File: 1696551701418.jpeg (995.93 KB, 1170x1424, IMG_5269.jpeg)
No. 1717410
File: 1696552371299.jpg (40.7 KB, 236x393, m8.jpg)
i feel like ill always be stuck in this battle of "getting better" it seems like nothing helps long term, no medication is ever the right fit, therapy just stops working. i feel dull aside from the time things come to a head and i erupt in tears. i just broke up with my boyfriend impulsively because although i love him i dont want him to deal with me or witness my declining mental health. my grades are dopping in university, i stopped caring. i dont like myself, i dont care or see a future, it is just pointless. and yet ive been CONSISTENTLY doing everything right for once. im sober. i go to therapy. i take my medicine at the right time each night. i eat healthy 90% of the time, sleep well, exercise a decent amount…but yet i just feel so lost. im so tired because its a constant loop of trying to fix myself and failing. i hate myself. i feel like such a burden. i feel so alone, too, and i cant even be a good friend anyway because i forget to respond to others. i have nobody in real life anyway. i feel like im purposeless and thats okay. i dont want pity. i dont want someone to say they understand or love me, even if it is kind and im thankful fo that. i just wish theyd understand and maybe accept that life is not for me. i dontwant anyone to waste their time on me. when i was little i just wanted to love and help others, now i want nothing to do with the world. i just want to drop out, quitmy job, but thered be no point doing that and making life worse. would need to kill myself. im tired of these suicidal plans every fucking month. the medication was supposed to help. therapy was supposed to help. how is this different than being unmedicated? without therapy? im scared to go off of it cold turkey. im also just sick and tired of holding on to this sick game that repeats itself. im fucking failing school and cant even do he bare minimum. i am not happy. i feel so alone. i feel so lost and sick.
i hate to sound selfish to my mother and i guess now ex boyfriend, or the friends i struggle to talk to often but i really wish something would kill me. i just want to go away and not fail, or upset anyone or be called selfish. i try to be selfless and understand maybe i can do more in this world and that is my purpose. but is it worth it to suffer ands truggle just to possibly help one person? i dont know. maybe that makes me evil.
No. 1717419
File: 1696552913638.jpeg (194.26 KB, 1368x2048, IMG_5380.jpeg)
I hate being broke I want chicken
No. 1717432
File: 1696553675233.jpeg (799.72 KB, 1242x1226, E9DCEEC2-B660-4A07-BAE2-8E7B59…)
>>1717396I hate my body. I used to be underweight when 'thicc' was in and now lucky me, my SSRI made me slightly overweight by the time skinny got back in style!!!!! I hate my life!!! But half of me is like, yeah fuck these trends they are only here to divide us and make us hate each other. I hate that it's working in me nd now every time I see someone who is skinny I get mad upset just like I did in 2017 when I saw curvy girls. I hate this gay earth and I hate myself. I'm a jealous piece of shit.
No. 1717442
File: 1696554325277.jpeg (78.46 KB, 760x922, 2BE56004-7B51-408B-A758-1FE7A5…)
I slipped up and said the tard word around my woke friends today. I was telling them about how my middle school used to hire these people to follow me around so I wouldn’t get distracted because I have ADHD and everyone called them the “tard wranglers”
No. 1717452
File: 1696554892557.jpg (10.06 KB, 225x225, 1681827445910.jpg)
just remembered when i found my cousins twt account and he was following a bunch of gross hentai accounts. moids…
No. 1717528
>>1717512Why do you think you’re depressed,
nonnie? Do you think it’s a chemical imbalance thing or just the state of the world in general kind of thing?
No. 1717529
File: 1696559942200.png (770.53 KB, 929x842, bored.png)
i am so bored, everything is so boring, there is nothing to look forward to, everything i liked has been ruined, i cant form meaningful relationships because of irony poisoning, i hate everything, i just want to love, be loved, and have fun
No. 1717556
File: 1696562047722.jpeg (104.36 KB, 1000x1500, IMG_5384.jpeg)
I wanna make orego moon cakes but i’m scared they’ll be nasty
No. 1717559
>>1717546Romantic relationships definitely don’t solve everything. What’s your social life like? Do you get out of the house much? Therapy
can help depending on the therapist, but you’ve kind of got to meet it halfway. Things like time with your friends, exercise, and hobbies can also go a long way. Unfortunately it’s never a silver bullet, but the combination of several things together. I hope you do give therapy a try and that things get better for you.
No. 1717650
File: 1696572568187.jpg (402.6 KB, 1920x1920, d6620528a643216d35f671fcdd287f…)
subscribed to the local lgbt newsletter
>trans healthcare conference
>trans parent group
>christian group
>raw translation of "queer" from english
>more tranny shit
>intersectionality!!
i just wanna meet some fellow pussy eaters god damn…
No. 1717680
File: 1696579430870.jpg (12.14 KB, 240x210, 1644528470187.jpg)
I genuinely have no idea how people can be happy nowadays. It feels like the world is on a quest to suck the joy out of everything. These past 3 years have been filled by pure shit(corona,NFTs,AI,war,Transhit,Tiktok) I am scared of the future because I know things will only get worse. I will never be able to have a house, a good career, hell, even a boyfriend who isn't a porn addict is out of question. I envy people who live in willful ignorance.
No. 1717714
File: 1696585543898.jpg (63.7 KB, 736x490, 8b541afcb4a1984f619b66fdb578be…)
Now I know it may be the result of prolonged depression, vitamin deficiencies and generally shitty weather, but even when I was severely suicidal, I had the drive to keep up with my hobbies, gym and things I enjoy.
I now feel drained from my workplace too. Even though it's a 9-5, the only thing i do when I get home is to doomscroll and sleep and then I wake up in the night and can't sleep, I wake up tired in the morning and rinse and repeat. I basically have to drag my body to this job, can't wake up early and it has shit pay on top of working 6/7 days, which normally is illegal where I live.
I hate how I'm that pathetic, I can't even get up to get my laptop to watch some movie, just tiktok and insta reels doomscrolling is the only thing I do and meeting friends once/week in the best case scenario since I am too tired and they also live pretty far away. My room is a whole mess too, can't bring myself to clean up my wardrobe or preparing an outfit for the next day and as a result, I just wear whatever.
I just want a month off, so I can do whatever I want for 2 weeks and sleep away the other 2. I can't wait to start uni again tho, gives me a good reason to get out of bed. On one hand, I am and should be grateful to be where I am today, but on the other hand, I want things to get a bit better and have some time to recover both physically and mentally.
So, nonnas, do you have any viable advice regarding extreme fatigue? The advice thread isn't as active as this one and I do need some help, thank you.
No. 1717786
File: 1696593483288.jpg (17.12 KB, 370x370, sad barney.jpg)
ugh now you can't even use /g/ anymore without possible troon accusations because some moid tainted one thread. there's nowhere else i can talk about my weird crushes and husbandos without encountering annoying tumblr gendies
No. 1717799
i could really use some support right now if anyone is free. I saved up, travelled, and finally arrive to my aunts, and the house is hoarded…. Like bad hoarded. On top of that my mom has threatened to show up unannounced, even though I have gone no contact for many years. Like, I will call the police and file a restraining order the next time she “pops” up.
My sweet aunt is hoarding, has caretaking burnout for our dying grandma. And her husband moved out right after the kids moved out. A case of empty nest gone so far past ok.
I dont know what to do. i have a breakdown backhome if my house gets cluttered, or if I see dust accumulating.
I dont want to overstep but its obvious there are problems she needs help with. She deserves support and help in so many ways. Maybe I should offer to come back for a week of sorting and cleaning? Or, would that upset her?
Theres also this terrible realization that every woman in my family is mentally ill. I hardly feel like vacationing and I just want to go home and get pysch evaluated, to stop this pattern of destruction.
I feel like I have let my aunt down, i feel like i am broken too. I am in a hoarders nest and I really need a nonna to tell me its going to be ok
No. 1717817
>>1717799Aw
nonnie that is so, so stressful. Im so sorry. I help my nigels grandma try to organize her hoard once a week a couple of hours. Its indescribable how bad it is. She got pantry moths so bad it was like a biblical plague. Took out 6 or 7 full trash bags of half used flour, rice, open boxes of grains, etc. I am sure theres more. I say that to say hoarding is absolutely no joke. It sucks the life out of you in that environment if you arent the one actively hoarding, and its heartbreaking to see. I just want to extend my deepest and most heartfelt empathy. All I can really say is maybe it will help to try and set up a place in the room youre staying in to be your small organized santuary, like make sure the bed is clean and free of clutter and take over a nightstand to place your things/keep them organized. Its a hard situation. Its going to be okay though. You have a plan in place for if your mom shows up. Right now she isnt there, so you can dismiss that thought of 'what if', because you already know what to do, 'if when'. Take good walks outside and breathe fresh air real deep and try to hang onto that when you have to go back inside. Visit with your aunt, and be with her. Take a pause, breathe, and take one step at a time. Id suggest not trying to fix anything just yet, let your brain recover from the shock for a bit. Its going to be okay. Reducing the situation in your head to 'there is a lot of stuff in the house' instead of 'mental illness, heartbreak, instability, depression, i have to fix this asap, etc' might help keep your mind calmer too and help sort out what may or may not need to be done. Youre there temporarily and wont be in that environment forever. One step at a time. Solutions usually come in time. Things will be alright. Take care of yourself. Wishing you the best and hoping you and your aunt find peace.
No. 1717824
>>1717817As i lay crying in a hoarded room(with a sliver of a nightstand), I just want to tell you thank you, I appreciate you talking me through this.
I am going to the gym and showering there after; hopefully that can help. I feel so overwhelmed but I am ss your reply to hold on to and re read when i feel like crying again. I love my aunt so much… i wish i could help
No. 1717830
>>1717799I think offering to come back for a week is very sweet. It can be hard to work on a hoarder's house while they're there, it can be very distressing for them to see things thrown away (depends on what kind of hoarder she has become – just overwhelmed and overtaken by things, or the type that has an emotional attachments to things). If you do go back to clean and there is a way to get your aunt out of the house with your grandma that might be best if possible. If not possible perhaps just have her in another part of the house and not watching you clean.
Of course only if you are able to go back and that's something you can do without having a breakdown. Personally I would feel compelled to clean because I'd be panicking but the other nona is right
>Take a pause, breathe, and take one step at a time. Id suggest not trying to fix anything just yet, let your brain recover from the shock for a bit. Its going to be okay. Reducing the situation in your head to 'there is a lot of stuff in the house' instead of 'mental illness, heartbreak, instability, depression, i have to fix this asap, etc' might help keep your mind calmer too and help sort out what may or may not need to be done. Good advice.
No. 1717843
>>1717830Thank you second nonna. I am heading out now to find some out of house activities and I am going to mull over how to approach this.
Both of you are so sweet, thank you very very much
No. 1717851
File: 1696602384816.jpeg (Spoiler Image,70.55 KB, 706x693, 1EEB905F-F758-4A60-9D2B-22EEC0…)
why the fuck is my second job scheduling me 7 days straight when they said i would be a part time employee!!!!!!! i’ma still get this money tho………
No. 1717872
>>1717799i think you can offer her help cleaning but she will have to want it and i think be out of the house probably for you to do it.
anecdotally, something similar happened to me. my ex had a hoarder mom and i cleaned the woman's entire first floor of her condo on a sunday (the trash day was monday). i saved trinkets that seemed obviously like they might be sentimental in storage boxes and had 7 bags of garbage out on the curb - it was mostly actual trash or broken things or ruined clothes. the next morning she took all the bags inside and ripped through them and said she just needed to make sure everything i threw out was not important.
i came back a few months later for a funeral and the trashbags were in the same place, in the corner of her living room. her condo never was clean until she died a couple years later and my ex had to clean it out.
she was ok with me cleaning it out but tbh i had to pressure her a lot so she wasn't ready to throw all her shit out. something similar might happen to your aunt if you do it without her consent. she may not want help with it if:
1. she is in denial she even has a hoarder nest
2. she feels attacked when you mention the hoarder nest to her
so i think you have to tread lightly. if either of those things happen, she will probably be resistant to help.
i think it also depends why someone is hoarding and what they are hoarding. if they are hoarding trash it's usually depression and too overwhelming to clean (like the attached video). my ex's mom was DID and did that but also hoarded trinkets and shit to satisfy her DID alter who was a child. so it was a little harder for her to get rid of her trinkets. might be the same for your aunt if shes hoarding stuff belonging to her kids or ex husband or something.
No. 1717905
File: 1696607696830.jpg (151.25 KB, 800x450, crying.jpg)
crying to asmr of a boy being mean to me again
No. 1717934
It is no longer just the fact that people make me feel alone, it is the constant need to have to prove it to me with every act they do, and if I have any doubts, they decide to tell me and let me know.
I wonder if she can sleep well at night, knowing that she hasn't spent a single measly minute worrying about my well-being. Kek then acts surprised when I decide I've had enough and obviously I don't let myself be trampled. Then she cries and complains because she says that I become distant, that I am not the same person as always. Girl, you don't have even two minutes of your day to grab coffee with me, obviously I'm going to decide to ignore you when I have free time, if it's not worth the effort I have to make.
I despise people like her, who decide to live at the expense of others, she is no one to make me feel as miserable as she does. The value she gives to others depends solely on her perception of them, and she has seen me as someone inferior for a long time.
Sometimes I find myself thinking that I want bad things to happen to her because that's what she really deserves, and then I feel disgusted because it reminds me of her way of being, always waiting for others to fail so she can feel superior, she has no other way of doing things.
No. 1718005
I used to be a high-level NLOG and identify as an FtM tranny, and I've always had male friends. Because of that I had this unhealthy habit of constantly comparing myself to men, thus making myself feel bad for not having certain masculine traits I'd most never be able to get anyway.
Now that I got out of the retarded nlog/pick-me and tranny phases I definitely stopped trying to emulate moids and I feel much better about myself. However, it seems like that former unhealthy habit evolved into a new one: instead of comparing myself to men all the time, I compare myself to other women. It doesn't make me as insecure as I used to be, but sometimes (such as now) it makes me have those existential crises when I just feel like a complete failure of a woman. That means not "feminine" enough, not attractive enough for decent moids and not sociable enough for other women. I ended up realizing there will always be this gap between me and my male friends, because of inevitable sex differences (and male retardation), so for the past 2 years I've tried to socialize and connect with other women irl but it's never really worked, even with fellow autistic or nerdy women with similar interests. I have an impression women have this special way of thinking about groups and social interaction that I'm simply missing and unable to comprehend.
I don't even know if I needed to write all of this shit. I feel like a failure, that's all. I'll never actually fit in anywhere, not with men, not with normie women, not even with women who are similar to me. I'm feeling undesirable in all ways.
No. 1718040
File: 1696616893381.png (433.71 KB, 830x540, 9642e76cb2da946f7d16b8096f7098…)
I'm devastated. Someone finally responded to my CV and a lady invited me for an interview, I was so happy, the offert was quite nice. The communicator on the site I was using had a character limit so she sent me their official mail address and told me to sent there my response and if the day and hour for the interview is fine for me and she said she will send more info there, she also said to let her know until sunday. I sent an email using the address she gave me. No response for the whole day. I opened the communicator on the site we were using to ask her if she got my email, and it turned out I can't even write to her anymore because her account was deleted. It looked legit and she had a few offers for the same company but for a few different cities, including mine. Now it's all gone. I don't get it. They should at least let me know the offert is no konger available or something
No. 1718097
For 10+ years I was close friends with this girl that was extremely controlling and toxic, the kind that was an expert at figuring out your insecurities and using them to get under your skin and making you believe she is the only one in the world that truly understands you while also using said insecurities to always drag you down beneath her. She did this to a lot of people, I am sparing you the details but I can say I am not the only one that has her as a recurring topic in therapy and has absolutely WRECKED self-confidence because of the self-hatred she instilled on us by the way she constantly put us down. I've never met someone as manipulative as her before nor since.
Anyway, I managed to completely cut her out of my life a few years ago and my life has been so much better. I would occasionally get updates on her latest bullshit but it was basically same old, same old. I was upset that she practically gets away scot-free with bullying people all the time, to the point that at least one has attempted suicide, so I've been kinda hoping karma would bite her in the ass one day whenever I hear anything but not thinking too much about it. When I heard her absolutely ancient cat died I did mention to a friend that I always worried about how she would spiral once it died, since it's been around during her formative years and also when her dad died when she was 13 (which she would use as an excuse for anything well into her mid-20's) so it would be no surprise if a lot of pent-up emotions would come crashing down, and after I said that I got it pointed out to me that her mother also died this summer and it absolutely gutted me. She is an absolutely awful person, and her mother spoiled her rotten, but no one deserves to have both their parents die before they even turn 30. I can't even wish any bad karma on her anymore, I really feel for her.
I now only hope and wish she'll turn into a better person than she used to be one day.
No. 1718156
File: 1696625669976.png (694 KB, 1280x1114, tumblr_3d794d482b84b304f86d949…)
i miss homestuck…god bless the sections of modern fandom that understand the silly black comedy it is
No. 1718183
>>1717872Thank you for replying. I value each nonnas inputs. I will watch this when I get a chance tomorrow !!
I think maybe its not time to offer; but I think I might try to in a few months
No. 1718335
File: 1696640966619.jpg (37.13 KB, 564x423, a486a72c041a8450173cc1d8440c90…)
I wish my friends had healthier ways of distracting themselves when they're dealing with shit other than drinking alcohol. They're not alcoholics but they always propose getting drinks and then end up getting wasted when someone is dealing with something. It just happened with me today. I've been having a hard time recently, so my friends invited me out to grab a few drinks (there's a specific bar that we were supposed to go to but my best friend and her boyfriend always get super smashed there) but I ended up cancelling because I didn't feel like putting on a smile, getting drunk just to feel like shit (and waste money) and getting home at 3 or 4 am. I wish we could do stuff like going to the cinema, camping, going out to eat and things like that instead. Alcohol always makes me feel worse when I'm going through something and I always end up crying once I get home. I'm sad that I didn't get to hang out with them today but I've made the right choice.
No. 1718367
>>1718364I'm in nursing and I love that it's a women dominated field but there are many single moms in my class
to the point where they outnumber us childless women. I keep getting paired in groups with them and they all want me to 'understand them' which is just a cheap excuse to not do shit or half-ass every single group project we have. It's almost embarrasing the amount of editing and rephrasing I have to do in their essays and presentations. Whenever we have to present anything, I just write the essay and assign the powerpoint slides to them so they can memorize them because I know they won't take the time to properly research the topic.
No. 1718368
File: 1696644082102.jpeg (159.92 KB, 750x604, F5mcg9eaQAAMS4n.jpeg)
I was talking to my Mexican friend about my Mexican Catholic ex and I mentioned how her father used to force feed me burrito bowls because I looked like an emaciated heroin addict. I said something like "I think that's just a Mexican Catholic father thing, the force feeding" and she gave me this look like I was literally Hitler (I'm white). I'm so embarrassed I must have sounded racist
No. 1718396
File: 1696646790719.jpeg (59.17 KB, 557x578, IMG_1782.jpeg)
i’m a fucking complex person with a lot of things going on personally and professionally and it never gets any easier trying to accomplish the goals and ambitions i have set for my self completely alone with no outside motivation and it’s so exhausting
No. 1718438
File: 1696650511325.jpg (2.74 KB, 250x163, 1696485700830.jpg)
i was gonna draw but i ended up falling asleep for 2 hours fml
No. 1718440
>>1718367>they all want me to 'understand them' which is just a cheap excuse to not do shit that's how all moid-identified women are like, and most of them just happen to reproduce, they're prime targets for moids to use as incubators
>>1718429yes, i know that women are conditioned since birth to not get into "moidish" jobs like tech and even if they do get into tech, they're put off by the moids there. that's depressing
>And using 'breed' unironically smells moid-likeseethe more, breeder-chan
No. 1718451
>>1718425Thanks
nonny! I'll try!
No. 1718468
>>1718367Oh my god, I met a nurse recently (she’s the sister of my friend’s friend) and I swear to god, she is the actual dumbest person I’ve ever met. We all played Apples to Apples and cards against humanity and she literally didn’t know some 4th-grade level words, couldn’t do basic math, didn’t understand some simple common sense logic, and holy shit she couldn’t fucking spell. And she wasn’t even playing it up or trying to be cute like “hehe aren’t I silly and dumb”, it seemed like she was genuinely a little bit embarrassed when she had to turn and ask her sister what something meant. She didn’t know what the word FATIGUE was. SHES A NURSE AND MAKES MORE MONEY THAN ME and doesn’t know the word fatigue OR what it meant. How did she get through nursing school? From what I heard, it’s fucking hard, right? How the hell did she even make it this far, getting through school, and then A JOB? It’s so dang weird and I feel almost bad talking about her because she seemed sweet but I was just shocked.
No. 1718473
Had a super rough friendship breakup today. I want to cry, but I hate myself more than anything. She was very sweet but my stupid ass kept missing hints that I was not wanted. She would be upset and I would ask her to please be direct with me because I can’t read her mood through vague ass messages, she said she would be but never was. Instead, she sent her moid to fuckibg yell at me about harassing his gf when I didn’t even know what she was mad at me about. I feel like shit for not picking up the hints but I am autistic and I cannot tell when people are mad with messages like “it’s okay” when it’s not actually okay. I don’t get it. Am I retarded? But I hated her moid yelling at me so I blocked the assholr and asked her personally if she wants to cut contact, and she says no. And that’s fine!!! UNTIL TODAY I asked her to please remove a selfie of us from the day her moid lashed out hard on me, cause it was super scary and that’s a painful reminder. And her ass fucking snaps on me about how she wanted to cut contact from the start and she’s so mad at me and she can’t stand me, and I just think “why didn’t you just cut contact earlier??? If you were that mad at me from the moment he yelled, then why did you want to keep in contact if you clearly fuckin hate me???” I don’t know if I hate her, her moid, or myself. This all could be prevented if my stupid ass could just read subtle signs. Why couldn’t I read that she was upset? How am I supposed to know “it’s okay” means that it’s far from okay??? I told her so many times that if she’s upset, she can tell me why and I will do my absolute best to fix it. I have said that so fucking much. God, I just wanna explode
No. 1718512
>>1718168Oh, don’t get me wrong. I definitely don’t think of it as karma, I meant that it all is so sad I can’t bring myself to feel as much disdain for her as I used to, I just feel sympathy. Of course it’s not all gone, I will never forget how many times she fucked me and other people over and I agree with you that it’s likely she’s gonna be even worse than before. But I will probably feel different about her for a while.
I made my post right before I went to bed and ended up dreaming about her, honestly I and another friend talk sometimes about how we miss her good sides and are saddened by how she had an equally good knack for hurting people as she had as being the friend you need at times (not without genuinely claiming you owe her one and talking about what a great person she is after, of course). It’s all around sad and complicated.
No. 1718520
File: 1696661144132.jpeg (287.18 KB, 828x1183, BCD5D4A1-9DFB-4F93-A7DA-258EED…)
I normally try not to make fun of people’s appearances but ever since anons brought up this one YouTube and compared her to pic related I cannot unsee it. She allegedly was a pick me so I feel less bad about the comparison kek
No. 1718718
File: 1696688179462.jpg (696.63 KB, 943x1249, waaaaaah.jpg)
My mom was always praised by being beautiful, she never took care of her appearance or used makeup, she just literally just showered, a natural beauty. She is also insanely good at her job. It's a very male dominated area and she is highly regarded and respected. She also teaches at a university and even even her students respect her deeply. All that said, she was a terrible mother. She was extremely stern, absent and chaotic. She is an alcoholic.
My first boyfriend was super smart. He was always the top of his class and all he had to do was read things once or twice and he was set. He graduated from a prestigious uni mostly by reading his friend's class notes. He was a piece of shit with me, he criticized every inch of my body and constantly compared me to other girls. He used to go on 4chan and instilled a bunch of idiotic insecurities about my body that still linger. Years later, after we broke up, he even reached out to apologize about how fucked up he was to me.
My best friend in school is the most determined and dedicated person I know. She is the poster girl for every school/learning program she has ever been part of. She is organized and extremely dedicated. She isn't a genius, she is smart, but above anything else she is dedicated and methodical, if she says she has been studying 10 hours every day, she was doing exactly that. She is tall and was amazing at sports too. Her biggest struggle in life is dealing with other's limitations, she doesn't seem to comprehend how above average she is and she thinks everyone else is just lazy and stupid.
These were some of the closest people I had while growing up. I'm an average person, way below average in many aspects and maybe in one or two things I'm above average. I've struggled my whole life to reach the bare minimum. I was doing ok in college but it was at the cost of my health and sanity. I felt like a retarded dog who people adopt out of pity when I was hanging around my family and friends. I'm a short, average looking and for the longest time I had crippling social anxiety that made me look like a creep from the outsider's perspective. I don't have a degree, I'm broke, I have no children and no desire to have them, there isn't anything relevant to list about my achievements.
I've been trying so hard to find my way in life and not compare myself to everyone else, but it's so fucking hard. My best friend wasn't mean but she genuinely couldn't understand why I and the rest of the world couldn't do the same things she did. She had a loving stable family and as much as I explained my situation, she didn't get it. My mom just straight up said I shouldn't be born countless times and how disappointing I am, ofc she only says that while drunk, but it's hard to not let under your skin, when she isn't drunk she is just stern. My ex made me feel the ugliest bitch to ever exist.
I almost killed myself after a guy in my uni raped me. All the fucked up shit he said echoed a lot of my internal fears and criticism too and that was my breaking point. I didn't go through it because I was scared of leaving a body and burdening people with my dead pile of flesh and bones.
I mentioned my ex, my friend and my mom because they are so highly praised and accomplished from an outsider's perspective, yet they always run desperately to me for emotional support. I see a side of them nobody sees, while I feel I'm the polar opposite. I give off the most pathetic image to everyone else, yet I always was pretty strong and supportive of family and friends even when I was suicidal. The thing is, being a nice person to other doesn't get you shit in life and here I am trying to find it in me to carve a path to myself. I've learned to come to terms with most of myself, which means I don't completely hate myself like I used to, but loving myself seems like a distant goal still.
nobody will read this giant essay on my misery, but it was somehow cathartic to write it down. Added a cute pic to make up for the wall of text.
No. 1718750
>>1718718Emotional intelligence is more important and harder to cultivate than book smarts. I know it sounds cliche, but look how smart your mom, ex, and best friend are yet they can't even understand others on a basic level. They will likely grow up to be old people who can never truly relate or connect with others beyond trivialities and banalities. I can tell you have such a great capacity to truly connect and bond with others. Unfortunately you are surrounded by stinkers and need to find people who feel and think as deeply as you do. I can tell from your post that you have a very rich internal thought process, you have incredible self-awareness, and are able to instinctively understand what others are feeling and thinking. I believe the only issue is that your trauma is holding you back, keeping you stuck in a loop of negativity and keeping you from realizing all the wonderful things about yourself. That is not your fault. The people around you set you up for failure, but I am certain that you can drag yourself out of this and eventually find people who add love, care, and positivity to your life. I am cheering you on, nonna.
No. 1718796
God, thank you so much for the replies. I genuinely cried reading them.
>>1718726I'm so relieved because I'm esl and I'm constantly worried my posts come out weird somehow. lc has a special place in my heart, it's the only place I feel comfortable talking about myself. I've been blessed to have nonnas reply wonderful messages to me in here, just like you. Thank you for making this quirky little corner on the internet such a nice spot.
>>1718750You are right about the trauma keeping me stuck on a loop, but I will keep on trying to break it little by little, guess there is no other way. Tbh emotional intelligence feels useless to me right now, but I'm trying to be a little nicer to myself as I would to others. You sound extremely understanding, I appreciate your input and I'll keep all you said in mind when I start putting myself down.
Thank you both again, I hope you have a lovely weekend wishing you all the best!
No. 1718809
I get so triggered reading stories of famous female artists, songwriters, celebrities, inventors etc, especially seeing how their parents supported them. I was wildly gifted at a young age and instead of supporting me my parents shitted on my dreams and their toxic mentality from our culture just… well now I'm a loser nitpicking e-celebs. I'm just mediocre (good income, good degree, etc) but wow. I think about if I had a different support system how wildly different my life could have gone. I know, I can't blame them or change the past, it's just such a lonely uphill struggle to be the person I want to be and fulfill the potential that I see and believe in me, and undo all of that wayward thinking. I do think I'm a covert Narcissist with how highly I think of myself compared to what I've actually accomplished, don't get me wrong. I'm not delusional but I'm trying to better myself and it's uphill and lonely.
No. 1718872
File: 1696702105899.png (404.88 KB, 730x666, fuckinghellwhy.png)
It makes no sense to me how shit like this ends up on my youtube front page. Less than a thousand views, was uploaded a few hours ago, I don’t even know who this woman is and have never watched a video of hers, but youtube is like here you go! What the shit
No. 1718902
>>1718872Jesus, me too! It's like my phone reads my depressive rants on lc and decides, hey let's make that bitch cry even more when she opens youtube for distraction!
Just yesterday it had me click on videos about a mom of twins dying a couple weeks after their birth, leaving the dad with 2 babies in a foreign country, and this series about mentally and/or physically ill social outsiders in Japan.
No. 1718915
how do you deal with being ugly? and i mean grotesque, not even resembling a normal human face, wonky asymmetrical too much flesh in the face and neck, lumpy, lanky and malformed looking ugly, not stereotypically "fat" type of "ugly" that society tries to convince us is "unattractive" due to male sexuality. how do you deal with being actually, truly ugly both in appearance (randomised on the character creation screen looking, unbalanced and deformed) and personality (is not humble enough considering ones ugliness)? the mirror (and the people in my life) lie to me and say i look like a person, but i am the most unphotogenic, wonky, huge crowded brow bone for no reason, broken looking nose due to a non-cosmetic septoplasty, foul and horrific disgusting distribution of fat around my face and neck, overly hooded and wonky tiny eyes looking person i have ever seen. i look like my ugly, wonky fucking dad and nothing like my maternal relatives who are all stunning. i look like literally like a failed experiment (once someone in secondary school asked me what "had happened to my nose" as if i'd gotten in an accident - it's just congenital nasal septum deviation which i then had addressed through a surgery i didnt fully understand at age 16 which then deviated my entire septum permanently to one side, making me more wonky than ever and fixing none of the issues causing me medical problems). how is someone supposed to deal with this? i should kill myself
No. 1719038
>>1718915I really relate to your description of yourself, at least on my worst days. Like, I could literally have written the entire thing. I think for both you and me that it's at least partly dysmorphia and depression, but some of us bitches just have faces like that.
I feel bad for you anon, you don't deserve to feel this horrible about yourself. So many scrotes out there look like quasimodo but still think they're hot shit, while we're drowning in shame since childhood for being a bit wonky. "Ugly" women are almost never ugly to me, and fuck what moids think. But really I'd give you a hug, nobody deserves to feel like this about themselves. Not to invalidate you but depression and low self-esteem can cause slight wonkiness to feel like genuine deformity. You aren't Elephant Man, you're just really full of self-loathing. You deserve more.
No. 1719041
>>1718915>>1719038Sorry for the cliché "advice". I had a deformed nose as a tween and it was honestly traumatizing, even in (young) adulthood I've experienced scrotes poking and prodding at my face/body and telling me what's wrong with it
I don't even think I look that bad atp, moids are just fucking sociopathic and have rotted their brains with instagram and porn. A while ago I'd have taken their treatment as me being too ugly to deserve to live but now I feel like it says more about them; that they react like retarded animals when they see someone who doesn't fit their standard for what's attractive
No. 1719119
File: 1696722271882.png (40.22 KB, 605x264, 076.png)
I hit a nerve of some crazy resident troon on the site and he won't leave me alone now and keeps ban evading too (been obsessing over me for over ten hours at this point and even gets into fights with other posters thinking they're me). It's completely ruined the vibe of this site for me, I'm a very private person who almost never even bumps threads or posts frequently and now I have a moid after my ass. It's creepy and I don't feel safe posting anymore. It's been good, have a safe one nonnas
No. 1719153
>>1719124>>1719127It's all happening on a single thread in /g/, he keeps saying I'm the troon, calling me ugly and going off on other anons who are taking the bait thinking they're me when I hadn't been on lolcow in hours. So no, it's not my personality since he's confusing me with other posters. When no one replies he will post about me/my initial post all alone to see if I bite. It makes me uncomfortable, as someone who is mainly a lurker.
I don't care about what he says, it's the turbo autism for me. I don't do well with being singled out or weird obsessive scrotes. Man is ban evading and shitting up an entire thread because I made a post over ten hours ago.
No. 1719175
>>1719159He was racebaiting too so that checks out, I wasn't aware of him but he did try to accuse me of being himself I'm pretty sure
>>1719172Good try kek
No. 1719200
File: 1696729457374.gif (1.25 MB, 498x498, kangel-ame.gif)
INTERNALLY YELLING BECAUSE I START A NEW JOB AT THIS DEALERSHIP, AND EVERYONE'S SO FUCKING RUDE. I try and say hi to the sellers, they don't react to anything, or don't even say hi back. I try and hop on their conversations, they don't react. Jesus christ. It sucks. I'm soon going to be working alone so I'll be forced to work with them, and I just don't want to. I fucking hate moids HATE EM HATE EM.
No. 1719215
>>1719200Gosh, rude people are so annoying to socialize with, especially when I'm only trying to be polite. If rude and distant is how your coworkers wanna behave on the job, I would give them the same attitude. I wouldn't even give them a passing glance. I would just go in and do my job and only interact with those NPCs when they need my help. But that would be
my response. This dealership is your job, so I'm curious. What would you do?
No. 1719242
>>1719215I wouldn't mind it much if it weren't for the fact that everything ends up with me. Customer just bought a car with a deposit? Me.
Customer got car fixed and they have to pay? Me.
Look into a customer's file? Me.
No. 1719341
>>1719157if it makes you feel better, i usually see gone girl amongst the '
femcel movies' lists nowadays. if you like horror check out X and Pearl- they were both directed and written by a woman. i feel you though nona
No. 1719374
File: 1696744656424.jpeg (24.66 KB, 718x444, IMG_5479.jpeg)
I just keep muting every term related to the wars in east europe/the middle east. I can’t even pretend to be fucking bothered. If something happens in the US then oh well I’ll deal with that when it happens
No. 1719379
File: 1696745029431.jpg (214.68 KB, 1069x1049, 8bc.jpg)
Whenever I see any of my friends lately I always end up with comforting them in some way, even if we're meeting up in groups, because I can't help myself from going "hey, something is clearly up. What is going on in your mind?" whenever my observant ass notice that someone is acting looking even slightly off or look even a little bit bothered. I wish I could do more to help alleviate their pain, or figure out what things are right to say, or simply ANYTHING to help bring up their mood. But all I can do is be there for them and lend them my shoulder.
And even if I'm the one putting myself there, I'm starting to feel exhausted from it all. But I can't stop myself from checking in on someone that clearly needs someone to ask how they're doing when nobody else seem to be doing it. Luckily I got no personal drama of my own going on right now.
No. 1719447
>>1719157Honestly i just want a movie of a true
femcel, a female patrick bateman if you will, just an unhinged queen that's sadistic for the sake of it and enjoys killing moids. I kinda hate the whole ''revenge'' fantasy bit.
No. 1719630
File: 1696776519910.png (286.08 KB, 873x575, IMG_2029.png)
>reading book about media addiction
>boomers at the age of 65 have spent 12 years of their lives watching television
>started adding up the hours I spend each day on my phone and browsing the internet when my screen time popped up
This shit is scary, I want to microwave my phone or downgrade to a dumbphone. I use a computer at work but at least it’s productive and pays. When I browse online I barely interact with anyone, just mindlessly scroll or leave a comment that gets one reply
No. 1719688
holy shit, I don't want to go to church. My therapist is pushing for church as an outlet to make friends. I know I need more support in my life, but I'm an autistic bitch who grew up bullied in school for not going to church. She said stuff about God and Jesus healing me, and like??? I'm going to you for healing??? I have some childhood shit I would like dealing with, but she always tells me to push it aside. Like, my mom. She wants me to just forgive my mom. My mom when she spent my more formative years being an emotionally abusive bitch, and then blames my dead dad because, "he was trying to drink himself to death." Like, okay, yeah, but he had cancer, and he's dead. My mom could have chosen to be better to her kid, and learn to cope. My mom didn't have to call me ugly. She didn't have to call me useless.
I learned so many bad lessons from my mom that have fucked me over.
And I still felt bad telling the front desk person about the jesusy part of the therapy stuff! Because they weren't happy about it! And I don't want to effect someone's job, but… fuck the church! God hasn't done shit for me! God gave me several life-long illnesses, took my dad, and gave me a mom thats never gotten help for her own trauma!
No. 1719737
>>1719630>When I browse online I barely interact with anyone, just mindlessly scroll or leave a comment that gets one replySame. At least we're not addicted to social media validation i guess.
What's the name of the book?
No. 1719748
File: 1696783353253.jpg (232.71 KB, 1170x1613, Tumblr_l_188267227678283.jpg)
Daily reminder that men are turned off by you loving them and secretly crave being stepped on emotionally and usually physically. This is your memo to try and ease him into cock and ball torture TODAY
No. 1719785
>>1719781It's the same thing that happened to me.
>>1719742I already have ptsd some mental peace…
No. 1719897
>>1719868Your father is pathetic. He told you to take responsibility as if the guy wasn't responsible for his own actions, like there is some primal instinct in men to rape that they can't control and we should know better. We might as well start caging them if they keep defending this. I've seen this way too many times and that's why I don't open up to men about my rape. They will find a way to blame you. I'm terribly sorry,
nonny. Nobody deserves to hear such a thing from anyone, much less from a parent. Don't let anyone make you doubt yourself. It doesn't matter what you did, rapist don't care if the person wants sex or not, they just have a goal and they'll do the necessary to reach it.
No. 1719914
>>1719908And the scariest part of this is, if her dad is comfortable with blaming his own fucking daughter for getting drugged and raped…what else has he done to the family? How does he treat his wife? Is
victim-blaming the only thing this man has done? If her father is willing to side with a rapist, how likely do you think it is that nona's father also assaulted women before? Holy
fuck.
No. 1719924
>>1719914>how likely do you think it is that nona's father also assaulted women before?That's exactly why I posted
>>1719872 because I know men like that are not safe to be around. My father wouldn't stop telling my sisters and I that if we were ever raped it would be our fault for being outside in the first place while growing up and even now (not that it ever happened to us thank god) and he's very violent.
No. 1719928
>>1719872>>1719875>>1719881>>1719884>>1719917>>1719897>>1719902>>1719908ayrt, thank you nonas so much. it means a lot. it took a lot for me to work up the courage to open up and this was the last reaction i hoped for/needed from him so it was really fucking jarring. everyone else i've told (mom, a few close friends) have fully unequivocally supported me and not even mentioned the idea that i could be in the wrong in any way, my dad is the only person who said that. but since he is my dad his opinion holds weight to me so i guess it really helps to have some reassurance that what my dad said was not like a normal reaction
>>1719914jesus fucking christ anon i never thought about that but now that you say it… i never would have considered my dad would be capable of something like that but now i feel like i don't really know him. idfk. he is a misogynist who has made fun of metoo before and does not treat my mother very well so maybe it was delusional of me to expect him to get it. but i thought at least this situation would be so clear-cut, i thought when i told him he would be horrified/defensive/sympathetic to me, not like mad at me and acting like it was my problem like the guy was incapable of controlling himself. wtf i hate moids i would have never fully realized my fucking father thinks like this if this hadn't happened
No. 1719960
File: 1696802669158.jpg (150.24 KB, 594x390, tumblr_0547523769c400392bf2a0e…)
why would you make a sloppy joe with mac and cheese and french fries as sides? I am not 12 years old. I am grown i need vegetables. this shit pissed me off. I shouldve never said yes. now this nasty shit is in my room stinking it up. I cant even put it back and say i cant eat this nasty bullshit because then it would cause an argument. Like why wouldnt you be like "hey im gonna cook something what do you guys want" instead of just cooking disgusting childish food. I am so annoyed like none of these bitches know how to eat healthy at their big ages. And when i try to cook with chicken or add vegetables these grown ass bitches are like "i dont eat that" but you can eat canned sloppy joe? FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
No. 1719977
File: 1696805028237.jpg (59.75 KB, 1125x595, i am going to go missing soon.…)
alright, i need to get this shit off my chest. i've sincerely felt these feelings and the anger i feel when i see this in real time is so fucking real, it blows my mind.
many anons here are dont like men or whatever, do your thing for all i care. but holy fuck, it seems a lot of you also hate women in general. every thread i read throughout this website (/pt/ or /snow/), i feel as if many of you who criticize womens bodys and stuff reek of incels complaining about very obviously attractive or normal looking women, actually being being "fat whores". ive seen regular women who wear makeup get called pizza face because if you zoom in some pores are seen, holy fuck. are you guys okay? ive also seen beautiful women get shit on for having "man shoulders" or women with certain ethnic features not associated with whiteness get called "uggos, it's insane.
plus, this extends to even your own posters. ive seen threads on /g/ about women wanting to embrace their butch identity, being lesbian, or gnc, etc. yet ive also seen posters humiliate women for not shaving and stuff, and seeing other anons get upset about this. i pity them, but what the fuck did you expect? you guys are on a website that promotes anti-social behavior and for the most part, are kind of anti-women. i've lurked in the threads of black women venting about their own experiences, i really empathize, i do. but fuck, why are you on this website? why are you surprised people here who spam "kek" are probably racist?
cmon guys, i ask for you to do better, but fucking hell, you're all so miserable and won't just simply laugh at others for doing obviously deranged shit and drink milk normally. you have to nitpick every time, it's asinine.
unironically, post milk or gtfo. i do not care if you personally think girls that dont shave their armpits are doing "moid behavior" i do not care if you think a random woman who looks completely normally has a face that looks "punched in". i also do not care about you guys screeching about the "troons" or "trannys" because i cannot ever convince myself that shit affects me in any way. even if you think its men cosplaying as women, who cares? i feel like a lot of you are just regular people working 9-5s and get to go home to unironically rage over nobodies is miserable guys.
i'm not gonna claim everyone here is some ugly fat women who is miserable she doesnt get play, many of you probably have boyfriends/girlfriends or are perfectly fine being single. i get that. but theres no way you guys shit talking other women doesnt make you reflect on yourself. it just seems many of you are blissfully unself-aware and its embarrassing, to say the least.
No. 1719980
File: 1696805762283.gif (1.99 MB, 498x333, 1695300347565.gif)
>>1719977>Doesn't hate men>Doesn't hate tranniesUgh leave i don't wanna share lolcow with your kind
No. 1719982
>>1719980samefagging
i do hate men, i hate a lot of men, but im bisexual so i cannot deny i wanna fuck them too and i have male friends that are fine people to talk to
trans people? i legit could care less
No. 1719990
>>1719977>reek of incels complaining about very obviously attractive or normal looking women, actually being being "fat whores"Wow, almost as if..
Honestly just drag your newfag ass out of here please.
No. 1719992
>>1719977>lurked in the threads of black women venting about their own experiences, i really empathize, i do. but fuck, why are you on this website????
There's some morons and assholes on here, but it's not like it's overrun with legitimate psychopaths who would dismember you if they caught you outside. It's just an image board for all the "weird" women to gather. There's some annoying parts, but that doesn't eliminate the good.
No. 1719994
>>1719992No you don't understand, this is a totally edgy racist
femcel website and every bait I see is real and serious.
No. 1720027
>>1720018Does anon think kek is a racist slur and not just a random internet word word laughter?
I also don't care about trannies and am sick of them being inserted into every discussion here but you'd have to be very mentally ill to "hate males" but still be attracted to them.
No. 1720035
File: 1696811370510.jpg (246.19 KB, 811x643, Screenshot_20231008_202802_Dri…)
>>1720027I understand not wanting to mention trannoids in
every conversation, but an eyebrow raised when I read that anon's "I hate men, but I don't care about trannies". How is one educated on the many faults and dangers of men, but okay with trannies (who are more likely to be in prison for acts like sexual assault than even
regular moids despite their lower population). It's like saying you hate men, but then saying you don't care about judging homosexual males. Uh, hello? Males are still males. If you're gonna hate men, actually mean it lol
No. 1720055
File: 1696812860626.jpg (296.44 KB, 1079x963, Screenshot_20231008_205405_Chr…)
Odds are, he didn't.
No. 1720074
File: 1696814564853.png (574.91 KB, 958x578, Screenshot 2023-05-07 081517.p…)
I am going to vent about my last job because it took me until finding my current job to realize that job trauma is a thing and i experienced that fully.
When I first quit my job I thought I was just done with working period and never wanted to go back to the work force and became a full fledged neet. But the reality is I love working, i was just working at the world's most shittiest job. I wasnt even the one getting yelled at my last job (she knew better) it was just hearing my coworkers being called stupid, and slow for 10 hours a day and them coming up to my desk teary eyed and confiding in me that they were sobbing in the bathroom that got to me. I am talking grown adultswith families. These were super sweet and highly educated people too. So seeing them crack under the pressure was heartbreaking. One of my coworkers who came from the Bahamas and was a well established accountant came up to me multiple times crying like a literally baby (not in a mean way but just in a shocking way). She had her first panic attack of her life working there. I had to tell her that that is what she was experiencing and to just take slow breaths. She was like "ive never been made to feel so stupid in my life. In my home country I was the head accountant ive been doing this for over 20 years. But here she treats me like im nothing." I didnt even know what to say to this poor woman. Then after she put her 2 weeks in they fired her. Mind you all we did was resell shit off amazon and like ebay. Like we arent saving the planet. But the CEO's wife was an insane woman. She would literally get up in my coworkers faces screaming at the top of her lungs. Like when i say screaming i mean SCREAMING. you could hear her from the bathroom. Even the custodian and shit knew about her. My first day the door man was like "you work at XX? good luck" That shouldve been my first sign.
Also it pissed me off seeing her come in with Chanel bags meanwhile her employees had to take on a 2nd job just to afford healthcare. It was such a stingy work place too! They would buy snacks and put up a sign that said we could only take 1 for the day. Mind you its like fruit gummies and quaker oats oatmeal packets lol. At my new job we have unlimited access to cup noodles, and a huge variety of snacks. WILD. My final straw was when they tried to get us all to go on their health insurance. It was $892 a MONTH! I wish i was joking.They had the nerve to say THAT was the cheapest they could find. And then when i rejected it because it was more than half my paycheck she comes to my desk to wax poetic about how health is more valuable than wealth. How all of her extremely rich friends are actually lonely and miserable uwu. While wearing those 10k clover necklaces AND BRACELETS. I kid you not. Meanwhile in the real world, you fucking need money in order to even afford to be healthy. And then when im like "i get it but i just can't afford it" she offered to pay my health insurance. Mind you this is right after she revealed to me that one of my coworkers who is in her 60s had to take on a 2nd job to afford it. I declined because wtf do i look like first of all, and more importantly, if you can afford to pay for my health insurance without batting an eye, you should be able to afford to pay for all 6 of your employees health insurance. These people made like 34$ million in sales and we were only in January. I work in accounting so i saw it. Stupid bitch. My sister called me dumb for not letting her but I have morals. Because why would you offer to pay for my young healthy ass' insurance when there is an older woman approaching seniorhood working for you who clearly needs the help if she has to get a 2nd job? its so gross. Also i hate that she even revealed this woman's business to me. It was so uncalled for. I ended up quitting on the spot that day and they begged for me to stay. Offered me a raise and new position and everything. I did come back during busy season for 2 weeks, realized these people didnt change in the 10 months i was gone only got worse, I took my check and quit again. I've been feeling bad about just quitting on them 2x, but after typing this up i realize it was their karma for firing that poor woman who literally moved all the way to America for this job to help her family. Who tf is reading this idk but this was so cathartic.
No. 1720124
File: 1696818963119.jpg (32.52 KB, 457x500, f77a37d0041dc83054141e7c899ad1…)
>>1720113go do it right meow young lady
No. 1720214
File: 1696822368004.jpeg (101.33 KB, 1024x1024, OIG.jpeg)
made this in bing AI and nominate it for a threadpic someday
No. 1720386
File: 1696826415779.jpg (76.7 KB, 580x621, 1568588281358.jpg)
I lost like 15 pounds (I wasnt overweight but was getting too close to it) and I feel a lot better but I swear most of the weight left my boobs and I went down like two bra sizes. They have excess skin and arent perky anymore …damn this sucks, I just feel ugly in a different way now
No. 1720688
>>1720629be a bit unhinged have some fun with it, compile all the evidence and contradictions. act innocent and bring those topics up again, ask him "you wouldn't do that sort of thing right? you agree only shit head predators do that?" and after he's gone off about how holy he is you drop the screenshots of him doing exactly that to see his reaction kek
and block him afterwards of course
No. 1720698
>>1720214Yes.
I feel this picture.
No. 1720862
File: 1696856846477.jpeg (40.89 KB, 639x476, 1677444335001.jpeg)
>>1719977>i also do not care about you guys screeching about the "troons" or "trannys" because i cannot ever convince myself that shit affects me in any way. even if you think its men cosplaying as women, who cares? >>1719982>trans people? i legit could care lessYou have a lot to learn, maybe you can come back after that
No. 1720898
File: 1696858660918.jpg (47.62 KB, 900x823, cd8.jpg)
When you, a minimalist, asks for furnishing advice and the only one responding is the friend OBSESSED with maximalism
No. 1720998
>>1720871Yeah Germany is basically the brothel of Europe. Most men here are also horrible, the normalization led to a mindset to totally view it as an option to buy sex if needed. Sure some have moral obligations but it's rather rare. And even women have these messed up views about prostitution.
The mainstream left is obsessed with normalizing it too, I don't know if you're familiar with it but all feminists who dare to speak up against prostitution are labeled SWERFs. It's really fucked up.
No. 1721030
>>1720055This stuff always makes me speechless when I hear or read about women just enduring that. If your moid won't even bother to make you come too, why are you having sex with him? How do you not feel used if it isn't mutual?
If a moid would just roll off me mid-sex I would be fucking fuming.
No. 1721168
File: 1696880050982.jpg (224.23 KB, 1170x878, kys moid.jpg)
>>1719925That's fantastic. Crying, shitting, and pissing himself to you and you dumped his ass KEK. Hope he dies alone after this
No. 1721220
>>1720074That sounds like an absolutely awful experience. I am putting in my 2 weeks notice in a few days because I am getting nothing from this job. There is no point of giving us roles because we are expected to do EVERYTHING. and the boss has obvious favorites. I like my coworker, but he only got this job because his step mom is best friends with the boss. I cant stand that shit. My back and feet hurt every day because I thought it was gonna be a straight admin job, but it's manual labor too. She goes on and on about how the customers are top priority, and then when customers ask for her by name on the phone, she yells at me to go away and she's busy. She can burn for all I care. I need to find another job asap because the health insurance isnt even worth it. I am glad you are in a better place and I wish that for every
nonny here.
No. 1721242
>>1721204Thank you anon. I will get out, I’ll find a way out even though I feel like I’ve tethered myself too much to him I don’t deserve this and I’ll remember what you said.♡
>>1721197Ugh omg thank you, it’s like.. why? That mf doesn’t even like me if he spreads slander like that
No. 1721262
>>1721227Lots of short cops,
nonnie, go for it. Most of the time you’re sitting in a car anyway.
No. 1721348
File: 1696894418212.jpeg (367.45 KB, 1170x856, IMG_6040.jpeg)
>>1721276Oh wow, after you mentioned an endive allergy, I found this. I think I definitely have trouble with birch pollen, that’s crazy!
No. 1721350
I hate group projects. I'm in a uni class that you have to apply for and get consent just to get into it, and it has a group project worth a large part of our grade. I mistakenly thought that meant, since you have to go through a whole fucking process just to get into it, that the people in it would give a shit about doing well and getting a good grade in it. I'm in a group of 4 and so far only one other person aside from me has put any effort in. I've basically had to take the lead and do it myself, which, whatever. I'm used to having to do that from my other classes I've had group projects in, because I'm too much of a pussy to report it to the professor. I don't want to ruin their GPA and come off as a bitch.
But the thing is, the thing that makes me fucking pissed, is that I need their input to make major decisions- even if it's just saying 'hey is everyone okay if we do that this way? If not, anyone have any suggestions?' and they never fucking respond to me. I can't move on with the project if they don't give me an OK or another route to go on. I would even be fine if they said that they wanted to do it a different way. Whatever. Either way, I can get work done. Just fucking reply to me! Then class comes- which is only once a week by the way- and I talk to them about it, and ask what we should do, and they all say they don't care. They say they don't have any suggestions, and tell me 'sure lets do it the way you suggested.' Why the fuck couldn't you have said that when I texted you? I could literally text them a day after class, and I don't get a fucking response from any of them. I have to wait a week to get a response to a simple fucking question. I could have gotten so much shit done if you had just replied to me earlier. I'm doing all the fucking work ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS REPLY TO ME IS THAT SO HARD????
No. 1721352
>>1719922based
nonnie! i recently broke up with my ex who would do degenerate shit and say "it's not how it looks" and give a whole story with little tinges of truth surrounded by lies. i have my ex so many chances to come forward about his lying i knew about and he failed every single chance.
also same, i hope your ex has this haunting him forever. you spotted a weak point in his facade.
did your boyfriend have any IRL friends, by any chance? my ex did not and it suddenly made sense when he was gone the reason and why he was so attached to internet pals. he wanted sooo badly to make IRL friends but never made the effort, probably because anyone who knew him saw through his bullshit so easily.
No. 1721353
>>1721334Ugh, that’s my mother. This was a conversation from when my partner and I drove 5 hours to visit my parents over Christmas:
Me:
yawnsMom: What’s going onnn? What’s wrong? Come on,
claps hands in my face LOOK ALIVE! LOOK ALIVE!
Me: Haha, please, stop, we’re both just tired from the drive, that’s all.
Mom: Oh wow, I thought you were more energetic than that! You think YOU’RE tired? You don’t know what tired is! I was on my feet all day yesterday until they felt like they were bleeding, so that we could clean in time for you to get here! And then, I had to get up at 4:30 am again to clean! Maybe YOU should get up and clean every morning, and then tell me that you’re tired! Sheesh, you’re both young, your generation doesn’t know how to work hard!
No. 1721462
File: 1696902023775.jpeg (115.44 KB, 830x553, fdf1010befa6e132533e3a8a1e9d95…)
I drank a smoothie then my cat came to sit on my stomach and it caused something like indigestion. This basically wasted my evening since this blockage feeling in my stomach/esophagus is distracting me from focusing on anything.
No. 1721509
File: 1696907226030.jpeg (16.19 KB, 179x206, IMG_3176.jpeg)
should i come clean to my boyfriend about the fact that i cheated on him by having phone sex with a friend of mine? i really only did so because i didn’t want to upset my friend by denying him and the guilt is destroying me, but i know that my boyfriend will (rightfully) break up with me if i tell him
No. 1721519
File: 1696908076941.png (118.43 KB, 275x274, 1660142030862.png)
I wish women being alone was more normalized. Maybe it would make my loneliness less painful if the fear of looking sad and alone wasn't tacked onto it. Men get to be alone and are called bachelors. Women are called lonely spinsters or sad cat ladies. It makes me feel like i failed. I have my parents and a few online friends I talk to sometimes. But that's it. I've always felt like an odd person who can never form relationships naturally. Now men are having some "loneliness epidemic" as if women's loneliness doesn't matter. As if we aren't the ones pressured to get married to a man or else we're viewed as a waste. I hate moids and realize sometimes that it's near impossible to find a good one, so I need to get used to being alone. But it's so difficult. I sit places by myself and can enjoy my time, until I look around at the other people having fun with others.
I wish I had one normal life experience with another person in my youth that i could cling to. But I'll always be the odd girl that's always alone. No matter how many years pass by.
No. 1721540
>>1721519Idk
nonny I kind of judge people that'd judge you more than you because they clearly never valued you as a person and care more about you being a product for a man's consumption. I've seen a young woman have the life sucked out of her from a bad relationship (started great, ended horrifically) and who took 2 years to rebound. She regrets the relationship so much. Only a truly horrible person would think she was better off in that situation.
No. 1721645
File: 1696911988239.jpg (16.34 KB, 403x403, 1664301547170.jpg)
any nonnies have treatment resistant depression? i have tried everything for almost 20 years and it feels like there's no solution. is it really so bad to self medicate a little when you've tried everything? i'm so tired of the stigma. it's legitimately crippling and no one irl has any understanding or sympathy, just judgement and cruelty
No. 1721862
File: 1696920745002.jpg (79.54 KB, 1280x720, 1276417c.jpg)
I'm in a sour mood bc I thought I could smoke weed when I came home from uni but my bf is working from home today reee. He doesn't know I smoke daily. Yes I realize it sounds like a problem when I type it out.
No. 1721902
I am for a month in an ASEAN country for study/work and I'm sorry but thanks to its moids it's such a shithole. I won't probably be able to walk anywhere alone because of their harassment. Like I want to go to a convenience store but I'm too scared to. The women are very kind and smile to me but the males stare and shout like crazy. I expected it to be at least a little bit walkable, now I guess I'll just have to go to my room after work. My room which has construction going right outside, doesn't have proper windows so I can hear every one of the thousands of motorcycles through the night, no blanket, no toilet paper, no kitchen even though this was listed as provided by the student association I was going here through. Toilet is together with shower, shower is also the sink and water goes everywhere anytime I wash my hands so I will always have to wet my feet going to toilet. I also had a lizard there this morning but I like lizards, I only hope I won't get cockroaches or something there.
They also won't provide me a meal a day even though it was listed. I will have to take taxi every time I go to work because they don't have any proper public transport and I'm not from a very wealthy country myself and I'm pretty poor so it's gonna be a huge financial hit.
When I researched this country, all the guides were like 'you have to dress conservatively but it's a safe country for female solo travellers!'. Safe my ass, never going to muslim majority country again, the moids are crazy here. I'm not even from West btw. I have a friend from this country and it always seemed like a normal place to me from her photos but now I'm realising she's probably very rich for their standards so I shouldn't have taken her experience for granted.
No. 1721913
>>1721654thanks for the response, anon. weed used to work for me but hasn't since i was 17, just causes anxiety and worsened depression. i'm basically a whatever-i-can-get-my-hands-on type person. i use alcohol sometimes but in fairly small amounts, usually, and i cycle with this. i have an insane life rife with a lot of abuse that i can't feasibly escape from at this time, so sometimes i go a bit too far, but usually this is not the case. i use kratom in small amounts frequently (no negative side effects for me). i microdose ketamine under the supervision of a dr (previously i did take s-ketamine at higher doses but once a week wasn't working for me. it does have neuroplastic effects and purportedly through the glutamate blocking effects and ampa modulation, it helps somewhat, but it's not THAT effective for me). dxm sometimes in small on and off, which is actually used in a prescription drug called auvelity, but i can't afford it at $600 a mo for just dxm and wellbutrin combined, and my insurance won't cover it. so far the most effective things i've ever taken (at low doses, only therapeutically, are tianeptine and tramadol [both are known to be beneficial for depression, but expensive/difficult to get your hands on]). i don't use anything regularly aside from the ket i'm prescribed, and only get a certain amount of relief to stave off suicide, honestly. i will and have tried anything i can access (only one hard drug once), however. this willingness to try anything has definitely contributed to the stigma, though legitimately i cannot take this anymore and i truly feel as if this is something fairly easy to understand, yet i come across the same problem consistently. it feels like the potential for abuse in others affects the perception of me due to the habits and addictive nature of others. i have tried almost everything aside from MAOIs and tricylics due to the dangers and refusal of my drs, likely due to liability. sorry for the crazy long response.
>>1721665thank you for the response. i have, and found no relief.
>>1721865ntayrt but it's transcranial magnetic stimulation. it's kind of similar to an mri with the magnetic tapping. it's supposed to reset your electrical patterns in your brain and activate low-functioning areas using magnetic fields focused on a certain part of your brain that cause depression. everyone is different and there are differently focused types, but a lot of specialists in this field are not covered by insurance, so only bigger companies that are more general are.
No. 1721925
>>1720143No. I caught skunks of varying sizes. I think the skunks this year just had a ton of offspring in my area because I've seen dead skunks or smelled skunks all around. I took them 6 miles from my house to a nice area so they got a chance of surviving. If the skunks tried to return, most likely get run over because there is a long stretch of road with a speed limit of 65 mph or killed by coyotes because of the long open fields. Just caught the 13th one tonight. This wouldn't be a problem if the skunks weren't digging up right by my house. Never realized how destructive they were until now. My neighbor had a squirrel problem.
>>1720188I got some. Thanks for the tip. I hate big spiders that look like they will jump. Bad enough I killed a black widow a few months ago in my garage.
No. 1722142
>>1722131it's not a death sentence and it doesn't mean you're infertile nona. I don't know what your doctor told you so I don't want to say the wrong thing if you have a very specific situation but 90% of what people say about PCOS online is
severely overblown
No. 1722168
File: 1696951592846.jpg (8.26 KB, 260x275, 1682127076674.jpg)
Someone in my family had a baby and is always sending me pictures of it, but I can't help but feel nothing every time I see it. I don't feel giddiness or excitement when I see it, I don't really find babies cute and nothing about it makes me want to interact with it. It's just an empty feeling. My family is going to visit, I didn't want to go and was honest with them about it, but they guilted me until I said yes. I'm dreading that they will force this baby on me as if it's supposed to be some maternal awakening like I'm expected to know what to do with it. Everyone else finds it so cute but I feel guilty having to fake my reaction to blend in with what is expected of me. I'm supposed to be excited to see a baby, and I'll have to pretend so I don't look antisocial (especially because any adverse reaction could be interpreted as jealously or something because I feel like I'm expected to fawn over a mother's most precious, beautiful baby in the world.) It's been all my family's been talking about, my siblings have started to get baby-crazy cause they want their own children. And I feel this overwhelming guilt because how dare I complain about this. I should be happy for my family and stop being so selfish and immature to feel this way. I'm uncomfortable with this trip, but am I overreacting nonnas? Is it as bad as I think it will be?
No. 1722178
>>1722148>>1722142Thank you nonnies.
Anon
>>1722148 do you know if that woman took hormones to manage pcos? I know that some women try to manage the symptoms naturally with diet and excercise
No. 1722201
File: 1696954552725.jpeg (617.48 KB, 1125x1784, IMG_6014.jpeg)
>>1722197Samefag, this is what she uses!
No. 1722271
File: 1696956658938.gif (770.87 KB, 220x227, ahah-meme-fake-laugh.gif)
>>1722168>when I'm shown photos of a coworkers grandkids or new babies in their family like I'm supposed to be overjoyed or whateverI don't know why we're expected to care so much about other peoples babies, especially if it's a distant relative or a friend of a friend like their baby is some sort of miracle put upon the earth when thousands are born an hour. I wouldn't want to travel and make an entire trip just for the sake of visiting a newborn that does nothing other than look around, shit, and cry KEK. I don't think you're overreacting, you still said you'd go so there isn't anything to feel guilty over. I'd just make an excuse like "Oh I'm clumsy" or you feel a cold coming on to avoid holding it.
No. 1722294
>>1722285He’s gonna be okay
nonnie. I promise he’ll digest it out, feel better, and then completely forgive you because he probably loves you
No. 1722299
File: 1696958942936.jpg (16.95 KB, 533x534, 7cd067f486977c1bbe6fca6883ec28…)
Python is so confusing. I'm so frustrated and all I'm doing is conditionals and loops
No. 1722305
>>1721533Not disagreeing but I think there's a difference to be made in those that stay unmarried and childfree out of choice, and those that simply can't find someone and do want a family (like me).
I could use a sperm donor technically but somehow it feels immoral to me personally.
No. 1722319
>>1722095thanks
nonny. i do have friends. i just get self conscious sometimes that they see me as lesser bc of the way i present myself maybe. ive always had low self esteem, and it's gotten better over the years, but theres still some ways to go
No. 1722322
>>1722301someone never had to learn BASIC at school huh.
seriously though listen to
>>1722318, be nicer to your fellow anons
No. 1722327
File: 1696961445691.jpg (70.11 KB, 736x736, 49f9c3a8d5b857846d9a8c476c0a71…)
>>1722299I understand your struggle, nona! Programming languages are a whole ordeal to wrap your head around. Check out 100 days of Coding on Replit, I learned pretty much everything I know from coding from that free course. Also check out Bro Code's videos on Python, he breaks some of the basic parts down to a level that is very easy to digest. There is also no shame in asking chatGPT to break stuff down for you, I have asked it to break coding stuff down for me as if I was a retarded child way more times than I'm willing to admit.
You can do it
nonnie! Keep in mind that the panicking over not understanding anything is part of the process, and it is all worth it when it starts to fall into place!
No. 1722355
I'm just so sick of gendies. I'm sick of not being able to state simple, neutral, completely inoffensive facts, because everyone on the Internet is committed to this mass psychosis. I'm sick of them infesting literally every hobby of mine, too. I have been going through archived art on my HDD and found a folder with MarshmallowFury's art. She's been my favorite furry artist back in the day, and at some point she got outed as a transphobe and a "traitor" after she accidentally reblogged a gender critical post on her main instead of rad-leaning side blog. It was one of hundreds of small things that pushed me further to peaking and it really makes me mad that currently there's no way to know whether someone is sane and just pretends to support all this shit to avoid controversy, or they're actually batshit. I doubt there truly are a lot of people in art community and fandoms as a whole who seriously, and I mean seriously, buy into gendie shit. Sure, there's a huge lot of them compared to general population, but many, if not most, either outgrow, peak, are already cryptos, or support TRAs out of subtle pressure to do so. A group of my old artist/furry/geek leaning friends virtually supports genderism, but they're actually walking on eggshells around one single person in our chat and when this person isn't around, everyone fully agrees with me and actually were super relieved to hear that I'm gender critical. To add more to this retarded spectacle, this gendie person occasionally slips and expresses awareness here and there, along with pointing out that yes, gender is stereotypes and one of first things to mention why she's nonbinary was talking about how she liked wearing pants more as a kid.
I'm so fucking sick of it all, I don't care if the world collectively peaks or the change will be gradual, I can't wait for this to be finally over. In the context of this specific rant, I don't want to drop my interests for these external, petty reasons, the whole concept of leaving something you like just because it has something to do with what a bunch of literally whos do, say, or think, or any other similar reason, is spineless as fuck to me. I want shitheads that give my interests a bad name to take themselves out, not the other way round.
No. 1722391
File: 1696967556665.jpg (109.06 KB, 798x798, tumblr_44e217e50740385a06ebdd4…)
been taking this online course at a local college that will hopefully lead to a better paying job and we have our first test coming up next week. tell me why the course instructor is only now telling us we need a student ID card to write it. this is an online class, why the hell do we need to pay $10 and waste time submitting all of the info to have an ID card made that will only be used to write a couple tests. they don't even mail the cards either, I have to find time to go pick it up now too. not only that, I thought the instructor would at least be there in person to conduct the test since there's listening portions but no, it's all being done in a computer lab so we have to bring headphones as well. why even bother making us all come in person, might as well just let people write it from home and save everyone $10 and gas money. it's also at 5:30 on a weeknight which I would think is inconvenient for most people, myself included because now I have to take time off of work to go write this. ridiculous.
No. 1722405
>>1722369Also
>34>girls my age.You're a grown ass woman, just say woman.
No. 1722429
File: 1696970730385.jpeg (64.37 KB, 423x399, BB585FED-F275-4B17-ABB1-13C789…)
>>1722422Learn how to sage retard lmao
No. 1722450
File: 1696972601892.jpeg (977.23 KB, 1000x1015, IMG_5613.jpeg)
Listening to Lana remixes just realized this guys tattoo says fuck burr. who is burr
No. 1722452
File: 1696972651727.gif (6.44 MB, 480x286, IMG_5584.gif)
Why can’t this be us
No. 1722507
File: 1696976970300.png (1.02 MB, 1156x1643, 980.png)
this page motivated me not to rope when i was in my teens. anyway i've since struggled, spent six years on that, and now i'm right back where i started. i want to give up so bad. i wish i wasn't such a coward, i mean i have a gun, i actually have (a little bit of) money at this point in my life so i could hop on a bus and ride out north and just die under the northern lights or something, but i'm scared kek. i hope i can move past this fear soon. especially since i've graduated from even mild guilt at what it might do to my family. i don't think life is going to cut me any breaks anymore
No. 1722540
File: 1696979762033.gif (3.8 MB, 360x241, maxwell-cat.gif)
Between my health issues that make me feel awful all the time, complete brainfog, and struggling to talk to other people, I wonder if I am just a broken human being. So many people are able to "fake" talking for hours, entire personalities, etc…and I feel inferior. The best I can muster up is text, but even then I've the personality of a swamp and my mind is dead. It's depressing because I adore enthusiasm, vivacity, and creativity–and it is the rare times in my life I've been happy…involved me exercising those somehow, 0 restraint. But who I am? There's just nothing here. I can maybe pretend for a second or two, but that will never, ever be me.
The only good thing that has emerged from the terrible social experiences I have had since I was a little girl is that being lonely is a relief. I am terrified of letting people down, expectations, having to say anything, being seen, and…yeah. I'd choose to live in the dark forever if I could. Downside? I am only human. My body will fall apart. I won't always be able to be self-sufficient. I wonder what I will do then, because there is no contortion I can do that'll make me fit in.
No. 1722545
File: 1696981199598.jpg (23.39 KB, 610x339, 46e6ed9ab74cc67f909b4bee38e8ab…)
>>1717396lump in my armpit/boob area is now tender and hurts when I move my arm. My mom had breast cancer + other factors… pray for me nonnas
No. 1722559
>>1722545Have you checked for the BRCA gene thing
nonnie? Get it checked out ASAP ffs, the farm needs you
No. 1722567
>>1722540This may seem like a weird suggestion but cut carbs out of your diet. This post could have been written by me when I in my early 20s. My GP offered me SSRIs so I went on a keto diet instead. My brain fog resolved within a week and after a month the depression lifted and I stopped feeling worthless and inferior. Overtime I worked out that I don't need to eat a keto diet, I just need to eat plenty of meat and eggs while avoiding grains and seed oils.
I've now been eating low carb for ten years and I mostly live a normal life. I'm still a loner who prefers to spend most of my time alone or with people I'm close to and I will always have some issues due to how I was abused as a child, it's still very difficult for me to trust anyone or make friends. It's an improvement from waking up and wanting to die.
No. 1722626
>>1722327Thanks anon! I've used replit but I didn't know about the 100 days of coding thing, I'm gonna try that out ASAP. I appreciate the ChatGPT and Bro Code tip as well.
>Keep in mind that the panicking over not understanding anything is part of the process, and it is all worth it when it starts to fall into place!It's kinda fucked up because I hate the frustration but I like the satisfaction of figuring something out after struggling so I just keep (begrudingly) going kek
>>1722545>>1722603You're in my thoughts nonna. It's possible it's just a cyst or lymph node or boil, don't be afraid!
No. 1722660
File: 1696995099273.jpeg (751.42 KB, 1170x1152, IMG_5680.jpeg)
What if I shit all over
No. 1722669
>>1722656bullshit, yes you can. the only things you can't cold turkey are substances you are dependent upon in which the withdraw can literally kill you, like certain medications. otherwise it's used as an excuse to be a baby bitch.
>>1722652keto flu, sip salted chicken broth and eat eggs. your body is a sugar-addicted toddler throwing a tantrum that you took the donuts away.
No. 1722746
>>1722733you’re so right you saw right through me wow
>>1722743I don’t even know what to say. You’re straight up just dumb.
No. 1722850
>>1722797Literally no idea what you’re talking about. /g/ is for hornyposting so duh it would be no problem there, I’m talking about here in ot just came back to the newest dumbass thread and first thing I see is anime boys kissing and yaoi keeps being brought up in those threads. Why does everything else have a containment thread but fujos are allowed to roam free? Fujochan is literally right there, go away.
>>1722840this, it’s an anonymous site I don’t know why so many anons act like they 100% know who they’re talking to. Crazy
No. 1723257
File: 1697041257429.gif (814.27 KB, 220x169, cow-cute.gif)
armpit lump nonna from yesterday here, ITS NOT CANCER!!!
The doctor said its Hidradenitis suppurativa and it should clear up in a week with a topical solution. She said its related to endocrinal/hormonal issues which makes since bc i have pcos. At the pharmacy now to pick up the perscription, but I can finally breathe again
No. 1723349
File: 1697046710314.jpg (23.18 KB, 640x632, 901da3bb44f83d21.jpg)
Oh man I think the guy me and my bf hang out with has a crush on me
No. 1723447
File: 1697051425165.jpeg (46.06 KB, 465x581, C4005BD2-106F-491C-A7AD-0284EB…)
My boyfriend gave me this T-shirt, unwrapped, still in the store bag again as a bday present instead of getting me something from my amazon wish list i sent him weeks ago .
I have legitimately thought about breaking up with him over this. Im fucking insulted and pissed off lol.
No. 1723461
File: 1697052302471.png (199.58 KB, 356x256, 18534958439058349.png)
>was gonna vent about irl friend but remembered that they browse this site
No. 1723492
I want to end my life so bad. Wife and baby daughter were driving to visit her dying dad in the hospital because he’s got maybe a week left and he wants to see her and her baby. I hate him because he’s homophobic as fuck but it’s her dad so she wants to say goodbye. We had a fight before she left and I refused to go, so she took baby daughter and left. They got hit by a drunk driver while coming home. I have never felt so empty. She was my one and only. She was my everything. We ran away from our awful families, we literally just started a life together. Our baby isn’t even 6 months old. I’m not even 30 yet, and my entire world has shattered. I didn’t get to say goodbye. I didn’t get to tell her I love her. My last words to her were some snarky shit. If I knew that would be the last time I saw her, I wouldn’t have said that. I would’ve told her I’m not mad, I’m worried. She died thinking I was angry with her. And I’ll never be able to apologize.
The only thing stopping me from ending it all is the fact my baby is still alive, and is likely going to have problems with hearing and body pain in the future. If I die, she goes to either my shitty poor abusive family or her shittier sexually abusive family, and I’m not gonna let that happen to her. But fuck, I wish I could just die. I wish I could be a selfish bitch and not care what happens to anyone when I’m gone, I wish I could stop worrying about what happens to her after I’m gone, but I can’t.
Sorry for mourn posting, I just wish I could go back in time
No. 1723513
File: 1697056990432.jpg (40.38 KB, 904x849, 789ebf96a97b9bdf02ead6c9c8a90a…)
Something happened and it made me truly realise how I wasted my life and my potential. I've been drawing since I was like 5. In middle school and high school I was always the best in the class and my art teacher was telling me I have actual talent and I have to go to art school one day etc. Then I stopped drawing for some time, my mom got sick, I got depressed, my family never took my hobby seriously anyway and they discouraged me from drawing since it wasn't a "serious career" for them, and after HS I started working instead of going to uni etc. You know, life happened. I still doodled from time to time but I never had the time to actually improve. I made some small commissions here and there, but then I left the fandom I was a part
of and the people there probably forgot about me. I'm in my late 20s now and I just stumbled upon facebook of one of the girls that were in my class. She couldn't draw basic shapes when she was 13, she didn't even seem to be that interested in drawing to begin with. But it turned out, later in life she graduated from an art school and now she's working as a professional graphic designer and also does traditional paintings and it looks like she earns enough money from it to be able to travel all around the world. And it made me feel like shit. She's now way better than me. I wasted my life. I have a boring job that drains me mentally to the point I lost any passion for hobbies, not only active ones like drawing, but even passive ones like watching movies. I'm in a really dark place right now because this is not how I wanted to live my life and I'm scared it's too late to change it
No. 1723539
>>1723468I haven't actually had one, I'm just worried that I may eventually give myself one.
It's a whole thing, I have OCD and because of it I feel compelled to kind of push with my vagina. The straining causes causes pain (which I would think means it's causing pressure too) in my head and I've been doing it for years so now I have headaches like everyday if I do it at all. I'm trying my best to stop, but again it's OCD so it's kinda hard. I've talked about this before so sorry if anyone recognizes me, also I was kinda mean last time I talked about it so I'm sorry for that too. Anyway, I know it's very strange. It may or may not be an irrational fear, I don't know what's irrational or not anymore.
No. 1723541
>>1723513I know how it feels, nonna. Some people just get to study whatever they'd like because they come from a family or situation where they can afford to do so. All I can say is it's best to not try and compare yourself to past classmates or other people like that. Some of them have moms and dads that would pay for a gorrilion dollar school debt and so they are capable of more things.
Another thing is, even if you can't do art as a job, maybe you can still find peace with doing an occasional doodle. I know you say you feel tired from your job and I don't blame you. But if there ever comes a day when you think you have the energy, I encourage you to start drawing again. I'm in my midtwenties and my art skills are so rusty, it looks like a middleschooler drew the thing I drew, but I still draw for my own satisfaction. We can't go back in time so all we can do is go forward. I get better the more I do it and I know you would too.
No. 1723585
>>1723568autistic rumination that's why kek
But yeah, I will start drawing again, both traditionally and digitally, I bought a new tablet. It's just hard for me knowing how much time I wasted. Sure if I get good I can still sell comissions to individual clients, but I don't think any studio or company will ever want to hire me because I think they also look at your age and they think it's better to invest in younger people. I can't into networking either without any school, I don't know anybody etc. I wanted to be a part of animation/illustration/comic book industry but well
No. 1723590
File: 1697063670273.jpeg (73.45 KB, 639x833, 5B998402-CC13-42FF-A0BA-1C7EA0…)
I seriously hate when my period makes my legs and teeth hurt simultaneously, I don’t even know why it happens, it just happens and it’s obnoxious.
No. 1723653
File: 1697069077506.jpeg (39.2 KB, 364x364, IMG_6197.jpeg)
kek I managed to pay off all my debt this year and of course now I’m back in debt why is life like this I just want to live
No. 1723708
File: 1697074070768.jpg (29.35 KB, 612x408, istockphoto-947804676-612x612.…)
CC got raided by disgusting moids today and they had the vile audacity to post torture CP on there, and I had the misfortune of seeing it.
Now I legitimately want to kill myself because I didn't need to be reminded even more just how disgusting this world is towards innocent beings like children.
No. 1723749
File: 1697082447577.jpeg (939.51 KB, 1170x1543, IMG_5704.jpeg)
This retard doing chest compressions on a guy who was shot in the chest. How stupid do you have to be to not understand that that would just push more blood out of his body and the bullet further into whatever organ it hit. I feel a strong urge to cunt punt this fucking fag pmd
No. 1723874
File: 1697097838092.png (2.42 MB, 1080x2194, Screenshot_20231012-034155_(1)…)
Found this tiktok that basically summarises the fear I've always had about being in relationships with moids. I've always been bothered by society giving no backlash to men that sleep around but women get it so much shit for having sex that there's a fear ingrained in me that causes me to avoid casual sex.
Almost all moids are whores if they can be, so marrying a moid most likely means getting together with a retired man whore, and I just cant do that.
I've talked to my therapist once about this and got told the same bullshit everyone says, "that's in his past and he would be a different person now" or "that shouldn't matter. What matters is that he would love you and how he treats you". But I just can't see it that way. Ive always felt fucked in the head for thinking this way because whenever ive talked about it, ppl always think im being judgemental and mean. But moids can gather their ugly selves together and demand a virgin bride and other men will agree with them. The way moids think about womens' body counts is something ive actually always applied to men. I truly think a man's value decreases as his body count increases (and I do not hold this true for women. I think women can have whatever body count and their value is not affected). I dont know why I think this way but ive always felt like a bad person trying to discuss it with anyone.
I feel like maybe deep down, I really do actually hate men. Like, if sleazy men just went and died in mass (from like a freak STD that only killed off men), i think society would actually be a little better.
No. 1723904
This is gonna be a long one, and I'm sorry for that.
I am bisexual. I am in a relationship with a man atm. I also had thought for a long time I was lesbian. I feel like a traitor. I know very well how men will use people like me to say shit like "YOU JUST DIDN'T FIND THE RIGHT MAN" to every lesbian they can. For this reason, I'm never angry when lesbians say I'm a traitor, I'm shit or whatever. I know how they feel very well. It doesn't mean I don't get a little upset tho. I had my reasons. I was raped almost daily from my 8-10 years old, so of course I didn't want any man near me through all my teenage and early 20s. And my attraction to women wasn't only due to trauma, it's real. So me thinking I was just lesbian felt natural for me. It wasn't until my mid 20s and after a lot of therapy and self acceptance that I was able to admit I'm actually bisexual.
I feel so guilty though. I did nothing wrong, but I feel like I did. But what should I do? Keep denying to myself that I'm bisexual only so that lesbians wouldn't be hurt and/or angry at me? Keep living my life as bisexual even knowing very well how men will use people like me as excuse to harass lesbians? I feel no matter what I do, it will be worst either for lesbians as a whole or for myself. I didn't want it to be like this. Had my childhood been better, I probably would have known I was bisexual since earlier in life and wouldn't be in this situation now. I didn't ask for it. Life is so shit for women.
I kind of feel ashamed to be with a man now. Even saying that I'm in a relationship with him to my old friends feels wrong, even tho I really love him. That's because I know full well how people will judge lesbians as a whole even tho I am only one person. Of course they don't know my childhood, they don't know what I went through, when people do they are more understanding. But it wouldn't stop shitty people to use people like me to their own benefit even if they did.
I wish things were simpler. I wish I could not feel guilty. Heck, I even wish I was 100% a lesbian so that I wouldn't feel a traitor. I can no longer lie to myself though. I wish a pedo hasn't raped me for years. I wish people just respected lesbians and women as a whole. It hurts.
No. 1723985
File: 1697107462371.gif (1.15 MB, 325x188, giggle at the ghostly.gif)
everyday i feel myself inching closer to going back into psychosis. but it's fine. i can't do anything about it right now so i'll just laugh it off, that's the technique i'm using right now. i feel like a total Alzheimer's patient because of how bad it gets at/after sundown kek but actually not kek because it freaks me the fuck out i just pretend not to care. feeling watched and observed through my devices a crippling about again for an unknown reason that's killing me. being taunted for a laugh maybe, i can't blame them. i want to throw all my electronics in a well but abandoning them didn't do me any good almost 4 years ago. i'm seeing and hearing things all the time, but what can you do
No. 1724051
>>1723874"Bodycount" is tied to purity culture bullshit and it needs to go away entirely for both sides, and people need to stop taking themselves so damn seriously.
In the meantime, as a woman with a "high bodycount," I just lie to moids about it. Do you think any of them can tell I've had abortions before? I don't even have STDs.
No woman is obligated to play into their headgames. Never heard them complain after they've slept with me, on the contrary.
Even if your "bodycount" is low, an insecure moid is still gonna find reason to discard you regardless. A moid with a low bodycount may still cheat on you down the line or leave you for a younger woman when he is a raisin.
"Bodycount" protects you from nothing and it's all luck, and that's why mature folks are telling you to focus on how people treat you in the present because that's what really matters.
No. 1724061
>>1724054so much respect for you rn nona, sorry for the chore of making new burners though. keep up the good fight but also let my nona post her animals and hobbies in PEACE fuck you reddit. they ruin everything??
>>1724052I always think of murder before sex partners because 100% that's what it used to mean. not it's a literal like moral crime on par with muder to have sex (at least as a woman) these days. like "how many men did she suck dry, the succubus!!" is what I get. when I hear men say it they just say "count". the "body" part really does imply there is a crime there. it's just kinda sexist in the end.
moids do be reeeing on the constant these days though. funny, they're getting it easier than they ever have and still bitch and moan (but still manage to coom??)
No. 1724144
>>1724125>a small vision of what hell looks likeYou describe it so well. Some subhuman pedo posted a horrible image here some days ago, the kid looked just a few years old. All I could think of where was this child now, what happened to her, is she okay or even alive.
All my sympathy and gratitude to farmhands who have to deal with deleting these images. I hope there can be a way to prevent the spam in the future.
No. 1724148
File: 1697121066219.jpg (100.87 KB, 1080x368, Screenshot_20231012_162903_edi…)
>>1724061Aww, nah I'm not about to be dissuaded to say my truth, no matter how many new accounts I have to make. Thank you, that's very sweet and I appreciate it a lot.. I'll always find a way to show off my pretty chickens and other assorted animals. Have one of the messages I got though as treat of the insanity that's out there! Which also had me laughing.. A lot.
No. 1724272
File: 1697130051427.jpg (5.8 KB, 225x225, hidinginplainsightuhoh.jpg)
>be closeted lesbian
>live in somewhat Liberal Muslim home but living in backwardpakiland
>lgbt issues come up
>oh fuck
>lgbt are dirty!! They are supposed to die!(i agree mtf troons are)
>brother asks if I'm supportive
>give a vague answer saying I don't care how they live their lives
>threatens to kill me if I support them
>I get angry and ask why does it matter to him albeit a bit afraid
>tell him it shouldn't affect him how they live their lives
>avoid him after
>mum says I'm not lgb so ofcourse she doesn't support them lol(…)
…..fuck
No. 1724299
>>1724276Sometimes I really wanna know what hyper-religious fathers tell their sons. It must be so fucked up and really scramble their brains. I know my dad used to have secret conversations with my brothers that were boys-only and they always had a thousand-yard stare afterwards. My one brother used to say similar things to this
>>1724272 just randomly threatening to kill me or other people, insanely possessive of his younger sisters (not even muslim, I think this is a universal psycho male thing)
No. 1724355
>>1724349Are you comparing menstrual blood to literal excrement? Are you a 14 year old moid? Women aren’t dirty by having a menstrual cycle. You sound mentally ill. Having a period is not the same as rubbing shit on yourself. Wtf
>women should take medications that fuck with their bodies to stop normal functions because their gross Is moid shit anon. You sound like you have sensory issues and are projecting. Hope you get better soon
No. 1724380
>>1724372it's not blood, it's shed tissue lining. it's comparable to boogers and shit because shit is processed food waste and expelled dead cell mass. you don't even know what it is yet you're over here making a fool of yourself running a crusade.
why are you policing what i can think is gross? why is menstruation a sacred cow i'm not allowed to think is gross? who are you, the gross police? what a dumb argument. i can feel however i want to feel and you can fuck off from trying to police me and my body.
No. 1724398
File: 1697139383344.gif (565.65 KB, 220x175, 1651633382536.gif)
Is anyone else resisting the extreme urge to send a guy a paragraph or voice messages right now because fuuuck, what do I do with this rage? I want to beat him to death, I want to American History X his ugly retard skull, I want to yell and cry and everything else.
Unfortunately, the only way to make scrotes understand is to shut up and walk away. But holy hell is it hard.
No. 1724435
>>1724426We sound similar. Don't be sad. It's just that everyone who's bad at making friends is too scared to find each other…but when you do it'll last for ever.
Social people aren't necessarily better people. In fact, they can be pretty awful because they're good at pretending to be people's friends.
You're fine. Find a fun hobby.
No. 1724440
>>1724051Tbh even if a retired manwhore showered me in gifts, loved me to death, treated me "well", and was 100% faithful (as if any man could ever be kek), i still couldn't bring myself to ignore his past. Like other nonnas have said, men usually do gross things to get high body counts. I knew a guy that had a cousin that boasted about his "high" count only for it to be high because he picked up drunk women all the time from a bar.
I understand "purity culture" can be
toxic to an extent (mainly for women though, when have men ever been pressured by purity culture?) but I can't really see a manwhore as a valuable person, regardless of what that reason may originate from.
No. 1724447
File: 1697145540185.png (92.42 KB, 540x166, feralnona.png)
I smoked cigarettes once in a while in college, developed a full vape addiction over the years and I finally fucking quit nicotine altogether last year. It was the best thing, and the hardest thing I've ever done for myself, my anxiety is SO much better and my lungs are happier.
THAT BEING SAID - now that I'm fatter than I've ever been in my life, and I'm trying to lose weight, I fucking miss the nicotine. Seeing celebrities like Anya Taylor-Joy and Jenna Ortega looking ~smol~ and smoking cigarettes makes me feel like picrel and I want to smoke so bad even though I know it's fucking retarded.
No. 1724458
>>1724448that's because the only thing these sites care about is the amount of reports, not the actual content. if a brigade of
triggered kpoppies is after you they probably spammed the report function
No. 1724602
File: 1697158205717.jpg (50.79 KB, 735x590, 8a64ed6fcba44cdf71d24d75ad22c6…)
Just got dumped by my bf of 4 years. I really really really really really loved him. I really love him.
No. 1724607
>>1724445Nonnie I highly suggest investing in a notebook (one you like, so you feel like writing in it, not just a plain one) and write all your shit out. You can even rip the pages out afterward and burn them, tear them up and throw them in the ocean, flush em, whatever you need to do if having such private things written down freaks you out. My track records with therapists is also shit and so very few of them give you real coping mechanisms. My therapist pretty much shrugged her shoulders and said I'll be anxious all my life and whenever I asked for help in certain scenarios (like, "how do I stop being so scared in the car when someone else is driving?"), she would just go "well what do you think would make you feel better? Find something that makes you feel better!" Which was no answer at all. It's been more beneficial to me to just write out all my feelings, question myself, write answers (or even more questions) in response to my question. Dwell on it for hours if you need to, look it over from all sides like a scientist with a specialty in "wtf is wrong with me". It's cheaper than therapy and I've found I give myself way more answers that way, even if it takes awhile, and anything I say is just between me and the paper. I hope maybe this advice might help you nonna.
No. 1724609
I get really bad PMS before every period for about 5 days beforehand, like if I didn't know what it was I'd be suicidal, but I know it goes away once the period hits and I'm back to normal. Feels like this pervasive sadness but not urgent enough to cry, and nothing I do gives me any dopamine. Watch a show I like? Play a video game? Nothing, feels the same as staring at the wall, no relief I basically have to white knuckle my way through it everytime. Once the period hits its like weight lifts, I dont mind tje bleeding that much. I've been pregnant for the past 7 months so I forgot what it was like. Was totally elated and satisfied, just feeling happy and well all the time. Now I am entering month 8 and BAM it hits me, idk if it's my body preparing for the home stretch or what, but it's the sadness again. I forgot what it feels like… it's making me fucking sad realizing this is how I lived and I'm going to go back to it once every month for 5 days, god forbid I get ppd!! I don't know how I did this so often there really should be something that can be done.
No. 1724644
>>1724611Is it hair thinning or full alopecia? Don't know if it'll help but I started losing hair by the fistful in college, someone else pointed out my hair looked thinner and I got so embarrassed. I used minoxidil for a little.
Idk if yours is a genetic condition but I eventually got mine to stop and to come back a little.
Are you using any hair dyes? I was using manic panic vegan dye at the time when it picked up, I had a friend who was consistently using it too and she ended up complaining about hairloss too, I swapped it out for henna dye she said it couldn't cause it because it was vegetable dye but I definitely noticed the loss picked up after a dye.
Are you stressed? A lot of hairloss occurred when I wasn't sleeping and stressed.
I also started doing cold showers on my scalp and massaging my scalp in the morning and night.
It never came back 100% but over the course of 3 years it came back a lot and stopped falling out
No. 1724685
File: 1697174804621.jpeg (21.74 KB, 480x269, IMG_5815.jpeg)
the scene in party monster where he gives the cat drugs and tells wilmer valderrama that “the hole family is on it now” always makes me
No. 1724720
File: 1697178989410.jpeg (229.58 KB, 750x567, cute-earmuffs-for-baby-cows-2-…)
Sometimes you really do have to let abusers get cocky and comfortable with what they're doing. They are always on their own wavelength where they truly believe that they are going to just continue what they're doing with no backlash, no retribution, no consequences. You really do have to step back and be patient. It's all that much more satisfying watching them fall harder than they ever could have imagined.
No. 1724727
File: 1697180073158.jpg (784.57 KB, 1614x2048, 11705f0769bfaffa23782ec1c60f70…)
>Friend starts playing my favorite game which I been shilling for like a year
>I say we should stream it together because I want to see her reactions and she knows it's my favorite game
>'Oh I don't like streaming VNs and talking during them' and I'm like 'oh ok that's fair'
>She says she'll liveblog it but never does this
>She's actually streaming it to a different group who I was saying should play the game but never ended up doing it despite buying it behind my back.
>Never liveblogs it
>Wait 10 hours today for scrote friend to get off work and take a nap so we can watch my favorite anime
>He immediately says 'no I'm going to go watch her stream it instead, I don't want to wait 20 minutes even though you've been waiting all day for me'
I feel stupid for being upset, but my feelings are genuinely hurt.
No. 1724732
>>1724731She was streaming my favorite game and he said he was going to watch my favorite anime with me, but yea pretty much.
She's a BPD type so I get that I should kind of expect that from her though.
No. 1724772
File: 1697182594282.gif (1.07 MB, 640x516, 1697122367460876.gif)
Have you ever had someone so obsessed with you in such a pathetic and creepy way that they will do anything in order to interact with you? They crave it in a way that is only present in the most vile of cluster b? Shits cwazy
No. 1724802
File: 1697184841688.jpg (34.89 KB, 640x538, f778504be762863626706d4fcdaf2b…)
I love my bf but he's skinnyfat and balding and I want to go back to dating skinny twinks. Am I retarded/shallow? He's perfect otherwise, I just wish he was cute too. Why can't moids be both attractive and good people? Ugh, I love him so much, even if he's a bit uggo, he still makes me warm and giddy inside. I can't bring myself to break up. I will probably regret this later in life and have a mild life crisis because I didn't fuck enough boytoys. Such is life.
No. 1724848
File: 1697190517140.png (415.93 KB, 870x495, 1665335991042 (1).png)
>>1724426nonita you sound like me so much… i can't even fit in "outsider" groups, they all have unspoken rules to follow and i'm too retarded to pick things up. we'll get through this
No. 1724875
>>1724848I was actually gonna add a part about how I feel out of place and weird even in the most misfit/weird of groups lol
I hope we both can just… Get to be. I can't spend this much energy on worrying and hating myself anymore
No. 1724881
>>1724866yes you really should
nonnie i love this pic too. it's silly
>>1724875a huge problem for me personally is that the "misfit groups" already have established friend circles, and even people who seem "alone" in there usually have a shitload of (old, long-term) friends either outside or inside the groups, thus, making it impossible to be a piece of their life. all of them, horribly social and well-adjusted people (in one way or another), even if they have niche hobbies.
>I hope we both can just… Get to be.i tried to in the past, and it didn't work out. maybe i didn't try hard enough, but now i have a chance i think.
>>1724877please think it thoroughly. surviving a suicide attempt is the worst thing ever. maybe this might prevent you from even trying.
No. 1724885
>>1724802just cheat on him nonna.
>>1724868i'm sure you look great, just give yourself some time to get used to your new look
No. 1725050
>>1724678This place is a
toxic wasteland filled with "yasss kween" twitter tourists, no wonder people left
No. 1725173
File: 1697215240873.jpg (101.28 KB, 720x1186, 3f0d9fa4d1a264cc5e96d1cca49717…)
>>1724678Everytime I want to post about anything, no matter which board, I've to censor myself and filter my opinion so my post doesn't get trashed by random schizos from at least 7 different factions, to the point I'd be like "nah, rather keep this to myself" and avoid another endless infight altogether. LC is no longer a place where I feel comfortable being myself, I be posting random shit like "today I felt bad then ate cereal" and come back two hours later to an infight. When someone complains they get anons saying "that's just chan culture just leave!" Well look were it took us you retards, now this shit is desolated
No. 1725180
>>1725173i hate that shit so much drives me bonkers
>say something normal>get an insanely aggressive nasty bait response>"hey why would you act like that">REEEEEEE THATS JUST IB CULTURE GO BACK TO TWITTER IF YOU CANT HANDLE ITit's getting worse the more exposure lc gets on tiktok/twitter, it's 100% newfags who think being on an ib means you have to be as bitchy as possible 24/7.
No. 1725327
>>1725319>moid friendmales will only "befriend" women under pretenses. They want exclusive validation at minimum and seethe if you pursue your own happiness. As such they cannot be your friend.
I've had many friends and the male ones have done nothing for me besides traumadump and expect me to be a therapist if not outright camwhore for them.
No. 1725342
File: 1697226353685.jpg (42.33 KB, 488x490, ready.to.party.jpg)
it feels so bad to just feel like you have no purpose, i felt like this for a while and i thought i would have gotten better by now but it just got worse.
I tried entering uni in a career i didn't give a fuck about and i just quit it because i don't even like studying for some reason
What am i supossed to do if i can't even get into the habit of studying or like it? i'm just lazy and stupid and can't be bothered anymore, i'm not even competitive and have no drive
i just keep on pushing things to the side and regretting it later
No. 1725356
File: 1697227347420.jpg (41.56 KB, 500x563, images.jpg)
I had a male best friend in college, he was a very nice guy, but then he became a weed smoker and started disliking me. I dunno I guess I did say stupid shit under stress, I was trying to graduate and he never could. I called him this week because he told me not to call him in 5 months, and more than 5 months have passed. He's still aimless in life, not that I'm doing better but whatever. He told me we can "still mend things but it won't be the same" even though he "misses me and talks to his friends about me". I could still have his friendship. He still has the ugly art I made on his apartment. He was dear to me.
But is it wrong that I just want to move on from all this? I was a different person in college, stressed and still figuring shit out. I don't want to think about how he sees me. Or anyone else from that era. Sure he was nice but man, I don't know. I'm pink pilled now too. I feel like he's putting part of the blame to fix things on me, saying he's "trying to be more open" and that he has "stuff that tired him out about me that he needs to discuss". I told him I was scared. Whatever it was I remember apologizing already. And after months and even years of growth do you think I want to hear what he has to say about me? Idk. I probably became different due to using LC these years too, which I'm sure he hated. I don't know if I want to be the same dumb idiot from before. I dunno. He's not bad I'm just tired of him lol. I am scared of never having meaningful friendships again though, or having to encounter more mean people in my life or people who suddenly dislike me or abandon me idk.
I really want to let go. My Nigel says "you two are very similar, you two isolate a lot, you should get together and fix things, you will gain a friend back!" And overall my Nigel tries to be positive but is it wrong that I don't want this kind of positivity? Maybe moving on, waiting and seeing if I get better friends in the future is the answer. Idk if that'll be possible. Thoughts? My friend did say his "arms are open" anyway.
No. 1725366
File: 1697227851683.jpg (36.45 KB, 564x563, birt.jpg)
>>1725350i don't want to say my age but i'm not even mid 20's yet, so really young ig
the only thing i ever actively show interest in is drawing and gardening, i like the idea of speaking languages but i just stopped at 2 tbh
otherwise i just do common stuff like find cool movies to watch, read books considered classics or important and sometimes i try to cook new recipes. It just doesn't feel fruitful
I probably won't take another class/course/thing i don't even like considering i couldn't keep going to uni with the tought of doing something i don't like for the rest of my life
No. 1725372
>>1725356Unless he's taken the steps to actually change, which doesn't seem like the case, I don't understand how he could possibly be a positive presence in your life, nonna. I'm getting red flags from what you've mentioned here, namely him 'needing to discuss things about you that tired him out', like this inclines me to believe he's still resentful, and that your instincts about him wanting to assign blame to you are correct. Sounds like he needs a therapist, not you as an emotional crutch. It's not wrong for you to want to move on, and you shouldn't feel guilty for it. People come in and out of our lives all the time - and you not wanting to revisit a time of your life you've outgrown isn't unreasonable.
If the friendship is meant to be, it will endure - but I think this guy needs to sort his life out first before he tries to re-enter yours.
No. 1725379
File: 1697228617991.jpg (49.83 KB, 958x799, 1690988790112037.jpg)
I just had a baby a month ago and singing along to various songs I didn't think I had emotional connections to will send me bursting into tears. If I'm alone it'll cause me to start thinking about minor upsets I thought I moved on from like years ago and prolong the tears.
It's infrequent enough for me to have forgotten it when my doctor screened me for post-partum depression last week.
I don't think I'm really stressed (ive taken care of my infant cousins for the last 3 years) but the entire pregnancy (and the labor even after the epidural) was shockingly easy and not stressful.
I'm mostly just feeling annoyed about these cry spells because I just want to sing along to songs and I can't figure out why it's triggering.
No. 1725385
>>1723874You're not being judgemental. I knew one who I talked out of physically cheating on his wife; I literally told him that he could give her something like HSV-2, and that in itself wasn't enough to get him to veto the idea. He didn't do in the end, and they're in therapy now but I was appalled. In that instance, he didn't even have a massive "body count" because they've been together for like 10 years, but it's more that if the opportunity arises for men to sleep around, a lot of them will take it even if they're in a committed relationship. Yet, we're the ones who catch shit for doing it, even if we're single. Men feel entitled to sex with women, yet revile us when it's 'offered'. Fucking lunacy.
My friend told me to read 'Men Who Hate Women', and I want to - but it's depressing me because some of the parts she paraphrased are things I've seen/experienced myself, particularly online. It honestly makes me want to stay single forever.
No. 1725386
File: 1697229194250.jpg (43.95 KB, 564x703, gatto.jpg)
Not sure if I have undiagnosed BPD or if it's normal that a moid puts me through an emotional roller coaster for months on end and makes me feel suicidal at times
No. 1725387
>>1725379I'm sorry to hear this
nonny, I hope you feel better soon.
No. 1725393
File: 1697229456975.jpg (89.82 KB, 540x792, 18754564567.jpg)
its my birthday and i feel really embarrassed about the state of my life. cant invite people over because i live with my parents and they hate my friends (im saving for a condo which is why i still live here, which im grateful to do). also only have like 2 friends so that would be even more embarrassing. i'd get drunk but my hangovers last like 2 days.
anons, dont make life decisions to please your parents. you're the one who has to live with those choices and where they take you.
No. 1725414
>>1725374thanks anon
it's hard to talk about that sort of thing with people, they just look at you like you're insane or something
No. 1725417
>>1724947Palestinian-American
nonnie here, it's probably not much comfort but I wish you and your family strength and safety. An eye for an eye makes the world blind; Hamas and other extremists are just making shit worse for all sides. My family was forced out in 48 and some have since passed away with war around them. We don't choose to be born as X person of Y group and in war there are no winners, only losers. Just know there are those of us out there who want peace and wish to break the cycle of bloodshed and anger. Please please stay safe and take care of yourself.
No. 1725442
File: 1697232249342.jpg (53.16 KB, 871x1000, happy birthday.jpg)
>>1725393i think smaller birthday parties are neater because you get to talk more in depth
No. 1725498
File: 1697236874364.jpg (794.65 KB, 1080x1082, Screenshot_20221009_194550.jpg)
>>1724597thank you for your kindness! i hope you can get a diagnosis and get on the path to feeling better soon.
No. 1725549
>>1725341Autistic
nonnie.
No. 1725579
>>1725505Canada lol
>>1725560Yeah, I'm gonna call tomorrow since by the time I saw the email they were already closed. I'll suck up the cancellation fee if I need to though since they're the only local place that accepts my benefits.
No. 1725630
>>1725625Time to move on
nonny, he will only hold you back. If he's 28 and suggesting he "do better" makes him cry and call you mean, it's hopeless.
No. 1725640
I just don’t know what to do. My friend is extremely depressed, to the point that even her characters are depressed. Whenever we roleplay, she always basically makes me do all of the work to make the plot move, but then she gets mad at me because my characters have to be pushy or I have to flanderize them because hers are really, really static and unmotivated.
Like, if you have a character with cool mysterious powers, make him do cool mysterious shit, make him want to do something with that.
But it’s like she doesn’t even know her own character, and the way I characterize it is of course different to whatever she’s imagining.
We want to write a book together, but I literally don’t know what would her character want, it’s not even a horny character because it literally doesn’t want to do anything. How do you start a story like that with such a main character?
Like, I have main characters for ideas that don’t talk or do much, but they still do something, at least leave the house.
I just think she’s just extremely depressed to the point that even her fantasies are depressed, and it’s seriously frustrating because I love her and I want her to express herself.
No. 1725644
File: 1697250202591.jpg (24.38 KB, 500x500, d72881316775ac717f8b29843aabd1…)
>>1725625Date someone else. You'll move on to men who take their life and you seriously… and he can get a discord kitten to show his anime OC sketch (no critique) to
No. 1725647
File: 1697250278102.gif (420.52 KB, 500x500, Blah Blah Blah.GIF)
I wish she’d stop trying to weasel herself into my life whenever she needed me.
No. 1725678
>>1725510I don't hook up, so not enough for me lol. I'm currently talking to –as friends– a cute and very compatible guy rn, but he's kind of a loser, I wouldn't be serious wih him.
>>1725524We have sex, which is okay, not the best I had, both in skills and looks. We're close but I don't feel madly in love like I did in previous relationships with my boytoys. He's just. I don't know. I can't put it into words.
>>1725545Nona, I think you're correct. You absolutely are. I didn't notice until I read what you said, and it resonated with me. I love the things he does, and I think he's funny and kind, but whenever I mention I have a boyfriend something dies inside me. I'm too young to settle for life. I know flings aren't all that, but I just wish I could.
No. 1725755
>>1725752Go to Bed
nonny, Something seems Off ABOUT You right Now
No. 1725759
>>1725755Yea, it's so off I've been mentally abused to suicide on the internet and turned into a freak and that people obsess over my harassment just because I tried to be friends with them or I shared a different point of View…
Thanks
No. 1725796
>>1717396Met a new cool girl tons in common great to talk to
Fuckin handmaiden who unironicaly believes the 'feeling like a woman' troon shit.
God when will it fuckin end i'm so fuckin tired of it all
No. 1725802
File: 1697263234956.jpg (254.29 KB, 720x500, purrmanently-sad-cat-2.jpg)
Even though evidence is shown to me every day that moids are awful and most are incapable of love, I cant give up on my stupid little dream of finding a nice one. I have such particular preferences though that most moids could never meet. I know the probability of being alone for the rest of my life is a strong one. Ive never really loved the moids I dated before and there's always something about the ones I meet now that automatically turn me off. I wish I could be a happy girl with that ideal bf, even though I feel the probability of that narrows the more i age. Im not miserable enough to kill myself over it, but I do feel really depressed every day. If i dont go out and try to be amongst others, I feel a rush of anxiety that Im not putting myself out there enough. But i truly feel happiest at home sometimes with my art and pets, although those times are rare.
I guess i just feel really sad that I let myself down. I tried really hard to have things turn out right, but so much traumatic things happened to me involving moids.
I just don't know what to do to make myself happy anymore. Aren't people happiest when theyre in relationships or in love? I feel like crying myself to sleep knowing I'll probably never experience what I always wanted to. I just do everything alone now, being the loner I never wanted to turn back into after highschool.
I just wanted to have one nice experience after everything I've been through.
No. 1725815
>>1725808Anon read my post please…I am going through the same stuff. I am on the verge of throwing myself off a building. Don't expect much attention or commaderie on the internet or in real life…
Some people get it and others do not. Some people get empathy…most people do. I am unsure why some do not. Why are You not Reading what I Have written?
No. 1725827
>>1725738>>1725752many anons don't use the cow boards anymore tho.
>I hate how this place reduse to discuss ACTUALLY problematic or evil peoplebe the change etc. i'm sure someone will be interested if you bring those people up and provide a summary. but to be for lc is not for cancelling
problematic people specifically but for providing milk so they have to be interesting. otherwise use social media/contact the authorities
No. 1725830
>>1725827I did. Just got called a jealous whore/got ignored/told I'm vendetta fagging
When in fact the people that I brought up are more
problematic and cow like and full of milk than anyone posted on here. They're legitimately evil. Like, their antics are actually fascinating to watch/their lies/scams ETC
No. 1725842
>>1725832The fact that the lolcows posted are genuinely mentally unwell and unproblematic…they aren't evil and their antics are not interesting. They're super washed up…
Nothing interesting or evil about Venus Angelic a mentally ill girl barely staying alive in Japan, she's faced with șo much bullshit. She's unwell.
The cows are cows because they Have a legacy or someone posts them out of vendetta fagging. IT îs actually sociopathic to Pick on someone visibily unwell.
The real cows seem like normally integrated people and generally are succesful and they Have careers and are worshipped but If You look a bit close at them You can see the shit they are pulling and how evil/hypocritical and so on they are and how If You get a look that passes their appearances IT gets even funnier seeing the shit they get away with.
Girls like Venus, Shayna, Luna, the anorexic girl are genuinely mentally ill…it's just weird being so critical towards someone that is unwell and their actions become predictible or boring…
If You look at artists or even popular people on the internet IT becomes FASCINATING to pull apart and see how much shit they got behind them and the stuff they do while they keep wealthy, Have power, Have careers, are surrounded by positivity
I wish we'd focus more on celebrity Moids, their antics, the shit that they do or even refularly EFAMOUS people. IT seems that You can only see women dying or that are sick as lolcows or that are inofensive
No. 1725846
>>1725842IT just bothers me we aren't focusing on people like HASAN ABI for example and rip him apart? He is a Los Angeles billionaire LARPING as a leftist the milk comes from how hypocritical he is. We can nitpick him.
I just hate coming to lolcow and seeing a picture of Pumpy on the front Page which is just a regular bitch doing SW she's not evil, hypocritical, funny to watch. I dont know and the 'milk" is honestly just nitpicks that are super out of reach.
Lucinda? A dying anorexic? Boring and predictable and unmilky. I just wonder why these people are being chosen when people in positions of power constantly do whacky weird shit that îs straight up embarassing. I mean yeah those people have their own threads but the main focus or the most notorious "cows" are still unfortunately mentally ill women or literally normal women. I wish we could focus on actually sucessful ppl the shit they get away with, how funny and weird they act, how hypocritical they are.
I dont know I want to see a lot of pictures of Elon Musk when I come to lolcow on the front Page and I want him to be the banner of lolcow as opposed to Venus Angelic a mentally unwell girl that has no support system in Japan and has done everything She could to stay afloat. Elon Musk is a lolcow more than Lucinda îs. He acts like an autistic fucking child even though he is a multi billionaire. He has a huge ego. He abuses women. His hair implant is fucking pathetic. If we pay more attention to him a lot of more things can be brought to light that we are not aware of. He has a lot of children. He impregnates women all the time. That's more lolcowish than fucking Lucinda? Or pixie whatever her name is. The mentally ill girl…
Famous people with power are șo MILKY these ppl are washed up
No. 1725847
File: 1697268435155.jpg (31.73 KB, 657x668, F3cxZg6WUAAG2ti.jpg)
i completely dropped taking SSRIs cold turkey 2 months ago after being on them for about 1.5 years and i think i dont want to go back (doing somewhat better now anyways) but im just so sleepy for most of the day and eating too much garbage without them…. maybe i should research what vitamins i might be lacking…….
No. 1725853
>>1725848Then what makes up a cow? Someone mentally ill, weak, unwell that also finds an outlet of expression through the internet? I mean…I fail to see that. To me those people are unproblematic or predictable. Also the people we talk about like Lucinda are also straight forward and they dont give a shit If that is the requirment of not being held responsible.
I dont know im having more fun watching someone famous and seeing the shit they are pulling
No. 1725871
>>1725842Well this is a gossip site, people want light hearted gossip to unwind. LC is not a site made to catch predators and war criminals, and reading about truly evil people is really depressing.
A lot of people also follow cows because they have a personal connection to them, I personally met Venus in person and spoke to her before she went off the rails. I wanted her to get better and have a good life but she herself makes choices to make it worse instead. I can't help to check on her here from time to time just to see what she's up to. People who write in something like the lolita thread are typically lolitas themselves and like having an anonymous place to discuss annoying people without getting thrown out of the community - even if the things the complain about are pretty minor.
I'm sure if you can format it right there are people who'd care about a moid thread too.
No. 1725902
>>1725889Yeah I remember that, it's just my body reacts so strong to every movement of the plane, like during the take off when I feel the plane is picking up, I feel the pressure and the movement, I feel so sick I start to shake and I can't get rid
of that feeling for the rest of the flight. With every slight turbulence I start crying etc. This flight is only slightly less than 2 hours, but for me it will be 2 hours of mental and physical torment. I have things to distract myself and some snacks too, but I always end up not using any of it because I'm so paralyzed. I'm also alone, if I was flying with a friend or a significant other, I woudl feel better. I also think "if I die at least I won't die alone" kek
No. 1725909
File: 1697276043933.jpg (108.7 KB, 640x485, unicorn.jpg)
my friend hasn't answered me in over a day which she never does. i don't know if i should freak out or not, she moved to another city and i don't know any of her friends and i'm not sure if it's appropriate to ask. i'm really worried and i've been having a horrible feeling of dread in my stomach, i just hope she's just tired from being busy and asleep. i hope i'm just being neurotic because i'm always overthinking thinking about impending catastrophe. i fell asleep feeling terrible and i've only felt worse when i woke up with nothing from her, usually she sends me something by the morning but i suppose it's still morning now so maybe she's just sleeping. i hope i'm just being weird but what if i'm not and there's something for me to do? i can't shake this off until i hear something back. i'm such a nutcase but i hope i'm just a nutcase
No. 1725946
>>1725379i'm so sorry for you.
>>1725654>the hardest thing a human can dothat's why we have to avoid it so hard with multiple options that aren't completely safe? it's stupid easy to get knocked up, it could even happen against your will with you doing nothing. even comatose women can do that if they're raped.
No. 1725947
File: 1697281997621.jpeg (352.4 KB, 1179x933, IMG_0681.jpeg)
I hate that I cherish every ounce of kindness I receive from him. It’s like I’m starving and every breadcrumb teases my tastebuds but is never enough to really provide nourishment. Just keeps me wanting more, waiting for the next one.
I can’t stay away even though I want to, because when he gives other girls attention it hurts, but once they’re not around and he gives me some it feels so, so good that it’s worth the pain. If only y’all knew what kind of guy this is that I’m obsessing over, too… it’s really pathetic and I know that, but I guess I got addicted to the sporadic morsels of anything vaguely resembling his affection.
I wish we could just go back to hooking up so that I could at least feel him collapse onto me and run my fingers through his hair. Pathetic, pathetic pathetic. I have guys who are offering me exactly what I think I want, but here I am replaying in my mind how he wrapped a blanket around me and tucked it in tightly, I felt like a little beloved burrito. But I only get that attention and care when there’s not another girl around who is flirting with him, or someone he likes better and is more attentive towards.
I know he didn’t even mean the blanket wrap as anything affectionate, he’s shared more intimate moments as of late with other girls, though he hasn’t slept with them, at least I can tell myself I “won” him in some way… But I couldn’t win what I really wanted from him.
No. 1726140
>>1725951If you don't fall pregnant get the man tested. 9 times out of 10 it's a sperm problem.
t. ex fiance was sterile and did not want to get checked at first and tried to gaslight that it was me when he didn't know I had abortions in the past
No. 1726150
>>1726140Yeah we're going to give it a few months of trying before we go and do all the testing for both of us.
Sorry your ex was a dickhead
No. 1726499
File: 1697306191814.jpeg (145.97 KB, 1024x1024, OIG.jpeg)
>>1726442I use it to illustrate the tranny janny who doth ban me for naught but a zesty jest
No. 1726531
>>1726521you're not wrong. I have been snooping, and that's how I found out he had a gf in the first place. When I first met him, he never had any pictures of her on his social media. But, a mutual friend of ours shared something that led me to his gf's profile. This happened months later. That's where I saw all the pictures of them together.
This is so stupid. Sorry. Honestly, if he decides to lie/omit the information, that helps me get over him so much faster. I am hoping he'll just be upfront about that so I can retain some respect for him.
No. 1726712
File: 1697318958412.jpg (98.09 KB, 1200x675, de02678c-4095-48c0-bc92-39018d…)
I want to be a halfway NEET forever. Having more than part-time work makes me hate everyone and everything and gives me suicidal thoughts. Yeah, maybe I want to stay inside 90% of the time, play Flash games, and browse the Internet. I want to randomly think of a topic, maybe a new dish I'd like to try, and look up recipes for three hours. And then I need a nap without an alarm set. Then go back and spend another four hours reading about lolcows and gossip. Then spend two hours sorting out my music playlists. I want to wake up naturally after sleeping like a baby for 9 hours. I hate the clock so much and don't want it controlling my life. I want only to have online friends, and I don't give a fuck that it's not real because it's enjoyable and comfortable. I'm 26 and could do this until 37 easily as long as I have a tiny bit of income to pay rent for a room plus food. And I probably won't even regret it. Maybe that's what I was meant to do, absolutely NOTHING. And be very comfortable. This is my autistic loser version of a soft girl life. Stop expecting things of me, I just want to exist. Maybe I'll change, but not now or in the near future. I might change at 35 and suddenly want a career. But I can do that then. Why do I crave the lifestyle of a teenage MMO addict on summer break? How come everyone else was ready to take on the world at 18-19, and I never wanted anything like it? I don't see the appeal in any of it. I'm not sure what happened, but I grew up on the Internet and got trapped. I don't want to leave. I feel a lot of shame but not enough that it's worth torturing myself with studies and full-time work. Ever. The whole world could laugh at me, and I still wouldn't get a full-time job. I have tried school and felt nothing when I got good grades. I felt nothing when my savings grew as I worked full-time. I get way more enjoyment from my tangerine plant and my sweet potato plant or when the birds I feed bring me pinecones or when I buy fruit and it's not just good but perfectly ripe and sweet. I wish people didn't think of this laziness as a bad thing. You can be lazy and a good person.
No. 1726749
File: 1697321613359.jpg (140.07 KB, 735x722, 2269c7f212302fc07097737bdd36ed…)
>>1726712This is me and I have a masters degree kek. I just want to give up in a relaxing way not a miserable way. I am currently willfully unemployed and get a lot of judgement for it (I have enough savings to do this for another year or so) and when I first graduated I was depressed that I couldn't find work. Then after working 4 years I was depressed just being at work. Especially on a nice beautiful day when I had to go back inside the cubicle and sit sit sit. So dull. Absolutely mind numbing. I think most careers are soul crushing if you do it enough. We try to derive meaning from it, but it's not enough. I want to RELAX AND PLAY
No. 1726755
>>1726712This is so incredibly based NONNERS. The thing îs that it's incredible being privileged enough to not Have to work. Personally, I'm struggling with severe mental illness which literally makes me incapable to work but my family îs unable to support me and in my country disability isn't enough.
Wish that I could get a working class guy to be with me and support me, unfortunately I've been rejected my whole life by men… and most people. For some girls IT is so easy.
No. 1726837
File: 1697329558491.jpg (202.48 KB, 1440x960, bleh.jpg)
I hate that everything from my childhood is getting a reboot. They are making scott pilgrim into a cartoon now?? Why? The movie came out like 15 years ago and it was sus then. How are they gonna skate around a literal adult dating someone in high school and being a general piece of shit? I am not ready for the gen z empty headed idiots claiming Ramona Flowers is totally them.
No. 1726840
>>1726749It's cool that you chose that, even with a master's degree. How do people judge you? I typically just get the "Oh…" and see the judgement in their eyes, that's it. I wish I knew women like you in real life. And exactly, in a relaxing way, not a miserable way. Not like getting up at 3 PM, never showering, and living off pizza… But getting up at like 10, taking the time to make a nice breakfast, going for a walk, doing fun internet things. Like you I also have enough savings for about another year and then I'll get a part-time job again. I find part-time retail to be okay. I like customers and getting a bit of social interaction from that. I also want to relax more than anything. And play. When I work I'm always too tired and uninspired and all my brain and body does is beg for more sleep and rest.
>>1726755I hope you find a scrote to support you
nonnie. For a while I scammed scrotes by catfishing, you can make a little pocket money here and there.
No. 1726952
>>1724144Sometimes I think about the fact that forensics and other people have to sort through thousands of hours of CP to help identify some of the
victims, and then I think about the creeps that probably try to get in those positions for disgusting reasons.
No. 1726994
I'm so embarrassed, a childhood friend and neighbour of mine messaged me if i want to go out for a drink for her birthday, i haven't talked to her since i was around 12 but i said yes anyway because truthfully, im very lonely.
i went to their house with some blue jeans and a baggy green jumper to see her and her friends all wearing club outfits. i honestly don't know what i expected but it wasn't clubbing and i think my autism probably made me naively think it wasn't that. so five shots and many vodkas later one of the friends keeps making fun of me, asking if im a lesbian, what my type is, but in a very mean girl kind of tone. then i started dancing because im slightly pissed and i see someone make fun of me, then they meet up with some boys and they make fun of my dancing. im just dying of cringe what an absolute nightmare, i just want a nerdy friend group to play video games with. i also snogged a man like 15 times on the dance floor (regret), only to realise hes friends with the girl im with, so we meet him outside the club and he's ignoring me, and his friends are all saying i want his snap (i dont) shes also telling everyone we bump into that i snogged a guy and i'm 'not as innocent as i look'
i want to forget this night
No. 1727000
>>1726997U can tell from the use of snapchat kek, but thank you
nonny its my dream to have a group of nerdy girls to play vidya with
No. 1727052
>>1726994Fuuuuck, ugh. Your friends’ friend sounds like a bitch. I’m sorry, that whole thing sounds mortifying, if you were here we’d chill and watch something funny kek.
I had a similar thing happen when I was in college. I got a ride, from a guy I kinda liked, to a mutual friend-of-a-friend’s “kickback”. We show up, and it turns out it’s actually a LINGERIE PARTY. So like 5 minutes later, a whole huge crew of absolutely gorgeous girls come click-clacking into the house with their super high heels, perfect hair, makeup, nails, and sexy outfits. And I’m sitting there on the couch in jeans and an oversized sweater. So I’m just kinda “there” while these hot sorority girls are laughing with and totally capturing the boys’ attention (including the guy I came there to hang out with) and I was basically invisible at that point. It reminded me of being a dorky 12-year-old again or something
No. 1727054
>>1727038He did pay yeah, and is pussy footing now that he’s back because he can tell I’m pissed (good).
>>1727044Genius I like your style
No. 1727193
>>1726837did you even saw the first pages of the comic? I am sure you never did, because you would never write something like that i
anyway, the movie was its own story and this series is, supposedly, an adaptation of all comic books as it is,
so it will go by the comic books story and not by the movie story
No. 1727200
>>1726994relating hard nona, you're not alone.
>>1727194same, same. realizing you're that token weird friend helps.
No. 1727241
>>1726840I'm pretty and not stupid but my whole life I've been rejected by men. I can't get a guy to do something for me while I'm Nice and pretty and nobody's ever loved me I don't know why.
I can't imagine catfishing a Man when nobody gives a shit about me when I'm fully myself.
No. 1727335
File: 1697378518631.jpeg (88.65 KB, 736x726, EWLJWBnXsAMQlZ_.jpeg)
My husband and I were out doing errands yesterday and he acts like an asshole when he’s in a mood. Our convo went like this:(This was my tipping point btw and not the everything)
Me: “what should we make for supper?”
Him: “I don’t know”
Me: “we’ll if that’s the case we’ll just pick up the basics”
Him: “ugh fine we’ll just eat out forever and never save any money”
After that I chose to drop his ass off at home and have fun by myself. When I came back he kept wondering if he needed medication and I just told him that I’m not his therapist.
No. 1727360
>>1727345he is quite doughy in a weird way (does he edit his waist?). looks like someone who just went on a crash diet from obese to the high end of healthy and lost all their muscle.
anyway the users there are probably just your average dumb male caught up on his makeup, probably don't even know he's wearing false eyelashes.
No. 1727470
>>1727349He does and I make him help me when we cook together. He was mostly
triggered by economy related things and didn’t know how to control himself. Still not something I deserve to put up with.
>>1727362Thank you! I did and bought myself some flowers.
No. 1727619
File: 1697390514927.png (5.12 MB, 1920x1408, 1639198432340.png)
Having a mother who expects you to constantly fix her mistakes, AFTER you've warned her about them is so tiring. I've done this for years now because it's what she expects and I feel as though I have an obligation due to her being my mother, despite not receiving any help from her myself even when I was growing up.
I can see an issue brewing and anyone with a brain can see that what she's doing won't lead to anything positive, yet she ignores me when I bring it up and I am already starting to stress out about how to stabilise the situation after she fucks up for the nth time. All this while knowing that in order to help her I will have to stunt my own personal(mostly financial) growth.
I've never understood people who look at comfy photos to feel better until today. Will try to find a comforting movie to watch and pretend this isn't happening I guess.
No. 1727642
>>1727568I agree with you. Religion is such a scam. Look at the current war going on over 'holy land.' When my mom was in ICU, she was given a lot more time by the doctors and nurses. My aunt thanked god and i told her to shut up. Now my dad is in the hospital and my aunt (on his side) is saying if god wants him to go, we should let him go.
I am so sorry with all the pain you and your mother are currently dealing with.
No. 1727655
File: 1697392513003.gif (4.04 MB, 500x374, goingferal.gif)
I miss sex with my ex so much. He tried to get back a few times, but we were toxic together, so I declined every time. He wasn't there for me when I needed him the most and dumped me like I was a flaming piece of shit. Like all retarded men, he regretted it profusely. Dumb ass.
I have too much pride and refuse to concede him anything that makes him too happy— even if it's just sex for my pleasure too. Masturbating just doesn't do anything for me atm (yes, I have vibrators; yes, I'm on SSRIs). I don't like having casual sex with randos, and despite liking my current FWB a lot, the sex is no match to the one I had with my ex. The mere thought of not having toe-curling sex until the next time I'm deeply in love with someone sends me shivers.
TL;DR: why do toxic men give such good dick?
No. 1727666
File: 1697393267624.jpg (16.24 KB, 474x254, OIP.jpg)
what is the best way to deal with unclean living environments? i had to move back into my parents' house and they just… don't clean. i've seen the kitchen floor mopped maybe 15 times in my life. i used to try to clean and counteract it as a preteen/teenager but i have given up on any of the common areas because it's a sisyphean nightmare to tackle layers of grime only to turn around and find random garbage cluttered on the counter and sink again. then when i moved it was like heaven having a clean space. i'm NOT a tidy person, but i am not unhygienic, and my problem is mainly putting away clothes and making the bed. not leaving knives with cat food on them on the countertop or leaving food that needs to be refrigerated out overnight. breaking up with my ex and coming home was and is so difficult. it is seriously interfering with my ability to eat because my mom doesn't wash her hands and insists on us all eating dinner together and i just can't do it, everything in this house feels so contaminated and unclean and it makes ME feel contaminated and unclean and i end up not eating or only eating out which is so expensive and i don't have money. or eating and then feeling physically ill and nauseous (probably psychosomatic but still). just hate feeling so uncomfortable in my own home.
No. 1727689
>>1727666 you're living my worst nightmare
nonnie, thinking everything is contaminated will seriously just drive you insane if you cannot work against it at all. when i was still living with family, keeping my own stuff/room clean gave me sanity and i kept a few mugs and things like that in my room that no one was allowed to touch to at least have some things that did not feel 'contaminated'. i hope you can leave soon or find a similar way to stay sane!!
No. 1727802
File: 1697402575058.jpeg (66.78 KB, 976x653, 1677195458370.jpeg)
Well, it was fun doing mutual laundry and cleaning up the apartment for the majority of my day just for my boyfriend to get drunk and treat me like an asshole for hanging up fucking Halloween lights.
>hanging up lights, tape isn't good but it's what bf implied I use until he goes to buy better tape tomorrow
>my 5'3 ass up on a ladder trying to tape down lights one-handed on the trim
>window blind cover falls off and smacks down on the floor
>bf, who was drinking and playing video games, comes in to help
>note: I did not ask him to help, he just came in after hearing fuss
>instead of helping he's being incompetent and goofy
>he'd been bobbing in and out to hug me and hang off me all day while I worked
>it was cute earlier but now I was doing something that requires my focus
>ask him to just hand me pieces of tape while I was up on the ladder
>keeps handing me tape cut too short (think fingernail size) which a child ought know would not work
>he blames the tape
>guess I had magic fingers that made it work somehow
>he's complaining about how "this is hell" and how he wants to go play video games while standing there and handing me tape pieces
>he criticizes me for "complaining" when the tape doesn't hold the string light and it falls
>I explain because the trim is dusty and no one is holding the weight of the lights in addition to the tape being mid
>I get annoyed/frustrated because I keep having to correct him about the tape length and it's leaking into my voice
>he accuses me of yelling and being mean, and of course when I defend myself it's proof that I am because I am "defensive"
>he buggers me as to why I am even hanging lights to begin with cause "he was gonna do it tomorrow"
>so it was my fault for wanting to get these lights hung
I finished the lights myself.
He went to go be angry and play his video games in the room and is ignoring me.
Guess I have to be the asshole so he doesn't have to feel like a useless bum.
No. 1727807
File: 1697403027766.png (654.69 KB, 547x501, 1624451613625.png)
Aside from my best friend of fifteen years, I'm growing apart from all my other friends. Instead of being all sad about it, I realized "Huh, sucks" is about the height of my feelings about it and the longer I think about it, the more I start to wonder if we really were friends or just kept close out of circumstance.
No. 1728248
>>1728016I did the same for my little sister for probably 13 years of my life. She is literally a textbook narcissist. It's easier to cut them off rather than make that kind of relationship work. Your sister probably doesn't deserve any of your kindness. I made a foolish mistake and I even lived with mine which ended with her taking my entire security deposit (a thousand fucking dollars). Be selfish nonna, I wish you the best.
On that note I haven't spoken to mine in 4 years, I have no regrets about that.
No. 1728304
>>1728303To add, I started that job when I was in my libfem phase too
thank god I never made an Onlyfans but since reading actual feminist texts and becoming more radfem it's now really conflicting with my core beliefs. I'm sick of
indulging moids in their sissy fetishes and the fact this was my life for the last 3 years angers me. I want to do away with all of it. I really don't know what I can do.
No. 1728309
>>1728303I had a job as a
bot manager at popular scam dating websites and I
sexted old gross dudes so they would spend more money on premiums It's a soul crushing job and the money wasn't that good. In my experience, everyone leaves after some time. I quit too. I guess you wouldn't be able to hold your job and would eventually quit, so make a back up plan asap. I know it's really chil and working from home is cool but you are one nasty client away from quitting for good.
No. 1728317
>>1728248The word “selfish”
triggers them so much too whenever it’s framed positively around yourself. It was like the most sinful thing you could say to my mom.
No. 1728343
>>1728328There's so many other things you can do, why do that?
Call centers will hire you to answer the phone from home, my friend used to do that while she was in school
No. 1728360
>>1728350I got paid for the clients messaging me. Basically, the message costs a dollar and I had 10% of that. So it depends of how much I worked. Usually around 150$ per month, it's okay money for a student in my country.
I can't say exactly what was the nastiest stuff. It was all disgusting. I would say old ugly fucks believing that young hot models want to fuck them. They absolutely lack any self awareness. Sometimes I did live chats. It was a looped video of some hottie masturbating on camera and I basically had a text chat with the guy, as if I was that women. Of course I needed to look at his camera feed to interact with him, so lots of gross 70 yo cocks. And I was like "oh, mister geriatric! Your unwashed peepee is so hot and big!". Ugh, it was terrible.
No. 1728367
>>1728360Yeah that does sound absolutely soul-crushing. So how many hours would you say you worked for those 150$?
>>1728343You're probably right. I have some major anxiety around phonecalls (childish, I know) so I figured text messaging for extra income would be less stressful. Maybe I should try and find a customer support texting job that I can do from home, I just don't really know where to find jobs like that. Never seem like they post any job listings anyway.
No. 1728372
>>1728367I didn't work that much. I was just spamming those guys with bots and than making them send more messages. You can do it while watching movies or playing vidya basically. I did while studying for my classes, for example. We were scumming USA moids, so different time zones was a problem for me, since I needed to stay up late.
>>1728368Oh, they care,
nonnie. We didn't just swap them with "hey, honey, wanna fuck?". The point is to write a witty and clever message to show them that you are an interesting person to talk with. I talked about fucking Norse mythology and classics with one of our whales.
No. 1728377
>>1728373They really don't care but the point is to entertain them and make them spend more cash. So I needed to know how to nudge the conversation in a certain way to make them text more. It's all deep and intricate psychology, man. ChatGPT is not clever enough for that yet. You need to read the room and know when to text them with horny messages, when to be funny, when to be clueless bimbo in need of a strong and smart man and when to be an intellectual who can talk about fucking philosophy and shit.
That, and we make a very intricate spectacle for those moids. They actually can meet their pretty model in real life… except she is one of our employees who also needs to take as much of his cash as possible without getting laid. Our clients were mostly lonely boomers who are not so tech savvy, so they genuinely believed that a hot single woman wants their disgusting cock.
No. 1728383
>>1728379I agree with your point but a lot of our clients genuinely believed they are talking to a real woman and not some broke student from a 3rd world country. We make that dream for them that they are loved and needed. As I said, they thought we are 1000% legit. We had some assblasted clients who cried that we were scammers.
It's more about how stupid and gullible moids are. Imagine that, some broke old man sees a 10/10 model who is totally into him and wants to talk to him and likes his dickpics. Someone with at least some brain would think that something is not right. But they actually believe it. And I'm not talking about just liking the spectacle that we make for them. No, they actually buy into all that bullshit. Every man is a self-important asshole who thinks he can score the prettiest woman out there. In fact, he doesn't need to search for them! On those sites, we have a legion of "women" assaulting their PMs and they think to themselves "wow, I finally can meet my dream waifu". Also note that we pose as Asian or East European mail order brides, so they think that women there are not picky and eager for western cock.
No. 1728395
>>1727399Happy birthday, fellow Libra nona. I hope your year will be better than you expect, even if by a little bit. I'm wishing you all the best.
Love,
Nona
No. 1728443
>>1724678This place fosters pedophiles. Like men that pretend to be women and groom girls. Also, the scary part is that this place does attract underaged women. The anons can be gaslighting too. I got groomed by a pedophile rapist on lolcow that would talk to underaged girls and he tried destroying my life but he ended up raping a woman in real life, so he went to prison.
When I posted about it the blame was shifted onto me. Which is weird why would you side with a an
abusive pedophiliac rapist narcissist that is now in prison for raping a woman and has been inhabiting this shithole for 5 years rather than siding with a woman.
Also, the incredibily catty freaks that attack you over stupid shit like you venting about your mental illness or feeling like you are stuck in your life. It isn't some random autistic, socially unfit, nerdy women. A lot of girls on here have sociopathic traits or BPD and they purposefully want to be
toxic or evil and the anonimity facilitates that.
I've been on lolcow for 7 years and to be honest back in the day it was kinda as bad but there was less agressivity on /ot/. Back then scrotes were literally allowed on the website and nobody would Say anything because the radfem rethoric was brought over like 3-4 years ago probably by Tumblr users.
I can say that I still enjoy this place. Somewhat…just some posts resonate with me usually the ones regarding mental illness/being suicidal.
But I can't really get over what the place that I grew up on has done to me and what people that are like me have done to me over small disagreements or confusions and that I was blamed for the abuse that I'm put through and how horrible my life is and that I was gaslit to such a level.
(take your pills) No. 1728455
>>1728446I consider myself feminist too and have radical feminist beliefs but if I show some nuance I get attacked and told that I'm a tranny and a scrote. Even tho I agree with most of the stuff radfems say like the porn industry being
abusive, scrotes being shit, liberal feminism being shit. It just feels odd to be shred to pieces for showing a bit of nuance when you are actually in agreement with these people.
>>1728450I don't know why You think it's a joke. I haven't really witnessed anyone be treated like this over abuse. The guy that did that to me has been on lolcow for 5 years and is now in prison for molesting a woman in real life. Do you think that's funny?????
He also used to talk to an underaged 16 year old girl he found in the friend finder thread. The girl was autistic and gulliable and they started dating and he would Make her send him nudes. I posted about him way before this happened. Before he groomed the underaged girl in the friend finder and before he went to prison for molesting a woman and literally it was ignored and instead I got dogpiled and attacked and blamed for shit nobody else would be blamed for. I don't think it's funny.
No. 1728458
>>1728444Is this an anxiety thing? I'd like to vent about this because I used to be scared of leaving my house, still am a bit. But if I'm out of line please ignore me.
I used to observe people walking outside my house thinking, all of these people just go out there? Do things? With no care in the world? Like you can just do that?
Then I started going outside for small walks just thinking about how other people are allowed to do things unbothered. It made me mad at myself that I really felt like someone was telling me I wasn't allowed to live my life like I wanted to. Nobody is telling this to the normies. I owe it to myself to not be scared of anything. I was determined to try to get over my fears just because I was embarrassed I was holding myself back.
But yeah, sorry I took over your post. It reminded me of my own struggle. I hope everything's okay with you.
No. 1728477
File: 1697462211685.jpg (68.54 KB, 888x499, 1648994498376.jpg)
>>1728443Welcome back Romanianon. Gotta love the selective amnesia about the support you got when you dragged drama with your discord moid into lolcow.
No. 1728483
>>1728474It's because she's retarded. What this is actually about, is that she got in contact with a moid called Steven who posted in the friend finder thread. But contrary to what she says, farmers largely had her back, even despite her being an obnoxious shitposter who said she hates farmers several times and shat up multiple threads with her sperging.
Refer to this thread where it happened:
>>1003514 No. 1728492
>>1728489HE IS IN PRISON FOR RAPING AN INNOCENT WOMAN. I KEEP REPEATING THE SAME STUFF BUT YOU IGNORE IT THEN MANAGE TO GASLIGHT ME BY SAYING THAT I AM INCOHERENT AND INSANE. 6 MONTHS AFTER POSTING HIM HE TRIED RAPING A WOMAN IN HIS STATE AND HE WENT TO PRISON FOR THAT.
>>1728489No, I got called a whore, a liar, told that I brought him here, had my truth shifted and it urged him to continue messaging women from the friend finder thread. Literally, after I posted about him You all started lying and attacking me and this urged him to not leave.
He ended up grooming a 16 year old girl off of the friend finder thread and then he raped a woman and went to prison. The scum lolcow fosters…
>>1728477My discord moid meaning the scum that has been posting on lolcow for 5 years? That You urged to continue posting by calling me a whore, cat killer, pedophile and demonizing me?
It's insane how You manage to lie and twist everything against me.
No. 1728501
>>1728492No one is taking his side, I’m definitely not taking his side, no one wanted him here. Also, you are mentally ill so I don’t know why you’re so offended when other people say it as a fact not and insult, you’ve said so yourself many times. I’ve never called you a whore or a liar and I’ve always believed you but you only focus on the negative comments you see which is why people who support you stop supporting you, because you just ignore them and claim they hate you.
>He ended up grooming a 16 year old girl off of the friend finder thread and then he raped a woman and went to prison. The scum lolcow fosters…He is the predator, it’s his fault not the website’s.
>>1728496No, romanianon.
No. 1728503
>>1728492How can you say you were not supported‽ When
>>1728483 linked to the original thread and we all can read the majority of the responses you received were trying to offer you as much support and help as it’s possible in an anonymous setting such as this one‽
No. 1728528
>>1728515I'm not avtar fagging KEK I made a completely reasonable post about why this place is going dormant and made good points. Talked about my own experience plus reasons to why a lot of old users are leaving. The hostility, the fact that this place attracts women with BPD that are
toxic. The fact That anons get hostile replies in the vent thread Simply for posting about how they are depressed and suicidal. Being told that you are a tranny or a guy If You slightly disagree regarding politics even if you are siding with those people in the first place. I never avatarfagged it is just when I make a completely reasonable post with good arguments someone says "it's Romanion" and they accuse me of some insane stuff and I get dogpilled. Feels weird to be treated like this by ppl that You are siding with, that are similar to You ETC in a place where You Grew up…
>>1728443>>1728523I don't know. I make good points.
No. 1728529
File: 1697467369246.jpg (20.41 KB, 280x335, 77f70a4c49ee4992f5f547522bccb6…)
>>1728506Me watching the argentinean elections from afar
No. 1728541
File: 1697468027136.png (90.1 KB, 617x745, IMG_20231016_085204.png)
>>1728515Nonna… this is avatarfagging, it has to have a picture that they repeatedly post
No. 1728547
>>1728443If you get groomed on an anonymous imageboard that's kinda on you. Like we're
anonymous, use your brains.
No. 1728558
>>1728541And I want to stop because honestly I don't wanna be recognized, that was never what I intended. An avatarfag is someone that shitposts and I'm actually candid and serious regarding the things that I say, opinions, thoughts, experiences. An avatarfag is a shitposter.
>>1728547Yea, I never said it's the fault of lolcow inherently but it was just some reasoning regarding to why this place is dying. The fact that it attracts weird men that blend across masses, the gossip and the characters that are being discussed attract underaged women that browse the internet or vulnerable women that are susceptibile to being hurt.
The fact that it attracts women that are in a way or another like the cows themselves, women that are hostile and agressive or that sharing a bit of nuance regarding politics even if you are actually siding with the people in question and have the same beliefs will get you demonized. I've seen so many anons post about being suicidal/depressed or seen them making posts about their life and they get incredibly evil replies.
No. 1728629
Even if you're his dream woman, it'll only last a few months tops. I'm way out of his league, yet… he's used to me now. It went from literal worship to being treated like we've been married for 40 fucking years. I'm no supermodel but above average, pretty. Yet I get the feeling it wouldn't matter if I was a supermodel either. Maybe the worshipping would last for a few more months, but still… they "conquer" you, and then the caveman process of slowly starting to look for more pussy begins. It was all true. I look better than a lot of women yet there's no fucking security in that, I work out literally every single day and put so much effort into my looks, yet he'd probably cheat with someone like Shayna. Just because the pussy is new. I knew this, I've seen women say it, but going through it feels fucking weird. Kek at me playing this game that's impossible to win. The closest I can imagine to "winning" the game right now is jumping from fling to fling, getting the New Girlfriend treatment for a few months then dropping him as soon as the effort fades.
No. 1728646
File: 1697475288403.gif (402.23 KB, 200x118, slap.gif)
>>1728638get it together girl, you know better!
No. 1728694
File: 1697477550531.jpg (322.93 KB, 719x966, Screenshot_20231016-162705.jpg)
>>1728484The industry of scamming simps has a ton of these kinds of jobs lol I attached some of the offers that are available. Even pretending to be a girl on Tinder is a job now. I made a little over 200 but I didn't work for very long. In a month I could have made around 300.
No. 1728727
File: 1697479473280.png (114.78 KB, 243x275, 5D1531BC-B908-4C94-BEC0-7B3BE1…)
I desperately want to call my ex but I know that even if I’m successful in reconciling it probably wouldn’t last if I initiated it. I have no idea what’s going on in his life either. I haven’t seen any evidence that he’s been with other girls but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t. He broke up with me because I scared him but really I feel like it’s because he felt like we had a real chance of being endgame and he was too afraid of commitment at that point. He said he needed to be alone and at least from what I’ve seen he’s actually done that. But I would also feel stupid trying to reconcile and then backtracking if I found out he’s been sleeping with other girls. I think we were really amazing together but at the end of the day he’s still a moid so he apparently can’t work on himself in a relationship he sees as viable if he’s not “ready” which is such buckshot and a really unattractive moid quality. I’ve tried dating a few times but I haven’t found anyone as attractive as my ex and even when I do talk to cute guys they just bore me or only want something casual. I’m applying for study abroad opportunities as well which would make reconciling an even dumber idea but I can’t get him out of my head. He went completely silent on social media for months, randomly popped up multiple times for a few months, and seems to have disappeared again. I hate how stupid he is and I hate how he framed this break up because it gives me hope yet he completely avoids me. I wish he’d either come back or get a new girlfriend or leave my social media entirely so I can just get out of this limbo.
No. 1728731
>>1728717I know some ESL filipinos use it but I don't. Yes, they usually pay you through paypal and wise.
>>1728718No. The models know their content is being sold. We simply do the chatting and selling.
No. 1728751
>>1728742thanks
nonny if it works out i will be eternally grateful, 300 usd is like double the minwage in my country and way more than i earned drawing furry vore shit
No. 1728758
>>1728694This feels draining and mentally degrading, also those accounts sound like accounts that are ran by Moids using the porn of women that Have possibly been sex trafficked or coerced into it…
I dont think an actual Onlyfans model would ask for that.