>>395576Thanks for your brave words, this inspired me to report all the 5 y.o. pedophiles that flashed me in the kindergarten to the police
>>395536Anon… if she was uncomfortable and it was done by force it's understandable that you feel bad about it. Have you talked about it with her? Still, you didn't have a significant age gap and it's clear you didn't really understand what sex was. You interpreted that purely as an act of love in a broad sense or something, I suspect you just wanted to repeat what you saw on TV or internet if you had a free access. At most, it can be seen as violation of boundaries if your sister didn't want to do it, but then again, children have shitty understanding of boundaries and can violate them this way or another because they're clueless or curious about the consequences (or lack thereof). If the relationships with your sister is ok now, then I'd assume it's not a big deal to her. You can try talking to her, it's not even necessarry to mention what happened (because obviously it can be super awkward), you can say you're sorry for making her uncomfortable/scared/whatever in childhood, that it's bothering you now and you wish you didn't do it. Don't demonize your 9y.o. self, it seems like you're filled with
toxic shame and intrusive thoughts, and you're looking for reasons to hate and punish yourself. Stop sleeping with an old moid, how is it supposed to make things better?