/g/ - girl talk

I don't have anything at the moment to write here but I just wanted to say this is a really great idea for a thread, anon! this kind of thing can be really therapeutic from experience

To my past self:
It’s okay.

stay away from males, except your good friends Thomas and Jonah. the rest are just trying to sleep with you. try to make more female friends and cherish them instead of just focusing on whatever guy you're seeing. also eat more you stringbean, you're gonna stunt your growth

wear your fucking retainer you shit idiot

>>178798
DO NOT change schools. Trust me, you will only waste your life there. Also, don't tell your father about your plans. Do not confide in hopes or ambitions. He just wants to control you and keep you small

To my younger sisters:

- you're allowed to say 'no' ANYTIME in a relationship and with other people in general.
- you're a woman with any skin tone, any haircut, any fashion sense (or lack thereof), any height and any other unimportant detail. You're not "not feminine enough" if you have XX chromosomes.
- you're allowed to forgive yourself for being an idiot, mean, rude and hurtful. Don't beat yourself up to the point even your coworkers notice it.
- YOLO isn't just a stupid '00s word. Do what you love and thrive for things that make you feel happy and safe while hurting no one.

I'm currently finally in therapy after childhood violence and depression and the last thing I want to share is:
the world has fangs, and it can and will bite.
Learn to identify things that make you feel bad and learn how to deal with them.

Just fucking relax, the guy you like already likes you back for your actually good qualities that you don't even accept in yourself (work ethic, tendency toward self-sacrifice, etc.), not how you did your makeup that day.

>>178891
Addendum: you are not a freak for being a kissless virgin at 19/20/21/etc. Your gut told you that you were ill-equipped for a relationship all those years ago and you made a pact to never take a step you weren't ready for, and you were right. You will have your first everything with an amazing person that you found because you waited until you had achieved the self-sufficiency and life experience that YOU needed before getting into a relationship. There will be days where you will feel so lonely and maladjusted that you will cry – don't give in. Don't say yes to that creep just because he asked, and do not compromise on your standards for a minute.

Anxiety is a liar, anxiety will continue to lie to you, everything you are going to fear about, even after you've ensured all is safe, will not come true. It's just your body's way of protecting itself. It'll subside in a few hours or minutes. Take care of yourself.
You've been hurt and that's okay, but it sucks. You know better now. You will never see them again. You will never be there again. Love yourself. Expect your symptoms. Take that leap of faith with every irrational thought that arises. Do it in baby steps.

I wish I could write a loving past letter to myself but I'm still filled with too much self hatred. My youth was filled with so much hate from so many people towards me and none of it was my fault and here I am still kicking myself over it and wishing I had did a better job at starving myself so we wouldn't be here. Maybe someday I'll have kinder and loving words for her because gosh she needs it because she has never had it. I'm sorry little one. Just know what you did to cope was not gross or embarrassing, you literally didn't know anything else.

you are loved. i promise from here on out, things are going to get better. just lift your head up and look at the future ahead. its waiting with open arms, even if the reality is harsh at first.

It took a bit of time, but you will eventually accept yourself and develop self-control.
Please practice being patient and know that you don't have to please anyone. Being embarrassed about existing as you are only hurts you, makes you mistreat yourself even more, and never impresses anyone anyway. In fact, you lash out and self-sabotage.

Most importantly, avoiding basic, unchangeable aspects about your identity and personality doesn't make them go away. You are what you are and accepting that will make you happier than you can imagine now.

>>178910
I hope you can love yourself someday anon. It sounds like you've gone through a lot and you didn't deserve any of it. Little you should have been loved from the start.

>>178892
>Your gut told you that you were ill-equipped for a relationship all those years ago and you made a pact to never take a step you weren't ready for, and you were right.

Anon, that's beautiful. You're so kind to your past self. Taking your inspirational words to heart for myself, too. Love you!

to my younger self, you're going to retreat into yourself and be filled with apprehension about life. you're going to be confused and wonder for years and years why you feel the uncomfortableness you feel and why it makes you want to shut yourself away in 'safety'. you're going to blame and question yourself and be filled with so much stomach churning anxiety and guilt over it. there isn't going to some big exorcism that'll put a solid line under it all. but you'll learn that some things just will never make sense and you'll probably never get answers why. you can heal and learn to accept things and leave all the messy shit in the past where it belongs. you'll come to realise it doesn't have to play any part in the future of who you are if you don't want it to.

Stay away from men. Don't look at them, don't talk to them, do not interact. Also- it's okay to ask for help. Don't let it all boil up inside you until everything comes crumbling down. People don't know what you want unless you make it blatantly clear. Be honest with others, but mostly be honest with yourself. You need to do what you want to do.

Hi, past self, I’m glad you finally gave up on what the tv told you about glow ups and suddenly becoming friends with everyone else.
I’m also glad you love yourself and that you don’t want to change your skin color to become some weird ass bimbo caricature.
I’m glad that you never killed yourself and that even if you were cringe, you were free.
Sure, our brother is still a fucking retard, and sure, we don’t have the apartment we wanted at 25, nor the marriage and stuff you also wanted before you were 25.
But be glad, we’re fine and not locked up in a relationshit with some motherfucking weird ass bastard.
Also, thank you for never accepting being in a relationship with that weird guy that would only talk about the Simpsons, it would’ve been retarded and you would’ve ended up getting even more bullied than before.
Things get better, we got two amazing friends, definitely not the whole school like you wanted before, those retards are trash, so don’t sweat it, sweetie.
Our best friends are amazing and lovely, we might end up living together with our closest best friend, she’s beautiful, smart, lovely and she only wants the best for us, unlike that bitch ass hoe fucking idiot Abraham, what a fucking retard, I’m glad you left that ugly hoe and her ugly ass toxic self, bitch fuck.
I love you! Be well! We have a nice life!

SHE PROVED YOU THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO SHE WAS BEFORE, BELIEVE HER. yes, she repeats over and over again that she was in a bad place mentally but has gotten so much better. she's still an asshole. you dont want to be friends with someone who did something that shitty to you. theyre just going to hurt you again. just give it up. its been two years now, fuck her. you do not need her back into your life. she has not changed. she will not be the person you fell in love with you and neither will you be. you're playing with fire. she's a liar and will lie again. she doesn't love you the way you did and will never do. STAY AWAY!!!!!!

context

>ex gf of many years cheated on me a few months into our engagement
>absolutely destroyed me for at least a year
>ex and other girl get engaged after three months… because of course that girl would propose to my ex that quickly, she hated my guts
>girl cheats on my ex after a year
>after two years not talking, my ex gf contacts me asking to be friends again
>we flirt all the time she calls me her soulmate and says im beautiful often and we sext and stuff so i develop feelings for her
>i asked her to take me back
>she said no, i dont want a relationship right now
>"oh okay i respect that"
>her cheating gf asks to take her back
>she says yes, and i realize i fell for the same shit again and hate myself

To my teen self: Hi, don't worry too much about feeling stupid or ugly. Because you are not, so please stop crying and wanting to harm yourself over it.
Just because no one has expressed attraction towards you it doesn't mean that you are unlovable, escaping the constraints of school and living under less defined social norms will do wonders for you.

I know you may feel disconnected from everyone right now, but you will find a way to fit in, and feel accomplished with your relationships. You have so much to offer.

And for the last time, please stop crying you are not ugly. Also don't self harm, your mom will find out years later and will be upset. There are many more scars to come, no need to get a head start.

That suspicious gut feeling that you have about men but can't put into words yet is true. Be careful around them, even your male family members that are not your father or cousins.

DO SOMETHING ELSE BESIDES PLAY WOW