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/g/ - girl talk

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Townhall is scheduled for May 22nd, GMT 2PM.

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No. 110714

I would like to discuss the concept of Girl Code when it comes to relationships with men.

What would you say are the appropriate boundaries of Girl Code? Do you think it should only apply to exes or do you apply it to crushes as well? Do you have any stories relevant to it?

In my personal experience, Girl Code has been completely abused as a concept and used to place unwarranted guilt on people for not doing what you want them to. Some examples…
>continuing to be friends with someone who fucked your other friend's ex after they broke up is "breaking girl code"
>being with someone's unrequited crush is "breaking girl code"
>being with someone's ex from high school literally a decade after they broke up and she's engaged to someone else is "breaking girl code"
>facilitating the ex they brutally dumped dating someone else is "breaking girl code"

My rules regarding Girl Code are simple:
>ex husbands and baby daddies are always off-limits
>other exes are acceptable if a decently long time has passed
>crushes are absolutely free game, just because someone declared liking them first doesn't mean they have any claim to them whatsoever

What about you guys?

No. 110723

>>110714

Personally:
>no exes of friends, regardless of length
>if friend is explicitly crushing on someone and made first move, I am not going to pursue.
If the friend is taking ages to make the first move, I think it is safe to say you should be able to make an advance.

For others:
>wouldn't care too much if a friend dated an exe after awhile
Too early would make me think they had been using me to get closer to bf
>would be upset if a friend pursued someone I had expressed interest in/actively tried to woo

No. 110732

Would you guys tell a woman you don't know/have never met (but you knew her social media) that her husband is betraying her trust? He's not cheating, like having sex with someone else, but I guarantee she doesn't know and likely wouldn't be okay with him going to strip clubs and spending a lot of money there. Like, is it girl code to tell?

No. 110734

I know it says in regard to relationships to men, but that's no fun and kind of Bechdel test-y. Here's some more.

>If another woman asks for a pad/tampon and you have one, you give it to her, even if she is your worst enemy.


>If a woman you don't know asks to stick with you to get away from a guy that can't take a hint, she's your new best friend until she feels safe again.


>If a woman is crying in the restroom, you are required to at least ask what's wrong and offer emotional support.


>If you get a compliment on your skirt/dress and it has pockets, the required response to the compliment is "Thanks! It has pockets!"


>If you receive a compliment on an article of clothing, you should say where you got it, and mention that it was on sale.


>If you see another lady-acquaintance in public, you need to mention how you "need to catch up sometime over coffee or something!"

No. 110736

>>110732
You'd be shocked how many women don't care if their husbands go to strip clubs. You'd be even more shocked how many women would strongly prefer to be kept in the dark about what their husbands are doing and would viciously hate you for bursting their bubble of willful ignorance.

Also, just in general, I am a firm believer that people need to mind their own business and not meddle in the relationships of total strangers. Especially when it comes to marriages. I have learned this the hard way.

No. 110739

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>>110732
I think it is girl code to tell imho.
I'd probably make a anon account and message (with evidence if possible).

I think a girl's girls would do the right thing (in my opinion) and tell, because it sucks that this girl is being cheated on. I think she would appreciate it a lot, knowing she can stop wasting her time with a cheater.

I would want to know if it were me, and even if she didn't want to - she really should know to make an informed decision.

No. 110741

>>110732
If you really feel like she should know, I would bring it up to the husband instead. Give him the chance to tell her or to explain to you that that flies in their relationship if it does.

No. 110743

>>110734
I love that you gave bechdel test-type exemples! I agree with the first 3 ones, the other 3 ones are like… nice things to do but not "code".

No. 110744

>>110734
>If another woman asks for a pad/tampon and you have one, you give it to her, even if she is your worst enemy.
I laughed IRL at this because I actually was in a situation where my worst enemy was freaking out about bleeding all over herself and I intentionally didn't give her a pad, even though I had plenty, because she was a massive bitch to me the night before. My girl code only applies to women who aren't total cunts to me.

No. 110746

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>>110734
I usually keep a stockpile of pads and tampons with me in the off chance someone asks me for one. In uni I dedicated a whole pocket of my backpack just for menstrual products lol. (ppl at my uni would regularly hand out packets of different products: pads, tampons, liners, and while most women were usually shy about taking one I'd just take them to replenish my stash)

>>110714
as for the other stuff,
my friends and I have wildly different tastes in men, so I've never had the experience, but
>ex husbands and baby daddies are always off-limits
>other exes are acceptable if a decently long time has passed
>crushes are absolutely free game, just because someone declared liking them first doesn't mean they have any claim to them whatsoever
sounds about right. though, I'd probably wait a bit if her crush rejected her outright.

>>110732
No, especially if I don't know her. I don't know her life, her boundaries, insecurities, or relationship. Meddling like that might make more problems than solve them.

No. 110749

>>110746
samefag, but to add onto my third reply, I think part of girlcode is to respect the other woman's autonomy. I will not say anything if I don't know the situation.

If I knew her and knew she would absolutely want to know if her bf/husband is being shady, I'll tell.



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