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File: 1403571838491.gif (130.11 KB, 2850x1123, noggin.gif)

No. 15

Taking suggestions and advice here. I'm open to all sorts of feedback. Also, general questions, support, and troubleshooting thread. If you see a bug or are having an issue please post it here.

If you want to email me: lolcow.farm@gmail.com


Twitter: @lolcow_farm

Please bookmark the Twitter. Status updates will be posted there in the event of site downtime or other issues. You can follow the Twitter if you want, but be aware that this may harm your anonymity if your Twitter username or tweets you've made could be linked to your real identity.


Info

  • Rules: https://lolcow.farm/rules
  • Max file size is 20 MB.
  • Boards have unlimited pages and threads allow unlimited posts. However, all threads will "bump-lock" after 1200 posts. This means further posts will no longer bump a thread.

You can read more site usage information at https://lolcow.farm/info. If you are new to imageboards, please read it.

Post styling

*words* => words
**words** => words
***words*** => words
##spoilered text## => spoilered text
~#words#~ => words
#any combo of ~ and * (example: #*~*~) => ミ★
#<3 => ♥

No. 17

I suggest the next time you post a .gif it's animated.

Just kidding I love you

No. 48

Can we get a the hover quote text like Unichan has? Or something like 4chan does.

No. 51

Would it be possible to implement those little pop-out quotes, like on 4/unichan?
Where reply posts are listed, as well as quoted posts showing up when you hover over them?
If not, that's cool. Stamrose was like that as well, and it was livable.
Thanks for the new space, Admin.

No. 52

>>51
>>48
Looking into it.

No. 56


No. 63

After posting, could you make it auto-redirect back to the post we made and not the main board? Just a personal preference of mine, if no one else wants that it's cool.

No. 64

>>56
Looks gr8
thx m8

No. 66

>>56
Sweet beans, thank you! You are my favorite admin.

No. 68

>>63
This or auto-noko

No. 74

>>64
>>66
>>68
Added autonoko as well as automatic quick reply. Tell me how you guys feel about the quick reply.

No. 77

>>74
Nice. What activates the quick reply?

No. 79

>>77
Clicking a post number while quoting a post is one way. There may be a keyboard shortcut for it as well.

A lot of the current chan settings should be similar to 4chan's default stuff.

No. 81

>>79
>>79
Okay, yeah. works.

No. 83

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

No. 92

>>79


Nigga you fancy!


Can I add that maybe sometime in the future we can get a decent looking banner? That would be the shit, SR never got one for some reason

No. 94

>>92
Rotating banners would be ideal

No. 97

>>92
>>94
Sure. If any of you want to draw up or suggest some banners, I'll add them.

I guess ideally we'd have one static image at the top for each board, and then random rotating banners for every board.

No. 99

>>97
Image dimensions? I might try my hand at it.

Also thank you Admin <3

No. 100

Should I add any more boards? I want to keep it minimal. 2 or 3 total I think is good.

No. 103

>>99
Image dimensions for the top image can be pretty much anything. There'd be one different one per board.

For the rotating banners…let's stick to 300x100, like 4chan has, I suppose.

Also, you're welcome. :)

No. 107

>>100
2 is fine for now I think.

If anything was learned from boxxyforever it was that too many boards to start off can be bad.

4chan has the right idea about only creating boards if there's a need for it. Or for containment purposes.

No. 109

Its looking really great.

No. 119

I'm considering either modifying /b/ to have poster IDs, or making a new board that has poster IDs enabled. Might be useful when people want a little more assurance they're not talking to a samefag.

Unnecessary, or a reasonable idea?

No. 122

Can we have a sticky of everything PT?

No. 125

>>122
Right now it looks like there may end up being more than a few threads about her. When things settle down a little, and if this board is still being used by people, I could make it just a single sticky.

No. 132

File: 1403580183158.jpg (203.53 KB, 1280x960, 1388457998419.jpg)

>>97
What dimensions would you like them to be? I'll make one or two tomorrow after work. This place isn't kawaii enough. I need more kawaiiness when talking about our dear queen.

Thank you so much for setting this up, admin.

No. 135

>>132
300x100 for banners, please. Any dimensions work fine for board images: use whatever you think would look best.

I'll try and work on adding additional stylesheets, too.

No. 137

Yo admin chan when you add stuff to the site is that why I could be seeing a 500 server error? (sorry to keep bugging you.)

No. 139

>>137
It would appear the server is experiencing problems due to the heavy load, unfortunately. I'm trying to resolve it.

I may have to end up upgrading the server.

No. 154

Performance issues should be resolved now.

No. 186

I'm not sure if I'm just stupid but is there a way to make it so that when I f5 a thread it will stay on that thread and not go to the front/rules page?

Could that be done?

No. 195

>>186
This was due to the annoying frameset index page. I've replaced it with something nicer now. Should no longer be an issue.

Auto thread reloading should also be working okay now.

No. 197

Please tell me if any of you experience the issue of making a new post in a thread and then not seeing it until you refresh once or twice. I'm tweaking some cache settings.

No. 224

I had an issue and had to refresh a couple of times before seeing it

No. 237

video embed maybe?

No. 238

>>197
Yeah, that just happened to me. Made a post about 30 minutes ago (I think?) left the site, came back and didn't see the post until I refreshed.

No. 241

>>237
If you add this, please make it an option to click [Embed] like 4chan has and not auto embed. On CatieChan the threads filled with videos would often take a long time to load, especially on mobile devices.

No. 253

File: 1403647543988.jpg (26.91 KB, 271x294, habbening.jpg)

>>224
>>238
Changed some more things. Tell me if it keeps happening.

Clear your browser caches for this site first, though.

No. 255

>>237
>>241
Done. There's a box for embedding a Youtube video. Put the full link to a video there.

When displaying on pages, it'll just show the preview image. Videos will only be loaded when you click on the preview.

No. 263

I'm currently messing with the default stylesheet. Trying to make it look similar to SR's, with a bit of custom flavor.

In the mean time, I've added a bunch more stylesheets you can use for now. There's a dropdown in the bottom right.

No. 264

>>263
Unichan stylesheet maybe?

No. 265

>>264
Unfortunately that's easier said than done. SR and Unichan both use different board software, so I have to manually port the stylesheet over.

I'll work on it soon though.

No. 302

Can we have a kawaii design in an ironical way?

No. 304

Is there any way to add spoiler images? I know we don't have a ton of nudes right now but seeing that the images are fairly large thumbnails I'd be ok with spoilers so I don't have to scroll past a ton of nudes.

If it's not possible that's ok as well. I just thought I'd ask. :)

No. 330

>>304
Done. I may customize the default spoiler pic soon as well.

>>302
Yes.

No. 356

What should we call you adminsama?

No. 357

File: 1403771788627.jpg (43.62 KB, 620x465, 10-farmer-mchugh.jpg)

>>356
"the farmer" because he milks the cows for lol

No. 363

>>356
>>357
You can call me Old Macdonald. Or just admin.

No. 369

>>363
Cow Tipper

No. 401

Just wanted to say thank-you, Admin. You're the best!

No. 402

>>401
My pleasure. ♥

I will do my best to keep this chan alive and well.

No. 427

>>402
A-Admin senpai how can we bring more people here?

No. 538

Thank you admin. This board is great, better than stamina actually. No more captcha, linked replies, embedded vids. I love it!

Long live admin!

No. 640

>>427
On the old board I heard someone mentioning something about 'efagz'. I assume it's another lolcow website. Maybe the board can get linked there.

No. 641

>>640
Efagz is pretty much dead since years, it is a livejournal.

No. 697

>>641
Dude, efagz isn't dead–I'm a member there, there's still regular posting.

No. 703

>>641
Also a member there, it's been pretty slow lately, but definitely not 'dead'

No. 720

>>641
a lot of the efagz members where on staminarose and have been wondering what the hell happen, there was just a PT post today.

No. 722

Efagz is still active, but to be honest it's mostly full of sensitive cunts like PULL is. I think it's safe to say that most Efagz members are overweight since most of the time they pick on thin models to the fullest extent calling them bones and unfuckable and shit but the moment you call a fatty like PT a fatty, they collectively get their panties in a knot and go on about why fat acceptance is so """important""" lol.

Why did Stamrose go down again?? I heard something about a mod getting tit-twisted and closing it, but have no idea if that's true or not so yeah.

No. 734

>>720
Do you want to post a link to here on efagz?

No. 735

>>722
A couple of users from /cow/ made false claims and came on SR to say PT molested a 3 year old child. They also pretended to be a couple of guys who knew britfag. The claim rattled the board, PTNR also said PT babysat a child of that age, and people said they were going to call PT's mom/get interpol involved. The the admin shut down the board.

No. 749

>>735
While the whole ordeal was a mess, I think in hindsight the SR admin did the right thing. Her closing the board not only shut up a lot of whistle-blowers, it also may lull PT into thinking because SR is down we've given up talking about her

No. 752

>>749
Agreed, she first tried to get those trolls gone with closing the thread but they always would make a new one, there was no other way than closing the site to stop it.

No. 758

>>749
>>752

The admin was already acting like a cunt before those guys showed up, like bitching about new members, threatening to shutdown the site, insulting the members collectively when she sharted her panties.

And my God was she stupid, "I DON'T TRUST ANY OF YOU" "WILL SOME OF THE /COW/ MODS COME AND HELP ME WITH MY BOARD, I'M NOT A NECKBEARD AND I DON'T HAVE ANYTIME BECAUSE I HAVE A LIFE" lol asking the same site that trolled us to come mod the board. ~she sure is wise guise~

She sounds like she just got out of HS to be honest.

And it doesn't matter what PT thinks, she's still under a tight leash with britfag around. It's not like we're getting any damn content any time soon just because "GUYS SHE THINKS WE'RE GONE :D" So fucking what? We lost PTNR, was it worth it? The admin is shit and so are you if you think otherwise.

No. 760

>>758
I'm not saying we're suddenly going to get a flood of content. There's no need to go full momrant about it. SR's admin was no saint but at the same time she cut short what could have been a huge frothy mess.
PTNR is still out there. If you want her "damn content" so badly, go PM her on the board she most recently posted on.

No. 761

>>760

People had already moved on after the trolls came forward and admitted they lied with those silly little recordings. They weren't continuing anything.
The damage had already been done when they first came forward and people started talking about interpol, contacting her (skypeanon), and her mom if I recall correctly.
Her shutting down the site is the equivalent of closing the barn door after the horses escaped. It had nothing to do with damage control, it was just a tantrum she threw fran stylez.

She then went to say on Unichan that she didn't want the domain anymore and would transfer it to someone else because she lost interest in it and had #real life stuff going on#

Have fun licking her paranoid twat when she reopens the site though, you wont be missed.

No. 763

I have to say this, admin was caught lying a few times. The obvious one was when she said that all the troll postings belonged to one IP address. That was confirmed to be a lie on n0chan where these namefags came clean (P-Logic and Mirrorman).
The other time was when everyone was shitting on PTF on this one thread last year. I was one of the shitposters, with maybe two posts. The rest were done by another person or maybe more. She then came in the thread and gleeful exclaimed "A LOG A LOG literally every post here against PTF was from one single IP", which she then proceeded to pick an IP out and post it in the thread followed with the "I think PTF is a pretty cool guy blah blah blah don't talk bad about him"

She has also apparently been secretly banning people that pissed her off when she said that bannings would only happen if you violated her only rule, Don't Contact PT's Family.

So yeah, I have no respect for her.

Also excuse the run-on sentences.

No. 839

>>763

Yup, Admin also banned me as one of these "trolls" and said my IP was the same as these guys, just because I was posting caps of the Skype convo,

No. 862

I wish she'd bring stamrose up long enough to get the links to recorded tinychats and other videos. Love it or hate it there was tons of content on there that's not posted anywhere else.

No. 905

>>862
I agree, a lot of old content is gone into the void now. And if she doesn't want to bring the site back to life, she could at least bundle all the useful content and give to us.

No. 971

Not sure if this is the right thread to post this in, but sometimes Google Chrome has trouble accessing this board and is only able to access a cached copy. Does anyone else have this problem? I don't have a problem with any other webpage, just this one.

No. 1003

>>971
This is the right thread. I tried to fix all of the caching issues about a week ago.

Are you getting a specific error message? Does the page say Incapsula on it? How often does it happen, and does a single refresh usually fix it? Has anyone else also been seeing this?

Also try to clear your browser cache and your DNS cache if you know how to.

No. 1058

>>971
>>1003
I use Chrome too but have never had this problem.

No. 1080

>>1003
So of course when I try to recreate the problem so I can let you know exactly what's going on and take a screencap, it works fine. Thanks admin, I'll let you know ITT as soon as it happens again.

No. 1099

>>1080
In all likelihood it was a temporarily bad link between the CDN and the web server. That means it should have a very low chance of occurring again. If it does happen again it'll probably be completely random. But if it does, a screenshot would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

No. 1270

File: 1404801805427.png (18.23 KB, 1366x702, error.png)

>>1099
Okay, I got it again a couple of times today. Pic related.

No. 1272

>>1270
I've had the same problem where it says the page won't open. It's happened to me twice today. I am on my iPod so I'm using safari.

No. 1284

>>1270
>>1272
Thanks, looking into it.

No. 1285

>>1272
I don't even use Chrome but the site got loading issues for me sometimes too.

No. 1361

For some reason whenever I click on pictures, instead of expanding they open up in a new tab?

No. 1364

>>1361
Small bug. Will fix soon.

No. 1405

>>1361
Should be fixed now.

No. 1606

>>1270
>>1272
>>1285
Please tell me if you get an error like this in Chrome or Firefox from this point onward. I changed a few things.

No. 1752

Is there a hide thread feature?

3 sticky threads is too much for me to handle.

No. 1764

>>1752
I'm constantly getting a "Your request looks automated, post discarded" error and can't figure out what's flagging it.

No. 1767

>>1752
You can now hide posts and images. Above each image is a (hide) button, and to the left of that you can select [-] and [+] to hide or unhide a thread. I've also unstickied one of the threads.

>>1764
Adjusted a few things, tell me if you still see it. The board software has very aggressive spambot detection by default.

No. 1772

>>1767
If only mcdonalds had this kind of service.

Btw I was getting the request looks automated shit then I just used another Web browser and it worked fine.

No. 1773

>>1772
Yeah, that's one way of fixing it.

If you see it happen again, one way to temporarily fix it should be to copy/save whatever you were posting, refresh the thread, and try posting again. You may have to go back to the main board page and click on the thread again to make sure it really refreshed in some cases.

I think people won't be seeing it anymore though.

No. 1973

Can you put in a button to skip to the bottom of the thread?
It gets a little frustrating having to scroll constantly on my iPad.

No. 1988

>>1973
This would be a god send, admin-sempai

No. 2004

>>1973
>>1988
Added. There is now a down arrow that will remain in the bottom right corner of your screen. It will fade out when you're at the bottom and will be clickable when you're not.

No. 2055

>>2004
Oh gosh :3
The admin listened to me. I feel so special.
Thank you

No. 2060

Apologies for the outage today. Everyone should be able to post now.

No. 2312

Site is telling me to "get out." Did I fuck up?

No. 2314

>>2312
Admin is testing some things right now as it seems.

No. 2315

>>2314
Thanks. I really like you, Admin-sempai…I felt bad.

:)

No. 2316

Sorry about that. I was indeed testing something so I could properly move the incelblogger thread to /b/. The "get out" message was not for you or anyone else to see.

Should be fixed now.

No. 2535

I've added better post timestamps.

All are converted to your current timezone. By default a relative timestamp like "5 hours ago" will appear. If you want to see the original timestamp, just hover your mouse over it.

Also, if you are from the US then the full timestamp will use the 12-hour clock and US date order. Otherwise it will use the 24-hour clock and European date order.

No. 2604

>>15
i was wandering what format do the videos play in? i converted a .flv video to .mp4 and the site didn't recognize either extension

No. 2647

>>2604
They need to be in WebM format (ending in .webm). WebM is a new format specifically for web video and audio. This is the same format that 4chan supports.

You can use a site like this to convert to WebM http://video.online-convert.com/convert-to-webm

Alternatively, you can upload your video to Youtube and post the Youtube video link in the Youtube field.

No. 4873

Still taking suggestions for banners or a site logo, by the way.

Banners have to be 300x100, logo can be of any size.

No. 6232

>>4873
Has there been any takers for the banner? I can fix something up if there hasn't been any.

No. 6234

File: 1407642119592.png (292.14 KB, 500x344, tumblr_lmjz5haMLy1qk48wdo1_500…)

REAL TALK:

would you ever consider combining PULL with this site? Freeforums sucks ass and it would be nice to have everyone and everything in one place. I would be more than willing to help code, install, or otherwise just set shit up. There is also a lot of potential ad profit in that for you.

email me if this interests you: prettyuglylittleliar@gmail.com

No. 6237

>>6234
>it would be nice to have everyone and everything in one place

Nnnnoooo. This is a bad idea. Lolcow and PULL may have similar content, but exist for very different purposes. PULL sucks as it is with all its SJWs and self-promoters. We don't need that shit here.

No. 6240

>>6237
This. Lain, I love you but PULL is like a hydra at this point. Get rid of one SJW or idiot, several more will take their place and become louder. I think it's best we keep the forums seperate. If it weren't for the retards, I'd think it's a great idea but alas.

No. 6249

>>6234
Yeah no. PULL's full of SJWs and wannabe aidoru/living dolls. We have enough cancer here from Unichan m'lady fags. I'm sorry, but most PULL users aren't familiar with anonymous internet board etiquette. Their posts stick out like sore thumbs.

Love you as well Lain, but just no.

No. 6258

If people want to keep this place semi-secret then I'd suggest the following.

1) Anonymise all links using something like anonym.to so that lolcow doesn't turn up as a referrer.

2) Disable video embedding so that lolcow doesn't appear in Youtube stats.

3) Might as well tell robots to noindex to prevent lolcow from appearing easily in search results.

No. 6262

>>6234


Really Lain, really? Do you think that your silly little forum made of bitter, butthurt wannabe-snowflakes who flip their shit at the sole mention of a gasp fat joke would handle the shit we write here? Yeah, I didn't think so.

No. 6265

>>6258
The problem is that this site still gets indexed and when searching some snowflake's name their threads show up there and many snowflakes search their names 24h so they end here sooner or later.

No. 6268

>>6265

Google and other big Western search engines will obey robots rules. You can even use Webmaster Tools to manually remove links from the index.

The problem is sites like Baidu who don't give a fuck about any rules you set.

No. 6276

>>6234
PULL and this site serve vastly different functions and therefore have largely different userbases. Case and point being the no rules rules here and the shit ton of rules on PULL. It would be fucking terrible if the sites were merged. Random visitors from PULL can't even lurk and not namefag/trip, it'd be horrific if they moved over en masse.

No. 6277

>>6276
Agreed, lolcow is more talking and PULL is more finding/archiving/discussing proof.

No. 6284

>>6276

Christ can you imagine if they merged tonight? The next morning there would be like 5 "post ure dolly face ^___^" and "selfie shoop!!!" threads waiting for us positively oozing with pasty, acne covered weeaboo teens.

No. 6285

>>6284
PULL actually got a rule against this kind of threads since many months.

No. 6286

>>6284
You forgot about posts throwing a fit over namefagging (omh you guise stop homo-shaming!!11!)

No. 6289

God no. It's bad enough some of those idiotic tarts derail threads as it is.

No. 6290

>>6286
So it basicly would turn into /cgl/ but without rules.

No. 6297

>>6286
Augh god, there will be copious amounts of that. Pixyteri thread? "You're fat shaming!!" and "I've never seen ghetto used in a Pixyteri thread but you use it for Delandra because she's black?!?!" Jessica Nigri thread? "You're slut shaming!!!! She should have the right to walk around naked and not get harassed!" Thread about some other shit? "OMG YOU'RE MARTIAN SHAMING!! YOU RACIST ASSHOLES!!!"

No. 6304

>>6290
One /cgl/ is bad enough…

No. 6309

>>6265
>>6268
I can disable search engine indexing of threads if you guys want. I believe SR always had indexing on and I think people were okay with that. There are some advantages and disadvantages to it.

>>6234
I sent you an email to discuss some options. As the others in this thread have said, it's probably not a good idea to merge the 2 sites into 1, but there are a few things that could be done. At the least, I could help get PULL off of freeforums.

Just to be clear, I do not intend on ever placing ads on this site or any other site though.

No. 6315

>>6309

The only downside to the indexing I can see is that regarding the Ostrenga situation it may potentially lead them here, but on the other hand they haven't uploaded any new stuff for a while and it's inevitable that we'll get found out eventually.

No. 6325

>>6232
>Has there been any takers for the banner? I can fix something up if there hasn't been any.

The banners will be rotating banners, so there can be an infinite number of them. They'll be like 4chan's rotating banners. Everyone is free to suggest or contribute a banner. In fact, the more banners we have, the better.

A site or board logo would be permanent and should probably only be done by one person though.

No. 6428

Can we make some rules actually? SR anons contacting PTs family killed lols as did anons contacting OCs. Maybe blatant racism too? Idk what some anons problems with Mexicans is but its severe shitposting that derails discussions. Not even SJW I just find it idiotic and gross.

No. 6432

>>6428
Seconding. It's really stupid and constantly derails threads. Jesus Christ, there's some strong assburgers here.

No. 6434

>>6428
>>6432
I'll strongly consider some slightly more strict rules if I can find a volunteer who feels they would be adept at objectively enforcing these new rules, as well helping to decide on what rules to establish.

If anyone is interested, please tell me. And if you want to talk to me privately, report any random post and include your message as the report reason.

No. 6473

>>6428
I'd like this.

Can we do something about unichan drama shit as well? It's starting to get a little annoying.

No. 6625

>>6428
>Maybe blatant racism too? Idk what some anons problems with Mexicans is but its severe shitposting that derails discussions.
That seems like more of an issue of spam. We shouldn't even touch the racism thing. What is blatant racism, anyway? You can't measure it, comes down too much to the admin's discretion which I don't like and I don't think she wants to make that call either. Spamming the board with inane bullshit is another thing entirely.

No. 6627

>>6625
It depends how the majority of people feel about it.

If anyone has any rule suggestions or concerns, please post them in this thread.

So far this board has been operating with essentially no moderation of discussion. All deletions and bans issued up to now have only been for Marijan.

There are pros and cons to moderating the actual quality of discussions. I'd like to see what people's ideas are before I instate anything new.

No. 6631

>>6627
I think when someone starts having a complete sperg attack just because they think they may be talking to a black, Mexican, or whatever on a message board, and is "triggered" into a sperg rage over seeing say a Mexican (or someone they think is Mexican, they should be given a temporary or perm ban and posts deleted because they add nothing of value to the thread. All it does it make people feel disgusted and derail the thread into oblivion.

No. 6633

>>6631
mayyybe. I mean spamming every thread like how there were is definitely annoying.

No. 6756

I'm tired of the guy derailing the threads into MEXICANS ARE THE SCUM OF THE EARTH, and HOW DARE THESE SLUTTY BROWN WOMEN TAKE PICTURES OF OUR RETARDED WHITE WOMEN.

Like we get it, your ass hurts, you're poor, and no, you don't have to mention it in every thread faggot.

No. 6789

>>6625
I agree with this anon, if you make a "No blatant racism" rule you open the floodgates for people who think racism = power + privilege. It's just too difficult to fairly enforce something that comes down to mod discretion.

No. 6812

I don't care about the racism, it's going to happen, but this unichan faggot cannot stfu about Mexicans.

Every fucking thread with a brown person in it or mentions a Hispanic person will make him go into a sperg rage and he'll derail the thread (BAW A MEXICAN SLUT TOOK A PICTURE OF PT WHO IS SOOO MUCH BETTER THAN HER).

No one gives a shit faggot, baww baww I live in a border town and the spics took over (you lying motherfucker). Border towns are poor to begin with and have ALWAYS been full of Hispanics from Mexico and Central America. There has never been one border town that was magically all white and then invaded by Mexicans.

You're a poorfag and you're mad you're stuck in a border town, go sperg outside. You should move to Detroit if you hate beaners so much, niggers are known for their hospitality and kindness.

All border towns are poor. I used to live in one, $900 for a 3 bedroom apartment at the country club. You must be really really fucking poor if you're complaining about poor Mexicans invading your poor neighborhood.


With that in mind, I don't suggest anyone living in a border town, it sucks and all the restaurants are Mexican. I mean I like Mexican food, but jfs some variety is nice.

No. 6875

>>6812
I'm pretty sure the person talking about Mexicans isn't from Unichan. Whoever they are they seem to be an old SR member.

No. 6885

>>6875
I spent a lot of time at SR and I don't remember ever seeing anyone freaking out about Mexicans, so I doubt they are from SR. /pol/ type behavior is more prevalent on the chans, so my guess is that this butthurt beaner hater is from one of them.

No. 6894

>>6885
I recall one retard on SR being super angry that Marijan confirmed he is a white European and not a "beaner" as they thought so it might be them. It wouldn't surprise me because holy shit, they needed to take their order of assburgers to go.

No. 6924

As a Mexican myself, I honestly don't mind racist chan, mostly because people here seem cool and not racists.
So, he/she can sperg as much as he/she wants.
It does gets annoying tho.

No. 7063

>>6812
That was quite a rant. Do you feel better now?

No. 8093

>>15
Requesting image hover in [settings]

No. 8094

>>8093
Also an auto update tick box.
Meanwhile, neat website.

No. 8097

>>8093
>>8094
>Requesting image hover in [settings]
Looking into this.

>Also an auto update tick box.

Don't see the point of this. All threads auto update every 10 seconds. I don't really see why someone would want to turn that off or increase the interval, and a lower interval would be a bit too much for my server.

No. 8151

>>8097
requesting /x/ board.
instead of calling it paranormal, call it "x-files"

No. 8273

Expand all images, and inline expansion toggle. And perhaps separate the meta into another thread?

>>8097
10 seconds is a bit low, you could easily up it to 15 or 25. Not even 4ch x has lower than 30.

>>8097
Tick box would be to let people save bandwidth.

No. 8333

>>8273
>10 seconds is a bit low, you could easily up it to 15 or 25. Not even 4ch x has lower than 30.
It is indeed quite low. I like it how it is though, and due to the way I have the server and application set up, each refresh incurs almost no additional load. It was 30 initially, and I eventually moved it to 15 and then 10 after testing. If this site ever gets anywhere near 4chan's level of traffic, then I'll probably increase it.

>Tick box would be to let people save bandwidth.

The amount of bandwidth used by a single client from auto-refreshing is minimal. It would only be useful for people who wanted to save me bandwidth, but again, there's no need.

I considered "expand all images" but I'm not sure if many people actually use that feature. Don't click-expand and hover-expand provide a better experience?

No. 8558

>>8333

just wanted to thank you for this website, really happy to find this place as anon again.

No. 9246

Can you implement the option to view last 50 or last 100 posts since some threads are becoming really long.

No. 9277

>>9246
I'll look into it. Unfortunately, this board software does not support anything like that by default, so it will require significant modification.

No. 9326

The page length itself isn't the problem.

1) The images take ages to load and because their size isn't fixed in the HTML or CSS they cause a repaint each time they load. Lazy loading images is probably the best solution.

2) According to the Chrome profiler there's some really slow Javascript calling querySelectorAll a lot. I can't discern more because all the JS is minified but it looks like it was written with no concern for performance.

No. 9351

>>9326

Actually it looks like #1 isn't true (but lazy loading could still help on mobiles).

The slowdown definitely seems to be JS. Chrome sends 7 seconds in querySelectorAll in the Jrcach thread. Also 2.8s in do_localtime.

No. 9490

>>9351
I'm aware of the slow loading Javascript. I optimized a few other things (like cross-thread post hovering) to skip processing all Javascript until absolutely necessary, but straight up loading a thread will still be slow.

I can tell you that performance was definitely considered. Believe it or not, initially it was much slower. I had to modify quite a bit of Tinyboard's default Javascript to make it faster. One thing I can't avoid is that some of the libraries I'm using (like moment.js for the time formatting I added) are very slow, and the time spent processing increases linearly with every post.

Client side optimization is definitely not my specialty. If you want to take a look at the unminified files, they're all here: http://lolcow.farm/js/

showOPLinks and do_localtime appear to be the biggest bottlenecks.

For threads that are under 100 posts, the Javascript processing time is pretty minimal, so a "last 50 posts" option will effectively solve the issue if people mostly use that. But I'll gladly take any recommendations for other speed improvements. Lazy loading for every post (not just images) might help, by distributing all post processing over the time period it takes for a user to scroll down.

No. 9538

>>9490

It's basically impossible to debug minified JS without a sourcemap connecting it to the original files. Most minifiers will generate sourcemap these days.


Going by the Chrome profiler in the Jrcach thread these are some of the slowest areas:

handle_images - one of the selectors is slow as hell or being run multiple times (or everything is running multiple times, who knows).

do_localtime - it seems to be moment() that is slow as hell. I don't really see the point of pretty dates considering the performance cost.

showBackLinks - not really sure. Probably due to the DOM manipulation.


The fact that jQuery is used makes things a pain as everything is littered with internal jQuery methods.

But overall I see a lot of DOM manipulation and think a lot of it would be better handled if the server output the desired HTML in the first place.

No. 9548

Okay, after looking at show-op.js I realized it was doing a ton of unnecessary work. I could rewrite it, but I looked around and saw that quoting an OP is fairly rare (for obvious reasons), so I just removed the code completely.

I also made a few changes to the time handling.

There should be a small speed increase now.

The code for image hiding is really a mess, but I'll try and rework it a bit.

>>9538
Personally I like the relative times, so I'd like to keep them as they are if at all possible. I know moment.js is really slow, so I'm going to look around for replacements.

I'm pretty sure 90% of the slowness can be found in http://lolcow.farm/js/local-time.js (which I don't think can be optimized much without replacing of the moment library) and http://lolcow.farm/js/hide-images.js

Moving things like image backlinks and related to the backend would simply be too much work for me. If I really had the time though, I'd probably rewrite this whole imageboard in something that isn't PHP, and with React for the frontend.

No. 9552

>>9548

Personally I find relative dates a bit of a pain after a day or so. Gmail has relative dates and it pisses me off (but you can get the real date from hovering).

It's OK when it says "30 mins ago" but "2 months ago" is just annoying when I want the actual day and time.

So only run moment on dates less than 3 days ago or something?

No. 9555

>>9548

The thing about hide-images.js/handle_images is that Chrome is saying that all the slow down is coming from querySelectorAll, which means that the bad performance is either all due to a bad selector or $('.whatever') being called a thousand times within a loop or something like that.

No. 9588

>>9555
Fixed image-hide.js. It should have negligible performance impact now.

The code was an utter mess. Whoever did the Javascript for Tinyboard clearly did not know much about it.

Note: Anyone who's previously hidden any images will need to go and re-hide them again.

Still looking into options for the relative times.

No. 9598

>>9552
You can hover over the text and get the exact date and time here too.

No. 11128

There were some problems where certain browsers were being misidentified as bots and not being allowed to post. This should be fixed now. So if you've ever had trouble posting from your phone or elsewhere, try again.

No. 12007

>>11128
Thank you for all your help, patience and kindness farmer admin. I'm really happy with how functional this board is, it's much better than stamina ever was.

You rock!

No. 14014

>>11128
Still having it pop up on my phone but refreshing makes it go away.

No. 14063

>>14014
Should be resolved now.

No. 14516

I'm sorry if this is just me being retarded but where did the Raven Sparks thread go? I can't find it at all and it was the best.

No. 14537


No. 14551

>>14537
whoa, thanks. I have no idea what happened, I havent hidden the thread or anything but it just didn't show up anywhere. Sorry for the hassle, and thanks again

No. 14830

>>14551
Hey anon, just wanted to let u know that it dissapeared for me too. Weird glitch I guess.

No. 15219

not the same anon as >>14516 or >>14830
but for whatever reason I can't seem to find the Kiki thread

No. 15243

>>15219
Kiki is here.

>>82

No. 15252

>>14551
>>14830
>>15219
As far as I can tell, this sort of bug should pretty much be impossible. Some threads get bumped off page 1 pretty quickly, so next time you can't find a thread try checking the first 4 pages and ctrl+F for it. If you still can't find it, please post about it here and I'll look into it.

Thanks.

No. 15293

>>15252
Maybe a catalog?

No. 15360

>>15293
Psst, there's a catalog at the bottom of the board page…

No. 16738

What do you guys think about the offtopic discussions?

The kiki thread right now is full of two people arguing about what body types men like or whatever, and it's so annoying. I literally can't read the kiki thread anymore because of it.

It makes it difficult to see actual relevant posts. A little banter here and there is ok, but when it's more than 20 posts offtopic, it's so annoying.

No. 16768

>>16738
They need to be taken to /b/. I'm sure farmer admin has a life, maybe more mods are needed to warn/ban the spergs? The mfc thread is getting bad too.

No. 16925

>>16768

Half of the threads here have turned to shit lately because of stupid offtopic crap…very annoying

No. 17302

Maybe when threads reach huge amount od replies, start a part 2?

No. 17307

>>17302
this is a good idea. 1500+ post threads are difficult to follow, even if they are great for archival purposes.

No. 17335

>>17307
>>17302
Would a "Show last 50/100" posts button work better instead?

No. 17358

File: 1412915757942.png (158.68 KB, 400x371, 1407232910742.png)

Admin, you know what to do.

No. 17359

>>17335
Yes please!

No. 17434

File: 1412965789870.jpg (20.27 KB, 1869x126, 88.JPG)

I just noticed this.
You are cool, farmer admin.

No. 17519

I love you admin I want you to notice me

No. 17683

File: 1413140693710.jpg (91.9 KB, 500x400, 291c8e01aab09085f722a22506a022…)


No. 17684

>>17683
I NEED THIS DOG!

No. 17804

Added a few rotating banners.

If anyone wants to suggest any new ones (or if anyone dislikes a current one) please post in this thread.

If you want to make your own, here are the requirements:

* Must be 300x100

That's it. It can be GIF, JPG, or PNG.

No. 17850

I love the new banner lol, it's perfect.

No. 18091

>>17850
There's more than one

No. 18186

I'm still getting the "Post looks automated; post discarded" error every single time I try and post. Seems to happen if I let the thread auto-refresh and don't manually refresh it afterwards. Is this just me?

No. 18188

>>18186
How often do you typically leave the thread up?

Edit:

I adjusted a few settings. Tell me if the problem still occurs.

No. 18369

>>18188
Ah, typically I leave all my tabs open and just close my laptop. So 10 hours plus.

No. 18414

>>18369
That explains it then. You shouldn't encounter the issue anymore.

No. 18547

Hey, I seem to be having issues with the forum being super slow. None of the images load, not even the thumbnails and the page is stuck on "processing request". I use chrome.

No. 18558

>>18547
Sorry about that. Are you still experiencing slow load times?

No. 18612

>>18558
nope, everything's back to normal! I don't know what you did, I didn't do anything, but thank you!

No. 18803

Could you add something against duplicate images? Because it is getting annoying in some threads when people think they found a new image but it actually has been posted before.

No. 18878

>>18803
Could you give an example of where this is causing problems? Duplicate images are disallowed in the same thread, but allowed between different threads.

No. 18885

>>18878
It always seems to be the same person doing this in Yukapon related threads, like this was posted two times in her own thread
>>12702
>>17421
And her passport was posted at least 3 times, two times in the idol thread
>>18788
>>18799

No. 18897

>>18885
These all appear to be technically different images (different image dimensions), so there's no easy automated way of detecting them. If someone is posting the same image for no reason please submit a report. I deleted the duplicate ID photo.

No. 18906

>>17804

How can we contact you with banners? I made would and I'd like to send it to you.

No. 18909

>>18906
You can post them in this thread or email them to me. My email is in the OP.

No. 18910

File: 1413941085500.png (60.37 KB, 300x100, harvestmoonbanner.png)

>>18906
EDIT: Realised I was dumb.

Here you go.

No. 18915

>>18910
Well it's the right idea, but ideally it would have some sort of reference to the site or be humorous in some way.

No. 18920

File: 1413943745235.png (40.52 KB, 300x100, harvestmoonbanner.png)

>>18915
Alright, how about this, then?

No. 18937

File: 1413948163602.jpg (25.47 KB, 300x100, huhhuh.jpg)

okay, my turn

No. 18943

>>18920
Getting there…

>>18937
Why is the creepy doll on the right staring at me

No. 19019

>>18920
That's not really humorous. Maybe if you shooped the moon into Pt partially, and cleaned up the edges around the cartoon cow.

No. 19059

File: 1414005493568.png (56.23 KB, 300x100, 879.png)

Here is my idea. I am not good at image editing so if someone wants to fix aspect ratio or fix the font, be my guest.

No. 19066

>>19059
Me likey! That and maybe add #savelogan?

No. 19082

>>19066
THIS

#savelogan

No. 19084

>>19059
Lol this is awesome

No. 19100

File: 1414027359125.jpg (43.87 KB, 300x100, lolcow.jpg)

If the size needs fixing go ahead. Here is my banner.

No. 19121

>>19100
>Traci Hines and Doe Deere

I FUCKING LOVE YOU, ANON.
MY SIDES.

No. 19122

>>19100
You should censor OC's titties with elmos.

No. 19127


No. 19133

File: 1414040103257.jpg (44.99 KB, 300x100, lolcow copy.jpg)

Nice to know my work is appreciated. I couldn't decide which version I liked so there is this one…

No. 19134

File: 1414040258567.jpg (45.11 KB, 300x100, lolcow copy2.jpg)

this one….(I found it creepy the extra elmo peeking from the bottom)

No. 19136

File: 1414040590945.jpg (45.24 KB, 300x100, lolcow copy3.jpg)

And the final one.

No. 19137

>>19134
Thissss one.

No. 19138

I got another suggestion for a banner, have a regular picture of oc, then put a picture of hers through one of those "you when you're older!" websites

No. 19145

>No banner with our queen

Looks like I have some work to do when I get home

No. 19147

>>19145

wat…

No. 19148

File: 1414048986457.jpg (69.17 KB, 500x699, tumblr_m7a2r2EBme1rbvxhyo1_500…)

>>19147
u srs?

No. 19150

File: 1414049138597.jpg (7.39 KB, 519x67, tumblr_mhd1i0yx301rbvxhyo1_128…)

not the right aspect ratio but I only have paint to work with on this computer

No. 19157

File: 1414052997842.png (24.72 KB, 300x100, ptbanner.png)

>>19150

Only the best for our queen

No. 19158

>>19157
I couldn't have done it better! You're the best, anon!

No. 19166

File: 1414064040388.png (51.29 KB, 300x100, banner01.png)

I-I couldn't resist.

No. 19172

>>19166
That's absolutely glorious

No. 19189

File: 1414078961657.png (20.36 KB, 500x66, pizzletizzle.png)

I have absolutely 0 shoop skills, so if anyone thinks this might work, have at it

No. 19191

File: 1414081053604.gif (2.85 MB, 933x311, Untitled-3.gif)


No. 19213

>>19191
fucking perfect

No. 19232

File: 1414098064829.gif (267.54 KB, 300x100, chocolate.gif)

>>19191
Thank you anon!! Marry me?

No. 19236

You're all doing God's work.

No. 19332

Awesome banners. I added all the new ones.

Keep em coming.

No. 19589

>>19232
I love you so hard for this.

No. 19694

>>19589
It was >>19191 that did all the work, I just resized it
But I love you too bb

No. 20088

I hate to be a picky bint, but is anyone else bothered by how whenever you quick reply to a commment in a thread, you're automatically scrolled down to the bottom of the thread?

I find that really annoying, especially if I want to read a long thread, or some very old posts, I'll immediately lose where I was reading in the thread.

No. 20145

>>20088
Quick replies will now no longer scroll to the bottom of the thread. They will still highlight the post you made. Regular replies will also still scroll to the bottom.

If anyone dislikes this new behavior or finds any bugs, please discuss it here.

No. 20159

File: 1414712926296.gif (21.34 KB, 450x339, graphics-thank-you-287568.gif)

>>20145
Thank you admin-chan! You da best!

No. 20251

Is a show 50 replies thing going to be implemented? These threads are massive and it's really tough to scroll through on mobile especially (but pretty bad on computer too).

No. 20261

>>20251
It's been on the table for a while now. Unfortunately it's kind of difficult to implement due to various reasons, but still possible.

It should be done by next week.

No. 20386

>>20261
admin you're spoiling us! Thank you so much though, we never had an admin this tech savvy before.

No. 20393

File: 1414851485518.gif (415.43 KB, 500x287, Happy-and-excited-gif.gif)

>>20145
I just tried it out and it works so great, I'm so happy!

No. 20887

File: 1415000641777.png (54.38 KB, 300x100, banner1.png)


No. 20888

File: 1415000701731.png (61.25 KB, 300x100, bannernig.png)


No. 20889

>>20887

Well deserved. Anon, you rock. Many internets to you sir.

No. 20911

>>20888
Lmao I love this one. Well played anon.

No. 20945

File: 1415030066896.jpeg (37.02 KB, 275x92, sdsdsdds.jpeg)

To the anon that made this into banner format, hope my little fix (the r was hidden) is ok.

No. 20963

>>20945
It is. Thank you for fixing it.

No. 21015

>>20945
Could you (or someone) resize this to 300x100 please? It works okay as it is but I'd like to keep them all standardized.

No. 21017

File: 1415056622618.png (79.37 KB, 300x100, thats so lolcow2.png)

>>21015
I think I got it the right size.

No. 21026

>>21017
Thanks. On second thought, I may just keep >>20945 to avoid the image stretching.

No. 21223

File: 1415136876416.png (41.03 KB, 300x100, 86533.png)


No. 21226

>>21223
This one is my new favorite

No. 21243

File: 1415141931730.jpg (713.09 KB, 1149x962, Farmer.jpg)

Hey there farmer admin, some people in the raven thread have been asking for u

>>20952

No. 21323

>>21223
I love you

No. 21498

Very temporary posting issue. Fixed now.

No. 21503

File: 1415233296289.gif (2.28 MB, 350x197, Crying-gifs-10112013-01.gif)

>>21498
I was scared that the site had gone down forever, I was getting flashbacks from the war/staminarose.

No. 21628

You can now spoiler text as follows:

##spoilered text here## => spoilered text here

No. 21750

File: 1415335690477.png (Spoiler Image,414.85 KB, 800x510, there will be ham.png)

>>19232
Mind if I use this one on /cow/? It's pretty great.

No. 21777

>>21750
I don't get the joke, ham?

No. 21834

>>21750
>>21777
I dont get it either. Is this a kosher joke?

No. 21837

Is anyone else having trouble getting to the "HAES" thread? >>6396
Nothing loads for me and the post count doesn't seem to have gone up so I am assuming it isn't just me.

No. 21839

>>21837
I can't read the thread either, and it's my favourite thread too. It was getting kinda bloated already (pun intended) so maybe we should just make a new one?

No. 21840

>>21839
It's my fave too, I really miss it. It's inspired me to start toning myself up more. It terrifies me to be one of those people.

There's 1.5k posts, I guess we could make a new one to lay off the tldr of the whole thing.

No. 21907

>>21837
>>21839
>>21840
Fixed, sorry about that. >>6396 should work now.

Also, some time soon the problem of extremely long threads should be resolved to some degree.

No. 22981

File: 1415825832881.jpg (49.39 KB, 400x400, 1363343983812.jpg)

Admin-san
Please be a saint and set a cap to threads, requiring people to make a new one at around 800-1000
It'll be great, but it's fine if you cannot.
Also, is there a such thing as a archive on this website?

No. 23058

>>22981

Honestly, I think this is something we can do ourselves. It doesn't have to be a rule because people aren't against making new threads when the current one is too long.
How about we all just make a new thread when it reaches 1000 posts. We can start on the Dakota/Weirdo-sister-I-forget-her-name one.

I'd do it, but I don't follow her and I like it when the first original post has a funny picture/screenshot, some info to enlighten the new, and continue the conversation where it last left off. (something about her eating "vegan" Japanese treats or something).

Of course these aren't guidelines, be creative! Be funny!

No. 23124

>>22981
For the time being, I've disabled bumping for all threads that have more than 1200 posts. This means you can still post in them, but new posts will no longer bump the thread. This should encourage people to make new ones when they want to continue active discussions.

This may be subject to change.

As for an archive, I'm not sure there's a point? I have disabled thread pruning, so all threads will last forever and will effectively be archived by default.

No. 23182

File: 1415845879836.png (136.31 KB, 634x354, thumbs-up.png)

>>23058
I felt like it was getting TOO long, and I think it goes for all threads, but like Admin said, it'll encourage to start a new thread.
T-Thank you for suggestion, anon.
>>23124
Thanks.
I didn't know there was an archive, thank you admin, pls let me chu chu ya.

No. 23560

Is the Doe Deere thread gone? I wanted to post something hilarious, but I can't find it!

No. 23563

>>23560
Here you go.

http://lolcow.farm/pt/res/15719.html

Also did you try and use the catalog?

No. 23567

>>23563

Thanks anon, and no, I didn't even know we had a catalog!

I'll check it :)

No. 24871

File: 1416309661404.png (232.64 KB, 1440x900, wat.png)

anyone have any idea what this is? i didn't fill it out - i just went to straight lolcow.farm and clicked on /pt/, which apparently bypasses it.

No. 24878

>>24871
This just means it thought you might have been a bot instead of a human. If it comes up, you only have to enter the captcha once (ever).

The fact that it let you through after leaving the page just means its initial guess about you being a bot was wrong, and the second time it properly verified you.

No. 25294

Sorry about the outage today. The site was inaccessible for an hour or two.

Some people may still be unable access the site for 24 hours due to domain changes that can be slow to propagate. Other than that, everything should be okay now.

We're now using Cloudflare, so please report any issues you see regarding performance or consistency. If you post in a thread and don't see the post appear when you refresh or change pages, please report that too.

No. 25311

File: 1416448604692.jpg (35.67 KB, 514x720, 10736160_734340919980989_14449…)

Admin, you really are the best

No. 25505

File: 1416522574974.jpg (235.57 KB, 1280x960, 1406254792446.jpg)

>>25294
thank you for the heads up admin

I love how you're involved in this site, you care about its upkeep, you gave us cool banners and did all that coding stuff

you're the best admin we've ever had. our previous admins gave me PTSD that's how bad they were as leaders

No. 25546


No. 25549

The site will now be moving to full HTTPS.

If you're getting errors or are unable to see the banner, you probably need to flush your DNS cache. Instructions for doing so across all operating systems can be found here: How to clear the DNS cache

For Windows, it is ipconfig /flushdns from the command line. If you're still encountering problems after doing so, please describe your issue in this thread.

No. 25555

File: 1416528890989.jpg (26.81 KB, 600x375, 600492_652053978155670_2830047…)

You earned this admin ♥

No. 25563

Hey, I keep getting an error that I can't post : <

No. 25565

>>25563
oh wait nvm, it's fine now

No. 25566

There are going to be a few hiccups, sorry.

For now I've disabled forced HTTPS. Everyone please see if you can visit https://lolcow.farm directly. If you get an error, please post it in this thread. If you have any issues you should still be able to use http://lolcow.farm without any errors.

No. 25885

hello admin-chan overlord we love you

No. 25969

>>25566
Admin-senpai, will i be able to access this board from school with the https?

also, will you also add a back to top button? it's hell scrolling back through threads to post on mobile
:'<

No. 26028

>>25969
If you have an iPhone (might work on Android too) you can tap the clock on your status bar, to take the page all the way to the top

No. 26044

Hey admin I was wondering if you could make the reply window movable?

No. 26045

>>25969
>will i be able to access this board from school with the https?
Yes, it should work fine. Unless your school is blocking all HTTPS everywhere, which is very unlikely.

>also, will you also add a back to top button? it's hell scrolling back through threads to post on mobile

If you just want to reply to a post on your phone, you should be able to click on any post number and then see a Quick Reply box appear (it will also automatically quote the post). Also, you should have a hovering Quick Reply link that follows as you scroll. If either of those things don't appear, then please tell me what generation of phone you have, because that would suggest your phone does not properly support Javascript.

However, I have also added an up arrow just now.

>>26044
Done.

Note: You may need to clear your browser cache to see these new changes appear. You can either wait a day, or manually clear the cache.

No. 26046

File: 1416789650534.jpg (32.35 KB, 500x334, 1416318898062.jpg)

>>26045
Aw yisss thank you.

No. 26051

>>26028
the clock thing didn't work :'(
>>26045
idk my school is pretty strict. they blocked google translate lol.
hmm. it's Android 4.1.2 if that's what you mean by generation?

No. 26052

i forgot to say thank you.

thank you!!

No. 26054

omg I had a moment, forgive me

I have fourth generation ugh

No. 26057

>>26051
>idk my school is pretty strict. they blocked google translate lol.
The site is only accessible over HTTPS now, so try accessing it from school. If you can't, then your only option is to try and find a proxy that isn't blocked, sorry.

>it's Android 4.1.2 if that's what you mean by generation?

That's a fairly recent phone. In that case, you should be seeing a Quick Reply box when you click on post numbers. You should also be seeing the Quick Reply floating link on the right.

No. 26139

Long threads won't load at all for me. I use chrome on my chromebook. I just get the notification asking me if want to kill the page because it's unresponsive.

Is there something I can do on my end to remedy this?

It's saddening because I really like the the moo cow and Haes thread.

No. 26166

>>26139
Happens to me too on my galaxy note, I think it's to do with the tablet's processing capabilities.

Too much stuff to load.

No. 26218

File: 1416861629672.jpg (46.41 KB, 301x450, admin.jpg)

Admin, how do you pay for this site? Maybe you should put up some ads, iono.

No. 26222

>>26218
I would rather they put up a donate button than adds.

No. 26225

>>26222

Yes yes yes, please no ads, I'd rather donate.



Love you senpai-sama desu

No. 26293

File: 1416874032147.png (146.97 KB, 540x960, Screenshot_2014-11-24-19-02-23…)

>>26057
Yeah my phone's just shit haha.
I forgot to teat lolcow at school. Will do on the morrow. And thank you again for the back to top button, genuinely.

No. 26295

>>26293
Test lmao

No. 26364

>>26139
>>26166
I should have a slightly better solution for this soon (sorry, I've been kind of busy lately), but for now everyone can use https://lite.lolcow.farm to access a "lite" version of the site. Everything is the same, except there is almost no Javascript.

Note that without Javascript, a lot of features will be missing. But it should resolve some of the problems with slower/older devices having issues rendering pages. Please tell me if it doesn't.

For now, when you use lite.lolcow.farm every page and thread you visit will be in lite mode. If you want to switch back, you'll have to manually type "https://lolcow.farm" in the URL bar again, or you could use a bookmark.

There may be some bugs with this, so please report them if you see any.

>>26218
>>26222
>>26225
I would never consider putting up ads, don't worry.

>Admin, how do you pay for this site?

I'm paying for it myself. The site doesn't cost very much to run at the moment, so there is no need for donations either.

No. 26367

File: 1416891304226.jpg (63.18 KB, 500x500, cute-Rilakkuma-3D-Stickers-hea…)

>>26364
Admin, it has been said quite a bit in this thread, you're awesome. Be as busy as you want, you're doing your best to improve the site and providing it for free. Honestly, 10/10 Admin material, keep it up Sempai ~

No. 26726

File: 1417005502117.jpg (206.28 KB, 500x497, admin sama hacking the mainfra…)

>>26364
We are so lucky to finally have a computer savvy admin.

Also, no stress about being busy, you've already done so much for the site you can safely retire.

No. 28357

File: 1417811617989.gif (1 MB, 1018x424, 1417808105208.gif)

New blood for the blood gods.

No. 28389

>>28357
This world needs more OC banners.

No. 28402

>>28357
has to be 300x100 anon

No. 28409

>>28402


So fucking resize it then my goodness.

No. 28412

>>28409
i would but i don't even know how to use ms paint unfortunately :c

No. 28423

File: 1417839319813.gif (128.37 KB, 300x100, oc.gif)

uhh i tried

No. 28428

>>28423

my sides have reached terminal velocity

No. 28431

>>28423
This looks worse, you didn't blend of properly like the original.

No. 28434

>>28431
Instead of bitching about it, why don't you try to fix it.

No. 28436

>>28434

It doesn't need to be redone it only needs to be cropped which Admin-san can do when they get online retard.

No. 28437

>>28423

Ew no don't wreck my creation kthnx

No. 28439

>>28436
Nigger I never said redo I said fix it.

No. 28440

>>28437
i didn't remake it though all i did was rescale it for admin ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ im just tryna be helpful calm down

No. 28507

>>28357
>>28409
>>28436
>>28437

Is this all the same poster or do a lot of anons just happen to have a stick up their arse today?

No. 28510

>>28507
Lots of tism in this thread.

No. 28552

I've added a [ Lite ] link in the top left to switch to Lite mode from any page. I also added the up and down arrows to Lite mode. You can exit Lite mode by tapping the bar at the top and bottom of each page.

If you use a phone, I'd recommend using Lite mode to read most threads.

>>28423
Added this. If someone plans to scale or resize it differently I can replace it at any time.

No. 28669

File: 1417983911218.gif (1.5 MB, 250x475, workingout.gif)

>>28552

Thank you admin-sama. I wish you'd tell us what your gender is so I can spam you with the correct gifs. I'm going to assume you're a guy so have this mesmerizing gif.

Thank you sososooso much

No. 28675

File: 1417984600443.gif (992.56 KB, 500x375, best of all time.gif)

>>28669

M-MAYBE SHE'S A GAY WOMAN

EVER CONSIDERED THAT

STOP MARGINALISING MY PEOPLE YOU FASCIST PIG

Anyway Admin-san just in case you're a dyke have this too :>

No. 28676

File: 1417984685744.jpeg (14.21 KB, 236x354, 448c818df0686ef268132720332bda…)

>>28669
Maybe admin chan is a chocolate pipeline surfer

No. 28677

>>28669
>>28675
>>28676
What if admin-sama only likes 2d?

No. 28681

File: 1417984939966.jpg (764.29 KB, 1466x1100, 312228.jpg)

>>28677

I got that department covered.

No. 28685

>>28681
not animu or moe enough anon, too close to realistic 3DPD

No. 28688

>>28681
This and the butts are pretty neat. Someone should make a smexy thread on /b/

No. 28689

File: 1417985674745.png (241.46 KB, 660x505, bluesteel.png)

Maybe admin-sama is ~gender-fluid~.

Either way, we won't judge you admin-sama. You like men, I'll find you some fine ass bubble butt man ass.

You like girls, I'll get you girls. Black, Hispanic, white Asian? Tentacles? You want eels coming out of a girls ass?

You like ass or titties moar? Curvy (CURVY, not a fucking curve admin-sama I don't want to even think of the very idea of you having a fatty fetish), stick thin, athletic?

You like feet admin-sama?

No. 28690

>>28676

Would let this dude bang me raw 1000/10.

No. 28694

>>28689
Gurl u creepi.

No. 28710

File: 1417992276622.jpg (40.34 KB, 342x298, i dont really know what type o…)

>admin's face when their userbase's admiration takes a turn for some sort of sexual frenzy

No. 28723

>>28710

I just want to make senpai happy

No. 28725

>>28710
It's the lack of contact with our Queen, I'm sure. We need someone to creepily obsess over.

No. 28736

>>28725
Should I start making an admin-senpai altar?

No. 28739

>>28736

That would be nice, but first we need the admins fetishes. Doesn't even need to tell us gender, we will just spam admin with whatever they want as thanks ♥

I bet admin is a lesbian that likes big ol tittays.

No. 28787

Even at lolcow a technically adept admin has to be a guy or a dyke.

Not saying I'm disagreeing.

>Internalised misogyny.

No. 28804

>>28787

I only suggested she might be a dyke because I am one too.

Pretty sure Admin is a she though.

No. 28818

>>28787
>implying lesbians aren't women

No. 28880

>>28818
Do you even chrischan

No. 28899

I'm a *-gender semi-demi-romantic bovinekin. Please respect my preferences.

No. 28956

>>28899
…ilu more than words can say, admin. I needed this laugh so bad! XD <3

No. 28997

>>28899
What are your pronouns?

No. 29021

File: 1418152123816.jpg (239.72 KB, 1590x800, diamonddogs.jpg)

I only know of one star gendered person.

No. 29054

>>29021
>tfw david bowie is admin of lolcow.farm

No. 29584

Sorry admin-sama, that's me. I don't have a password to delete and I hit reply too quickly. I just wanted to say thank you again for being a great admin and doing your best. Have a good holiday season, whatever holiday you celebrate.

No. 29605

>>28997
Mū/mūr/myr. My triggers include curdling and prods.

>>29584
Thank you anon!

No. 29658

That cute cow on the bottom of the page is adorbs

No. 29745

>>29658
I never noticed the cow before…

Are you a fan of Harvest Moon, admin-senpai?

No. 29748

File: 1418514022599.jpg (1.21 MB, 2329x1456, GoT beer labels.jpg)

>>28899

Soo uhhh… tits or dicks?

Would you rather be spammed with cute animals?
Cats or dogs? (bunnies?)


Y u so complicated admin?

No. 29754

File: 1418515852669.jpg (41.39 KB, 474x410, k5uo1jQjO1qd7ovlo1_500.jpg)

>>28899
>>29748

How about being spammed with cows?

No. 29756

>>29748
How about we don't spam poor admin

No. 30026

So are we actually called "Farmers?" I'm not sure what to think of that.

It's half way funny, half way lame.

No. 30031

File: 1418624648193.jpeg (32.33 KB, 225x298, F1_Farm_2111.jpeg)

>>30026
How is it lame? Farming is one of the most hardcore jobs ever

No. 30033

>>30026

Not really.
Some fucking tardo from PULL (see, all of them) started calling us that a while back as some sort of insult and it was so funny we started using ironically.

I think it was Moemo, or Lovely-Stars.

No. 30042

>>30033

Possibly http://bouncymousy.tumblr.com/, the source for that lovely banner? Could've been Lovely_Stars instead.

I guess we're just "farmers" because "unmoderated scumbags" is too long.

No. 30062

>>30033
No, the name was decided on in one of the earliest threads here but I don't know which one anymore

No. 30063

>>30062
Oops, it actually was this one, it started with >>357

No. 30505

What does the "Lite" option at the top of the page actually do?

No. 30525

Top kek at the new banner, it's my new fav banner

No. 30526

>>30505
Removes script from lolcow, so you can't reply etc. only view it

It makes it super fast though, so if you're on a slow tablet or phone it's really useful

No. 30559

>>30526
You can reply, just there's no quick reply so you have to go to the top. Some useful features are missing but it's basically just like browsing old school 4chan.

No. 32002

hiya admin-sama, are you still looking for moderators/farmhands?

No. 33815

>>32002
Not at the moment, but I might in the future. Please report any post in this thread and include your email address. Thanks.

No. 34997

File: 1419888626689.jpg (28 KB, 300x100, quirckplanet.jpg)

Dear admin-sama,
I have an offering to the Lolcow deities.

No. 35002

>>34997
it's the healthiest option.

No. 35030

Lolcow, have it your way.

No. 35067

>>34997
Holy fuck I love you

No. 36666

Hey, admin? I'm having a problem and my posts keep getting eaten. I posted a lengthy reply in the lime crime thread and it got cut off before my link got inserted. What's going on?

No. 36713

>>36666
nice quads

did you try waiting 30 seconds or so and then refreshing the page? Your post should be fine

happened to me too, then it posted correctly anyway once i did that

No. 36715

kek I love the CWC banner

No. 36731

>>36666
>>36713
Sorry about that. I found the problem. It shouldn't happen again, please tell me if it does.

No. 37260

File: 1420427123188.png (31.18 KB, 444x183, Screen Shot 2015-01-05 at 12.0…)

I got this error while trying to post?

No. 37270

>>37260
I'm getting this every time, but it does post.

No. 37294


No. 37947

Brought this up in another thread but maybe we should have a youtube personality board for lulzworthy beauty gurus, etc.? They don't quite fit the bill for lolcow, but are still amusing and shitty. We could call it /yt/ or something.

No. 37965

>>37947
Unless a large portion of users desire this, I'd prefer to avoid splintering boards unless there's a very good reason. I think having a small board count lends a lot of advantages.

Also, who exactly gets to make the determination of which category an individual falls in? One "beauty guru" may be considered a lolcow (/pt/-worthy) by some people while not one (/yt/-worthy) by others.

No. 38116

>>37947
>>37965
I don't think a whole new board is needed for youtube personalities, I think a thread should suffice. Perhaps one for beauty gurus and another for other youtubers if necessary? I know I personally like coming to /pt/ and having all the threads I'm interested in reading in once place.

No. 38246


No. 38358

>>38116
I agree. No need to make it more complicated than it has to be.

No. 39061

Admin, the missing thread bug still exists and seems to be cache related.

I.e. a thread will be pushed off page 1 but not appear on page 2. If you look in the catalog you can see that the missing thread is between the last thread on page 1 and the first thread on page 2.

>There are only two hard things in Computer Science: cache invalidation and naming things.

No. 39068

>>39061
I did a few basic tests and I could not reproduce. I'm going to assume it only happens rarely. That would explain the intermittent reports of missing threads though.

I'll keep looking into it. It's possible that overly aggressive caching on the browser side may be to blame. It may also be Cloudflare. If you see it happen again, please try to refresh a few times and also clear your browser cache to check if the page changes.

No. 39077

>>39068

There were a couple of threads bumped today that then had the replies deleted. Maybe that's related?

No. 39534

I was able to reproduce it. Still working on fixing it.

>>39077
I didn't consider that so thanks, but turns out that's not the cause.

No. 40700

Do we have tripcodes here? Will that be a thing in the future?
How big is our userbase? Has there been a lot of traffic from halfchan and 8chan?

And finally.. can we have a "catalog" button at the top of the page as well?
thank you admin sama <3

No. 40707

>>40700
>tripcodes

don't you dare

No. 40712

>>40707
Not saying I advocate their use, I'm just curious.

No. 41147

>>40712
I've seen few people using tripcodes (like Lain) so I am pretty sure they exist already.

No. 44154

linkonym.com doesn't redirect to linked sites anymore. i think the new url is linkonym.appspot.com.

No. 44158

>>44154
Thanks, fixed.

No. 44239

>>44158
Thank you, Admin-sama.

No. 44919

Can we get the option to add more than one file when posting? puritti purizu~♥

No. 44995

>>44919
I plan to add this, but it probably won't be in for a while, sorry.

No. 45007

Hey admin, I was wondering if you could give us the option to make the reply window wider [it only gets longer]? It'd be of great help while proof-reading replies before sending them.

No. 45012

>>45007
Done.

>>40700
>And finally.. can we have a "catalog" button at the top of the page as well?
Also added this.

No. 45086

>>45012
Thank you! Another question, do you have any plans of making a /cgl/ board?

No. 45160

>>45086
Please and no fucking Tumblrfags and 14 year olds who think they know shit XDing all over the place..

No. 45294

>>45086
>>45160
I have no plans to at this time, though I'd consider it if there was a lot of demand. >>>/b/ can be used for /cgl/ discussion, and is already being used in that way. Otherwise, 8chan boards are probably a good alternative.

No. 45308

>>45294
Thank you for acknowledging us, Admin-sama!

No. 45462

I don't know if its just because I have a shoddy internet connection ATM or what, but sometimes when I make a post, I'll get 'error: flood detected, post discarded', but my post will be posted multiple (two or three) times. Its only really started happening in the past few days

No. 45463

I don't know if its just because I have a shoddy internet connection ATM or what, but sometimes when I make a post, I'll get 'error: flood detected, post discarded', but my post will be posted multiple (two or three) times. Its only really started happening in the past few days. It doesn't always post my post though, just sometimes it'll post it more than once

No. 45467


No. 45580

>>45463
This is due to a combination of using a phone and having a spotty connection.

I'm going to adjust some settings so the duplicate posts are less likely to be submitted. You may still see the error message though. If you do, you should copy your post, close the tab, wait a minute or 2, check the thread again to see if your post went through, and if not try resubmitting again.

No. 45721

>>45580
Thanks for your help. I should have a decent connection in a week, so I'll try to refrain from posting too much, and sorry for the inconvenience

No. 47784

So, I've noticed on some threads on mobile, that there is no arrow pointing down (unless you're at the complete bottom of the page) same thing for up.
I don't really mind it, but when you have to scroll down a long 1k thread, it's annoying.

No. 47934

>>47784
Does this happen for all threads? The likely cause is that the entire thread is taking a while to load. The arrows won't appear until all content is 100% loaded by your phone. The majority of this loading time is consumed by all the Javascript that runs. If you use lite mode, nearly all Javascript is gone except for the arrows, so I'd recommend trying that.

It seems odd that the arrows would only appear once you reach the bottom of the thread though. Can you try visiting multiple threads, large and small, and see if it's just a delay in the arrows appearing, or if they really only appear when you're at the bottom? Also check to see if the same thing happens in lite mode.

No. 48079

Anon who uses mobile practically exclusively here, I have not run into that problem as of yet.

No. 48144

>>47934
I encounter this problem quite a bit on my phone. One thread will have arrows, the next won't.

No. 48200

>>47784
>>47934
>>48079
>>48144

Hey guys, I don't think this is an actual problem.

I thought I was encountering this myself until I realised that the pages are loading zoomed in on my phone so that the arrows are just ever so slightly eclipsed out of few.

Next time you down see it, try pinching the screen and zooming out a tad.

No. 48201

>>48200

eclipsed out of view*

No. 48234

>>48200
>>47934
>>48079
>>48144
First anon with the problem.
Replying to admin first, I don't get this with all threads. I got it with the Micky thread and the Kiki threads. Shorter threads don't get that problem. And I don't get this problem here either. I also tried making the page load longer, but the problem still remains.

As for the "solution", sadly that isn't the case. I just see ONE arrow at a time. At it would be top if I were top of the page, and bottom if I were at the bottom at the page.

No. 48577

The problem is due to certain threads stretching the page width.

It may take some time to properly fix that across all devices. In the meantime, I was able to see both arrows again in those threads first by zooming out horizontally, then vertically. Try zooming out in all directions and see if that fixes the issue.

No. 49822

Does the zoom out solution work for everyone at the moment?

I also fixed an old unrelated bug where clicking a post mention link (links such as >>2 >>3 >>4 quoting your post and appearing to the right of your post number) sometimes did not scroll all the way down to the actual post.

No. 50039

test

No. 50044

File: 1424006815411.jpg (52.35 KB, 397x187, error.jpg)

Getting this error when I try to post a reply on any thread. It seems to still post my reply, just wondering what it means?

No. 50046

>>50044
Same here! It posts anyway, so that's good

No. 50062

>>50044
I think it has something to do with the new posts feed because since that error started, new posts don't show there anymore.

No. 50067

>>50044
Same couldn't post at all last night.

Doing it now aswell.

No. 50143

Sorry about that. I believe I've resolved the problem. Please tell me if you see the error again.

No. 50342

>>50143
thank you admin!

No. 51443

File: 1424336699469.jpg (40.57 KB, 300x101, Kakakoti.jpg)


No. 51461

>>51443
brillant.

No. 52653

>>51443
Amazing.

No. 53402

Admin-sama, Can you go to Dakota's sister's thread and help. Some anon is shitting up the place.

No. 53934

>>53402
Please see >>53935

I am looking to bring on 1-2 more janitors. If you are interested, please report any post in this thread and include your email address in the report message.

No. 53936

We don't have a board/website-tan yet do we? Should we make one?

No. 54066

>>53936
I'm really liking the sound of this idea. It would be a fun little event at any rate.

No. 54150

Admin-san I know this stuff isn't against the rules but do we have to entertain paedos?

>>2650

No. 54151

>>54150

it's not linking for some reason but somebody started a "little girls" thread on /b/.

No. 54162

>>54150
Dealt with it. I'll also adjust the rules to make it clear "borderline" pedo stuff is not welcome.

No. 54167

>>54162

ty ty.

No. 54259

Did somebody link lolcow to /pol/ or something?

What's the influx of misogynistic/pedo/jew threads all of a sudden?

No. 54262

>>54259
Seems more like some /cow/ members got butthurt because we post no "real" lolcows acording to them.

No. 54273

>>54262
Yeah, idk why they don't just stay on /cow/ if they're so very bothered by who/what gets posted here? This has always been more of a gossip/drama board.

No. 54286

>>54162
Can we just have a rule thats no shota/loli at all. I know our /b/ is slow but its seems that theres three threads of it.
The straight shota thread,the loli and the one thats butthurt that you won't allow real cp.

I dont care what people do on their own time, but this is a really nice board.(till lately)
And can you ban the people starting troll/shit threads that have nothing to do with pt.

No. 54314

>>54286
Ugh we have pedo shit now? Nothing worse than whiny pedos.

I'll respect whatever decision admin ultimately takes regarding this, but he should consider being harsh about it, because once you start allowing pedos they all come in droves.

No. 54317

>>54162
Thanks admin san

No. 54345

>>54339
I'm getting real tired of your shit.

No. 54346

>>54339
Please leave.
And stop posting your porn on /b/.

No. 54361

>>54286
>>54314
All of the "3D" stuff is strictly banned. I have no intention of allowing pedos.

The 2D shota threads and posts have actually been made by long-time site users and contributors (except for the hilarious trollmaster who posted today and was banned), and chans do have a culture of that sort of stuff.

I personally don't care about it much one way or another. If anyone feels strongly about 2D stuff please share your opinion here, as I am open to banning it.

No. 54365

>>54361
As long as the Shota is not nudity idgaf. Thanks for cleaning this mess up btw x

No. 54377

>>54361
I'm the one for banning loli/shota.
I know its gonna be on most chans, but like theres already sites/chans for that shit.
Don't see much point of it being here.

No. 54408

>>54377
Seconded. Especially when there's people saying shit like this >>53909

get rid of the pedos

No. 54414

>>54377
Agreeing with this as well. Please don't allow it, admin-sama.

No. 54467

>>54414
But this would also mean we wouldn't be allowed to post wannabe lolis anymore.

No. 54478

>>54467
How do you figure?

No. 54554

>>53934
Is there anyway to apply to be a janitor? Just curious because I have a lot of time considering I'm a shut in NEET and wouldn't mind helping. Plus I spend a lot of time here.

No. 54597

>>54554

It says how to apply in the post you linked.

No. 54626

Seconded, thirded, fouthededredded on banning shota and loli from the boards.

I know that expansion sounds like a good idea but really, lolcow was never created with that intent and I don't think we should degrade ourselves to that level just entertain a minority of posters.

It may not be necessarily illegal aside from in some countries, but it's gross and is based off an entirely illegal, vile and disgusting reality.

Saying this as a child abuse victim myself, please don't start pandering to these sickos.
Shota and loli only makes light of people like me and turns our suffering into a complete fucking joke.

No. 54629

>>54066
Should that have its own thread or could we keep the discussion here?

No. 54644

>>54478
Because lolicon itself is already banned and loli is just the term for young looking anime characters, a lot of wannabe idols include stuff featuring them or cosplaying them in photos, like half of the Yukapon posts wouldn't be allowed anymore.

No. 54656

>>54644
Uhh…obviously they meant actual CP should be banned, 3D or 2D. Currently 2D is not banned.

No. 54841

2D images such as shota and loli are now banned.

See https://lolcow.farm/rules.html

>3. Do not post sexually suggestive 2D or 3D images of minors, or any other image that could be construed as serving to appeal to pedophiles, even if the images are not technically illegal in the US. This obviously means no nude images of people under 18, and also includes clothed "child models", and nude or clothed "loli" and "shota".

No. 55033

>>54841
Thank you admin

No. 55034

admin-sama bustin at em

No. 55495

>>54841
;__________________;

No. 55497

File: 1425096592978.png (52.6 KB, 1080x1920, Screenshot_2015-02-27-23-06-45…)

Doesn't happen all the time, but only if I click a link on lolcow.

No. 55498

>>55497
Unfortunately, this is out of my control. linkonym.com is used to hide the referers of links (it's the only service I've found that properly blanks the referer rather than just rewriting it). They go over quota a lot.

Until I can find an equivalent alternative, you basically have to copy the link text itself and visit it directly, or backspace "www.linkonym.com/?" in the URL.

No. 55517

>>55495
Boo fuckin hoo. Go to 8chan for your kiddie porn.

No. 55546

>>55498
I've had this problem for a while but isn't inconvenient to just backspace the rest out.


Admin is there any chance of some form of recommended boad etiquette? I know it at least bothers a few others. There are so many shit posters who go on about themselves and spam caps lock posts.
I hate to be a shrew but there are just too many kids shitting up threads with their eyesore posts about their ~feels~.


Sorry if this not acceptable I just wanted to ask because the threads are deviating a lot more lately.

No. 55548

>>55546
Still this pissed about that Star Trek post ? Lmao grow up. The thread didn't even get derailed.

No. 55569

>>55548
I wasn't referring to that one being derailed. And that doesn't change the fact that it does happen with increasing frequency. There are just a lot of anons who post about themselves too much Or shitposting in general.

No. 55572

>>55569
rite.
you the same anon who got btfo for posting kiddie porn because you also shitted up kiki's thread.

>board etiquette


go back to halfchan

No. 55668

>>55572
>>55548
You're doing exactly what this anon >>55546 was talking about.


Also thanks admin san for banning all cp.

No. 55713

>>55498
Will do thank you admin

No. 56932

Can we please have some sort of filter or at least ban the influx of morons? I don't know what it is but for the past two months not only have people been shitting up the /b/ folder but we're getting teenybopper bitches from god knows where derailing threads with irrelevant comments about their lives. Can't it be a rule to post stupid shit like, "Amg wai u gaiz talkin bout dis doh?!?!" Its a website for gossiping. They stick around and just bitch and moan in the threads about the site's intended purpose. Did 4chan move over here or some shit?

No. 56936

>>56932
The poster you're referring to has actually been posting here for many months. To my knowledge there has been no recent influx or invasion from 4chan or Tumblr, with the exception of a few trolls. There are just various different kinds of people who use sites like these.

Also, some people intentionally post in that "tumblr tween" style yet are generally intelligent otherwise. I think it's a cultural thing.

As for enforcing post quality standards, at this time I have no plans to, but I do have a few possible distant-future ideas on implementing such a thing in a way that is not too authoritarian.

No. 57489

I'm probabyly a million years late to notice this, but WE CAN CHANGE THE BOARD THEME NOW

The roach theme is my fav! Thank you admin!!!!

No. 57536

>>57489
All those themes have actually been there since day 1. :)

If anyone's interested in designing a custom theme, all you have to do is edit one of the stylesheets like https://lolcow.farm/stylesheets/wasabi.css. You can just change the colors, or make whatever changes you want. Email it to me and if it's any good, I'll add it as an option for everyone.

No. 59941

Things that might need improvement:

>Firefox keeps asking to save a password when replying

>Can't close webms
>Link redirects are often broken
>Embedded Youtube width/height is wrong causing black bars

Remembering the scroll position in a thread so you can come back to it later would be a nice feature. 4chan his this already. A red line like in 4chanX mite b cool too.

No. 60184

>>59941
>Firefox keeps asking to save a password when replying
Chrome will often do this too. Usually it's based on the post password, which is set by default. I'd prefer to leave this on. Normally that field is autocompleted with a cookie, however if your lolcow.farm cookie is cleared for any reason, you won't be able to delete any posts you've made because the password would change. Browsers saving the password will ensure it remains the same even if the password cookie is gone. So, I expect some people might use that feature.

>Can't close webms

There should be a little minus sign at the top left of webms. That closes them.

>Link redirects are often broken

Still in the process of finding a proper alternative link anonymizer to use instead. I know this is a very annoying bug.

>Embedded Youtube width/height is wrong causing black bars

I don't really care enough to fix this, to be honest. The videos have the same dimensions as images, so that's how they appear. Making them larger would make them jut out in comparison to regular post images. I sort of assumed most people just played the videos in full screen anyway, and/or clicked on them to view it on Youtube directly.

>Remembering the scroll position in a thread so you can come back to it later would be a nice feature. 4chan his this already. A red line like in 4chanX mite b cool too.

I have plans to add both of these features.

No. 60626

The site is currently experiencing some networking issues and potentially may not be accessible in the near future. I'll update once the problem is resolved.

No. 60722

Problems are now resolved.

I also fixed the link anonymizer issue. Links should always work now.

No. 60909

File: 1426154964503.png (23.09 KB, 246x396, 1414016421757.png)

>>60722
Hideref is way better, it's never 'over capacity' so that's cool. Thanx admin

No. 61241

Is there any reason why sometimes links aren't clickable?

At least on Skype when I want to share those webms of PT they aren't hyperlinked and my friend will have to copy+paste into a new tab.

No. 61243

>>61241
Yes, this is due to Skype not recognizing .farm as a valid top-level domain for websites.

You can replace the ".farm" with ".org" in any link and it'll redirect automatically. I actually bought the .org specifically for linking stuff (mostly due to Skype's annoyance).

No. 63115

Can you purge non lolcows?
There seem to be a lot of them popping up within the last month.

No. 63125

>>63115
Aw, the whiny cunt is mad about their precious makeup guru. ^_^

How cute.

You a part of teh swamp familie XDDDDD

No. 63130

>>63115
The only thing that should be purged are anons like you who feel the need to go around dictating what people can and cannot post. Just because you happen to like someone doesn't mean that they're off limits. I think Felice Fawn is pretty, but I don't bitch and moan over posts about her. You sound new or like some stupid bitch from PULL who doesn't realize that this place isn't PULL.

No. 63135

>>63115
Are you posting on the EYK thread by any chance? hahaha

No. 63138

>>63115
This please. Only because I don't want to see lolcow turn into the next PULL where a bunch of folk from tumblr show up to self-promote.

No. 63142

>>63138
This had nothing to do with self promoting. Two new threads were created today and as soon as they were, the same one anon went around bitching and moaning about how EYK and gravewhore aren't lolcows because wehhhhhhh i liek themmmmm!1!1!1!! Those were the basis for each of those posts, in both threads, if anyone bothers to even look.

No. 63149

>>63138
This place WILL turn into PULL if retards don't stop acting as if their special criteria is what makes threads allowed here. They aren't the admin or the mods, they have no say in what gets posted. When people begin to try and act like there's some sort of etiquette and criteria for something like being a cunt and shittalking that's when the site will become minipull.

No. 63154

>>63149
hahaha they just went and bumped a bunch of threads as if we can't tell. the posts are close together with no effort whatsoever put into them.
how fucking desperate like really lol

No. 63162

>>63135
That's the problem. Anons like that can't even argue why someone isn't deserving of being here other than the fact that they like them and that should be reason enough. The EYK thread got so much hate despite people in the ahri thread asking for it all because one anon flipped their shit over their precious koreaboo bloggers being badmouthed.

It's happening again in the grav3yardgirl thread with the only reasoning being, "Wah wah d-don't talk bad bout what I like!"

These fucking autists.

No. 63201

>>63149
This. If they want coddling, they can go back to PULL or tumblr.

No. 63397

>>63154
I was the one asking for the purge or at last put them in /b/.

I dont care for EYK. Wasn't even in the thread.

No. 63398

>>63130
>>63125
I never once said I liked anyone.
I'm here for "real" lolcows.
Not some pathetic flavour of the month attention whore.

>>63135
Nope. Don't even know who they are.

No. 63818

Hi, sorry if it's my mistake but
why I can't find Kirsten Amanda Brown's thread in lolcow.farm/pt/ ?
I can reach to it only directly through it's number
>>36355
but I can't see it in /pt/ even when it's updated

No. 63863

>>63818
Threads auto-sage once they reach 1200 posts. It's recommended to make a new thread when that happens.

I see the thread on page 5 at the moment.

No. 64009

>>63863
Thank you! New thread will be made.
Btw what is auto-sage? (Google translate doesn't recognize that…)

No. 64012

>>64009
Sage is a chan term (and a Japanese word). Auto-sage/bump-lock means the thread will no longer be bumped.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sage

No. 64021

>>64012
>>53420
Aha, now I understand! From English it translates like "automatic wise".
Now it makes more sense, I should notice that :) Thank you

No. 64087

>>64012
Admin, is there any way we can have the function that filters trips and certain posts? I hate seeing all of the newfaggotry..

No. 64092

>>64087
This. Some samefag has been shitting up the joint in the last few hours.

No. 64098

>>64092
It's been happening over in /b/, too. Both here and in /b/, I'm seeing shit that no channers would have ever done.

>lolsorandum posts

>emotes
>not knowing what the fuck sage means
>bumping threads from months ago despite us having new ones for the cow
>trying to shit up every single thread by telling people what isn't and is a lolcow according to their standards and theirs alone

This fucker needs BTFO.

No. 64121

>>64098
The tripfagging is starting.

No. 64148

>>64092
They should be banned at this point, actually. They're purposefully shitting up and derailing threads and they're not going to stop. May as well throw down the hammer.

No. 64153

>>63863
>>64012

Wait, sage is a Japanese term?
So it's not like the herb?
It's pronounced sah-gay?

No. 64154

>>64153

Just adding, I'm not a newfag, started on 4chan in 2006, I just had no idea sage was a Japanese word and Japanese is my major wtf.

No. 64167

>>64153
>>64154
I think it comes from 下げる (sageru) which means to lower.

On Japanese imageboards,with sage, they also use "age". It basically means "bump".

OT aside, if that person gets tons of reports, will they get banned?

No. 64176

>>64154
>>64167
I'm dying because I've been pronouncing it sage like the old wizard for years. Also 4channer since 2007. This feels so odd now.

No. 64201

>>64087
>>64092
>>64121
>>64148
Please report specific posts. I've yet to receive a report about this.

No. 64213

>>63398
there are no criteria to be posted on lolcow other than if youre a retard online and people laugh at you, then you're an lolcow. if you don't approve of what someone else considers amusing, then too fucking bad. the "boring" lolcows will soon drop to the wayside while the jucier ones will stay revelant. just fucking deal with it bro, you aren't obligated to read every thread, just fucking scroll

No. 64245

>>64148
>>64121
what where?

No. 64261

This place has become a real cunt fest. In no way am I saying it should become a tumblr/PULL huge box with trigger warnings, but jesus, there's a huge amount of bitching back and forth. Maybe we should all dance naked in front of a fire pit and sync up our cycles with the moon in celebration of Our Goddess, Pixyteri.

Anyways, thanks for handling things as diplomatically as you can, Admin-sama. I'll stick to posting to my Queen's thread. Hail Pixyteri. Desu.

No. 64263

>>64261
I get what you're saying, but it's part of 'chan culture' (lol that sounds stupid) to be a dick to one another, call one another names etc.

Nobody really means it most of the time, and when they do they look retarded and sound like the marine copypasta anyway.

No. 64268

>>64261
There wouldn't be bitching if people knew to just fucking hide threads and shut the fuck up. It's been the same person over and over whining over what's posted then shitting up threads they're bumping for no real reason. /b/ was always slow and suddenly its picked up to the one samefag running around trying to be everywhere. It's probably some kid thinking that they're conducting a raid.

No. 64276

File: 1426612880428.gif (3.77 MB, 350x195, Becool.gif)

>>64268
I can understand your annoyance anon, but you come off super aggressive.

Be cool, brah.

No. 64279

>>64276
>too aggressive

Where exactly do you think you are, anon? Where do any of you who just rolled in within the last few days think you are? This is a place for being a cunt and gossiping. Yes, people are going to get aggravated when you shit up threads and whine about muh rules when its bitches who clearly never been here before because there's no lolcow criteria.

No. 64282

>>64279
sigh I've been following PT since the /cgl/ days. I was around during the Exodus of Maxfaggotry, found refuge in /cow/ and finally arrived here, at the promised land.

^In all my time across these chans, reactions toward newfags/pull/and tumblr were "must be summer" or "sounds like tumblr in here." So yeah, you sound too aggressive.

No. 64283

>>64282
I'm cool with new people, the tumblerinas and easily offended usually filter themselves out soon enough anyway.

Remember anons, we were all newfags once

No. 64284

>>64282
I also saw out tower of babel (StaminaRose) fall by the hands of two autistics and a shitty admin. It's been a long line of board drama and it's overreactions that really kill a place, not newfags or retarded posts. Newfags eventually figure shit out, especially when you ignore them. If you bitch them out, they'll land up spazzing a board for days.

No. 64310

>>64284
Let them spam and get banned.

No. 64487

>>64310
But didn't Admin-sempai say samefagging was fine? To avoid the dictators of Maxfag and Rose, we sorta have lax rules on shitposting.

Dunno, Admin-sempai - what's your take on the current shitposting rules?

No. 64502

>>64487
https://lolcow.farm/rules.html

As the rules say, samefagging and shitposting are allowed on both boards.

>Consistently off-topic or extremely irritating posts may result in a warning or short ban, and repeat offenders may receive a long or permanent ban from /pt/.

However, significant derailment of threads in /pt/ is not allowed, and I also have a special case for "extremely irritating posts". The criteria for "extremely irritating" is just an arbitrary decision on my part and nothing more.

I prefer to moderate as little as possible. I've spent a fair bit of time on forums and imageboards, and I've found (depending on the site's purpose) it's better to have too little moderation than too much, even if that occasionally results in a heightened amount of lower quality posts.

But if someone is a significant annoyance to the majority of the community, with no supporters, usually a warning and short ban are called for.

No. 64563

>>64502
As a frequent shitposter, I'm glad.

No. 64668

>>64563
Yeah, we wouldn't want Admin-sama gettin all Orange Citrus on us

No. 66483

Can we please ban racist chan and esl chan? I completely understand not wanting to over moderate, but I feel like the shitposting is getting to a ridiculous level.

No. 67447

>>66483
People shouldn't be banned just because they don't agree with your political views.

No. 67454

>>67447
And obviously I completely agree with that.

It only becomes a problem when racial (or sexual or religious) discussion completely derails and dominates a thread originally about a totally different topic. Please feel free to discuss whatever you like in /b/, and please feel free to share your views and opinions in /pt/, even extreme views. But when posting in /pt/, try to keep things on topic and don't go out of your way to start fights over those views. If you'd really like to discuss a certain topic in depth, I'd recommend starting a thread in /b/ and taking the conversation there.

No. 67764

>>66483
Is esl chan someone who speaks shitty english or someone who points out other people's shitty english.

No. 68017

>>67764
they don't just have shitty english, they also type the same way Asha does, so it's a matter of questioning whether they function under the same logic or whether esl chans strange phrasing is due to not knowing english well

No. 68184

File: 1427285851657.jpg (143.03 KB, 693x958, 136637918917.jpg)

>>68017
Not to be picky, but ESL is technically 'english as a second language' which doesn't necessarily mean someone's english is horrible.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_as_a_second_or_foreign_language

I'm ESL and I don't type like a blithering retard. Nor do a lot of the other ESL posters on this board (there's a tonne of us).

ESL chan's english not being perfect is NOT a reason to ban them. It might be annoying to you, to see mistakes etc. but that's not an opinion everyone shares, and like admin said, unless they're shitposting like a champ or breaking the rules, there's no reason to ban them.

No. 68380

>>68184
I honestly don't care if people come on here and don't have the most perfect grasp of the English language. It really doesn't matter to me. They were just shitposting constantly and that's what's annoying.

But admin has said he won't ban anyone for anything so it really doesn't matter.

No. 68496

>>68380
I don't care about esl chan, tbh. It's freaking racist-chan who shifts up and derails every single thread. They even admitted to being the one who ruined the lolikillian(or whatever her name is) thread and they never face any sort of ban because "they contribute." I'm not trying to shit on you admin, I know it's tough to keep up with everyone, but come on. Racist chan is breaking the rules and they should face repercussions too.

No. 68604

First off, please always report posts you think are derailing threads. It seems like most of the reports we get are complete bullshit ones ("this post is mean"), while the actual posts most people have issues with often aren't reported by anyone. I can't check up on all threads at all times.

>>68496
>It's freaking racist-chan who shifts up and derails every single thread. They even admitted to being the one who ruined the lolikillian(or whatever her name is) thread and they never face any sort of ban because "they contribute."
Racist-chan has been (temporarily) banned several times, and is nearing her last strike. I will permaban someone if I have to, I'd just like to avoid it when I can.

She's not the only "racist" poster though (there are about 3 total), she's just the one who likes to interject into threads the most. As for the Lokillian thread, IMO she wasn't shitting it up at all and was on-topic. She only identified herself because she was accused of being the person she was defending.

No. 69738

I'm not sure if it's just me, but spoiler images are just just blank square til I click them, and when I do click them the image is very transparent and I can't see the picture.

I'm on mobile if that helps.

No. 70044

>>69738
I'm unable to reproduce this.

Are you using the default board theme? Also, has anyone else encountered similar problems?

No. 70143

>>69738
Actually I'm having this problem too. Desktop on Chrome. Using default board theme.

No. 70151

>>70143
Could you take some screenshots, both before and after clicking the image? I'm having trouble reproducing this in any browser.

No. 70177

File: 1427514136410.jpg (143.39 KB, 1360x585, before.jpg)

>>70151
This wasn't with a spoiler image, but here's before.

No. 70178

File: 1427514177799.jpg (114.65 KB, 1341x633, after.jpg)

>>70177
After.

No. 70182

>>70177
>>70178
Looks like you accidentally pressed (hide) above the image, unless this is happening with all images?

No. 70190

>>70182
I don't think so. It appeared a lot in Dakooter threads, Venus Threads, and that Lady At Deviantart

No. 70338

>>70190
>>70182
So, it seems like it can be fixed when I press "show" but the thing is, I never hid the images, you know?
Not a big problem really, just don't get how it does it.

No. 70442

>>70338
That's quite weird. While using Chrome, can you open the developer console by pressing F12 on Windows or Cmd + Alt + i on OS X, click the Console tab, and type the following into the console:

localStorage.hiddenimages

Then press enter and post the output of that here.

No. 70517

File: 1427581088560.png (5.81 KB, 617x382, foru.png)

>>70442
While I can't confirm if it does the same on my computer like the other anon, but here's the output of the directions ya told me

My problem only happened when I was on mobile.

No. 70536

>>70517
Thanks. That means you should have no images hidden at this time.

Unfortunately you would have to run the same command on your phone to effectively troubleshoot, and there's no easy way to do so with Mobile Chrome.

What percentage of overall images are doing that? Is it possible you're accidentally pressing (hide) when you click to expand an image on your phone?

No. 70549

File: 1427585366452.jpg (69.67 KB, 725x466, sadasdasd.jpg)

Admin-chan I'm not happy about a ban one of your farmhands issued to me in a thread.

Some shitposter was derailing the thread Haku thread talking about how basically everybody in the world inhabits aspects of Shinji from Evangelion (I don't even fucking know) and how we're all insecure and I told them to shut the fuck up and received a ban for it.

Normally I wouldn't bitch about something like thus, but I'm concerned because it's haphazard moderation like this and tossing out bans for no real discernible reason that is the reason I left 4chan.

If trying to get shitposters/derailers out of a thread is against the rules can we get some clearer guidelines on this?

No. 70570

>>70549
That is a valid ban. Thread derailment has become a major issue lately. You're paraphrasing the real situation: you both made more than 4 posts about the subject and were arguing, with no clear end in sight. Both of you appeared to be derailing the thread and perpetuating the off-topic discussion, which quickly devolved into bickering and namecalling, so you were both banned for the same length of time (5 hours). The ban also only applied to /pt/ and not /b/.

Bans are very rarely issued here and I really do try to employ the most relaxed moderation policy I can. But many users have reported a reduction in discussion quality due to thread derailments in /pt/.

The rules state in multiple places that excessive off-topic discussion does not belong in /pt/ threads, but I agree the rules are fairly vague regarding what degree of off-topic discussion is acceptable and when it crosses over into pure derailment.

https://lolcow.farm/rules.html

>Keep discussion to lolcows for the most part. Anything that's considerably off-topic may be moved to /b/.

>Consistently off-topic or extremely irritating posts may result in a warning or short ban.
>Off-topic threads or posts may be moved to /b/. Threads and posts will not be deleted simply for being off-topic.


I'd like feedback from the community regarding these 2 points:

1. Were these particular 5 hour bans justified for topic derailment?

Here are the off-topic posts (nearly all of which were made by the 2 banned posters), if anyone would like to take a look:

>>68963
>>69673
>>69798
>>70380
>>70381
>>70389
>>70395
>>70404
>>70408
>>70416
>>70420
>>70426

2. Should we establish a rigorously defined policy for thread derailing and the appropriate moderative action to take, and if so, what should that policy look like? Draft copies of example guidelines would be appreciated.

No. 70582

>>70536
I don't, I would just scroll down with my right hand, totally unzoomed and it'll appear like that, I'll get screenshots when my phone is charged. It's not a high amount of images, but a good percentage of them were on spoiler images (especially in Lady Alt and Fat fuck who's name I forgot thread)

No. 70588

>>70569
>>70570

Would it not make sense to ban the person that started it and perpetuated it as opposed to the person trying to prevent it though?

I am super salts >:l

No. 70593

>>70549
>>70588
You were shitposting, too, honestly. The whole thing would have ended had you never perpetuated it, especially considering the Eva post was like a day old but you still felt the need to respond with b8.
I'm the second person who got banned btw. I don't really mind it because I was posting OT shit to begin with, it's fair.

No. 70594

>>70582
I'll keep looking into it. I'm not really sure what might be causing this.

>>70588
You could've ignored them, or told them to stop posting and go elsewhere, but instead you were directly fueling the fire.

No. 70596

>>70570

I also want to query, if you did get another off topic poster who seemed intent on derailing a thread like the Shinji poster and multiple people began trying to get them to stop, say 5,6+ people, maybe even the entire thread, would you proceed to ban everybody that contributed to that or just the shitposter?

I'd also like to add in the posts you linked you said nearly all of which were made by the 2 banned posters but mine are actually just under half of them so there's obviously a 3rd/4th party in there.

>>70593

Oh rite nvm.

No. 70600

>>70593

I did not respond to day old bait, my first post into the Eva "discussion" was >>70380, made one hour after the post before that. I'm not the person arguing prior to that so idk why I got banned.

No. 70601

>>70596
At that point everybody in the thread would be derailing shit just to tell one shitposter to fuck off, which would be pretty retarded and would warrant a short ban.

No. 70605

>>70601

>which would be pretty retarded and would warrant a short ban


That worries me actually because it was reasons like that, the janitors/mods on 4chan just banning out of the blue without warning, that caused me to leave in the first place.

Like something I've already treasured about this place, even though it's fairly young, is that the moderations has always been fairly lax and the community pretty much allowed to moderate and control itself which is what I was trying to do when that faggot wouldn't shut up about Eva.

I'm not happy about being chastised for something I didn't even start.

No. 70614

>>70605
You didn't start it, but you did continue it.

No. 70617

>>70614

I did continue it but then I'm curious why only I and Shinji fag were banned when there was a 3rd or 4th party involved.

No. 70618

>>70596
>say 5,6+ people, maybe even the entire thread, would you proceed to ban everybody that contributed to that or just the shitposter?

It really depends on what they were saying. If it was "FUCK OFF STOP POSTING", and not repeats of the same post over and over, I wouldn't blame them and wouldn't care. If it's "NO YOU'RE COMPLETELY WRONG ABOUT SHINJI AND BLAH BLAH BLAH HERE'S WHY YOU MASSIVE FAGGOT", I probably would be inclined to ban all of them. Irrelevant but I am a little bit of a Shinji sympathizer myself.

>>70600
It was the arguing after that post which was really the issue. I know you didn't start it, but you went overboard when responding to them.

I was alerted to the posts by a report, and saw multiple posters in the thread didn't seem pleased with all the derailment, which is another reason why I thought it should stop.

But again, I'd like to see input from more posters regarding this issue. This site isn't exactly a democracy but I only want to do what the users want, so I am more than willing to change my policies and views. If some people think the 5 hour bans were excessive in this scenario then I am certainly willing to adjust moderation policy going forward.

>>70617
The third poster made only one post in that chain (one of the first few posts), and did not post anything further. One off-topic post is different from engaging in a long, drawn out off-topic argument.

No. 70621

>>70618

I think the ban was fine. Five hours is nothing and they were indeed shitposting. The second party is okay with it. There only seems to be one person who's whining about it and it's the other one who got put in time-out.

No. 70623

>>70618

I don't think they're excessive I just would have preferred a warning first.

At the end of the day I'm just super autistic about this kind of stuff and I'm worried about this place going the way of 4chan, Maxfag and Staminarose.

>>70621

Hell yeah I'm salty, m-muh injustice.

No. 70625

>>70623
I understand. Historically we have almost always given a warning first with no ban for off-topic discussion, but I've noticed warnings by themselves not being very effective and have also seen an uptick in complaints about derailment recently.

In the future, I will probably go back to erring towards always giving a warning first if the poster mostly has a clean record.

No. 70626

File: 1427589592455.jpg (55.16 KB, 500x397, tumblr_inline_nkuyrnBCe11rfngo…)

>>70625

Th-thanks.

No. 73488

Can we get a cgl section please?

No. 73706

>>73488
This would be nice.

Also how far are you on the remembering scroll position feature? This is still my biggest annoyance about lolcow because I have to re-read a lot of posts just to be sure I scrolled back to where I stopped reading or where the thread stopped the day before. Thanks for your awesome work so far though!!

No. 73725

>>73488
See >>45294

/b/ has done a pretty good job of being a surrogate /cgl/, I think. I don't really like splitting boards up too much because the board population is not anywhere near the size of 8chan or 4chan, though it certainly is an active community.

8chan /cgl/ and related boards seem like decent alternatives to 4chan /cgl/ if you're looking for a /cgl/ with more relaxed rules.

I would only make a /cgl/ here if there was a lot of demand for it (25+ people requesting it). If anyone else thinks 8chan /cgl/ is somehow insufficient and if they really think we should open up a /cgl/, please post in this thread.

The 2 options for implementing it would be:

1. Rename to /b/ to /bgl/ or something, and make it /cgl/-focused. "Beagles" sounds nice I guess.

2. Open up a third board, /cgl/, and appoint mods to enforce rules specific to that board to ensure most content is on-topic. I would not want the role of deciding whether or not something is sufficiently "seagully".

>>73706
I have a version of it ready, but it's a bit broken, makes threads load slower, and makes scrolling somewhat laggier. I'm not too happy with it at the moment.

I plan on doing a major code upgrade some time within the next 30 days, and around then a version of this feature should be implemented.

No. 73736

>>73725
pls do not make a third board
everything uncow related should just go to fucking /b/ thank u admin

No. 73926

>>73736
I agree. Just put it in /b/ .

No. 73958

>>73725
We're fine with two boards! B is a good safe space♥ for OT stuff.

No. 74252

>>73725
hmmm than you for making it anon, but I don't think we have enough gulls to keep it going

No. 74440

>>74252
Admin not anon blaaah

No. 74454

>>74440
>blaaaaaaah
G-goatkin-chan?

No. 75323

File: 1428144350444.png (329.3 KB, 500x333, original.png)


No. 75426


No. 75434

>>75323
so cute

No. 75603

Shiiiiit, that new Ashley banner scared the hell out of me.

No. 75837

>>75603
its perfect 11/10

No. 76317

Sorry, posting issues have been resolved.

No. 76394

>>76359
>Quick reply doesn't work on mobile.. I always get sent to the top when clicking posts.

Me too!

No. 76417

So, have you considering trying out a /cgl/ board? One on 8chan is deeeeead.

No. 76465

>>76417
Use /b/

No. 76470

>>76417
So, have you considered reading through the thread? It was brought up five days ago, with reasons as to why there will probably not be a /cgl/.

No. 76767

Some minor improvements have been made to Lite mode.

No. 79320

Fuck. Admin-sempai…this Ashely banner made me pee my pants. Any anons willing to tuck me in tonight? Leave the fucking light on.

Jesus. Help me.

No. 79659

I had a dream that I was banned for shitposting for 23hrs.

Now I'm scared. What if it was a prophecy?

No. 79814

>>79659
If it was a prophecy, I'm next.

No. 79926

>>79659
That dream is too real. I'd be afraid.

No. 81508

Website kinda goes offline for a while. Not sure if it's me.

No. 81531

>>81508
Please tell me if it happens again.

No. 81536

>>81531
Just happened again. I didn't get a glimpse of it properly but it said I was online, and cloudfare was online. I did not get to read the last one, but maybe that's the cause of it.

No. 81552

>>81508
That happened to me earlier today too.

No. 81558

>>81531
Yeah, it's been off and on.

No. 81682

I believe this may have been due to an issue with Cloudflare. Tell me if you see the same message any time today.

No. 82463

>>81682

I saw it just now for a good 10-15 minutes.

No. 82533

File: 1429134955737.jpg (32.27 KB, 948x464, 01.JPG)

>>81682
Have to keep refreshing because I'm getting this. It's been happening for a couple of hours.

No. 82589

Looks like we've had an increase in visitors and bandwidth lately, and the server is having some trouble keeping up. I may have to upgrade the server soon.

No. 82710

>>82589

Out of curiosity what are the stats for this site, i.e. average pageloads, unique visitors per day, amount of data uploaded daily, total views etc.

No. 82720

>>82710
I also asked this before but never got an answer.

Admin, do you need help (like money) to upgrade the servers? I would be able to donate a bit if it helps out the board.

No. 82809

File: 1429164530382.png (41.74 KB, 1345x633, borken.png)

it borked

No. 82820

>>82809
Yeah I got that message a bunch of times within the past few hours too

No. 82944

Sorry about the issues. The site will likely be unstable over the next few days. If you receive a timeout error just press the Retry button.

>>82720
Thanks for the support, but that won't be necessary.

No. 82956

>>82944
You could sell lolcow gear, like t-shirts with dakooter's or berry's face.

I would order 10

No. 83034

>>82956
No.
That's a fucking idiot idea.

No. 83075

File: 1429205630658.jpg (158.38 KB, 500x615, 52842440.jpg)


No. 83080

>>83075
Using an outdated, unfunny meme. Lovely.

No. 83082

No.

No. 83100

>>82956

I don't think merchandising falls within parody law.

No. 83397

ADMIN-CHAN WHY WON'T YOU TELL US SITE STATS

No. 83405

File: 1429230781435.png (103.87 KB, 945x634, stats.png)

Past 30 days. You can also see growth over the past year above the main graph.

No. 83462

>>83405

Holy fuck Admin-chan you should make some revenue off this baby.
I know I'm not the only one that'd be opposed to some small advertisements, and you deserve it.

No. 83475

>>83462
I hate ads and would never subject anyone else to them. The only revenue I would be comfortable with is donations for specific improvements, but even that I really don't need and probably never will unless traffic grows by more than 3x it is now. The server will be upgraded soon.

No. 83536

>>83405
holy fucking shit there are a ton of people on lolcow my god

No. 83588

>>83475
Small ads are no biggie. I leave the ads on when I use 4chan and they don't bother me since they're small banners at the top and bottom of the pages. Think about it. I don't think many lolcow users would honestly be opposed to the idea.

No. 83648

The problem with ads is that I'm pretty sure this site will violate the ToS of any good network. So if for example Adense was added a cow could report lolcow.farm and have the account suspended in a day. Then we'd have to listen to them cheer about how they "hurt the trolls in their wallet" or some shit.

Any ad network that would allow this site would serve horrible ads and we'd all block them anyway.

No. 83692

Dear Admin-sama,
I'm having some trouble with the site that might be cloudflare related but I wanted to report it just in case anyone else was having a similar issue. Sometimes, I will see a brief 'flash' of new posts, but when the page fully loads they all disappear. I feel like I'm at least an hour/half an hour behind all posts on the site.

also I'm using a laptop right now so it shouldn't be a mobile problem. thank you a lot. please let us know if you need any help with the server.

No. 83782

>>83536
ya I'm shocked. I thought it was like 10 people shitposting hard

No. 83816

>>83648

Not if you used ads from places that don't give a fuck about that kind of stuff, like J-list and porn sites, or those little desperate mobile game apps that advertise their trash like "FIRE OF WAR" and "GODDESS WINGS REALM".

That being said Admin-chan is very noble about this. If I were Admin you'd be damn sure I'd be slapping ads on this shit ASAP, but then again I'm poor.

No. 83829

>>83782
I wonder how many of those visitors actually post and how many lurk? But still, goddamn.

No. 84258

>>83829
I wonder what portion of those views are just lolcows themselves, furiously f5ing their own threads?

No. 85082

>>83405
Wow, around 80k unique visitors. Crazy. I always kinda thought there was maybe ~1000. Wonder how many are regulars and how many post.

No. 85287

>>84258
I tend to post a lot in multiple threads, so I'm sure I'm one of the users that refreshes a lot.

No. 85293

>>85287
I think we should have independent posting IDs.

Also, sorry to shit up the thread Admin, but I did have a question. What's going to happen when the catalogue reaches 100 pages? I feel they they will start overtaking the screen eventually.

No. 85358

>>85293
No independent posting IDs. If you want to identify yourself, use a tripcode.

No. 85366

>>85293
The page bar at the top already automatically disappears on smaller screens. However, it'll eventually get too big for everyone. I'll redesign it when that happens.

No. 85702

I feel like there's one anon going around just saying edgy shit and provoking people and setting everything off topic. It's like living in a youtube comment section.

No. 85834

>>85702
point out the exact posts?

No. 86612

File: 1429656677146.gif (81.69 KB, 300x100, corndog.gif)

I made a thing ( '__' )

No. 86616

File: 1429657065370.gif (81.78 KB, 300x100, corndog-fixed.gif)

Silly me, I made a mistake, sorry. Now fixed.

No. 86617

File: 1429657169613.jpg (34.37 KB, 640x480, glorious.jpg)


No. 86620

>>86616
It's perfect

No. 86624

File: 1429657767874.gif (457.87 KB, 500x279, giphy (1).gif)


No. 86635

>>85702
It's Totemokawaii isn't it?

No. 86637

Some changes have been made to the server to increase performance. Please report any issues, oddities, or slowness you notice, no matter how small.

>>86616
Added.

No. 86641

File: 1429659630662.gif (28.76 KB, 300x100, myqueen.gif)

Thanks everyone! And thanks, Admin-sama!

I made another one, no mistake this time! ^^

No. 86666

File: 1429664209016.gif (569 KB, 316x150, h.gif)


No. 86669

File: 1429664411557.gif (207.35 KB, 300x100, pt-dance.gif)

Hope Admin-sama won't get annoyed <3

No. 86673

>>86669
omg I love these new banners, can you do one of her making retard faces with the lemons.

No. 86674

>>86673
Thanks! I was just planning to made a lemon face banner ;P

No. 86675

>>86669

Your banners are fantastic, anon

>>86673

Oh god please yes, seconded

No. 86677

>>86673
>>86669
>>86641
>>86637
>>86616

Fuck, let's make these PULL fuckers know who the real queen is and may they bow their heads in reverence.

No. 86692

File: 1429667257211.gif (86.85 KB, 300x100, lemonface.gif)

Ta-daaa!

No. 86711

>>86692
Beautiful!

But

"When Life Gives you Lemons
Farm for Milk"

???

I tried being witty…:(

No. 86714

>>86692
Love it!!

No. 86719

>>86692
It's perfect!

No. 86723

Thanks guys! Long live the Queen!~<3

>>86711
By this line, I was trying to say "When life gives you lemons, go to lolcow.farm to cheer yourself up by having a good laugh". Advertising is my job, but I probably need to find another one, because I failed at it and had to explain the meaning of this line, lol.
On the other hand, English is not my native language, so maybe I failed just because of language barriers? I dunno

No. 86725

>>86723
Kek, it should have been "When rife gives you remons"

No. 86761

>>86723
nooo it's great.

No. 86872

>>86723
Don't worry, it's awesome, thank you for your work.

No. 86891

>>86723
Ha. We're just offering lame suggestions so we can play too. It's awesome as is!

No. 87046

>>86723
Your banners are amazing anon! We needed more PT banners <3

Putting up an idea if you're not tired by now, maybe the clip of her bouncing on the bed but overlay text that says "lolcow" so she's bouncing on it if that would work?

No. 87195

>>83816

>like "FIRE OF WAR" and "GODDESS WINGS REALM"


I know this is an old-ish post now but I lol'd hard

No. 87196

>>86725

I veto "when rife gives you remons".

No. 87197

>>86725

I just realised I don't know what veto means.

I mean I approve it.

No. 87201

>>87197
You somehow managed to know what the exact opposite of veto meant, at least. :)

No. 87235

>>86692
So happy it's a banner now.

No. 87243

All the new banners have been added. Please keep the banner submissions coming.

No. 87308

File: 1429769573340.gif (772.84 KB, 260x100, KAKApoopoopeepeeshire.gif)


No. 87335

>>87308
i love you anon

No. 87344

>>87308
It could say "Don't laugh, send help" instead" lol

No. 87346

File: 1429779012999.gif (90.16 KB, 300x100, PTmon.gif)

Same banner fag here. Enjoy!

No. 87386

>>87346

Holy shit anon that's so cool

No. 87391

>>87346
You are amazing.

No. 87417

File: 1429794244777.jpg (9.83 KB, 200x200, 774939.jpg)


No. 87430

I'm in love with the new banners, well done everyone!

No. 87441

>>87430
Except 87308, they all were made by the same Anon.
Glad to support my favorite board!

No. 87956

>>87346
best thing i've seen all week

No. 88048

File: 1429903479897.gif (625.65 KB, 300x100, kiki.gif)

new board rule: whenever you see this banner, harty pard for 30 seconds

No. 88055

>>88048
I accept that challenge.

No. 88077

>>88048
bless u anon

No. 88128

>>88055
me too

No. 91988

Am I confused or has the latest Quirky thread been deleted? Anyone know?

No. 91995

>>91988
Nah?
>>74526

No. 92000

>>91995 thanks, I guess my phone was being weird

No. 92117

Hey admin, can we please have a rule for not trashing children who are obviously in very sad/illegal situations? A child being mocked for distributing child pornography and being the victim of statutory rape is not lol worthy. It is sad and disgusting.
Seeing people on here stating that kids in these situations are "getting what they deserve" is down right disturbing.

No. 92122

>>92117
Agreed. I know some lolcows start early, but can we have a "no bashing children under 16" rule or something?

No. 92127

>>92117

Yes, I agree with this proposal.

No. 92129

>>91988
Were you searching page by page or did you use the catalog? I recommend using the catalog to find a specific thread. There's still an intermittent issue where a page may show you content that's slightly out of date. This can sometimes cause a thread to "disappear" if a thread is on the edge between 2 pages.

If you run into this issue and don't want to use the catalog for some reason, you can refresh once or twice (once should usually be good enough, but sometimes twice may be required) on each page to clear the cache.

>>92117
>>92122
Can you link or report some example posts? I plan on adding a rule like this, though I'm not completely sure how I should word it or how strict it should be. I agree that harassment and excessively personal attacks of minors isn't good.

No. 92134

>>92129

I think the first anon is referring to the erica camacho thread.

No. 92145

>>92134
I was also referring to that.

No. 92169

>>92129

I also think that that thread with the guy who raped his child sister poses some of the same problems as the erika camacho thread in terms of its treatment of minors and victims of abuse. New articles don't mention minors who've been sexually assaulted but her picture and name are mentioned in the thread, IIRC. I

No. 92213

>>92169
I think that one is a bit worse than the Erica thread, because that little girl hasn't even done anything. In 5-6 years she's going to be looking to get her first job, and someone will inevitably google her name.

No. 92223

>>92213

I agree. OP was touchy when someone said that the thread was messed up and. OP threw in that he/she was molested as a child, which has nothing to do with this little girl having her history publicized.

No. 92241

>>92213
>>92223
Her name was not listed in the thread.
OP here again. I'm sorry, I didn't realize how butthurt everyone would be about the picture for the thread. It was just the one /cow/ used, so I didn't really think about it. Btw I am a victim of sexual abuse so I can sympathize with the girl, which is why I never said I wouldn't change the picture. But I just kind of think you guys are overreacting a bit. inb4 attacked

Admin, I said in the thread that the picture can be changed, I have no opposition to that. Sorry for offending everyone, sometimes my replies are unnecessarily cunty.

No. 92243

>>92241
>Her name was not listed in the thread.

Disregard this, I suck millions of cocks. I didn't realize someone else had mentions her first name.

Again, people are constantly attacking me for the picture, and I'm really sorry. Obviously I didn't think about it. Please understand I am not fighting to change the OP picture at all and I was busy moving all day so I didn't pay attention to the thread.

Sorry again, everyone.

No. 92271

>>92243
>>92243

It's the way you come off dude take a chill pill or go back to 8ch. This is mostly populated by females this board, so we're not really going to be okay with Child rape. If you'd of just said oh sorry admin please change right away instead of getting in a tizzy mossy people wouldn't care. Your personality is very lolcowish. Also to have enough morals to realise that picture is really not okay in the first place would have been nice too bit w/e

No. 92275

No more arguing or discussion about this please. No one here did anything wrong, and the situation is resolved.

No. 92477

Can we get a search bar, please?

No. 92544

>>92477
do you not know how to ctrl+f

No. 92568

>>92477
Cloudflare's default 404 search isn't too bad. Visit a non-existent page like https://lolcow.farm/search.

Alternatively, type "site:lolcow.farm" before any Google query.

No. 92785

Hello Admin, I have an issue.
Every time I try to visit lolcow.farm from computer where ai have wi-fi, or from mobile while I'm on wi-fi (no matter if I'm using wi-fi from home or any other place), I see "403 forbidden" and I can't open the website. However, once I'm on 3G or E, I can normally browse the site.
Do you maybe know what might be the problem, how to solve it?

No. 92914

>>92785
I believe I've fixed it, can you check again and see if it's still happening?

No. 92978

>>92914
Yes, no problem now!! Thank you wow :)))

No. 93011

That Ashley banner is genuinely terrifying, jesus.

No. 93487

>>93370

Can we get a farmhand to clean this up?

No. 93766

File: 1430792521360.gif (347.64 KB, 300x100, myqueen.gif)

I did something but I dunno if it's much good

No. 93780

>>93766
Hahaha, this portrays the way I feel about my Queen being discussed on here so accurately! Bravo! I love it!

No. 93888


No. 93899

>>93766
It's awesome and startlingly accurate

No. 96509

File: 1431148272671.gif (575.31 KB, 300x100, liftin kawaii.gif)

in light of recent events

No. 96648

I am absolutely in love with these new banners.

No. 96665

>>96509
TOP KEK

No. 97295

All links contained within new posts are now automatically submitted to https://archive.is, an independent web archival service. If you hover over a link, a new link should appear to the right which allows you to view the archived version.

I would recommend posting the direct versions of links from now on, and let the board handle the archiving. This saves you time, and also lets readers easily compare between the page as it looked at the time the post was submitted, and how the page looks now.

This only applies to links made as of a few hours ago, and all future links. Any links posted before then have not been archived and will not display anything when hovered.

No. 97429

>>97295
The lulz has intensified.

No. 97514

>>97295
anon-sama, i love you.

No. 97695

>>97295
This surely is a professional lolcow board

No. 97819

File: 1431280852028.png (10.29 KB, 618x103, ptmotto.png)

Could some crafty anon make this tweet into a banner please? It could be our new motto!

No. 98140

File: 1431302888391.jpg (49.74 KB, 570x260, PixyBanner.jpg)

>>97819

I tried, but is it basic as fuck

No. 98141

>>98140

it is*

No. 98189

>>98140
>>98141

Gimme an hour and I'll whip up something glorious.

I say an hour because I'm in FFXIV.

No. 98217

File: 1431306597952.gif (2.88 MB, 300x100, dsfsf.gif)


No. 98364

>>98217
OH. MY. FUCKING.
SHIT
SHIT

No. 98371

>>98217
This reminds me of the Elisa Lam elevator tapes

No. 98399

>>98371
pls no anon, now i can't unsee

No. 98404

>>98217
Amazing. Added.

No. 98434

>>98404

Okay so I decided I wanted to spice it up by having her kicking away bottles of shampoo and deodorant.

If I post the updated version here later will you add that instead?

(also thnx Admin-chan, I'm a big fan)

No. 98480

>>98434
this is just one anon's opinion, but i think that would be too much. it's perfect the way it is. you should use that idea to make a different banner altogether.

No. 98523

>>98480
I agree completely with this. It would make for another great banner.

No. 99153

>>98217
PERFECTION!

No. 99236

>>98480
>>98523
>>99153

Ooooh okay I'll leave as is :>

No. 100334

The page title will now use the OP's subject line if it's available. I would recommend setting the subject to something descriptive when you make a new thread.

I also fixed a few bugs which no one probably noticed were present.

No. 101420

File: 1431567849751.gif (265.33 KB, 300x100, YAS ADMIN SAMA YASSS.gif)


No. 101513

File: 1431576127535.png (788 B, 168x25, brackets.png)

>>101461
That's just the skin style. It links to the rules, /b/ and /pt/ in a really dark font that you can't see well due to the background.

No. 101633

File: 1431593647157.gif (Spoiler Image,1022.85 KB, 285x200, yanasty.gif)

>>101630
You are retarded. Anon literally just answered your stupid question.

No. 101650

>>101646
>I know there are a lot of girls on this board but seriously

Calm your sweaty moobs. Also it's funny how you think women are stupid but you're obviously an idiot.

No. 101668

remembered scroll position when

No. 101683

File: 1431610708708.png (52.63 KB, 300x100, tkbanner.png)

clearly needs to be a banner

No. 101686

>>101683

Eh, there's not enough referncing in this.
If you didn't know what Hey Arnold was you'd be really confused about why two heads were stuck on top of a cartoon. I was for like, 10 seconds.

No. 101687

>>101683
Yes, make this happen. Long live our cow princess!

No. 101688

>>101686
I think everyone who's read totemokawaii's thread knows what it's all about. I created it as an example, but if anyone wants to make an other one then go ahead.

Either way our cow princess deserves a banner<3

No. 101693

File: 1431611854282.png (6.59 KB, 951x83, njklnvjfblr.png)

>>101683
>>101686
>>101687
>>101688
Totemo cow needs a banner

No. 101725

>>101693
TotemoCowaii

No. 101792

>>101686
eh I think a good number of us know about Hey Arnold. It's just confusing because it's shooped pretty badly and you can barely tell what's in the bg.

No. 101814

>>101687
>>101688
>>101693
>thinking TK is even remotely a cow princess
kek.

I agree with this anon >>101792 in that it's just poorly executed.

No. 102022

>>101668
In the near future. Still working out performance issues.

No. 102032

>>101814
Shaddup Totemo.

No. 102033

>Lies about being other people
>Grabbed a random guy shoving markers up his ass and claimed it was her friend to distract others from her lulz
>bragged about being the forum jerk
>tough guy attitude goes away once posted here
>backpedals hard and says she has behavioral problems
>says she just "gets assmad and does it" after that
>keeps making conflicting posts.
>keeps comparing self with other snowflakes despite no one asking
Explain why she is not a cow princess?

No. 102116

lolcow.farm will be down for maintenance for a short period of time on Friday, May 15. The site may be offline for up to 1 hour, but it should be around 30 minutes.

This will occur at some point within the range of 5:30 PM to 7:30 PM GMT. Timezone conversions:

10:30 AM - 12:30 PM Pacific time
1:30 PM - 3:30 PM Eastern time

Sorry for the inconvenience.

No. 102203

Idk how well this would be recieved, but I was thinking that I would kind of like us to have an /x/ board on lolcow.

I've noticed we've recieved a distinct increase in traffic recently and I am always reading about all these spoopy things online like the Elisa Lam case and thinking "wow I'd like to hear lolcow's verdict on this" , but then it doesn't really belong on /pt/ and nor does it really fit on /b/.

Users of lolcow strike me as being into their top spoop and conspiracies, how would others feel about the addition of an /x/?

No. 102209

>>102203
/b/ is literally anything you want so just make an /x/ thread. jfc we don't need a new board for every single whim.

No. 102256

>>102209

Well for starters it is not practical to have a single thread containing multitudes of spoopy debates as it would become confusing as fuck if somebody decided they wanted to start discussing the Everest corpses again whilst everybody else is discussing Elisa Lam sandwiched between aliens and chemtrails.

Also are you okay. You sound unnecessarily angry at the proposal of a new board.

No. 102289

>>102256
Please look at the other new board requests we've had in this thread. Even the Admin has expressed that they don't really want to make new boards besides /b/ and /pt/. (>>37965)
If someone else wants to talk about the Everest corpses, they too can make a new thread instead of clogging the one about Elisa Lam. Alternatively, you can just make one on 8ch.

No. 102303

>>102289
This. Lolcow is not your new 4chan, please either make a thread in /b/ or go to 8chan. Sorry bro.

No. 102304

>>102256
You can make more than one thread in /b/ you know.

No. 102590

The maintenance downtime was much longer than expected - almost 3 hours - due to reasons completely outside of my control. Sorry for the inconvenience.

No. 102628

Sorry, there was another unexpected 30 minutes of downtime just now due to a problem with the datacenter. That should be the last of it.

No. 102634

>>102628
Thanks, Admin-sama. I have so much vicious bile to spew, and I can't handle it when lolcow goes down.

No. 103448

I've seen two bugs, one small one big.

Small:

It's sometimes hard to get rid of the new posts notification in the title if you leave lolcow open in a window and click back into the window.

Big:

There appears to be a memory leak and high cpu usage on a lot of pages (e.g. the shoplifters thread) which causes them to eventually crash if left open in the background. In the Chrome developer tools turn on "show paint rectangles" and "show fps meter" and you can see that on these pages 99% of the page is flashing green every second which indicates constant reflowing.

It's hard to figure out the exact cause with obfuscated code but it might be the trigger warning blinker. It's presumably due to a setInterval accessing offsetWidth, offsetHeight, or getBoundingClientRect as these all cause reflows.

No. 103469

>>103448
>It's sometimes hard to get rid of the new posts notification in the title if you leave lolcow open in a window and click back into the window.
I've noticed this too and will try to fix it.

>There appears to be a memory leak and high cpu usage on a lot of pages (e.g. the shoplifters thread) which causes them to eventually crash if left open in the background. In the Chrome developer tools turn on "show paint rectangles" and "show fps meter" and you can see that on these pages 99% of the page is flashing green every second which indicates constant reflowing.

I've confirmed the blinking text is what's causing the constant page repainting. I can't confirm it's what's increasing memory and CPU time, but I've replaced the JS (which was effectively toggling display: none on and off infinitely) with pure CSS animations. Tell me if the performance issues are still happening.

>It's hard to figure out the exact cause with obfuscated code

Unobfuscated code is available at https://lolcow.farm/js/

No. 103493

Page title new post indicator issue should now be fixed as well.

No. 103522

>>103469

Most of the memory usage seems to be the ajax poll which I think is just the garbage collector being lazy rather than an actual memory leak. The 1-3% CPU usage is gone though.

Only other big CPU user is GIFs, especially all the banners in this thread. Only solution for that is to hide them when not in view (e.g. opacity 0). I'm surprised that browsers don't optimise this by themselves.

No. 104022

>>103522
The GC doesn't seem to be kicking in at all, even after like 15 minutes, so I think it is a real memory leak. And it is definitely the AJAX poll. Still trying to determine the best way of fixing it.

No. 105888

File: 1432166355688.gif (1.71 MB, 300x100, nokawaii2seehere.gif)

Reguested banner

No. 105891

>>105888
Excellent

No. 105932

>>105888
Added.

No. 106220

>>105888
That was my request!!!! I love you anon!!!

It's so beautiful…

No. 106229

Any chance you'll fix the typing on mobile? it's still laggy as heeeck (on Lite too) so now I've started writing my text in a document and copy/paste to lolcow. It's seriously so dreadful. I can't even see the text I type until I stop typing and wait like 4-5 seconds for the lag to stop.

No. 106251

>>106229
I have never actually noticed this or received a report of this before. Would you mind saying what phone model you have? Mine doesn't have this issue, but it's a pretty recent model.

Also, if you try to post in a thread with under a hundred posts, is it just as laggy as threads with over a thousand posts?

No. 106271

>>106251
I have this too, but I have a SG3 soooOOO idk I always assumed it was my phone.

No. 106290

>>106271
That phone isn't too old, it shouldn't be having issues like that. Can you compare the lag between small and large threads, and also see if lite mode helps at all?

No. 106539

>>106229
I have this problem as well, I thought it was just my slow ass phone. I have a iPhone 4. It tends to have more trouble lagging on threads that are like 900+ posts.
However, I also have an overstuffed memory and most apps do not work well on my phone anyway.

No. 106684

I haven't checked it on my phone yet, but is lolcow lagging like crazy for anyone else right now?

No. 106903

>>106251
You already saw me mentioning it in another thread a while back. I'm on an iPhone 6.. and my internet is quite good.

Any thread is laggy as heck to me. And lite or not doesn't matter, it's the same.

No. 106908

>>106903
Sorry, I vaguely remembered that but couldn't find a mention of it when searching this thread, so I just assumed I misremembered.

>>106684
Has it always seemed slow, or has it only become bad starting this week, or today? When did you start notice it being slow? Is the slowness apparent after you've only had a thread up for a minute or 2, or only slowness initially loading it, or both?

No. 107117

>>106908
It was just last night, I guess the site was just busy.

No. 107138

>>107117
Load did not increase significantly yesterday or last night compared to the rest of the week, so I suspect a server issue.

Was it lag in loading pages and submitting posts (where the page was just loading while showing no content, or stuck at "Posting…"), or were threads loaded yet slow in some other way?

No. 107144

>>107138
The first one. I couldn't get the site to load fully for about an hour before I posted >106539

No. 107187

>>107144
Sorry about that. I have an uptime monitoring utility, and it did not report any downtime yesterday or today.

Did anyone else have trouble accessing the site last night or within the past few days?

No. 107925

>>107187
this is a tad late, admin, but i can't access lolcow on my android phone. i've tried opera, i've tried other browsers, still same message.
it's 'secure connection could not be established'. before that, i'd just get messages about how the name didn't match the website or some shit. i forgot the exact word. that was since you switched to https. a while later, it stopped working entirely!
i hope you can fix it bc i really miss browsing in my bed in the morning!

No. 107958

>>107925
We're using Cloudflare's SSL, which uses only the most modern encryption and authentication algorithms. Some browsers and devices/machines are outdated and do not support these, which will result in those errors.

However, Android phones should all support these algorithms. Usually it's old machines running Windows XP that have this problem.

What Android OS version are you running?

No. 107969


No. 108008

File: 1432428756024.png (24.31 KB, 1440x164, memory.png)

Within a few days, Lite mode will only show still frame thumbnails for GIFs. This should improve performance for threads that have a lot of GIFs. The change is already in, but due to Cloudflare's caching and browser caching, most people won't see the changes for old GIFs until about 5-7 days pass. For newly posted GIFs, the changes should be seen immediately.

>>103522
This is still stumping me. The tests I ran a few days ago did not seem to show memory decreasing, but the heap profile I just ran is showing the GC kicking in quite regularly, with no memory leak at all. I don't know what conditions cause V8's GC to sometimes be lazy and sometimes work properly. This one is over a span of about 20 minutes.

No. 108150

>>108008

When I was looking into the memory usage I monkeypatched the poll to only use an XMLHttpRequest and purposefully deleted all variables (including wiping the response contents on the response). Yet still memory usage was going up even if I forced garbage collection (there's a button in the timeline to force it) so I can only assume it was something internal to Chrome. If you Google "xmlhttprequest memory leak" a lot of people have reported the same in the past.


I've noticed the slow typing as well but I don't know when it started. I don't remember it being there like 3 months ago when I last posted from mobile.

Chrome on Android 5: typing is fine
Safari 8.3 on iPad: typing is fine
Chrome on iPad: typing is very slow

The slowness is definitely amplified by the length of the thread and also happens on the lite version.

Chrome on iOS is still using UIWebView which doesn't have the Nitro engine plus some other weird bugs. So there's either some javascript running every time a letter is typed or perhaps some CSS property performs terribly on older versions of Webkit.

Problem is there's no way to properly profile remotely.


The SSL problem on Android is going to get worse over the coming year. The PCI DSS requirements have been updated to disallow TLS 1.0 after June 2016. So if you're on an old version of Android that doesn't let you install Chrome you will need to buy a new phone to access any site that accepts payments.

No. 108157

>>108150

By "only use an XMLHttpRequest" I mean "bypass jQuery and use an XHR directly".

No. 108480

Everyone who's having issues with slow typing, laggy scrolling, or other performance issues:

Please post in this thread and say what device, model, and operating system you are using.

Here's an example:

Samsung Galaxy S4
Android 4.4

No. 108662

>>107958
Android 2.3.6
Samsung Galaxy Ace S5830

thank you for the quick response, admin-sama and may PT's blessing follow your footsteps everywhere you go.

>>107969
according to this, i should be alright. must be something other than an issue with Android version.

No. 109054

>>108480
Samsung Galaxy S3
Android 4.4.2

Thanks for being so dedicated to solving this problem admin-sama.

No. 109073

File: 1432593471313.jpg (43.53 KB, 1019x453, berrythread.JPG)

what happened to berry's thread?

No. 110498

>>109073
Temporary site issue. Thread should be back now, but the URL/thread ID is different, sorry. It's at >>109372

>>108662
>>109054
No problem. Unfortunately, I can't guarantee that it will be fixed soon. Still working on it.

No. 110516

>>110498
thank you ♥

No. 110581

I've found in posting lately when I click on the post number, it'll show up while I'm typing my reply, but won't show up once I hit send.
I'd have to click on the post number again to make sure I get it to show up in the post. This has been happening for about a week or more.

No. 110608

>>110581
I believe this may be due to a bug in a recent version of Chrome. Try updating to the very latest Chrome version (click "About Google Chrome" and it should start updating) and tell me if you still see the problem.

No. 110626

I made a few Javascript optimizations. Please tell me if you see any improvement in typing speed.

If you don't see an improvement, please specify whether using Lite mode makes any difference in typing speed.

No. 110661

>>110626
Hey admin-sama this S3 on 4.4.2, I wanted to let you know I still have the same issue even in lite but it might be an issue with Android its self. It seems to have issues with large pages and I've had my browser crash a few times on regular sites.

It may not have anything to do with the board issue but I wanted to give you a heads up, just in case.

No. 111964

Hey Admin, I know this might be a stretch but in the past few weeks there has been a quite significant increase in OT threads. Self posting and "i hate this girl wah" type deals. The thread about the bodybuilder was moved to /b/ which was great! Do you think we could establish some sort of rule/voting system to weed out these salty thrads faster? quality over quantity etc.

No. 112156

>>111964
I've moved 3 off-topic threads within the past 24 hours, but I agree it is becoming a problem. One reason why some of the threads have been up so long is to give a fair chance for people in favor of the thread and people against it to argue why it should stay or go. Otherwise, it feels too dictatorial of me to move the thread just based on limited info and my own first impressions. Once it becomes clear that the vast majority of unique posters in the thread think it should be moved, and once there are more than 5 such posters, then I usually find it safe to move it.

I'm open to the idea of voting, but it's pretty difficult to manage fair voting on a site like this. Even if you completely ignore the anonymity aspects and assume 1 vote = 1 person, you would really need more than 30% of active posters to vote on each thread that's up for contention, otherwise the vote is heavily susceptible to bias and skewing.

For now, please continue to report off-topic threads as soon as you see them, so I can keep an eye on them and/or move them.

I also just added a new rule for /pt/.

>If you are posting a new thread about someone who isn't widely known, and there are no previous threads about this person, include an explanation in the OP or immediate follow-up posts as to why you consider them to be a lolcow. You should include links, pictures, videos, screenshots, quotes, or other evidence. Threads that do not obey this may be moved to /b/.

No. 112219

>>112156
Thank you for this, Admin-sama. You are truly the glue that hold this board together. Just wondering, is the new influx of off topic/vendetta posts a correlation to an increase of visits to the board? How many people visit lolcow daily, on average? It's okay if you wouldn't like to answer.

No. 112339

>>112219
There is a correlation, but that correlation doesn't necessarily mean anything without controlling for a lot of other factors.

There are roughly 6,700 unique visitors per day on average.

Another interesting fact: 1.8 TB of data was transferred in the past 30 days.

No. 112838

Hey Admin-sama, I know this would be pretty hard to do, but could you make the Lite mode have some optional 'settings', like some checkbox with options of what scripts it should load and whatnot?

No. 112957

>>112838
I could do this. However, 3 things for you and anyone else reading this thread:

1. Who else would be interested in this feature?
2. Which script features would you like to use and consider the most important?
3. Which features do you consider unimportant and do not care about?

Unfortunately, it's possible that the features you want are also ones that cause significant performance degradation; in that case you may not have any other option but to choose between missing functionality and poor performance, at least until I make further optimizations to the main site.

No. 112975

>>112957
1.Anyone who would like to add some functionalities on lite mode without losing too much performance

2.Mostly the options to turn on/off some stuff on lite mode (ex: I find the "quoted posts" and "hover quote" scripts to be very handy, but I never use the arrows or click-expand on images).

3.Anything too fancy, there's no need to overcomplicate it. Checkboxes would be fine.

I understand if you can't work out something like this, but thanks ahead for all that you've done.

No. 113307

Admnin-sama, there's a bunch of OT shitposting in the new Pixyteri thread about buttholes. Could you clean the thread up for us? We're trying to talk about making drawings, not shitty buttholes.

No. 113314

The auto update and new reply box when you click on a post aren't working for me, did something change or am I just being dumb?

>>113307
chill

No. 113333

>>113314
Both of these features appear to be working fine for me. Note that the quick reply box is disabled on small screens, due to size constraints. If you're using something with a larger screen and have used quick reply with it before, see if you have the same problem with a different browser.

No. 113534

>>113307
Oh, get over it. Don't ask Admin-sama to clean up a thread because you can't handle the shitposting, that's a waste of their time. Just don't contribute to it and it will disappear eventually.

No. 113790

In regards to slow typing on an iPad it seems fixed in MIHTool (free app with Weinre built in) but still slow in Chrome. As far as I know they both use UIWebView.

To find the source of the slow typing it might be worth uploading a bunch of static pages with progressively more javascript and CSS disabled. Which would to an extent tie into >>112838.

For what it's worth cloudflare.min.js binds keydown/up events to the whole document so it might be the source. Also localStorage can be unpredictable on mobile. For example Safari in private mode has localStorage enabled but its size set to 0 so normal feature testing doesn't work.

No. 113822

>>113314
I'm having this problem too, but just on Firefox (38.0.1). It was working fine for me earlier but then it stopped. Seems to work okay on Chrome.

No. 113903

the bar at the top with all the page numbers goes all the way across the screen and covers the options at the top. it's not a huge deal but it would be cool if it maybe just had the first 10 pages then the link to the catalog…most of the most active threads kinda stick to the top few anyway.

No. 114091

What on Earth is Kiki doing in that one banner where she shakes her head while having a Rilakkuma doll?

No. 114147

>>114091
she grabbed her rila and did the kkuma.

No. 114224

>>113903
I agree, that's a good idea. Change has been made.

>>113790
I have good ways of testing that internally, though the problem in my case is that I've never experienced slow typing myself across any of my devices or browsers. I'm working with a few other people to try and narrow it down.

No. 114865

I've created a new board, /meta/, for all site discussions. All discussion and issues related to the site itself should go there from now on.

No. 114867

Moved to >>>/meta/2.



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