like if I cant be beautiful at least I can scare children on the street kek. Idk there's shit I could spend thousands of dollars and time obsessing over to change about myself but I don't have the time, money or energy to do so, so I just 'accepted' the way I am right now.

No. 189265

Stop using social media, throw away all mirrors except for a small one in your bathroom to check necessities. Then start developing a personality and hobbies bc if you had a personality or hobbies, you wouldn't have time and care so much about looking perfect. Body dysmorphia is a mental disorder which appeared with the acceptance of narcissism. Back then people were ridiculed for looking to often in the mirror. There are even tales like Narcissus to prevent people from becoming narcisistic. Nowadays social media is celebrating narcissism and people are aware of every small flaw. In the end it is your fault if you suffer from body dysmorphia in contrast to other mental illnesses where you have no control whatsoever. I have no sympathy for people who look too often in the mirror and cry about not having big uwu eyes or plump porn lips. Boohoo cry me a river.

No. 189266

>>189265
Anon, some of us are just ugly by various stardards and can't deal with being treated like shit because of it. With the way every type of media tells women how to look and behave, with men believing that porn actresses are the only true women, it's only natural that some of us develop this illness. It's not necessarily narcissism, it's trying to constantly make up for something that everything is subtly telling you that you lack.

No. 189267

>>189266
Even if you're literally a burn victim if you stop putting importance on looks you'll still be far happier than the hottest woman ever who worries about hers constantly. People love an excuse not to change though.

No. 189268

>>189265
how many times will you repost this?

No. 189269

File: 1621909196367.jpeg (128 KB, 856x606, 412BE232-A4CD-426B-B474-12D260…)

>>189267
Ok but it’s not easy, unless you want to be everyone’s, free of charge, life coach, I don’t see what’s keeping you so pressed about some of us feeling like shit about our looks.
I don’t think there’s going to be a huge majority of anons going like
>oh my god, this is all I need to do!!
Change doesn’t happen in the blink of an eye, and you spamming the same message for everyone to see, like an absolute tool isn’t of help.

No. 189270

I'm >>189214
this video made me cry lol. I know some anons dislike Dr Dray, but the things she mentions really hit home, and made me feel better about myself. I'd recommend everyone watch it if you suffer with BDD issues

No. 189271

File: 1621935981047.jpg (12.23 KB, 220x200, 1578092315438.jpg)

>>189265
you're giving this shitty crackhead outside a walmart type of advise on lolcow? Get over yourself nonnie.

And it seems you've forgotten that scrotes will literally harass women they don't find attractive. Let us have one place to vent about this shitty existence and go fuck yourself.

No. 189272

>>189267
Burn victims are out of standards though, everyone understands that they went through a horrible traumatic experience and that's it. Same with very deformed people (men will still complain that they're not hot though, and they won't have a love life with them). Also no, burn victims are not happy and would do anything to go back to who they were before, even if they say the contrary to be strong. So yeah, shitty example.

No. 189273

a few years ago i succeeded in losing 170lbs. i went from 310 to 140. so i’m covered in loose skin. it’s damn near everywhere, face, neck, arms, back, chest, stomach, ass, thighs, etc. after the weight loss i started lifting weights. bodybuilding is now one of my hobbies and main forms of exercise. i have been able to put on a decent amount of muscle thus far but it will never even come close to being enough to “fill out” my loose skin. i’ve been married 12 years and my husband has been supportive of my journey every step of the way. i have broke down many a time and cried to him and wondered how he could even stand to look at me. somehow i found a decent man and he constantly assures me that he is still very much in love with and attracted to me, and he has never acted like he doesn’t. some days the skin doesn’t bother me. other days i can’t bear to look at myself in the mirror. i’ve thought about skin removal surgery but it’s very expensive, the results never really look that great, and people suffer nerve damage from the procedure. so i’m kind of just stuck having to slooooowly accept that this is what my body looks like now. don’t let yourselves become morbidly obese anons, nothing good will come of it.

No. 189274

>>189273
How did you lose that weight and how long did it take you?

that's a really big achievement so well done! I hope in the future you can feel better regardless of what you choose to do. You deserve to be proud of your body!

No. 189275

>>189274
thank you very much! i am definitely more accepting of my body than i was a couple years ago, but i still have a long way to go. i found out i have hypothyroidism and pcos in 2016, was put on medication for both, and almost instantly began losing a bit of weight. those things we’re definitely not the only reason i became so heavy. i ate like shit constantly and was a severe alcoholic as well, the hypo and pcos just exacerbated the problem. but once my meds began to kick in it fueled me to begin working out and cleaning up my diet. you know that saying, “eat less and move more”? that’s basically what i did. it took a little over two years to lose all the weight. my health is a million times better and i’m no longer pre-diabetic. it wasn’t easy or fast, but it was one million percent worth it, loose skin and all.

No. 189276

>>189275
Thank you anon! this is some great inspiration/motivation.

No. 189277

File: 1622146692265.png (314.41 KB, 622x546, meme4.png)

I feel like I look cute in a weird, rat-faced way, and my laugh kinda fits that too. I think my face looks juvenile in a way, though that may be because I am quite young, but not in a way men would find attractive, idk how to place it but my face hasn't changed ever since I was 3

No. 189278

Just saw a tiktok of a girl using FaceApp to edit her selfies; she said she uses it on every picture she posts. It straightened and lightened her hair, put perfect instabaddie makeup on her, gave her a different eye shape, gave her a sharp jaw, made her nose smaller, made her teeth straighter, and made her skin perfect…and it all looked so fucking real. She showed how to edit videos of herself to be skinnier and prettier, too. It was so fucking scary, from the fact that she thought it was a cute thing to show off instead of a dystopian reality, to the hundreds of people saying they do it too in the comments..how many people do I compare myself to that don’t even exist? Knowing that with like, 3 minutes work from an app I could look exactly how I wanted, but only in a picture? I feel sick. I don’t feel real.

No. 189279

>>189278
Link?

I use FaceApp to mostly just act as a guide for how to better my appearance. It made me realize I don't apply my foundation correctly and that I needed to grow my eyebrows out. I looks so much better, it's insane. I still get tempted to use it for my photos that I post, which I've done a few times, but I'm trying to refrain because already I'm getting to the point where all their filters don't alter my appearance in a way I like anymore. It has made me think of getting a small lip lift, I wish my upper lip were thicker so I didn't have to line my lips.

No. 189280

I'm pretty sure I have BDD. I used to be ana. I feel odd because I get compliments all the time when I go out or guys will offer to pay for things, that kind of stuff, and it's sad how I have to thrive off that validation to feel alright. I know they can't be lying because there's too many, and it's ridiculous to lie about something like that (right?).

I love molly because when I see myself in the mirror then, I feel like I'm seeing myself for the first time. I see this gorgeous, cute, but sexy creature and it amazes me how every part of my body looks complete. It makes me cry thinking about it because I wish I could feel that way about myself all the time. It's just so pure. I'd recommend to anyone struggling, at least it may give you the first taste of loving yourself.

I feel so sick in how I normally obsess over my appearance and feel fat no matter what. I'm 24 and I'm just like how I was when I was little, how the fuck am I going to grow up. I'm so embarrassed, I will tell my boyfriend my stupid stories about people trying to get my number in the dumbest places and he tells me it's weird how I don't get it that that shit happens a lot to me because I am attractive, and it boggles my mind still. I don't believe I'm part of that camp. I feel average and pathetic at best, like I'm pretending and trying to be up there with actually attractive people, but I'm not, I never will, because that's not who I am.

No. 189281

>>189278
This makes me fee really bad for all the girls growing up now. We had photoshop back then, sure, but todays apps are crazy and way better at hiding edits.

No. 189282

>>189281
Yeah, with photoshop to make it look believeable you've needed some skill and spend some time; and it was impossible to use on videos, now you can have easy to use and pretty hard to spot filters even on videos. I struggle to accept how I look and I've promised myself to stay away from filters and editing apps, I don't want to see my changed face even as a joke out of curiosity, I know it will fuck me up. Can't imagine how awful must the girl who uses it on every single photo feel about herself, even if she wouldn't admit.

No. 189283

>>189278
It's crazy how we're all OK with this. About a decade or more ago there was outcry about photoshopping in magazines and now we've accepted it as "airbrushing" and normal and there's so many delusions about the camera adding so many pounds or distorting reality that overly editing is the right thing to do to reflect what you look like. But it's just everyone's fucking delusions. Even seeing the face swapping apps. How many crazy people do you reckon are taking strangers photos and creating completely new individuals to pose as. The Internet use to be seen as an unknown bogey man then with all the money corporations can be making we've all became desensitised to the reality. People are sharing way too much online these days, but there's also all this catfishing happening and everything is warped. People seem to have no idea what looks normal.

No. 189284

>>189241
Holy shit anon. My crush ghosted me and got catfished with this same woman's pics kek

No. 189285

I have BDD. My skin has always been my worst obsession. I actually fucked up the skin on my face with creams & acids because I was convinced there was something wrong with it. I have broken blood vessels and huge scars, fragile skin and a few premature wrinkles. I've looked back at old photos prior to all this and my skin was flawless, bar one tiny post-acne mark. I was just delusional.

The rest might heal, but I am fucked for good, as I managed to infect one cheek. The scars fell off, but left a large (2 inch) depression, my face is noticeably asymmetric. So noticeable people scan my face when talking to me.

I cry every day and hate going outside.

No. 189286

>>189285
Anon I did the same thing, I wrecked my skin barrier with products and got a ton of acne and then scarring. I gets better I promise. Hope you have a gentle hydrating skincare routine and get into micro needling or lasers soon.

No. 189287

I'm the opposite. I think I'm ok looking but everyone else thinks I'm hideous or slightly below average

No. 189288

>>189287
Yeah I think I'm ok looking too but pretty sure I'm ugly/average to everyone else.

I feel like it's because I mostly judge my appearance relative to how I've looked in the past? Eg: I had bad acne when I was younger but my skin is clear now so I'm proud of it. But objectively it's not great, I have scarring and pigmentation, I just don't mind because I know it could be so much worse. Also I think the bar is SO HIGH for female beauty. You could have perfectly cute features in every way but there's still endless women much, much better looking and they're the ones people truly find attractive. I was looking at Barbara Palvin's instagram the other day thinking 'how the fuck could I ever be delusional enough to think I'm decent looking when this exists??' lmao.

No. 189289

I'm shorter and I feel so conscious about my arms all the time, it almost feels as if they're bulging with fat even though I am a very healthy weight and even felt like this when I was quite underweight. Not sure what it is and it's not even like my arms are really fat measurement-wise. I think it's mental and recognizing that making peace with it alone has helped a lot, though I hope it eventually disappears.

No. 189290

>>189288
A lot of people say I look like grace Jones. I'm not ugly I just have very strong features and dark skin. To the average scrote id obviously be ugly

No. 189291

I'm pretty sure I am completely incapable of perceiving my body as it is.

I body check excessively most days. Wake up, look in mirror. I usually feel okay with my body's "morning skinny" but throughout the day as stress and triggers pile up, I channel all that negativity into body image. If I walk the house or town, I will check myself in whatever reflective surface.

I've been working with a photographer friend to help build her portfolio even though it makes me pretty uncomfortable (I do not wish to be perceived). When she shows me the pictures, I can't believe what I see. In my rational brain, I know I am a healthy weight, but my eye just do not see that. My brain won't let me.

I'm 10+ years physically recovered from an eating disorder, but I don't think I will ever "see" my body properly. I think the only way I will ever be able to deal is to just stop thinking about it, and the only way that will happen is if I medicate… but I don't wanna…

No. 189310

It both saddens and comforts me that so many of us on here are suffering from this bullshit. My sister and I both have nasty dysmorphia with slightly different flavours so I suspect it's hereditary and/or came from our upbringing. I remember sitting down with her one day in our teens and drawing her how she described herself, kind of like this anon >>189227. The finished drawing was of this horrible, potbellied Gollum creature when my sister is a fucking Amazon-looking six foot tall former dancer with great skin, hair, and features. Literally no one sees her as ugly except for herself, for whom she is always too "doughy" and "undefined". Now she has some potentially really serious health issues after years of anachan-tier veganism and I swear if she dies from this shit I will track down her former dance instructors and beat them senseless.

Unlike her though, I tend to see myself as far more masculine than I really am. For several years I intentionally went out dressed as butch as possible because I was insecure about how I looked, and I was honestly confused that people could still correctly identify my gender. I'm trying to get more comfortable wearing makeup or dressing to accentuate my figure but it always makes me feel pale and squishy and stupid, even though I'm really underweight and apparently have a very angular face (which I just see as a fucking square). Even when people I trust tell me I look good in stuff like that, I still feel soft and exposed, like a mollusc without a shell. I've cancelled plans and skipped class because I thought I looked too shitty to be seen that day. If I catch sight of myself in a mirror in public on a bad day, there's a good chance I'll immediately head home in tears. I hate how easily my appearance consumes my life unless I completely ignore it, which has its own problems and also made me feel like shit for years. Counterintuitively, putting more effort into my hair and skin care and even branching out into very light (i.e. concealer and brows) makeup has helped a lot, but all it takes is one terrible photo and I'm off to the races again. I wish I had the money to buy an entire goth wardrobe so I could just cover up all my insecurities in heavy makeup and weird fits every day with my only appearance concern being about my fashion instead of my body, but until I stop being a brokeass student that's not going to happen.

No. 189311

File: 1622605015932.jpg (489.15 KB, 994x1200, Unknown_sitter_by_Sir_Thomas_L…)

Idk if I have body dysmorphia, more like embarrassment about certain things. I have keratosis pilaris. I haven't worn shorts since I was a kid; skirts since highschool. Because of this, my legs are super pale (although the rest of me is, too, lol). I also think if I got plastic surgery, it'd be to shave down my dorsum juuuust a little bit. What helps me "cope" is realizing that for hundreds of years, women have been captured in portraits (and self-portraits), no matter what they looked like.

No. 189312

>>189311
I have KP too! I'm having a hard time finding a bottle but cereave sells lactic acid lotion that's supposed to help.

No. 189315

>>189312
Oh fren, I've used 'em all. I only recently discovered peels. I got a sample bottle from MUAC called the 5 Acid Body Peel. I've only used it twice, hopefully it works! But yeah, KP sucks ass and it fucking wrecks your wardrobe.

No. 189324

Not sure if I have BDD but I have always had a love-hate relationship with my appearance. I'm East Asian and used to have thick monolids and terrible acne. I had no romance growing up, and ended up getting plastic surgery after graduating high school. Eyelid surgery (my eyes are still hooded and most people still call them monolid, but a small line of eyeliner will show), minor rhinoplasty, chin implant, and I went on accutane.

Combined with the surgeries, I also spent the summer before college learning makeup. I got really good at it. My life changed entirely. In college, I still lacked social skills so I did not have many friends but now guys were super chatty and I got asked out often. I got complimented often, and was generally happy but also not quite satisfied. I hate using incel terms but just to make it easier to understand, I was Becky tier but obsessed with wanting to become Stacy.

So my Junior year of college I got more surgery. A lip lift, and more skin treatment. It really did not do much to my face at all but add a permanent lip lift scar, that I could still cover with makeup.

Sometimes I go out and feel great, getting compliments or being hit on. I even got a boyfriend. But now I'm obsessed with surgery. I want another rhinoplasty, to really alter the shape this time. Last time I just had a super tiny hump shaved, and I want my nose thinner. I want buccal fat removal, another eyelid surgery too.

I know my personality is shit. I'm obsessive, boring, painfully awkward and dependent, but I found that if I'm pretty enough people overlook my terrible personality. I just want to be pretty enough to feel confident and happy, but maybe I'm chasing something that is unachievable through physical beauty. I can't stop though.

No. 189326

>>189324
Adding that because of my bad personality, my boyfriend's friends all hated me. I remember one girl told him
>She's kind of boring and I find her annoying and just don't like her at all. But she's really really pretty though so at least she has that going for her.
And ever since then my obsession with wanting to be pretty has skyrocketed even higher, when I know it's my personality I should be working on.

No. 189729

Ive struggled with this since I was 13 years old. It started with watching runway shows and frequenting pro-anorexia websites, collecting thinspo, and then eventually starving myself into hospitalization. The anorexia and bulimia continue off and on until I hit 10th grade, and began to pick apart every aspect of my appearance

Now, in my mid-20s, my body dysmorphia has ruined almost every aspect of my life. I don’t hang out with people for fear of being judged as ugly. I call out sick from work on days where I feel I’m not looking my absolute best. I spend hours upon hours crying at the mirror, and sometimes I cover every reflective surface and stay inside for days, weeks, and even months at a time for fear of being seen.

I workout obsessively and am still at an underweight BMI. I obsess over my makeup being perfect, and cannot leave home without it. Every blemish becomes a week long crisis that fucks with my mental health. I spend hours researching fillers and surgeries that could make me feel more attractive. I have, and still occasionally do, punish myself by burning or cutting when I feel I deserve it for being so ugly. I have a deep rooted fear of aging and time, because I know I won’t be able to cope with any wrinkles, fine lines etc. and I can’t help but feel like any chance I had at feeling beautiful is going to vanish as I approach 30.

I’ve attempted suicide multiple times because of how hideous I feel, but never tell anyone the real reason because it feels shallow.

The funniest part of all of this is - people do find me attractive. I get hit on constantly, I’ve even modeled and been asked to model. Yet I’ve always felt this way about myself, and I assume people who compliment my appearance just pity me.

This has also destroyed relationships, my ability to have sex sometimes, and I can’t even handle having any social media accounts anymore for fear of being judged negatively.

I’ve been diagnosed as having disordered eating and sever body dysmorphia several times, but I’ve never found any true help. I will probably succeed in killing myself over this one day.

No. 189733

I was diagnosed with severe BDD as a teenager. I still have it years after treatment, but I don't spend hours of my days on rituals anymore and can go to school and work normally. I have to say though that I'm really jealous of everybody here who writes about being called pretty by everyone else though. I'm thin, dress well, always do my makeup before going out, and still never get called pretty because my face is just very unfortunate. This is about to be my third year being single too. I'm diagnosed with BDD because of my OCD regarding my looks, but I'm objectively not pretty whatsoever.

I've had the money for rhinoplasty saved up for a few years but I haven't found a surgeon whose style I'm positive would suit my face, and I'm a bit nervous about the prospect of having to go through the process and recovery entirely on my own since I'd likely go out of state for it (family doesn't approve and I have pretty much no friends, so…).

No. 189752

I'm struggling with body dysmorphia, but in the wrong way: I think I'm more attractive than I am. For context I was bulimic and underweight ages 15-20, and I had severe dysmorphia, when I looked in the mirror it was like an optical illusion, I couldn't see all of me at once, only very small parts were in focus, it was like looking down a telescope into the mirror.
After that I was still skinny but not underweight. All this time I looked kind of frail but it made my face look great, and I got used to that being my default. I'm average looking (the compliment I get most by far is 'cute') but my face holds a lot of weight, and being underweight/low weight made all my small features actually stand out and come together harmoniously. Now I'm 26 and second puberty and lockdown meant I have gained about 20kg, I've lost 10 but it's still clinging hard to my face even at bmi 23. It's done a strange thing of not necessarily making me ugly but intensely highlighting my averageness. When I look in the mirror I still kind of see my old face, when actually my features are lost in the chub. It's made me scared of getting old, I feel like I'll constantly be looking in the mirror surprised that I'm not 22.

No. 189779

>>189324
I don't mean this to sound harsh but only young, shallow people will overlook your personality for now. It won't last as you get older. Keep working on yourself, your self-esteem in particular. The obsession might fade with a bit of confidence + time. Also go slow with any further surgery, you don't want to end up botched. You sound as if you've improved your looks greatly, incl bf and improved social life so why not leave it there?

I'm interested, does your bf know about your surgeries? I find men can be annoyingly hypocritical about this. They lust over surgically enhanced/altered women plastered in make-up daily, yet rant against any women who do it.

No. 189804

File: 1622811918323.png (243.2 KB, 780x492, Screenshot 2021-06-04 at 14.02…)

Just saw this monstrosity from a clinic that offers specialist rhinoplasty for Asians. THIS is the woman they choose to encourage business? Tragic. My hunch is BDD. There's clearly a lot more going on with her. I am of two minds regarding surgery, especially for BDD patients. I am pleased it's an option, but so many women are clearly very ill. You can just tell this woman fucking hates herself.

No. 189807

File: 1622812644287.png (536.23 KB, 650x650, 59A70156-44DC-4E93-8D9E-31DCB6…)

>>189804
i know she can’t see it because bdd but she looked fine before. i wonder if there really is treatment for bdd that severe (i.e. people that get very exaggerated plastic surgery like oli london, cat lady, human barbies/kens.)

No. 189811

File: 1622813024306.png (116.42 KB, 668x700, download.png)

I've been through tons of therapy to accept myself and even though I still see myself as a hambeast, I just stopped caring about it as much. I asked how my friend sees me with the body visualizer and I was genuinely surprised. (how i see myself for scale)
I wonder how you nonnies see yourself.

No. 189813

File: 1622813550067.jpg (223.72 KB, 1080x1080, NINTCHDBPICT000656030656.jpg)

>>189807
Apparently Oli can no longer sing due to his botched surgeries. He's had over 100 and spent over 100,000 pounds. How do his doctors not feel utter fucking shame? I couldn't approve someone like that for even more surgery. He clearly needs psych help.

No. 190050

File: 1622869071247.jpeg (11.57 KB, 300x168, 1606261013171.jpeg)

I hate my body so much it's unreal. It's not just appearance wise but my several health complications leaving me weak, pained and infertile. I've had horrid eczema all across my body and face since I was a child, so much so that my body and face is covered in gross scars and discoloration.

My hair has patchy bald spots (due to falling out because of stress and my eczema), my face looks sickly and discolored. I'm terribly uncomfortable with people seeing me without some kind of hat covering my head, my arms and legs being uncovered, without my glasses, or looking directly into my eyes. I hate looking at my self or body in the mirror when I wake up or shower.

When I do look at myself or acknowledge my appearance it's like a constant sludge of horrible thoughts of "you'll never be cute" "no man will ever find you pretty" "you're fucking disgusting" which makes me feel scared and disgusted with myself. I've chalked it down to my fixations being my skin, face, hair, and body. It just looks so filthy to me and I can't stop thinking this.

Worse thing is, I'm only making it worse nowadays due to having a nervous tick of picking and scratching the back of my legs. I've gotten that area infected due to that tick three times already. I even contracted mrsa and a staph infection, leading me to be horribly ill. I wish I'd died on my sofa instead of my mother rushing me to the hospital due to said infections.

I hate my body with a burning passion, I hate this so much, I hate having disgusting looking skin, I hate my dopey gross face, I hate having a body that aches all the time, I hate having to take so many medications, I hate that everyone but me in my family has all these horrid bodily afflictions. Why the fuck couldn't I just be normal? I genuinely don't want to live in this body but I can't do anything about it since my older brother is alive. I couldn't do that to him, he doesn't deserve that. If he weren't I would've roped myself a long time ago.

My only saving grace is that I'm able to play off being happy and fine to everyone around me even though I've been living in a constant state of emotional, physical and mental pain for the last 13 years. I don't know how long I can take this.

Apologies for sperging like that.

No. 190052

>>190050
*I hate that everyone but me in my family doesn't have all these horrid bodily afflictions.

No. 190466

I actually cry when I see pictures and videos of pretty women. How pathetic can one be?

No. 190467

>>189813
i mean could he ever truly sing in the first place?

No. 190515

>>189813
Oli's plastic surgeries made him look older, that sucks.

No. 190798

my body dysmorphia has gotten so bad i regularly fear that my boyfriend is secretly gay, because i see my body as so disgusting and masculine theres no way he could genuinely be attracted to it, or hes only attracted to it because im masculine and ugly.

No. 191174

I don't leave the house because of how ugly I feel and recently came to realize how much of my life is shaped because of this; I do online college, chose my career field because it has a stereotype of recluses in it, I have a remote job and I only get groceries at night. In addition I don't have a social life and missed all normal milestones in social relationships, hell the only people I talk to are through Discord. I've been doing this for years, in high school I just sat indoors all day.
I don't know how to cope. I was recently involved in an accident that had me bed-bound but I'm cleared to go out again and I feel like a lost cause. Wondering if anyone else has ideas or resources that could help.

No. 191176

>>189813
I thought this was Brad Mundo

No. 191183

File: 1623268436712.gif (517.17 KB, 500x500, 00bce8de405748cbddcc2a69248961…)

>>191174
I wish I could. I live similarly. I need to sort myself out too. I'm eager to hear anons' ideas. Can you look at your reflection? Anons who struggle with that too, do you have advice?

I followed trauma specialist advice on overcoming fear and accepting ones body, and it helped up to a point and got me out of the house. (You use a tiny mirror to look at a section of the face and body at a time and focus on relaxing; desensitising and building like that over a few weeks until you see yourself fully without extreme fear or anxiety). However, day to day I rely on a REALLY foggy mirror to apply a lot of make-up and otherwise avoid mirrors, window glass, metals. I don't feel suicidal day to day anymore, but feel it intensely if I accidentally catch my reflection. It doesn't help that a lot of woman like to talk about appearance. I actually feel more comfortable around men, they tend not to notice my shit skin either, women will bring it up and offer skincare tips etc. It makes me want to die.

No. 191196

Jesus Christ I just want to give everyone in this thread a cup of tea and a fucking hug. BDD is so brutal.

No. 191512

I'm not officially diagnosed but my psych told me I am psychotic for thinking I'm ugly lol

I wanted to look nice as well. Like ALL the other girls. With their big eyes, plump lips, white teeth, perfect skin. Maybe they have something considered ugly in their face but the other features make up for it and they are just balanced in their beauty. I was sad looking at black girls, asian girls, white girls, latinas. All having some spark, something special which makes them loveable.

And then there is me. Grey and droopy. All features are ok on their own but together it's just a nightmare. Such a nightmare I wanted to jump off a building. Such a nightmare I cried every time looking in the mirror. When people laughed outside I was sure they are laughing about me because I'm so ugly. Other people were lying when telling me I'm pretty.

And then something happened, and no one else but me had any involvement in this happening. Like another anon posted in here, one day I was able to see my own beauty. My own spark. And I hope so much that all of you will be able to do the same one day. You have it in you, if I have it, you have it as well. You are all gorgeous in your own ways.

No. 191850

i feel so gross lately. i've been feeling so bloated and fat. I've lost around 15 lbs this year and once I stopped the diet plan I was on I gained some weight back. i knew that was going to happen and its only a few lbs but the numbers on the scale make me feel disgusting. ever since the diet I've started roughly counting calories in my head everyday. i got down to 145 from 162 and the idea of getting back into the 150's range is painful to think about. it isn't incredibly painful but very much uncomfortable for me to think about

No. 192195

Serious question where's the line between bdd and really low self esteem? Attractive people call me attractive but I try to avoid even thinking about my body because its repulsive like a cadaver or a chicken. The best mindset I can manage to help me leave the house is being okay with being ugly. It seems like everyone else is so happy with their body they post pics on social media, buy lots of outfits Snapchat their faces just to chat etc etc etc and I just can't. But I can't say oh yeah bdd because it's not one feature but if I look at any part of my body I'll see it as flawed and gross and it only gets worse with time as my body gets more and more tiny flaws from damage and aging and I know that if I went down the route of Ps I'd just find my new feature fucked up too. It's embarrassing and tiring for me and anyone Ive ever talked to about it.

No. 192197

>>192195
Samefag but I don't think it's helped by me being a late bloomer and an ugly kid. Late teens I went straight from being bullied for my bad looks to being abused for my "Good looks" sexually and socially so now any opinion on my appearance is unwanted good or bad and I aim to be unprovocative either way

No. 192210

>>192195
Serious answer, go to a therapist if you want to know if you have BDD or not. Don't try to diagnose yourself on the internet. There are a lot of misconceptions about what BDD is or isn't floating around online.

No. 192547

Big hugs to everyone in this thread. BDD is horrible.
I grew up overweight and was the fat kid in school. Constantly made fun of for my weight. When I got out of school, I got down to 100 lbs (Im 5'8) and still thought I was fat. I saw myself as being huge. It wasn't until I went to a therapist that I finally started feeling better about myself. Please seek help. Its worth it!

No. 192649

I have dysphoria about my height among many other things.

I've been tall since a young age, probably 12ish. I'm taller than my sister and my mom and sister have always made passive aggressive comments about my height. I can't remember anything my mom has said though I know she did. my sister would say things like "well I know I can fit in the back seat of that car, but I don't know if you can" and many other things, implying I'm huge and she's cute and smol, of course. she might not have even meant it in a mean way but that's how it felt. not to mention adults at school and other places just making random comments about how tall I am and just going "wow you're so tall".

fast forward to me being in a brief relationship 2 years ago and my boyfriend letting me know that he loved petite girls. he was 6'1 and even though I was still shorter than him I guess that wasn't enough. he would say how he liked to feel dominant and in power and the height difference was really erotic to him and played into his "protector fantasy". and like I have nothing against tall men dating short women but why date me and then let me know that? it's fucking rude. I told him it hurt my feelings and he said I was just being insecure and that it was "a problem I needed to sort out by myself".

I'm over 100lbs overweight and have wanted to be thinner for a long time but it's really hard to find motivation for it, when losing weight won't fix most of the things I hate about my appearance. I stopped caring about my height recently, I even started wearing shoes that made me a bit taller and was all ready to stop drinking soda every day. but then this girl started at my work who is really short and petite and every time I walk past her I feel like a hulking giant and it brought back all my old feelings.

I have an extremely endomorphic body type, and even though I'm tall I have terrible fucking proportions and still look dumpy as hell. there are way more things wrong with my appearance but I won't go into detail because it would make this post way too long. and yes I know losing weight would improve my appearance, but it just doesn't seem like it would improve it enough to be worth it. and no matter how thin I get, there will always be someone shorter and thinner.

and yes I know losing weight would be good for my health, but I have depression and I kind of don't really give much of a shit about my health. the way I see it is, if you wanted to run a marathon but found out you could only ever get 10th place, would you still want to run it? I'll never be beautiful or anything above mildly cute, I feel like I might as well eat and drink what I want. it isn't even so much that I love sugar, it's more that when I go without it I have terrible cravings and it's all I can think about.

No. 192888

I quit social media between 2019-2020. I quit taking selfies and stopped using filters. It has helped my self-esteem immensely. I am currently researching surgeons because I am planning on getting my breast implants removed within the next 9 months at the latest. I can count on two hands the amount of times I have worn makeup this year. I am so proud I have shattered any dysmophia I have struggled with for the past 16 years. I am the happiest and most confident I have ever been. I cannot wait to be all me again. I used to hate every single thing about myself but have learned to see myself with new eyes and I am so thankful.

No. 192889

>>189291
> In my rational brain, I know I am a healthy weight, but my eye just do not see that.
I totally get what you mean. I'm signed with a modeling agency, and clients willl request me by name, but I still feel so completely horrified everytime I get sent to a job. Like I'll show up they'll send me home or just try to make the best of the shoot even though the model is fatter/uglier than they thought she would be. I'm 105 lbs but because of my body type I feel like I look 140

No. 192902

>>192888
Congratulations anon, that's amazing! Wishing you the best of luck on the rest of your journey.

No. 192976

>>192902
Thank you so much, anon. It took 6 years of intensive therapy to get to this point. I kept your kind words in my thoughts while I had a mammogram today. Shit hurts with implants. I can't wait to have these toxic sacks of silicone out of my body.
I wish other women in this thread the best as well. Things do get better with hard work and patience, although it isn't easy.

No. 193249


No. 193254

>>189729
Sorry, idk wtf I’m doing with this site/format. I’m 30 and clearly ancient and stupid. I jest. I just had to respond to you after reading so many of these sad stories. My heart goes out to you all. I never had BDD, but I definitely let my outward appearance determine how I felt about myself. I gained like 30lbs after I graduated from college and felt like utter shit about myself. But it was good in a way because when I was in HS, I was considered very attractive and I recognize that “pick me” mindset clearly now. Yikes. Gaining weight stripped me of that and I had to focus on hobbies and my work. It took me like 5 years post-graduation to realize that I let the outside world dictate my opinion of myself. I let the idea of other people’s perceptions of me dictate how much I valued myself, and that is just shit! It wasn’t so much that I hated myself because people didn’t find me attractive, it was more like I didn’t see any value in myself UNLESS I was offering someone something, whether it was looks, talent, whatever. I wish everyone here could separate themselves from their bodies a bit and realize that you’re all worthy of self respect and that’s the thing that matters most. Once you can see that, you can begin to love yourself. It’s a process though. I wish you ALL the best.

No. 193271

I envy you girls who are considered attractive by most people but just had to learn to see it. I got bullied and laughed at and looked at with disgusting faces because I turned out looking really messed up and it only got worse over time. I wish I wasn't aware of how fucked I look. I can't even wear lipstick because my extreme overbite and shit teeth overall make my mouth deformed and looks like I've had a stroke and whatnot.

No. 193305

>>193271
I know your pain baby gorl

No. 194601

>>192888
This is a really huge accomplishment. Good for you, anon. It's great to even just know that this is possible.

No. 209511

My friends and family keep seeing me as some kind of muscular guy even if I'm not that buffed and even if I'm normal with some muscles it doesn't get rid of the fact that I'm short thus invisible to women's eyes. I don't really cope with it I'm more blackpill in a sense that they are all lying to me and that my fate is saddled(nobody cares, male)

No. 209525

>>209511
I don't get this. Have you never seen a short guy with a gf before? I know plenty of short dudes who are in relationships and I know one 2 m dude who has trouble finding a gf because he’s so tall.

No. 209529

>>192649

Wow, Anon. You sound a lot like me. I feel like us tall girls get dealt a shitty awkward hand growing up. As a kid I went to a small school and I felt so out of place because there were no boys my age taller than me. It was even more distressing for me as I was also the youngest in the year so it made me feel like a huge alien.

I also dated a shitty guy who loved petite girls and negged me about it nonstop. It doesn't help that I'm also Asian, and you know Asian people are generally petite. I, on the other hand, am hairy, tall and have a really wide frame with large feet and hands.

I feel like all tall women have gone through something similar to some varying degrees and I wish I had a tall BFF who I can go shopping with and relate over struggling to find cute shoes/clothes in our side and lock arms together easily. I love my short friends but we can't lock arms without me bending down and feeling weird.

After dating that boy, I actually started to love my height. During the relationship I faked some confidence about my height since I loved the way high waisted jeans looked on me and began wearing heels more often. Although I did love my height, I did still feel awkwardly large in frame (something I can't control) which is what spiraled me into an eating disorder where I started restricting to 1200 calories a day, which led to halving that, halving that until I was fasting for days. I got thinner but I still hated myself for having the frame of a Slavic milk maid. This sort of thing wasn't very sustainable, and I remember an online boy meeting me IRL once told me that I'm not as tiny as he thought. That really made me feel so inadequate when I think he actually meant to say that to reassure me because he would joke that he'd dwarf me when we met.

Now it's 5+ years from then and I am 12kg heavier than my old 18 year old set-point which puts me at 26 BMI. I learned about going all in through Stephanie Buttermore and I thought that was what I had to do to stop obsessing over food so much. It helped a little but I just got fat. I also never weighed myself until 3 days ago which is when I bought a scale since I wanted to know how big I was. I had already been dieting for around 2 weeks, so I probably was ~15kg heavier than I was used to which is sort of shocking to me.

I feel so conflicted. I'm clearly slipping back into my ED behaviors but the number on the scale tells me I'm overweight so I should continue dieting, right? Everyday I feel a bit of pride seeing the number on the scale drop. I check the old weight loss calculators I loved and reminisce about how much smaller I'll be in x months time.

The appearance of my body really disgusts me but it seems like I may not be as overweight as my BMI puts me at. I can still fit into my jeans and other clothes no problem so I don't know if my large frame has blessed me in this one respect. I don't know how much I weighed when I was with my ex, I suspect I was around the same? He told me I was thin. Maybe it was him saying what I want to hear but he was only slightly taller than I and was also around 26 BMI. In comparison to me, he had a gut while I have a pouch of fat.

It's confusing to me. When people see me do they see a massive freak of nature Asian woman or do they just see me and think I'm just an average tall lady.

I hope I'll be happier by the end of the year.

No. 209562

>>191183
I also struggle to look in mirrors. I have periods of avoiding them entirely, but other times I just try to keep it dim in the room when I look.

Ive tried to work on it, but the only time I made progress was when I tried looking in a mirror on acid. I heard you're not supposed to do that, but I really wanted to see. Was shocking, I looked totally fine. None of the stuff I usually nitpick was noticeable. I felt amazing for a while after, but it faded and now I'm back to struggling with mirrors.

No. 209566

>>209525
I have, but he got hooked up with a girl who loved sleeping around, she really liked sex.(ban-evading)

No. 209798

i dont like looking at myself in the mirror. especially without makeup. i only take selfies with an asian selfie apps to change my face shape along with makeup. thats the only way i feel pretty. im deeply insecure and i dont think ill ever be able to have a healthy romantic relationship because of it. i cant stand the thought of my s/o finding another girl more attractive than me. and ill always be worried if he thinks im ugly. ill probably die a virgin too because i hate how my body looks i dont want anyone to see it. i dont want to get better because i feel like i dont deserve to. id only feel better if i was actually pretty. i wish i could just been born pretty. its just not fair

No. 209984

I don't have BDD but I do have some serious insecurities and similar experiences to anons in this thread. I was a happy kid looks wise, since I grew up in the nineties before selfies and too much photoshop (I really feel for young girls growing up in today's selfie age) my only issue was that my legs were already hairy by the age of 10. I didn't think of how I looked otherwise, I was busy being a kid. by the time I started puberty things changed though, I developed severe acne. I had the worst acne in my year at school and it completely destroyed my self confidence. I also got hairier, so much hairier. I always say puberty didn't do shit for me other than give me hair and acne. I just became the ugly girl. I also hated the amount of moles on my skin and never showed by body. I hated being in my own skin, always wore long sleeves and never shorts even when it was really warm.

I basically lived this way until I was 17 and grew into my looks a little more, acne calmed down too but never cleared, even through my 20s. I've had acne for over half my life and in my early thirties now, due to a hormone issue I still have acne. it causes me such stress. every morning I dread looking in the mirror and seeing what new monstrosity may have appeared on my face. my hormone problem also causes hair growth on my face, I pluck my chin everyday and obsessively so. my chin is usually scabbed up and red raw from the skin getting picked during plucking and ingrown hairs. my sideburns grow in very dark and long too, I shave those. the fact that I have to shave my face daily kills me inside. I feel so unfeminine and disgusting especially with acne too and now, being in my early thirties, the signs of ageing setting in a little.

I'm unwell in other ways too so my overall appearanc is…. bad, most of the time. I look ill because I am ill. I find it hard to look at people sometimes for fear they will see stubble on my face or just look at my fine lines, dark undereyes and acne. I also get acne breakouts on my back which is stressful. all the stress only makes my acne worse and the depression too has meant I've lost most of my appetite and barely eat. I'm underweight, like a bag of bones and look so so unwell. I feel so unattractive and ugly. seeing pretty girls on television with their hairless faces, nice skin and glowing alive looking eyes makes me sad. I want to be pretty and to look bright and cheerful and attractive but I'm just… not.

one last thing though after this huge long sperg, apps with filters are fucking awful. I wont allow myself to use them. seeing the filter appear and liking the result then pressing to disable it and your real face coming back into view is dreadful. delete that shit. delete it now.

No. 209994

>>209529
>>192649
I hope both of you never let your sense of self be altered by the guys your with. I find tall girls to be beautiful. Having a presence in an elegant and powerful way, less likely to be messed with. I’m pretty average (5’8) and still cross by fingers that by the time in 19 I’ll be a little taller.

Anyway. Dogs can smell fear, insecurity. So can males. I know a girl with a strong, biggish nose who walks like she matters, puts herself first, dresses up, and acts like she’s worthy, in a kind way. If she looked at the ground and hid herself, she would be perceived as uglier- but because she believes she’s beautiful, other people believe it. If guys sense you’re insecure about something they will use it against you. Please don’t let that happen. Plus, the ‘tall vampire lady’ sperging of 2020 should tell you enough. I would seriously jump for joy if I woke up tall kek.

No. 210034

>>189175
This might be a sperg-tier question, but it genuinely really confuses me..
When girls wear cropped shirts and have flat stomachs with super toned muscles underneath, is it because they're sucking in?

No. 210041

>>210034
If you see toned muscles irl then they work out to get them that way. Sucking in, warming up and posing helps to emphasize your muscle but it won't work if you're flabby. You can't trust any abs you see on the internet tho kek.

No. 214240

This might sound weird, maybe even tone deaf but I grew up rail thin. I’ve always been scrawny. My insecurities started when someone told me I had “no ass” in middle school which was around when the “thicc” trend came in. I also hate my nose so much. I feel like it’s so masculine and huge. I constantly contour it, I don’t contour my cheeks or forehead I just do my nose, i feel like it makes me look witchy

No. 214268

sorry for scroteposting but getting a bf who genuinely loves me and calls me beautiful everyday has done actual miracles to my dysmorphia and self hatred.

No. 216036

File: 1638681762021.png (80.71 KB, 200x200, tumblr_ojmu58fYjA1voqnhpo2_250…)

I used to like sex, and my body image didn't get in the way of me getting naked and enjoying it. But lately, my body dysmorphia has caught up to me, and I can't even masturbate without my brain interrupting me. I deleted tinder completely awhile ago. I don't want a stranger seeing me naked, especially after a couple of experiences where men made hurtful comments about my body afterwards (such as liking chubby girls because they're "low maintenance"). I definitely can't watch porn, I'm too distracted by the women's bodies and how they look nothing like mine. Whenever I try to get myself in the mood with a sexual fantasy, my brain just cuts me off, reminding me that I don't deserve those features in a partner. It's so frustrating. I just want to heal and I don't know how.

No. 216050

>>216036
Well, I'd recommend you trying drugs(no seriously, it helped me a lot), I do mephedrone, it's not addictive, and it really removes all the distracting thoughts, you can just feel yourself horny and give in to pleasure. It also helps me get open up to my partner about my desires.

No. 216053

>>216050
you can become emotionally dependent on a substance even if it isn't chemically addicting, nonny

No. 216054

Somehow taking up a hobby really distracted me. i would nitpick things about my body mainly face everyday to the point of crying. covered the mirrors, was mortified when friends would take out the cameras, the whole drill kek. Every damn conversation was a trigger, i used to analyze every girl’s features and sometimes men and feel like shit i thought i looked abnormal compared to others. However when i got into that hobby, little by little it took my attention away from it and i started to heal. i chopped my hair off because i never really liked it long and it was inconvenient but i didn’t want to show my face. I also threw away all my makeup, for me personally i mainly wore it out of insecurity. Its so much freeing, but i still regret how i wasted years of my youth obsessing over such bullshit thats fleeting anyway

No. 216225

I get so tired when other women I know tell me I'm pretty. I know I'm not pretty. It hurt to realize when I was a teenager, but then I reassessed and focused on my positive traits. I'm not hideous, but I'm not and will never be conventionally attractive. I was bullied about it all through high school.

My friend is a professional cosplayer, and she was begging me to join her. I said I'd be happy to go as a gag character from the series the character she was cosplaying as was from, and she pouted and said "Anon. You're not ugly. You're pretty!" and it was just so annoying. I used to struggle so much with my appearance when I was younger. Taking something like cosplay seriously would make me feel so bad about myself again. I don't go around calling myself ugly all the time, I'm not bitter, I just don't want to focus so much on it, and I don't want people to act like that's tragic.

No. 216261

>>216225
Listen to your friend you dumbass. "Pretty" does not have a set definition and it definitely does not mean "a person who is conventionally attractive". If you don't want to cosplay, don't but don't assume everyone is lying to you when you are just insecure and average at worst.

No. 217546

File: 1639563148641.jpg (12.43 KB, 590x332, mirror.jpg)

Does anyone else's BDD make them feel like they look like a different person every few days? I'm finally in a spot where I am somewhat neutral with my body and I don't spend much time obsessing over it. My face on the other hand is a whole different story. I also feel like I look sort of okay from certain angles but once I turn my face too much to the side I'm unrecognizable. My face is a shapeless blob, I look like a gremlin.
I used to be obsessed with my side profile and would cry about it for hours but I don't think it looks that bad anymore, it's just the 3/4th turn that makes me feel think I look like an unrecognizable moonface. I understand it's irrational, I clearly can't look like a disgusting gremlin based on positive reactions I've gotten RE: my appearance. But that means nothing to me because I'm not happy with how I look. I feel so hopeless in this regard.

No. 217555

File: 1639564546465.jpeg (34.24 KB, 318x318, 0189CD3A-FAF0-4E9F-9CCA-056F27…)

I hate being fat and I hate having large boobs.Even before puberty I’ve hated the idea of having large breasts.I desperately want to go and workout or run out on a track.I’m fucking sick of feeling the fat in my body when I move and contort.But because of my situation and the amount of shit going on in my life,I don’t even have time for it.I’m so tired,I want a thigh gap,I want to stop feeling the need to throw up after every meal,I want to not feel utter disgust whenever I look at myself in the mirror.

No. 217587

>>217546
>Does anyone else's BDD make them feel like they look like a different person every few days?
Yeah. I had this dumb shit for decades and considered myself BDD-free for almost two years up until now, but I've been getting symptoms again over the past few days due to stress, one of them being that I can't pin down how my face looks at the moment. Usually I was focused on one or two features at a time but right now I can't even pick out something to obsess over because every time I look in the mirror it looks different. It's like a blob. Like an alien trying to fit random human face pieces together for human taxidermy. I hate this autistic ass disorder. Give me my hot face back damn it! I thought I was rid of this shit!

No. 218181

>>216036

Sigh. I can really relate to this

No. 218203

>>217546
I think I “got over it” by just making my peace with my brain. A few years ago I had to cover up the mirrors but it’s better now. If I just keep in mind that I can’t trust my perception, it’s not so bad. I have no idea what I actually look like, but knowing won’t change it.

I don’t spend too much time analyzing in the mirror though. More than 20 seconds and I can watch my face morph into something completely grotesque and inhuman. I put on makeup as objectively as possible for the face in front of me and get on with it.

No. 218215

>>218203
this is how i deal with it, yes. i look at individual features when i put on makeup and i tend to wear makeup that suits it, like just eyeliner and lipstick. i think contouring would be more difficult because you need to be able to look at your whole face.
and then i just stop mirror checking. all together. i accept that i look how i look and i cant do anything more and then i just try not to think about it, feels like im physically pushing the thoughts away from me

No. 218248

I come from a culture that idealizes the curvy body type, it also happens to be a very common body type that naturally occurs among women of this cultural background. The women in my own family have thick thighs and wide hips across the board. As an ectomorph I always felt like an outlier. I think I have a pretty face and nice proportions, my titties and my butt are small but perky, my waist is small so it creates an hourglass look even though my figure is generally quite narrow. I understand that there are people out there who would prefer to have this profile, but personally all I ever wanted was to be pear shaped. Several times people have presumed that I have an eating disorder. I'm fit, I eat a healthy diet, I just can't seem to put on weight, and even if I did there's no guarantee that it would go to my butt, hips and thighs like I want it to. I realize that many women tend to struggle with the opposite problem and I empathize with that, I can't deny how much this continues to impact on my self esteem though. So many times I felt like I was less of a woman just because I'm the skinny one. I hate having my picture taken because of it. Sometimes it's the only thing I can think about when I go out, instead of being in the moment I get stuck wondering whether it's the first thing that people notice when they see me and it makes me feel humiliated. I don't wanna be seen as frail and sick. I even get paranoid that I look boyish. I think that the pressure to be sexy and the view that curves = sexy is misogynistic bullshit, I know I shouldn't let it get under my skin and that there's beauty in many different body types, I just hate that I sometimes feel diminished as a person because of something that I didn't choose and can't really change.

No. 218256

>>218248
Where are you from anon?

No. 218260

>>218256
Sadly I am latin american

No. 218316

>>218260
You need to understand that you objectively look good and are undoubtedly healthy no matter what they say, your body is an evolutionary blessing and less likely to gain unnecessary weight, you have a small waist which means you wont get abdominal fat easily and you have a slender, graceful hourglass figure, you don't have to buy into the curvy standard, women like you fit much more tasteful, fashionable outfits, think on what actually fits your body instead of wanting to be something you're not, because this will only make people notice it even more, romanticize your unique body, take advantage of it and use the clothes nobody else is capable of pulling off. Years ago people used to think bbls and extreme makeup were too much and now it's all over instagram and its the standard today, but it's because these women show off their beauty with confidence and self-assuredness, they make others notice their strengths instead of their flaws, and now, instead of seeing a disgusting, caricature-looking woman, they see an insta-baddie and yasss queen them, basically, like anon here >>209994 said, if you act like you're worthy of respect and believe you're beautiful, nobody will be able to change your mind and they'll eventually fall for it too, this is the reason beauty standards always change. (inb4 someone suddenly crawls out of the woodwork claiming what I said is superficial/lookist but honestly fuck off this is a body dysmorphia thread and I'm just giving advice, of course I'm goin to acknowledge beauty standards)

No. 224257

I think I have bdd. I can't form objective opinions about my face but I want to make changes and become more attractive by grooming my brows, doing makeup and doing my hair.
It all sounds nice and easy but since I can't figure out how I look, it's hard to find hair or makeup styles that fit me. Do any of you have advice? Should I ask my friends or maybe people who work at stores like mac and sephora to help me with a makeup look that'll flatter my face?
Thank you

No. 224277

>>224257
Not knowing what kind of makeup is flattering on you or knowing what your face/eye shape is, isn't BDD. One requirement for a BDD diagnosis is that your obsession and compulsions related to your perceived ugliness cause severe disruptions to your life, such as failing to take care of your basic responsibilities because you don't want people to see you or because you caught a look at yourself in the mirror, or spending beyond your means in your attempts to make yourself appear normal, or becoming a plastic surgery addict. Be glad you aren't this type of retard, anon. And talking with a makeup professional should help you out with your very normal problem.

No. 224287

>>224257
Just try shit out, how is that hard? Try different makeup styles and placement, follow different tutorials, pick different colors.

No. 224289

I used to have really nasty body dysmorphia about my thighs since no matter how much weight I dropped they were still too 'large' for my liking, i.e. not like the rail-thin lookbook girls from the early 2010s. When I looked in the mirror, all I could see was my legs, and I would obsessively analyse other girls' legs in public and compare them to mine. There was a girl I hated in school for no reason other than her thighs were thicker than mine but she still had a thigh gap (she was a dancer, go figure). Working out a lot and taking up a sport kinda helped, since I realized that not eating enough was affecting my performance and making me stagnate. I finally succeeded in gaining enough weight to put me at my healthy goal weight recently, and even though I thought I'd look like a schlubby, skinnyfat loser at this weight, I still look muscular and toned. Fancy that. The thing I still struggle with, though, is my face and my hair. I have pretty thin hair from nutrient deficiencies and stress, and I'm extremely vigilant about never letting the back of my head be seen because my parting is kind of obvious there and I hate it. On days when it's really bad, I cancel my plans and refuse to leave the house, but when I look at it on a calmer day, it's never as bad as I thought it was. Part of the reason my last relationship ended was because I kept sperging about my hair, but that relationship was so shitty I honestly think the stress was making it even worse. I ended up dropping a ton of money on haircare and skincare products, only to realize that most of them are superfluous. At the same time though, researching which ingredients and formulations are effective has saved me money and helped me get back into reading scientific papers and articles like I used to before my appearance obsession took over my life, so it's not all bad. Oddly enough, makeup has helped me appreciate my features more, and after cleaning up my brows and fixing my skincare I feel much more confident going out without makeup. It helps if I think of it like face paint or stage makeup, and not like a mask I must wear to be pretty.

No. 224305

File: 1642451217033.jpg (294.97 KB, 1365x2048, Tumblr_l_1323037196398488.jpg)

Ok, not sure how to concisely
describe my experience without some backstory, but I'm wondering  if  body dysmorphia still applies If you think your "appearance is acceptable"? Anyways

>Be sole negro. in 99% caucasoid

environment
>Be retarded child so just try & ignore/deny this fact by never looking in the mirror, avoided pictures as well, this becomes a habit
>Recently look in mirror again, can't recognise myself at all. I also have vitiligo so it completely looks like a different person
>phobia got infinitely worse, >started developing weird schizoisms like constantly thinking about harming myself so I was recognisable, that there's another person in my house, that I have multiple personalities, avoiding all reflections so my hygienes even worse etc. Etc.

My family has a history of psychotic disorder I don't want to get excluded from military service by getting a medical history so what would be a good diy bandaid for this. I've tried staring at myself for hours but it just freaks me out even more

No. 224311

>>224277
Thank you. I've had self image issues about my nose since I was 11 because my parents always told me I needed to get ps, got rhinoplasty and still hate the way it looks, even my family members who had told me to get the surgery are now telling me it looks bad and it's been bothering me for a while. I thought a haircut or makeup could maybe change my thoughts about my looks. I want a secondary rhinoplasty but am very scared it's going to end up even worse, it just looks weird but not too bad, what if I truly get botched?
I do obsess over my face sometimes and get very upset about unflattering pictures to the point of obsessively thinking about them for a few weeks. I don't know if I have bdd but I related to some stuff stated here.
Thank you for your help nona.

No. 224315

>>224305
Military service is a BS career where your government serves you up a heaping spoonful of PTSD and injuries before dumping you on the street outside a Walmart with a cardboard sign and packed shopping cart. And you seem like you do have psychiatric problems that you need to address. Get looked at before you have a crisis.

No. 224318

Right okay I've never been diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder but I'm 99% sure that's what I have, I'm 18 currently but I've hated my appearance since about 13. I kept getting told by family and friends that "it'll get easier the older you get" but if anything it's gotten worse. I can't really pinpoint what I dislike particularly about myself, it's pretty much everything. I could make a whole list. Sorry to sound depressing or whatever, but it has swallowed me and I feel I've missed out on many things in my teen life because of the depression, anxiety and social anxiety that hating my appearance caused for me. I've been in therapy for a few years but it never helped, I always feel like people are lying to me to make me feel better. I've tried everything to help myself that doesn't involve surgery or other drastic measures, but the 'love yourself' thing does not do anything for me. I was never bullied about my appearance, it's more of a thing I've just developed myself. Maybe I'm just a perfectionist or something. The number one thing I hate about myself is my nose. It has a bump in it and the tip is quite bulbous. I have small boobs too. Neither of these things I find remotely ugly on others, but for myself it's different, so please don't think I'm saying that either of these features are negative. It's hard to explain. Anyway, massive rant, idrk what I'm expecting by posting this, I just have no one to talk to because I don't want to discuss any of this with my friends or family because I'll feel like a great burden and they think I'm doing fine (I'm great at acting and holding it in). At this point I think I'll just pursue surgery. I can't see any other way.

No. 224348

>>224318
Your post stuck out to me because I used to be just like you. Hiding from my friends and family, hating myself, feeling insecure and burdensome to the point that I eventually became a suicidal shut in. What saved my life was finally being honest with my loved ones. You have to open up to the support system that you already have. Tell them your true feelings and don't hold back. You want them to tell you the truth, too, don't you? TBH therapy probably didn't work for you because you were dishonest there as well. It's very important that you have a therapist that you actually trust, respect, and believe in. I understand how horrifying it is to come clean about your mental state especially when you've been hiding for so long, but you can't run away from your problems forever.
>I kept getting told by family and friends that "it'll get easier the older you get" but if anything it's gotten worse
You're only 18. Your brain is nowhere near fully developed. When they say age makes it easier, they mean like 22-24 onwards, honestly more like 30+. However, because you are still so young, that means that if you're brave and confront your problems early, you will have a long, happy, healthy life ahead of you.
Lies are so poisonous, they will consume you from the inside out. You don't need to be a great actor. You need to be honest with yourself and others to start dismantling these destructive beliefs about your worth and your appearance.

No. 224354

Has anyone else found that it's so much easier to be out in public with a mask on? I don't know if I have BDD or what, but I'm ugly as fuck and have avoided talking to people or leaving the house since I was a kid because I felt so embarrassed when people saw my face. I already knew that my looks were fucking up my life to an extent, but it's crazy how much more confident I am when I go out with a mask, I'm actually able to go out places and do basic things like in-person classes. On one hand it's been nice to finally be able to leave the house without feeling ashamed but on the other hand readjusting is going to really suck when wearing masks is no longer socially acceptable. Maybe I'll just keep wearing one anyway kek

No. 224363

>>224348
That's literally me right now, a suicidal shut-in. It doesn't help that my uni is online this month, before I at least went outside to go to lectures but now I only go outside for like a daily walk and even then I don't make eye contact with the 2 or so people I see on that walk and as I'm walking past them I'm imagining them looking at me and thinking how ugly she is. Even around my family I worry about how they're perceiving me, it's so fucking sad. I used to be a social butterfly and then once I became aware of my appearance it feels like I've become a shell of a human being, and I'm only 18. Enough is enough, I'm going to try my best to seek therapy and be honest with them and with my family and friends. I'm super glad that you've managed to overcome a lot of this. Hope you're doing well.

>>224354
Yes nona. Yes. Masks have made it so much worse because it gives me the option to cover most of my face and it gives me so much confidence to the point I even feel sometimes 'hot' because my face is my biggest insecurity. When I'm wearing a mask it's like a shield for judgement. I've worn it outside even just for the fact that I prefer myself with it on, nothing to do with safety. It's so bad, I am dreading when masks aren't socially acceptable to wear anymore, I've become so dependent on them. I would definitely say you have BDD from reading everything you've said

No. 224455

>>189175
i take spironolactone and it helps with acne and facial/body hair
it's not just for tranners, it's used to treat facial hair and acne in high-T ugly bitches like me

No. 263347

File: 1652373692606.jpg (69.73 KB, 1024x835, E33jbZtWQAE8RER.jpg)

When I see myself in the mirror, I think I look okay (sometimes good, even), but I absolutely hate how I look in pictures. Yesterday we had a graduation event, so my friends took a bunch of pictures and sent them to me today. I can't help but look at myself and think that I am so ugly. I look huge next to my friends, my face is flat and round, my cheeks have absolutely no definition, my eyes are so small, etc.

Sometimes I get mixed messages though. A few days ago I had a meeting with a teacher and she told me "I think this is the first time I've seen you without a mask, but you're really pretty. Not sure if that's weird for me to say." A few months ago a girl walked by and yelled that she thought I was pretty and same thing happened when I went to a concert recently. Do people just say things like that to be nice without meaning it? I guess I just shouldn't care much about how I look anyway since if I'm ugly it's not like I can do anything about it. Most of the time I'm good at just being neutral about how I look, but my god whenever I see pictures of myself it is so soul-crushing whenever I see how I look. I imagine that is how everyone else must see me and then I think that there isn't any point to even trying to look nice anymore since I'd just look awful either way.

No. 263365

My father bought one of those heinous digital photo frames and now I'm forced to walk by it all the time. I look hideous in every single third person picture that's been taken of me since I was 12. I want to tell him to remove the pictures of me from the library.

My sister was always extremely skinny and photogenic, like our mother. To the day even with hideous blonde dye that ages her, she looks better than me. I can look okay in selfies but in real life photos taken from a third persons perspective i look like a goblin. The only acceptable photos I have of me from that perspective are ones my friends have taken. Even in selfies I'm convinced sometimes I look ugly as sin. It's madness. I'm not that hideous when I look in the mirror. Depends on my sliding scale self esteem. Sometimes my body to me looks like peak rose mcgowan and then I come down and realize how fat and flabby and ill proportioned it is. How my hips jut out at awkward angles, how nothing ever fits me right. How my eyes are too big on camera and in the mirror but squinty in photos. I'm like a shapeshfting abomination of a person. I haven't looked good since I was a child. My genetics doomed me to looking like my father. This is why I shouldn't exist.

No. 263374

My mom once Facetuned a photo of me without my permission that she posted on her social media so yeah I think that sums up how I feel about my appearance.

No. 263376

>>263347
No people donät say stuff like that to be nice. No one has ever told me I am pretty, not even guys I dated. Us ACTUALLY ugly people get "you are cute" at best.

Good for you.

No. 263390

bump cp

No. 263397

>>224455
Super late but does spiro help for other feminizations too?
I hate the troon argument of how the ebil cis can get gender reaffirming surgeries. No we can't. If you're a masculine woman you can't get Starbucks insurance and call it a day. Cosmetic stuff is out of pocket always. I hate how women can't take HRT safely unless they are menopausal.
My BD got really bad a few years ago when I realized how ugly I actually am. I thought I was one of those cases where if I cleaned up a bit I'd turn into a swan. Nope. Just really unfortunate facial anatomy and body type, you can't fix that with hair and makeup.
I began to overthink all my interactions with males and their passivity towards me, just thinking how things may be different if I were actually pretty, or oh this person is acting this way because I'm not pretty enough. It's awful being trapped in a body the rest of the world is forced to see every day. Being a shut in has helped at least kek

No. 263410

>>224315
>Military service is a BS career where your government serves you up a heaping spoonful of PTSD and injuries
that usually happens to guys who join the army or marines with no goal in mind, they just want to kill.
air force/navy is more rewarding and can teach you actual an actual trade that you can apply after your service ends.

No. 263412

>>263365
>My genetics doomed me to looking like my father.
FUCKING SAME. I pray for all the girls that inherit their fathers face.
meanwhile my brother got my moms pointy nose and angel skull.

No. 263418

>>263365
>My genetics doomed me to looking like my father

I feel this nonna. When I take progress pictures of myself all I can see is my fathers face, I'm the only sibling with his eyes and I feel like I am just built so masculine. Before i terfed out i was almost convinced I should have just become a troon because not a single part of me suited being feminine or it just didn't feel right, my body and face took "wow you look like your dad!" to the next level.
thing is he wasn't even ugly, he was quite handsome, but that didn't translate well on to the face and body of a very petite young woman. just looks weird.

No. 263446

>>263412
>>263418
My father has more effeminate features for a man, he's far from ugly but I'm unhappy I inherited his large, straight eyebrows and eyes. I've seen anons on here and in general say that white women with straight dark eyebrows look mannish or neanderthalish and it doesn't make me feel better about myself at all. there are so few women in media in entertainment with naturally straight eyebrows who don't get a drastic eyebrow lift or shaping. it's so disheartening

my sister looks like a clone of my mom, who used to print model, and I have my dads awkward dorky overly emphasized upper face, weird eyes, straight brows. it sucks ass. my eyes are both my best and worst feature. I feel like my entire upper face is overwhelming and photographs badly, and it's all my dads fault.

No. 263462

>>263397
Same. I hate that stupid troons get “gender affirming” facial feminization surgery for absolutely free, meanwhile if I want something like a nose job, I have to pay out of pocket. Your looks can affect how far you go and how people perceive you, so I don’t see why not it’s also free to women.

No. 263466

>>263446
>I've seen anons on here and in general say that white women with straight dark eyebrows look mannish or neanderthalish and it doesn't make me feel better about myself at all.

Wow, I did not need to hear this. If it makes you feel better, nonnie, I have this feature too.

On another note, I wish I could post a picture of myself on here and get brutally honest consensus on my looks from other anons. I want to know how I actually stand on a 1-10 scale on average, what vibes I give off, etc., and I think nonnies would give it to me straight. Ofc I won’t because that would be retarded.

No. 263469

File: 1652414314149.jpeg (42.38 KB, 549x600, Каннский кинофестиваль в фото…)

>>263446
>>263466
wait what
unless you have a very round face or something, arched brows are never a good look. otherwise arched brows will give you a long face.
straight brows give you a more innocent sleepy (but cute) look. I've always associated arched brows with trannies and drag queens.
thick, dark, straight brows will always be so much more beautiful to me. I have naturally arched brows but I draw them straight to make my face rounder lmao

No. 263479

many things I dislike about my body and face and always been either treated as invisible or bullied, never had a IRL boyfriend or been approached except as part of a cruel bet in primary school, only get complimented by old women once every few years. Been confused for a man multiple times. When I chased men, I got rejected, stood up or the only thing they would consider me worthy of is a one night stand pump and dump. My physical type are dark haired dark eyed men of my ethnicity but I come from a safe hating culture where people are dark but they have an obsession with blue eyes and blonde hair. So even if I had good symmetry and proportions I'd still not be their dream girl because of my dark eyes
The thing that irritates me the most about my appearance is my face shape and facial proportions. They make me look masculine and crude. I'd really like to have jaw surgery to change this but I know I'll never have those cute short heart shaped faces that feminine girls like Kendall Jenner have.

No. 263481

>>263469
Arched brows look perfect on Megan fox who has a long face. I don't think thick straight brows suit anyone, even men. It brings their face down, especially if your features are downturned as well.
>>263479
You sound obsessed and autistic, the way you speak about beauty reminds me of those lookism channels or incel forums. Also symmetry obsession is so stupid. Asymmetry makes you more memorable if it's a healthy amount and most people, yes even celebs with a ton of beauty procedures, don't have symmetrical faces.
You should get highlights for your hair and maybe get it to a lighter brown/dark blond and you could experiment with natural looking contact lenses if you like. Surgery should be last resort if you ask me as a haircut and make up can actually change you more than a surgery can if chosen right.
Also getting a fit if you're overweight is also going to make a huge difference too. A fit girl will be considered attractive no matter her other features as long as she's not super ugly, which I'm sure you're not.

No. 263482

>>263481
I'm fit

No. 263485

File: 1652426468476.jpg (694.72 KB, 2024x1024, Untitled-1.jpg)

>>263446
>white women with straight dark eyebrows look mannish or neanderthalish
lmao anon, some of the most beautiful women in the world have straigh dark brows
I agree with this anon >>263469, straight brows shorten long faces, whereas arched brows lengthen them

No. 263486

>>263446
>I've seen anons on here and in general say that white women with straight dark eyebrows look mannish or neanderthalish
Losers. They’re mad because their Nigel is thirsting after a sexy brunette babe with straight natural brows. Let them seethe. also I love how twitterfagesque it is, “I can say whatever offensive thing about women as long as I add WHITE beforehand!” I will never take what anons say personally. A lot of them are full of shit and miserable neets.

No. 263487

>>263482
If you're fit, you're already pretty, imo. Even an average or below average face with a fit body is more attractive than a fat beautiful woman. You could still try different hairstyles and haircolors that go well with your skintone.
>>263486
>They’re mad because their Nigel is thirsting after a sexy brunette babe with straight natural brows.
Nta but this makes you sound like the loser. You don't need to compete with women or try to steal their men just because they dared to disagree with you.

No. 263488

I was born with huge bat ears and had a surgery to stick them to my head when i was 8. It was one of the worst pains i ever experienced but it helped, i wasn't bullied because of my ears. I was still ashamed of them for so long anways. My mother forced me to wear a ponytail for a couple of years so i was constantly thinking about other people looking at my ears. Then i got acne and have it till this day. Nothing helped me and i tried everything. I couldn't even really wear makeup because of it. I was feeling like a zombie my whole teenage years. People were constantly pointing out my acne. Nobody ever called me pretty, not even boys who wanted to date me. Only after i bleached my hair i got 2 compliments. I was never feeling very feminine so i had androgynous look in high school and uni. Kinda like a nonbinary person but without the pronouns cringe.
In my 20's i started to care less about how i look, i realized people ain't shit. What matters is what i do, not what i look like. And to me, i don't mind looking like i have a skin disease anymore, i don't mind going outside without makeup, i can wear my hair in a bun and i rock that onion look. It's fascinating what your brain maturing does to your self image. What i think helped apart from the brain changing it's priorities is better environment. I wasn't at home much when i started to change, so my critical mother didn't have many opportunities to jab at me. Also the appretiation of being alive. I was never a healthy person but i always managed to survive, i went a long way from being a suicidal wreck to someone who treasures my life even with the health problems i have. From nature's point of view i'm beautiful like any other creature. I wish everybody who thinks they are ugly could feel like this, it's freeing. Psychedelics helped me a tiny little bit too becuase they reinforced the feeling of unity with the nature around me, and the meaninglesness of being sad about your physical form.

No. 263491

>>263397
>thought I was one of those cases where if I cleaned up a bit I'd turn into a swan. Nope. Just really unfortunate facial anatomy and body type, you can't fix that with hair and makeup.
And everyone will gaslight you about it and insist that if you just try this style or this make-up or this aesthetic, or this haircut, maybe you'll suddenly be feminine and beautiful. They won't just accept that some women like that exist. I wish that instead of it being seen as ugly, that handsome women were allowed to exist. I think people have definitely been memed into thinking anything but hyperfeminine and dainty features are ugly. Or maybe I'm the egotistical one for wanting all of society to change. When I started leaning into the masculinity, I actually started looking more feminine and people will never understand that. I don't know if they're retarded and think that dressing feminine will always make you look more feminine, but it can actually contrast and make everything masculine stand out. The other way around, wearing more masculine clothes and having a masculine haircut, can make feminine features stand out by contrast. That's at least how I deal with it. It makes things look more intentional instead of just looking like a goblin.
>>263365
>My genetics doomed me to looking like my father.
Family members have commented how I have the typical face of males in my family. They think it's funny to hang up childhood pictures of mine next to childhood pictures of my fathers and uncles, due to the resemblance even then. It seems like the only things I inherited from my mother were her hands, feet and lips. It doesn't even feel like BDD because of how many people irl comment on it. I don't think it's just brainrot from being on here for too long.
>>263418
>Before i terfed out i was almost convinced I should have just become a troon because not a single part of me suited being feminine or it just didn't feel right, my body and face took "wow you look like your dad!" to the next level.
I used to think I'm secretly intersex or something. I never accepted the option of transitioning, because I'm stubborn and felt offended when someone else in my life transitioned, because if she transitions, what does that say about me? I don't feel like rf's acknowledge that women like this exist though, they pretend that the rest of society is just as hyperfocused on clocking and that the rest of society doesn't consider it mannish. They'll be at your throat and get more upset that you call a feature about yourself masculine, than that they think about supporting you or whatever, as if yelling at someone makes insecurities disappear.
>>263481
>A fit girl will be considered attractive no matter her other features as long as she's not super ugly
Yeah but also don't be "too fit" and too strong and musuclar, because then people will call it ugly again. "Fit" is only seen as being skinny with some abs and massive glutes. Nobody considers it just fit if you have big arms and delts and don't try to have a super low bf%. I fucking hate this shit.
>>263485
They also have dainty features which off-set it though and create nice contrast. That might not be the case for everyone.

No. 263495

>>263491
>When I started leaning into the masculinity, I actually started looking more feminine and people will never understand that.
This is so true. The average woman looks like a troon in hyperfeminine fashionstyles because it creates a contrast while relaxed styles make you look much more feminine and womanly.

Lolita is the perfect example for this. All of those women look of in normie styles but %99 of them look like ogres in lolita style unless they have childlike and superfeminine features.

No. 263500

>>263495
the average white woman looks like a troon maybe. Asian women have feminine features(racebait)

No. 263503

File: 1652438208103.jpeg (65.9 KB, 696x522, These 13 Celebrities Show How …)

>>263481
>Arched brows look perfect on Megan fox who has a long face.
she looks good with arched brows because she always had an abnormally attractive face. she could have no eyebrows and she'd still be attractive.
>I don't think thick straight brows suit anyone
I've done an insane amount of research on this, and from what I understand, straight brows are very good if you have sharp features. It "mellows" out of your face.

No. 263507

File: 1652438834441.png (1.51 MB, 1192x844, Screen Shot 2022-05-13 at 6.40…)

>>263500
asian women have bigger heads and smaller eyes than white women. the opposite of neoteny. but they try to look more neotenous because their cultures make that the beauty standard. white women's cultures don't have that beauty standard, so instead they try to look more "mature" and "beautiful" which at the end of the day translates to goofy drag makeup, gaining weight because muh curves, and dying hair a tacky bleach blonde.

russian/ukrainian women who work in places like japan and korea actually put effort into their appearance and try to look cute instead of hot.(racebait)

No. 263509

File: 1652439680611.jpeg (175.09 KB, 1420x798, killing-eve-jodie-comer-sandra…)

>>263500

………..
……………

No. 263514

File: 1652440072453.jpg (70.16 KB, 710x300, Tilda.jpg)

>>263495
It even works with hair. I need more volume, but longer hair weighs everything down and makes it look like I have typical tranny strangly hair. Which just makes my sharp square features stand out. It's like how Tilda Swinton just looks better with short hair and without harsh make-up. She looks otherworldly beautiful when she just leans into what she already has, like when she played Gabriel.

No. 263519

File: 1652441154007.jpg (42.64 KB, 660x456, 89854e6deb2251610e1a4bce916477…)

>>263503
Megan actually looks much more youthful with straight brows although this edited example is a little extreme. in comparison the skinny arches give her a witchy look since her features are very sharp. I also have sharp features and my brows are naturally straight/rounded, not arched, used to do arched when I was younger and looking back on old pics I look older in those than I do now

No. 263521

File: 1652441519729.jpg (2.54 MB, 3072x4096, pt2022_05_13_04_31_02.jpg)

>>263519
Samefag one of Brittany broski as an example of someone who doesn't have perfect features, because in one of her videos recently she was talking about how her older thick brows looked horrible and she looks way better with thin brows and I couldn't disagree more

No. 263522

>>263519
she looks really soft and beautiful with straighter brows. not that she isn't already beautiful, but she just looks young and prettier.

No. 263523

>>263509
kek this pic is the perfect reply to that anon

No. 263524

>>263519
the second pic makes her look so sad, like she's about to cry kek

No. 263525

File: 1652441986613.jpg (3.94 MB, 3072x4096, pt2022_05_13_04_37_09.jpg)

One more of Kristen stewart who doesn't have the thick brows that are in vogue now but still sticks with a natural straight shape as seen in the bottom pic, and her with Megan fox style brows in the top
Sorry I'm obsessed with eyebrows and how they change the look of your face lol but hopefully this is helpful to some anons, k stew proves you can still do the straighter brow look even if you have less brow hair and I personally think it is hugely beneficial to most faces to forego a cartoonish arch

No. 263526

>>263519
But what do you do when your brows are naturally very arched? I can't really pluck them into being straight and I hate shaving off the tails.

No. 263527

>>263524
Yeah agreed lol but she looks so much younger and cuter, and less "sexy", east Asian audiences would definitely prefer her innocent look on the right

No. 263528

>>263526
I was about to mention I'm not trying to say naturally arched brows are bad at all
I think it's the same kind of conversation as how overly filled lips look awful but naturally full lips look great, if you have it naturally and it isn't a result of overplucking like in Megan's case, it most likely suits your face

No. 263534

>>263528
Well that's the thing, I'm not sure they do. I have a long, angular face and a strong jawline.

No. 263550

>>263519
there's something really outdated with thin arched brows like that?

No. 263576

File: 1652454492256.jpeg (88.87 KB, 800x1049, 806B1AA0-8336-4A9F-B86E-D596E8…)

>>263519
My moonface and cheeks make my flatter brows look like shit, and they're almost impossible to shape. They're thinned from attempting to shape them back in the 00s-10s.

>>263485
I honestly can't tell if my face is long or short. I'm so bad at determining proportionality. It's heart shaped, I think. If it were more squared and I had a forehead and further spaced eyes, my brows would look better, but as it stands my forehead, eyes and face shape don't suit them.

>>263525
I love kstews straight brows, she's literally one of the cutest women in the world to me. There's something so effortless and carefree about her style

>>263466
Seeing what anons have said about cows and other women? Nah. I think I'm absolutely hideous these days so I don't want my self esteem to plummet more into the gutter.

No. 263581

>>263576
>They're thinned from attempting to shape them back in the 00s-10s
omg wait does that actually happen? I had nice full brows in middle school, and in the summer right before I started freshman year of hs, my mom took me to get my brows waxed insanely thin multiple times and they've never been the same.

No. 263595

>>263581
They'd look fuller if they were shaped right. too much time was spent trying to arch them. I haven't gotten them waxed since covid started and only been plucking them without much shaping. They look like shit, but they are free

No. 263717

I hate how fat my face is compared with my body. I don't even like my body so I dress in huge baggy clothes and I know it only makes my face look even bigger because you can't see that I just have a disproportionately big face in comparison with my body but I can't bring myself to expose the shape of my body because I also hate that (tho to a lesser extent than I do my face). I'm just doomed to a life of appearing a potato face sitting ontop of a potato sack

No. 263719

>>263466
> I wish I could post a picture of myself on here
kek i would not dare, just look what happened to that anon who showed her hand

No. 263721

File: 1652482789562.gif (989.31 KB, 500x357, R6MP.gif)

>>263500
>>263446
> white women with straight dark eyebrows look mannish or neanderthalish
sure

No. 263727

>>263719
Don't forget the kiwifags reposting farmers bodies from the Kibbe thread.
I saw someone trace their body and post it. So maybe that anon can trace a picture of her face?

No. 263745

>>263719
>>263727
ITA and yeah, I acknowledged that it would be a terrible idea. I’ve seen anons dox themselves with their full faces in the celebrity look alike thread and by obviously self posting on the cute girls threads and swore that would never be me.

I guess I just wish there was a way to clear up ambiguity about how your looks actually stand with others without having to post your face to be assessed by strangers on the internet. I guess it doesn’t really matter because my looks have never held me back from anything I wanted to do and I’m slim, but I’m obsessive like that, hence why I’m following this thread.

No. 263761

>>263581
Absolutely happens anon, I have bald patches at the front of my brows from the same thing, I'm using rapid brow currently and I've seen some promising reviews

No. 263762

>>263745
tbh you could try posting on reddit to the rate me subreddit lol it's just that you'll probably get a bunch of horny men calling you a 10/10, mixed in with a bunch of incels and ugly women calling you a 2/10

No. 263791

My bdd is ruining my life. I tried getting therapy with different therapists and counsellors throughout the years and it never worked. They all say ur not ugly and that’s it. I decided to stop wasting money on it and just go ahead with getting plastic surgery

No. 263802

>>263745
>>263762
I did once on reddit for a celebrity lookalike sub and was disappointed when I got told answers I've heard before and some teenage actress I'd never heard of.

ages ago posted a picture of my lips in the plastic surgery threads here and that was enough. I guarantee we probably aren't as ugly as we think we are, but that's the grave reality of body dysmorphia

No. 263804

>>263762
NTA, but when I was a teen I think I posted once in a place like that and I got "7/10, you look autistic though" kek
>>263802
I've gotten Taylor Swift, Anne Hathaway, Macaulay Culkin and young Putin, so I have no idea what to think anymore

No. 263819

>>263791
I have bdd and i am sure that ps would cure my bdd. But with what money will we undergo ps? Nigel’s?

No. 263824

>>263804
your list is so random. I think peoples perceptions just differ. re: female putin, his illegitimate daughter who looks somewhat like him is actually cute, idk why his features reflect well on her kek

i get every generic white brunette actress in existence so everything from geena davis to ellen page to carrie fisher, but then the lookalike A.I. sites said natalie wood and julie garland, lots of older actresses. either way it's like i don't belong in this era, and that only deepens my dysmorphia kek

No. 263834

File: 1652546593508.png (102.17 KB, 500x360, EVwDcjGXYAQG848.png)

>>263824
Anne Hathaway, Macaulay Culkin and young Putin I can see why. Big sharp nose, plump lips, hooded eyes, prominentish cheekbones, prominent jaw. I don't know where Taylor Swift comes from though, but that might be more based on body when I was younger? Which I still don't really see in myself.

No. 264004

>>263819
I’m prepared to spend 20 grand.

No. 264138

>>263521
she looks better in the top picture. she looks like a tranny in the bottom picture.

No. 264142

File: 1652643612455.jpg (26.52 KB, 368x368, skin-texture.jpg)

Throughout my teens I went through phases of being really unsatisfied and then sometimes quite pleased with my appearance but now that I am in my 20s and gained weight over lockdown I cannot bring myself to wear tight or revealing clothing, even at the gym. I despise my body and have always been obsessed with the idea of having a more traditionally feminine figure - bigger hips narrower shoulders, shapely legs that aren't stocky etc…I'm trying my best to undo these thoughts and just work on physical fitness instead but it's very triggering and difficult when I'm stood next to a woman with my ideal body type at the gym and I just look like a diseased, rectangular dwarf in comparison kek.
I think a lot of my dysmorphia came from my mother loading her very low self-esteem onto me and making me stand near her while she looked in the mirror and picked apart her own body, I never had any good female role models to teach me or instill confidence and good self-worth into me growing up, I was also left with unregulated access to the internet and being an autistic loser I overanalysed every small aspect of my appearance.

I wasn't bullied in school but I was teased a little about my acne, about my large round nose, about being small and weird and also about being very pale. Looking back throughout the years I noticed that I've been prone to using things to mask or alleviate my dysmorphia…I was obsessed with fake tan for months after being mocked for being pale, and now I can only wear loose clothing to disguise my body or I feel exposed and awful.
I also naturally have very textured skin with large pores, oiliness and acne which always felt really "masculine" to me as none of my friends had that sort of orange-peel like texture to their skin like picrel, it made me feel like something was wrong with me.

My facial features are quite similar to picrel in fact, the funny thing is I wouldn't consider her ugly or any woman with textured skin or any sort of body shape as ugly, I am just hypercritical and hate myself when I can't meet my own standards.
I am glad I'm also a little bit too old and managed to escape the troon shit, because I genuinely feel like I may have trooned out as a way to escape feeling inadequate as a woman. I already had fleeting thoughts about doing it because I never felt feminine enough but never actually acted upon it.

No. 264154

>>263834
Are you the female putin anon from other thread a while ago? If you look like his daughter, you're super pretty. He also looked cute when he was young, so…

No. 264162

>>264138
Other way around

No. 264168

>>264142

She doesn't have orange peel texture skin. She has acne scars… if you have the same, that's totally treatable. Save up some money and get microneedling and CO2 laser.

No. 264173

File: 1652650234748.jpeg (59.04 KB, 750x349, C1C7B154-85C5-43F2-8E0E-2729C5…)

>>264162
the brows make her look very masculine. she looks more feminine with her small arched brows.

Trannies can’t pull off the arched brow look without a brow lift or just drawing them on. It’s the ultimate feminine feature.

No. 264175

>>264168
I don't know if I agree, spending a lot of money on microneedling and laser for my skin would be ultimately pointless as I would rather try and find ways to learn to embrace my naturally textured and scarred skin as opposed to spending money on something that has always been a part of me. I have had skin like that picrel since I was 9 years old, my brothers also have the same skin type except they aren't pressured to do shit about it because they're male. Maybe others would want to fix it sure but I personally don't want to throw my money on something that I couldn't even control in the first place. I simply want to be accepted and not looked at like I'm some sort of diseased freak for having visible pores and redness, that's not to mention the unwarranted questions you get asking if you've tried xyz skin treatment.

No. 264219

Anyone feel like even if you did change what you hate about yourself you'd just find something else to nitpick??? I hate to say it and I don't know if I'll ever say it out loud but I think I've had an ED for a really long time and it truly invades every aspect of my life. I'm the lowest weight I have ever been and it makes me want to cry because it still hasn't made me feel better about myself and now I'm somehow more terrified of gaining weight that I was when I was 30 pounds ago. A chubby 13 year old me would call it an ugw and cry about it and now I'm there and I still don't see what I want to see. I know I'm spewing ana-chan thoughts here and I'm sorry for it but it's literally infuriating because I thought it would make me happy but I know I won't ever be skinny enough and even if I was I'd just start on something else that I hate about myself in addition to my size.

No. 264224

File: 1652669456618.png (360.11 KB, 795x478, ayo.png)

>>264173
wtf he's literally everywhere

No. 264248

File: 1652681421760.gif (4.65 MB, 640x476, jennifer-connelly-model.gif)

>>263721
kek I know right

No. 264274

>>264173
That's actually a good point anon
I disagree with you about brittani looking better with thin brows but it is true that thin brows are very feminine, so if you have them naturally I think you should definitely rock them and not try to microblade or draw them in thick

No. 264277

>>264173
she looks like ursula in the upper picture the thin brows are shaped horribly. get over the trannies and don't let them live in your head rent free

No. 264283

>>264277
kek nonnie ursula

No. 264289

>>264219
yup nonna, that's the nature of body dysmoprhia for most people. some do actually recover from it for example by getting treatment from eating disorders or on the opposite spectrum just getting into shape, but a lot of people just end up draining their money into things that will never ever fix it.
This is generally why I don't support or encourage the whole "if you have this wrong with you then just spend lots of money to get it fixed" because chances are it isn't going to change your brain, your brain is only going to adapt and find somewhere else to pick apart.
Don't be sorry about your thoughts, body dysmorphia isn't rational at all but you don't have to apologise for it.

No. 264295

>>264154
Kek yes, I don't look exactly like Luiza, my midface is a bit longer and my features are more prominent (plumper lips, bigger nose), but I could've been her autistic looking sister. I'm happy with my face, never really considered surgery, I just look very different from most women in my country which did used to make me insecure and my tinfoil is that my great grandmother cheated with a Russian or Slav while her husband was off to war. Most of my insecurities are more about my body, because of being flat chested, while having a massive ribcage and being an inverted triangle. I would never get surgery for that either though, being flat has too many practical benefits, especially for sports. It just doesn't make feel very attractive.

No. 264362

>>264224
only bottom left is truly arched
it doesn't change the fact that straight brows is more associated with men, and arched brows with women. don't get mad at me, get mad as dimorphism.
>>264277
"you look like a disney villain" cool lol?
>>264274
it's hard to tell, I wish she'd lose weight or something so we can see the real structure of her face.

No. 264426

I always thought I look troonish with my ugly big forehead, my small chest, my huge head, thin hair, big shoulders and fridge-like body, generally large, male-ish features despite being 5'7". I had a lot of issues with heavy periods and terrible menstrual cramps and my doctors have suggested I have endometriosis even though they didn't see any abnormalities with an ultrasound. Here comes the schizo part: I legit think I am some sort of intersex but no one had the heart to tell me and I don't actually have a functioning vagina and female reproductive system. My vagina does not look so botched like those troon neovaginas, yet my clitoris is pretty big… I have a low voice and a pretty heavy amount of pubic hair despite being blonde and not having so much hair elsewhere. To make this even more laughable I am a lesbian and probably people clock me as a "transbian" because of this lmfao just fucking kill me. I legitimately think I should just poon out and become FTM, even though it is against everything I stand for. I don't have a chance with looks like this with anyone even relatively ""normal"". Anyone else out here schizologic-ing themselves into being intersex or just me..? Just me? Ok..

No. 264445

>>264426
Nah I relate >>263491 , people around me and myself have been tinfoiling I'm intersex since puberty, people have accused me of being an AGP before. Big forehead, square hairline, big sharp nose, hooded eyes, small chest on a big af ribcage (I measured when I was underweight and it was still closer to the size of a scrote's), wide shoulders, easily gain muscle, but around the same height. Also have painful periods, but no abnormalities on ultrasound when it comes to down there, except shriveled up ovaries? Also the bodyhair thing and being a lesbian. I prefer dressing masculine and in men's clothes, because it actually fits and just emphasizes my feminine features through contrast and makes me look female, instead of dressing feminine and the ill-fitting clothes from the women's section making me look like a hulking AGP. I have thin hair which looks like stringy AGP hair when it's long and looks waaay healthier short. The fact that I still have some minor feminine features which stand out though (lips, hands, feet), make me not want to transition. Transitioning also just means taking on a whole new list of expectations, which you'll never live up to either, because both traditional gender roles are retarded. I'm not good at being a woman, I wouldn't be good at being a man, but I think I can be good at being a butch.

No. 264518

26 inch waist and 39 inch hips which sounds ok, not perfect, but its all wasted because i have repulsive exaggerated hip dips. my hips are actually small and look pathetic with my massive muffin top and i just weirdly have a fat ass which would probably look lovely if my skeleton wasnt deformed. i also have a massive ribcage of course to make everything even more comical. ive never seen anyone with a body shape like mine its just so bizarre and makes me never want to leave my house. i rather be fridge shaped than look like a fucking centipede

No. 264519

>>263487
It’s true and you’re mad

No. 264538

File: 1652791933176.jpg (81.12 KB, 640x853, tumblr_o8b8513Qem1uy1k2uo1_640…)

I genuinely feel like "body positivity" has done nothing for me, because my body shape is never really represented. I am really short and stocky with violin hips, smaller breasts and broad shoulders, it's such a weird unique combination that it doesn't fit into a specific body type and falls somewhere between rectangle and pear, my fat distribution is also terrible and I have so much back fat so I am basically forced to stay slim and don't have the freedom to get a little thick like other body types.
But I'm not slim enough to be a cool athletic rectangle, and I'm not thick enough to be a pear, so I'm just lodged somewhere in this fat frumpy stocky physique. My body type looks similar to picrel (it's not me) except my legs are a lot chunkier and fatter/shorter but not even in a "strong muscular" way yet. I have always had those large hipbones that looked almost like a tyre around my lower stomach. I feel like the only time stuff like hip dips are celebrated is when they're still on conventionally thick/hourglass women, it feels like if you deviate from being thick and having a "good" hip-to-waist ratio you're just kinda ignored or people feel it's funny to call you a fridgebody on social media.
I don't judge other women of various body shapes and the funny thing is I think every woman looks great as long as they're not obese, but when it comes to myself I am incredibly insecure and critical.
It also feels really hard to find clothes models that have my body shape - shopping for things like gym shorts and leggings are almost impossible because I don't know wtf they will look like on me given that I am 5'0 and have these bigass hipbones.
What's even worse is googling things like "hip dips" and the first results being how to fix or get rid of them…it makes me feel shit because this is just my skeletal structure, they might reduce with muscle mass sure but I just cannot believe it's encourage to try and get rid of them. I wish I could just exist and be healthy but I am still so obsessive over these things because society is constantly shoving it in my face that it's not really desirable to be built like this.

I am trying to work on a lot of my body dysmorphia by looking at fitness women with similar body types to me, and overall changing my body composition so I'm not as soft and flabby, but it still sucks in the meantime. Summer is coming up, it's already hot as fuck where I live, and I feel genuinely embarrassed waddling into the gym in shorts, but I can't wear my usual hoodie and leggings attire as I will overheat and be so uncomfortable.

No. 264540

>be me
>draw my eyebrows straight
>post in this thread about how straight brows are the best
>do arched the next day
>go back to thread, tell people with straight brows they look like trannies
simple as

No. 264542

>>264540
I hope your eyebrow hairs fall out

No. 264544

>>264540
i will pluck your eyebrow hairs out one by one

No. 264570

>>264538
I just want you to know you are not alone. The thing about being hyperfixated on your body is that, its a body. You are just another person on this planet. It may feel very important and that everybody is judging you, but nobody cares to single you out to nitpick a specific feature unless they are feeling bitchy. The nitpicking is JUST to be bitchy. It means nothing. Do not feel like you do not deserve to wear something you want because it doesnt feel right until you have your body worked out. Newsflash, you are never going to have the body you want. By all means work out, but do not expect your body to correct itself into what your mind wants. It is unrealistic and this mindset will lead to disappointment. Your body is fine nona. It is a body. It works I assume for the most part. You really start learning to accept yourself when you rebel your insecurities. Wear what you want and go outside. Do it until you stop giving a shit what people think of. Forcing yourself to face your fears is the hardest part because you yourself have made these rules that wont allow you to be happy. There are no laws that if your legs dont look specifically like something that you will be publicly executed. Nobody is going to banish you from the country for having hip dips. Basically everyone has them to some degree. Shit I have hip dips and a hairy stomach and I still wear crop tops and short shorts. Go crazy. You'll feel free.

No. 264662

>>264519
>Your bf will pick me
>your bf will lust after my man-brows
>Pick me! Love me! I'm the best!
Get help.

No. 264687

>>264538
>Small breastfeed, broad shouldered
Anon do you know what that looks like

No. 264764

>>264687
I have no idea what you're talking about

No. 264962

File: 1652959893681.jpg (58.25 KB, 563x705, b026be2633ee09fbf3a08046685773…)

Sounds retarded but I finally managed to wear an outfit like picrel to the gym today - it's very very warm and I couldn't get away with wearing leggings and hoodies anymore so I just thought, fuck it, and put some shorts on. My body dysmorphia and overall disgust regarding being looked at/perceived by moids makes me hate wearing things that show off skin but it wasn't as bad as I thought. The only issue was that my shirt was so long it looked like I didn't have pants on underneath sometimes kek, at least I wasn't sweating though.

I'm aware this sounds dumb but I struggle a lot with pushing myself out there in regards to not dressing in very loose, shapeless baggy clothes. Putting on those shorts was a huge step for me but it seems so easy for other people. I did bring a spare pair of tracksuit bottoms to wear walking to and from the gym though because I wasn't comfortable wearing them that long, just inside the gym. It's a step forward, at least.

>>264570
Also want to say thank you nonna because this reply was what made me push myself towards wearing the shorts. I really sat back and thought about all the hoops I jump over just to disguise and hide myself from other people even at the expense of my own comfort, like when it gets really warm outside, and I was just fed up. So thank you! Your advice was amazing.

No. 264971

>>264962
Proud of you! And with time it will get easier and easier to wear shorts.

No. 265062

does anyone else have a secret hope that they're actually hot and their body dysmorphia is just preventing them from seeing it? my boyfriend tells me how hot i am and seems genuinely confused when i shit on my looks. i wish i could see myself from someone else's perspective because looking in the mirror makes me cry.

No. 265063

>>265062
I wonder about this but I have no boyfriend
and men haven't found me very attractive since post covid and me stopping caring about my looks as much. Not that I've given them much chance to talk to me.



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