File: 1553391540169.png (300.51 KB, 800x543, 9D6pnCV.png)
i honestly don't really like femdom as a very submissive girl so yeah i kinda yiked when i saw there was a femdom thread. to me personally it's just something that i find repugnant because i'm the furthest thing from sexually dominant
i'd like to be able to talk about my more submissive kinks but there isnt really a space for that here besides a few general threads for sexuality related confessions
look at like this
I am a very "vanilla" person and I like to think that the vast majority of humanity is like me in their sexual preferences
to me anyone male or female who is overly dominating or overtly submissive are both equally off putting to me
That's a valid
opinion, however the other anon likes male dom but yiked at femdom which makes them sound like a retarded misogynist.
Let's not pretend that there aren't many farmers who find male doms + female subs disgusting as well.
I don't really have experience in this field, but it's something I've wanted to try for years
How do you find a guy willing to do this? Should I just get myself a normal bf and then try to somehow convince him? But even if I muster the courage to ask and am lucky enough to find somebody who agrees to try this, it would mean that both of us don't really know what we're doing, which is less than ideal I guess… Are there other options?
you'd be surprised how many men aren't into maledom
to them rough sex just means Anal sex and some light spanking
I felt the same way. A submissive guy is the biggest turn off to me and tends to attract the mommy issues guys.
Since there's already a femdom thread this should probably be a maledom focused thread.
not exclusively maledom though
just for female subs
Switch here. I feel you. Domme/sub feel like two sides of the same coin to me. There's so frequently extremism on both sides, the worst of them seem to hate themselves and project like crazy though. Which turns me off.>inb4 not all domme/sub
Like the "sub boys are gross mommy issues cucks" anon as if female subs aren't entrenched in mental illness, daddy issues and excessive need to be babied. Or the "all maledoms are misogynistic pedophile abusers" faction with no self-awareness vying after "weak smol bf". God forbid we see men as multifaceted humans regardless of whether or not they turn us on (biggest irony of all). But yeah being bisexual I'm p much used to not belonging at this point.
In my experience most men see maledom as a slightly annoying default they're forced into all the time because of social expectations and how common female subs are. They don't hate it, but they get very bored of it and see femdom as a refreshing novelty. That's what I see on sex forums like Reddit's /r/sex anyway.
I have a pro femdomme friend who said roughly half her clients were men who were otherwise maledoms and just got sick of it and wanted to indulge their secret femdom fantasies but couldn't find any women who didn't think they were freaks.
yes but they would still be paying you to Dom Them
In a way they would still be the one's in control
It's very easy, anon. Just set up a Fetlife or Collarspace profile and they'll come to you. I have a Fetlife profile that I barely use and get 10 messages a day from male submissives begging for sex, plus about 5 a day from male "dominants" saying they want to cheat on their girlfriends with me.
I'm not very interested in men and prefer women so I ignore them, but you could have them eating out of your hand.
you're fine with people calling femdoms repugnant and male subs creepy but someone says not every man on earth loves being dominant in her experience and that's what triggers
>>112052>you're fine with people calling femdoms repugnant and male subs creepy
Where in my comment did you read that…?
I replied to that anon (or was that you as well?), because I took issue with her/you saying that "most" men don't like being a dom, but prefer subbing.
I'm just kind of salty because there's already a female domme thread and now this thread again is turned into a mostly female domme thread.
where is the lie tho!
Just sounds like you two have been rp-ing.
Or do you want a real relationship?
Have you showed him photos of yourself?
Is there every any form of after-scene aftercare? Doms can need aftercare too, and it looks like you've been dropping after scenes from the lack of it. Asking/starting to ask for aftercare and seeing what his response will be can be a good indicator of if he's worth keeping around.
The one-sided cam thing is suspicious, to be sure, but he may just think he's ugly. It would be more of a sign that he was taking the relationship seriously if he was responsive to your concern / wanted reciprocity either way, though.
If you wind up feeling you ought to / would be better off leaving but still thankful for what your relationship has been, just say that. Breakups, even breakups that would be for the best, don't have to be brutal or erase recognition for the good someone has caused for you. You'll probably come away feeling more whole if you break it off under honest pretenses and outline that he's not respecting your standard of reciprocity, but you're still thankful for what your relationship has been.
Thanks for the advice. The thing is that we've never formally discussed these things. Early on I suggested talking about boundaries and such because I wasn't comfortable with something he asked me to do, but he said he doesn't do that. A lot of the times I was sobbing after he left because I felt like he didn't give a shit, but I'm not that emotionally stable so I'm not sure if I was just overreacting. It bothers me because it shouldn't matter this much.
Basically whenever I expressed that I couldn't put up with his anonymity much longer he'd just give me a little bit more attention and that'd make me drop it every time. Not sure if he did that consciously though.
He said I should just leave if I don't feel content with things, but I'm so strongly drawn to him sexually, like (sorry if tmi) I got off just by thinking about his voice. Which is ridiculous especially that there are men interested in me irl so this isn't the only attention I get. I feel pretty vulnerable though and it isn't even a relationship so it feels like I can't justifiably have many expectations.
When it comes to BDSM, not 'doing' negotiation is a massive red flag. >shouldn't matter this much
Power exchange, even temporary online stuff, is a pretty big psychological deal. Your depression may have made you more vulnerable to your feelings, but feelings are absolutely normal. The whole reason aftercare is a thing is because people drop after scenes all the time, although subs and doms can drop for different reasons. Your story is definitely starting to sound neglectful and kind of abusive
if he's been coming up against your hard limits. A BDSM relationship is a relationship, even if it's not a romantic one. You are two people who either have episodes of power exchange or have a continual power exchange relationship, and it's completely reasonable to have standards for that. Hell, you're allowed to have expectations and standards for every kind of relationship you have in your life, that's a healthy thing to do. I would recommend prioritizing your long-term well-being over short episodes with this guy that only feel good in the moment.
In general I would say to try reading/watching more about BDSM relationship etiquette and why it's important. Evie Lupine and Morgan Thorne are reasonable BDSM youtubers that talk at length about the conventions of these relationships and why they're in place. BDSM is very structured for a reason- playing a BDSM relationship like an unhealthy vanilla relationship (no communication, negotiation, or honesty) can be very mentally destructive.
File: 1555279990313.jpg (77.97 KB, 640x880, photo_2018-12-06_14-13-08.jpg)
Does anyone else think that kinky dating is just awful?
Every "dom" I've been with so far either just pretended to be into it to get girls to sleep with him, or he turned out to be a switch after like 6 months of dating. They usually weren't as cute as the vanilla guys I could get either.
Currently I'm in a relationship with a really cool guy who claimed to be a dom. He's handsome, tall, very caring, respectful, and even a feminist. But, of course, at some point he confessed that he is into femdom and pegging as well.
I'm so sick of this, why can't men just be honest about who they are from the start? I have absolutely no desire to dominate a man because it makes me feel ugly and gross. He's okay with me not wanting to do it, but that doesn't really help, he won't just magically stop being interested. I wish I could make him 100% happy, I don't want to second guess whether he's really enjoying our sex life. I just want to be loved for who I am, and being a smol submissive catgirl uwu is part of that.
If I ever have to date again, I'm just going to pretend to be a switch, and then dump every guy who shows just a tiny bit of interest in the femdom side of things.
Maybe the problem is that I'm not quite desperate enough for the nasty ass grandpas in fetish clubs yet. Who knows.
>>113123>I just want to be loved for who I am, and being a smol submissive catgirl uwu is part of that
Please tell me you are joking… You sound like a troon.
I get being a sub, but a catgirl as well? That's a bit much.
Also cringed about the uwu kitten part but yES. Kinky dating is exhausting.
I recently had a weirdly horny phase and ended up creating a tinder profile that was basically just me very blatantly seeking sex. Since I’m a bit of a brat I wrote a bio that was a bit provocative. The amount of guys that were like >Oh I can dom and spank you if you want ;)
… I ended up deleting just a few hours later.
There was a tumblr (I don’t remember the name, unfortunately) that collected ‘I’m the domliest dom you’ll ever meet so pls be my sub this is an order’-messages etc and I could relate to pretty much all of them.
Also the amount of guys that think a good way to assert dominance is by just sending a dick pick (optionally with a command)…
God I’m glad I don’t have to deal with that atm
Doesn't hurt to give it a try. I'm also 20 and starting at BDSM now though I have a more specific situation than just dom/sub.
Be VERY attentive if you are looking for a maledom. So many guys are just looking for an easy opportunity to hit and torture women and are nasty mysoginistic fucks. But there are good ones too, of course. Not everybody wants it to be a lifestyle, all those things need to be communicated.
Go to a munch in your area, and meet new people. And have your big girl panties on for the inevitable manipulative types there looking to take advantage of you - the ones who will compliment you for "being so mature for your age", for being "a real sub", the ones who are in a corner by themselves and who do not have obvious close friends in the scene.
There's a type of dude that crops up in BDSM bars all over the globe, and is there to be a shitty, manipulative, gaslighting "dom", and I've yet to see a scene without one. They prey on noobs and those unsure of themselves, so keep yourself safe and make friends at your local munch first and take the temp of the scene. Good luck!
I know a lot of people are judging for the "uwu catgirl" thing but I need to get this out
I'm really into petplay and my current bf is the only one who has ever actually been into it properly too. My last bf was a little into it but was extremely dom, really wasn't good with the emotional side of the relationship and I couldn't deal with it.
pls no bully but now I have fox ears and a tail and cute collars and I'm so happy! I know it's ridiculous and a bit weeby and I guess a bit furry but goddamn I'm so happy. He's so gentle with me when I need it and our entire sex life doesn't revolve around it, sometimes a little vanilla is amazing.
But fucking hell, I'd honestly die if anyone else in my real life ever found out, we've very discreet and not one of those cringey gf-on-a-leash couples, I'd be mortified. I don't know how people do the "BDSM Community" stuff, I guess I'm just really private about that kind of stuff. More power to you if you enjoy it though!