[ Rules ] [ ot / g / m ] [ pt / snow / w ] [ meta ] [ Matrix ] [ Discord ]

/g/ - girl talk

(For post deletion)

New Discord, join here

Discuss the future of the farm
Townhall pushed to Nov 21st 8pm GMT

Apply as Administrator
Apply as Farmhand

File: 1588096090749.gif (214.78 KB, 1600x1186, 1587913417006 (1).gif)

No. 137858

Thread for discussing polyamory.

How to enter a polycule? How to maintain it? How do you find two SOs to love?
How do you balance the needs of both and yourself?

No. 137860

I was in a closed group swinging relationship for 3 years, and while I definitely enjoyed a lot of it, we ended up not working out and now my husband and I have no contact with the other couple. I’m still pretty upset/bitter about it and I wish it could have worked out differently.

No. 137862

It's lame and weird.

No. 137865

Wow, look at that entirety of that convoluted and stupid chart and tell me this isn't long-winded bullshit justification for people who aren't mature enough in their relationship to commit but also couldn't stand being single with no access to sex. Truly weak character stuff.

No. 137866

Well that florida poly group that featured on BarcroftTv lately are a good example of how not to do it. I saw the viral vid '4 boyfriends and I'm pregnant' popping up everywhere.. just found out that one of the 4 bfs beat the baby girl nearly to death, she was only 4 weeks old, jesus.

No. 137867

You mean to tell me that relationships are complex?

No. 137871

Why didn’t it work out, anon?

No. 137873

There was a time like 8 years ago when polyamory started getting a little more publicity, presumably in the wake of lgbt rights, and it briefly looked like it might become more mainstream. Many basically cute smart people started going on about compersion and opened their stale highschool sweetheart relationships.

Then I think it dawned on people that most people doing poly were still mostly mentally ill and legit ugly, and there was little reason for people capable of normal relationships to take part in "polycules". So news outlets just quietly buried the subject again instead of trying to meme it like lgbt alt lifestyles.

I know this sounds mean, I used to want to support poly because I was also low on jealousy and it seems like a reasonably rational option in some ways, but for whatever reason it's really quite typical for poly people to be unattractive and have an annoying personality, and the culture as a whole seems really unhealthy (also attractive to abusers). I guess it's because novelty boosts the attractiveness of otherwise kinda unappealing people, so they can date each other this way. And dodging the responsibility of dealing with your mental problems is easier if you have constant new relationship energy going on, so troubled people want to coast on that high while not letting go of their safe old relationships and risking loneliness.

No. 137880

>a thread about 'maintaining' whatever the fuck a polycule is instead of a thread about making fun of it

No. 137883

Alternatively, y'all could go to a therapist to work out your obvious issues so that you can have a normal relationship instead.

No. 137894

poly people are generally the worst people.
>bad at relationships
>super jealous
>no self control
i could go on and on. the kinds of people who need more than one person to care for them in that way are always pathetic.

No. 137896


Good reply, anon. Nice.

No. 137897

The kiwifarms thread on r/polyamory is hilarious and showcases how much of a loser lifestyle it is, it's honestly the best deterrent for anyone who wants to enter a polycule (what a stupid name).

No. 137898

No idea why, but most poly people are really unattractive, seems like the hot ones are in the swinging community, which is disgusting in it's own right.

No. 137899

File: 1588148041772.png (55.38 KB, 941x591, 1435704596216.png)

I've only read 5 pages and it's already sending me. These complete and utter cucks, jfc. I can't even feel bad for them, what else did they expect?

No. 137909

From what I've seen, the polyamory community is mostly made of fat millennials, lots of ugly kweer chicks and unkempt troons, while the swinging community is fat boomers who see themselves as libertines à la Sade. So yeah, unattractive on both ends, obviously normal people don't need deviant lifestyles to feel fulfilled.

No. 137911

None of us were really 100% honest with everyone about our feelings, and it was having a negative impact on our marriages.

No. 137919


Are normal people satisfied in their relationships though? What exactly is normality other than some approximation of a deeply troubled capitalistic nuclear family model? Most monogomous couples I see haven't talked through exactly what 'being in a relationship' means and are in it for the wrong reasons.

No. 137921

File: 1588174946655.gif (3.39 MB, 320x240, 943C4AD0-E4B5-44C4-AC50-AF6F55…)

How about not sharing male feminist (when he needs to get it wet) tiny limp dicc with a bunch of sisterwives

When it’s main target audience is drama class rejects too fat for Hollywood and cult leaders you know that won’t work with sensible, mature and self adjusted people

Polyamory is half baked hippy shit without any of the fun and more mommying men with massive egos and attachment issues
“ deeply troubled capitalistic nuclear family model? “ my ass if the ~partner~ doesn’t have any attachments there’s something wrong

No. 137924

Supporting the theory that poly is a way for hideous people to make sex with each other exciting enough to be tolerable, they also always have the most extreme vomit-inducing kinks. I think many kinky people are that way because they can't expect to get a sufficiently attractive partner, so need loads of additional stimulation from taboos, pain, etc. to get off. Same thing with polys, so they go hand in hand.

I used to be very sex positive libfem coolgirl and inevitably got involved with a poly guy. He was socially awkward but intelligent and only somewhat weird-looking, and looks don't matter don't be shallow hurr durr, so I went along with it and agreed to hang out at his place.

>he does not have bed sheets

>maybe he just washes his pillows and blankets often?
>no kitchen equipment to be seen
>says all his meals consist of two kinds of frozen pizza like it's a normal thing
>we sit on the couch and he talks about previous partners
>"I used to be into fat people, all my partners so far were obese, after meeting you I have fantasized more about normal bodies though"
>isn't that cute
>more talk and cuddling
>"I should mention this early on, I have a thing about diapers"
>I don't want to be judgmental bc that would be kinkshaming and sex negative
>"ok :):)"
>we meet a few times after that, he always wears diapers even when we're just hanging out, I don't know wtf I'm supposed to do

>one time I'm 10 mins early

>he opens the door
>his breath smells disgusting, I have never smelled anything that bad before
>try not to vomit, try to not be shallow and judgmental, leave early anyway
>I'm not implying he was eating shit, the smell was disgusting in a different way
>I hope at least
>I still don't know what it was and I don't want to know
>I stopped seeing him after that

To his credit he never tried to pressure me into anything and the poor choices involved, like seeing him again after the first time or indeed not leaving after two minutes, were my own. However, I was young and inexperienced, and would like to put some blame on sex positive cool girl culture. I genuinely thought I somehow owed him a chance, and with the poly thing, breaking up felt more difficult ("if you're not looking for a single soulmate anyway, why not date me, you can always date others as well??").

After this, some part of me is still convinced that suitors should be vetted and approved by your parents, having kinks warrants calling over a priest, and anything sexual should happen in the context of proper monogamous matrimony only.

No. 137925

Cool girl culture is a defense mechanism in response to men telling women that we owe them infinite chances, empathy, servitude, and sex or else we're horrible shallow gold diggin' bitches.
I appreciate more and more anons waking up to the fact that being a cool girl won't benefit them though.
>suitors should be vetted and approved by your parents
Heh, sometimes it's the blind leading the blind and hypocrites being hypocritical anon. Believe me.
>kink warrants a priest's opinion and sex is only for marriage
You lost me there but everything else is agreeable.

No. 137926

Yeah, and to be clear the last paragraph was in jest, it's just that experiencing the consequences of extreme liberal sexual norms makes you at least understand the reasoning behind ultraconservative prude traditionalism.

No. 137967

File: 1588200112275.jpg (102.45 KB, 800x535, 7c42d4f9fe0fe38051c5493b450c62…)

thank you for reminding me poly retards exist

No. 137968

File: 1588200169929.jpg (158.32 KB, 771x671, wp-1466232409978.jpg)

sad cuck

No. 137969

i hope this thread takes off so i can have something to laugh at once in a while

No. 137970

>dabbled in poly shit during college hoe phase
>always the third, never the primary
>the dudes fall in love with novelty and a) leave their gf/wife, b) have huge fights with their SO and ghost
>every single time, no exception
No couple who suddenly became poly is healthy and strong lmaoo

No. 137971

Kinda same, but on the other hand, how do I set up the rest of my life in such a way that I will never have to fucking hear about polyamory again

No. 137990

the sheer amount of women who unabashedly defended poly in a group i'm in because they were in poly relationships then a year later started trashing it… fucking ridiculous. what did you think was going to happen lmao

No. 138017

Ah yes the comparison to being gay and how if being born gay isn't shameful then raising kids in a poly situation isn't either… the same argument that 'minor attracted people' lean on heavily
>Well if you wouldn't shame a gay you can't shame me either!
Love it

No. 138040

File: 1588276926037.png (513.33 KB, 720x882, Screenshot_20200407-141433~2.p…)

mfw my kweer art kid roommate keeps meeting hip "poly" they/them dudes on tinder and trying to start some kind of harem because they're shallow and need unrealistic amounts of validation from men but too kweercult to be a monog cishet, and then when these flaky weirdos inevitably ghost/refuse to commit roommate looks at me confused and goes "I just don't understand why they're all like this and this keeps happening!!"
they're weird and slightly unattractive but most of that is from trying too hard to play the hip non-binary NLOG role with the ugly bowl cut and hairy legs. they'd be cute if they toned that shit down and accepted they're a cishet deep down.
now that their idealized polyqueer relationships fell apart they're stringing along an old reliable ex who they forced to be "poly" back when they were together, and then treated him like he was flawed for being unable to handle it. they claim he's willing to "try poly again" let's see how this goes…

No. 138064

Friend was poly.
>picked up and dropped people on a whim
>maintained relationships just enough so people stick around
>loved talking about how free poly was, how it was good for women
>always fighting with partners, jealousy was common
>one of her men casually wore a pink heart collar around me
>no explanation from anyone
>felt uncomfortable, asked about it and was basically ignored
>last straw was when she had sex with some new guy when I was near by, no walls, they knew what they were doing
>noped the fuck out
>later diagnosed with BPD in mental hospital

That was my only time witnessing polyamory. Weird sex shit.

No. 138087

>later diagnosed with BPD in mental hospital
lol Not surprised. I was listening to a psychology podcast lately where the host was describing poly lifestyles as valid. A lot of his listeners have BPD and send him in questions about bpd so all I could think was how hard it must be to be a therapist right now with BPD clients..and feel like you have to tip-toe around subjects like that

No. 138090

Can you link the podcast?

No. 138095

Can't remember the exact episode but it was 'Psychology in Seattle' on youtube

No. 138201

sage for blogposting but the only time in my life that i was even interested in being kweer poly was when i was taking the wrong meds and it fucked with my mental health. soon as i stopped in a polycule or being near kweer poly people

No. 138272

I have a friend with two boyfriends, and yep, she has BPD.

No. 138304

Genuinely asking, what's the difference? I don't care about polyamory but why does this argument works with gay people but not polyamory?

No. 138305

I don't care about poly either

No. 138309

Being gay isn't a choice. Dating multiple people at once is.

Do some research on the FLDS and Kingston cults, then try to tell me you think polygamy is okay. Tumblr polyamorists are the minority– the majority of people lobbying for the legalization of "plural marriage" are Mormon fundamentalists who want their mistreatment of women and children to be legally protected.

No. 138443

File: 1588704074400.png (456.5 KB, 750x1670, ffhhggghh.png)

From the bad art thread kek, I don't know why exactly but it's just cracking me up, is this kind of life supposed to be fun or??

I resent these edu comics forcing poly lifestyles so much, like >>137967 >>137968

They always have shittily drawn people with the dumbest "sympathetic" facial expressions, explaining their emotions in the same faux-serene, "emotionally sensitive" extreme doormat style. They really think this is how emotionally stable and rational people think and talk.

A poly environment is objectively more unstable, kids will likely lose many important parent figures. Not to mention the neverending drama they will be exposed to, and the adults that probably come and go in the house unless the relationship is strictly closed, which most aren't even if they initially try to be.

Most abused children are also abused by step parents, imagine having 5-10 step parents during your childhood years, who also aren't even vetted by your parent for the basic sanity and mental stability required for a monogamous long-term partnership or parenthood, just for how they fulfill some neeeeeds your parent's other partners can't fulfill.

Gay parents, unless they overlap with this culture, are usually aiming for, and perfectly capable of providing, a stable and safe environment.

No. 138490

My boyfriend is poly though I think he just likes the idea of having a harem. I met him once but otherwise we are long distance, and I think he only talks online to the other girls who are aware of this, at least the ones I knew never met him. I talked to two of the girls, I kind of liked both of them initially and ended up becoming friends with one of them even though she left him eventually, but the other one cheated on him and it seemed she always tried to brag about their relationship so it got tiring after a while. He let her back for whatever reason, but now we don't talk anymore.

It's funny because even my bf says he prefers to spend time with us individually, not all together, yet still has this idea of living with a bunch of women.
I'll say that both of the other girls were really overweight and had/have mental issues when they started talking, and while I'm not overweight I am very dependent and have a lot of other issues. I'm not saying this against him because he's a great person and I love him, I just think it shows the type of person who willingly stays in something like this. I think it could have some positives, but it's probably best kept separate for most of the time, otherwise I feel like there'd be too much conflict in general, I mean even normal relationships come with that so this just seems like added complications.

No. 138493

>I met him once
>likes the idea of having a harem
>has this idea of living with a bunch of women
>he's a great person and I love him

This must be bait, fucking hell. Putting up with all that and he's apparently not even cute enough to get women irl/who aren't fat, everything about your situation is beyond depressing.

No. 138500

I think he is attractive. I know he had casual sex before, not sure about how attractive those women were but I suppose average given how he found them online too, and really attractive women get a lot of men engaging with them already. I never asked though.

He talks to me for over 6 hours everyday and improved my life in a lot of different ways, so I'm not really affected by other women rn.
I know it probably sounds fucked up from the outside. But he is amazing and I want to stay with him. I just don't think he really knows that there is a difference between having an actual harem and managing all the different conflicts vs just talking to some girls online. I mean, you can't seriously plan with people you've never met. I was really scared before meeting him, I know people can be very different irl.

No. 138509


6 hours? I don’t think I talk to my husband 6 hours per day, and we work from home.

No. 138517

I work from home and he is home so we're just in a call. But often we just do our own thing and talk with some pauses in between, it's not like hours of super intense conversation. It's been like this for over a year so I'm just really used to it.

No. 138530

I had an open relationship once that was very healthy, and I know a throuple that are also very normal. However everyone I know who basis their whole personality around being Poly is insufferable. I immediately get creeper vibes off any guy who randomly brings up that they're poly, I don't think it needs to be publicly known.

No. 138540

when i used to be an edgy hedonistic bastard i was dating six guys at once, it was pretty great but i wouldn't do it again. too tiring tbh and it's hard to find proper men nowadays

No. 138542

I had a boyfriend a few years back that, when we first started dating, wanted to set our relationship status as open. I was really bad at being open with my feelings (still working on it) and just made some ambiguous answer since I was worried he would break things off if I said no. He literally said something along the lines of "you're the only person I love, but I also might want to have sex with other people". I cringe at myself for actually staying with him for a bit. The amount of anxiety and insecurity I felt was pretty high. Like, I wasn't good enough and/or I was just there until he found someone better and I'd be dropped. He knew I was bi so maybe he even thought it was a possibility to get some ffm threeway action. Gross.

I don't doubt that in some very rare circumstances and with people who are /very/ good at communicating their feelings, a poly relationship could work. At least a closed one. But I just don't see how they can work out often in practice. The amount of emotional energy and work to be in a relationship with one person is already a lot, compounding it with more variables is just asking for issues. I also just don't feel comfortable with someone I'm in a romantic/sexual relationship doing romantic/sexual things with others. That's probably normal? But in the modern climate I feel like that sentiment means I'm a jealous and possessive hag. I'm in a few subcultures (nerdy hobbies and renn faires, etc.) that have a higher percentage of "poly" people so I see it frequently. Like I know I'm not perfect, but if someone doesn't want me enough that they have to fill the void with other people than I don't want them.

No. 138577

>I am very dependent and have a lot of other issues
I feel bad for you. You are such a pick me and need to learn how to value yourself and not depend emotionally on a loser that preys on vulnerable women like yourself and those other women he talks to online.

No. 138583


Anon you genuinely need therapy, not a creep who pushes mentally ill girls into codepent relationships, because thats what this is, doesn't matter how good you feel right now this isn't in any shape or form healthy and you should get out asap and find a therapist to work on your self worth issues before you get seriously hurt.

No. 138594

>My boyfriend is poly
>but the other one cheated on him

Wait so he's allowed to have multiple girls but he expects the girls to be exclusive with him??? Lmao wtf, a mutual poly relationship is bad enough but this is another level.

I hope that you're able to get therapy and heal your mind and soul. In the future you'll look back at this time of your life and cringe heavily.

No. 138613

Thanks for your concern, I appreciate it. But he is the only thing I really have rn. I mean, I have a lot of things that I like to do, I have a really good friend and I'm going back to school but all those things would feel empty without him, idk. But I mean, I don't think it's his fault, I had one previous relationship but I didn't love that person and I really love him and I'm attracted to him so I probably have a tendency to be dependent. But I can't blame him for that. Initially he did some things that may have reinforced it, but I don't think it was with that intention. Like when we started talking and I didn't do some things he asked me to (nothing serious, just stuff like being on webcam) he'd tell me he'd put me on no contact for a couple of days. That is the worst thing for me but then we got closer and it hasn't happened for a really long time. That's online though, irl he asked me to do something I really didn't feel like and I ended up crying because I thought he'd leave if I didn't. But he said I never had to do something I was uncomfortable with and that of course he'd stay even if I didn't. He said I shouldn't give him that much control over myself, even though he kind of likes it. But I mean, it's too late for that now and for some reason it makes me feel cared for.

I did some stupid shit though. He didn't show me his face for a year, and said he'd only show after he we had sex. But he says a bunch of shit that is very obviously a joke, but he was pretty insistent on this. I was into the idea but it's not like it's something you'd actually go through with.
Anyway, I ended up saving up for a trip (he's US and I'm from europe). My dad helped me because he knew it was important for me but he told me to not even think about not meeting him publicly or telling him where I was staying. I said ok many times, but actually when I got there I gave him my address and waited with my eyes closed. It ended up being great but I know it had a shitload of risks, even if I trusted him and even if we've been talking for over a year. Anyway I just don't know how I'd find someone else I'm so attached to. And I've never been as happy as when I was there with him so I just don't want to not be with him.

No. 138614

File: 1588889560129.jpg (16.94 KB, 354x352, 1358369161001.jpg)


Jfc anon…I'm not going to rag on you for having low self-esteem, or whatever (I don't think most posters here actually do) but…it really is very eerie to me how casual you're being about this whole thing. Nothing about this relationship is normal. Not wanting to show you his face until AFTER you have sex is so fucking bizarre it borders on psychotic. This guy honestly sounds really erratic and potentially even dangerous.

>I just don't know how I'd find someone else I'm so attached to

How old are you?

No. 138616


Everything about this sounds abusive, not even exaggerating. Stop depending on him. GET A THERAPIST AND STOP RELYING ON HIM FOR COMFORT. This guys is dangerous, period, he made you not see his face, he could've hurt you and you would haven't had a way to tell the cops, he met you in your hotel room without anyone knowing, he could've raped you or mudered you, this is dangerous, you're in danger. And being on a situation were you could be hurt is MUCH worse than feeling lonely.

No. 138618


I know it sounds dangerous, and I had concerns when it was just an online thing, but after meeting him I know he wouldn't hurt me. He never even lost his temper with me and I've given plenty of opportunity for that. He does have issues and some weird ideas about relationships. But he never forced me to do something. With the face thing, I asked a couple of times if he'd change his mind, but I never said I wouldn't go see him unless he showed a photo or anything like that. He always said I can leave if I'm unhappy and he won't be vindictive about it. I think the sex without seeing him was a dominance thing which is a part of our relationship, and also maybe some insecurities because he kept telling me I'd be really disappointed once I saw him. I won't deny there are problematic things about this, but after spending so much time with him and how our daily interaction is I just know he is not dangerous.
I'm not sure if he seeks out dependent women, it's probably rather that women like me are the ones staying. I mean, I think most mentally healthy women probably wouldn't want a dynamic like this. I'm very content to be with him, he really is everything but at the same time it gets really difficult when there are others involed.

No. 138619

>Most healthy women probably wouldn't want a dynamic like this.

So close to being self aware, but not. From what you are saying I don't think you will change your mind so it is ultimately your own responsibility to decide what to do. But I'm with the other anons in that this really does not sound healthy and this situation sounds very sketch. I don't know about others, but looks is one of the important things when wanting a relationship with someone, equal to personality. Not knowing what someone looks like even when agreeing to sleep with them can cause some issues or at least disappointment. IF he is insecure about it, that's his own problem and he should work on being comfortable with himself BEFORE expecting a stranger to. Also not even compromising after you asked to see his face several times is not very respectful.

And the not forcing part doesn't mean too much. In a lot of social situations (I know from past experiences as I'm working on it too) people will often go along with things even if they don't feel 100% comfortable with it so as to not be rude or offend someone. There may not be force, but if you feel obligated to stay even if you have a variety of issues that is not healthy either.

No. 138620

Also yeah, how old are you? Maybe you mentioned it before. Don't need to be specific but are you fresh out of high school, early or twenties? Regardless of age there are many more fish in the sea that will be better than someone like him, and many year to find someone. The goal of your life shouldn't be to find someone to comfort you or complete you do the detriment of your mental health.

No. 138621

I know you're right about a lot of things, but really him being like this isn't really the issue. I mean, every day we just just hang out and play games and watch shows and talk about stupid things and it's just nice. My problem is more that he has a lot of trust issues and because of that he doesn't want to commit to one person. But I'd feel terrible if he started spending that much time with someone else as he does with me.
I'm still not sure what his main reasoning was with not showing his face. He did say that normally he would've shown it but I let him take it that far, and I mean that is true, I went along with it willingly. I think though that I got very lucky that I ended up really liking what he looks like, or even just staying attracted to him, I met someone before him that I got to know online and I saw photos, I thought it was going to be great and it just sucked, he was just different somehow, I didn't even like what he smelled like, a bunch of things you can't predict.
I'm in my early twenties. I'm not really experienced though because before him I just had crushes on people who usually didn't even know that I existed, and in case I did get to know them I just stopped being interested. This is the first time it's different, and it took me a long time to feel like I love him. And he helped me through so much and has given me so much that even if I wanted to, starting over with a new person would just feel shallow somehow. I know it's probably not that rational to say this since I've only known him for around 2 years but still.
But ofc I know I should have other priorities. And I want things outside him, but something about it just really drew me in so it's how it is now. I waited around 6 months too see him from when I originally planned to go, at first he had health issues, then I was too broke, and it was really the only thing I looked forward to. I think part of the reason I was okay with taking a bunch of risks was that I started to feel like not seeing him made living worthless, so I'd rather something bad happened on my trip than not go. I know that's dumb, but I was really depressed. Then it was probably the best thing I've done, I mean I was finally happy for a while after years of feeling empty, and of course that reinforced that I just don't feel complete without him. It's kind of fucked up but I think it's on me. It's not his fault that I feel this way about him.

No. 138635

I had a threesome a long time ago with my boyfriend at the time and his friend, not my thing tbh but I just wish people would partake in it out of actual desire rather than insecurity

most threesomes/polygamy/open relationships involve this
>greasy ugly fat guy who needs an ego boost
>insecure greasy fat girl who is desperate and thinks letting him fuck whoever will make him stay

No. 138798

Or a straight couple looking for a bi woman to abuse and turn into their little plaything.

No. 138809

IS that what people refer to as a unicorn? I hear that term with people talking about polyamory. Also why is it never a couple looking for a bi MAN? Because that'd be gay? Now that I think about it is the wife in that theoretical relationship even bi because otherwise that seems questionable too. Always feels like a man wanting an extra woman to sleep with so justifies it because "poly!"

No. 138820

I have two experiences with polyamory;
One is this BPDfag wanting to fuck whoever. Her boyfriend was suffering a lot because of the situation, but tried to hold up and short after called quits. Obviously she cheated on him regardless.

The other one was when I got into a relationship with a girl, my boyfriend knew it and we spent together a great time, but it was super frustrating, I didn’t have any energy for both relationships. She had also some mental health issues which added to the uncomfortableness.
I still miss her a lot and deep down I wished I would met her at a better time for us two.

I can see it working, maybe, but not for me.

No. 138828

Ten years ago I nearly joined (what I guess is called) a poly triad. I tend to be romantically attracted to men but physically I'm more attracted to women so it appealed to me at the time. Met them through a kink scene that I was already in at the time and we met up at a few munches, they're social gatherings in bars where other local kink/bdsm people join up just to drink and chat without any play. I wouldn't even call myself kink but it was a good place to meet bisexual women seeing as there was no real lesbian scene where I lived.

The three of us stayed in touch through messenger most days and I met them for coffee a few times where we would talk for hours. I initially quite liked that it wasn't rushed. When it came to actually meeting for sex our plans always fell through at the last moment. Two different times that they'd booked a hotel for the three of us (we all had roommates) I would be ready to leave the house when the woman would cancel giving a vague reason. An emergency popping up.. Looking back I guess she wasn't as comfortable with it as she claimed. I do think she was genuinely attracted to women and to me but was struggling with the thought of him sleeping with another woman. Looking back I'm glad it all fell through that early on. I imagine it would've only ended up messier if things went ahead.

They both messaged me one day (pretty soon after a failed meet up) to say that they had broken up. She seemed to be quite upset by the break up meanwhile he was still clearly pursuing me. I told him I wasn't interested in one on one sex especially days after their split.. It obviously would've hurt her if that happened and while she wasn't great at vocalizing them..I'm not so oblivious to her feelings. Up until then the guy had put on a good act pretending to care about the people he dated. I sent her one last supportive message and peaced out.

A few months later I played with a woman at a kink party, nearly became a thing with her and her bf, pretty much the same thing repeated itself. I slept with her alone once or twice and they split up before the three of us ever did. Bringing another woman into things seemed like the kiss of death so I stopped looking for that kind of arrangement.

No. 138829

Yep, that’s why people always use the unicorn emoji on wlw dating apps when they’re looking for a third. I’ve been on wlw tinder for a few days and it amazes me how often I’m seeing “ethically non-monogamous”, couples looking for thirds, and “I’m in an open relationship, my boyfriend knows about this”. I don’t understand why everything has to be like, polygamous or distinctly “alternative” relationships, like, can’t people just be casual with a few people anymore without making it a whole part of their identity?

No. 138830

>Always feels like a man wanting an extra woman to sleep with so justifies it because "poly!"

because that's all it is.

No. 138832

Literal cuckshit.

No. 138894

Idk about women, but a lot of men say they're poly/open on dating apps when they're actually just cheating.

No. 139803

IDK anon, I would want someone to be upfront with me if they're poly and have another partner.

No. 139811

I'm part of one. I've met this guy a couple years back who's in an open relationship with his girlfriend and he started dating me as well. Unfortunately I fit the stereotype that people in poly relationships are unattractive, dating him was my first and only dating experience and I'm older than most people here. Things actually go pretty smoothly, he treats me well and we meet once in a while for dates and sex. No drama with his girlfriend or other women either.
I know it's not ideal, but I needed some affection in my life.

No. 139918

you can't be sad and bitter about it, if you really want to have a swinging relationship you should just be with someone else instead of your husband

No. 139919

no shit he's nice to you. dude gets to bang two chicks at once. i hope you do youself a favor and ditch him or at least meet more guys yourself.

No. 139920

>open relationship is the opportunity to get closer to other people and see where things go
no its not, its basically to fuck other people like how the gf idea of an open relationship is. OP in that post is stupid.

No. 139921

>friend's been fucking other people behind her bf back
>she also has BPD
>friend's bf talks about my friends sexually and acts a bit like a pervert
i hope my friend doesn't end up becoming poly with her bf

No. 139922

some people are gay because of them being sexually abused as a child though

No. 139924

I never get that kind of relationship, its like the projared and holly situation all over again

No. 139926

>but I just wish people would partake in it out of actual desire rather than insecurity

ummm no, don't participate in threesomes full stop. its a mess and causes jealousy/awkwardness

No. 139927

just dump your boyfriend and date the girl instead if you miss her so much, you can't have both

No. 139928

i agree with >>139919 please dump him, you don't need this in your life and can do much better.

No. 139929

Because I can't have both I chose my boyfriend. I love her and wish the best for her, but it's my boyfriend I see a future with. She was way too unstable, too.

No. 198701

I'm poly, I'm engaged to my two boyfriends and also dating a friend from high school. I live with my fiancés and my other boyfriend comes to visits time to time. We function pretty well, My fiancés are engaged to each other as well. We'll never get to be legally married, but we still wanna have a wedding someday!

No. 198703

How'd you manage that? Are you guys normal looking?

No. 198706

Of course they are not.

No. 198713

File: 1626840192067.jpg (19.19 KB, 500x321, 1620335860640.jpg)

No. 198725

Boyfriend's brother is poly and its genuinely disgusting. The brother is still trying to get their mother (Chilean, born and raised) to accept their gross lifestyle and it's never going to work kek

No. 198740

Poly people are like the vegans of dating except worse because vegans promote animal welfare and poly people promote trauma

No. 198764

I've known some irl and they were so annoyingly vocal about how well their relationships worked…til shit hit the fan and then it's like they rewrote history overnight and admitted to having issues the whole damn time. Outwardly bragging all the time when it's not even true..then they expect you to listen to them endlessly vent about it afterwards as they reveal all the lies. It's insulting how they can treat the people around them.

No. 198793

i think my only experience is when my current bisexual boyfriend and I had a threesome with a man, we probably wouldn't do it again but i felt lucky he wanted it with a man and not a woman kek

No. 198971

File: 1626978068140.jpeg (1.03 MB, 3784x2363, 12B4E65D-5207-46DE-A926-D79C4C…)

im guessing they look like this

No. 201750

Ah yes the classic white woman going by something asian

That aside, there is an overlap of poly people and mental illness or being nurodivergint.

Some of my personal cows where both depressed or had some disorder and one of them was with fucked up trannies.

My insta reels has this Autistic asian british woman and her whole page is about being bi or poly

No. 201779

Anyone else noticed there's an overlap between weebs and poly people? I can remember the California cosplay scene in the mid to late 2000s was where a lot of this gross stuff started.

No. 201810

Everything about this seems off and it honestly sounds like this guy is seeking out mentally ill women to make them dependent on him.

Do you have a friend or therapist you can trust? If not I think you should really make an appointment. I really want you to have someone to turn to in case this doesn't work out.

No. 202107

>the California cosplay scene in the mid to late 2000s was where a lot of this gross stuff started
That honestly explains so much about why these people are the way they are

No. 202199


On mobile but yeah I've noticed that there is an overlap with poly "people" and autistics it's like it comes with the mental illness

No. 202342

This checks out. I basically came of age & discovered my sexuality in the anime convention community while having orgies with all of my close con friends and now I don't know if I'll ever develop meaningful sexual relationships as a result.

No. 203333

Not a choice? Is it 2008 again?

No. 203352

are you really saying you think being gay is a choice?

No. 213948

File: 1637356579517.png (424.6 KB, 593x679, a.png)

No. 213964

That article is so poorly written and biased holy shit

No. 214631

Bless anyone who can make a poly relationship genuinely work.

Years ago, I had asked my boyfriend to open our relationship. I've unfortunately always been a crusher of multiple guys aka desperate for male validation and thought I needed to satisfy the urge to bang others to be happy (insert eyeroll).

My boyfriend didn't want to sleep with other girls, despite me approving of it, so I went along with my Tinder spree. Learned some new tricks, but as it progressed, I started losing sexual attraction to my boyfriend, which upset me, but new guy, fucking flood.

Along the way, I had 3 consistent guys I was with and thought I genuinely like because lust brain is stupid like that and even considered asking to do poly.

Very (un)fortunately, one of the guys gave me an STD and that was the cold water bucket shock I needed to stop. After boyfriend & I got treated, I called the open relationship off and it still took like 3 months before I could even be properly sexually attracted to him again. My boyfriend has been the biggest goddamn Saint to even keep me around after that shit I pulled on him.

Although I appreciate the friends (now benefit-less) I made from it, I wouldn't really recommend trying it out. Sex really is a bonding tool for a relationship and throwing it around willy nilly can really mentally/emotionally fuck you up.

TL;DR: Asked bf to open relationship to be a slut, slut bangs too many boy and equates it to love and wants poly, STD makes slut close up shop, gf now realizes 'hey… maybe casual sex in a committed relationship is bad.'

No. 215342

I'm currently in a 2 year relationship with another girl. I have never been with a guy, only other girls(duh) while I know my gf have experience with both guys and girls.
We were discussing our sexuality last month, when I mentioned that I might be bi-curious or something. During said month, while we were kissing or having a private time, she started to mention things like "i liked when a dude did this to me" and would proceed to do said thing to me. Things kept escalating with a "male figure" been brought up on our, until it culminated by her suggesting to invite a guy to our bedroom. She said that since I was curious about guys and that she kinda missed being with a man sometimes, that it could be nice for us to explore this together (she apparently has an old guy friend that might be fit for such experience). I said that I would think about it, but didn't further it any way. She too never touched the topic, probably waiting for me to give her an answer, and otherwise things became "normal" for us again.

I really like our relationship together, and this curiosity of mine keeps nagging on my brain. I thought all my life that I was a lesbian, but for some time I keep thinking about man in a sexual manner that I never really did before (not in this intensity anyway). I know my gf loves me and she knows I love her, our sexual life is pretty active, but since that talk I keep thinking that there is a need in my gf sexuality that I will not be able to fulfill.

I've thinking a lot about this situation, if anyone of you had a similar situation and would be willing to share I'd be really thankful.

No. 215369

While it's ok to experiment and see if you're bi, I don't understand why it matters if you are. You're with someone you love right now and things are going well, so why bring a random into it? What are you looking to achieve here? I find that it's a red flag that your gf brought up "missing" being with men. I worry that you became fixated on this idea for the sake of pleasing her. Not every bisexual is like that but the ones that make you feel inadequate always turn out to be a waste of time. For your sake I hope her comment was just in passing and she said that dumb shit without meaning it.

If you're content and truly fulfilled with your current partner there is zero, zero reason to explore your sexuality further. That kinda experimentation is only really needed if you're repulsed by your previous partners sexually, or if you are single and want to see if you have chemistry with the gender you haven't been with before.

No. 216297

legit thought that the text was meant to be making fun of the insane original diagram once i saw "my husband isn't into bdsm so i found another partner who is"

No. 216311

File: 1638836136193.png (43.36 KB, 1287x477, ds.png)

same. ngl i wish it were a more active honeypot for degens to post so i can make fun of them but its comforting that its not

No. 216365

time to bag on a personal cow of mine

>bf's childhood friend

>became my friend briefly before i ditched him for being a deranged mess
>deeply into poly and weird kinkshit
>also in the renn fair scene and other weirdo attractors like yoga (you know the type) and swing dancing
>CONSTANTLY surrounded by women he's fucking/wants to fuck
>'falls in love' in a matter of hours
>becomes a depressed alcoholic mess whenever his main partner breaks up with him
>kept drunk texting/calling me to complain about his main partner dumping him for one of her side dudes for months after the breakup and wouldn't talk to me about anything else
>complains about being lonely post-breakup while having MULTIPLE fwb
>got wasted and made out with my sister (also wasted) right in front of me
>now polydating some insufferable they/themlet aka generic libfem girl who wears heavy makeup and has short hair

in conclusion polyamory is for BPDfags and degenerates

No. 216374

File: 1638899763948.jpg (92.22 KB, 1024x646, 1638566372495.jpg)

No. 216378

No. 216380

>CONSTANTLY surrounded by women he's fucking/wants to fuck
>'falls in love' in a matter of hours
>complains about being lonely post-breakup while having MULTIPLE fwb
They're all like this lmao

No. 216405

What about unicorn hunter couples where it's a straight man and two bi women?

No. 216577

polys who make it their whole identity love to screech that they don't count as TRU poly (along with anything else that could make ~the community~ look bad)

Delete Post [ ]
[Return] [Catalog]
[ Rules ] [ ot / g / m ] [ pt / snow / w ] [ meta ] [ Matrix ] [ Discord ]