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Opposed, not for any moral reasons but because we just don't win with it.
Men get>pleasure >an ego boost>a status/reputation boost>bragging rights
We get>maybe pleasure if we're lucky but an orgasm is unlikely>a drop in status/reputation>a potential drop in self esteem depending on how shitty the guy treats you in and out of bed>pregnancy risks
It's literally letting a man look down on us and think we're easy sluts (not necessarily fair or true but that's how they think), and making him feel good about himself/rewarding him for it with pussy. Unless he is so crazy hot that the dick is worth it, or he is an uncommonly kind guy who won't think less of you for it, it's not worth it. Some girls like the validation and attention but I really think, overall, it's a net loss to our self esteem and confidence.
I have tried casual sex once after leaving a long-term relationship and I regret it.
I did not want anything to do with the guy other than to try casual sex, so it was not an expectation problem. It really sucked. I am convinced that it's just a bad idea.
I'm not a conservative or anything like that but I have to agree with >>114838
, it is just not worth it for women -
In the end, there's nothing, probably not even an orgasm, just bad and awkward sex. Also, some random guy had access to your body, probably thinks they're the shit because of it and will brag about it.
I have friends that fuck random guys all the time, they all have the lowest self-esteem and shitty reputations, and don't even enjoy the sex because men that engage in sex with a random woman that they perceive is "easy" will most times not make any effort to pleasure them and is just using them to satisfy their urges.
Sex outside of a long-term relationship is a bad idea for women, and I don't like how it is sold like it is so empowering and great since it's quite the opposite. That said, I think everybody should do whatever the fuck they want, anyway.
I agree. More so on the fact that men are very hypocritical towards women regardless if they participate in it or not.
If a woman wants to wait for the right person/time/till marriage?>"But what if you are not sexually compatible?">Guys don't like awkward sex/having sex with a virgin is awkward>"No one likes a prude.">Stuck up bitch
They always try to goad and pressure women into having sex with them by shaming them into thinking that no guy will want them unless they have sex.
Oh what about those who decide to participate in casual sex?>whore/slut/any degrading comments about a woman's sexuality>"You'll never find someone if you keep sleeping around with people">Madonna Whore complex is strong here>roastie/loose vag meme
They get shamed for being open with their sexuality. "She will never find Mr.Right because she sleeps around!" bs is often spread around. What if the woman does not want to be in a relationship and is choosing a sexually liberated life? Nope always a whore.
I think a lot of women ignore the cons because they feel like they should be able to act like men without dealing with double standards, but just because men do it doesn't mean it's not a horrible idea. If anything, it's worse for men to be sluts. Sure, there's not nearly as much of a stigma for them, but when you actually look at the consequences they face compared to us, it's a terrible idea.
Men don't have any say in whether or not a woman they get pregnant carries it to term. So, a one night stand can end in forced fatherhood (which it does all the time, but no one really talks about that for some fucking reason). And some women will ocassionally take advantage of this and use it as a trap. Not to mention, you could end up with multiples. Also, when you play with someone's emotions to get them in bed like "player" types glorify, you can potentially end up messing with someone who is very unstable and potentially dangerous. Basically, you could end up with a stalker… which, is honestly much deserved karma if you intentionally manipulate someone's emotions to get them to sleep with you.
Also, people talk about how casual sex fucks up female pair bonding mechanism, but the same definitely applies to men too. I've seen first hand how incapable slutty men often are of having a healthy monogamous relationship.
NTA, but I personally think that the government needs to step in and see things differently as far as support. I was a victim
of forced motherhood and I still have to support the child (the bare minimum) because I left him with the father. It's fucked that the government lets that kind of thing happen and just views anything short of a convicted rape as "two irresponsible people"
Me too exactly. I actually get off easier then, too.
At this point when I just know
a guy isn't into me that way, I just become so apathetic that I don't have fun with it anymore. Also, if it's longer term, they eventually aren't going to care if you orgasm or not. Like might as well just go home and use a toy or something, I can get off more times, don't have to feel insecure about what I look like/don't have to dress up or put makeup on, can chill comfy in my bed afterwards. As a bonus don't have to worry about how they're going to treat you.
I also hate how manipulative guys can be about it. For example, one guy seemed like he wanted
me to like him, even though he didn't like me that way, just for an ego boost, and nothing else. Others have called it "friends with benefits" when in reality there is no friends. They don't want to be my friend, talk to me, or hang out with me. They don't care about me. They just want sex.
I don't mind hook ups with people that actually care about me, but it's so rare. It's extremely disrespectful to me if I let someone have me that way and then they treat me horribly.
I don't do casual sex or sex outside of relationships. I think it's emotionally damaging.
Also literally what is the point in fucking males for free? Like some sort of unpaid prostitute? Yuck
What you wrote is literally my story, too. I don't think it's far-fetched to say many anons here went/are going through the same thing. We are socialised to want male attention, and when it's denied to us all through puberty dealing with adult sexual freedom can just end up being a trauma exercise. I still have that issue too anon, but I try to ignore it now by focusing on displaying my own core sense of beauty, instead of one I think most men will find attractive.
This was exactly my experience. I liked feeling as a "bad bitch" who fucks everyone, doesn't get attached and is free. But I wasn't even getting orgasms with the sex in most cases. No matter how much the guy tried I just couldn't cum because I wasn't that comfortable with him or had that special conection that makes it so much better. Thankfully this only went on for a few months and now I realized that casual sex isn't what I want in my life. I had one female partner too and it sucked as well it wasn't a male issue only.
I have a friend who's obese and has a lot of self steem issues but she's a metalhead too and dresses in that cool alternative style so she gets a lot of men in those circles. She behaves pretty much like I did but she's always complaining that she feels lonely and no one wants anything serious with her, then she says she thinks getting attached and pursuing a relationship is for stupid girls and shit like that, that she prefers to sleep around and fuck everybody but one hour later she's breaking down crying because no one sticks around after they cum.
i get that condoms are important, but why would a guy want to have sex if it doesn't feel good, especially casual sex? this is actually why i don't understand casual sex. condoms don't
feel good, at all. i can't imagine how they feel for guys either. so i just don't get the point of having sex casually.
True, pleasure seeking is the whole point. I guess I just feel sorry for all the unwanted babies that get conceived and people who get their lives ruined because of those. For what, ten minutes of pleasure at best?
Personally I've found guys last longer wearing them. A plus as a woman.
The only women I know who engage in casual sex are only doing it to try to boost their ego just like men do. They want to feel cool and like they can just fuck and not care and they’re such a bad bitch. Unfortunately, that’s not how women’s bodies work. They can’t just get rammed by a dick for 1 minute and orgasm like a man.
Pretty unfair. I’d love to engage in casual sex but I realize that I can’t get off with just PIV and I don’t feel like asking every stranger I meet to do specific things to my clit to get me off. Pointless.
When I lived that lifestyle it was obviously part self esteem affirmation and drunken arousal, but I also just enjoyed the stuff that goes alongside one night stands like fake deep conversations in dark empty places and just spending unexpected moments with a stranger. I liked those first minutes of arriving in someone's room and finding that, when you thought they were one kind of person, the things that they had said otherwise. Maybe that is just more self esteem bullshit but I kind of enjoyed the competitive aspect of getting someone you find hot to admit they're interested in you before you say it. I found one night stands much more enjoyable once I learned to confidently say no when I didn't feel it, and leave immediately or kick them out if the guy wasn't respecting that.
Now I'm older I hate people that are trying to manipulate me into sex so I don't think it's something I'll do again, but it fitted into that hipster kid time in my life.
I don't do it but, unlike some anons, I can understand the reasons. I wouldn't say it's only to feel like a bad bitch or to act like men.
After all, orgasm or not, it's a form of intimacy.
I've learnt people need a lot of it. I'm coming from a loving home, but we would rarely express it verbally or physically. So I feel like maybe that's why I don't need intimacy, as long as I know I have loving people in my life and can feel their love in the way of acts etc. But observing some girls I know, they need intimacy to live. They need touch, closeness, they feel miserable without a boyfriend, when they're single they get really touchy-feely with friends, some can't even be alone in a day… So I can somehow understand it. It's just a human need that has to be satisfied. If they can't get a long-time partner, what can they do?
Maybe that's soppy, but I can imagine that some people just want to be held, even for one night
Like any other self-medicating behavior it'll probably just make you feel worse since you'll realize it's just a simulacrum of real affection.>>115511
Men can just lie to themselves/others that it's for muh physical pleasure easier for biological/sociological reasons. Interestingly I've noticed that casual sex doesn't really "damage" women like society would have you believe (they are usually already dysfunctional going into it) but I have seen it significantly worsen men by making them more sexist, paranoid about cheating and giving them sexual insecurities. Probably because it's easier for the average men to convince himself it's a good idea and then he'd be even more confused when it makes him feel worse due to social stereotypes. But they have to put on a show that it makes them feel empowered and then women see that facade and believe it and want that for themselves.
The amount of fuck buddies I had in my twenties and I never had a single orgasm from most of them. I can get myself off in 3/4 mins of rubbing so it's not even like I'm hard work
Older guys were slightly better lays but still not enough to get there most of the time. Younger guys always had a 'list of things to try' in their mind. As they were sleeping with you they were ticking things off a list rather than actually doing them well or providing pleasure
Maybe it's just me and I'm getting very lucky, but I feel like things have definitely improved in that area with dudes lately? I'm 21 and currently sleeping around with guys on tinder: so far all but one have eaten me out without me asking, and all but one gave me multiple orgasms. (These were different guys as well.)
In terms of men I've actually dated, none of them gave a shit about giving me a good time. My casual fucks however have cared far more about my pleasure than theirs.
Cos I have a long term female partner now, as I said in my post that was back in my twenties
I can't 'teach the insecure men' anymore lol
I've always had sex in a relationship except for once.
I don't judge the girls I know who have casual sex but when I hear from most of them that they never had an orgasm until x amount of guys or cum once in a blue moon I'm a bit amazed.
I have a close friend who has a fair amount of casual sex but has never been in a relationship. I think due to trauma with the loss of her father in her teens she's sort of limited guys to a physical connection but she doesn't feel comfortable letting them in emotionally so she always goes on to the next eventually. I've nudged her once to maybe try to connect on a deeper level and potentially become romantic with someone but there's clearly some block there.
We've both bonded over losing our dads except I was a lot younger than her. I have had trouble letting boyfriends in emotionally as well but actually struggled even more with being physically intimate at times maybe because I hardly got to know my dad at any level. So casual sex isn't really something I actively care about even being single.
Not saying "daddy issues" are always a reason of course, but that can be a factor for sexual behaviour in women in a lot of different ways sometimes.
I had issues around a lack of orgasms with fuck buddies. I could fuck older men and usually come but then I wasn't all that attracted to those guys. I had a phase of really wanting young and slim guys but my god they were usually awful.
I needed to guide them through everything to stand any chance of them stimulating well but giving that much guidance really makes it hard to get in the zone to come
I figured if I wasn't even that attracted to the older/decent fucks I might as well stay home with a couple of sex toys, my interest in fuck buddies died out after purchasing some nicer toys
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i tried it once and it was terrible, no intimacy it was just bad. not even drunk me could be attracted to someone i'm not in love with. and his dick was skinny and it was just terrible, honestly 2/10
Ot but my bf used to make casual jokes about his small dick. It's 6 inches and has good girth so it isn't even that small, but he's really tall and has huge hands and feet so people tend to asume that he has a huge dick.
And most people still think he has a big dick because he drops these jokes at just the right moment and it's hilarious, so people think he's just kidding.
But he confessed to me that he used to do this so girls would know that his dick is not big, to spare them an unpleasant surprise (if they were mutually interested the girl would always ask if the jokes were true).
Sorry for the blog post but I found it really thoughtful of him, and definitely agree it's the right thing to do.
Being honest about dick size doesn't mean the guy will never get laid, it just means he won't waste the time of girls that are not interested.