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HAPPY MILKSOMMAR

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No. 134697

I have always neglected my personal hygiene and basically live in a state of chronic self-neglect, which is masked sufficiently enough to get me through my work and social obligations. Luckily I am conventionally “attractive” and good at my job, so my questionable hygiene is often overlooked by coworkers. I've been really trying to work on my self-care and becoming my best self, but struggled to establish even a basic hygiene routine. I have major depression, general anxiety, and ADD so the mental health reasons are probably all there. My goal for this quarantine is to just start taking good care of myself in this most basic way. Ashamed that I can’t seem to follow through on my self-care goals. Any thoughts and/or tips to help a sister out?

No. 134702

>>134697
It's incredibly difficult to get out of this hole Anon, not gonna lie. Try an app where you make a to do list for the next day and try to adhere to it, or an app like Pacifica where you can list your hygiene and routine as your daily goals and check them off each day. Drink a massive glass of water when you wake up, boomer tier advice but if I don't do this straight away it takes my actual physical being hours to wake the fuck up. Reward yourself for doing small things with a nice coffee, play YouTube videos in the background so you feel less alone and worlds away. Contributing to the g and ot boards here cheers me up in isolation/quarantine because as bitchy as we all are, these specific boards have a kind of sisterhood and a straight up, blatantly honest demeanor when chatting with eachother. Also, if you end up flagging your day by sleeping in or just depression starfishing in bed, don't write off the day completely, tempting as it may be. Get up and have your shower even if it's 7pm or whatever

No. 134705

I can't help you cos I'm in the same boat. I was raised with bad hygiene habits. didn't brush my teeth or floss every day for most of my life (would literally go a month at a time sometimes without brushing/flossing), would shower like once a week, wore underwear for multiple days in a row and barely washed my clothes. I even got written up at work for smelling bad (which is really fucking embarrassing). I've gained better hygiene but the shower in my house is broken, I used to rely on the gym next door to shower but they have shut down now due to covid 19. Idk what to do, I feel so gross. I'm in my 20's and have only just recently started healthier hygiene habits and now that's getting flushed down the toilet.

No. 134709

>>134702

Thanks love. :) Something about posting anon among us bitches and getting even a modicum of support really helps. I don't have many girlfriends IRL, cuz I've been too focused on my career (and not enough on my personal life, obvs lol.)

I actually just stepped out the shower and feeling ah-mazing. Lotioned up and about to paint my nails too.

Just need to make sure that I don't "rest on my fresh laurels", and get my ass in the shower again tomorrow so I can start a fresh 21-day habit chain.

>>134705
Relieved to know that I'm not the only one and I sympathize all the way. Since your shower is broken, if you really want to get clean my recommendation would be to get a bucket or two, fill them up with warm water, then get in the tub/shower, and dump one water bucket all over yourself to get your body and hair wet. Then immediately lather up with soap/body wash and shampoo. Put conditioner in your hair. Dump another bucket or two all over to rinse. Then, step out and wrap yourself in a towel and rinse the conditioner out of your in the sink. That's what I would do if I were in you were situation… granted, I'd do it when I was desperate to feel/smell clean because a broken shower would be an easy excuse for me to avoid cleaning myself. And what a bummer that you were written up at work… I have always suspected that some of my coworkers, past and current, have passively-aggressively tried to push hygiene in a more general sense by posting friendly reminders in commons areas and leaving dry shampoo, deodorant, and body sprays in the girls' bathroom. Usually within 6-9 months after I'd started working there, so couldn't help but feel paranoid that they were talking behind my back - but not trying to publicly humiliate me. Could just be my own insecurity about my own hygiene failures. I wonder though - if you were at the point where you're getting written up at work and jeopardizing your job/livelihood - why wasn't it enough to motivate you to try to stick to the hygiene habit? I ask only because I am wondering what my true motivations are too, so that it might inform me as to why I don't prioritize it. Whenever I have a boyfriend or date, I am suddenly motivated, but never for myself out of self-care or self-love….

No. 134710

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I recommend using a software as the other anons said. I mostly recommend todoist because you can sync between phone and computer, set notifications (remind me to was face at six am), and it has a repeating function (remind me to change underwear every day at 8 PM). I recommend using a code, instead of 'change underwear' 'change kitty litter', so people don't see your embarrassing shit.

Anyhow I relate to the hygiene stuff because my parents were full of shitty advice, "you only need to shower every 2 weeks", "don't use deodorant", and "you can use the same menstrual pad all day". I most likely smelled like shit during my teen years.
Adding my own question with does anyone have a 'you should do these chores every day/week/month', but for washing your face, cutting nails, and etc?

No. 134712

>letting personal grooming slide because you’re too lazy to unpack your nail clippers from your luggage

goddammit

No. 134715

Just another anon here to say I can completely relate. I have never been a massive fan of showering. When I read about people having all these great thoughts and ideas in the shower I just could not relate. I am just washing in there quick as can be honestly.
I started to struggle with hygiene probably after the age of 11 in particular. I would go for so long without brushing my hair turning it into a knotted mess in the back. In my later teens I was really bad at brushing my teeth regularly which I now have to live with. Sometimes when it had been a day or two too many since I'd washed my hair I'd just plop a beanie on and call it a day since you couldn't see the grease as much.
I still struggle with this and other than mental health I don't really get why. I have gotten better though so here is my take. If I am socializing I will shower and look nice. If I can't even do that might as well not go tbh.
I cleanse my face pretty much every evening now. If I'm particularly tired that day I might let it slide or use some micellar water instead.
I try to use a scrub and/or face mask once a week or so maybe a bit less. If you start doing this you'll end up missing it and implementing it more naturally.
Also I like to think that when you're doing pretty bad it's ok to not want to wash your hair. Especially if you're just inside. However as much as I'm meh about showering it is important to wash your body. I like best to wash my body at evening or night-time.

No. 134728

>>134697
>I have always neglected my personal hygiene and basically live in a state of chronic self-neglect
>struggled to establish even a basic hygiene routine
>I have major depression, general anxiety
>My goal for this quarantine is to just start taking good care of myself in this most basic way.
Same.
As a teen I still had basic hygiene but even thinking back then, I also already often went to school with greasy hair. I was embarrassed when some boys noticed that but never changed my habits. Once I graduated my life spiraled out of control, so for the last 5-6 years I struggle with showering daily, most of the time only brush my teeth in the morning, don't do anything for my skin, go for as long as possible without washing my hair and wear the same outfit for literal weeks. Nobody in my family has a long beauty routine but they at least wash themselves normally, so it's not really because of my upbringing. Sometimes I "joke" in front of them that I absolutely don't want to shower but they see it as a sign of laziness instead of an actual problem. My teeth are still alright and I don't sweat much, so they don't notice how bad it really is. One incident I remember tho is when I went to an exam after weeks of studying and it was really hot and I had worn the same dress for ages. In front of me were some guys who noticed that something smells bad. They were looking around for ages before finally realizing that it must be me. They couldn't even believe at first that it's a seemingly normal girl and not some neckbeard. That should have been a wakeup call but I only changed for the worse since that happened (around 4 years ago).
I was never attractive, always struggled with low self esteem and my weight. It's like a cycle, I feel shit about myself, only lay in bed and eat, don't have the mental strength to even brush my teeth, wake up after way to little sleep, feel even more awful and reward myself with another day of doing nothing to improve my life. I go to classes and I have a part time job but no friends or any romantic experience. People have downright told me I'm invisible. Somebody shy with no personality like me needs to be at least somewhat okay looking to be accepted in society, so I really wish I can at least achieve somewhat good skin and hair, but I always fail. Recently I bought skin care and makeup products worth 100 bucks, I brushed and flossed my teeth, exfoliated and moisturized my body and applied those products but after 3 days I reverted back to my old ways of not doing anything. I always start and quickly fail again, I can't stick to any routine, whether it's hygiene, dieting, exercising or studying.
I thought now is my chance, since I have so much more free time during the quarantine, but all I do is watch youtube and sleep in.

No. 134729

If you don´t already have it and have the resources, get professional help for your mental health first. Fix your mental health and your selfcare and basic hygiene routine will follow on it´s own.

No. 134735

Oh, it's always interesting to know that someone goes through same stuff. Especially considering that this topic is kind of a taboo. I mean, you can openly talk about emotional kind of problems, but hygiene… well, the shit is quite embarrassing.

My personal hygiene was the worst when I was 9-11 years old, and it's also the time when my psychological state considerably deteriorated. I am bipolar II. I wouldn't brush my teeth very often, went to school with dirty hair. There was a small period of time when I would comb my thick shoulder-length hair just a little, only to smooth it on the surface, resulting in a thick knot on the back of my head that I had to cut off with scissors (luckily it wasn't visible). My classmates noticed that my hair was often greasy but it didn't even make me ashamed, I was just annoyed with them trying to talk some sense into me lol. Fortunately I wasn't really sweaty and stinky at the time… I think I would've been told. Plus, I actually changed my clothes when they started to smell, but I don't remember at what point exactly I would consider them smelly. God, that's awful. For some reason my parents didn't even care, although my mom doesn't have this sort of problem. She would only ask me from time to time, quite rarely, if I changed my underwear, and I'd only get angry and lie. Yet no one tried to control or discipline me in this regard, and I think now that they actually should. And yeah, they should've helped with my mental health issues in the first place, but my mom preferred to think I was just lazy.
In addition, I was a pimply child and didn't know about proper skin care till my twenties. I didn't care if I were attractive and even if my crushes found me attractive. But then, when I was 12-13, I started to apply makeup, cut my hair short and dyed it, and suddenly it became very easy to go to shower often. A miracle! I would take long bubble baths. But it didn't last long.

Later I started to hate shower again, but it was easy for me now to conceal my crustiness. If I were sitting at home, however, like, for weeks or a whole month for some reason, I could be really neglectful of my hygiene.

And I still can skip brushing my teeth in the morning or don't change my undies for 2-3 days. I definitely don't shower every day but can't let myself leaving house with greasy hair. I forget to clip my toenails. The only thing I do is diligently maintaining my skin care routine and keeping my fingernails more or less neat and tidy.
The funny thing is that my boyfriend is super-hygienic. He wouldn't even let me kiss his "greasy" cheek in the morning lol even though it's not dirty at all. He also changes his house t-shirt every single day and wonders how I can wear same house clothes for a week or so, but I just don't understand why should I do otherwise if it doesn't smell bad. But he doesn't bully me or something, heh. His presence definitely makes me more motivated though.


>>134697
Maybe try not to postpone showering and plan an everyday morning routine and try to follow it every single day so it'll become automatic. Firstly, sorry if I say something obvious and you're already doing it, but try to improve your sleep schedule, it will help with mental health. So, wake up in the morning and go straight in the bathroom. Or maybe do exercise first, I dunno, for me it would be next level lol, so I don't even mention it. Go to the shower straight away, without thinking, take it, then wash and moisturize your face, then eat a breakfast, and brush your teeth after. I might be wrong, maybe it's just me, but I think that procrastination might be a problem, especially with ADD. So the best way is just do something whenever you think about it, I guess… or do some things in the exact established order. although I understand how difficult it can be if you have zero energy. In that case I just double this anon's post >>134729

No. 134737

I'm so glad I'm not alone. I've had issues with depression in the past, but as a whole I would say I'm pretty mentally healthy, I just don't have amazing hygiene. I also think the beauty/skincare/soap industry is a scam and we as a society don't really need to shower every day.
I shower about once a week. In the summer if I sweat I'll shower more, but maybe like 3 times a week. If I start getting smelly I'll wash under my arms with soap and water and carry on my day.
I've slowly been transitioning to no poo. I had to wear my hair up in a bun for 4 years so that was really easy to get away with. Now I'm at a point where my hair starts looking greasy after day 5 or 6 after the wash. When it does get super greasy and I have to go out I'll put it in a ponytail or wear a hat.
Honestly, I'm keeping my habits up for quarantine. I showered yesterday and feel awesome, but I'm seeing how long I can go without washing my hair. Currently on day 11.

No. 134744

>>134737
God you're incredibly gross.

No. 134793

>>134737
that´s gross anon.

Personally I shower every day because I just want to, but I also believe that most people with sedentary lives can shower once every two days and wash up at the sink every morning and evening inbeteen and be fine. But that doesn't mean you should be showering only once a week, disgusting.

Same for your hair. You don't have to wash your hair every day if it doesn't get greasy that fast, but you should wash it one it does.

you probably smell.

No. 134798

>>134744
>>134793
Nta but I don't think you understand the concept of this thread. She already admitted to struggling with hygiene and thus being dirty, why do you have to insult her?

No. 134799

>>134798
there's a difference between "struggling with hygiene" and believing skincare/shampoo are conspiracies like an idiot.

No. 134802

>>134737
I think the soap, bodycare blah is a massive money making thing too, but I definitely think it should be the norm to at least rinse down your body once a day or every two days max just because you sweat, buildup, etc, but well done on your progress

No. 134804

It's not necessary to wash your body every day unless you did a ton of activity where you either got sweaty or dirty. My acne was the worst when I was showering every day and sometimes twice when I was in my late teens and early 20s.
Once every other day or two is fine. You should use a bit of dry shampoo if your scalp gets too greasy. Lots of people overproduce oils because of the fact that they scrub their hair every day.
No one who's confined at home because of lockdowns and quarantines needs a daily shower right now, and it's prudent that you don't so as to conserve your hygiene products. Less trips to the stores.

Imo everything you do for hygiene should be under consideration for the virus.
Take teeth brushing. Do your gums bleed when you brush and floss? That means you've developed gingivitis–plaque creeping between your gums which could cause infection and disease. Most dentists are shut down right now except for emergency procedures, they cannot help you.
If you eat unhealthy, start managing your meals better lest you can't see a physician if problems develop.
Your wellbeing could depend on making the right decisions even if they seem small and unimportant.

No. 134808

>>134804
> start managing your meals better lest you can't see a physician

lest..

No. 134810

how tf do you guys claim body care shit is a huge scam when basic stuff is extremely cheap? anything that's a product will have a snake oil version, but that doesn't mean the entire industry is. just buy a $5 dove bar and maybe some lotion and shut up.

No. 134813

>>134808
No1curr

No. 134814

>>134813
>i use obscure or out of date words to sound smart, even though i use them wrong!
learn how to speak english you moron.

No. 134821

>>134810
The basic stuff is extremely cheap. The stuff that is advertised with all the additional cleansers, microbeads, essential oils, etc - that can add up. And some people think they need it to be truly clean.

>>134804
I'm the same as you, anon. When I was a teenager, I had acne and got ProActiv to try to clear it up. For the two months I was using it my skin was noticeably worse. When I stopped using it, my skin cleared up again. I always had the same outcome with other products, so I started washing my face with just water.
To clarify I also don't wear make-up - if I did I would definitely need something other than water to wash my face.

No. 134835

>>134810
Yeah I'm pretty low maintenance and buy my toiletries in lidl. Lidls own version of Head and Shoulders is like 60 cents a bottle.

No. 134864

>>134821
advertising and shitty companies don't mean that the industry is some kind of conspiracy like some anons ITT seem to believe.

No. 134865

lol and then you wonder why you feel so shitty and unmotivated all the time? small things like having a daily routine, showering first thing in the morning etc. have a huge impact on your mood throughout the day. just get off your fucking phone/laptop and go shower and brush your teeth

No. 134866

If you’re having trouble brushing your teeth, start small. Like, stupidly small. Go to the bathroom and put toothpaste on your toothbrush. That’s all you have to do. Once you do that you can go back to reading lolcow or whatever. Eventually you will feel like an idiot and you’ll just brush your teeth. And it will become a habit.

Same for any other habits you are having trouble with. Don’t lie there thinking OH GOD I HAVE TO SHOWER, make the action small enough that you can do it without too much effort or thinking. Think about it this way, do you have trouble eating or checking your phone?? It’s because you don’t view them as painful or bothersome, they are just things that you “do”.

No. 134867

>>134814
>i'm gonna nitpick one thing from the entire post that i'm misreading and talk down to people like a condescending bitchand pretend it's contribution

No. 134869

>>134865
>small things like having a daily routine, showering first thing in the morning etc
Personally making my bed the moment I wake up does fucking wonders for embracing cleanliness. A made bed makes me want to keep my room clean, which makes me want to keep myself clean, and that keeps me in a good mood. I don't have hygiene issues and I'm a pretty tidy person but it just stops laziness/complacency in it's tracks.

No. 134886

First day fully working from home because of the virus, plan on keeping a close to normal sleep routine and hygiene routine in the morning. Worried that I'll fall into a slump if I don't maintain that as normal. Slept in a little late this morning but about to get ready like I would any other day.. then sit home opening emails.

>>134867
Nta but thought the whole post had an autistic tone, then seeing the word lest casually used.. that shit was funny.

No. 134913

I'm so glad this thread was made, I've been having a lot of trouble with hygiene the last 6 months due to depression. I thought maybe now is a good time to try to get back into the habit of bathing daily or at least every few days and it's motivating reading about other anons trying to do the same thing.

I used to shower daily but it was a habit that took a very long time to get used to. Recently within the last year that all went to shit when I moved in with a new bf. I found out that after 2 years together he had lied about cheating on me but he begged me to stay with him. I did stay but it effected my mental health more than I'd care to admit. The longest I went was 2 months without a shower. Other than that about one shower a month with cleaning bits here and there at the sink or after sex. I don't really smell that bad because I'm not very active and when I do smell I wash in the sink. I am disgusting and I hate myself, I just can't find the motivation to care anymore. Taking care of myself never really amounted to anything and as far as I can tell the side effects of not showering are minimal. I don't have acne, I spend less money. But who cares about that it's just a way to make myself feel slightly better for being gross. I hope more anons post about trying to maintain a routine because it helps me a lot. The Luna Slater threads have always been motivating to me as well.

Please don't roast me for being gross I already know. I felt so bad for that other anon, the point of this thread is we know we have to change and we are trying to do it. It's like telling a fat person who is already losing weight that they are fat. They know already.

No. 134932

>>134804
I have super dry skin and shower only once in a two or three days. I use deodorant and wash my bottom with a bidet (thank god I live in a country where bidets are standard in every bathroom)

No. 134937

Does no-shampoo work, in your opinion? I'm wondering if I should cut down on the shampoo and wash hair more often with just water

No. 134952

>>134937
It does but you’ll still have to shower every day. I have pretty thick hair and found that the ideal is using a gentle shampoo every other day and conditioning every day. I’ve seen girls with thinner hair pull off no shampoo at all but if you have thicker hair prepare for grease.

No. 134956

>>134937
Don't do this, use a sulfate free shampoo instead. Hair needs to be washed or buildup is going to cause frizz.

No. 134961

>>134956
I agree. I tried no-poo several times but the buildup, transistion and hassle isn't worth it when you can just use a sulfate free shampoo, they're mild. Sulfates in shampoos are the same as sulfates in harsh washing detergents that strip oils, once you cut those away you've removed like 99% of the problem anyway.

No. 134964

>>134937
It's too long of a commitment to bother with for most people and might not even work. I wash my hair twice a week which works great for me. Three times a week should be the max for basically everyone.

No. 134990

>>134697
Focus on not getting sick, and rince once a day if you cant fully shower, anon. Til the outbreak is over at least.

No. 135410

>>134799
Well, I do agree with her about shampoo being a scam. not as a concept, but most of the shampoos easily available out there are trash, I wouldn't even wash my carpet with that stuff, and especially not my hair. And that's just unfair; I'm lucky to be able to spent 20$ on shampoo, but that's not even close to the majority of people

No. 136201

I used to be really thorough with the bath time where I would wash/skin scrub towel with shampoo and conditioner hair. I would do this 1-2x a week. When I started working regularly, I showered every work day but just rubbing myself down with soap and water and just rinsing my hair with water. When I just rinse my hair with water, it dries very quickly. Consider trying that, just wash with a bar of soap, wash your face, and maybe just rinse your hair.



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