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No. 125265
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Anyone male or female that dated someone so much younger has issues and more red flags than the Chinese army
No. 125302
I'm what people call a cougar, and here are my reasons.
Underlying conditions: I never wanted to settle/marry, never wanted kids. My primary motivator for getting together with someone is sex. I'm not looking for anything more in a partner because I'm not looking for a life partner, I'm looking for a playmate.
Fact: the older the man, the lower the testosterone levels, the physical fitness, and the general enthusiasm for sex.
I just want to have fun before I die, you know? A single dad of two-three kids or a business executive consumed by his job or just your average middle-aged man jaded by life don't have anything to offer to me, and I don't have anything to offer to them.
I have no desire to be your baby momma, your solace and confidant, your dependable rock, your success, your whatever woman-shaped hole you are trying to fill.
I just want sex and fun. As do young men. It's a win-win.
No. 125303
>>125264I'm currently in an age gap relationship. It's about to be 2 years by this friday. I'm 20 and he is 26. It's weird to think about sometimes…knowing that he lived a whole life before i came into the picture but i still find myself attracted to him nonetheless.
We make it work :P
No. 125325
>>125303"knowing that he lived a whole life before i came into the picture"
He lived a whole life by 24?
No. 125330
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My bf is like 9 years older than me. We met when I was 21. He didn't seek me out due to age and we seem to match up quite well in terms of "maturity" but I still feel like I'm missing out sometimes. I really like him but I can imagine our relationship would probably be stronger if we were the same age, it defiantly doesn't make it sexier or more fun or whatever.
I often feel like my bf compares himself to me and what I've accomplished and what he hasn't at his age. He tries to hide it but I can tell it makes him feel bad. I have more free time than him and want to have fun together (and don't mind doing the work to set it up for both of us) but he's putting himself through a lot of work and schooling and is stressed out by his student loans so that gets in the way of hanging out etc.
It's also just hard to separate what is our personality and what is the age sometimes. We kind of have a Dharma/Greg or Jeremy/Mark type of relationship where I'm more ~free-spirited~ but i'm not free spirited because im in my twenties i'm free spirited because I really put having fun first tbh. It's just a value of my family that no matter how shitty stuff is you can always do a little bit to make some happiness. He doesn't outright shit on me and I'm not insane about it but I do get deflated. I can't tell if he's grumpy because he's older and is feeling the pressure of if he's just "like that"
sorry y'all thanks for this thread it was nice to vent a bit
pic related me trying to have fun with my bf
No. 125346
>>125342I'm the 9 years anon do you live in the usa? That's where I'm from and it's not wildly taboo but it is kind of a long gap here to most people.
But you did sort of help because I'm starting to think my boyfriend is just spiritually an old geezer and it's not his actual age lmao.
No. 125421
>>125346I kind of feel like Americans are a lot stricter when it comes to age differences.
I live in Europe and my parents got together than she was 16 and he was 19 - which would be considered a crime in the US, right? I also know many guys in their mid 20s dating underage girls. Many even completely rule out girls their age. My friend's father is 20 years older than her mom, my 16yo coworker is dating a 30yo and nobody bats an eye. A friend of mine is 23 and dating a 17yo and while my sister and I find that gross my mom thinks it's completely a-okay. I guess it's the older generation who is very lax when it comes to stuff like that (no idea why), while younger people (but only the more educated ones) think similarly to foreigners. I also remember my friend dating a mexican guy who immediately broke it off when he found out she's underage - despite her being about to turn 18 shortly after that.
I completely disagree with OP. For centuries older man + younger woman has been the norm, but since Heidi started dating a (gross) somewhat young guy everybody and their mom has been losing their shit for months. They got together when he was in his late 20s, so no longer that vulnerable, plus she's a literal supermodel. His band is flopping hard right now, so he's essentially not any different from some dumb bimbo marrying an old dude for money, nothing to feel sorry for. I think she's annoying as hell but in this case people are only outraged because an "older" woman dares to do something out of the norm, something that men have been doing for ages.
And it's not happening super often lately, you probably can't name more than 5 examples.
No. 125424
>>125307I'm 39, men in their early 20's.
I meet them IRL, never online.
No. 125440
>>125434I just wanted to get laid tbh
>>125436Could have sworn we've had dedicated cougar threads before. On lolcow at least it didn't seem to be a rare preference.
No. 125445
>>125434Not to mention that they're still maturing physically. In a couple years they could grow taller, get hairier, become less boyishly soft, etc.
Sadly the best bet is to go after youthful looking men in their twenties. Ideal end is a (modertely) emotionally mature 18-year-old bf who has the genes to maintain his youthful looks, since then he's cute even
longer. No. 125449
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>>125264My fiancé is 20 and I am 28. It's a significant difference, and our relatives always point it out. He has a huge fetish for older women/mommy types/gentle femdom and I love to inluge in it from time to time.
That being said, the main reason our relationship works out so well is that I am really immature. I'm a literal diagnosed autist kek, I still have childish interests and behavior patterns. Sometimes I feel ashamed for dating him, and I've even suggested that he should try to date women his age but he refused. I love him a lot, but sometimes I feel really gross and predatory.
No. 125456
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Any anons here familiar with Aaron Taylor-Johnson? He was in Kick-Ass and a bunch other films, and was an up and coming British teen heartthrob in the late 2000s/early 2010s.
He's currently married to Sam Taylor-Wood, who is 23 years older than him. They met in 2009 when he was 18 and she was 42, after he was cast in a movie she was directing. They got engaged like a year later and she got pregnant a month after that. There was this huge controversy about it and to this day they're still defending their marriage.
I was only like 12 when it happened but I remember people who were in support of them said it was a misogyny issue (i.e "Anyone who disapproves of this relationship is sexist! Why can older men date young women but women can't date younger men? It's a double standard! People are just upset because she's an older woman, any of his fans who don't support him are just jealous and a hater!"). While there was definitely some uncalled for maliciousness (his fans would say she was hideous and he was too good for her), others (rightfully imo) pointed out that it seemed highly predatory for a women in her forties to get involved with an 18 year old. Especially since she has children who are closer to his age than she is–Imagine being 52 with a 22 year older daughter and a 29 year old husband. It all just seems weird. And just because men do it doesn't make it right for women to do it, it's definitely not "empowering" that she got with him. There's still some fans of his who think she's a predator and gross.
Anyway, a couple of months ago I saw an interview they did about their relationship and Aaron said this:
>Aaron suspects that their age difference never bothered him because his acting career thrust him into adulthood at an early age.
>“I worked in an adult environment from an early age; I had open, direct conversations with directors, producers, actors, where my opinions would be valued and matter,” he said. “I grew up pretty quickly — I left school at 15. I had a totally different upbringing from my kids.”
>He continued, “When I met Sam I’d already lived a life far beyond that of most of my contemporaries — I didn’t relate to anyone my age. I just feel that we’re on the same wavelength.”
Idk why but it just left a bad taste in my mouth; the whole "mature for my age/old soul" excuse is every age-gaps relationship's defense, and while I'm not completely against age gap relationships, there's something about this one that's just never sat right with me.
Pic is from when they first met vs. now.
No. 125458
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>>125456their relationship is seriously reminding me of mary-kay letourneau and vili fualaau. the only real difference is that theirs is legal but it's still an incredibly fucked up one.
No. 125467
>>125431I have the same age gap; he's 27 and I'm 36 and we've been together for two years. It feels normal, there's not really anything noticeably different culturally except he watched different cartoons when he was a kid. I never usually even think about the age difference and we more or less look to be about the same age. No one has ever commented on our age difference.
The one difference is maybe that I am better at keeping things clean and taking care of responsibilities but I feel like that's a problem a lot of men have regardless of age.
No. 125977
>>125421> my parents got together than she was 16 and he was 19 - which would be considered a crime in the US, right?Depends on the state. States have different AOC laws. I wouldn’t automatically object to a 16 year old and 19 year old dating though. Depends on the context I guess.
> my 16yo coworker is dating a 30yo and nobody bats an eye. A friend of mine is 23 and dating a 17yoThis would been seen as pretty gross in the U.S. Not to say it doesn’t happen though
No. 125994
>>125467eh, I was with a 34 year old man when I was 25, and I was still better at keeping things clean, so I don't think that's necessarily an age thing.
for the future, I want an older guy who's actually mature – or a hot younger guy. not going to deal with an older partying man child again.
>>125421yeah, Americans seem to be a bit stricter. my parents are 10 years apart. always thought that qualifies as normal (as long as they meet in their 20s/30s+. 17 & 27yo is weird).
> my 16yo coworker is dating a 30yo and nobody bats an eye.bonjour!
No. 126020
>>125310lol that is the exact gap of my parents when they met. not that weird imo.
i'm dating a guy 15 years older than me and i really like it so far but sometimes i get anxious about the future and what my family thinks. i am very nervous about future introductions, i think they will find him weird and think he's manipulating me. if this doesn't work out i will likely date another man in his 30's (i am about to be 21) because i find it really attractive and it's probably a fetish…
No. 133367
>>125265Define "younger"
My husband is 10 years older and the best man I've ever met, hence why I married him.
No. 523716
>>125265That’s a cope. It’s all shaming language to prevent others dating whom they want but will do the same given the chance. It’s long been more accepted then gay marriage.
Date who you want it’s your one life. Spend it as you wish not by other peoples opinions
No. 529818
>>529816He was about 23 when they dated.
>>529814Because past performance is the best predictor of future performance.
No. 532414
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>>532034Varies how old, granted some pale males age fast. But now a days they age well into 60s. Like chuck Norris is almost 80 and he seems ok
I think millennials will age the best. Not sure about zoomers
Think age gap has its appeal as younger generation of men are getting weaker and more mentally ill
No. 586718
>>586709Same thing happened to me except my parents are both thirdies living in their home country so I didn't even get to live in a rich 1st world country lmao. Was born retarded and deformed too because old man genes+smoker+diabetic father and mother with all kinds of hormonal disorders unable to conceive or give birth and needed medical intervention to force that to happen. So it's like I'm an incomplete human. My dad started to get old people sick during the pandemic and my mom had to take care of him despite having cancer herself. She passed away last year and this faggot is still alive and plaguing us unfortunately. So I didn't even get to live the good ending of the old man dying and us inheriting his hidden millions and me and my mom being free. Things went downhill after her death. He was also
abusive to her and she hid it from her family who were literally warned about him but they didn't listen. I had one of the worst childhoods possible because of this. She also was his second wife because muzzies and the first one was also abused and asked for divorce so I lost a mom to divorce and another to death. I lost 2 moms. Man I'm so pathetic.
No. 586720
My bf is 22, I’m 32. I never thought this would happen but it did.
It’s a long story but basically because my future is so uncertain right now and he needed to move countries, we went from friends of over a year (with me having a huge crush on him, but he was ldr with his first gf, a woman a year older than me even, kek) to a “fling” type relationship i guess in February, knowing it would end in June when he moved.
But it’s July and we’re across the world from eachother and we love eachother so much, I don’t know what to do. I have reservations about continuing the relationship because of the age gap - my fence sitting about wanting to have kids or not has truly ruled my life and this is something else it’s fucking up. He is nowhere near ready to have kids, so if I continue for years with him, and it doesn’t work out, I may have lost my window to have kids.
The relationship works because I am “immature” I guess I have the same humor and interests, and despite being 10 years older I feel like I’m in the same stage as him life/career wise - we were both living in a non-English speaking country frankly being incompetent together, and I will be starting from 0 in a new career my home country soon. Level playing field.
He is my type, he’s anti-troon and listens to my political rantings, he doesn’t watch porn, he’s not very sexual at all, very docile, great family…I can’t believe it happened but it did. And because of the age gap kids thing idk what to do. I don’t love easily, I have only been in one other relationship in my life, so I haven’t been this happy since college really. I wish I was younger or he was older.
No. 586722
>>586709>It's a bit shit because I've been worrying about my Dad dying of old age since I was a child. This is one thing I never understood about scrotes who act like because they can knock up a woman at a old age they should. Not only are your genes fucked but it's literally cruel to put your kids thru that…
>my Dad commented on how 23 year old Rose is basically a child compared to Ed. Even though he married a 24 year old at 54Probably projecting his own guilt
No. 587138
>>587085We met at a concert. He got into the relationship soon after and every time we hung out it was with at least one other friend. I was not interested in him at first because of his age and I was avoiding relationships because I knew I wouldn’t be in the country much longer.
Besides…it will show how naive he is but the woman left the country a month after they met and they didnt even speak the same language. It was doomed. I wouldn’t have had to homewreck even if I wanted to.
No. 587190
>>586720>my fence sitting about wanting to have kids or not has truly ruled my life and this is something else it’s fucking up. You are twenty fucking two years old. Calm down. Dumping him is always an option, especially when he's older.
Also sorry nonna but he sounds like a massive manchild.
No. 587241
>>587190Thirty two
>manchildYeah well he just turned 22 this week. But true I don’t really know what kind of adult he will be until he settles in to an actual career so thats a thing too