File: 1698333401407.jpeg (58.88 KB, 523x711, IMG_1769.jpeg)
No. 1739705
Treat others the way you want to be treated.
previous
>>>/ot/1728920 No. 1739710
File: 1698333600407.jpeg (231.58 KB, 1170x662, IMG_6388.jpeg)
Absolutely horrified that I spent 5 months trying to find a job and then got fired only 2 days after working for seizing. I’m drowning so far in debt to the point where I really think it’s just the end of my line. My chest and my whole body just aches with sadness. My parents try to tell me that I just shouldn’t work anymore but, whatever.
No. 1739769
>>1739725It is not legal, my parents are helping me communicate with a lawyer because I’m just over emotional right now kek
>>1739728They probably are right and you’re definitely right too, I’ve just spent my whole life and my entire career up to now believing that you can’t take days off. I’ve had epilepsy since I was a teenager, I remember working at Starbucks, and I once had a grand mal during my shift there. I’ve probably just pushed myself too far.
>>1739750Thank you so much nonnilla. The kind words do make me feel seen.
No. 1739893
>>1739874You can still dress up
nonnie, do whatever you want!
No. 1739924
>>1739885I'm sorry but no. I'm tired of this shit of so-called fake feminists treating women like children and removing any accountability from them.
Female IDF soldiers don't give a fuck when male idf soldiers sexually assault Palestinians or when the settlers go and kill Palestinians.
And same goes for pro-palestinian women who don't give a fuck about about Israel infants being killed because "they deserved it" .
Humans are just shit.
No. 1739998
File: 1698349474665.jpeg (114.68 KB, 575x469, 3472800_mumu1_jpegf6f017b41c09…)
>>1739705I'm fucking sick of being banned on 4chan for insulting the pedophile Islamic prophet Muhammad Abdullah, 4chan's moderation is almost as bad as reddit's.
No. 1740006
File: 1698349849813.jpg (22.63 KB, 399x320, r26eyx.jpg)
>>1740001Muhammad wasn't ginger, he dyed his hair with Henna like some Muslim men do today.
No. 1740024
>>1740010>>1740015He likely wasn't, but that doesn't matter because it's a real thing within the narrative Islamic texts. Islam is an Arab cultural religion where light-skinned individuals were associated with high status. Therefore, in that backward culture, some important Arabian would be described with epithets for being particularly light-skinned, leading Arabs naturally assume, 'This guy must be super noble.'
Muhammad is also described as having many famous relatives. He is a direct line descendant of Abraham and is related to some famous Arab mythic hero who defeated the Ethiopians.
No. 1740095
File: 1698355123470.jpg (21.13 KB, 622x380, 15353568780.jpg)
it's been decades and I'm still mad about that one teacher from highschool who said "thank god" when he thought I wasn't there during attendance call
No. 1740126
File: 1698357650417.png (207.67 KB, 588x337, Screenshot_27.png)
my mom has such poor…spatial awareness/memory. she eats and drinks her own food gluttonously and wastefully (will pour large cups of milk and not finish them, will make big plates of food and not eat them) then she accuses me of being the one who ate her shit. i get sick of the gaslighting. and god, i hate living here kek. i hate that i can't seem to get ANY job with my cs degree. like literally my ONLY requirement is that it pays a living wage, e.g. one that lets me move the fuck out. i'm soooo tired of her eroding my mental health and making me feel like shit.
like i love her but she's fucking insane. literally unstable mentally. and she never stops talking
No. 1740138
File: 1698358769826.jpeg (16.08 KB, 392x350, _ (3).jpeg)
When my boyfriend says he's too tired to talk on the phone and he's going to bed but then I see he's still online hours later. I am going to commit murder
No. 1740171
>another day if trying to take of my grandmother
>left her with my mom the other day and apparently she shat everywhere,, all over her bed and the floor, so I'm super paranoid
>apparently she needs to go the bathroom now
>help her there
>she wants to go the bathroom in her room
>tell her no, that's not where the toilet is
>she fights me on this
>manage to get her sitting on the toilet, she starts screaming and calling on God to smite me, that her son is going to come and get me, etc.
>starts pulling my hair, pinching me, biting me, trying to attack my vagina???!!?
>thank God she doesn't understand English, because I'm pretty damn pissed
>she finally calms down and begins to cry
>afterwards, I try to apologize but she had no idea what I'm talking about and why she would want to go to the bathroom in her room
>I am now covered in scratches and also feel pretty bad for making an old lady cry.
This sucks, man.
No. 1740184
File: 1698362126866.jpg (968.88 KB, 4080x2663, 665.jpg)
I bought a new fridge and the clerk at the store was nice enough to help me with carrying it to my home, I live across the street from the shop but I didn't have anyone to help me with it. I started getting concerned if the fridge would fit in my door so I said out loud
>I'm not sure if it will fit
To which he said after a few seconds
>It was made to fit in
This response sounded so random to me and I said something like
>Oh, yeah
Was it a weird response from him or am I just being a retarded autist
No. 1740188
>>1740144Honestly, both threads are justified complaints but the cat thread is significantly mors sadistic.
Dog hate thread is “I hate dogs and think they’re gross” and the violence on dogs shown is usually animal vs animal, like a horse fighting back or pitbull attacking another dog
The cat hate thread has some serious sadists. Most of it is justified complaints about outdoor cats, but the cat violence they show and talk about is worse, because it’s all done by humans. Bad stuff has been deleted, but they’ll show humans committing acts of abuse or humans getting animals to kill cats.
It’s one thing for a dog to get hurt by an animal cause animals don’t do it to be cruel, but the cat stuff… I haven’t checked it in a while but I hope it’s better
No. 1740195
File: 1698362692794.png (311.81 KB, 503x344, 1632951386604.png)
>most women my age are married, have at least 1 kid and (seem to have) their shit together
>meanwhile I like to draw and collect cute jpegs of imaginary boys because it makes me happy
I'm wondering if there's something wrong with me because I don't even feel bad.
No. 1740235
File: 1698365747159.jpg (27.29 KB, 616x610, 1685504905789.jpg)
How do people have several relationships throughout their lives? I just got out of my first ever situationship, first time ever being involved with a man, and want to die thinking about how I opened myself up to a man. He's really just gonna live his life now knowing what my tits look like? Knowing my insecurities, turn-ons, fears and worries, dreams? It gives me so much anxiety knowing he's just walking around with all that info. It feels so weird going from being so intimate to barely acquaintances. You just move on like you never even knew them? Sorry for being such an autistic virgin but this is a lot to me.
So I guess you just have to do this over and over and over? Expose yourself like that to several men in the hopes that it might finally work out? It's so vulnerable and it feels like they have power over you knowing so much.
No. 1740319
File: 1698376337084.jpg (Spoiler Image,100.04 KB, 1472x1104, 53BQS3TQUJBVRJW6V6XQMU4CAU.jpg)
Retarded rant incoming.
I hate the way my face looks so much it's insane. Out of all the things that are shitty about my life my brain decided to fixate on my looks to distract me or compensate or something. I don't like that inbred in the mirror and I have some potential with proper diet, exercise, and some minimal plastic surgery. But on camera? I'm a literally demon spawn inbred and hybrid with a goblin. A face so ugly that it makes a man looks beautiful in comparison. And a skinny fat body on top of that all while also being a compressed midget. I am legitimately ready to kill myself over this at one point. And the worst thing about it is it's the accumulation of everything wrong with my life on my face and body because ofcourse it had to signal to the entire the world that I'm an abnormal loser who will never fit it and should just disappear. My face looks strangely projected with an angle on camera it's so fucking gross and cursed to look at, it looks so inhumane and uncanny valley compared to my friends' faces on camera in our group pictures. They all look normal like their irl selves while I look like the skibidibidobo toilet creature. He even has the same nose as me it's insane. I wish I could rewrite my genetic code, go to sleep, and wake up with a new face and body. Or burn my body and face off so people would at least feel sympathy for me and won't think I'm ugly or stop themselves from thinking so because "oh no she went through an accident". But no, that's how I look naturally and it SUCKS. I don't think even the most skilled plastic surgeon can fix this mess that is my face, they'd probably need an entire team or just quit their jobs because I'm the most hopeless case ever. #if I ever decide to kill myself for real I'll make sure to mutilate my body and face as a way to take revenge on my existence the way I do#
No. 1740330
>>1740305Yes and it’s another opportunity for everyone to whine about “Aw mental health is so stigmatized for men and he did this because we didn’t coddle him enough.” Women get shamed for anything they do, even just existing but violent men are pitied because of some hypothetical shame if they ever wanted to step foot into a therapy office. And somehow that’s a
valid reason for them to normally go on mass murder rampages. I’m sick of this ~men’s mental health~ bullshit as if women’s mental health is much better in comparison. We’re barely treated like human or listened to in the medical world but aw poor men because not everyone cares about their wittle feewings and if only we cared enough he might’ve been healed from the urge to mow down members of the community with an automatic rifle. I will never give a fuck about supporting men’s emotions, grow the fuck up and deal with your shit yourself like everyone else.
No. 1740421
File: 1698389736873.jpg (48.71 KB, 563x565, 012ebe1ffddc772cfaa6c59794ce97…)
I'm so fucking done with single thread here always devolving to racebaiting and tranny sperging. It's like I'm living on an endless loop, every week there's an another wave of newfag anons who either peaked just recently and have an oral diarrhea about how much they've been deceived by all the fellow 16-year old cringe gendies or some pampered piece of shit fresh off kiwifarms posting bigbrained takes about certain ethnic groups. Every fucking thread, every day. No other discussion ever happens, it's just racebaiting and tranny sperging. Don't people get so tired of this? I can't remember the last time there was a thread that went for 2 days without someone posting the same repetitive shit about trannies or muh rapefugees. Tranny spergs, get a fucking life. Racebaiters, kill yourselves.
No. 1740426
My school friend got in touch after like more than 10 years after we lost contact.
I am quite happy he did though, I wanted to reconnect myself but was afraid to send him a message and get ghosted like so many times before when I tried with other people or have him thinking I'm a creep stalker or something. I am sure he just wants to get more friends and probably feel less lonely since his two friends (also people that went to school with us) are married or about to get married and he probably has no one else, and it's so difficult to make new friends once you're on your early 30s. I am honestly in the same boat, and all my other friends are having fulfilling lives in different countries or with family and a career and I am so far behind I have nothing in common with them. I am even far behind this friend but we could still talk the same way we did when we were teens and he didn't really judge me for not having kids or a career or being single. He didn't even judge when I went too far on my tervery even though he avoided the subject besides telling me the lgbt community is "too politicized", though we laughed about the hogwarts legacy "cancellation" and he liked the game and told me he bought it and it was worth every penny kek. Guy still has a notebook full of our drawings making fun of the teachers and the school mates, I didn't remember that until he told me and I thought it was kinda mean but then I remembered all the heavy bullying that came from these other kids which the teachers knew about and never tried to intervene without causing more trouble to us. It got so bad I almost got expelled from the school when I got into a fight with some kid and he could be seriously injured (he wasn't, fucking twat playing the victim), in the end the school didn't expell me because my parents paid the year upfront and were well liked by the school staff and the principal as well as me never having any behavioral problems until the very end, but then I couldn't do it anymore, I just developed this bizarre and irrational fear of crowds and school settings and that made me avoid furthering my education until now, and I still get extremely anxious when planning anything to do with college or even simple language courses, I can't even hold a proper conversation with teachers or similar authority figures without sounding like a retard child. School really fucked me up and I see it fucked me more than it fucked my friend. I am completely broken I can't even write about it without crying.
My dad sometimes tells this story about the gun he had and he got rid of it because of me and my sis and the dangers of having a gun at home and I am always secretly thinking "thank God" because I would've probably killed myself at 16 or before and be some stupid tragedy where people would say they have no idea why I did it and blame on me being "weird and quiet". I used to fantasize about getting revenge on my bullies too but I don't think I'd ever do anything of the sort because I wouldn't like my family, especially my sis and my mom have their lives ruined because of my bullshit nor have my bullies become poor victims. I feel scrotish posting about it and I never told anyone about this fantasy because I know I'd get judged and called insane.
I hate how people don't really talk how bullying can fuck you unless there is some male killing randos and using it as an excuse. Everytime I tried to talk to someone I'd get it wasn't serious and I was weak or it was nothing because no one tried to physically harm me, but I wish they did, my parents would've done something, the school wouldn't be able to ignore, it would've hurt a lot less because people would take it seriously, but as it is, bullying is only serious when a scrote gets angry about not getting with some hot chick cus he's ugly boohoo mens feefees and some misogynistic crap as if I don't know most bullies of men are other men. I also really hate how these anti bullying campaigns do dog shit and all sound retarded. Yeah dumbasses, kids in class would repeat ad nauseam to not throw trash on the ground cus it's bad and then do that when they thought no one was looking. They will say it is bad, they know it, they don't give a damn nor have the power to do anything if the fucking school won't take it seriously and see victim and bully as two different entities instead of going "I don't care who started it". Fuck you.
No. 1740505
File: 1698397215484.jpg (233.18 KB, 1334x1001, 3q91fmtd1t2z.jpg)
>>1740477thank you nona, i hope you heal too. and everyone else here also. i love you all
No. 1740573
>>1740557Sometimes if you’re a woman people don’t take you seriously no matter how much you try to assert yourself. They turn it back on you and play the
victim of the evil shrieking harpy. I’ve had people call me insane and crazy when I didn’t raise my voice, didn’t swear and didn’t make threats. Just had an assertive tone and told people no. It makes me sick but you have to be cunning and manipulative, get the right people on your side etc. saying something like that would never work as a woman because the dumb scrote would just double down.
No. 1741101
File: 1698431383518.jpg (54.45 KB, 975x720, 1639442951627.jpg)
DM'd this bar/restaurant on instagram because I couldn't find answers on their website or socials and was expecting to wait for a while because I got some automates reply about them being busy at the moment, but then a while after I got a reply that told me to please use easier language so they can translate it. Their whole fucking website is available in my language and english, they post both in english and in our language yet you can't fucking reply to me in our language yet the automated reply was in our language? Bitch what the fuck, it was basic informal language I used, you fucking learn the language or tell me to message you english and don't pull this weird shit, it isn't my fault our language is notoriously hard to translate, I was not expecting this from a place this small and new.
No. 1741198
>>1741168double post because it's related:
i visited my boomer (he's maybe 62, well off) uncle the other day, and he went on and on about some weird fake story concerning this guy who apparently told his parents he wouldn't work unless he could get a job that paid $22 an hour. this pisses me off because he thinks i'm like that. but i'm not. my only requirements for a job are that it will pay the fucking bills (so i can move!! goddamn) and is in my field (tech). that's it. he's like "if you don't have the experience you need to work jobs that will GIVE you experience :)" while somehow not hearing me when i tell him every ""entry level"" job wants me to have two-five years of experience already. it doesn't make sense to me either. but what tf do you want me to do?
also hate his pressuring that i should be paying my parent's bills while living at home too/get ANY job just to do that…are you fucking crazy? i did not go to university just to end up flipping burgers or packing boxes and getting yelled at all day. i did that shit in high-school, i don't have the patience for it as an adult. it's not even fucking feasible either because we live way, way, way out in the sticks. are you gonna come and drive me to work every single day? 30 minute commute back and forth (longer than that because traffic's awful)? KILL YOURSELF
No. 1741276
>>1741221We were lying together on our phones and he was watching instagram reels and I was like “you liked that huh?” about a meme he was watching of some old lady dancing sexy it was like “oh hell naw auntie this isn’t Facebook” and then I grazed his thigh cause I knew it’d get him hard. I was like “see? you did like it” when I grabbed his penis and I was tickling him, we like play wrestle sometimes and tickle eachother a lot. He was laughing I think it was an embarrassed laugh. I let him slap my ass randomly I didn’t see how this was any different.
>>1741182>>1741187>>1741192Kek I thought so too, but we made up and it’s all good. he just said he felt humiliated, and that I can grab his pecs and ass randomly but not his dick and he forgave me.
i don’t feel that bad,sexual humiliation on a woman is probably 100 times worse I don’t believe in “imagine if the roles were reversed!” Nonsense I am mostly embarrassed of how I acted like a rape ape moid grabbing genitals>>1741185I am just kind of stupid. I’m 22.
No. 1741302
File: 1698440807826.gif (419.03 KB, 245x135, fwe.gif)
Going out with a friend for lunch tomorrow and I made the mistake of getting excited about the prospect of having dessert to my health obsessed boyfriend, who told me "having no dessert is also an option, by the way". If I don't get a job so I can break up with this guy and move out soon I'm gonna end up snapping his little chicken legs in different directions. I've cut out so many types of foods and drinks for this dude and it's never enough, he won't ever be happy.
No. 1741308
File: 1698440965449.jpg (62.02 KB, 563x555, ffgd48a9223bd69b7965e6ea7c9e52…)
I fucking hate this country I hate this government and I hate this retarded war. I was doing so fucking well before all of this bullshit, I was finally able to accept my femininity making new friends exploring new hobbies going out and experiencing the joyful childhood and teenhood that I never got to but now instead of being a normal 19 year old I get to sit in the bomb shelter see my friends mourning their lost loved ones see retards from abroad justifying it look at my government committing atrocious war crimes and making the cringiest most embarrassing tweets ever. And what the fuck am I gonna do? Move to a different country? I'm so autistic and mentally unstable to the point I'm recognized as disabled and unfit for work and not to mention I'm extremely visibly Jewish and with the rise of antisemitism worldwide I don't think I'll be very welcomed anywhere else. I'm scared of telling people I'm Jewish and Israeli because they automatically assume I'm a zionist when I honestly think it's one of the most retarded ideologies ever. During Operation Guardian of the Walls in 2021 I was so done with it I had an almost successful suicide and attempted, It was my 10th suicide attempt since 2016 and my last one. But now that this is a full on war I think I might really be ready for an 11th one. I'd rather kill myself than hear about another woman raped and another child killed, Be they Palestinian or Jewish.
No. 1741375
File: 1698443943296.jpeg (122.54 KB, 1000x1000, 7DFAC6B7-337A-4448-817E-3D06A7…)
This group of like 5 girls (total strangers) started hurling insults at me and making fun of my outfit while I was walking to the store so I turned around and followed them back to their car without saying anything. One of the girls just said “oh hell no” and they drove away. My friends told me I was overreacting and I shouldn’t have done this but I feel like they needed to learn a lesson or they’d go around disrespecting others for the rest of their lives. I don’t care if people make fun of ME but I don’t want these bitches to go around bullying people and getting away with it because no one bothered to put them in their place. I hope I saved whichever poor girl they’re currently bullying at school from getting Carrie’d and they’ll think twice before doing it again
No. 1741431
>>1741420And fuck whichever admin redtexted
victim. Everyone sucks so fucking much.
No. 1741436
File: 1698448565526.png (81.63 KB, 260x226, 1619548475067.png)
There's something comical in knowing and having the self-awareness that shopping won't fix you, but doing it anyway because it feels good. Like you can at least still pretend that getting that new wardrobe or those new fancy knick knacks are the key to making everything better. That once you have enough, you'll be content, the anxiety will stop. I also justify it to myself as I'm someone who grew up without much and always wore handemedowns and never felt allowed to ask for anything. I know this is all just pointless justifications, but still.
No. 1741439
File: 1698448967261.gif (247.94 KB, 128x128, 1647577116481.gif)
I think I'll kill myself by the end of the year if my life doesn't get any better, I used to be alive for my art but I'm so depressed it doesn't even feel good to do artistic things and get compliments on it anymore
No. 1741478
>>1741461Yeah it’s a mixed bag when you tell people you cut your family off. Some people are chill and some people want to swap stories and some people tell you you’ll change your mind and some people say you’re a horrible child (lol). I used to just stone-face people who asked me a lot of questions with a “they were
abusive and my dad was a pedo” which is the truth but boy does it shut down a conversation. I try to avoid it now and just talk about how where I grew up was pretty and mention where my family lives (which is far away from me) and that takes care of it for the most part, people assume whatever they want. My best friend was supportive but also told me I had baggage (true) and I should confront them because it worked for her; she was being sincere and it came from the heart so I didn’t feel any type of way about her advice I just am not going to do that. Dad is dead now and it’s really sad there was never going to be a reconciliation which I know because I was never going to try and also my sibling didn’t cut him off and they never got anywhere with him either.
No. 1741479
>>1741372My first bf was like that. I am skinny, in the lower end of BMI but never was a big eater at all, I've always been like that. He would berate me constantly to eat more, that he disliked my body because I wasn't "cuddly" (fuck him). I learned later he was formerly obese and had a hard time controling his appetite and was projecting it all on me, weird thing where he would have preferred to be skinnier than me or something. His wife, who used to be a healthy, slightly bigger girl (not fat but thicker) looks anorexic and emaciated now. I'm scared he's bullying her about her eating. She keeps posting about exercising and losing weight obsessivly.
Forgot to say, he was 10 years older than me and very very controlling yeah.
No. 1741509
File: 1698455887162.jpg (97.07 KB, 500x500, 00.jpg)
i want to step into traffic but then i won't be able to look at pictures of my husbando so i won't.
No. 1741538
File: 1698458568475.jpeg (142.06 KB, 794x596, IMG_6928.jpeg)
>>1741534i thought i didnt want to take my life. well i did, but when i really tried i was traumatized and told my boyfriend i will never mention suicidal feelings again. but right now why do i feel it so strongly? i wont do anything but its so strong. and over what? my emotions? well yes. because its every single day. and im deteriorating. i dont know when it ends or how to stop it. i dont want to be alone anymore. i dont want to stare at this screen or be at tthis job but the alternative isnt the “safe” one that supports my mother and i and gets me a degree. i want to feel happier and experience life more but hell i cant even see the point in jt so why do i deserve it? i think i should relapse on drugs or pull a stupid ana and not eat soi i can starve to death. im a 20 year old saying this im sorry i know i sound very weak but i dont know i mustbe honest this is how i feel im willing to fix it but i dont know how or where to start when i feel so empty and alone and with no drive
No. 1741543
>>1741534Okay… damn I am so sorry this sounds like you’re really spiraling.
Talk to your therapist or whoever gives you the meds. Keep it together a little but tell them the medicine isn’t cutting it, because it’s defiantly not if you feel this way. Talk to your mom and tell her you can’t give her rent money (I don’t know your life but you cannot give her rent money sorry, she’s your mom she has to be able to not rely on you right now). Start doing ballet again or a different physical strength thing that’s cheaper if that’s available to you.
No. 1741577
File: 1698461508731.gif (2 MB, 500x282, 1698461178336.gif)
I just ate two hot dogs. I feel so ashamed and disgusted with myself.
No. 1741606
>>1741577Sounds delicious
nonnie. But on another note, tomorrow is another day. Try not to stress over a little mistake. If you're worried about weight, just know that 2 hot dogs will not make you gain weight. You'd need to eat many hotdogs every day for your weight to change.
No. 1741638
File: 1698466487342.jpg (93.78 KB, 1241x1225, 20231025_120904.jpg)
I feel so lonely, defeated, and like things will never get better. I keep wishing I'll just pass peacefully in my sleep but I keep waking up and I have to get through work and lifr in pain nonstop. I don't want to do this anymore.
No. 1741718
>>1740169This is my whiny ass again, but holy fuck I'm so easily
triggered lately. First this moment and this morning I stumbled upon some instagram story about a woman being shamed by her dates on what she eats, and it threw me back to how my ex would tell me how I was the "fattest chick he'd ever fucked" (I was 65kg at the time, I'm 177cm) and it kinda made me emotional?? Like girl it's been yen years you can let all of his abuse go ffs. I don't think it's pms making me so emotional lately since it's not quite time yet but maybe my period is gonna come early this month?
No. 1741753
I don’t know why I fucking talk to my mother about anything concerning weight or food, I must be retarded or brain damaged or something.
I had texted her something earlier today and this evening she called to clarify. We chat about our days and because she is the quintessential almond mom, I peppered in the fact that I was so busy I forgot to eat today. She was soooooo happy.
I mentioned that after running around doing errands and not eating, I started to get dizzy so I bought a rotisserie chicken from the store that was on sale. She was still pleased.
Then I told her I was going to take the rest of the chicken and make chicken salad and have chicken salad sandwiches the rest of the week (which would be my only meal of the day).
She’s silent and I go, “what??” And she goes, “Oh….. nothing……” and sort of sighs. And again I ask her, what? And she goes, “Well, you should really be using a lettuce wrap instead of bread, it’s less calories”.
Okay????? I didn’t fucking ask?? I’m having one fucking chicken salad sandwich a day. It doesn’t matter if it has bread on it, it’s all I’m eating that day!
And it’s like that for every single thing I tell her. She just has to correct everything I do, nothing is ever good enough for her. I could do exactly what she recommends one day, tell her about it, and she would still find something to nitpick at.
I have to call her every day, though, because she has MS and I’m afraid of her dying. I love her. She’s my mom and she gave me life and I can talk to her about terf shit and how men are inferior. But I also fucking hate her and can’t stand her and have nightmares, where we get in a fight and she turns all my friends and family against me, once a week.
She would do anything for me to be under 100lbs (like she is. We’re the same height), even pay me. She offered to buy me a car if I got under 100lbs. I’m trying, but I guess I’m just a fat, lazy, unmotivated piece of shit, because I can’t do it. I’ve lost weight before. But I didn’t have as many responsibilities. My current job involves working with animals in stressful situations, and I have to be fully alert, and it’s hard, when I’m so hungry!
I hate her! I hate myself! I wish I was thin enough for her.
No. 1741782
I snitched on my sister and feel bad about it.
As a teenager, she wanted to do pharmacy studies, and my parents were OK with supporting her.
My sister and my parents always had conflictual relationships. They didn't want us to have boyfriends until we were set in our studies ; they didn't want us to drink or smoke ; they didn't allow us to get home past 2 AM when there were parties.
To access pharmacy studies, you have to go through a first year which is competitive in which only the top 20% will pass. During her first year, she played a lot of video games, went to parties, was not the most serious. As a result she scored really badly, not even close ; something like 1000/1200 students.
Then she went on to pass another exam to get accepted abroad. She failed it 3 times then finally passed it last chance.
So she went abroad. Over there, she played video games, partied, sometimes she would even have all nighters playing video games the night before exams. As a result, she failed her years quite a few times, she is about 5 years "late" in her curriculum. She almost got kicked out of pharmacy school in that country. In spite of being 3 years younger, I am 2 years ahead in school.
My parents didn't know of her behaviour while she was abroad, but I knew as she was telling me everything.
This summer, I realized it's been 5 years she is living like this. When I tried to see how she felt about all the years and money she wasted, she didn't seem to feel bad at all. In fact, she felt it was brave of her to defy my parents and live by her own principles, and that they were oppressive and deranged. I do think my parents are rough, but in the end they are making sacrifices so we can have good jobs. I also felt very jealous and also resentful that she had no remorse whatsoever wasting our money. Back at home, we have to watch every penny we spend to support her unresponsible lifestyle. I'll never have an appartment of my own and have to go through 90 minutes commutes everyday because of that, if she had not been unresponsible my life would be much easier.
So I snitched on her. But now she is suffering consequences and I feel somewhat bad about it. My parents set a camera in the entrance of her appartment to check she is not partying and so on. I am trying to get them to remove the camera because I think that's going too far and it makes me feel bad
Do you think I'm the asshole?
No. 1741825
File: 1698490580624.jpeg (14.18 KB, 260x194, IMG_8559.jpeg)
being a tall huge woman AND being cursed with autism and severe social anxiety / being unlikable is truly a curse. I lurch around awkwardly like a terrified Frankenstein's monster. I am literally picrel
No. 1741833
>>1741782>I'll never have an appartment of my own and have to go through 90 minutes commutes everyday because of thatSo your parents are only financially supporting one daughter? I would've snitched on her too. But
>My parents set a camera in the entrance of her appartment to check she is not partying Deranged indeed
No. 1741846
>>1741844Because she failed in my country so she can't try again
If she fails once again and gets kicked out of pharmacy school, she'll come back home and do something else
No. 1741849
>>1741847OK maybe this is not clear :
I live in country A, in country A, you only get one shot at the entrance exam for pharmacy school
So when she failed in country A, she had to go to country B to start over there
In country B, she alsmost got kicked out (this year is her last chance before she's kicked out)
She simply can't stay home while attending pharmacy studies because it's a 5 hour drive to go to her school from where my parents live
The camera is the compromise my parents found to "watch her behaviour" in spite of the distance
No. 1741855
File: 1698495996313.jpeg (147.23 KB, 736x733, IMG_3621.jpeg)
F
No. 1741893
File: 1698498682165.jpg (4.95 KB, 140x141, F7-iHwtbwAAjH-l.jpg)
I'm close to my period and I keep crying at everything.
No. 1741927
>>1741534Hey,
Nonnie. I'm sorry to hear you're going through a hard time. No amount of words can help console this pain, but I hope you can at least keep pushing on despite the dread you feel. I've been in a somewhat similar position, and all we can do is move forward. There's no knowing what may happen, but I like to believe it gets better.
Also, not to be too weird, but I'm pretty sure I've added you from the fft. You're really fun to talk to, and I hope we may start talking again when you feel better. If not, I'll be cheering you on regardless as your fellow nonnie in arms. Something like that. No. 1741997
i hate no-win situations. i hate when other people, some of whom don't even know you, unanimously decide that no matter what you do, you'll always be the bad person. i'm starting to notice this theme in my life and i hate it. my family used to do this to me a lot, specifically my narc grandfather and at the time i didn't understand what was going on. no matter what i did i was always wrong, particularly when he would randomly start an argument with me over dumb shit like watering the grass or going for walks at night when i wouldn't be leered at by our neighbors. if i stood up for myself, i was a smart mouth bitch, but it was okay for him to call me all kinds of names and scream at me like a loon. if i said nothing, it was just proof i was stupid, even though he would blow up on me if i did say anything. and he would still scream at me even if i kept my mouth shut and ignored the abuse.
i will admit it's been easier to see how this pattern keeps happening in my life with people outside of my family, but it still sucks because i think there's a third option here, i just don't know exactly what it is. i'm in another one of these situations where it's damned if i do, damned if i don't. i say nothing, then i feel like i'm giving in to bullying and being a coward. if i speak up for myself, i'll be portrayed as an asshole and they will just cry and complain that they didn't do anything wrong. either way i'm screwed. or am i? i don't know. i'm having to figure this out on my own.
No. 1742102
File: 1698513486341.jpeg (96.6 KB, 960x606, IMG_5212.jpeg)
i really feel like my sanity is hanging on by a thread that thins a little more with each passing day and i'm afraid of going through another psychotic break. i'm really repressing a lot right now to keep it pushing but it's getting overwhelming. i'm cold with fear and paranoia constantly again it's almost like a feeling of claustrophobia in my head and body. the thoughts are plaguing my mind i wish i could just puke or bloodlet this out but i know i can't. i've been through this already so i'm persevering as much as i can i'm more knowledgeable than i was before so i'm hoping this will pass. i feel ridiculous
No. 1742174
My mother and I have been stuck in a house with an older VERY controlling, abusive moid and cannot get out for almost 20 years (very long, complicated story and my mother made a lot of horrible decisions because of greed, she's in a lot of debt, shitty moid laws don't help us escape, etc). I struggle with not knowing whether to work minimum wage jobs to help dig my mother and I out of this mess a bit faster so I can live in a stable home or pursuing my dream of going to college so that I no longer have to struggle working minimum wage and can actually make real money and have a career and finally focus on MY life.
The thing is, I was working for many years in retail but my mother went behind my back and stole tens of thousands of dollars from me (about 20k+) and gave it to some scrote she was fucking, hoping he would pay it back (he never did) and then bought herself a new car after crashing her previous one from drunk driving. Ever since then, it made me feel hopeless that she could be stupid enough to give money to some random man especially knowing we are abused at home already and that she went behind my back and broke my trust. I worked very hard everyday for that money that I assumed was going to be mine to help myself and after what she did to me, I just felt like everything was pointless. I still do. I don't know what to do in the end long-term. It feels like I need to help clean up her messes and like I'm not in any position to go into debt right now for school when she further ruined our opportunity to escape our abuse situation. I also need a new car very badly (could have gotten one if she didn't steal my money from me) which is another reason why I feel like I need to prioritize working right away instead of sitting at a school. My life is different from the average college student. I don't have a stable house, a decent car, or extra money from mommy and daddy. Nothing wrong with that and good for those people but that is not my life. My mother also gets shitty to me when I say I want to go to college. She gets moody and doesn't want to talk about it and she is uninterested in my life or interests as a person. I feel like she definitely treats me like a work horse and she loves when I work minimum wage jobs. I think she is so stupid that she doesn't realize if I had been to college a decade ago, I would have made way more money in the long run and we would have escaped years ago.
I feel insecure that I'm getting older with no career and because of my mother's poor decisions and living in an extremely rare abuse situation that I am behind in life and a loser. I don't have any support. I never had the same opportunities as most other people because my life was robbed by some psychotic moid who harasses us daily and my mother is not a good parent. I also want to add that I don't have ANY family or friends so once my mother dies, I have no one to fall back on. I would literally be homeless. The moid knows we don't have any family so that is exactly why we are stuck. No money passed down or anything. I don't know what to do with my life and this inflation stuff is not helping at all. I hate this earth and I hate my life.
No. 1742214
File: 1698518483431.jpg (34.32 KB, 686x672, EWccFsuWAAAjCHy.jpg)
I feel like im missing out on so much when it comes to romantic relationships. Ive tried to be with moids before and every relationship was traumatizing for me. But i still want to experience something nice. The problem is, I feel too old now. I understand no relationship is like those you read about in fiction, but I wish I could experience something close. I think i have the worst luck and im not really social, so ill probably never get a chance. It's depressing and it's eating at me.
Why can't I find a good moid?
No. 1742232
>>1742207nta im just going on a blogging tangent so feel free to ignore. but i am autumn born and it's second to if not my least favorite season along with winter. it gets physically painful
my fingers and feet swell up and get hella stiff in a really painful way. it's really annoying for me in the colder seasons and i hate it, i can barely handle it i just spend those months suffering in agony until it's spring again ( my favorite season ) plus my dislike for those seasons exacerbated now that i have to commute long hours and take long walks with nowhere to hide from the rain to get from bus stop to bus stop for less than 6 hours of work per day… but i guess you could say that only with autumn and winter can you really appreciate the warmth and beauty of spring and summer. there's beauty to them all of course and i wouldn't wish to remove the cycle but i really hate being cold
most of it is probably my fault though because i don't have any cold appropriate clothes and i'm too poor to afford any and i HATE depressing and gloomy white/gray skies i've genuinely cried from how much worse they made me feel and how much i missed the sun. seasonal depression is very real to me but it's a good trade off to really appreciate the coming seasons imo kind of a discipline and i feel bad when there the seasons don't feel like they are meant to ( autumn too sunny and rainless too-warm winters etc. ) i'm glad and grateful things are the way they are in nature
No. 1742247
>>1740367Thank you nona, you are worth so much too and I'm glad you're able to feel content with being a gay woman.
>>1740375>>1741127Thank you for the kind words nonas. And I can imagine, as much as I hate being lesbian I'm also glad I don't have to date moids. I hope you're able to find a man who is good and not a complete degenerate. But those men are very hard to find these days which makes me pity straight women.
No. 1742299
File: 1698521857406.jpg (123.1 KB, 540x540, 912549540.jpg)
How the fuck am I supposed to get a boyfriend when every man I know is married? And all of them have children, have these retards never heard of condoms? I'll end up dying alone this way
No. 1742300
File: 1698521877975.jpeg (214.23 KB, 1125x2436, received_1286574072054491.jpeg)
They need to reimplement conversion camps but instead of pray the gay away I want them to pray whatever this is away, literally my worst fear is my child will be an endo chameleon poly system
No. 1742388
File: 1698529189792.gif (4.19 MB, 640x360, the-simpsons-hell.gif)
My sister is younger than me, but she's one of the worst people I know because she's a miniature version of my mom (who's already a sinister and destructive person). She never says "thank you" for any-fucking-thing. When you give in and give her what she begs for, she'll downplay it with some form of "you could have done better". Don't even make food for her, because sometimes she'll beg you to make something just so she can point and laugh at the "nasty dish" SHE ASKED YOU TO MAKE. She's always ready to throw other girls under the bus and to make fun of cases like Amber vs. Johnny but supports trans ""women"" and gay males with undying love. Any kindness is faked because she'll always talk shit about people who are supposed to be her closest friends. Super fucking nosey and thinks she's entitled to know your business, but tells you to fuck off if you even ask her about her day. Two moods: either happy because she's getting attention, or the most sour person in the room because she randomly decided to hate you. If it's ME she decides to hate, there a 50/50 chance she's gonna send me a death threat, because our mom is an animal who raised her to treat me like a punching bag. You can already guess that she never even gets a talking to because she and my mom have the same goddamn brain. There's some other and even more fucked up things she did, but I don't wanna get anymore pissed than I already am.
She has chronic kidney disease, but her hygiene is gross and she's always drinking soda. Don't even tell her that she needs to work on her hygiene and cut back on soda because she'll call you stupid even though she's a fucking idiot. In the past, I tried venting this to friends but they always told me the same: "oh you're just jealous, she's young she doesn't know any better, get over it she's not your problem", and etc. Those past friends would always end it with "but she's your sister, you cant possibly feel this negative about her", but no, I truly do feel this negative about her. She's my sister, but her personality only makes me wish she wasn't. This is real and sometimes, I can't wait for all that soda drinking to pile on and just fucking end her already.
No. 1742446
I've created a horrible cycle and I feel like I'm at my breaking point..I'm just not physically attracted to my bf and I haven't been for a while now. I try and chalk up my disinterest in sex to my birth control but that's not entirely true because I have instead turned to smut and husbandofagging and will get myself off as frequently as I can. I find myself lamenting not having a muscular partner, even though I work out I'm not like some sort of catch. I think I feel even worse because he tells me all the time how he finds me attractive and tries to help me with my poor self image but it's becoming more common that he can tell i'm not into it when he tries to initiate sex. Part of my disinterest in partnered sex does come from my discomfort with my own body (gained weight during covid, still having a hard time losing it) but also my bf gained weight too, he often acts "immature" and his hygiene has devolved..he will go days without showering and wear dirty, stretched out and stained clothes when he leaves the house. I've had to tell him several times to change his clothes because it's more than I can bear and he gets huffy about it and like i'm being unreasonable. I finally got the courage to ask him about cutting his ratty long ass mullet and he got sad about cutting it. He did at least compromise and got it trimmed but afterwards regretted even that. Besides that, I feel duped. When we got together he was well put together and made more money than me. Now, like I said, he's a slob and I make nearly twice as much. Instead of working hard on his own projects and work, he lets himself get taken advantage of by his "business partner" and thinks more about d&d than getting out of his dead end job..He also can be hard on himself about the weight he has gained and feeling disgusted in himself so I can't just tell him all this. Not to mention I can't even imagine how awful I'd feel if my partner told me he thought I was disgusting. But like I said, I don't know what to do and I don't think there is a gentle enough way to have this conversation. He's promised to work on his weight and fitness in general since he is always worried about getting an obesity related disease, so I'm just going to keep white knuckling it and working on my own fitness too.
No. 1742481
>>1742446>wear dirty, stretched out and stained clothes bad
>when he leaves the housecriminal
No. 1742733
File: 1698557224040.jpeg (136.43 KB, 944x1200, 14E10B85-BC75-42F4-9F90-A006FD…)
>>1742725Southern nonna here and yeah its almost disturbingly cheap in certain areas. People can make their mcmansions for 60k-100k and still have a huge yard and the only con would be driving to the city with the rest being all fields and farmland in between
No. 1742760
Went to a local bar by myself. They had a costume contest and I just felt like dancing instead of sitting on my couch alone for the night. At the rate of once every hour I had a guy approach me and ask me to dance, no big deal, but each time he wanted to dance again he would try to get my body closer to his. Honestly I should've expected some dudes to be weird about it, alcohol is involved. The last guy who was dancing with me was rubbing my fingers weirdly during the dancing, towards the end of it he was telling me he's my husband and he loves me, his English was very limited, but I just kept saying "Noooo, you're playing." Eventually he got the hint.
It's just so weird how club culture plays out when a single woman is around. The guys would basically try to "claim me" by dancing in a circle around me, even when I would dance around to different spots.
There was one guy there who was by himself I was remotely interested in dancing with and we locked eyes a few times, but by the end I could only assume he was gay or too shy to approach me. One guy tried to buy me drinks and he introduced me to his friend and he his friend I was alone, kind of concerned, but they quickly realized I just wanted to keep dancing, so that was smooth.
There was a group of grandmas there, it was so sweet to see. They were right in front of the speakers while dancing and drinking margaritas.
So I guess this was something to experience, maybe I'll do it again another weekend. It's definitely building confidence for me, and the entire time I was thinking of jiujitsu moves I could do if a guy tried to hold me way too close and I could knock him to the ground fairly easily. I'm having a date tomorrow so I think this is overall helping me be more social, even if it's awkward, I'm more open to putting myself out in social situations. It even makes me more bold to reject guys who aren't for me.
No. 1742768
>>1742765I said he's fucking weird for hanging out with teenagers at his age and it makes him look like a creep and he said I'm "being insane". and that I'm "verbally
abusive". Moids genuinely do not deserve human rights.
No. 1742778
File: 1698563718485.jpeg (62.48 KB, 554x554, IMG_1626.jpeg)
In the same weekend I walked past my ex helping his new girl out of an Uber and my celeb crush posting his new gf on ig. It’s so over nonnas
No. 1742798
>>1742768You're not insane or
abusive. Nine times out of ten, it takes a very immature person to actually hang out with people at least ten years younger (particularly when they just graduated high school). I've unfortunately came across dudes who surrounded themselves with people way younger than them, and those guys would always manipulate and boss around their younger "friends" into doings bids. Playing the role of the "mature one", but steering their "friends" into making bad decisions that will only benefit the "mature ones". Those dudes were always manchildren too; only watching cartoons like Invader Zim and doing kindergarten shit like "tickle fights" and "sleepovers". Worst but common case scenario, they "advise" their younger "friends" into "trying out" sex with them. Males are already gross and pathetic, but it's cranked up to eleven when they do that age gap "friendship" bullshit. 90% of the time, it's basically grooming done by what could only be predatory wastes of space.
No. 1742811
>>1742801you should try period panties for extra security
use them with a tampon or a pad when you're having a heavy flow the first days
No. 1742830
>>1742811thanks
nonny, but i just checked and the prices are insane in my country. i think i'm going to ask my grandma to sow reusable pads to underwear, or some other diy alternative, because almost 45 euros for three pairs (on sale!) is just crazy. i'm wondering if the aliexpress ones are just as good
No. 1742843
im here to update the saga known as: penis not worky guy
i got him to get a scorpion tattoo knowing full well my sidebitch was a scorpio. about 1-2 weeks later i did finally give up and dump him. the viagra wasnt working, the penis pump made a fart noise everytime he pumped it and wasnt working and he was just getting increasingly angrier, grunting, farting noises, pumping. it didnt work girls, but this is now a core memory of hilarity in my life. anyway so i gave up and dumped him and now im watching him try to slowly remove 300 of my songs from his spotify likes. im now with autist emo scorpio, we fuck minimum 3x a day (love the honeymoon stage) and he has offered to buy me a horse for my birthday, teach me to ride it, and have shared custody if it works out. thats 3 months from now. i know moid promises mean jack shit but ill bet on this horse, if he pulls through on this insane grand gesture and we dont slowly descend into hell, ill marry him eventually. reality is created by our own minds and i am insane, but its not without some benefits.
No. 1742880
>>1742863That's beautiful
nonnie, I believe in you!
No. 1742949
>>1742913Christmas would 100% be a better time to announce, even just because 5 weeks is so early.
She could get those cute "I love my grandpa/grandma" onesies and ultrasound or something.
No. 1742972
>>1742913Tell everyone she’s lying if she tries to announce that she’s pregnant kek. Just embarrass the shit out of her
nonnie. Smack her in the back hard with a baseball bat? Maybe it’ll induce a miscarriage. The baby is better off dead.
No. 1742994
File: 1698583129467.jpg (20.17 KB, 750x455, aaaaaaa.jpg)
I wish I could just stop caring about how other people see me. I think this is the main thing keeping me from having a fulfilling life. I always worry too much about others possibly getting a bad opinion of me and it makes it impossible for me to have a normal social life. I just freeze. I just avoid people. Whenever someone talks to me I always come up with the most boring, braindead responses because my brain is working overtime to come up with an answer that the other person will appreciate. I know the answer is to just stop caring but I can't. I don't know how. I don't see a way out, I think I'm doomed to be a mentally ill autist for the rest of my life
No. 1743026
>>1743006Good
nonnie!! Never settle, being along is better than settling. I didn't even date until I found my ideal man and now I'm married to him, it was worth the wait.
No. 1743027
>>1742843you are a legend, nonita. keep up the good fight for the nonas (pick any post above (or any of mine)) who cannot summon the pussy strength or wherewithal to Absolutely Do It To Em.
in scorpio season no less? that's what they all should get for the next month.
vidrel and t. scorpio
No. 1743084
>>1743081ntayrt but what if I actually am disliked and pitied by everyone for being weird ugly and fucking retarded
I've been in a lot of situations where people in fact have said as much behind my back
No. 1743088
>>1742798he just keeps sending me texts saying I'm insane and verbally
abusive and then attacking things about me because he feels attacked. but I'm just so disgusted and grossed out by a 33 year old willingly choosing to hangout with teenagers again and again…
No. 1743090
>>1743088it's always the absolute worst scumfuck men claiming women are """"
abusive"""" lmao
"insane" is even worse
No. 1743283
File: 1698597508783.png (109.97 KB, 275x273, C5D8E2A2-5569-4278-8CDD-1F66C1…)
Got jumpscared last night into seeing pics from my ex’s annual Halloween party. I can’t tell if it was a good one or not because there’s not a ton of pics but the ones I have seen the place looked kinda empty. One guy posted something around 3 am and the table they usually use for beer pong was fucking spotless, like no trash or cups or anything. The party I went to wasn’t all that big and even we left a bunch of shit to clean up kek. A lot of his coworkers seem to be doing other shit this weekend. I hope it was lame and his ghosting everyone is coming back to bite him.
No. 1743369
>>1743332I'm the kind of off puttingly ugly that losing weight can't quite fix, however being skinny is one of the few things that have helped my confidence in the past. when I'm normal weight I only look even more awkward and disgusting and most of all enormous
the thing is though, it's always been my personality that's the final nail in the coffin. I might me ugly but what makes people hate me is how inept I am, but I'm too old to fix it and don't know how to stop being the way I am
No. 1743384
I don't know what to do any more. I'm mid 20s, very good degree but in a useless subject, no job sticks, all I seem to be able to do is temp catering/bar gigs, lived independently for a year and a half but crashed back home because I was spending too much on substances and had no friends, now stuck here with no community and an alcoholic around 24/7. I will be able to move on when we sell the house, but I really don't know when he'll be done with it, progress is going slowly as you can imagine, I'm still grateful for the care and roof over my head though. Don't earn enough to move out right now. Have a boyfriend, love him to death, but I think he is losing interest like they always do after honeymoon phase and that's fucking me up. Hobbies and interests have been forgotten. Can't make myself do anything useful or helpful, I just hyperfixate on cooking meals every day, and I'm really good, but I'm sure the obsession is an ED hangover. At least that's mostly quiet for now, and I'm in decent shape, but, on the whole, I can't shake the feeling that everything is just going to keep getting worse, and worse. I've been crying all the time I'm just in pain.
No. 1743401
File: 1698601499512.jpg (42.71 KB, 500x375, aaeecc099371e68aa9fdce948e0077…)
This is the 7th cake my mom decided to "experiment with" by baking and chose to throw away right after because she fucked it up, or forgot to make icing for it. Making cakes for parties is her side hustle, and for the last three discarded cakes, it was a recipe she invented that required so much butter. She's wasting so much butter and other ingredients for a cake she keeps fucking up and throwing away. It reminds me of those dumpster diving videos where people find hoards of fresh bread and still-good food that Panera, buffets, and other restaurants decided to throw away for the most trivial reasons. Isn't it ironic that the people whose job it is to make food are the ones who waste it the most?
No. 1743409
File: 1698601759439.jpg (7.81 KB, 236x296, 0b3c5601df9727048e1053cbbd63bb…)
I'm part of a close-knit group of 4 women, we always do things either as the entire group or one-on-one. We've been hanging out regularly since like 2019, though with some periods where we simply don't have time to do it as much because…well, life.
One of the friends gave birth earlier this year, nothing much changed neither during or after the pregnancy except we got a little +1 from time to time, we still hung out just as much. However this same friend sent us a long message this morning about how left out she's been feeling and like we've become a little trio without her, which came completely out of left field because we haven't really done anything together without her and don't really communicate more or less either. But of course we apologized for making her feel that way, whatever caused it wasn't deliberate in any way and that we would never go off anywhere us three without even thinking about inviting her but she still seems pretty hung up on something, but doesn't want to really specify over text so we are trying to figure out when we all can meet up (but one of us is kinda struggling with her schedule atm).
Not gonna lie, I'm very confused while I also understand if it could be that she got hung up on something and it caused a snowball effect now that she is spending a lot of time at home with the baby and have a lot of time to ponder over things, especially since she is struggling to click with other mothers. I'm so worried about that she is gonna distance herself from us, I've sent her a message where I again apologize for the situation, wrote that I can speak for all of us in that we all really care about her and if she wants to talk about it over the phone a little bit with me or rather wait until we can all see each other. I haven't gotten a response yet, and I haven't been able to focus on anything today. The others seem fairly calm about the situation, since no one has done anything wrong and are just happy that she opened up about how she's feeling and thinks she probably just need some validation that she is loved and always considered a part of the group, like everyone does from time to time. But I just can't still still knowing that she has been carrying all these concerns for so long and I just want to talk it all out. I just can't deal with knowing I unwittingly hurt someone I care about.
No. 1743428
>>1743411I hate it because I live in one of the most isolated countries, failed at making friends during my entire childhood and teens for reasons partly out of my control, my parents are cold autistic npcs and I have no relations with extended family or siblings
if even normies are having trouble making friends what the fuck do I do? I'm panicking about this more and more the older I get. nobody truly wants me around and I can't find a reason to live knowing I will end up completely alone if I even survive
No. 1743442
File: 1698602865967.jpg (566.7 KB, 1530x1530, 1687238788888.jpg)
Bf is giving me autismo BPD treatment again.
We went to a Halloween event over the weekend and basically spent all of Friday/Saturday together (I did all the driving). Today, I need to drive (4+ hours) back to my hometown for work, and coincidentally, my friends and coworkers from there invited me out for drinking. I might just ditch out on work to chill with them.
I don't have friends in this town because I basically moved out here for bf. Nothing happens out here and he has no non-family to hang out with. The amount of driving that I have to do to make my employment and social life work is abysmal and it gets old.
Anyways, I was finalizing the party details over the phone. I planned to bring alcohol and drugs and asked my friends to be sure everyone on their end was cool and if I could stay at their shared place overnight just in case and get back to me.
The reason I asked is because if I get too high/drunk and it's late then tbh I don't really want to make the drive back to bf's place especially if I have to be there for work on Monday anyway.
Bf overheard my phone conversation. When I approached him in the bedroom he was acting agitated at me when I told him about my party plans and quipped *"Do whatever you want. I guess I'll just watch your dog."
His attitude was so out of left field cause I didn't do or say anything wrong? I said I did not have to go or that he could go with me, and again he snipped "Do what you want." I got the feeling what he was mad about was the part about me possibly staying over. I asked him what was wrong or what did I do wrong cause I was confused and he stormed off saying he did not want to talk to me and to leave him alone.
To be honest…he acts like he hates me. He negs me a lot. He blows up at me over minor things and then treats me like I was the one who escalated, and then he threatens to kick me out if I dare become angry and defend myself from his attack. As if he pulls the rug out from under me when I do not comply with his will. It seems like the rules he has for himself are very different than the rules he wants me to follow.
If his concern is about "cheating" at this party, then I don't understand how holding my feelings hostage and doling out abuse with the silent treatment is supposed to endear me so much to him that I wouldn't pounce at the opportunity when another man treats me with interest and respect.
No. 1743526
>>1743517I like some pop music and I think Olivia Rodrigo is gorgeous but I agree nona. Her music is about being a teenage girl and I just can't relate and its not appealing anymore. (Also personally her music is boring but people have different taste ig)
There's nothing appealing about watching a 19 year old dance sexy and sing about her boy troubles.
No. 1743549
>>1743526I didn't just mean that you can't relate to a teenage girl, but a pop star your age as well. The skimpy outfits, the lyrics about their sex appeal, their gorgeous looks. Like, the typical woman can't relate to that at all.
I watched a video from this guy who was like 25 and said he'd grown out of rap music because there was no appeal anymore. Young boys grow up loving that shit thinking they can get that lifestyle, then you grow up, you're just another worker ant, so idolizing rappers who sing about getting 1 million hoes and being rich just loses its appeal.
No. 1743615
File: 1698608142714.png (223.14 KB, 500x470, 1661005299408.png)
My cat got ear mites and I let my dad know so he could get the treatment for it, and he gets pissed at me for saying this (???) because "you can't treat ear mites you just have to clean their ears occasionally". Where the fuck did you get that advice from? Apparently one of our cats has had ear mites for a while because he genuinely didn't know you could get treatment for it… Sick of having to live with this tard.
No. 1743648
>>1743632Antivirus subscriptions are also calculated in dollars for some reason so I don't have any. I'm technology illiterate so I'm scared I'll fuck up my pc if I download pirated stuff
>>1743641Not from there but the pain is the same. I'm wondering if I should buy everything I think I might want before it becomes too expensive. But then I might end up getting too many games I don't like and I'll regret spending money forever. This is why I had a huge wishlist anyway, I hesitate on spending money already and now I have to decide on buying now or forever holding my peace. Can't believe something as global as gaming is making me wish I was a first worlder
No. 1743659
>>1743648>from a poorfag country>spends hard-earned autism benefits on not just regular games but Steam games, even>too scared to pirateAnon, what the fuck? I live in one of the wealthiest countries in the world with the strictest copyright laws and I've literally never been caught. Being a thirdie is basically a free pass to pirate everything, there is no way in hell you'll get clapped for it.
By the way, buying games on Steam does not mean you own them. You are, legally speaking, paying for the right to use them, so when the service ends in your country there's a chance they'll take your games too. You're better off buying games on GOG or just, you know, pirating GOG versions of games. You're basically burning your money right now. Seriously, just pirate.
No. 1743705
File: 1698611312775.jpeg (29.12 KB, 448x420, 1693149197000.jpeg)
honestly my body is dumb. Eat a ton of high-zinc foods (the main food I eat is meat) yet apparently I have a recurring zinc deficiency. I've been tested for it low before on several occasions, including half a year ago. was having weird infections, hair falling out like crazy, etc, for over a month and I started taking zinc again and it stopped. like wtf?
No. 1743711
>>1743696Literally, nobody even messages me and I don't get why because I've placed huge amounts of effort into all of my friendships/interactions with people. My only friend left me for my ex boyfriend and he is gay. He cheats on her with men and emotionally/mentally abuses her. She keeps him in her house rent free, he's a slob. Doesn't go to work. I have nobody in my life. She was the only person that I've ever felt connected or close to and the only intelligent or decent person I've had in my life. She was my only connection to society and sanity. I've taught her a lot of things, to the point where she ended up appropiating my personality.
I need support in my life or genuine friendship/connection so fucking much and the only person that got me out of this place is now dating my
abusive ex and She completely removed me from her life. She doesn't even message me anymore. I've put in a lot of meaning into our friendship and she keeps that disgusting and mentally
abusive slob in her house rent free that cheats on her.
I'm so suicidal due to social isolation
No. 1743756
I just feel so hopeless and stupid. Stupid because I thought for a moment that I was like other people and I could change. I could get happier, fitter, better in 10 or 20 steps. All I did was hurt myself even more because I didn’t understand that people like me just don’t have it. Whatever other people have that makes them have normal interactions and have friends and have things work out for them - I don’t have that. And I wasted years on this. Years of trying to make friends and talking and putting myself out there only to be rejected again and again without understanding why. I tried to change the way I dress. I remembered the way my teachers would grimace when looking at me in elementary school and ask my mom why she didn’t put make up on me, so I’d wear make up; maybe I wouldn’t be pushed to the back and mocked like I was then. I tried to fix my speech disabilities. I got new clothes. I remembered the way people constantly mocked my smile and spent time on stupid looksmaxxing forms and went and got braces. Bad move; my cheeks fell flat and my entire face changed and I look way, way worse. Just plain ugly. I lost so mich fucking weight to get people to love me, just to have a friend. Just not to spend months alone in my room. Just not to go on years without talking to someone outside of work and professional contexts. Now I look fucked up and anorexic and even if I gain weight whatever braces did to my face ruined it. I took down the mirrors around me because I couldn’t stand looking at myself anymore. Not only because I was ugly and felt like my face swirled around in deformities, but I couldn’t look at proof of my existence. It put me in so much pain. I lost my job because I was so depressed. My hair started falling out and my body kept acting up and I get this nerve pain all over and I spent my money on tests. I had to move back in with family and a misogynistic father who I used to financially support. I stopped applying for jobs because what’s the fucking point, I applied for so many and lost count, only to find in some of these companies the people that got the job didn’t get it because they were that much better than me, but because their uncle or aunt or mom knew the higher ups. It feels like torture most of the time and sometimes I get this flare ups where I can’t take it and I keep hitting myself before understanding what’s really going on and stopping. It’s so fucking awful. I have no friends. I was okay with being single forever and dying on my own, but now I feel like some kind of animal. Nothing I do goes right and I don’t understand why. All I know is that it’s just not destined to happen for me. Whatever things happen to normal people. I was okay before, I just wish I didn’t listen to people and try. I wish I didn’t try so hard. I feel like a stupid child who got lied to
No. 1743826
>>1743735>>1743754>>1743719Damn maybe you answered this for me
>>1743569 they want doormats and they can tell I’m not one kek
No. 1743906
on Friday I got a call that I had tested positives for hsv2, or genital herpes. I was able to hold it together because I was at a convention, but I called to get a western blot test from university of Washington tonight to confirm and broke down crying on the phone. I tested negative for hsv1 (oral herpes/cold sores) and had a value of about 2.4 for hsv2. However, false positives are apparently very common for this test in the 1.0-3.5 range for igg testing, which is what I had done. It’s a 50% chance or so. So the western blot is the gold standard and can apparently confirm if it’s a negative or positive. I’m just so scared. I’m relatively low risk, as I’ve only ever had one partner and we use condoms every time. I’ve never given him a blowjob. I was the first partner he had intercourse with but he did do fingering/handjobs with other partners. I have no reason to believe he’s been cheating as he’s been cheated on and we spend massive amounts of time together. I’m not really worried about getting it from him though, maybe it’s possible but what really scares me is that I might have contracted it from the guy who molested me when I was young if I really am positive. He was an older teen when I was a child so of course I have no idea what his sexual history was, but he did force me to give him oral and there might have been some genital contact, I genuinely don’t remember. My biggest fear was that I got herpes or warts from that and that fear went away after I got full panel std testing done and I had my gyno tell me I had fordyce spots, not warts or a herpes outbreak. But I didn’t realize until doing research this weekend that none of the std testing I got ever included hsv testing. I thought since all my test results were negative I didn’t have it and that it was included somewhere in the test. The western blot is really expensive, it’s 250 for the test alone without including getting the blood drawn and shipped. So probably 350+. But I’m really praying it’s a false positive. Another thing that has me unsure of these results is I had gotten a message from my doctor the day before that all my labs looked normal and I was negative for gonorrhea and chlamydia. Then the next day I got the message about hsv2 and that the lab couldn’t test for gonorrhea and chlamydia for some reason. So I emailed my doctor back this weekend and am waiting to hear more about these conflicting messages, especially because there’s supposed to be a supplemental test done when you test positive for hsv2 in that range and I can’t tell if the lab did that test or not. What’s really fucking with me is I made me and my boyfriend go get tested together before we ever had sex and really thought we were in the clear. I had no idea a lot of std panels, even full ones, don’t include hsv testing because of the high rate of false positives. I’ve never had any herpes symptoms and the only reason I ever thought I might was because I was molested and didn’t know what fordyce spots were. And the CDC doesn’t recommend testing people without symptoms because of the false positive rate. I had no idea the std panel at my doctor was including those tests. I’ll probably just do the western blot for peace of mind. I just needed to get it all out before I can talk to my doctor about where to go from here and tell my boyfriend. I’m also scared this will hurt our relationship. Please pray for me that it’s a false positive nonnies, I’m so scared and messed up over these test results that I had no idea to even expect.
No. 1743976
>>1743970What if they are horrible and you just respond back to that?
>>1743969Are 8 year old children that are being sexually and physically abused and that are surrounded by poverty absolved of responsibility?
No. 1744073
File: 1698637288530.jpeg (36.14 KB, 258x320, IMG_8338.jpeg)
dearest nonnies,
i am legitimately willing to pay someone to give me some solid steps or advice or an outline to dealing with my mental illness and spiraling.
ive had it since i was little. for 11 years. multiple. ive tried medication and therapy on and off and have been consistently going now for over a year but this fucking medication despite fixing my anxiety entirely has done nothing for my depression. im FAILING college for the first time ever. i am careless. i dont like to exercise anymore. no libido. no drive. im apathetic most days. it feels like no matter what im doomed and i keep repeating a spiral. my brain feels fried. mental illness has fucked me up so bad and im doing everything right. im sick of the medication hopping and burn out and fucking up. i just want to love life again and graduate without anxiety and depression. i emailed my psychiatrist asking to get off the medicine and maybe i can do therapy more often and figure out some plan…but im spiraling. i cant decide if the anxiety and suicidalness was worse than this feeling of only existing. all i get pleasure from is food. its so weird. i gained weight out of nowhere. i stare blankly at walls. i have no friends. i dont have any drive to do my hobbies or else i wouldnt fucking mind the lonelienss. im sober. i come here to cry and vent twice a month now. somethings gotta give. somethings gotta work. please nonnies, ill pay you. i have some spare money. i just cant lose my relationship, i cant fail or give up my dreams, but i dont care anymore about trying to keep any of it. it hurts so bad. i need to get my ass into gear. i know its my responsibility but its so hard to control this all. im sorry for whining. i want to be strong and independent and capable. i never used to be like this despite my illness. i was so studious, nobody suspected a thing. now i am a shell. it feels so unfair. i miss my empathy and drive. i just wish it didnt come with bouts of being suicidal and overly emotional.
No. 1744204
File: 1698648338963.jpg (58.08 KB, 564x726, 18c6cdb8885478b80f7dd6d6196fd5…)
>>1744178this is very true.
average-slim build: track calories. done
athletic build: same as above, more protein, more exercise. done
ig baddie thick build: get chubby/fat, then get underchin, belly, maybe arm lipo, bbl, hip dip injections, pose perfectly every time to maximize ass, use spanx and tight clothing in every outfit because this looks like shit under regular loose clothing
No. 1744495
>>1744073I'm not a medical professional or anything, but imo you should ask your therapist to try a different medication. If they refuse, get a different therapist. I can never find anyone taking new patients near me so I use sesamecare and have had good luck with everyone there. You could also taper off your medication (if safe, idk what you're on or for how long) for two or three weeks and see how you feel, since you mentioned feeling more functional without it. After feeling more like yourself, try a new therapist/medication and tell them about your bad experience with this medication.
I don't know you and am only going off of your post, but to me it looks like your anxiety med isn't working that well since you're coming off a panicking a lot in your life, but again, I don't know you or your situation. I could very well be wrong. Good luck and I'm wishing you well.
No. 1744500
>>1742938i don't want to die i just have psychosis
amongst other shitty things in my life like poverty and i feel myself spiraling. doesn't mean i should kill myself about it. reconsider
No. 1744556
>>1742913Sorry for late but I would put everyone in a group chat and say “Congratulations on your pregnancy sis!” before the dinner. If you can stomach it, do it under the pretence of wanting to plan a baby shower or similar.
My family are shitheads too, sometimes you have to learn to play them at their own game.
No. 1744568
>>1744209based
nonnie.
tangentially, i am normal-weighted now, but i used to be BMI 36 after a lot of rebound weight from being BMI 14.
the way men treated me is as you’d expect; at BMI 19 they were on me like flies on shit, over BMI 30 and they were either hostile or refused to acknowledge me. but women were the total opposite. at my current weight, i get a lot of animosity from women, whereas when i was fat, i was very popular and made friends with other women super easily in new situations. i am certain it’s because they didn’t see me as any kind of threat/made them look better in comparison back then. i am not even especially attractive now, just not fat, and the difference is surprisingly pronounced.
it’s funny and i get it, but it does make me sad. i love and appreciate women so much, i value their friendship and do not give a shit about our perceived fuckabilities according to the moid gaze. i just want to have fun and lots of friends again.
No. 1744594
I’m so fucking depressed atm. About five weeks ago I decided to try drinking celery juice every morning on an empty stomach, after seeing tons of people hyping it up on my fyp and claim it’ll give you perfect skin. My skin was already pretty clear and people complimented my skin all the time, and it took me long to get here since I was recovering from acne last year. I only drank CJ for five days until I quit after realising it was purging me like crazy. Now five weeks later my skin still hasn’t healed, and I have barely been outside these five weeks. My birthday even was this month and I had plans for Halloween, all which I had to cancel because of the state of my skin. Some people might think I’m overreacting but to me this is very serious, if my skin isn’t clear I simply don’t feel beautiful.
I’ve cried alot and I feel so ashamed and insecure about myself, I avoid looking in the mirror. And even though I’m using my skincare I don’t feel like my skin is getting better. One day I was actually so upset that I wrote a post about my negative experience with the CJ cleanse of a skincare subreddit, two actually, but they got banned for some reason even though I just tried to warn people. Same happened to a comment I posted on someone else’s post asking what people’s experience with it was. It’s so weird to me how they’re censoring people like that and it hurts me as well. Because if I saw any posts from people saying this would be one of the side effects I’d never even give it a try. My heart is broken and my confidence is crushed. Worst about all of this is that even though it’s kinda clearing up slowly rn, I’ve gotten tons of scarring which is gonna take forever. All I worked for my skin to get to where I was for almost two years was taken away from me in five days just bc I followed some dumb tiktok trend. I’m literally suicidal, I don’t want to live if I can’t be beautiful.
No. 1744647
my girlfriend is a fellow farmer, and i hope she knows i love her a lot
it's not been long, and we didn't even see each other irl yet as we unfortunately don't live in the same country, so maybe these words don't mean that much now, but i hope she will stick with me, she doesn't know how much she brightens my days; i love her laugh, her smile, her dumb little quirks, how innocently spontaneous she can be at times while being also very smart, how she goes along with my weirdness and complements it, how we can go on talking for so long without ever getting tired
i don't care if it may seem hopeless or stupid in many ways, if she stays with me i'm sure we'll make the most of however much time we have, i wouldn't want it to go any other way
i feel like i found my place in the world, i'm very grateful!
No. 1744794
File: 1698687121027.jpeg (24.26 KB, 587x523, images - 2023-10-30T112030.720…)
I'm quite aware self-pity is pretty faggy but I've been suppressing my emotions so here it goes. My mother makes feel miserable, talking to her feels like walking on eggshells whenever I try to emotionally open myself or make some slight mistake. I try to empathize with her and understand that just like me, she too is frustrated with her life but in a sense it feels like I'm dealing with a turbo sperg that will tell me she wants to make the relationship between us better, only for her to throw a fit for fuck knows why.
No. 1744795
>>1744788Aww
nonnie. I hope you can break the cycle eventually. There's no reason to be so hard on yourself
No. 1744813
>>1744570the
whole planet? are you superman?
No. 1744846
File: 1698689912857.png (105.24 KB, 275x206, AAB268FD-7F19-42AF-86AC-CED79E…)
I’m still so angry at my ex for leaving the way he did because he hates himself too much for a real love but I know there was a point in my life where I would’ve done the exact same thing (and I almost did it to him tbh).
No. 1745206
File: 1698699075566.jpg (30.61 KB, 564x552, 2c38130c6549b21609592349c15f71…)
I love my mom but she is so emotionally draining to be around since she takes EVERYTHINGGGGGG that sounds slightly negative as some personal attack.
No. 1745298
File: 1698703273391.jpg (184.56 KB, 1280x716, IMG_2087 (1).JPG)
I am ovulating so hard and can't stop thinking about torturing a moid, a specific one; I want to conquer his body and mind. He activates every sadistic tendency locked deep within me, but mostly when I ovulate. Is there an herb to take to stop ovulating? I have to suffer here, gooping eternally?
No. 1745428
>>1745421her posts all sound the same. they're always about how the world is against her, everyone hates her, she can't post here because even we hate her, nobody wants her to succeed, she's incapably of experiencing love, she will never know peace, everyone lies about her, everyone is
abusive, the world abuses her, she wants to kill herself but doesn't want to let the world win, bla bla
No. 1745444
My brain is torturing me. I've had this crush on my best friend's husband's best friend. It's gone away and came back recently now that I'm single again.
It first started over a year ago because we would both be third and fifth wheeling when with our best friends, who are husband and wife, and when we were out strangers already assumed we were dating. We'd always end up having to split bills and sit next or across from each other. I was falling hard for him for a good month, drawing scenarios of him protecting and saving me when I fall and us holding hands, and that crush went away when I found my now ex last year.
Now forward to more recently, the feelings for this guy comes back weeks after I dump my ex and I end up being squished next to him the majority of the time at a show, basically covered in his back sweat. It didn't help a week or so before that show, he added me on the one social media platform I still use. Even on the way to the show, we were bouncing off each other joking around and giggling while our best friends were like "what are you two saying?" in a silly tone. Even the other day, he was over at my best friend's house and I was like "Oh yay! He's here!" I'm mostly surprised because he now lives 100 miles away. I was apparently saying things he said earlier before I arrived and it made my friends laugh. There was a point when we were eating dinner I had my hand laid out on the table and then he laid his hand out close to mine, and we had our hands laid out almost touching for a good couple minutes. My mind immediately went to the fantasy of him touching my hand and we lock eyes and smile and discover we both have feelings. Just surrounding recently, he's been more open to talking to me directly and asking me questions and briefly showing me what he's been up to.
It feel like I am having this high school type of crush where you "accidentally" fall for a friend.
I don't want to make things awkward if I come forward with this crush resurfacing, but it's definitely at the front of my mind and the "what if" aspect of it is making my mind race. The husband already told me a year ago this guy isn't interested in me and iirc a few months ago the husband reiterated his best friend said I'm not his type. And after that show, we were sitting next to each other and I got a glimpse of him chatting with someone he probably went on a date with or is trying to go out with or something. I'm keeping in my mind he's physically too far away now, and even initially when I first met him I told myself he was not in the age range I would like a partner to be.
Basically, he's emotionally unavailable for me and for some reason when I don't want someone to be emotionally unavailable, I fall hard. There's that risk I want to take and find out from him he secretly has a crush for me too and we could make it work out, or I could get over this crush and have us just be friends and focus on looking for a guy who's bold enough to approach me and tell me he likes me and accept or reject him instead of wasting my time on someone who won't make any move at this point. And my mind again just thinks maybe he's not making a move to not ruin this friendship we share with our best friends.
No. 1745536
File: 1698719876545.jpeg (Spoiler Image,28.22 KB, 230x219, 9D402143-4B60-402E-AFEB-957542…)
>>1745517It’s a slang for TIF. And I agree with her they post ugly wojack art along with the term.
No. 1745681
File: 1698737431101.png (1.85 MB, 1168x1158, Screen Shot 2019-11-16 at 02.3…)
i am an actual diagnosed schizo, + ocd/bdd all that bullshit. my coworkers all say they have ocd autism anxiety body dysmorphia and they're so mentally ill. i'm having spergouts on instagram close friends about the CIA trafficking women and being an alien and now they don't interact with me (Fair). but it really shows how much of a fucking sham their mentuls are. they can function and i'm scratching up my face in the employee bathroom bc theres bugs in it how did i even get this job… yeah idk. what the point of this is.
No. 1745693
>>1745649How old are you?
Not everyone is a person who can't be alone. To have friends is important but you sound like the typical annoying "If you do not have a family and a big friend group you will be a unhappy old hag."
Let people be happy alone, jesus.
Op is mostly annoyed because there are many people coming that she does not like. No need to be so over the top dramatic and aggressive.
No. 1745701
File: 1698739619621.gif (539.48 KB, 500x333, yuriborg.gif)
a girl in one of my classes gave me her contacts to add when i told her she seemed cool she's a BM metalhead which i don't see often if at all irl anymore but it's been two weeks and we haven't exchanged a word kek. it's so awkward now, i was too nervous to say anything and it was nervewracking just sending her a follow request alone… she always views my posts first/within minutes so i don't know if she's silently judging me or something and realized i'm too lame for her kek.
if i see her tomorrow in person idk what to do or how to act. in reality i'll probably just be too nervous to say anything again because i don't know how to act chill about it plus i'm autistic. i did notice she had cute L stickers on her notebook so i'm hoping she doesn't find my behavior too strange and hates me kek. i just don't know how to approach or if it's better i just say something now online or something but i don't know what to say, or if she comes to our class today should i try to sit next to her ? at the same time i don't want to try to pass off as someone very sociable and "out there" because that's not who i am and i won't know how to keep it up if that makes sense. i haven't made a friend since middle school so i'm not sure how to go about it anymore, i know i sound like one right now but i'm well into uni kek i'm just a sperg
No. 1745706
>>1745675Personally I don't believe in "asexsuality", just eradicated libido… or acquired aversion to intimacy and affection, whether intentional or not. To still have romantic yearning but silence it and cope with stuff like your Bible passages about purity, like an anorexic clinging onto her proana Tumblr posts despite the hunger. She'll claim she's allergic to eating just as someone would claim asexuality, and wave the flag if it helps the ego.
You can be repelled by open discussion of sex and kinks without diagnosing yourself with something. That's everyone else being gross and oversharing.
Overall I've only seen deeply disturbed or autistic people claim asexuality. Sorry
No. 1745712
>>1745577So you keep flaking on your friend when theyve organized to hang with you, because you dont want to hang out.
Agreed to this time even though you dont want to.
Your friend has invited other people because you've flaked on them so many times, theyre probably sick of you ditching them when they made efforts and plans.
Theyre adding people so when you do flake as you have before they still have people to hang out with lol.
Make an effort going forward to initiate or you will lose your friend.
No. 1745745
>>1745742I really want to just shut the door sometimes but she'd explode and play the vicrim if I did that
I can already imagine the reaction
>I can't even EXIST in my own house!!!!!!!! you're unbearable to be around!!! it's like I can't do anything!!!!!!!! No. 1745746
>>1745675Sex repulsion instigated by religion isn't asexuality. Lack of experience causing you to lack a sex drive and sexual desire isn't asexuality. It often seems that anything but around the clock horniness counts as a form of "asexuality" and it prevents people from looking into the reasons why they might have a bad opinion on sex and how it ties to things like their self worth and body image.
Also holy shit I didn't expect to bump into christcucks on lolcow.
No. 1745787
>>1745761I hope so
>>1745776Its a huge chain and theyre auto emails, I doubt they would even bother reading any emails I would send. I assume its kind of a retard eliminator so hopefully just by doing the videos I'm more likely to get it.
I applied for 3 different positions with the same company, I hope they will hire me for the main one I was (shelf stocking at night, husband works nightshift so it works best for me). Guess we'll see. About to click the link for it now
No. 1745893
File: 1698761683244.jpg (46.03 KB, 640x640, Cat mood.jpg)
I had sleep paralysis that lasted so long (i didn't even realize it was sleep paralysis while it was happening, i thought i was awake which is weird because i usually realize what's going on) that I started trying to yell for help. Idk if I actually made any noise or not. It sucks that my sleep paralysis is starting to get longer. Is this what I get for trying to sleep in my bed for the first time in 2 weeks? And I didn't even really sleep. it was just a nap less than an hour.
No. 1746053
>>1746040Its honestly so fucking sad.
I truly think shes just kinda into girls and grew up as a bit of a tomboy but the whole trans thing just pushes teen girls/young women into thinking theyre boys because they dont like skirts etc.
I'm in a group chat for the family since my hubs doesnt have social media and it was very awkward when she announced she was a they/them and changing her name.
I'm making an effort to be supportive and using her name etc because I dont want to be the reason she avoids my husband.
She has talked about how intolerant people are of other different opinions but had cut my husband off for a year because of "transphobic" discussions they had (to which she agreed to most of btw) that happened 6 months before she actually cut him off.
I assume she talked to her retarded friends about my husband and they convinced her to ditch him. Its so cancerous.
My husband has told her during that talk where she cut him off that he doesnt have to agree with everything she says in order to love her, and that she knows where he is if/when shes ready to contact him again because he loves her unconditionally.
I just really hope when the reality of what shes done to her body hits she will turn to my husband not those friends.
I dont think she truly knows the lengths my husband would go for her. Her parents too.
No. 1746243
>>1746111Thank you
nonny, this was actually quite comforting. I guess if long-term relationships are supposed to feel ‘easy’ then it’s probably not the right guy if I become really anxious at the idea of having a guy in my life- even if I like him. I’m relieved to know I made the right decision. Talking to that guy made me realize how nice a relationship might be and now I’m more aware of how my life feels emptier. You’re right that dating someone I’m not attracted to isn’t the solution to that. I just worry that finding someone I get along with, who I am attracted to, and who is also attracted to me might be very difficult. I wish I knew a way to speed up the process.
No. 1746285
File: 1698781383974.jpg (61.24 KB, 777x567, 027da830.jpg)
Two of my friends are meeting each other for the first time tomorrow and I'm really nervous how it's going to turn out, they are pretty different from each other. What if they hate each other and it's going to be really awkward?? At least there's alcohol involved so that might make things more tolerable. Or worse, who knows.
No. 1746320
File: 1698783625171.jpeg (1.44 MB, 1170x1665, IMG_6774.jpeg)
I don’t feel bad for munchies with “long covid”
No. 1746327
File: 1698783871577.png (230.13 KB, 1024x849, 1681492994348602.png)
I fucking hate arguing constantly with my stupid scrote, like why is he allowed to generalize from his lived experiences but I can't from mine because I'm "just different from most girls"? Like yes I'm a probablyautistic tomboy but that doesn't mean I was immune to female socialization and don't even come at me with that "you choose to be offended" BS…
I suspect that all moids have some level of NPD like, how can they seriously lack self awareness to such a degree
>>1746090Based, I wish I was not OSA so fucking badly
It sucks so much being an OSA GNC woman
No. 1746337
>>1745887Turns out my cuzzy is the loveliest woman I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. I genuinely cant believe someone as bright, interesting and kind is a part of our awful extended family. The only negative thing I have to say is that meeting her made me feel like shit about being a reclusive retard with no friends and interesting hobbies besides browsing the internet.
I wish my dad wasn't such a human failure so I could've had a closer relationship with my cousins while growing up since we’re close in age
No. 1746379
>>1746377There is no milk
nonnie, just your run of the mill narc
No. 1746401
>>1746327>It sucks so much being an OSA GNC womanTell me about it. Sometimes it feels like everyone wants me to be a lesbian - the alternative, a straight butch woman, is just too aberrant and vile to them
I think about it all the time, people just (often wishfully) think I'm gay or closeted because my behavior and appearance aren't feminine enough. It feels straight up illegal to be attracted to men as a mannish woman, I get gaydens I really do
No. 1746404
>>1746394It's fun if you're into it. I love getting candy for kids, I love seeing their costumes. I enjoy their excitement and I love to decorate. This year I'm making cookies instead of buying candy, every kid will get a little baggie of homemade sugar cookies with a little card to tell their parents exactly what's in em. I don't judge anyone who doesn't enjoy Halloween, because the reasons you state are just as
valid as the reasons I love Halloween.
No. 1746667
>>1746542>My friend, whom I have been supporting through his breakup for the last 2 months, and secretely have been putting on makeup and straightening my hair everyday I see him, hoping he'd one day realize I'm good for him.. I introduced him to my sister, and in 2 days he fell in love with her.this is so pathetic
nonny. you've done yourself a disservice by hoping that engaging in beauty rituals will woo a guy you like. don't waste your time, you should've either asked him out or moved on. you should try to make some emotional distance now that he's into your sister too, you're causing yourself more pain.
No. 1746684
>>1746667I like to get to know people before dating them. I thought it was nice, that we were taking our time and getting to know each other.
I really supported him emotionally. Without afterthoughts, I mostly did it because he's a really good friend of mine.
I feel hurt and unappreciated though that after doing my absolute best to be good to someone, my pretty sister just has to come along and "bee herself" to steal them away in a minute. It blows my mind. My slow grind gets completely blown away by natural beauty. It really fucking sucks and I feel so awful right now.
No. 1746703
>>1746697Yup he told be
I made the mistake of telling him how hurt I was and now it's going to be awkward
And now I'm loosing sleep over remembering all the times people told me my sister is prettier, all the kids who told me face to face that I'm ugly, when I have to catch up on studying tomorrow!
No. 1746708
I remember when my friend's little sister in middle school told me "you.. you're ugly!" while we were at the restaurant
you know how they say kids only tell the truth
another kid told me I was a ugly about a year ago, to my face. "Youre kind of ugly!"
I told her that was mean and she apologized.
I remember running into my sister one day, while I was with a friend, who told me "Wow!! This is your sister?? She's so pretty!! How come she's so pretty and you look like.. you. Well, I'm sorry, but you know.."
I remember one day I told one of my guy friends "I was out with my sister, and a guy asked for my number!!" and he replied "he probably wanted to get to your sister through you because you're more accessible"
I remember one day, I was talking with a guy I really liked and I heard from a friend of mine that he asked him "why don't you date anonette?" and he replied "because she's ugly"
anyways, the secret that I'm ugly is not well kept. I just thought, everytime : "No they said this because my hair wasn't done.." "I wasn't looking good that day.." yadda yadda
The truth is, if I wasn't ugly, these details wouldn't matter
No. 1746709
>>1746703eeesh yeah spilling your beans is gonna haunt everyone if they get together, so hopefully they don't. You have my sympathy for being the ugly one of two sisters, i have always thanked the universe I don't have a sister to compare my ugly self to because it sounds hard as fuck.
>>1746708I've had similar experiences.
>with my friends in early high school and the homliest one goes, "just think, in a few years we could all glo up! Maybe even anon" totally genuinely without thinking before she spoke
>Got asked out by one kid who later was revealed to be purposely asking out the ugliest girls in school cuz he thought we'd e easy. Thankfully I did not agree to give him my number kek that must have stung for him
>Senior year, a time when I was dolling myself up the hardest, a group of popular girls come up to me randomly in english class and say "we just wanted to tell you that you're so pretty." Meaning that I'm not just passively ugly, but so extremely ugly that it counts as a pat-on-the-back good charitable deed of the day to give me a fake compliment. This one hurt the fucking worst out of all of them. No. 1746721
File: 1698808891321.jpeg (59.17 KB, 557x578, IMG_1782.jpeg)
my nigel is in the US on a work visa for over a year now and while i can understand what sag-aftra is trying to accomplish with the actor’s strike, i wish they would take into consideration the lives of thousands of post-production workers that are losing their livelihoods over the length of the strike at this point. having to potentially end a good 1.5 year relationship over this shit because he’s going to have to go back halfway across the world is making me a little sick, so i hope it ends up being worth it for whatever the industry is trying to accomplish at the moment
No. 1746722
>>1746709>Senior year, a time when I was dolling myself up the hardest, a group of popular girls come up to me randomly in english class and say "we just wanted to tell you that you're so pretty." Meaning that I'm not just passively ugly, but so extremely ugly that it counts as a pat-on-the-back good charitable deed of the day to give me a fake compliment. This one hurt the fucking worst out of all of them.How do you know they weren't being genuine?
Besides the one of the guy asking the ugliest girls out, they don't sound as bad and obvious
No. 1746730
>>1746722I can see why you'd say that from a text description alone. But If you could see what I look like (I've had a friend compare me to female stephen king kek), and you could see the look in their eyes and hear the tone of their voices, you'd understand exactly what was going on. They weren't very good actors.
I try not to resent them in my mind because I know they probably were too young and naive to understand why doing that is just more hurtful than helpful.
No. 1746746
> almost 30
> gets employed
> in extreme need of money to pay bills, so anything will do
> "finally, life has given me a second chance."
> 9 days later, gets fired; doesn't even receive a reason as to why
> no matter what, following your dreams = even less respect from people
> "You are too delicate to be XYZ. You should work with ABC, it's a better choice"
> therapy session days are almost over, but hasn't solved problems, nor found an answer to overcome said problems
> no motivation to invest in life's passion, neither in a sucessfull, zero risk carreer
> lost all friends
> still lives w/ parents
> alcohol to cope
I just wanna kill myself. I've been surviving since since I became 18. I can never be who I wanna be. I just wanna die, so that maybe my reincarnated self is more lucky and have a better life than mine.
I'm so tired of being treated as disposable flesh bag, or as weak and frail. Or worse, be rejected in some places for being a woman, bc it's alright if its men doing it, but women cannot, as they should only be housewives or work as recepcionists.
(My bad for ramble, im a bit drunk and tired)
No. 1746750
File: 1698812212473.jpeg (53.49 KB, 756x900, IMG_0502.jpeg)
i want to ask rich bf for monthly allowance cause im cute and cool and hate uni.
should I? i am kind of spoiled already. just dreading paying university
No. 1746791
File: 1698817821615.jpg (7.63 KB, 250x250, goddamnit.jpg)
Moid depression is so fucking scary .I'm seeing my father deep dive into it and all he does is to spend money on shit we don't need(a fucking ps5? When we can't even afford the games it has?? Or a fucking new car???) Or physically abuse us and let his moid rage on me and my siblings. my mother is almost on the brink of it I feel miserable looking at my mother so sad and defeated(she can't have a divorce sadly since it's looked as bad in our society we want her to leave him ) I want him to stop since this asshole intends to leave for America this year (alone ofcourse because fuck his kids and wife I guess) the least he could do is not destitute us before he leaves I'm so tired of being on eggshells all the time he choked me last time I spoke up, so now I try to avoid him he's so fucking retarded …but ill say this is the best experience to always remember don't marry moids and don't have kids..I'd rather die alone
No. 1746883
File: 1698827987214.png (926.51 KB, 1080x927, Screenshot_20230802_004011_Chr…)
Idk who to talk to about this but I wish I could get some advice on it.
in the past I was hit by a boyfriend on a few occasions, and one time he went very crazy and threatened to kill us while we were in a car. It never really hurt (far from being actually injured) and I wasn't really scared either, even in the extreme situation, and I ended up just not really thinking about it for over a year.
Nowadays it's something that frequently bothers me on and off. Sometimes I feel so upset and frustrated, and I feel like my life is permanently "stained" or "ruined" in a vague abstract sense. Sometimes I feel super disgusted towards myself even though I don't think it's my fault or anything for experiencing that. I just feel grossed out and it makes me feel weird because like, I wouldn't think it's shameful or a flaw if I knew another woman who was hurt by someone?
And I especially feel weird since… I wasn't hurt super bad, and it's almost like I'm upset mostly because I know it was a messed up abusive thing, rather than because of the actual event? I almost feel like if I believed it's just normal behavior I'd just think "well that sucked" and move on, but knowing that I technically went through domestic violence, and that I didn't deserve it, makes me feel sick.
I broke down a few days ago because I was reading a book that cited domestic violence stats and I just kept thinking "that's me, that's fcking me they're talking about, im one of those people"
It's really hard to describe my feelings on the topic and I flip flop a lot. Some days I'm totally fine…
No. 1747012
File: 1698839265208.jpg (29.54 KB, 564x558, 213f0951c72ed42f8efa91c40db4f7…)
My dad flashed me his porn again…usually it's ai generated stuff but this was real (anal sex) and I got really upset this time, he asked why I got upset and I said "because It's weird because your my dad" and I guess that wasn't a satisfying answer and so he brought up my csa past to guess that was the cause, I just choked up and said "I don't know" because I just wanted the conversation to be done with and he thankfully dropped it.
No. 1747027
>>1747012uhh what the fuck anon? What do you mean he "flash you" his porn? Like swung his phone screen to face you then back to him?
This is fucking creepy, tell other people in your family so they shame the fuck out of him and stops doing it
No. 1747029
File: 1698840673941.gif (862.27 KB, 400x400, IMG_3387.gif)
>>1746934Nonna keep your chin up, you are already enough. You have to value yourself before you can allow yourself to be truly loved, and you are already absolutely worthy of that.
Remember; a moid is just a moid. You cannot blame yourself for his faults or weird behavior, they are just retarded sometimes, there isn’t much you can do but keep yourself grounded. Spend some time in your own company but also in the company of friends and family, let them remind you why and how you are already loved. Do something, like a hobby, that you are good at or enjoy doing, let yourself be distracted by it, there are more things to life than this guy. Plus, with a little distance he’ll probably come crawling back to get your attention once again. Honestly, he probably doesn’t even realize what he’s doing, but either way you can’t beat yourself up about it, you deserve a lot better that that.
Don't change to be loved, be yourself and the right people will love you for who you are.
No. 1747090
File: 1698847057314.png (56.62 KB, 404x320, angeld.png)
>>1747012im hugging you anon
No. 1747133
File: 1698850397626.png (127.12 KB, 862x346, Screenshot 2023-11-01 at 10.52…)
>>1747125you can use brackets too but she used the wrong brackets
No. 1747143
File: 1698851275951.jpeg (785.03 KB, 3464x3464, IMG_6361.jpeg)
one awesome thing about growing up with a family that throws fights all the time is the drowning-out-the-noise coping mechanism is a skill learned for life once mastered. i'm in a different situation now and i'm making use of it again. i'm so emotionally detached i just don't give a fuck anymore or rather i can't. go ahead and damage your vocal chords and kill yourself about it i'm already mentally checked out i'm just not there. just don't involve me, leave me alone and out of it. only thing i feel is embarrassment living in the same apartment and associated with this loser ass testerical retard. it's humiliating and i can't do anything about it. i can't fucking stand manbabies. but whatever, i'm listening to britney spears and other 90s music and dancing in my room just like i used to as a kid. not to be corny but some things really never change
No. 1747163
>>1747149Go to the /meta/ board in the future if you forget, it’s in the OP of one of the threads there
>>>/meta/6821 . Also visit
https://lolcow.farm/rules and
https://lolcow.farm/info if you haven’t yet.
No. 1747342
File: 1698857385942.jpg (36.32 KB, 590x445, panda.jpg)
i feel like such a lame retard lately and i know me thinking this way and being insecure instead of owning it will only exacerbate the issue. i'm just really disgusted with myself as a person right now. i am so deeply uncool and cringeworthy in every way plus i am legitimately dumb as shit which really doesn't help. i hate being a sheltered autist
now that i attached picrel after i said all that i feel mean and cruel which is strangely making me feel better because i wouldn't want to say that about her kek
No. 1747554
>>1747532Now look what you've done,
nonnie.
No. 1747689
>>1747624You got swindled
nonny. Register your current car with your apartment and go through normal car dealers from now on.
No. 1747701
>>1747692Just say that your father hurt you when he didn't visit you in the hospital when you needed him and then just spout some bs how you would have liked anyone to visit you then when you needed them
your siblings in your time of need.
No. 1748035
File: 1698882769972.jpeg (59.84 KB, 720x404, 30bd29db506a095ad5e14f79ca2ca5…)
I keep telling myself that it's ok to be single rn because of the current dating scene. The last few dates i was on were mostly awful and I keep losing hope ill ever find a good partner. So I keep telling myself it's ok. Im ok alone. I need to be. And then I watch a tiktok where some girl whines about not having a bf and how she cries herself to sleep most nights. Then she says how being in a relationship is like a human necessity and all the comments say self love doesnt replace romantic love. And that people NEED romantic love. And now I just feel like i took a few steps back. Like maybe i should be unhappy and feel unnatural about being alone. Maybe im not doing enough rn just being by myself. Ill always feel unfulfilled without a romantic partner or something. But how is it possible to be happy with the moids out there? I just feel lost and i want their to be AI robot bfs already so I can just be delusional but happy with one of those instead.
No. 1748048
>>1748035Eh
nonny maybe re-adjust the content you consume.
Half of those people will probably end up in miserable relationships.
I knew an older lady that did the "romantic love doesn't replace self love" spiel. She got into a horrifically
abusive relationship and it took her a very long time to leave. She kept telling herself that this was her last chance. Also, in nature it was probably super rare for humans to get together romantically for years. It's mostly a social construct for two people to remain together for decades even if I find it cute. There's nothing evolutionarily that makes romantic love a necessity for people and the real reason that people act as if it's a need is because a lot of people are rapidly losing their ability to genuinely connect to others in other ways.
No. 1748049
>>1748035Why were the dates awful? As someone who never dated I'm curious. I've only been in "talking stages" that lasted for way too long, and because they lasted for so long, I got to see the polite mask fall off and the scroteisms reveal themselves before putting out.
But there's this TikTok that I keep thinking about. She said "You're either gonna have standards, or you're gonna have a man. You can't have both". And a lot of women talking about how having a man usually isn't a flex. That having a 20-30 year marriage isn't even a flex, it's most likely embarrassing. Because it means you've put up with an insane amount of shit for a long time.
No. 1748055
File: 1698884497667.jpeg (253.64 KB, 1200x900, IMG_3271.jpeg)
Lord give me the strength not to go off on this self-righteous hypocrite
No. 1748062
File: 1698885026698.jpg (41.35 KB, 750x655, 545645.jpg)
Crush and I confessed mutual feelings and we can't even act on them because it would create a conflict of interest at work and we'd get fired. Thought knowing he had mutual feelings would make me feel better but now I'm just bummed because neither of us are going to quit anytime soon and he's probably just going to lose interest. At least my ego is stroked knowing I could have pulled somebody way out of my league.
No. 1748077
File: 1698886343136.jpg (10.26 KB, 474x331, 1691031125941.jpg)
Is it wrong that I feel a bit weirded out by my 27 year-old jobless neet well he's not a complete neet, he does commissions brother having a new phone given to him by Mommy and Daddy instead buying one for himself? Like, he has money from doing art commissions so I wonder why he doesn't just buy a new one instead of telling our parents. Like, the older I get, the more strides I make towards independence, the more I feel weirded out by how…manchildish my older brothers are getting. It kind of makes me feel like I'm being a stuck-up asshole.
No. 1748078
>>1748035It 100% is OK to be single, absolutely don't compromise and don't continue to date someone because you're afraid of being alone. Did that once with a super shitty relationship and once I did leave it was 1000x better, people even said I looked healthier after.
A couple bad dates is honestly nothing once you realize that being alone is better than like 50% of it, just stay picky. I think I went on like 30 dates before I managed to find someone I was compatible enough to marry. Worked out great, just finding comfort in yourself and then refusing to settle for less than it will put you ahead of like 50% of people in relationships
No. 1748387
File: 1698900540100.jpeg (53.54 KB, 299x222, IMG_6859.jpeg)
Sometimes I really miss cable and the hours long advertisements that would play for products all night
No. 1748566
>>1748490Nona!! You don't realize how extremely young you are!!
Stop comparing yourself to others. I know it's hard, but know that most people really don't care what you've been doing and won't judge you for it.
But this is a sign that it's time to do something! Then you'll be 30 and regret not doing anything.. And you'll meet 25 year olds, who you'll find out were in the same situation as you and are now getting it together, and you'll regret not doing the same
Fighting nonna!!
No. 1748575
File: 1698922012119.gif (768.51 KB, 585x430, 1675646040785.gif)
>today
>find a chinese art account on twitter
>scroll
>they randomly posted gore of a dead cat
>some tranny account liked the post
i logged into twitter for the first time in forever to report it, but i'm kind of scared nothing will be done. i hate people so much.
No. 1748620
>>1747029nonna you have me weeping, I needed to hear all of that, thank you, I hope you find a $100 bill today and see the prettiest sunset
>>1746934This did cross my mind, but he had covid and said he didn't want me to catch it because then that's just another 2 weeks of one of us being sick and not being able to see each other.
No. 1748731
>>1748482I know because they said or posted the same thing to me or somewhere else. Something extremely specific in one place, not just me being schizo and seeing an anon who posts about a specific husbando or cow and thinking it’s my friend. I just found it amusing, felt like a sister solidarity thing that were both here, did not interact with the posts and just kept scrolling.
>>1748559Even knowing that someone lurks or posts here, you don’t know how frequently that is and on what boards or threads unless you’re told or spy on them. Someone can’t read every thread, it’s like finding a needle in a hay stack. The average person is really not that attentive to small details of other people, they’re looking more for things that remind them of themselves.
No. 1748754
>>1748730You don't have to. I gave up normal life for a career in research because I didn't want kids. It sucked breaking up with a man I really loved, but he wanted kids and a normal family while I didn't. Nobody can goad you into doing things you don't want to do, nor should you let them.
It's gonna be lonely not being a normie following the regular life script for sure, at least it is for me, but it is what it is and I'd rather be this than a mommy to some ungrateful middle class children and a wife to a moid who is going to have it easy by default because he has balls and I don't.
No. 1748765
>>1748701you get it. I'm so miserable and lonely here too the only fun feelings I can get is from alcohol
>>1748733Australia but my people are from Ireland and now I understand why they all fled to England and then Australia. fuck this shithole country and fuck all the horrible people here. Growing up in a high trust society and then moving to a low trust society is jarring. Never in my life have I seen people behave the way they do here. I've been told that I live in a terrible area and middle class Irish people are nice and normal but idk both my families were poor 3rd class citizens and they never behaved like these fucking animals. I give up on trying to be friendly to anyone all I get is spit in my face in return.
No. 1748775
File: 1698937230036.jpg (11.31 KB, 426x289, 80574070_174358283645557_54648…)
I'm so fucking exhausted and it's not even the fault of my studying, but I AM starting to lag behind because EVERY-FUCKING-ONE needs to use me as their personal therapist lately and I'm awful at telling anyone in need of support no. One of my best friends recently got cancer surgery and I haven't really been able to be there for her because of my studying and people either calling or spamming me at all hours for my "wise words" because I'm apparently the one they can count on always being right even when it's answers they don't wanna hear. I'm stretched so fucking thin and I'm about to become a wreck myself. It's ironic that it's my friends are the ones making me this tired and not my actual studies. I'm actually starting to get really mad thinking about it.
No. 1748778
File: 1698937295110.jpg (98.78 KB, 426x512, F93NHy3WwAAbFkS.jpg)
Black women have a higher murder perpetration rate than both white men and Asian men.(racebait)
No. 1748798
>>1748782He means he doesn't wanna marry you but you're the only option for now.
Wanna wait 15 years, anon?
No. 1748822
File: 1698939805553.jpeg (36.17 KB, 480x480, IMG_3640.jpeg)
Anyone else suicidal right now?
No. 1748826
>>1748754>It's gonna be lonely not being a normie following the regular life script for sureThat's part of the reason why I feel so torn. As a woman it's either follow your dreams or love and family (and maybe even friends).
Moids never have to make those decisions, they can be broke, trying to make it as an artist or whatever and at the same time still marry and impregnate some girl…
No. 1748827
>>1748775Reached out to some friends I'm in group chat with, sort of making a joke about it all just to get it out of my system and maybe get some supportive pat on my virtual shoulder. Nothing more.
But of course the guy went "uhm, you can't just fucking write in a chat with me about how YOU are stretched thin with studies" and chastised me for it. It was the last fucking straw that cracked the camel's back and I just started crying my eyes out.
No. 1748855
File: 1698942188130.jpeg (23.76 KB, 573x500, 1684185406901.jpeg)
I AM SO DEPRESSED.
I'm already on fucking mood stabilizers and if I wasn't I'd probably be cutting myself or worse.
I don't know what to do nonnies, I keep trying to distract myself with hobbies but it's not working.
I wish I lived in a tropical beach town, living in Canada sucks and I have a feeling the lack of sunlight is partially to blame. Just imagining myself splish splashing in the ocean to cope.
No. 1748885
>>1748843I know that I technically should feel grateful for at least living in a country in which I have a choice to do what I want in life - but what use is that if literally everybody around me either follows the exact same path or is seen as a miserable loser? As a woman over 25 all you're surrounded by is talk about bf/husband, wedding, baby. That's it, you can't escape.
I thought maybe I could come to turns with living a normal life if I stayed off the internet more but no, that would just be lying to myself. Recently I try to distract myself of those bad thoughts by reading tons of novels but hardly any of them don't have a couple in which the man cheats or who gets divorced or somebody being lonely or somebody having a terminal illness. I simply lost all hope of ever finding real happiness and feeling as carefree as I once was when I was young and dumb and delusional.
Life is simply shit and growing up you've been lied to believe that it's not.
No. 1748886
>>1748855Same
nonnie. It’s been raining for two weeks. I fantasize about meeting a really nice girl and we move together to a warm pacific island to be digital scumbags with 3 cats
No. 1748953
>>1748909anon, some people have jobs
and are poor at the same time
No. 1748974
>>1748955It's not a stable life if the only normal thing you managed to achieve is a job but you fail at that and at any other aspect of life, friends, family, a romantic life, a house and so on.
I'm no longer young, I only had that job for a month and a half but already got called in by my boss, very soon either they or I will end it, and after that I have absolutely nothing. So no reason to be mean or even feel jealous about it.
No. 1749010
>>1749004I had a lip piercing for about two weeks because eating food was such a fucking hassle. The flat back of the piercing would constantly hook on to my teeth when eating and fuck me it was after nearly ripping my face off whilst eating a sandwich I finally took the fucker out of my lip. Not worth it.
Toxic tears lip piercings look so gross to me
No. 1749057
File: 1698951235145.jpeg (333.22 KB, 465x579, 3D237C77-85AF-41A1-9CE1-2478B0…)
Some girl with like 2000 followers following my bf and she only follows 300 people
FUCK. MY. LIFE
I hate my whore mongering boyfriend and I’m sorry but I hate girls like that I know he’s the problem and I’m an internalized misogynist but fuck him AND fuck her. I don’t even know why she’s want anything to do with him he’s just so plain and got like 60 followers and she posted her Halloween costume and it is just lingerie and to top it all off they WERE TEXTING. We live together. I shouldn’t have to feel like I’m competing with some ethot this is actually ridiculous I wanna kill myself. I’m an idiot why did he do this to me? He’s only sorry cause he got caught I was using his phone to call cause I don’t have service and this girl texts him like “omg whattttt” and I told him “that chick said something” and he could tell I was sour cause I looked her up and saw the absolute titty and ass pics the grainy selfies in the dark like imskirby lite fml fml fml fml
No. 1749075
>>1749067Thank you
>>1749066I don’t know. I thought he was cool I got memed into liking him for his personality but it’s obviously shit
>>1749064Duh asshole, that’s why I’m venting about it.
>>1749059She is a whore tho. She posts her ass and titties and “cosplays” aka lingerie and wig. And ya I know following him isn’t a crime but texting him is weird like what does she even want, he maybe was subscribing to her onlyfans and paying to talk idk either way I’m fucked
No. 1749098
>>1749081I know I feel very stupid. Another thing was his family I got really attached to them. I just feel like I wasted a bunch of time. He is a little emo faggot and he’s like catnip to those sort of girls, I thought I was getting lucky
>>1749089>>1749084I will see if I can stay with family. But yeah I told him that it was a dealbreaker and I broke up with him and I wish I was cool about it like calmly dump his ass and pack up my shit but I freaked out and stormed off
No. 1749107
File: 1698952998187.png (2.36 MB, 1354x1231, Bun.png)
I drank way too much on Halloween. I was all alone, and that usually is what tends to happen. I feel really alienated from most of the other people in my life who're either in their 30's and have families or are like weirdo-repressed Christians who think wanting to date is a sin. How did people used to do this? My mom got on my case for drinking alone, but, like, is there anything else? Just be happy if you're a girl because guy friends fucking suck and most girls are usually scared to be alone with you unless you're dating. I dunno, I'm moving back in with family soon because I realized I don't have anything else in my life, so I'm hoping that doing that will help me not feel so cripplingly alone. I just wish there was some pill that could make me feel not alone so that I could focus on things that matter more instead of feeling like I'm wasting my 20's being a lonely sad sack.
No. 1749166
File: 1698955713564.jpg (298.27 KB, 600x387, slayers_reunion.jpg)
I was hit with a somewhat somber feeling during work when I was reminded that a convention I used to attend is coming up. It's been a few years since I last attended. The friends I used to hang out with either moved out of state or go with their boyfriends and such. Hell, there was even a year I met up with some /cgl/ friends, but I don't keep in touch with them either. Maybe in the future I'll go again with someone. Pic related is a random old cosplay photo I found online. I miss the homemade, rough look of cosplay back in the day. Maybe I'm not so bothered by it now that I'm writing it out, but I'm glad I was able to experience those memories.
No. 1749197
>>1749122They justify thinking that they deserve better in one way or another no matter how much you bring to the table. They don’t actually see women as entire human beings so when the inevitable flaw comes up they justify any and all reasons to get rid of you. Of course they’ll wait until the next thing is lined up before they do so. Or like
>>1749133 said even if you are wonderful they still see women as a tiered system to game and once they score a 7 then they’re just a few grinds away from a 9. You literally can never win with these types.
No. 1749320
File: 1698962204583.gif (2.91 MB, 275x275, 1673486916248.gif)
I feel so dirty wtf.
My friend and I invited some people from uni to our flat for a casual meeting including this one moid who we thought was alright. Everyone else ended up cancelling on us so he was the only person who arrived. It was awkward, he's an autist but jfc he turned out to be a misogynist kiwifag who casually name dropped an incel adjacent forum from our country that he frequents and talked about looksmaxing… We were so taken aback that we didn't react appropriately and told him to leave but instead sat there in shock. I feel so disgusting for letting him into our home and I feel guilty for not telling him what a loser he is and to gtfo. I told him looksmaxing is retarded and so is that forum but that's about it. He just changed the subject and it was awkward. I feel like such a pussy I was just so taken aback I didn't know what to do. I need to unlearn this shit, I was way too polite and nice to him and I feel so dirty now.
No. 1749328
>>1749154Honestly only weirdos or teenagers/incredibly immature men like fully shaved women. Every single man I've been with except for ONE prefered bush and said it's weird when it's naked.
However shouldn't care what men prefer anyway.
No. 1749361
>>1749328Same I never shave cause its less work, more comfy, and feels like I'm monkey. Every guy I've been with has either not mentioned it or complimented it. Love my fluff.
>>1749344I feel like the roastie thing is a 4chan phenomenon too. I was literally insecure about that until college when I started dating and no one seemed to care.
No. 1749366
File: 1698965045002.png (856.52 KB, 728x546, 8a39562e554240f1890ff7aee21c21…)
My body is in so much pain because I was sick for a week and couldn't exercise. I feel like the rusted Tin Man.
No. 1749377
>>1749328My tinfoil is that it's hair removal companies and porn companies who push the idea and meme impressionable men and women into internalizing it. I've only had one bf but he also loves my natural growth. Once I offhandedly suggested removing some of it and he was devastated kek
Also, shaving and waxing leave behind nasty cactus stubble or angry irritated bumps, I feel like people who prefer the bare look are only thinking about it in theory (e.g., porn addicts) and don't understand the practical ramifications
>>1749361>feels like I'm monkeyone reason i love my body hair is because it makes me feel like a wild feral creature. But I naturally have little body hair… just goes to show that the grass is always greener on the other side
No. 1749388
>>1749377correct, unless you have super tough skin a cute bush is better than red inflamed bumps and and big pores. At most, you can have 1 or 2 "good" days but then you just get weird sandpaper stubble and its all over again. I completely understand cleaning it up around the thighs and butt area though
>>1749372for lesbian relationships its better to trim/shave the labia while leaving hair on the pubic bone area since you have better access to the good stuff without getting crazy long hairs in your mouth
No. 1749390
>>1749328This is creepy because my
abusive ex would literally thank me for shaving mine completely bald, it was my first relationship too so I kept doing it. He was pornsick and really rapey. I love having a bush now.
No. 1749407
>>1749400>vellus hair/peach fuzz all over my bodyThat's normal. The abnormal are the women that shaves everything exepct the hair on one's head and eyebrows.
>they're trying to be "nice" about it and offered to help me shaveYou should offer to help them shave too since men apperantly are the only one allowed to have vellus hair
No. 1749408
>>1749308I feel this so hard. I already have a pit of dread in my stomach over the thought of visiting them over Christmas. The idea that some people actually look FORWARD to seeing their parents is completely alien to me. Every single time I visit, within less than 6 hours of me getting there, my mother screams and screams at me until her face is puffy and red because I apparently said something, did something, made the wrong face, had the wrong tone of voice, put a fucking cup in the cupboard incorrectly ("because they have a different system now!"), etc. And then they complain and wonder why I never go out of my way to visit.
I feel you on the "open conversation" thing, I get so jealous seeing other people just relax, talk, and joke around with their parents. It's like my parents are physically incapable of just chilling and talking and having an enjoyable conversation that isn't stiff and stilted, screaming, complaining, or full of backhanded remarks.
No. 1749442
>>1749423is it a financial thing or an emotional thing? Personally I was able to get out of an
abusive relationship
because I was sneaking out/dating until me and my new guy became more serious, then I had an apartment with him lined up and I ditchedsometimes it sucks but if you're codependent and retarded like me, it's best to have a safety net, plus if you know the relationship is failing there's nothing to lose
No. 1749448
>>1749328I prefer shaved because I don't like hair in my mouth. I won't demand it or anything, but I'm not going to lie and say I don't have a preference. I shave mine bald for the same reason, and also because it's itchy when it grows back in full.
I don't care about hair on anyone other than my gf and myself but people get really assblasted when it comes to my preferences yet it is totally fine for them to shit on me for wanting my own pussy shaved lol.
No. 1749463
>>1749423me too anon. 7 years here. our issue is i want to get married someday but he’s vehemently opposed and i love him a little less and less for stringing me along and acting like he wants a life with me.
i’m afraid (and it’s probably true) that even though i am incredibly invested in him and i know he deeply has love for me that i am just the easiest thing available. i’ve been so depressed because i’ve been killing myself in college trying to secure a future for us and he doesn’t even want it. bitter kek.
No. 1749514
>>1749463You should never work and stress to secure a future for a man lol. That literally turns them off and makes them ambivalent. Make them do the heavy lifting, figuring life out, making it work. They are built for labor and service.
All the money you make should go directly to yourself
No. 1749581
File: 1698986457438.png (312.65 KB, 755x409, chiaki.png)
I'm sick of having everything keeping me waiting on my toes. As of now there's at least 4 or 5 different things I'm waiting on to see how they develop and it's making me stressed as hell. The impatience is unbearable.
No. 1749672
>>1749669(I realise she may not want to do that if she's not an asshole)
Second job for her perhaps if it's not feasible for you? More hours where you work? Good luck
nonny No. 1749687
>>1749574Ntayrt but the first term that came to mind for me was
bukkake. Kek
No. 1749782
>>1749778Our place was nice and quiet until some dude moved in downstairs. He plays video games and yells all night like at 3/4am.
When he first moved in he had a party that lasted until 7:30am, I left a note in his mailbox and he stopped after that.
Randomly one night when my partner came home he mentioned that someone left him a note and if hes ever too loud to let him know.
I doubt he would take very kindly to the amount of times we would actually tell him.
A few months ago some crackhead as moved in below him, so two loud neighbors.
Our packages have been going missing ever since that person moved in.
The first guy actually complained to us yesterday about the bottom floor guy lmao, called him a crackhead and everything.
Sad to think how our peace has been disrupted by 2 dickheads.
We arent bothering about noise complaints because we're trying for a baby soon and they will have to deal with our baby crying at all nights once we do have one.
I cant wait for them to try and complain to us.
No. 1749887
File: 1699023642748.jpeg (166.67 KB, 1170x1093, IMG_1376.jpeg)
I hate it when I’m walking my dog on leash and we run into unleashed dogs and the owner’s like oh he’s friendly teehee. I don’t give a fuck!! he can be friendly on a leash jackass. It’d be one thing if we were in a big ass wooded area but I’m always walking him on paths and streets around cars and shit. My other dog got bit in the ass by my neighbour’s off leash dog while she was on a leash. And you know they’re not picking up their dog’s shit either. It’s also fucking stupid when it’s obvious I’m trying to avoid another dog on a walk and the other owner wants them to meet and say hi. I’m walking like 20 metres around you and you’re just letting it drag you towards me. Fuck off
No. 1749939
File: 1699026914733.jpg (37.26 KB, 636x358, 31141828-0-image-a-11_15955807…)
>>1749936Thank you kind nonna. I'll update here when I know the pairing
No. 1749944
File: 1699027251412.jpg (27.6 KB, 420x493, 1650454406635.jpg)
>>1749934Sending you some luck and positive thoughts.
No. 1749951
>>1749903I’ve been in there but I really don’t know who it is. I even thought damn maybe it’s me if I can’t think of anyone (I’ve been socially retarded enough to be annoying before) but if this is true
>>1749905 then it’s not even me.
No. 1749997
File: 1699029941384.png (86.76 KB, 220x275, 1675183759117.png)
I saw the disgusting image the tranny moid would post on the front page for the first time today. Beware, nonas. Bumping with cat.
No. 1749999
>>1749997Thank you
nonnie..
No. 1750011
File: 1699030307986.jpg (120.4 KB, 800x540, 1671134240380.jpg)
I'm posting another image for good measure because mentally ill pedo men should disappear. I like this image in particular.
No. 1750062
File: 1699032644247.png (165.27 KB, 637x358, image (2).png)
>>1750052I am so sorry
nonnie No. 1750145
>>1750120Check reviews, someone should have mentioned the stink by now if it’s been going on for so long. If not maybe an anonymous review that mentions it could somehow pop up, wink wink nudge nudge.
>>1750123Stop being their personal maid before it’s too late, they’re going to get used to it and by the looks of it are ramping up their expectations. The men in my family never had to clean up after themselves and now the women are stuck doing it all and you can’t even change their ways because it’s so ingrained in them now.
No. 1750147
>>1750131if i dont do it, it does not get done though.
>>1750141sadly i know my best friend is perfectly happy just living in the filth, i've come back from holidays to find mountains of dishes and an overflowing bin etc. my boyfriend will not tidy her stuff at all because he thinks she should just do it (as she should), so it relies on me to do all her work
>>1750136that's true to be fair, i do like things to be cleaned asap because i hate mess build up. BUT i have tried to have conversations about delegating cleaning duties etc and it's got to the point where my friend just ignores me or gets really mad that i've asked for things to change at all. i think im just trapped doing this stuff until i move away
No. 1750152
>>1750123>>1750147You might be right they'd live in filth but you should still abstain from cleaning up after them. Have you done a trial period of this longer than a holiday? Try three months. Literally don't touch anything that isn't yours or that you don't immediately need to use. Go ahead and tell them ahead of time, and discuss a chore wheel again if you want. This may or may not change them but it will definitely be good for you. You're not married, this situation is temporary, you can see a mess that isn't yours and walk past it I promise.
Also, tell your boyfriend to clean specific things that affect you both, like changing the bedsheets and cleaning up after shared meals – his whole attitude about not cleaning things that aren't his is retarded and entitled and you don't deserve that. He should notice you like clean things and do difficult things like secretly clean the oven and then show you as a surprise because he loves you and wouldn't want you to do a big dirty job like that. If he doesn't, dump him.
No. 1750628
It's very blackpilling to me, knowing how much easier my life would've been if I was with a guy in terms of finances, formalities, being able to rent an apartment instead of just one room and stuff like that. Being a lonely woman in my city is a constant struggle, women in relationships just have it easier with everything and I see it constantly. I'm also chronically ill, which makes it even harder for me. I feel envious of that material comfort they have but not of being with a man. I don't want to share my body and my space with a guy. It's so annoying. People also neg me telling me I should find a guy and it would've been easier for me since it's not easy and safe to live totally alone. I had to change my place 3 times until I finally found a home where the housemates are semi decent people, and not raging drug addicts or alcoholics or just very dirty and noisy types. But the entire struggle to get to that point, to a place where I can feel at least a little safe, kinda ruined me mentally. It's really hard to rent anything here. So I have to admit I do envy my female coworkers who were able to rent apartments with their boyfriends and live in the comfort of a bigger space, without sharing it with strangers. They openly admit they wouldn't be able to afford it if they were alone, one even said she admired me for being able to live totally alone. I hate this economy, I wish I could afford renting an entire place for myself
No. 1750671
>>1750240yeah leave him
nonnie, the face that he hasn’t planned anything and it’s only the 3rd date is very telling. be with someone who puts in effort for you. Maybe you can communicate to him, give him a little nudge to see if he will initiate but if he’s one of the “go with the flow” aka no plans, ditch the scrote.
No. 1750748
File: 1699066067239.jpeg (91.79 KB, 886x880, DAAD9BBA-465D-47E4-8B37-D7B5DC…)
So I got put on 50 mg topiramate aka topamax for migraines right? And it made me insanely aggressive. Constantly seething with anger. But I was denying that I was angry and just telling everyone else I’m fine and if I’m angry it’s normal levels of anger over normal things that would make anyone angry and not out of character. It was extremely out of character and all my friends and family were worried about me. I was also contacting all my abusive exes and trying to flirt with them and meet up with them even though my Nigel is a beautiful wonderful man whom I love and adore?! Then the dose got upped to 100mg and I went COMPLETELY psychotically insane. I’ve never experienced psychosis before. I thought the CIA was beaming thoughts into my brain and willing me to kill myself.
I took 22.5 grams of buproprion (aka Wellbutrin aka zyban) and spent two weeks in the hospital and a week in the ICU but somehow lived. My bf noticed me slurring when I came to bed (he was already asleep) and then noticed me spasming and saw that my mom had texted him that I’d said some pretty suicidal esque stuff and to keep an eye on me. He asked if I’d taken anything and I kept denying it and he’s like whatever you’re coming to the hospital anyway let’s go. I’m not even a big bitch. I don’t know how I survived. I truly thought I would die. I can’t believe a migraine med made me lose my mind.
But it keeps going. I thought I was doing better. But then I lose two friends that I’d been extremely close to for over 10 years and always had supported them with their mental health struggles. They said I clearly didn’t want to die and my attempt was manipulative and toxic. I guess because I’d been asking them to hang out and they kept saying they were busy? I get that, it had nothing to do with the cia telling me to die. Then they said I’m just avoiding accountability. It’s like they rehearsed it together. Such a blow man. So what did my dumbass do? Well my bf had smartly gotten rid of every last drop of alcohol in the house… except he forgot the gin in the freezer. So I started taking shots. Woke up the next morning and got into a petty fight with my Nigel over something that shouldn’t be such a big issue and I should just deal with. But no I made it a huge fight. Then drank all day. Woke up and was shitty to my Nigel about the same fight as the day before, he got shitty back (understandable) and said some things he didn’t mean. We do a couple errands and are still fighting in the car and I’m being an unreasonable bitch and he’s fed up with me.
When we get home what do I do? I take 5 shots of gin, 3000 mg of sertraline aka Zoloft that wasn’t supposed to be in my reach, 500 mg of hydroxyzine and 16 mg of zofran in an attempt to give myself serotonin syndrome as self harm (didn’t think this would kill me or cause lasting damage). I puked an hour later and felt horrific and told my bf and he got me some activated charcoal pills to take and I napped a bit, but woke up shaking bad and dizzy and tight chest. So we came up with a plan of what to tell them so I wouldn’t get put on a psychiatric hold, thank god it worked. I got a bag of fluids and my bloodwork showed no organ damage and I didn’t have a seizure and ekg and blood pressure were fine and no fever. Im mad at myself and I need to do better.
No. 1750762
File: 1699066453786.jpeg (132.19 KB, 1170x491, 3F2682A2-AD9D-4674-9907-70CF84…)
>>1750748Samefag. The problem is I’m worried the activated charcoal is causing an obstruction or perforation in my bowels. I have not pooped since 10/31 and took the charcoal and Zoloft cocktail on 11/1. I’m still quite shakey. I can’t stand up without getting dizzy and so light headed I have a headache. I’m short of breath while sitting and lying down but it’s worse standing up. I have shortness of breath and tightness in my chest and my abdomen is distended and slightly tender. Even if I do poop im going back to the ER when he gets off this evening. I refuse to be in a hospital alone due to my immense fear of being out on psychiatric hold and having my freedoms stripped away and being ripped away from my support system.
No. 1750780
File: 1699066831410.jpeg (52.7 KB, 1170x459, 3AB899F5-2AB5-4E18-A429-D320C9…)
>>1750762Samefagging again but I’ve tried coffee which usually works great for me, tried some senna tea which has never not worked but I took it last night and no dice, and have taken magnesium to try to move things along with rubbing my lower tummy. Nothing is working and I feel like I’m starting to feel worse n worse. I fucking hate trips to hospital I hate doctors I hate the smell and the beeps and the needles
Also all medication is locked away from me and all booze has been located and I even pointed out some my Nigel didn’t remember and we poured it down the drains. I’m dedicated to not risking my sanity with substances anymore.
No. 1750791
File: 1699067092923.png (623.73 KB, 1080x942, 01coo64c3gd61.png)
My female coworker who used to bully me for my autistic behavior told me that she overheard our male coworkers talking about me and wondering if I'm so shy because I'm a virgin (I am but that's none of their business) and she told me that she told them I used to take part in gangbangs. Is this supposed to be a joke? Should I suppose to laugh at this? She's fucking with my brain so hard that I don't even know if she actually told them that or if she's just fucking with me because she admitted a few times that she likes to see my confused face. At this point it just seems cruel and I don't understand it. Sometimes I wonder if she talks bullshit about me to other people behind my back. I'm so tired of being around her, she's like a energy vampire but other people like her a lot for some reason
No. 1750804
>>1750791what the fuck? she sounds genuinely horrible. im sorry
nonnie, i hate people like that.
No. 1750813
>>1750190dearest
nonnie,
im much younger so i hope my advice does not come across as naive or useless, but i would like to believe that in some regard, at our lowest points, many of us tend to or can feel as though we aren't doing enough or our best.
but the truth it seems we all disregard during those times is how draining depression can be, on top of responsibilities and other stressors. i dont know why a lot of us have the immediate response of beating ourselves up. childhood issues? the idea of tough love? whatever it may be, in my experience, it never seems to work. personally, i always find the most success in self-compassion even if it takes an incredible amount of patience.
you can think of it as delusional. or coddling yourself. but how much further have you gotten with positivity and kindness to yourself? gentleness, rest, recovery, etc.? id argue that very good things have come from the aforementioned vs. cruelty to yourself.
i suppose im not saying anything new, your conclusion is right and i want you to know that. it is okay to rest and recover and be "lazy" as you may feel you are being. but its necessary at any rate. you are not superhuman or a machine. dont discount what you have done well. i know it is easier to focus on the bad during these moments but you will get into gear again soon, just maybe not when you want it right now.
you do not want it to get worse, and as i see it, therefore, it wont. you wont be recovering or relaxing this way forever and even if you have those periods like anon said before, they will be balanced out with your go getter productive periods!
you deserve lots of love and gentleness. try to aim for one small thing to improve a day in times like this. thats more than enough.
best of luck
No. 1750829
File: 1699067948326.jpeg (34.41 KB, 750x339, 849B0FE3-9EEA-48E1-B370-2F737F…)
>>1750805
Yeah, in addition to making me into a fuming rage machine it also made my anxiety unbelievably insanely bad. And that was before upping the dose. Fucking crazy shit. I seriously don’t know how I still have functioning kidneys and liver. I’m seeing hepatology and nephrology and cardiology specialists because I’m concerned about my health and my pcp seems kinda clueless. Even though the hospital said I was medically cleared I checked my tests and labs and they are still pretty alarming especially my CK-MB level. The liver ultrasound I got showed a 1.1 cm lesion that is likely benign but could possibly be something that needs to be lasered off. This is my second time with rhabdomyolysis and acute kidney injury so and my total ck levels are still iffy so I want an expert to evaluate my situation. I don’t want to die and I don’t want to hurt myself anymore. I gotta do better and I’m gonna do better.
No. 1750834
>>1750628im sorry
nonnie. i dont want to give advice when you didnt ask, and relating to situations is how i can best give that advice so im sorry if this is unwarranted just disregard it.
i completely understand how you feel, but in a different way i suppose. i am grateful to have a wonderful boyfriend but he is worse off than i am financially. i used to feel that same envy initially, and it was mostly when i wasnt dealing with my issues properly or putting too much focus on the lives of others. and maybe you do not do this, sometimes its hard to not focus on those things anyway. i mention this because i just kept seeing these girls who had it ALL, and it was during a really financially stressful period of my life. i almost felt like, wow, i need to sell my body! those girls have it so much better! spoiled with no obligations or worries?!
but what can you do? you don't want those things, to give up comforts for a man to support you financially. there is always a trade off, grass is greener, etc. i find these cliches always seem to be true and our emotions make us forget that. is there something you can find to be grateful for in your own situation that those girls do not have? something youd have to give up if you traded lives with them?
No. 1750838
File: 1699068121657.jpeg (175.49 KB, 1290x1277, 24397229-7C13-47AD-AA07-49F66E…)
>>1750811I actually wasn’t taking the Wellbutrin at the time, I was on Zoloft and it had been working fine until I added in the topamax that fucked all my shit up. I hadn’t been on Wellbutrin for over a year, I just had a bottle with a shitload left in it that I found in a coat pocket and took as a sign to die.
No. 1750908
>>1750748>>1750874I'm so sorry you went through that, I hate those medicines. I was forced to be on a cocktail of different meds when I was younger and none of them helped me feel better but I had random negative side effects. I overdosed once or twice and had to drink charcoal in the hospital which was disgusting. To make matters worse, every time I expressed struggling with the meds, there'd always be a dozen people crawling out of the woodwork to talk over me about how much medication helps some people.
I hope you can find better luck with other paths! If it's any encouragement, I was in that kinda position years ago and it all seemed inescapable but I'm doing really good now.
No. 1750978
>>1750791Go to a manager or HR about this.
They will put her on good behavior and she will either stop, or you can report it again and she will be fired.
No. 1751450
File: 1699094117715.jpg (114.25 KB, 1080x2400, leavemealone.jpg)
I wish my ex would leave me the fuck alone.
I've told him to fuck off, Ive blocked him, he sends people to give me messages. Its been 3 years, I'm married, hes had a gf for the whole 3 years.
JUST STOP.
No. 1751629
File: 1699101205553.jpg (23.6 KB, 360x351, sadfatty.jpg)
30 years on this planet and i haven't fallen in love once, despite all the long-term relationships with moids ive been in. I feel like people half my age experience at least a first love. It makes me feel so fucking abnormal.
Why can't I? What's wrong with me
No. 1751639
>>1751629Get your hormones checked out nona, there could be an issue there
Also if you're on meds they could be causing it too.
No. 1751660
File: 1699102458677.jpeg (24.28 KB, 360x360, D894E0AB-523C-4EF2-8269-98ED59…)
i need to sets for myself from the codependent mess my life has become. it’s siphoning my life and soul away from me. i’m tired of being easy for other people. but it feels so good to be loved for once
No. 1751666
File: 1699102679644.gif (249.21 KB, 220x295, dog-triste.gif)
I left my abuser recently but remembered that I had a package being delivered to the apartment's address. I tried asking DHL if they could change it but was told no.
The apartment is a 2 hour drive away from where I took shelter.
I contacted the vendor for my "options" but I doubt there will be anything they can do now that it is en route and there's probably no chance they will send me another $150 worth of merch just because of my sob story.
No. 1751670
File: 1699102856334.jpg (148.17 KB, 1080x2400, leavemealone1.jpg)
>>1751562That isnt even the start of it man
>>1751641Every single one I tell, most go "oh shit sorry didnt know I dont even know him that well".
One said "yeah I know its funny" which is just pathetic
>>1751666Mark it as stolen and see how that goes.
No. 1751685
>>1751670zamn
nonny your ex is a fucking loser lmao is he dating someone new? I would definitely let her know how her bf is treating you.
No. 1751695
>>1751685He has been dating her for the full 3 years we've been broken up and hes stalked me for.
I cant find her social media, but even if I could I dont want to contact her because hes made some threats towards me before and theres enough doubt in my mind that he could actually follow through that I dont want to risk throwing fuel on the fire
No. 1751721
>>1751698His parents hate me and thats where he got his crazy from (mother) so I dont think it would help either. Apparently its not enough yet according to police. Every time I think its stopped it crops up again, I just hope this is the last time.
>>1751700The person who gives me heads-up seemed to think theyve gotten back together now. In a mean way I was hoping he would project his obsession on her.
>>1751708I only found out about it 6 months ago, when he made an alt account to talk to me for 3 months without me knowing.
I went to the police a few months ago and they said since I dont have proof of the beheading threat he made of me (someone sent that to me last year and I just figured he was pissed off with me still and just venting, not stalking me) that they have to wait until he either shows up or has a threat I can prove. They wouldnt even call him to tell him to fuck off.
I've blocked 2 phone numbers of his now, I've put off getting a new number because changing everything will be a pain in the ass and there was enough gap between him contacting me that I thought it was over.
I dont know where he works or lives so I cant contact them over it, I dont know the gfs socials so cant contact her, his parents are fucked and hated me anyway so they wouldnt help anyway. Apart from completely disappearing online there isnt much else to do until he threatens me.
I contacted one of his friends he sent to send me a message and asked them to please for his sake just get him to stop and the friend just screenshotted it to him without replying and ex had a meltdown over it.
I'm worried he will contact my husbands family to get a reaction out of me, and at this point I dont want them knowing about the situation of my ex because its embarrassing.
I'm also hoping if he texts and vents to my number now I'm hoping he lets something slip and I can take it to the police.
I'm reluctant to delete my discord because I have a popular crafting discord I made that I will have to get rid of/transfer ownership of but I could never talk in there again because he knows my writing style and could pick out a new account if I remake it (he has done this before to me).
I know that may sound silly but I've had 5 years worth of friendship/collaboration on it and it just makes me extremely sad to get rid of it entirely.
This is a vent thread, I'm venting, I do not like this obsession and I truly want him to move the fuck on for both of our sakes.
I have blocked him over and over, I've begged him to leave me alone. Its not as easy as just deleting all my social media (fb I use for my grandma, discord for friends) because he will find it if I remake it like he has before. Its very isolating to have to completely disappear because of him, I'm in a new town I have no friends here yet and the people I have on discord I know.
No. 1751725
>>1751721I'm also worried if I disappear completely he will come to my apartment since he tracked me down to a 2 block radius and knock on my door.
Which I guess is good for the cop situation but holy fuck I do not want him at my door.
I know they cant be broken down because my downstairs neighbor tried breaking down his own door because he forgot his keys, but no thank you to that. I keep oven cleaner next to my door now to spray in his face if he got in.
No. 1751736
>>1751727Its fine, I didnt give full context because I was just so frustrated when I posted the first screenshot. I just want him to leave me alone. I dont know if I should send him another text saying that or just let him continue to rant in my texts until he says something that the cops will take seriously. I think he gets drunk and texts then, his drinking was always an issue.
For context of his crazy mother, she pulled me aside at Christmas to sob and ugly cry about how his drinking had gotten so bad and that I need to help him stop, only to give him 2 1L bottles of rum and a gift card to a liquor store..
Like..???
>>1751728I would have to get him the first time because he would be able to beat me until I stop moving if I missed. I was worried it would just be used as a weapon against me where as the oven spray I can spray around in front of me so he would have to walk through it to get to me.
Yes I'm married but my husband cant do much. When we started dating my ex found and messaged him (thats how far the stalk went I should have known then fml) and their conversation was unproductive. What else could he really do? My husband wouldnt win a fight against my ex, my ex has put his dad through a wooden door while drunk. Apparently hes gotten fat now too. He is angry but doesnt want to make shit worse for me by messaging him and telling him to fuck off.
>>1751732This is a good idea. However according to the person who keeps me updated, the way he was able to get info/stalk me is through someone I'm in contact with. I've cut alot of contact already with people I thought were friends online because I have 0 way of knowing who it is besides the fact that its a girl. It could literally be the closest person I know for all I know, I've stopped talking about important stuff to everyone now and it sucks.
>>1751729Have a nice cup of tea
No. 1751743
>>1751738The person who lets me know whats happening doesnt get messaged everyday, its whenever hes in his mood and rants so I would have no way of knowing.
I've thought about faking a story but changing details and sending a different detail to each person and finding out that way, but thats assuming he would even tell the personwhotellsme the story.
Its just alot. I think maybe I transfer ownership and just fuck off for a few months maybe.
But then it goes back to what if he contacts hubs sister or parents and then I have to explain everything. I love my hubs family I dont want them to think I'm a fucking idiot for having had dated this dude who turned out to be crazy.
Rationally I know they wont think poorly on me, just on him. But still its super embarrassing.
Hubs and I have come close to telling his little sister a few times, because ex sent me a picture of hubs sister he found in some random newspaper back when covid happened, but the image link was from discord meaning he had shared her face to someone or some server.
She has alot going on so we havent yet. Maybe its worth the conversation idk, I dont have siblings so I dont know how much to involve her.
No. 1751750
>>1751747I dont know the extent, do I just say in passing "hey I have a weird ex, 4 months ago he sent me a picture of you from the paper that I assume was to freak me out just so you know" ?
Or should I jump into everything?
No. 1751775
File: 1699110553657.jpeg (70.97 KB, 623x939, 3FB814F8-0228-4449-B339-D80610…)
>>1750748>>1750762I went to the ER and I’m literally fine they ran a litany of tests and did a bunch of scans and nothing is wrong with me. They were also super insanely nice to me and gave me morphine for my pain so I’m chillin at home and feelin nice. Fixing to go to bed nonnas have a blessed day
No. 1751780
I DON'T FUCKING KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH KIDS, OKAY
my partners kid is smart if she wants to be, but can be an absolute nightmare. I have no experience with kids, except being an aunt and oldest cousin..
Kid doesn't listen to me at all, even at my house. I don't set ultimatums, I don't get loud,i just explain shit and why.. But I'm a 100% sure she does shit on purpose by now. She's just upset when she gets called out.
Wanted to get work done in the yard, nah, she's hungry right now. Carottes until dinner? No she refuses. Maybe an egg in these trying times? Nope.
Now she was moping because she didn't listen to me when I said to put on her coat and shoes when coming outside. Nope, she won't. Then she got pissy and all, and my partner turned off the TV. Now she's been fake crying in her room for half an hour. I'm literally hiding in the bathroom. Yes, yes I should talk to her. I did in the past, but she's really just pushing what she can get away with and I'm sick of it. I don't want to raise my voice just because she refuses to listen to me. I won't yell at her, I try and listen..
But im just so fucking done with her and yes, I know she's a 6 Yr old kid but fucking hell. When it means no tablet or TV, she always listens. To my partner in general too. Just not to me.
What the fuck do I do
No. 1751832
>>1751780I work a customer-facing job giving out supplies and uniforms for the company. For the most part, people aren’t rude. However, yesterday, I had these stupid moids come by, repeatedly, all day long, acting rude and even raising their voices towards me and my coworker. The little shits even brought their supervisors around, because they weren’t satisfied with what they got and kept claiming to be “missing items”, which was not our fault because months ago we TOLD their supervisors they needed to order supplies for their division and they neglected to do so. We pieced together what we could for these 5+ asshole moids. At one point, we were trying to help someone else, and here comes these shitheads to the counter again. I told their supervisor that we were busy at the moment helping someone else, and that we would get back to them. With rude ass attitude he says “My guys have been waiting all day to get their stuff, we should be priority” (Again, we gave them what we had…) and then he said he could “hElP” when he and others have already rummaged through our back room. I told him no we’re fine and that I’ll tell my coworker he was there. After that, he wouldn’t even look at me, and kept making these off-hand comments. “Bangs, bangs, bangs”, not sure if that was an insult or not. I was very curt when he asked questions, and when the other person who was pushed to the side said “It’s okay, I don’t mind waiting”, I said “Well at least someone here is patient”. The whole thing was a mess and I hate idiot moids that think they can talk down to people and run them over. According to my coworker, these same asswipes were an issue in the past, but when she complained about them, nothing was done. The whole time, my boss was not supportive, and actively avoided us.
Long vent, but I had to get it off my chest. And I know it’s over, but my anxious self is still feeling sick to my stomach over everything and I couldn’t sleep. They’re likely going to be back on Monday, since one of the members didn’t get their stuff because he didn’t show up. My coworker took off on Monday and honestly, I’m thinking of just calling in sick and not showing up either. My boss can deal with their bullshit. Screw them. I want to punch them all in the face. How do I stop feeling so anxious?
No. 1751837
>>1750602You're right anon, I'm just sad because a decade seems like so much time but it flew by so quickly and I feel like I've barely grown as a person. I don't even really know what I want anymore. To just be content, I guess. I should be grateful that I don't have a worse condition ailing me like cancer but this pain is no fun either. It's going to take months for my body to heal and probably even longer to get over the anxiety that led to the damage in the first place. I'll try my best to move forward, thank you anon.
>>1750813Thank you my sweet nona. Self-compassion is something I struggle with a lot. I am very cruel to myself and my own worst enemy. I am an artist yet I feel anything I create is complete garbage despite my customers and clients. I can't grow if I don't stop this pattern of thinking. It's really hard, I've had self-esteem issues since I was very young so it's tough to break the cycle. Thank you again for your words anon and I hope you have a life as sweet as the words you offered me.
No. 1751914
>>1751780I'm not a parent so take with a grain of salt but whenever I was unreasonably upset my mom sent me to my room and I wasn't allowed to come out until I was ready to play nice again. Maybe you can do the same. Agreed with
>>1751814 though. From the little context provided here it sounds like the kid might be taking an unreasonable amount of time and energy from you?
No. 1752012
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My bf and I broke up on Halloween.
We were together only for 3 months but I really wanted it to work. I may have gone a bit too fast, sure. I asked for sex on the third date, but I figured it was okay because he had fucked other girls before and he was my first.
I thought I could be strong enough to handle the sex and not get too attached but my stupid ass is still laying in bed thinking about him. And I'm torturing myself by watching porn and hentai, already missing the feeling of being touched and kissed by someone. I hate loneliness, I was never meant to thrive being single. I've always meant to thrive in a relationship, why does the world curse me this way?
No. 1752021
I've been unemployed and broke for a while. I skip meals most of the time and I have lost a lot of weight so none of my clothes fit me properly anymore, and on top of that they are ragged, worn out and have holes in them since I haven't been able to buy myself new clothes in ages. I look so fucking haggard. My hair has grown out from a nice short cut I had two years ago, but since I can't afford hair appointments it keeps growing at different lengths, and lack of good hair products has made it stiff and unruly. My skin is pale and pasty. A friend accidentally sat on my glasses so now they're sitting a bit wonky on my face due to being bent. I only have one pair of ugly shoes. This really seems to affect me in job interviews because I can't make myself look decent, and looking at myself I just feel so awful, like on top of everything else it's especially sad to see old pictures from me when I used to have a job and a decent income, where I took care of myself, worked out, ate nice meals and kept my hair in good shape. It's one thing being broke and not able to afford anything, but to see the results of that every time I look in the mirror makes it so much worse. The fact that this probably affects me in job interviews as well sucks too, because I can't present as professionally as I'd like to. Instead they see someone who looks sickly and gross, with thinning, crunchy hair and baggy clothes. I just want to scream. I just wish things would change. I just want a some fucking money again.
No. 1752050
>>1752034It gave you a weird vibe cause that
is weird… You dodged a bullet anon, that's literally crazy.
No. 1752076
File: 1699125265200.png (247.03 KB, 500x411, acceptingdeath.png)
I was given anti-depressants that I haven't been taking. Thought about taking them now only because I've been seriously considering suicide more often and figured I should at least try the pills before that. Only to find out that one of the side effects is possible weight gain, which my doctor never even mentioned.
No. 1752160
>>1752104>>1752150>>1752100>>1752148My husband saying "stay away from her" won't do shit, my ex would double down harder.
Husband saying "stay away from her or else" would be used against me if/when it escalates because it's engaging and antagonising him and the threat. Seeing as police told me not to contact him and once there is a threat made then they can act, you can see why if we threaten him it could be turned back on us despite him being the one harassing.
You see videos and hear stories all the time of how the person who's pushed into a reaction being the one charged. Beating him up assuming hubs would win will just result in my husband being charged. Especially with exs psycho mother, she would stop at nothing because her precious son could never be in the wrong.
If you all seriously think threatening him or beating him up wouldn't result in a more negative outcome for me then you're just delusional.
He thrives off attention, if my husband messaged just to tell him to fuck off he will try to get conversation out of him.
He's said my husband and him are "destined to goon together"??
You're all operating as if he's just a bit of a cunt, he's literally developing schizophrenia and I'm his obsession. Any reaction is a good one for him. Fuck if he found these posts he would just thrive off it. His hallucinations are getting worse, he's jumped onto traffic to get away from one. Contacting him will not end well.
No. 1752220
>>1752215She's likely mourning the mom she never had. When they're dead and can't prove to your friend how god awful they are, it's easier to be delusional about parental abuse. To the kid it's often not that black and white, the parent can literally be a monster but if there's one single moment where they act remotely normal, it makes
victims doubt their abuse or even cling to that moment.
You sound like a kind person and it makes sense that you're confused about this weird behaviour. But your friend is probably just coping hardcore and there's not a lot you can do about it.
No. 1752223
>>1752215It’s very weird but not uncommon. Give her a loooot of space, this is just the last phase of the psychosis of having a really
abusive parent for some people. At least her mom can’t hurt her anymore.
If she really loses it and starts saying she wants to raise her kids the same way, then you can slap her lol
No. 1752229
>>1752215Neither of you are really wrong here. Unfortunately, abuse and how a
victim may feel about it is a very complicated and tricky subject, and I guess it can be confusing for people who are watching from the sidelines. You hate them but you still have a connection to that person, especially if she's been told the "blood is thicker than water" stuff. As someone who also had an
abusive mother that I hate and don't/seldomly speak to anymore, I would probably also be sad and cry if I found out she passed.
No. 1752245
>>1752215I have a similiar situation with my father with whom I had a bad relationship (though not physically
abusive). When he passed away, suddenly lots of people, even my own mom, started telling all sorts of stories putting him in a good light and complimenting his 'caring character' making me doubt myself and the relationship we had. Even though I personally lived through his emotional abuse and his clear incapability of being a father and husband. On top of that the finality of no longer being able to fix things with your parent made things really confusing and you start remembering the small good things and wondering "what if, what if he tried to reach out and I ignored it". Your friend may be going through something similiar.
The finality of everything is painful and confusing and I'm sure for her the trauma makes that tenfold worse.
>am I being an asshole for judging her about this? Kinda yes. Emotional and physical abuse damages one's development and mental health, you're basically judging someone with a broken leg for not being able to walk. Someone like her can't think clearly like a normal person, give her space.