/ot/ - off-topic

if god exists he’s a fucking sociopath.

>>1555653
Doesn't contradict the sociopathy

>>1555655
she probably created the universe and then skedaddled

How can I quit lolcow to salvage my spirituality? This place is like crack and it constantly ruins my mood

>>1555663
Anon you can't run away from yourself… spirituality comes first, then you're just enlightened and don't care so there's no need to quit.

>>1555655
kek

>>1555663
Find something else to distract you to hyperfixate on warning: it may ruin your life more than lolcow

>>1555663
idk about quitting nonnie but for me what helps is ambient music or like those ASMR ambience videos because it helps me read or pray. i try at the very least to say a few prayers when i wake up and when i go to sleep while also trying to be mindful during the day

>>1555628
I grew up as a Christian and I still consider myself one but hate a lot of stuff people do "in the name of religion". When I was a child I also had this surprising idea that in the future maybe I should try out all possible religions or learn as much about them all to see which are the closest to truth.
I believe in afterlife, I'd prefer to spend that time with a certain person from the past I feel drawn to rather with my family though. My family is awful and they traumatised me through the childhood (nothing connected to religion though, just emotional abuse).
I'm very interested in learning about religions, mythologies and so on. I like to investigate motifs and beliefs. I feel like there's a lot of stuff people aren't aware of or got it wrong. And still like that in that idea from childhood I mentioned, I believe a lot of religions/spirituality systems have some valuable things in them hidden.
Dreams are very important to me and I had some weird experiences associated with them. Premonition dreams, learning about things from the past I didn't know of (they turned out to be real). I have lucid dreams sometimes too and I like reading on this topic although I don't really train to have these, I enjoy non-lucid dreams too and don't feel like pursing LDs at all costs.
There were times when I wondered about solipsism-like models of the world. Sometimes I just feel as if I wish that after death I could go to some happier places and situations I know from dreams.
It's crazy and I won't share details but this person I feel drawn to, I had some synchronicities in life related to that person and really want to meet after death. We are so similar and I think I could find a happier life with someone like that.

>>1558257
sage for replying to my post, I'd share some ideas I had about it all, maybe someone could relate:
>reincarnation is possible but not compulsory; some souls might choose to move on or they might choose to reincarnate to change something or do what they want to; alternatively they reincarnate until they learn something or become better, being ordered by someone but idk
>there can be an individual heaven, an afterlife existence related to anything someone considers the best and most comforting
>there is one God/Source and various deities from religions all around the world and spirits might be just manifestations of this one being or some beings that work for the highest one; there can be more cooperation than people think or more conflicts
>there can be different realities existing due to ideas about them appearing; they might exist at some point on another level or cease to exist if they're not needed; this is like a dream
>everyone is a sort of universe meaning their can be less or more unconscious figures within us, a world of imagination or something more; for some it's merely like a psychological tool but maybe if someone wishes it can be a bit more substantial help in the inner world, to interact with these inner figures (which are ultimately parts of one's self)
>maybe the God/highest being is also someone who has all these inner figures and we are all in the imagination of that being
>dreams can be used to recall super deep memories but I don't mean it on some "satanic panic" mumbo-jumbo way, based on my experiences dream can help to relive some moments of our lives or see what they could be like to us (for example I went to places I was in years ago) or recall things we heard of but it was so long time ago we don't remember or barely remember (I recalled a title of book series I heard of over 10 years ago and haven't heard of again)
>I believe in the possibility of telepathy, maybe not to that extent to have detailed dialogues with someone but to sort of be connected and think of same images, emotions, etc.
>in one if the theories all souls might serve as a matter for the "structure" of God/highest being; this being would have both some individual meta-mind but possibly all individuals might act on their own if needed
>humans aren't the only creatures that have souls, animals do have these for sure (and I believe you can be with your pets in Heaven/afterlife)

i grew up catholic and went to Sunday school and did my communion and eventually i stopped going to church cause that shits boring

The rest of my years are spent between atheism and occultism until i had a brain problem and had to go to the psych ward cause i got too deep into the occult.

Now i dont really know what to believe

I believe in the soul and consequently soul sickness. Same with God versus Godlessness. I.e. when I was in awful jobs, awful relationships, addicted to various thing, I felt sick in my soul and far from spirituality, a "godless" way of living. I found ways to get better and live better and no longer feel so godless even though I'm not religious now per se. I also believe in an afterlife and Samsara. I can't really adequately summarize my beliefs internally let alone outloud but that's the essance of it.